On 1/4/2024 8:00 PM, John B. wrote:
>
> An interesting question is how would tommy, living in a cruddy part of
> a small California town (pop - 19,000) discover what a bloke in the
> N.E. corner of Massachusetts is doing?
>
> Does he, in the dark of the moon, creep up on the roof of his garage,
> flap - his wings a fly away off to the East coast? Or perhaps he is
> jet powered? After a supper of beans and beer, up on the roof, pants
> down, bend over and Bbbraaaaappppp, he blasts off, leaving a brown
> streak all the way to Massachusetts.
_Now_ you're singing my tune!
Why, is Tommy our very own Studebaker Hoch?!?!
https://youtu.be/4XsuYMtnCKY?si=56q8hStAxvo8ggJP
@ 10:50
Now, some folks say he looked like ZUBIN MEHTA
Still others say bullshit honey, He's just another greasy guy who
happened to be born next to the Frozen Beef Pies at BONEY'S MARKET.
Still others say piss on you, Jack! He's just a crazy Italian who drove
a red car.
You see, Nobody ever really knew for sure, Because STUDEBAKER was so
mysterious...
He was so (He was so, he was so!)
Mysterious!
He was so (He was so, he was so!)
Mysterious!
'Cuz when a person gets to be such a hero, folks, And marvelous beyond
compute,
You can never really tell about a guy like that
Whether he's really a nice person Or if he just smiles a lot
Or if he has a son named "PINOCCHIO", or what?
Some men say he could fly
Some men say he could swim
Others say he could sing like NEIL SEDAKA,
And all the girls in FLUSHING would be amazed of him
@ 15:35
So many rumors have spread about STUDEBAKER HOCH! Consider this rumor
which was published about three weeks ago in ROLLING STONE ("Oh, it's
gotta be true!"): STUDEBAKER HOCH can write the Lord's Prayer on the
head of a pin!
@ 17:00
Boldly springing into action, he phoned his wife (who ran a modeling
school), whereupon he ran around the back of the Broadway at Hollywood
Boulevard and Vine to see if he could find himself some big large,
un-used cardboard boxes; after which, he hit up the RALPH'S on Sunset
for some 'AUNT JEMIMA SYRUP', some 'KAISER BROILER FOIL', and a pair of
blunt scissors! Yes! Yes, and in the parking lot of RALPH'S, (where "no
prices are lower prices than RALPH'S") in between a pair of customized
trucks where nobody was looking, he cut out some really, really, really
nice wings, and he covered them thoroughly with foil! Then he took those
wings and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a
telephone booth. Then he pulled down his blue denim policeman type
trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of AUNT JEMIMA maple syrup all
over the inside of his legs! Soon the booth was filling with flies!
("Help me, help me, help me!") He held open the legs of his boxer shorts
so they could all get in, and when each and every one of those little
cocksuckin' flies had gone into his pants, and they were lapping up all
that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and
he said in a very clear, impressive, RON HUBBARD-type voice: "NEW YORK!"
And the booth and everything lifted up, out of the parking lot, and into
the sky!
(Libretto courtesy of Zappa Wiki
(
https://wiki.killuglyradio.com/wiki/Billy_The_Mountain))
> Ridiculous? Certainly. Just as are tommy's posts.
Which are certainly more ridiculous than a Frank Zappa Musical vignette.