Can someone post up car sayings again....
Dj2Phat4U
I know a while ago someone posted up cars and what they say about their owners.
Could someone please post that again. And also, how about some of these
sayings too like FORD + First On Race Day . Thanks...
Dallas...@yahoo.com
In article <199805281933...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BEETLE-
Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine
BMW-
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
Bought My Wife
Break My Windows
BUICK-
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CHEVROLET-
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time
Car Hesitates, Exhaust Valve's Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks
CHEVY-
Crappy Hick Engine, Very Yucky
DODGE-
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT-
Failure In Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD-
First On Race Day
Found On Road Dead
F*cked Over Rebuilt Dodge
HYUNDAI-
How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
IROC-
Italian Retard Out Cruising
I'd Rather Own a Corvette
It's Really Only a Camaro
MOPAR-
Most Often Passed At Races
Misc. Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
My Old Pig Ain't Running
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
OLDS-
One Leak, Dead Starter
Old Lemons Dying Slowly
OLDSMOBILE-
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every Day
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
Pinto-
Put In Nickel To Operate
SAAB-
Such An Arrogant Bastard
VW-
Virtually Worthless
All of the above are from the July issue of 5.0 Mustang, except for the
acronyms for FORD, which we've all heard before. Enjoy, and feel free to add
more.
Dallas
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Maverick9D
***********************************************
What Cars Say About Their Owners...
***********************************************
- Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
- Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars.
- Acura NSX - I am impotent.
- Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires.
- Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
- Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesperson.
- Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp.
- Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating up people.
- Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I
have a 'Vette.
- Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis.
- Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
- Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
- Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
- Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for
Eisenhower.
- Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
- Ford Escort - I'm a red-headed nanny.
- Ford Expedition- I paid a lot for this 4x4, the 4wd won't engage, but its
ok cause I don't want to get it dirty.
- Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)
- Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones.
- Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes
when I pull up behind them.
- Geo Metro - Its all my parents would buy me
- Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
- Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
- Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all.
- Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit.
- Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
- Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
- Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
- Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280
days per year.
- Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.
- Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
- Mercury Grand Marquis - (See Lincoln Town Car)
- Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
- Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
- Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler.
- MGB - I am dating a mechanic.
- Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either.
- Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
- Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.
- Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.
- Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock.
- Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me.
- Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchannan is a tad bit too liberal
- Saab 900 - I graduated from college and I think I am better than you
- Saab 9000 Turbo - I have my masters and I think I am better than you
- Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)
- Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car.
- Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet
- Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch The Partridge Family
- Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet
- Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now
- Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
Kevin M K
Two more FORD acronyms I'm sure we all heard, but here they are:
Figure On Repairs Daily
For Off Road Driving
--
Kevin M K
Remove ".nospam" from my e-mail address to reply
Erich Coiner
Kevin M K wrote:
>
> Two more FORD acronyms I'm sure we all heard, but here they are:
>
> Figure On Repairs Daily
> For Off Road Driving
> --
For Outstanding Road Durability
Fu*(* Old Raggedy Dog
Found On Road Dead
First On Race Day
Erich
Subic Sailor
For Out Running (her) Dad ..
Erich Coiner wrote in message <356EF9...@NOSPAMhp.com>...
Psycho
Heres one that most Mustang owners can attest to
"Fun On Rainy Days", just thought of it, unless it just surfaced
from the recesses of my mind.
Erich Coiner
EEE! That brought back a scary memory from my past.
Just minding my own business driving to work in my 66 coupe.
It is pouring down rain, as I merge onto the Freeway at about 55, I look
back and see there is a lot of traffic coming but I am in a local break.
I toe the accelerator pretty good and as I cross the Botts dots from the
slow lane to the second lane, the rear end of the car breaks loose and I
go into a spin. The next thing I see is looking back at 4 lanes of
oncoming traffic including a Dump Truck! I panic and try to stab the
brake but the centrifugal force of the spin means I nail the throttle
instead. I really believe this saved my sorry ass. The rear end lit up
and the car continued on around in a 360, then one more full revolution
for good measure. I stopped when the Front drivers side fender smacked
into the concrete center divider. The car stopped in the emergency
center lane pointed in the correct direction. All the traffic rushed by
and the passenger looked at me and said, "I wasn't wearing my
seatbelt...."
