Joke [rbm specific]

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Just zis Guy, you know?

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Dec 21, 2002, 5:10:09 AM12/21/02
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Fabrizzio was found in tears by Jon before the start of a race.
"What's the problem?" asked Jon.

"Lance has let down one of my tyres" whined the lachrymose but
immaculately attired Fabs.

"No problem," said Jon, "Just pump it up again. I'd do it for you,
but obviously I only have a 60psi pump with a Schraeder adapter."

"But I can't!" wailed the nemesis of Freds everywhere.

"Why not?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"The bastard won't tell me which one!"

Cheers,

Guy
===
** WARNING ** This posting may contain traces of irony.
http://www.chapmancentral.com (BT ADSL and dynamic DNS permitting)
NOTE: BT Openworld have now blocked port 25 (without notice), so old
mail addresses may no longer work. Apologies.

Gary Smiley

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Dec 21, 2002, 7:18:36 PM12/21/02
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Anybody have a picture of this marvelously-attired dude?

Tom Keats

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Dec 21, 2002, 7:48:13 PM12/21/02
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In article <3E0504F4...@attbi.com>,

Gary Smiley <gasm...@attbi.com> writes:
> Anybody have a picture of this marvelously-attired dude?

There actually *are* pix out there.

Let me assure you, Fabrizio is real. And I know he'd blow
my pins off in any hill climb. There is substance behind
his style. He just doesn't talk about substance; he prefers
to talk about style. Let me remind you, sometimes what ppl
don't say is more important than what they do say. And
sometimes, not :-)

Let's just say Fabs is a truly Machiavellian[*] "fox".


cheers,
Tom

[*] (Hey Fabrizio -- that's a compliment. That's just my way
of saying you're a sly contender. I guess we have to resort
to that kind of stuff when we get older.)

--
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Eric S. Sande

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Dec 21, 2002, 8:41:09 PM12/21/02
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>Let's just say Fabs is a truly Machiavellian[*] "fox".

Mayonnaise couldn't spell Machiavelli if he spoke Italian.

--

_______________________ALL AMIGA IN MY MIND_______________________
------------------"Buddy Holly, the Texas Elvis"------------------
__________306.350.357.38>>cwhi...@texastwr.utaustin.edu__________

Tom Keats

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Dec 21, 2002, 10:30:01 PM12/21/02
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In article <3E051835...@erols.com>,

"Eric S. Sande" <esa...@erols.com> writes:
>>Let's just say Fabs is a truly Machiavellian[*] "fox".
>
> Mayonnaise couldn't spell Machiavelli if he spoke Italian.

An elite contender doesn't have to pretend, or put-on being
able to spell a bunch of stupid words, or live up to a
stupid pile of words. All he's gotta do is look good, and
get points, and survive for another season.

That's why I like being a mere transportational rider.
No pressure.

When you challenge the Great Fabs, it's bottom-line.
Don't be a squid.

Or be a squid, and never know what Fabrizio knows.

Miss that passion.

Lose.

Or just enjoy riding bike, and allow the perspective that
Fabrizio lends to it. It makes it all the more noteworthy.
We could say that turns losing into winning, but in a way
that's an euphemism.

I *know* you've got a competitive streak somewhere in you.

So do you. We all do. Fabrizio draws it out of all of us.

Everybody who knee-jerkedly and biliously responds to Fabrizio,
*is* Fabrizio. That's where the Machiavellian-ness comes in.

But the real Fabrizio will clobber you in any contest, while
looking good doing it. I'm almost willing to 100% guarantee it.

Cheers, & good luck,
Tom

Tom Keats

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Dec 21, 2002, 10:42:44 PM12/21/02
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In article <pjb3ua...@bud.garden.local>,
tkeats@NO_SPAM.vcn.bc.ca (Tom Keats) writes:

>
> I *know* you've got a competitive streak somewhere in you.
>
> So do you.

^^^^^^^^^

Oops. I meant, "so do _I_."

cheers,
tom

David Reuteler

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Dec 21, 2002, 11:56:19 PM12/21/02
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that was very zen. i read it, then i re-read it, then i re-re-read it. then
i stopped reading it. then i got it. one of the most insightful posts of the
year! i might even mean that. i think that i do.

i never before realized the depth of fabs. only in such shallowness might one
find the nature of one's soul reflected so truly.
--
david reuteler
reut...@visi.com

Tom Keats

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Dec 22, 2002, 12:51:09 AM12/22/02
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In article <3e0545f3$0$22222$a186...@newsreader.visi.com>,
David Reuteler <reut...@visi.com> writes:

> only in such shallowness might one
> find the nature of one's soul reflected so truly.

