Mound-Plunging: Was:Re: Abortion is Murder,
Ted Azito
flies serenely over at FL 700. Oftentimes, I reflect on what it would
be like to be a fundie gullibard from that misbegotten town.
One time a friend of mine worked on a Suicide Hotline. A guy called
up from Dubuque, which is probably even worse than Des Moines. He said
that he was going to get in a purloined ultralight or Cessna or
Cherokee and fly over a major league ball stadium, during the Seventh
Inning Stretch, and hurl himself out of the aircraft naked at a
reasonable altitude. He would then reach terminal velocity and slam,
hopefully, into the pitcher's mound, exploding in a burst of guts and
blood and gore, in front of a presumably aghast sellout crowd.
Consternation! Consternation! he shouted on the phone.
In an attempt to keep him talking until his line could be traced and
the van with burly, white-coated, net-wielding psych workers
dispatched, she asked him when he planned to commit this deed.
He quoted a date that was, then, nearly ten years in the future.
This presented a quandary; could, in fact, they lock up a guy for
threatening suicide ten years hence? The dilemma was mooted when he
hung up, but that call never ceases to amaze me as I listen to it on
tape. Apparentlly he never called back in, and as far as I know no
Major League Baseball game has been interrupted by aerial
mound-divers. However, I await the date with anticipation to see if he
really will commit the deed, if he will succeed and to what degree (he
could easily wind up in the bleachers or impaled on the bullpen fence)
and at what ballpark.
GOOD RIDDANCE on Nov. 2nd to Dishonest Warmonger-in-Thief G.W. Bush!
Ted Azito <larbo...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Des Moines, IA is best viewed from the panel periscope of a U-2
> as one flies serenely over at FL 700. Oftentimes, I reflect on what it
> would be like to be a fundie gullibard from that misbegotten town.
Uh... we Iowans have a tiny minority of RRR cult fundies, just
like all the *other* states that voted for GORE in the 2000 election.
Ours is a civilizd and modern state.
> One time a friend of mine worked on a Suicide Hotline. A guy called
> up from Dubuque, which is probably even worse than Des Moines. He
> said that he was going to get in a purloined ultralight or Cessna or
> Cherokee and fly over a major league ball stadium, during the Seventh
> Inning Stretch, and hurl himself out of the aircraft naked at a
> reasonable altitude. He would then reach terminal velocity and slam,
> hopefully, into the pitcher's mound, exploding in a burst of guts and
> blood and gore, in front of a presumably aghast sellout crowd.
>
> Consternation! Consternation! he shouted on the phone.
>
> In an attempt to keep him talking until his line could be traced and
> the van with burly, white-coated, net-wielding psych workers
> dispatched, she asked him when he planned to commit this deed.
>
> He quoted a date that was, then, nearly ten years in the future.
When?
> This presented a quandary; could, in fact, they lock up a guy for
> threatening suicide ten years hence? The dilemma was mooted when
> he hung up, but that call never ceases to amaze me as I listen to it on
> tape. Apparentlly he never called back in, and as far as I know no
> Major League Baseball game has been interrupted by aerial
> mound-divers. However, I await the date with anticipation to see if he
> really will commit the deed, if he will succeed and to what degree (he
> could easily wind up in the bleachers or impaled on the bullpen fence)
> and at what ballpark.
And the DATE is question is WHEN?
Just curious, since I literally just happen to live midway
between Dubuque and Des Moines...
-- Craig Chilton <xana...@mchsi.com>
(REAL name and e-mail address, lest any bigot wrongly
think I'm hiding behind an a alias. The "alias," above,
is designed to be a visible MESSAGE, each time I post.)
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INSIGHT on our Warmonger-in-Thief ---
http://homepage.mac.com/webmasterkai/kaicurry/gwbush/dishonestdubya.html
AND...
http://www.blackboxvoting.com/
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ALSO worth a look:
http://anon.newmediamill.speedera.net/anon.newmediamill/pledge_acc/index.html
And... here's what happens to people like you & me:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/05/21/antiwar.soldier.ap/index.html
However, the same rules don't apply to the "Elite:"
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