I got out, cleaned out my shorts and inspected the damage. The Fender
was folded in front of the wheel. It was not touching the wheel and the
headlight wasn't even broken, just pointed in a weird direction.
Fired the car back up and drove to work CAREFULLY!
Fun On Rainy Day indeed!
Erich
LCS
On 28 May 1998 19:33:50 GMT, dj2p...@aol.com (Dj2Phat4U) wrote:
>I know a while ago someone posted up cars and what they say about their owners.
> Could someone please post that again. And also, how about some of these
>sayings too like FORD + First On Race Day . Thanks...
These were in the "Bench Racer" section of the July 5.0 magazine..
AUDI- Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW- 1.Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
2.Bought My Wife
3.Break My Windows
Buick- Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Chevrolet-1.Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
2.Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time
Chevy-Cruddy Hick Engine, Very Yucky
Dodge-1.Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
2.Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
Fiat-1.Failure In Automotive Technology
2.Feeble Italian Attempt At Transportation
3.Fix It Again, Tony
Hyundai-How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
IROC-1.I'd Rather Own a Corvette
2.It's Really Only a Camaro
3.Italian Retard Out Cruising
Mopar-1.Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
2.Most Often Passed At Races
3.Mostly Old Parts And Rust
4.My Old Pig Ain't Running
Olds-1.One Leak, Dead Starter
2.Old Lemons Dying Slowly
Oldsmobile-1.Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every Day
2.Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
Pinto- Put In Nickel To Operate
Saab- Such An Arrogant Bastard
VW- Virtually Worthless
Beetle- Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine
Some of these are a little strange, but you asked for them....
Psycho
Wow, I had damn near the same occurance as you. Imagine that.
Wheeeeeeee!!!!!
94GTConv
HONDA: Had One, Never Do it Again
Stang88LX
Here u go BUDDY!!!!!!!!!
AUDI-Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BUICK-Big, Ugly, Import Car Killer
CHEVROLET-Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering
Techniques
Chevrolet. Cheap heap, every valve rattles or leaks, every time.
CHEVROLET-Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVY-Charged HeaVilY
CHEVY-Cheapest Heap Envisioned Yet
DATSUN-Disgraceful Auto That Stalls Unceasingly
DODGE-Driven Only During Grey Evenings
DODGE-Drips Oil, Drips Gas Everywhere
FIAT-Fails In Attempted Turns
FIAT-Fix It Again Tony
FIAT-Fine Italian Automotive Technology
FORD-Fought Off Recall Demands
FORD-Found On Road Dead
FORD LTD-Found on road dying, Left to die.
FORD-F___er Only Runs Downhill
FORD-Fix Or Repair Daily
FORD-First On Race Day
FORD-First On Rust Development
FORD-Fork Over Repair Dough
FORD-Founded On Reservation Dump
GEO-Good Engineering Overlooked
GMC-Get More Chicks
GMC-Garage Mechanic's Companion
IROC – I reek of cologne
JEEP-Junk Engineered Executed Poorly
Lotus - Lots Of Trouble Usually Serious
LTD-Laughable Trash Dump
MAZDA-My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
MOPAR - Mostly Old Parts And Rust.
OLDS-Old Ladies Driving Slowly
OLDSMOBILE-Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
PINTO-Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
PLYMOUTH-Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, all Underestimating This Heap
PONTIAC-Penniless Old Nicaraguan Thinks It's a Cadillac
PONTIAC-Poor Old Nick Thinks It's A Cadillac
PONTIAC-Pours Out Noxious Toxins In American Cities
PORSCHE-Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything
SAAB-Sad Attempt At Beauty
SAAB-Sorry Auto, Always Broken
SUBARU-Screwed up beyond all repair usually.
TRIUMPH-This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
TRIUMPH-Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
TRIUMPH-The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays
Heavily
TOYOTA-Toyauto
TOYOTA-Towed Often, Yearly Overrunning Triple A
Yugo - You Ugly Gas (O)holic
Erich Coiner
Psycho wrote:
>
> Wow, I had damn near the same occurance as you. Imagine that.
> Wheeeeeeee!!!!!
Front heavy weight distribution, lots of torque, pizza cutter tires....
its a prescription for doughnuts.
Erich