> I drive a lot of miles each year and over my 28 years of driving I have
> come up with a few terms I use to describe the various kinds of drivers.
>
<snip>
speeder - someone who puts everyone's safety at risk in order to save a
few seconds by exceeding the speed limit
--
Lance Lamboy
"Go F*ck Yourself" ~ Dick Cheney
>> speeder - someone who puts everyone's safety at risk in order to save a
>> few seconds by exceeding the speed limit
>
>That's original.
It's a LameBoy(tm) exclusive!
>I drive a lot of miles each year and over my 28 years of driving I have
>come up with a few terms I use to describe the various kinds of drivers.
Here are some more for you:
Moron - The individual who runs a red light and almost t-bones you
because chatting on their cell phone is more important than
concentrating on driving.
Moron - The individual who crosses the center line because chatting on
their cell phone is more important than concentrating on driving.
Moron - The individual who runs off the road because chatting on their
cell phone is more important than concentrating on driving.
Moron - The individual who drives 15 miles an hour because chatting on
their cell phone is more important than concentrating on driving.
Moron - The individual who waits until you are near their
intersection, pulls out in front of you (failing to yield
right-of-way) even though no traffic is following you, and makes you
sit through a massive line of oncoming traffic because they have to
turn left at the next intersection.
Moron - The individual who crosses back and forth across multiple
lanes of traffic because they were too stupid to figure out their
route before they started their engine, instead relying on their
superior intellect to make the decision at the last possible moment,
causing a massive impact on other drivers in the area.
Super Moron - The idiot that thinks it's safe to pace the car in the
lane beside them.
"Patricia" <patty_DEL...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:pan.2004.06.29....@yahoo.com...
> Agreed!!
>
>
> --
> Patricia Fitzhenry
> Remove DEL to reply
> Registered Linux user #358464
> What do you call the male drivers that are rolling slowly starring on
> the side at the woman in the mini skirt and rear end the car in front of
> theirs? I wouldn't have a name for that. It's just part of nature......
>
<snip>
You're asking for the term that refers to people who stare at beautiful
ladies? That term is "men."
"Lance Lamboy" <lance....@lamboy.nospam.com> wrote in message
news:pan.2004.06.29....@lamboy.nospam.com...
> On Tue, 29 Jun 2004 13:48:22 -0400, David W. Poole, Jr. wrote:
>
>
> Agreed!!
>
I usually use different names for those activities, but in the interest
of keeping this newsgroup PG-13, I won't post them :)
nate
--
go dry to reply.
http://www.toad.net/~njnagel
> On Tue, 29 Jun 2004 16:39:24 -0400, Black Bomb wrote:
>
>
>>What do you call the male drivers that are rolling slowly starring on
>>the side at the woman in the mini skirt and rear end the car in front of
>>theirs? I wouldn't have a name for that. It's just part of nature......
>>
>
> <snip>
>
> You're asking for the term that refers to people who stare at beautiful
> ladies? That term is "men."
>
You forgot "dykes" as well :) Heck, I don't understand *anyone* that
doesn't at least sneak a glance at a beautiful woman.
> On Tue, 29 Jun 2004 16:39:24 -0400, Black Bomb wrote:
>
>
>>What do you call the male drivers that are rolling slowly starring on the
>>side at the woman in the mini skirt and rear end the car in front of theirs?
>>I wouldn't have a name for that. It's just part of nature......
>
>
> NORMAL!!!
> If they were staring at men in mini-skirts I would worry :)
>
I would probably stare at that as well. The phrase "train wreck"
springs to mind :)
Except they don't speed to save time. They do it because of that
little 3 inch sponge between their legs that the wife is always
laughing at. Doing 90 mph and terrorizing other drivers makes them
think they're big men.
> "Lance Lamboy" <lance....@lamboy.nospam.com> wrote in message
> news:<pan.2004.06.29....@lamboy.nospam.com>...
>> On Tue, 29 Jun 2004 16:21:45 +0000, Patricia wrote:
>>
>> > I drive a lot of miles each year and over my 28 years of driving I
>> > have come up with a few terms I use to describe the various kinds of
>> > drivers.
>> >
>> <snip>
>>
>> speeder - someone who puts everyone's safety at risk in order to save a
>> few seconds by exceeding the speed limit
>
> Except they don't speed to save time.
But they do save a few seconds over a driver who obeys the speed limit.
Maybe as much as one minute.
> They do it because of that
> little 3 inch sponge between their legs that the wife is always laughing
> at.
