What is the most important question for a presidential candidate: "Were you wearing a helmet while bicycling?"

[sms]

<https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/01/15/opinion/andrew-yang-nytimes-interview.html>

Kathleen Kingsbury: Wonderful. Thank you. Yeah. So I have a serious
question to ask you, but first we wanted to ask, were you wearing a
helmet while you were biking here? Mr. Yang biked to the Times from his
Manhattan home. More New York City cyclists died biking in 2019 than in
any other year since 2000; Gothamist counts 29 deaths.

Yang: I was wearing a helmet. I have a staffer with the helmet as proof.

Jesse Wegman: Is the inside of the helmet warm?

My team then had me take the helmet off and then tried to make my hair
look good. So that’s why I didn’t show up with the helmet.

KK: It looks sharp.

[Andre Jute]

NYT: So tell us, Donald, did you wear a helmet when you came down the escalator?

The President of the United States: What a sad depth you've sunk to.

[Sepp Ruf]

Andre Jute wrote:
> On Tuesday, January 28, 2020 at 1:55:41 PM UTC, sms wrote:
>> <https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/01/15/opinion/andrew-yang-nytimes-interview.html>

Only fools appreciate to be served a completely unedited interview with
editor annotations thrown at the reader's eyes. Can't your mayor's office
get a subscription to the National Review?

>> Kathleen Kingsbury: Wonderful. Thank you. Yeah. So I have a serious
>> question to ask you, but first we wanted to ask, were you wearing a
>> helmet while you were biking here? Mr. Yang biked to the Times from his
>> Manhattan home. More New York City cyclists died biking in 2019 than in
>> any other year since 2000; Gothamist counts 29 deaths.
>>
>> Yang: I was wearing a helmet. I have a staffer with the helmet as proof.
>>
>> Jesse Wegman: Is the inside of the helmet warm?
>>
>> My team then had me take the helmet off and then tried to make my hair

>> look good. So that’s why I didn’t show up with the helmet..
>>
>> KK: It looks sharp.

Kathleen Kingsbury doesn't just look stupid. She grew up in Portland, Ore.,
studied in D.C. to become a lapdog journo, got a Pulitzer Prize thrown at
her. How could she ever know the inside of a slightly damp styrofoam lid is
likely to feel cooler, rather than warm, by the time the interview starts?

> NYT: So tell us, Donald, did you wear a helmet when you came down the escalator?
>
> The President of the United States: What a sad depth you've sunk to.

Ronald Reagan: Yes, my dear, and so should you. Bombing commences in five
minutes.

[jbeattie]

From the quote, Jesse Wegman asked about the helmet being warm. KK just thought Yang's hair looked sharp. If she actually grew up here, KK would be familiar with the thermal properties of helmets. We locals never ask about helmet temperature because we know better -- that's how we spot tourists.

-- Jay Beattie.

[Sepp Ruf]

jbeattie wrote:

>>> On Tuesday, January 28, 2020 at 1:55:41 PM UTC, sms wrote:
>>>> <https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/01/15/opinion/andrew-yang-nytimes-interview.html>

>>>> Kathleen Kingsbury: Wonderful. Thank you. Yeah. So I have a serious
>>>> question to ask you, but first we wanted to ask, were you wearing
>>>> a helmet while you were biking here? Mr. Yang biked to the Times
>>>> from his Manhattan home. More New York City cyclists died biking in
>>>> 2019 than in any other year since 2000; Gothamist counts 29
>>>> deaths.
>>>>
>>>> Yang: I was wearing a helmet. I have a staffer with the helmet as
>>>> proof.
>>>>
>>>> Jesse Wegman: Is the inside of the helmet warm?
>>>>
>>>> My team then had me take the helmet off and then tried to make my
>>>> hair look good. So that’s why I didn’t show up with the helmet..
>>>>
>>>> KK: It looks sharp.

> From the quote, Jesse Wegman asked about the helmet being warm. KK just
> thought Yang's hair looked sharp.

True, my fault for heading to the NR too quickly and reading about KK
spontaneous way of writing Presidential endorsements, then forgetting to
look up Wegman. Kingsbury only started the helmet topic. Wegman cannot be
blamed because he just has a law degree. I also pardon him so he may
continue in trying to keep James Dailey from getting killed.

> If she actually grew up here, KK would
> be familiar with the thermal properties of helmets. We locals never ask
> about helmet temperature because we know better -- that's how we spot
> tourists.

Tourists in Portland? I was under the impression all the tourists you get
there have organic dreadlocks-helmets, and must be making fun of the
shivering showerspass+styrofoam roadies?!

[jbeattie]

That's the homeless and not the tourists, or maybe the visiting team when Antifa has a game in town.

The tourists tend to be ernest creatives who take Segway tours. They walk up to me and touch my Showers Pass jacket and ask "Mr. Native, what is that strange garment you are wearing." Then they want to touch my hair and get a selfie with me at Voodoo Doughnuts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8y-6zPNqGI&t=95s The last part is a lie because I avoid Voodoo Doughnuts like the plague. One day, I'm going to go cow-tipping on the Segway tourists. They are second in vileness only to the eScooter dopes.

-- Jay Beattie.

[sms]

On 1/29/2020 12:49 PM, jbeattie wrote:

> The tourists tend to be ernest creatives who take Segway tours. They walk up to me and touch my Showers Pass jacket and ask "Mr. Native, what is that strange garment you are wearing." Then they want to touch my hair and get a selfie with me at Voodoo Doughnuts.

Fame is overrated. You have no idea what it's like.

[Andre Jute]

Okay, Sepp, you win, just this time. You get one point.

However, the point of the game is not to report what someone actually said, or a parody so close that one has to look it up to discover you made it up, but to make it up so obviously that people's reaction to it reveals their division into two groups: those who don't believe it are the right guys, and the guys who do believe it voted for Mrs Clinton.

Andre Jute
Straightforward