Top 10 Ways to tell a Power Bar from a Dog Turd
Bikeaddict
11. You can break a tooth on a cold power bar, a cold dog turd is both
tastier and gets a higher reccomendation from the ADA.
Bikea...@AOL.COM
Keith Olbrantz, North Carolina
MIKEBMILL
1. Power Bars cost $1.69. Dog turds are free.
2. Power Bars have shiny wrappers. Dog turds don't.
3. A fly will eat a dog turd. I've never seen a fly eat a Power Bar.
4. Dog turds get slippery when wet.
5. Power Bars come in 5 delicious (yeah - right!!) flavors. Dog turds
only come in 1.
6. Power Bars hold their shape in a jersey pocket much better than
dog turds.
7. Dog turds won't damage a lawn mower blade. The jury is still out
on Power Bars.
8. You won't find a Power Bar sitting on the ground in the park.
9. Dog turds are made of naturally occurring substances.
10. Dog turds are biodegradeable.
11. (Contributed by a German cyclist) You didn't get a dog turd in the
April issue of Miroir du Ciclisme.
Changes and additions to this list are welcome. Email me and I'll add
yours. Maybe we can get the top 100 ways!
Enjoy that next Power Bar!!
Marc San Soucie
> Top 10 Ways to tell a Power Bar from a Dog Turd
> 11. (Contributed by a German cyclist) You didn't get a dog turd in the
> April issue of Miroir du Ciclisme.
Maybe *you* didn't.
12. There was no Dog Turd International Women's Challenge this year.
13. You don't have to go to Idaho to tour the Dog Turd factory.
Marc San Soucie
Portland, Oregon
ma...@netcom.com
Slettenm
which no one in their right mind would eat. The other comes out the south
end of a dog.
matthew conroy
<42o5ri$2...@newsbf02.news.aol.com> mike...@aol.com (MIKEBMILL) writes:
>Top 10 Ways to tell a Power Bar from a Dog Turd
>
> ** list deleted **
Gee, some people sure know a lot about dog turds. I can
only guess where they got there knowledge.
matthew
Arthur C Clay
is this: THERE IS NO WAY TO TELL THE TWO APART.
*FRESH DOG SHIT = UNWRAPPED POWER BAR*
CASE CLOSED PEOPLE!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:DISFLAMER - Before treating the above article with the :
:disrespect and inflammation it may deserve, respondents:
:must be forewarned that the author's statements are at :
:times unintentionally subject to gross distortions, :
:foolish inaccuracies, and blatant controversy. :
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Mark Abramson
: Let's drop this "stinking" topic. The bottom line
: is this: THERE IS NO WAY TO TELL THE TWO APART.
: *FRESH DOG SHIT = UNWRAPPED POWER BAR*
and the "Wild Berry" flavor is a dog with hemerroids.
--
===============================*boink*=============================
Hi. I'm on the Tufts Cycling Team. If you or your company would
Like to sponsor a great bunch of racers, send me some e-mail.
---
mabr...@emerald.tufts.edu
Sean O'Malley
matthew conroy <con...@euclid.Colorado.EDU> wrote:
>
>Gee, some people sure know a lot about dog turds. I can
>only guess where they got there knowledge.
>
Don't know about dog turds, but I learned quite a bit about the taste
of horse manure when I did a rainy circuit race on the outskirts of
Lexington, KY a couple of years ago.
--sean
ctmo...@calon.com
Chris Mobley
ctmo...@calon.com
Eric Breitenberger
Some years ago in the Iditabike, Carl Tobin had an interesting
experience which he recounted to me. During the 200 miles of Iditabike,
you basically eat fairly constantly, so an efficient 'feeding system'
is very important. Carl's system was to carry chunks of Powerbars in his
pogies (insulated covers which go over your hands and the bars/levers).
At regular intervals, he would grab a chunk and pop it in his mouth.
The chunks are fairly cold, and it's only when you've chewed them a bit
that you find out what flavor they are.
As Carl tells it, he was riding along in the dark when he crashed and went
right over the bars. Most of his Powerbar chunks spilled out of his pogies
in the crash. The picture is this: Carl is fatigued and sleepy, and he's
picking the chunks up off the snow, only dimly visible in the low light.
Now he rides off down the frozen river. Shortly after, he feels a bit hungry,
so he pops a frozen chunk in his mouth and starts to suck on it. As the lump
begins to thaw, Carl thinks "Hmmmm, don't think I've had this flavor before."
Within seconds, of course, the realization dawned that he was sucking on
a frozen dog turd that he had picked up along with his Powerbar chunks!
Mind you, he never said which tasted better ...
Cheers, Eric Breitenberger
Mike Schwegman
Breitenberger) wrote:
> OMIGOD, I can't believe this thread! A true story follows:
>
> Some years ago in the Iditabike, Carl Tobin had an interesting
> experience which he recounted to me...
>
> [stuff deleted]
>
> Now he rides off down the frozen river. Shortly after, he feels a bit hungry,
> so he pops a frozen chunk in his mouth and starts to suck on it. As the lump
> begins to thaw, Carl thinks "Hmmmm, don't think I've had this flavor before."
>
> Within seconds, of course, the realization dawned that he was sucking on
> a frozen dog turd that he had picked up along with his Powerbar chunks!
>
> Mind you, he never said which tasted better ...
>
> Cheers, Eric Breitenberger
Great story! But never mine which tasted better--which one helped him in
the race???
--Mike
Ginny Wilken
In the skills clinic program which I administer, a colleague and I were
instructing a women's race team some years back. Since we had some
sponsorship from PowerBar, we would use them as objects to be picked up
from the ground while riding by. The riders, of course, would get to keep
them. I announced proudly that they were supplied by PowerBar, and that
we had all three (at the time) flavors. A jaundiced voice piped up:
"Yeah! Redwood, balsa, and mahogany..."
ginny
--
All stunts performed without a net! gin...@netcom.com
Warren Jokinen
> them. I announced proudly that they were supplied by PowerBar, and that
> we had all three (at the time) flavors. A jaundiced voice piped up:
> "Yeah! Redwood, balsa, and mahogany..."
>
> ginny
> --
>
> All stunts performed without a net! gin...@netcom.com
Several new PowerBar flavors were reportedly seen at InterBike. They are:
aspirin
Pedro's
Snickers
oleo-margarine
jalepeno
sweaty-helmet-strap
wet-chamois
Slime
red meat
Red Dog
salt and vinegar
mashed potato(e)
sharp cheddar
Rogaine
Hope this helps. :)
Warren
--
Warren B. Jokinen, war...@waldo.colospgs.co.us
PO Box 17392, Colorado Springs, CO 80935-7392
(719) 637-1479