Maybe if they can get frisky with the wife (despite her misgivings)
they'll have something to do with the 30seconds-1minute they saved by
speeding.
> Doing 90 mph and terrorizing other drivers makes them
> think they're big men.
Something's got to compensate for their small penises.
>I drive a lot of miles each year and over my 28 years of driving I have
>come up with a few terms I use to describe the various kinds of drivers.
>
There's only 2 nicknames you ever need to know.
Idiots: People you pass
Maniacs: People who pass you
What about the dreaded " two fisters"?
Bernard
>> Except they don't speed to save time.
>
>But they do save a few seconds over a driver who obeys the speed limit.
>Maybe as much as one minute.
Actually it can save much more than that; I once drove from the coast
of New Hampshire to the upstate of South Carolina in 12 hours, beating
my closest family member's record of 18 hours.
>> They do it because of that
>> little 3 inch sponge between their legs that the wife is always laughing
>> at.
>
>Maybe if they can get frisky with the wife (despite her misgivings)
>they'll have something to do with the 30seconds-1minute they saved by
>speeding.
Nah, I've had a gal mount me while I was driving; that was a *severe*
distraction, and made driving *extremely* difficult. I would have
preferred that she wait the extra few minutes until we got somewhere
where I could have turned the car off.
>What do you call the male drivers that are rolling slowly starring on the
>side at the woman in the mini skirt and rear end the car in front of theirs?
>I wouldn't have a name for that. It's just part of nature......
Really; when I was a much younger man, I fell to that one. As luck
would have it, my ex-fiance pulled up right after the fact and asked
if I was ok. :-)
>On Tue, 29 Jun 2004 13:48:22 -0400, David W. Poole, Jr. wrote:
>
>>
>> On Tue, 29 Jun 2004 16:21:45 GMT, Patricia
>> <patty_DEL...@yahoo.com> was understood to have stated the
>> following:
>>
>
>Agreed!!
Ah, I almost forgot a few others in the "moron" category.....
Those who don't understand the proper function of the lever extending
from the left side of the steering column.
Those who don't understand the proper manner to negotiate multi-way
stops.
Those who don't understand the significance of "right on red."
Those who don't understand the significance of an emergency vehicle
(ambulance or fire truck) approaching from the rear with their sirens
blaring and lights flashing.
Another favorite is those super-geniuses who drive around with their
fart-muffler equipped rolling boom-boxes, who's stereos emit enough
bass to rattle your car. Fortunately these idiots get to pay the price
in the long run.
>There's only 2 nicknames you ever need to know.
>
>Idiots: People you pass
>Maniacs: People who pass you
But that's so passe!! :-D
> >Idiots: People you pass
> >Maniacs: People who pass you
>
> But that's so passe!! :-D
>
If they passe you, they are maniacs!
>
>If they passe you, they are maniacs!
Touche! Especially the way I drive sometimes.... :-D
I gotta stop doing this.
Bernard
>If they touché you when they passé you, then
>you were in an accident!
Even better. :-)
>I gotta stop doing this.
Yeah, I know my head's starting to hurt. :-D
>Sloth Speeder: A driver who accelerates away from the light like molasses in
>January, but keeps on building speed even after exceeding the posted limit. If
>conditions permit, it's not uncommon to see the Sloth Speeder exceeding the
>posted limit by 15 - 20 MPH - as long as they have a few miles to work up to
>that speed.
Sloth Passer: A driver who thinks that five minutes is a
reasonable time to spend in the left lane passing a single
vehicle.
--
E.R. aka S.J.G. aka Ricardo - Xlate & correct for e-mail reply
'91 mx6gt, white, 5sp MT, V1, CB
Keep right except to pass; never pass on the right.
> Sloth Passer: A driver who thinks that five minutes is a
> reasonable time to spend in the left lane passing a single
> vehicle.
I thought that was already referred to as micro-passing :)
>Yes, I really did know a guy in high school by this name who really did
>rear-end another car because he was distracted by a hot chick. ;)
Back when I lived in Boston, on Rt. 9 in Natick (or Wellesley? it's been
at least 10 years now) some woman on the sidewalk waiting for the light
to change caused a three-car mini-pileup when the wind blew up her dress
and it turned out she forgot to wear panties that day. I missed joining
the fun by mere inches- and I'll admit I was gawking too.
-Kenny
--
Kenneth R. Crudup Sr. SW Engineer, Scott County Consulting, Los Angeles
H: 3630 S. Sepulveda Blvd. #138, L.A., CA 90034-6809 (310) 391-1898
>What about the dreaded "two fisters"?
