SECRET DIARY of Jacques Villeneuve - France
Christine Johnston
Its my anniversary. One year blonde today. But nobody has
remembered. They are all talking about HHF's Viagra joke. It wasn't
even a good joke. I got to get me one of them jokes.
For sure free practice went the way it usually does at Magny Cours.
Boring day, nobody in the stands and I spin off. As the mechanics work
on repairing my car I try out the joke I had been pondering in the
comfort of my monocoque.
"3 men walk into a bar and ask for Viagra....." I started.
"Heard it" they muttered without looking up.
I left them to it and wandered back to the motorhome. Magny Cours is so
boring its ideal for bickering but Michael doesn't want to have a fight
with me. I tried several times in some very well known newspapers too
but he only wants to seem to fight with Damon and won't let me join the
party. I got to the motorhome and HHF was inside reading the newspaper
coverage of his Viagra joke. As the motorhome is narrow I managed to
accidentally bump into his bruises several times and for sure that made
me happy.
Saturday 27 June
Frank was already in the garage when I arrived so I decided
to try out the joke on him that I had been working on most of the night.
Just as I was getting to my well thought out punch line Frank muttered
"I bet that nice Montoya chap doesn't need Viagra". Frank spoils all my
jokes.
I spotted Patrick looking over some telemetry. I launched into my joke,
and timed the punchline to perfection. ".... and the funny thing was,
the zebra was born dead!"
Patrick paused for a second. "Is this Viagra the stuff that Ferrari are
allegedly putting in their fuel tanks?"
There was nothing left to do but to try and qualify my super-revised car
into its usual slot on the grid. For sure the Benettons sucking made
life easier and I happily slotted in behind the McLarens and Ferraris.
HHF was a whole 2 Jordans behind me but nobody in the garage seemed to
mind. Typical. I work hard at my image and get criticised for
everything but HHF has only to have a few bruises and tell a joke and
nothing is said. I'm really just not appreciated in this team.
Sunday 28 June
I contemplated my prospects for a podium prior to the race.
I thought there was a good chance that at least 2 of the Ferraris and
McLarens would have a coming together and at last I would see a podium
this year. As race strategies go it was not perhaps the most
sophisticated but I figured it was just as good as Ferrari's 'please let
the McLarens have a bad start'.
Ferrari got their bad start from McLaren but unfortunately they only
messed up one refueling and denied me my podium spot. The Jordans had
been pressuring my super revised car at the beginning and I was just
thinking of getting on the radio to complain to Patrick when they both
disappeared from view and I was left on my own till the end of the race.
After the race I slapped HHF on the back and watched him wince as I
congratulated him on running into the back of another car. I then took
my 3 points and went off to see Craig. I knew Craig would appreciate my
jokes.
"A man walks into a Chemists and asks for a bottle of aspirin and a
bottle of Viagra but the chemist says that he has run out of Viagra and
can only give him the aspirin and the man replies 'that's ok I've got my
bike outside'".
Craig fell around the place laughing for five minutes and clutched his
sides. He then told me how good my hair was looking lately, how I did
such a fine drive today and offered to buy me dinner. You know, I
definitely feel I would be more appreciated if I went to BAR next year -
they understand me so much better.
_______________________________
Come! Visit the Archive! Hang out with Alan!
http://www.mbyrne.dircon.co.uk/
Bob Helland
keep getting better. For sure.
Thanks again,
Bob
Christine Johnston wrote in message
<199807081...@th-eng10-055.pool.dircon.co.uk>...
>Friday 26 June
>Its my anniversary. One year blonde today.
(Hilarity snipped)
Miles Constable
[snip]
> "A man walks into a Chemists [snip]
^^^^^^^^
Curious... I'm wondering where Jacques picked up that term. It isn't
common in Canada (and I doubt it would be amongst Quebecers). Must have
picked it up in Monaco, during his days at the Swiss boarding school, or
from hanging with Damon and the boys down in the garage...
:)
Miles
[or perhaps CJ had a little faux pas... :)]
Mr. Hot Pants
>
> How do you do it Ms. Johnston? Race after Race after Race and they just
> keep getting better. For sure.
YESSSSSSSSSSS!
> Thanks again,
>
> Bob
>
> Christine Johnston wrote in message
> <199807081...@th-eng10-055.pool.dircon.co.uk>...
