A deeper question about flying
Crelox
I am a recently minted PP-ASEL. I live alone away from my family, and
am moving back near home soon. I am 30 years old, and have been open
and honest with my immediate family about flying and my experiences
(i.e. mom and dad). They have been good parents to me and have remained
neutral at my flying experience. I love to fly, and feel no guilt for
pursuing this dream...but there are extenuating circumstances, and I'd
like to get your feelings on this.
About 10 years ago, my Father's best friend was killed in a single
engine crash in the northern lower peninsula of MI. I don't think there
was ever a time when I've seen my dad weep as such. I started my flying
here secretly, an slowly brought my folks into it, knowing the memory of
it all might be harsh on them. Additionally, my family's next closest
friends had their father and mother both suffer disfiguring injuries in
a crash in michigan during an in-cockpit fire. This left one in a
wheelchair, and another gave up flight.
I am moving home and plan to begin my instrument training post haste. I
am logging VFR time now. I know what I will do; I will fly. I must
fly. But I am asking for any advice on how to deal with theis potential
situation. Any similar experiences? I assure my parents that I am
aware of past history and strive to avoid that. I am a conscienscious
pilot and respect the air. We have talked of this. But they remain
afraid for their son. Perhaps this is a defining moment and I should be
rigid here. I am my own man, and will make decisions on what is right.
I feel safe. I just don;t know what else to say. I love them, and
can't find all the words.
They will support me, but always worry. I hate placing that on them.
But I love this so much. I guess I am simply asking a human question
here with no right or wrong answers. Your words are appreciated.
Anything els that I can add; don't be afraid to ask. Thanks.
Dan Luke
> ...I know what I will do; I will fly. I must
> fly. But I am asking for any advice on how to deal with theis
potential
> situation. Any similar experiences? I assure my parents that I am
> aware of past history and strive to avoid that. I am a conscienscious
> pilot and respect the air. We have talked of this. But they remain
> afraid for their son.
You said you must fly; that pretty much settles it. Your parents will
have to live with the anxiety. That is the lot of parents. Someday, if
you have children, you will learn the true meaning of "payback".
--
Dan
N9387D at BFM
Jefro
things. Accept the support they can give, understand when they can't. Be
honest with them. The only other thing I could suggest would be family
counseling.
I can tell you flat out that I don't have even a fourth of the relationship
with either of my folks that it sounds like you have with yours---be very
thankful.
Mark Blackwell
hear it send me an email.
--
Mark
"Crelox" <nos...@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.17461ac56...@netnews.mchsi.com...
Dudley Henriques
As a professional demonstration pilot doing low altitude aerobatic flying, I
had a similar situation involving my wife and family. She watched as one by
one, our close friends who were also involved in this highly specialized
community were killed in crashes. She never complained, but I knew how
fearful she was for my safety. I thought about how best to deal with it for
a very long time. Finally, I realized that the answer lay in convincing her
I was good enough to avoid the mistakes that had killed many of the pilots
we knew. Strangely enough, only a very few of the crashes were attributable
to something the pilot couldn't have avoided, either by proximity, or by a
different decision. Once she realized this, and came to understand how
seriously and professionally I approached what I was doing, her fear turned
into a solid rationale.
Perhaps in your case you can research the two crashes, and project that into
building a confidence within your parents, that your personal approach to
flying would prevent you from becoming involved in the circumstances that
caused these crashes to occur....be it pilot error......weather.....or any
other factor under your personal control.
The very best of luck to you,
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/Certificated Flight Instructor
Retired
Rodney Tomlinson
buying a C172. One of his buddies (a newly minted pilot) sparked his
interest in aviation. Dad's first lesson was scheduled. Then, his buddy
did the whole VFR into IMC thing and luckily survived. He never flew again
and neither did Dad. So you can imagine his reaction when I announced I was
going to take lessons.
He got over it and accepted the idea when I started to share aviation with
him. He now loves it.
Share aviation with your family.
My .2
Rodney
PP-ASEL
"Crelox" <nos...@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.17461ac56...@netnews.mchsi.com...
Peter R.
> I am a conscienscious
> pilot and respect the air. We have talked of this. But they remain
> afraid for their son.
I don't have any pratical advice other than to say that a long life
filled with "if only I did this" is less of a life than a shorter
one filled with "if only I had more time for this."
Good luck to you and may you and your parents someday resolve this
issue.
--
Peter R.
(omit 'x' to reply)
Jim Fisher
perhaps they still have lingering questions about why their friend died.
Perhaps you may care to look up the accident in the NTSB database, post a
link to it here, then get some of our collective thoughts about why the
accident(s) happened. At least you'll be able to talk intelligently about
the accident and, perhaps, quell some lingering fears your parents may have.
Maybe even put some things to rest for them.