How deep is "shallow"? Or vice-verso?

Anyhow, I'm reading "Coming Together", by Brock Tully.
It was given to me as a birthday prezzy a couple of
days ago. Not a bad read. The guy's a non-assuming
un-author, which is refreshing. It's about his bike
tour from Vancouver, through the northern states, down
the east coast, into the depths of Mexico, and back up
into California, back in 1970.


cheers,

David Reuteler

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Dec 22, 2002, 1:55:29 AM12/22/02
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Tom Keats <tkeats@no_spam.vcn.bc.ca> wrote:
: How deep is "shallow"? Or vice-verso?

the more shallow he is the deeper he is. he's like a chinese finger trap:
the more you resist the more you're sucked in.

: Anyhow, I'm reading "Coming Together", by Brock Tully.


: It was given to me as a birthday prezzy a couple of
: days ago. Not a bad read.

you bastard, it's out of print.

i'm a sucker for travel narratives. "where the pavement ends: one woman's
bicycle trip through mongolia, china and vietnam" (erika warmbrunn) has been
my favourite so far. the one by barbara savage ("miles from nowhere") is
allright as well. other than that, they've mostly sucked. nahh. well,
ya. they have. i'd love pointers.

right now i'm reading "route 66 a.d.: on the trail of ancient roman tourists",
basically a guy drags his pregnant wife all over the med trying to recreate
the ancient roman tourist experience. damn funny.
--
david reuteler
reut...@visi.com

Ryan Cousineau

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Dec 22, 2002, 4:33:10 AM12/22/02
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In article <d423ua...@bud.garden.local>,
tkeats@NO_SPAM.vcn.bc.ca (Tom Keats) wrote:

> In article <3E0504F4...@attbi.com>,
> Gary Smiley <gasm...@attbi.com> writes:
> > Anybody have a picture of this marvelously-attired dude?
>
> There actually *are* pix out there.
>
> Let me assure you, Fabrizio is real. And I know he'd blow
> my pins off in any hill climb. There is substance behind
> his style. He just doesn't talk about substance; he prefers
> to talk about style. Let me remind you, sometimes what ppl
> don't say is more important than what they do say. And
> sometimes, not :-)

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication above,
expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful
authors are numbered among the readers of r.b.m:

Gary, your friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism
of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that
nothing can be which is not written up in VeloNews. All minds, Gary,
wheter they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of
ours Category V is a mere insect, an ant, in its cycling, as compared
with the boundless world about it, as measured by the riding skills
capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Gary, there is a Fabrizio Mazzoleni. He exists as certainly as love
and Shimano and brifteurs exist, and you know that they abound and give
to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would the
world be if there were no Fabrizio Mazzoleni! It would be as dreary as
if there were no Garys. There would be no Category V-like faith then, no
poetry, no Sunday rides to make tolerable this existence. We should have
no cycling, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which
cycling style fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Fabrizio Mazzoleni! You might as well not believe in
hill-climbing wheels! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in
all the bicycle races on the first day of Spring to catch Fabrizio, but
even if you did not see Fabrizio Mazzoleni breaking away, what would
that prove? Nobody sees Fabrizio, but that is no sign that there is no
Fabrizio. The most real things in the world are those that neither
children nor men can see. Did you ever see the performance difference
ten grams makes? Of course not, but that's no proof that it is not
there. Nobody can coceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen
and unseeable in cycling.

You tear apart a bicycle pump and see what makes the air come out, but
there is a veil covering the cycling world which not Jobst Brandt, nor
even the united brains of all the mechanical engineers that ever lived,
could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, intervals, style, weight-fixation,
can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal riding and
racing beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is
nothing else real and abiding, excepting steel.

No Fabrizio Mazzoleni! Thank God! He rides, and rides forever. A
thousand crits from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand Tours
from now, he will continue to make style the heart of cycling.

--
Ryan Cousineau, rcou...@sfu.cat (trim trailing t), www.sfu.ca/~rcousine
FREE WINONA!

Karen M.

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Dec 22, 2002, 11:42:43 AM12/22/02
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Ryan wrote:
<snip brilliant parody of "yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus">

Author! Author! You da man!!
--Karen M.

Ryan Cousineau

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Dec 22, 2002, 1:54:53 PM12/22/02
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In article <4bfcf85b.02122...@posting.google.com>,
kmss...@earthlink.net (Karen M.) wrote:

Thank you. It practically wrote itself. And Fabrizio, if you're out
there, I'd like a full Dura-Ace gruppo for Christmas. Even 53x11 is okay.

-RjC.