> >Friday 26 June
> >Its my anniversary. One year blonde today.
>
> (Hilarity snipped)
Mr. Hot Pants
Christine Johnston
> [or perhaps CJ had a little faux pas... :)]
I don't know if he switches it on when he goes back 'home' but his vocab
is most definitely european. He was on the tv a few weeks back saying
'oh bugger' and it gave *me* a little giggle as I put him in a diary
once saying 'bugger' and I got all these e-mails from .ca explaining how
good Canadians don't say this.....
Alan M
Johnston) wrote:
<snip another achingly riotous 'parody' from the troll tart>
>Come! Visit the Archive! Hang out with Alan!
http://www.mbyrne.dircon.co.uk/
Sorry to disappoint everyone, but if you missed my first visit to that
unseemly part of cyberspace, then you also missed my last. But if
Christine promises to archive the 'Allusions' thread on her site, I
will consider visiting it again.
Alan M
Alan M
Johnston) wrote:
>Miles Constable <mi...@triumf.ca> wrote:
>
>> [or perhaps CJ had a little faux pas... :)]
>
>I don't know if he switches it on when he goes back 'home' but his vocab
>is most definitely european.
European vocab?? Hmmm... *Europe*, I've got to visit that country
some day. I guess I better take my English/Eurpopean dictionary with
me.
>He was on the tv a few weeks back saying
>'oh bugger'
"...on the tv a few weeks back..." Could you be more vague? Or can
you actually cite the interview date and place?
>and it gave *me* a little giggle as I put him in a diary
>once saying 'bugger'
Now *there's* an image: Christine having a little giggle over what she
believes is prescience. Yikes.
>and I got all these e-mails from .ca explaining how
>good Canadians don't say this.....
Not sure where all those e-mails came from. Certainly not from the
majority of .ca people I know. Of course, that's another story...
Alan M
Christine Johnston
> On Wed, 8 Jul 1998 18:31:31 +0000, chr...@dircon.co.uk (Christine
> Johnston) wrote:
>
> <snip another achingly riotous 'parody' from the troll tart>
Cue Benny Hill 'chase' music.....
Paul B
Christine Johnston <chr...@dircon.co.uk> writes
<good stuff snipped>
LOL! Thanks, Christine, keep it up.......
--
Paul B
Note: reply to pa...@larkhall.co.uk if replying by Email.
A complete history of F1, including drivers, cars and circuits, can be found at
http://www.ddavid.com/formula1/index1.htm
J Smith
>In article <199807081...@th-eng10-055.pool.dircon.co.uk>,
>Christine Johnston <chr...@dircon.co.uk> writes
>
><good stuff snipped>
>
>LOL! Thanks, Christine, keep it up.......
Maybe Jacques shoulda used that as one of his Viagra jokes? ;-)
--
J Smith
Tony Hughes
LESSnetcom.ca> writes more complaints about 'the diaries'
Alan,
I'm intrigued - *why* do you get so annoyed about this? I get the
impression you think its somehow anti-JV or even anti-Canadian and that
is simply not the case. I have absolutely nothing against Jacques, in
fact I quite like the bloke, but I can still see the (very) funny side
of this stuff and I even suspect Jacques himself would be much less
bothered by it than you seem to be.
In the UK we have a satire/irony based sense of humour, watch any decent
British comedies and you'll see (Blackadder is probably the best
example), and this falls into the same category. Satirising someone
*does not* mean that you hate or dislike them, in fact often quite the
opposite.
You are of course entitled to find it unfunny, but you have no grounds
at all for the diatribe against it that you seem intent on. Is it really
that important?
Incidentally I'm not taking 'sides' in this against you, I just think
you are mistaken in the way you percieve the diaries as being 'against'
Jacques Villeneuve.
Cheers.
--------------------------------------------------------
Tony Hughes a...@dwad.feck.demon.co.uk Sheffield UK
Remove feck from email address to reply
I'm going mad with the hunger!
--------------------------------------------------------
Sean Clare
Tisk Tisk :-)
Sean
On Wed, 8 Jul 1998 18:31:31 +0000, chr...@dircon.co.uk (Christine
Johnston) wrote:
>Friday 26 June
Mr. Hot Pants
>
> Alan M <ac...@SPAM-LESSnetcom.ca> wrote:
***
Same as it ever was.
