Quotes from Dr. Strangelove
Andrew Tron
opportunity to compile the following list of quotes. If you have
any corrections or additions please drop me a line. Otherwise, enjoy!
The Unofficial Dr. Strangelove Quotes file
Cast of Characters & Props
--------------------------
Gen. Jack T. Ripper -- Commander, Burbleson Air Force Base
Maj. Kong -- B-52 pilot, based at Burbleson AFB
Group Cpt. Lionel Mandrake -- Ripper's X/O, on exchange from the RAF
Gen. Buck Turgidson -- Pentagon-based Strategic Air Command general
Murkin Muffley -- President of the United States
Dimitri Kissoff -- Premier of the Soviet Union
Dr. Strangelove/Merkverktikliebe -- weapons lab director, German expatriate
Col. Bat Guano -- leader of assault team attacking Burbleson AFB
BLAND Corp. -- Weapons policy think tank
Soviet Ambassador to United States -- unnamed
"World Targets in Megadeaths" -- Gen. Turgidson's report
"Nuclear Warhead Handle With Care"
"Dear John"
"Hi There!" -- messages painted on The Bombs
Gen. Jack T. Ripper
-------------------
"Please make me a drink of grain alcohol and rainwater and help yourself
to whatever you'd like." -- to Mandrake
"I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist
indoctrination, communist subversion and the international communist
conspiracy to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids." -- to Mandrake
"God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear and in true
health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids." -- to SAC
"Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?"
"As human beings, you and I need fresh, pure water to replenish our precious
bodily fluids." -- to Mandrake
"Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and
dangerous communist plot we've ever had to face?" -- to Mandrake
"Foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the
knowledge of the the individual. Certainly without any consent. That's
how your hard-core Commie operates." -- to Mandrake
"Well, I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily
I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can
assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women seek my power and they
seek the live essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them
my essence." -- describing how he discovered the conspiracy.
Maj. Kong
---------
"Well, I've been to one World Fair, a picnic and and a rodeo and that's the
stupidest thing I've heard come over a set of earphones." -- to radio operator
"Well, boys I reckon this is it. Nucular combat, toe-to-toe with the
Russkies ... Look boys, I ain't much of a hand at making speeches, but I got
a pretty fair idea that something dog-gone important's going on back there.
Now I got a fair idea the kind of personal emotions that some of you fellas
may be thinking. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't be human beings if you didn't
have any strong feelings about nuclear combat. But I want you to remember
one thing -- that folks back home are counting on you ... Now let's get
this thing on the hump -- we've got some flying to do!" -- to his crew.
"Survival kit contents check, in them you'll find: 1 .45 caliber automatic,
2 boxes of ammunition, 4 concentrated emergency rations, 1 drug issue
containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills,
tranquilizer pills, 1 miniature combination Rooshian phrase book and Bible,
$100 in rubles, $100 in gold, 9 packs of chewing gum, 1 issue of
prophylactics, 3 lipsticks, 3 pairs of nylon stockings -- shoot, a fella
could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all this stuff." -- to his
crew
"If we's flying any lower we'd need sleigh bells on this thing. They may
harpoon us, but they sure as heck won't pick us up on their radar." -- to
his crew.
Group Cpt. Lionel Mandrake
--------------------------
"We don't want to start a nuclear war unless we really have to, do we?" --
to Ripper.
"Shoot it off! Shoot! With a gun! That's what the bullets are for, you
twit!" -- to Bat Guano.
Gen. Buck Turgidson
-------------------
"I thought I might just mosey over to the War Room for a few minutes, see
what I might to there." -- [verbally] blowing off his secretary
"You just start your countdown and ol' Buckie will be back here before you
can say `Blast Off!!'" -- to his secretary
"I admit the human element seems to have failed us here" -- to the President
"Well, I don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of
a single slip-up" -- commenting on the psychological screening process
to the President.
"Well baby, I can't talk to you now, my President needs me." -- to his
secretary.
"Mr President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed, but I do say
no more than 10-20 million killed, tops, depending on the breaks."
"Gee, I wish we had one of them Doomsday Machines" -- to his aide.
"If the pilot's good, if he's really sharp, he can barrel that plane
REAL LOW ..." -- to the President
"Mr President, we must not allow a mine shaft gap!"
President Murkin Muffley
------------------------
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here -- this is the War Room!" -- to Turgidson
and the Soviet Ambassador.
"You know how we've always talked about the possibility of someting going
wrong with the Bomb. The Bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb."
"He went and did a silly thing ... Well, he ordered his planes to attack
your country" -- to Kissoff.