David Reuteler

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Dec 22, 2002, 2:30:32 PM12/22/02
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aiiyy, ryan, we should have no problem seeing him now if not just for the
size of his head.
--
david reuteler
reut...@visi.com

Gary Smiley

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Dec 23, 2002, 12:00:52 AM12/23/02
to
Thanks, man - you put a lot of thought into it. If a picture is worth a
thousand words, well, your post is as close as anyone has come to providing
me a picture of this guy. (Nobody else has.)
Anyway, here's a picture of me, for what it's worth:
http://home.attbi.com/~gasmiley/images/gary.jpg
Merry Christmas.

David Reuteler

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Dec 23, 2002, 12:32:30 AM12/23/02
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Gary Smiley <gasm...@attbi.com> wrote:
: http://home.attbi.com/~gasmiley/images/gary.jpg

i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that fabs wouldn't have che guevera on
his jersey. intentionally anyway. fabs probably fabs doesn't know who che
guevera is.

groovy panaramas, tho.
--
david reuteler
reut...@visi.com

Leonard Migliore

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Dec 23, 2002, 12:32:42 AM12/23/02
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In article <rcousine-6B711E...@morgoth.sfu.ca>, Ryan
Cousineau <rcou...@sfu.cat> wrote:

This has the purity and power of a line drive over the right field wall
into McCovey Cove.... better than the original, even with the Conan
reference.

Ryan Cousineau

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Dec 23, 2002, 2:32:52 AM12/23/02
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In article <3e069fee$0$4465$a186...@newsreader.visi.com>,
David Reuteler <reut...@visi.com> wrote:

> Gary Smiley <gasm...@attbi.com> wrote:
> : http://home.attbi.com/~gasmiley/images/gary.jpg
>
> i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that fabs wouldn't have che guevera on
> his jersey. intentionally anyway. fabs probably fabs doesn't know who che
> guevera is.
>
> groovy panaramas, tho.

Well, Che has no palmares, and his Tour de Bolivia was a devastating
failure to come back late in his career.

Personally, while I can understand why any cyclist would believe in
Fabrizio Mazzoleni, I can't understand why anyone would believe in Che
Guevara.

Put your faith in Freidrich Hayek,

David Reuteler

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Dec 23, 2002, 3:12:49 AM12/23/02
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Ryan Cousineau <rcou...@sfu.cat> wrote:
: Put your faith in Freidrich Hayek,

i'm thinking fabs would be more likely to put his faith in salma hayek.
--
david reuteler
reut...@visi.com

Gary Smiley

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Dec 23, 2002, 10:54:21 PM12/23/02
to
Not that I believe in Che Guevara, but I thought it was a pretty cool jersey
(although Fabs wouldn't think so, since it's not a team jersey).
I'll bet Che, if he were alive today, would be more likely to be riding a bike
than an SUV, and would have been favoring the cause of cyclists over the auto,
steel, and oil industries.

Ryan Cousineau wrote:

> IPersonally, while I can understand why any cyclist would believe in

Ryan Cousineau

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Dec 24, 2002, 12:30:21 AM12/24/02
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In article <3E07DA88...@attbi.com>,
Gary Smiley <gasm...@attbi.com> wrote:


> Ryan Cousineau wrote:
>
> > IPersonally, while I can understand why any cyclist would believe in
> > Fabrizio Mazzoleni, I can't understand why anyone would believe in Che
> > Guevara.

> Not that I believe in Che Guevara, but I thought it was a pretty cool jersey
> (although Fabs wouldn't think so, since it's not a team jersey).
> I'll bet Che, if he were alive today, would be more likely to be riding a
> bike
> than an SUV, and would have been favoring the cause of cyclists over the
> auto,
> steel, and oil industries.

Well, I think the key in this situation is to ask yourself, What Would
Fabrizio Do?

Edward Dike, III

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Dec 24, 2002, 5:21:39 AM12/24/02
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Gary Smiley <gasm...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:3E07DA88...@attbi.com...


If Che were around he would have nationalized any and all industry he
could, so the petro-chemical industry, albeit at 15-20 % of capacity, would
be his.
Sorta like Clinton and the US Military.

And riding a bike would be a good thing for you; ...he'd be in a limo.
ED3


Brian Huntley

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Dec 24, 2002, 9:48:28 AM12/24/02
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"Edward Dike, III" <edd3remov...@qwestion.net> wrote in message news:<UwWN9.1$fy....@news.uswest.net>...

> If Che were around he would have nationalized any and all industry he
> could, so the petro-chemical industry, albeit at 15-20 % of capacity, would
> be his.
> Sorta like Clinton and the US Military.