Just a thought. Perhaps not even a good one but you asked. ;)
--
Jim Fisher
Cherokee 180
www.EAAChapter615.org
Max T, CFI
have to fear it. I just taught a student today who's going for her checkride in 2 weeks, and she
said that she's asked lots of people if they'll fly with her when she gets her license,
and she said most of them said no. Many people don't share our passion for flight, and
many of our loved ones fear for our safety. I think those that truly love us don't want to
us to give up what we love just to soothe their fears. Adopt a passion for safety, a keen interest
in accident reports, and set some personal minimums. Fly often enough to stay proficient, attend safety seminars
and get periodic training. And let your parents know that you're pursuing your passion with
discipline and reason. I think all parents want to protect their kids as much as possible, but in the
end we accept that they have to go out into the world, and that we can't protect them from everything.
Enjoy your flying!
Max T, CFI
Crelox <nos...@nowhere.com> wrote in message news:MPG.17461ac56...@netnews.mchsi.com...
Gene Whitt
On my web site under statistics I have an over thirty
year accumulation of information related to the safety
or accident statistics of aviation. Unfortunately,
the concerns of both flyers and nonflyers are not based
upon facts but on a perception with an emotional basis.
Take a look. By being selective you can prove by 'fact'
most anything about flying. For example, I can 'prove' that
since I began flying there has been an improvement in
aviation safety every year.
Gene Whitt
TheMarshMan1
It sounds like you're doing everything as senstively as you can. I've
never really been in a situation quite like that so I'm not much of an
expert on this, but I would say just keep at it. Maybe it would help
just to keep at it quietly without talking a lot about it.
I started flying when I was 15- and to be completely honest my parents
have been 110% supportive. Five years, a bunch of certificates and
ratings, and a few hundred hours later, they still support me just as
much. They know that I'm in this for life. I feel that I am extremely
lucky to have such supportive parents, and I'm very grateful.
On the other hand....when I started skydiving, they weren't so
supportive (but that didn't stop me). That's a whole 'nother story...
:-b
http://www.v1rotate.com
View this thread: http://www.v1rotate.com/portal/forums/showthread.php?threadid=11187
Doug
sibling), and get them on your side. Then have her or him mention at the
dinner table how she thinks it's a great idea you are following your
dream.Then tell everyone that you feel so fortunate to have found your dream
of flying and hope that everyone understands that you have to follow your
dreams.
Also mention frequently that you are taking classes not just on flying but
"safety in aviation" and "how to be a safe pilot" etc so they know you are
doing everything you can to be safe.
Eventually everyone will accept what you do for a living, and the past will
equate it with who you are, and what you want to be.
Good luck!
Tim
Crelox wrote:
> Ok,
>
> I am a recently minted PP-ASEL. I live alone away from my family, and
> am moving back near home soon. I am 30 years old, and have been open
> and honest with my immediate family about flying and my experiences
> (i.e. mom and dad). They have been good parents to me and have remained
> neutral at my flying experience. I love to fly, and feel no guilt for
> pursuing this dream...
It sounds like you are feeling guilt. Screw guilt. Guilt is something put
on people by other people to suit their needs. For the most part, if it
gives you pleasure, do it.
> but there are extenuating circumstances, and I'd
> like to get your feelings on this.
>
> About 10 years ago, my Father's best friend was killed in a single
> engine crash in the northern lower peninsula of MI. I don't think there
> was ever a time when I've seen my dad weep as such. I started my flying
> here secretly, an slowly brought my folks into it, knowing the memory of
> it all might be harsh on them. Additionally, my family's next closest
> friends had their father and mother both suffer disfiguring injuries in
> a crash in michigan during an in-cockpit fire. This left one in a
> wheelchair, and another gave up flight.
Everyone dies sooner or later,I didn't make that up, it's the harsh truth.
So you might as well find something you like to do (sounds like you have)
and do it without the previously mentioned guilt.
>
>
> I am moving home and plan to begin my instrument training post haste. I
> am logging VFR time now. I know what I will do; I will fly. I must
> fly. But I am asking for any advice on how to deal with theis potential
> situation. Any similar experiences? I assure my parents that I am
> aware of past history and strive to avoid that. I am a conscienscious
> pilot and respect the air. We have talked of this. But they remain
> afraid for their son.
that's normal parent worry
> Perhaps this is a defining moment and I should be
> rigid here. I am my own man, and will make decisions on what is right.
> I feel safe. I just don;t know what else to say. I love them, and
> can't find all the words.
>
> They will support me, but always worry. I hate placing that on them.
that's guilt.
>
> But I love this so much. I guess I am simply asking a human question
> here with no right or wrong answers. Your words are appreciated.
> Anything els that I can add; don't be afraid to ask. Thanks.
Short answer is...Fly!
tim
student pilot with 1 puny hour logged.