Effective load on a choke loaded plate?
John Byrns
Hi Andre,
Is there a coupling capacitor in the circuit too? I will assume there is,
and further I will assume that we are talking only low frequencies where
shunt capacitance's don't have any significant effect, also I will ignore
any losses in the choke besides the copper you mentioned. I will name the
components as follows:
Zl = load impedance (complex)
L = plate feed choke value
Rc = series copper resistance of choke in Ohms
Cc = Coupling capacitor Value
Rg = Grid resistor value
w = frequency in radians, equals (2 pi freq)
j = the square root of -1
Then:
1
Zl = ----------------------
1 1
-------- + ---------
Rc + jwL 1
Rg + ----
jwCc
If you need the magnitude of the complex load impedance, just take the
square root of the sum of the squares of the real and imaginary parts of
the impedance. This all assumes you are handy with arithmetic on complex
numbers. Hope I didn't type too fast and make a mistake, but I am sure
someone will catch the mistake if I did.
Regards,
John Byrns
In article <1dkq2w0.jx...@ts01-037.limerick.indigo.ie>,
an...@indigo.ie (Andre Jute) wrote:
> How is the effective load on a choke loaded plate calculated?
>
> For the sake of example, let us say Rp is 2100 ohms, the choke has 164
> ohms copper resistance, and that the reactance of the choke's inductance
> of 30H is 5652 ohms at 30Hz, and there is a following grid resistor of
> 50K.
>
> TIA.
>
> Andre
> --
> Andre Jute
> an...@indigo.ie COMMUNICATION JUTE
> --we support pages for music lovers, writers and audiophiles at
> http://indigo.ie/~andre/ComJuteF1.html
Ron Bales
>
> How is the effective load on a choke loaded plate calculated?
It's on your website.
ROn
Andre Jute
For the sake of example, let us say Rp is 2100 ohms, the choke has 164
Henry A. Pasternack
: How is the effective load on a choke loaded plate calculated?
Ask Bill May.
-Henry
TubeGarden
I am using the primaries of SE OTs for the plate load of VA, driver and power
tubes.
The choke plate load is Very Effective :-)
Happy Ears!
Al B^}
Al Marcy
TubeG...@aol.com
Andre Jute
>This all assumes you are handy with arithmetic on
>complex numbers.
Don't worry about me and complex numbers. I just put the simple numbers
in an Excel spreadsheet and let it calculate the complex numbers--and
draw me a picture. When the curve on the graph has a pleasing curve, I
build it. In particular, I have a spreadsheet that calculates the
complete transfer function for one or two voltage amp stages right down
to phase shift. You can imagine how easy that makes life.
This choke loaded tube looks into this, with the cap, to be determined
later when I decide how much of an operatic bump I want to give the
bass, presently just a nominal value:
Fffecive load impedance on choke loaded tube
Z1 5558 Ohms
Known
L 30 Choke, henries
Rc 164 Copper resistance of choke, ohms
Cc 0.2200 Coupling cap, uF
Rg 100 Grid resistor following, Kohms
f 30 Frequency, low, Hz
w 188 in radians (=2 pi frequency)
j 1 Square root of -1 see pp 139-140 RDH4
It's sorta the same as running it over a 5K6 SE OPT tranny, which is
convenient as I'm using a power tube as a driver...
Andre
John Byrns <jby...@enteract.com> wrote:
Hi Andre,
Then:
Regards,
John Byrns
In article <1dkq2w0.jx...@ts01-037.limerick.indigo.ie>,
an...@indigo.ie (Andre Jute) wrote:
> How is the effective load on a choke loaded plate calculated?
>
Andre Jute
> Yup.
You'll get me into the divorce courts, Al. At 5am I burst out laughing
aloud when I saw this.
>
> I am using the primaries of SE OTs for the plate load of VA, driver and power
> tubes.
Wasteful, though that is what I will do too, in the absence of IST or
plate chokes big enough to handle so much current.
>
> The choke plate load is Very Effective :-)
>
> Happy Ears!