Bill Clinton nationalized the US Military? Good thing - it was in
private hands for far too long.

- Brian "since '91" Huntley

Mike Latondresse

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Dec 24, 2002, 1:35:01 PM12/24/02
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Gary Smiley <gasm...@attbi.com> wrote in
news:3E07DA88...@attbi.com:

> Not that I believe in Che Guevara, but I thought it was a pretty
> cool jersey (although Fabs wouldn't think so, since it's not a
> team jersey). I'll bet Che, if he were alive today, would be more

> likely to be riding a bike than an SUV.....

If he were living in Cuba you bet your ass he would be riding a
bike, and not necessarily by choice.

Patrick Lamb

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Dec 26, 2002, 9:04:33 PM12/26/02
to
On 24 Dec 2002 06:48:28 -0800, brian_...@hotmail.com (Brian

Huntley) wrote:
>
>Bill Clinton nationalized the US Military? Good thing - it was in
>private hands for far too long.

It's still in private hands, if you look at where the budget's going.

Pat

Tom Keats

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Dec 27, 2002, 5:21:04 AM12/27/02
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In article <3e0561e1$0$4483$a186...@newsreader.visi.com>,

David Reuteler <reut...@visi.com> writes:
> Tom Keats <tkeats@no_spam.vcn.bc.ca> wrote:
>: How deep is "shallow"? Or vice-verso?
>
> the more shallow he is the deeper he is. he's like a chinese finger trap:
> the more you resist the more you're sucked in.
>
>: Anyhow, I'm reading "Coming Together", by Brock Tully.
>: It was given to me as a birthday prezzy a couple of
>: days ago. Not a bad read.
>
> you bastard, it's out of print.

The guy's got a web site. A google on "brock tully" will
turn him up, and I believe he'd be happy to take your order.
His book is self-printed.

> i'm a sucker for travel narratives.

I hear ya. Back in the 70's my ol' buddy Bill The Hippy
regaled me with tales of his world tour -- scabies in the
Philipines, running into the same people in different
countries ...

One of my favourites was Afghanistan. He was walking along
a road, and his hat blew off and landed in the ditch. Grey
clay. It looked like a firm footing, so he stepped down to
retrieve his hat -- only to sink waist-high in stinking
ditch water. The clay was just a thin crust. A few Afghanis
stood by the roadside and watched, and laughed their heads off.
They finally fished poor ol' Bill out of the ditch. Then he
befriended with them, and stood around with them, and he got
to see exactly the same thing happen to the next tourist who
happened along.


"where the pavement ends: one woman's
> bicycle trip through mongolia, china and vietnam" (erika warmbrunn) has been
> my favourite so far. the one by barbara savage ("miles from nowhere") is
> allright as well. other than that, they've mostly sucked. nahh. well,
> ya. they have. i'd love pointers.

The women's perspective is so ... balancing, and apropos. We hardly
ever get that in TV travelogues. What a rip-off.

>
> right now i'm reading "route 66 a.d.: on the trail of ancient roman tourists",
> basically a guy drags his pregnant wife all over the med trying to recreate
> the ancient roman tourist experience. damn funny.

Sounds good; I'll look for it.

There's this movie called Mediterranao. It's about a bunch of
reluctant Italian WWII draftees sent to occupy a Greek island.
They reach this Aegian paradise, and become co-opted and absorbed
into the local culture. Kinda like Teahouse of the August Moon.
One of the best parts is when a Turkish hash dealer shows up, and
smokes them all up. They're all zonked, sleeping on the beach or
where-ever. The Turk leaves them with a whole bunch of hash and
chillums to smoke it with, and sneaks away in the middle of the
night with all their rifles. Next morning, they sorta discover
their rifles are missing and they don't care. Guns are just so
much baggage. Hash is good, though. A fair trade.

Then there's the storyline with the local Puta, which turns into
a nice, bitter-sweet-ending romance, without getting too corny.

Maybe you've already seen it. I hope so, 'cause it is so
poignantly hilarious.

But yeah, I'll definitely look for that Route 66 AD.
It kinda sounds right up my alley, and I'm intrigued.

Spoking

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Jan 25, 2003, 11:27:09 AM1/25/03
to
Gary Smiley posted...
From what I know of him, Che was a most un-Ghandi-like man. I don't think
he would be pro-cyclist. He just wanted cars for his own. More like Mao,
or Mussolini.

I'll take the Ghandi model. Haven't read Hayek. Read a bunch of other
economists, but not Hayek. I really like the more recent offerings
available in micro theory. Post-games-theory work. Some really amazing
conclusions can be drawn on behavior.


--
Spoking
<^>
_|_

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