Same as it ever was.
Same as it ever was.
Same as it ever was.
***
> > On Wed, 8 Jul 1998 18:31:31 +0000, chr...@dircon.co.uk (Christine
> > Johnston) wrote:
> >
> > <snip another achingly riotous 'parody' from the troll tart>
>
> Cue Benny Hill 'chase' music.....
AAAAH! My clothes! That jerk! I'll get him!
Mr. Hot Pants
Benny Hill Lives
Paul B
<A...@dwad.feck.demon.co.uk> writes
>In article <35a63f09...@nntp.netcom.ca>, Alan M <acct5@SPAM-
>LESSnetcom.ca> writes more complaints about 'the diaries'
>
>Alan,
>
>I'm intrigued - *why* do you get so annoyed about this? I get the
>impression you think its somehow anti-JV or even anti-Canadian and that
>is simply not the case. I have absolutely nothing against Jacques, in
>fact I quite like the bloke, but I can still see the (very) funny side
>of this stuff and I even suspect Jacques himself would be much less
>bothered by it than you seem to be.
>
>In the UK we have a satire/irony based sense of humour, watch any decent
>British comedies and you'll see (Blackadder is probably the best
>example), and this falls into the same category. Satirising someone
>*does not* mean that you hate or dislike them, in fact often quite the
>opposite.
>
>You are of course entitled to find it unfunny, but you have no grounds
>at all for the diatribe against it that you seem intent on. Is it really
>that important?
>
>Incidentally I'm not taking 'sides' in this against you, I just think
>you are mistaken in the way you percieve the diaries as being 'against'
>Jacques Villeneuve.
>
>Cheers.
They're funny and well-written
He doesn't like them
He objects to Christine posting them
He objects to us reading them
He wants to be a self-appointed censor to this ng
He doesn't know how a killfile works
He's a prat.
Perm any six from six
Keep posting, Christine, bring some pleasure into our lives.
Thanks
--
Paul B
Note: reply to pa...@larkhall.co.uk if replying by Email
If you really mean it, it all comes round again
'Meet on the Ledge' - Richard Thompson/Fairport Convention
Dianne Millen
Alan M <ac...@SPAM-LESSnetcom.ca> wrote:
>On Wed, 8 Jul 1998 18:31:31 +0000, chr...@dircon.co.uk (Christine
>Johnston) wrote:
>
><snip another achingly riotous 'parody' from the troll tart>
Dear Alan,
Christine is funny. You are not. Please fuck off now.
Dianne, really sick of this sniping
x
--
Visit the very first Formula One Soap Opera!
http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~diannem/maranello/front.html
"Dynasty on acid as scripted by Russ Meyer" - F1 Racing magazine
Sven Baumer
as good as always :o)
chr...@dircon.co.uk (Christine Johnston) writes:
> They are all talking about HHF's Viagra joke.
maybe I live behind the moon, but what was the joke?
> "A man walks into a Chemists and asks for a bottle of aspirin and a
> bottle of Viagra but the chemist says that he has run out of Viagra and
> can only give him the aspirin and the man replies 'that's ok I've got my
> bike outside'".
could someone explain the joke...
or is the joke that there is *nothing* funny
about it whatsoever?
Sven.
David Betts
>Alan,
>I'm intrigued - *why* do you get so annoyed about this? I get the
>impression you think its somehow anti-JV or even anti-Canadian and that
>is simply not the case.
Somebody makes this mistake every month, Tony. They try to apply logic to
the Alan M phenomenon, analyse why he writes what he writes and try to
change his attitude by rational means. This is a complete waste of time.
Alan M is a sad nutter and, for some inexplicable reason, bitter and nasty
with it. My advice is to ignore him.
David Betts
'When the flag drops, the bullshit stops'
Jeff York
I was beginning to think that Alan M's contribution put a sort of
end-marker to each episode of "the diary", rather like a sorbet at
the end of a particularly good meal.. But then the thought struck
me, "No.. It's more like coming out of the restaurant to find that
your car has been vandalised".. :-)
--
Jeff. Ironbridge, Shrops, U.K.
je...@jakfield.xu-netx.com (remove the x..x round u-net for return address)
"-but as he was a York, I am rather inclined to suppose him a
very respectable Man."