"Dimitri, I'm sorry they're jamming your radar and flying so low but they're
trained to do it. You know, it's initiative."
Dr. Strangelove
---------------
"But the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost if you keep it a secret!"
-- to the Soviet Ambassador
"It would not be diffucult, Mein Fuhrer ... I'm sorry, Mr. President"
"Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!"
Col. Bat Guano
--------------
"I think you're some kind of deviated preevert. I think General Ripper
found out about your preeversions and that you were organizing some
sort of mutiny of preeverts." -- to Mandrake
"Ok, I'm going to get your money for you. But if you don't get the
President of the United States on that phone, you know what's going to
happen to you? ... You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company."
-- to Mandrake.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andrew Tron at Princeton University | awt...@strawber.Princeton.EDU
And of the living ... none, not one who truly loves the sky
Would trade a hundred earth bound hours for one that he could fly.
Dan Sorenson
>Turgidson to the President:
>"Mr. President, we must decide between two admittedly regrettable, but
>nevertheless distinguishable, post war environments"
>
>The rest is between xx and xx million dead, or yy and yy million dead
>where yy >> xx
Let's see if memory serves today... "One where we have fifteen
million people killed, and the other where we have a hundred and
fifty million people killed."
I loved that movie. Story time: One great line is from
Major Kong (Slim Pickens) when he says, "Stay on the bomb run, Ace.
I'm going to get those bomb bay doors open if it hare-lips everyone
on Bear Creek." So naturally, I'm driving to Ft. Bragg and happen
to see a sign for Bear Creek, NC and just *had* to check. Well, I
didn't see any hare-lips but the town couldn't have been more than
500 people, if that. No creek, either, come to think of it.
In fact, this movie has a certain special significance for
me. When I first asked April out some three years ago, I suggested
we watch a movie and meet in front of the library. At the appointed
time we met. I wore jeans and a T-shirt, while she had spent hours
selecting the proper attire, hairstyle, etc... Suitably impressed
with my appearance, I led her into the library and to the media room,
where we put on headphones, sat together in a cubicle, and watched
the library videotape of this movie.
I figured any woman who will put up with this will put up
with me forever. I've not been disappointed, and neither has she
that I'm aware of. Conclusion: Dr. Strangelove will get women. ;-)
"The Mouse that Roared" was the second feature, but by that
time April was, I believe, resigned to her fate.
--
* Dan Sorenson, DoD 1066 vik...@iastate.edu z1...@exnet.iastate.edu *
* Vikings? There ain't no vikings here. Just us honest farmers. *
* The town was burning, the villagers were dead. They didn't need *
* those sheep anyway. That's our story and we're sticking to it. *
Duane P Mantick
>Here's one:
>it's not exact though, but I'll try
>Turgidson to the President:
>"Mr. President, we must decide between two admittedly regrettable, but
>nevertheless distinguishable, post war environments"
>
>The rest is between xx and xx million dead, or yy and yy million dead
>where yy >> xx
>I love the way that line is said! A great movie -- an all-tim classic.
Absolutely! The black humor, irony and satire is marvelous.
My favorite line? Something to the effect of:
"You'll have to answer to the Coca-Cola company!"
(when the american infantryman, a sergeant I think, shoots the coke machine
to get change so that the British fellow can use the pay phone to call
the white house......or something like that.)
Duane
Zachary S. Delproposto
it's not exact though, but I'll try
Turgidson to the President:
"Mr. President, we must decide between two admittedly regrettable, but
nevertheless distinguishable, post war environments"
The rest is between xx and xx million dead, or yy and yy million dead
where yy >> xx
I love the way that line is said! A great movie -- an all-tim classic.
Zach
Robear
Duane P Mantick <wb9...@puritan.ecn.purdue.edu> wrote:
>
> Absolutely! The black humor, irony and satire is marvelous.
>My favorite line? Something to the effect of:
>"You'll have to answer to the Coca-Cola company!"
>
>(when the american infantryman, a sergeant I think, shoots the coke machine
>to get change so that the British fellow can use the pay phone to call
>the white house......or something like that.)
>
Mandrake about whether he has any coins for the phone. Guano tells him to
put his hands up to prevent any "Commie preversions" and allows as to how
no true infantryman goes into battle with coins in his pockets. But he is
convinced to shoot up the nearby Coke machine, with the warning that
"...But if this is one of your Commie preversions, you'll have to answer
to the Coca Cola Company!"
I think the most famous line in the movie is when the President stops
Turgidson from attacking the Russian ambassador - at the time there was
no differentiation of Russian and Soviet, was there? - by shouting
"You can't fight in here - this is the WAR ROOM!"
David Pipes