>Bernard
As "context" is the only thing that seems to be able to elude the
proficient drivers among us here, I'll stop using "two-handers"
(despite there's no way you *couldn't* know whom I was talking
about) and adopt Bernard's "two-fisters" instead.
I think it conveys the level of stress you see that type of
driver exhibit on the road better that the more passive
"two hander", that's why I like it.
Thanks for the attribution in the other thread,
by the way..
Bernard
I agree. I generally drive with two hands, yet am not stressed, etc. It's
the white-knuckle death-grip two-fisters that are a problem.
> I agree. I generally drive with two hands, yet am not stressed, etc. It's
> the white-knuckle death-grip two-fisters that are a problem.
Well, anyone maintaining a 11 and 1 o'clock "white-knuckle" grip on the
steering wheel will have less control than one steering with one hand.
I typically hold the steering wheel at 9 and 3 o'clock and shuffle hand
position when needed.
I usually have a fairly loose 9&3 grip (my steering wheel has an excellent
spot to grip for this). Except when I'm on an empty freeway in excellent
conditions with no one around, in which case it tends to slip to 7&4.
BTW 9&3 is recommended over the traditionally taught 10&2 because it allows
a larger field of motion for an emergency turn, better control and arms
aren't in front of the in-wheel explosive (air bag)
More like 10 and 2 for me. I don't get the objection to two-handed
driving. That is what is taught in driving schools and at least it
prevents the driver from using his cell-phone, drinking coffee
(guilty), etc. Pretty minor item on the list of things I care about.
The point about 'white knucklers' is valid tho.
Harry K
Yes ...
> better control
... maybe (immeasurably)...
> and arms aren't in front of the in-wheel explosive (air bag)
... ummm, no. That only occurs when you *cross* the wheel with an
arm, or put your arm between the bag and your face - like most
'one-handers' or 'one-wristers' do most of the time. A shuffle
steerer (like me) will almost never see that situation, whether
starting from 10 & 2 or 9 & 3. Of course, in *my* favorite car, it
*never* happens. The '88 535is didn't have those damned pyrotechnic
things in it.
--
C.R. Krieger
(Been there; taught that)
>More like 10 and 2 for me. I don't get the objection to two-handed
>driving.
How the hell could you have *NOT* noticed the lameness of drivers
who drive this way (unless we've got a "not part of the solution/
part of the problem"-thing going on here).
I have been trying this technique myself since I got a car with a driver's
side air bag.
Peter Wezeman
anti-social Darwinist
Yah, yah, I know all about your imagined hang-up. Why don't you
educated all the driver training instructors to knock it off??
Harry K
>Yah, yah, I know all about your imagined hang-up.
"Imagined" my ass. I guess you're part of the problem, then.
And just what 'problem' would that be?? Is every two handed driver
you see white knuckling it?? In my experience (which I'll bet is a
lot longer and a hell of a lot more miles than yours) very few are
white knucklers and the vast majority of drivers I see are two-handed.
Again, educate the driver training people, they obviously haven't had
the benefit of your vast knowledge.
Harry K
>And just what 'problem' would that be?
For the *umpteenth* time (I guess you're just a slow learner)
two-fisters are the ones on the road who:
- are moving more slowly than prevailing traffic
- keeping ridiculously high car-spacing distances
- braking on the damn highway for no good reason
- merging onto highways at 40 MPH and the like
- taking all damn day to make lane changes
- and generally fscking up traffic all around them
I haven't seen a damn two-fister yet who doesn't do at least two
of these, and usually all of 'em.
... and how could I forget the number one sin of two-fisters:
- immediately making a beeline to the left-most lane, then clogging it
>http://bizarrevault.lusoporno.com/fistsoffury/index_files/double-fisting-asian-2.jpg
<snort>
I haven't even got to load this up and I know what it entails!
Well, I guess I will jusst have to take your word that everyone doing
that is both
a. Driving two handed
b. White-knuckling it.
You are delusional if you think either one is true.
That those things happen is, unfortunately, all to true and common.
It isn't because of their hand(s) position on the steering wheel tho.
Harry K
>Well, I guess I will jusst have to take your word that everyone doing
>that is both
>a. Driving two handed
Let me guess- you're not an engineer nor in a scientific field, are you?
I said that PEOPLE WHO TWO-FIST drive like I mentioned. Doesn't mean that
everybody who drives like that two-fists. Please *try* and keep up- you're
now the ONLY person who just doesn't get it.