Jane Austen, The History of England
Dillon Pyron
I know it's satire and meant to be funny.
But Jacques just begs to be satirized :-)
--
dillon pyron
dillon...@amd.com
Happy Trails, to you, until we meet again.
-Roy Rogers
Irwin Sabath
>Tony Huges wrote:
>
>>Alan,
>
>>I'm intrigued - *why* do you get so annoyed about this? I get the
>>impression you think its somehow anti-JV or even anti-Canadian and that
>>is simply not the case.
>
>Somebody makes this mistake every month, Tony. They try to apply logic to
>the Alan M phenomenon, analyse why he writes what he writes and try to
>change his attitude by rational means. This is a complete waste of time.
>
>Alan M is a sad nutter and, for some inexplicable reason, bitter and nasty
>with it. My advice is to ignore him.
Precisely.
Thanks David. you've saved me time and trouble trying to launch an
explication of the "sad nutter's" motivations stemming from deep
seated resentments, compulsions, late bed wetting, etc.
--
Irwin
t.i.n.s.t.a.a.f.l.
(Helping victims of conventional wisdom)
Mark J. Frusciante
->"David Betts" <David...@email.msn.com> wrote:
->>Tony Huges wrote:
->>>Alan,
->>>I'm intrigued - *why* do you get so annoyed about this? I get the
->>>impression you think its somehow anti-JV or even anti-Canadian and that
->>>is simply not the case.
->>
->>Somebody makes this mistake every month, Tony. They try to apply logic to
->>the Alan M phenomenon, analyse why he writes what he writes and try to
->>change his attitude by rational means. This is a complete waste of time.
->>
->>Alan M is a sad nutter and, for some inexplicable reason, bitter and nasty
->>with it. My advice is to ignore him.
->
->Precisely.
->Thanks David. you've saved me time and trouble trying to launch an
->explication of the "sad nutter's" motivations stemming from deep
->seated resentments, compulsions, late bed wetting, etc.
I believe I've dealt with this: Alan M. is very much into self-abuse.
He must then punish himself by reading The Diaries, and gets further off
on telling us how painful he's found them.
It's quite sad, really.
Mark
F1 Racing Page http://www.pipeline.com/~opus/racing.htm
Home of the RASF1 autobiographies.
David Sidwell
<sba...@informatik.uni-ulm.de> wrote:
>
>as good as always :o)
>
>
>
>chr...@dircon.co.uk (Christine Johnston) writes:
>> They are all talking about HHF's Viagra joke.
>
>maybe I live behind the moon, but what was the joke?
In the Friday press conference before Magny Cours HHF came out with
this gem about how he felt after his shunt:
"My neck is still a bit stiff. I guess it must be like swallowing a
Viagra tablet and then having it stick in your throat."
>
>> "A man walks into a Chemists and asks for a bottle of aspirin and a
>> bottle of Viagra but the chemist says that he has run out of Viagra and
>> can only give him the aspirin and the man replies 'that's ok I've got my
>> bike outside'".
>
>could someone explain the joke...
No.
>
>or is the joke that there is *nothing* funny
>about it whatsoever?
Depends on your sense of humour...
>
>Sven.
>
David
Alan M
wrote:
>He doesn't like them
correct.
>He objects to Christine posting them
As I've said on *numerous* occasions, she's entitled to post whatever
she likes.
>He objects to us reading them
Actually, I thought more people object to *me* reading them.
>He wants to be a self-appointed censor to this ng
Yeah, right. I say that all the time. If you had a *clue*, you might
be dangerous.
>He doesn't know how a killfile works
LOL. If I had a nickel for every lamer that attempted to give me
newbie advice, I'd be in good position to buy out Gates today.
>He's a prat.
Ouch! Ease up a little, eh? Those school yard jibes cut pretty close
to the bone.
>Keep posting, Christine, bring some pleasure into our lives.
Now if this isn't a cry for help, I don't know what is...
Alan M
Alan M
York) wrote:
>
>I was beginning to think that Alan M's contribution put a sort of
>end-marker to each episode of "the diary", rather like a sorbet at
>the end of a particularly good meal.. But then the thought struck
>me, "No.. It's more like coming out of the restaurant to find that
>your car has been vandalised".. :-)
>
Very touching in an odd sort of way. I know everyone like take it in
the spirit it's intended.
Alan M
Alan M
wrote:
>Precisely.
>Thanks David. you've saved me time and trouble trying to launch an
>explication of the "sad nutter's" motivations stemming from deep
>seated resentments, compulsions, late bed wetting, etc.
>--
>Irwin
Irwin!? Since when did *you* get off so easy?! I'm very disappointed
you couldn't muster the energy to wade in with your usual "ME TOO!"
And I'm particularly intrigued to know more about the "late bed
wetting" mentioned above. Any details you could provide would be much
appreciated.
Alan M
Alan M
Frusciante) wrote:
>
>I believe I've dealt with this: Alan M. is very much into self-abuse.
I dunno Mark, Irwin says it's down to late bed wetting. I suppose
it's a coin toss.
>He must then punish himself by reading The Diaries, and gets further off
>on telling us how painful he's found them.
What do I do? I read, and I comment on what I read. Radical stuff.
Something that apparently catches a lot of people off guard around
here.
>It's quite sad, really.
Don't be sad Mark, chin up.
Alan M
Alan M
<A...@dwad.feck.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <35a63f09...@nntp.netcom.ca>, Alan M <acct5@SPAM-
>LESSnetcom.ca> writes more complaints about 'the diaries'
>
>Alan,
>
>I'm intrigued - *why* do you get so annoyed about this? I get the
>impression you think its somehow anti-JV or even anti-Canadian and that
>is simply not the case. I have absolutely nothing against Jacques, in
>fact I quite like the bloke, but I can still see the (very) funny side
>of this stuff and I even suspect Jacques himself would be much less
>bothered by it than you seem to be.
>
>In the UK we have a satire/irony based sense of humour, watch any decent
>British comedies and you'll see (Blackadder is probably the best
>example), and this falls into the same category.
Thanks for the history lesson, but I know of what you speak. Goon
Show to Python to Fawlty... I love it all (who doesn't?).
>Satirising someone
>*does not* mean that you hate or dislike them, in fact often quite the
>opposite.
Well Tony, isn't it funny that you should mention that. One of my
original criticisms of the diaries was that the author not only didn't
like her subject, she in fact had an intense hatred of him. Not the
starting stuff of which genuine satire or parody is mined...
>You are of course entitled to find it unfunny, but you have no grounds
>at all for the diatribe against it that you seem intent on.
Excuse me? And who are you to tell me I have no grounds for what I
say, or for that matter, what I post?
>Is it really that important?
Let me qualify that. Important like 'miss work to follow this NG'?
No. Important like 'I got twenty minutes to waste, why not visit
RASF1?' Sure.
>Incidentally I'm not taking 'sides' in this against you, I just think
>you are mistaken in the way you percieve the diaries as being 'against'
>Jacques Villeneuve.
>
Tony, young son... Make *no* mistake, the Diary's author has made her
feelings on JV clear here a number of times. It's certainly no state
secret that she nothing but utter contempt for man. Just ask her.
Alan M
Alan M
(Dianne Millen) wrote:
>In article <35a53ac...@nntp.netcom.ca>,
>Alan M <ac...@SPAM-LESSnetcom.ca> wrote:
>>On Wed, 8 Jul 1998 18:31:31 +0000, chr...@dircon.co.uk (Christine
>>Johnston) wrote:
>>
>><snip another achingly riotous 'parody' from the troll tart>
>
>
>Dear Alan,
>
>Christine is funny. You are not. Please fuck off now.
Care to expand on that thought...?
>
>Dianne, really sick of this sniping
Really? You seem pretty chipper to me.
Alan M
Sven Baumer
no, it depends on my understanding of the
English language.
I *really* don't get it. :-(
Sven.
Tony Hughes
LESSnetcom.ca> writes
>>Satirising someone
>>*does not* mean that you hate or dislike them, in fact often quite the
>>opposite.
>
>Well Tony, isn't it funny that you should mention that. One of my
>original criticisms of the diaries was that the author not only didn't
>like her subject, she in fact had an intense hatred of him. Not the
>starting stuff of which genuine satire or parody is mined...