>b. White-knuckling it.
Find the post where I said that. S'matterafact, since so many of the
two-fisters here in SoCal are the damn slow-assed Mexicans, it's not
even a consideration.
Face it, two-fisting is the position of choice of women, old geezers,
Mexicans and Asians. If you feel your driving abilities are lacking
enough that this is the group you align with, hey- that's on you.
Just stay out of the way of *competent* drivers, OK?
> In rec.autos.driving, DTJ said:
>>Well at least we know what you do at work...
> Yeah - that's a snap from the webcam in my office. ;)
The resolution is much better than I expected :). I've actually done
something like that a few times, but it was right after the mother
delivered the baby ;)
Yep, not only delusional but racist as well.
Harry K
>Yep, not only delusional but racist as well.
Anyone who doesn't think Mexicans and Asians don't drive under
the prevailing limit is too stupid to drive.
Want to dispute the other facts of my post or do you concede that, too?
> Anyone who doesn't think Mexicans and Asians don't drive under
> the prevailing limit is too stupid to drive.
What about South Asians?
>What about South Asians?
Hmmm ... "Khokar"- I think I'm being set up here. :-)
I am really interested in -debating- your belief that driving
two-handed is not a good thing. Just what do you think is the problem
with it?? I have asked that before but you have not even come close to
answering. Note that saying the two-handers are bad drivers is -not-
debating. Until I see an actual answer to that question, I will not
reply further.
Harry K
> They're the ones who get tickets for driving 90 in a 55. ;)
<snicker> No, the highest speed I've ever had a ticket for was 86 in a
70. My brother, OTOH, actually got a ticket for 103 in a 70 several
years ago.
>Just what do you think is the problem with it? I have asked that
>before but you have not even come close to answering.
I JUST POSTED why anyone with a clue can see that two-fisters can't
drive for shit.
Like I said, either you're too stupid to see what's obvious, or
you're part of the two-fister brigade. Look out your car windows-
it's *obvious*.
Okayh, one more reply. I -really- want to know what you think the
physical actions are that cause two handers (all of them according to
you) to be bad drivers? Try (I know it is hard for you), just try to
give a coherent answer.
Harry K
>I -really- want to know what you think the physical actions are
>that cause two handers to be bad drivers?
When learning to ride a bike, they put you on training wheels and
someone props you up. Once you learn how to do it properly, you
lose the training wheels and the person holding you up- you've
become comfortable with the bike and don't need things that new,
incompetent bike riders do.
When you learn how to drive, they start you off in that two-fisted
position. But as you get better at it, you realize that two-fisting
is an unrealistic position to drive in (ever seen a two-fister try
and make a wide turn? It's comical) and just like your training
wheels, you adopt a better driving stance once driving isn't the
scary, new experience it was when you started, if your driving
evolves.
Two-fisters are incompetent boobs that never lost the need for
"training wheels". *Look around*- if you can- (I get the impression
that just keeping the car on the road is taxing enough for you)
and see who's doing all the two-fisting: like I said, around here
it's women, geezers, Mexicans and Asians- the most incompetent and
slow drivers on the roads, and their actions clog up the roads for
everyone else.
>(all of them according to you)
If there's a competent two-fister out there, I've never seen one
in 25 years of driving in 35 states.
Ah, finally a real answer to the question. I see you - are -
delusional if you believe that batch of codswallop. Maybe you should
take your... gasp...wheeze...whooee...sorry, had to regain my breath
there..vast experience over to -any- race track and give some advice
to the drivers.
I did a little experiment the past two days both in my wife's taurus
and in my F150. Amazing, following a car it is almost impossible to
see the hand position and for oncoming traffic the only ones you can
spot are those with hands at about 10:30/1:30 or higher. Gee, I
wonder what the other 95% are doing.
Here is a revolutionary idea: why don't you pay attention to your
driving rather than trying to see how others are holding the wheel?
Harry K
>Amazing, following a car it is almost impossible to
>see the hand position
Try PASSING them- *if* you can. (Damn, you're a stupid, stupid asshole!)
>Here is a revolutionary idea: why don't you pay attention to your
>driving rather than trying to see how others are holding the wheel?
I'm not as fucking stupid and brain-dead as you; taking a quick look
to see how people I have to pass because they *are* as fucking stupid
and brain-dead as you doesn't take all *my* available cycles and I
am not a hazard on the road (like- in case you're not clear on my
position here- someone fucking stupid and brain dead as you would.)
Boy, you really know how to post intelligent stuff don't you?
Harry K