I don't particularly care whether she hates him or not, what I am saying
is that it does not necessarily follow that satire=hatred.
>>You are of course entitled to find it unfunny, but you have no grounds
>>at all for the diatribe against it that you seem intent on.
>
>Excuse me? And who are you to tell me I have no grounds for what I
>say, or for that matter, what I post?
(Isn't that what you are attempting to do with the diaries?) I'm not
saying you can't post comments, just that I think you are wrong in your
misdirected persual of the matter.
<snip>
>
>>Incidentally I'm not taking 'sides' in this against you, I just think
>>you are mistaken in the way you percieve the diaries as being 'against'
>>Jacques Villeneuve.
>>
>
>Tony, young son... Make *no* mistake, the Diary's author has made her
>feelings on JV clear here a number of times. It's certainly no state
>secret that she nothing but utter contempt for man. Just ask her.
>
>
Young son- Thats really put me in my place hasn't it. How do you arrive
at her hating men for doing a skit on one particular man. Besides any of
that she can like or dislike whoever she sees fit.
Ok, Christine....Do you hate Jacques Villeneuve?
Do you hate all men?
>
Alan, I don't really care about this enough to get into a slanging
match over it, but the fact remains that Christine has every right to
post what she likes about whoever she likes, and you have every right to
post whatever you like. I never said any different, I just said that I
thought you were wrong, as I am entitled to do.
As they say in these parts - Don't get into bed over it.
Tony
Ron
if not - drs have recently stated that only 17% of body weight is
needed to cause impotency in males who ride cycles with those
ridiculously narrow seats.
seems like too much weight is being placed on the testes :)
On 10 Jul 1998 10:14:03 +0200, Sven Baumer
<sba...@informatik.uni-ulm.de> wrote:
>
>jame...@rocketmail.SpamMeNot.com (David Sidwell) writes:
>> On 09 Jul 1998 13:55:21 +0200, Sven Baumer
>> <sba...@informatik.uni-ulm.de> wrote:
>
>> >> "A man walks into a Chemists and asks for a bottle of aspirin and a
>> >> bottle of Viagra but the chemist says that he has run out of Viagra and
>> >> can only give him the aspirin and the man replies 'that's ok I've got my
>> >> bike outside'".
>> >
>> >could someone explain the joke...
>>
>> No.
>>
>> >
>> >or is the joke that there is *nothing* funny
>> >about it whatsoever?
>>
>> Depends on your sense of humour...
>>
>
>no, it depends on my understanding of the
>English language.
>I *really* don't get it. :-(
>
>
>Sven.
--
Ron
Dianne Millen
Alan M <ac...@SPAM-LESSnetcom.ca> wrote:
>Well Tony, isn't it funny that you should mention that. One of my
>original criticisms of the diaries was that the author not only didn't
>like her subject, she in fact had an intense hatred of him. Not the
>starting stuff of which genuine satire or parody is mined...
[...]
>Tony, young son... Make *no* mistake, the Diary's author has made her
>feelings on JV clear here a number of times. It's certainly no state
>secret that she nothing but utter contempt for man. Just ask her.
So, Alan, why then don't you follow up to my Maranello
postings and slag me off? I, after all, portray your
hero in less than flattering terms. I feel left out now.
Waaaa! Alan doesn't care enough about me to hassle me!
Sniffle!
Dianne
tra...@globalserve.net
>
> Alan M <ac...@SPAM-LESSnetcom.ca> wrote:
>>feelings on JV clear here a number of times. It's certainly no state
>>secret that she nothing but utter contempt for man. Just ask her.
>
> So, Alan, why then don't you follow up to my Maranello
> postings and slag me off? I, after all, portray your
> hero in less than flattering terms. I feel left out now.
> Waaaa! Alan doesn't care enough about me to hassle me!
> Sniffle!
>
> Dianne
Just then a talking duck popped up on screen and asked,
"Dianne, are you nuts? Did you really want to say that?"
from: -Ferdinand-, who has been driven to using DejaNews because his
regular news server shows not one single message posted to rec.autos.sport.f1
today.
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
Kulvinder Singh Matharu
>Dianne Millen wrote:
>>
>> Alan M <ac...@SPAM-LESSnetcom.ca> wrote:
>>>Tony, young son... Make *no* mistake, the Diary's author has made her
>>>feelings on JV clear here a number of times. It's certainly no state
>>>secret that she nothing but utter contempt for man. Just ask her.
>>
>> So, Alan, why then don't you follow up to my Maranello
>> postings and slag me off? I, after all, portray your
>> hero in less than flattering terms. I feel left out now.
>> Waaaa! Alan doesn't care enough about me to hassle me!
>> Sniffle!
>>
>> Dianne
>
>Just then a talking duck popped up on screen and asked,
> "Dianne, are you nuts? Did you really want to say that?"
>
[snip]
I'm a bit worried about Dianne and here fantasies on F1 pilots and
their ducks... :-0
--
Kulvinder Singh Matharu
E-mail : KSMa...@iee.org
(note : e-mail header address deliberately mangled)
DAB ... * ulp ! * ...
Ron wrote in message <35a5d74a...@news.ihug.co.nz>...
>has the answer to the joke been posted?
>
>if not - drs have recently stated that only 17% of body weight is
>needed to cause impotency in males who ride cycles with those
>ridiculously narrow seats.
>
>seems like too much weight is being placed on the testes :)
Hmmmm... Complete nonsense. Obviously, if you sit on your balls,
you're going to have problems.
dab
Ron
actually, the article I read referred to the arteries feeding the
testes.....
--
Ron
DAB ... * ulp ! * ...
Ron wrote in message <35a6ad90....@news.ihug.co.nz>...
>so you are a Dr now?
Yes, I am. ! Have been for nearly Eight years now. No big secret,
Ron.,though not perhaps the answer you expected!
>
>actually, the article I read referred to the arteries feeding the
>testes.....
Ah, now if you'd just *said* that!
In actual fact, it is less the actual amount of weight that is significant,
the angle of the saddle and the distribution of fat and the strength of the
muscle in the pelvic floor/prostate area are more significant factors.
The "cyclists droop" is something of an urban legend, in many ways-
Actually cutting off bloodflow to the scrotum isn't at all difficult to do,
but it does give significant discomfort and then numbness, and anyone who
actually did this for a sufficient length of time to risk other than
transient impotency would have to be very masochistic in outlook!
OK?
If the work you are referring to was done by one Dr. Irwin Goldstein, he
has since retracted the whole premise, and gone on record as saying that in
terms of impotency,the positive benefits of cycling in terms of increased
cardio-vascular health greatly outweigh the minor risk.
If you *really* insist, I can probably find the relevant articles in The
Lancet or GP[and that *isn't* Grand Prix!]. - or you can do a search for
"Irwin Goldstein" if you can be arsed- but what I'm saying is absolute
gospel.
dab
Ron
And I gleefully posted the article on the notice board at work just to
get at the cyclists there!! :)
On Sat, 11 Jul 1998 03:04:58 +0100, "DAB ... * ulp ! * ..."
<dr...@the.fountain.of.mirth> wrote:
--
Ron
DAB ... * ulp ! * ...
Ron wrote in message <35a6de45...@news.ihug.co.nz>...
>Damn.
>
>And I gleefully posted the article on the notice board at work just to
>get at the cyclists there!! :)
You never know- The guys where you work may well represent that small
percentage of bikers with masochistic tendencies!! Statistical anomolies
and all that!
Just out of interest, was it Irwin Goldstein?? What a fine name for a
doctor, by the way!!
dab
>
<<original stuff scnipped!>>>
Ron
--
Ron
Alan M
wrote:
Er... bit of a typo there... If it helps, replace 'like' with 'will'.
Alan M
Dianne Millen
Kulvinder Singh Matharu <KSMa...@iee.org.X> wrote:
>>Just then a talking duck popped up on screen and asked,
>> "Dianne, are you nuts? Did you really want to say that?"
>>
>[snip]
>
>I'm a bit worried about Dianne and here fantasies on F1 pilots and
>their ducks... :-0
Why??! I don't make the ducks actually *do* anything,
distasteful or otherwise.
Although some mummy ducks and baby ducklings splashing round
in the puddles yesterday might have been fun!
Dianne
x
--
Maranello - the site that develops faster than Winfield-Williams-Mecachrome!
http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~diannem/maranello/front.html
Coming soon- www.maranello.org - and Maranello t-shirts!