> Al B^}
>
>
> Al Marcy
> TubeG...@aol.com
Andre
Bob C
<1dkq7ic.glu...@ts01-037.limerick.indigo.ie>...
>You, John Byrns, are a prince.
And you are his Princess...
--
come visit http://www.communicationjute.com
"...an unbeelievably comprehensive web site containing vital quotes by Andre
Jute." Admiral Robert Edwin Peary, North Pole Audio Society Newsletter
dang...@earthlink.net
Which effectively says it all.
Regards,
Dangerdave
On 28 Dec 1998 02:34:01 GMT, tubeg...@aol.com (TubeGarden) wrote:
>Yup.
>
>I am using the primaries of SE OTs for the plate load of VA, driver and power
>tubes.
>
TubeGarden
John Byrns
an...@indigo.ie (Andre Jute) wrote:
> This choke loaded tube looks into this, with the cap, to be determined
> later when I decide how much of an operatic bump I want to give the
> bass, presently just a nominal value:
I always wondered what the proper technical term for a low frequency bump
was, now I know, it's an "operatic" bump, cool. Is there a name for a
high frequency bump?
Regards,
John Byrns
fdeu...@blackrock.com
an...@indigo.ie ("Dr." Andre Jute) wrote:
> f 30 Frequency, low, Hz
> w 188 in radians (=2 pi frequency)
> j 1 Square root of -1 see pp 139-140 RDH4
Dang, now *THAT* is funny! I mean, you just cant make this stuff up!
-frank, wondering if this rather colossal "typo" doesnt explain the RealMcCoy
firestarter debacle....
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
Blair
Andre Jute wrote:
>
> How is the effective load on a choke loaded plate calculated?
>
> SNIP
> Andre Jute
> an...@indigo.ie COMMUNICATION JUTE
> --we support pages for music lovers, writers and audiophiles at
> http://indigo.ie/~andre/ComJuteF1.html
--
Hi Andre...I have no idea how to answer your question but I just wanted
to say that
I think the way some of the participants in this ng dump their hostility
on you is quite immature. I just don't get it - what a waste of energy.
At this point in my life I think that we're hear to learn as much as we
can. Anything else is pointless. OK, so maybe you published a design
that isn't technically superb (I have no way of knowing anyway). So
what? Like, who cares? Let's keep trying new ideas.
I see you like smoked salmon. We had some fantastic British Columbia
Spring salmon this week. Slightly firmer texture than Atlantic (Scottish
or Norwegian) smoked salmon and not salted like gravlax. It's so good
I'm thinking of setting up a
website! Last spring I had some candied smoked salmon at the
Wickanninish Inn on the west coast of Vancouver Island. They smoke it
down on the beach and told me that it was an ancient native people's
preparation. Yum.
Check out this link and look under Resorts to find out more about
Wickanninish Inn and Vancouver Island.
http://www.island.net/~surfer/page13.htm
As the brits say, keep your pecker up.
Best regards,
Blair T. F. Roger
Contributor, Audiophilia Online Magazine
Andre Jute
> In article <1dkq7ic.glu...@ts01-037.limerick.indigo.ie>,
> an...@indigo.ie (Andre Jute) wrote:
>
> > This choke loaded tube looks into this, with the cap, to be determined
> > later when I decide how much of an operatic bump I want to give the
> > bass, presently just a nominal value:
>
> I always wondered what the proper technical term for a low frequency bump
> was, now I know, it's an "operatic" bump, cool. Is there a name for a
> high frequency bump?
>
"Goosebumps"?
After a extensive research project (methodology and footnotes follow) I
have discovered that at Philips in Holland they refer to an HF bump as
an "alt", same root as alto, what you and I would call a counter-tenor.
Come to think of it, wasn't Bessel, the man who defined the flat Q, a
Philips employee? Maybe I'm not making a joke above, maybe it is true!
Andre
--
Andre Jute
> OK, so maybe you published a design
> that isn't technically superb (I have no way of knowing anyway).
Oh, the circuits are good, and the whole idea of a modular amp on the
same iron has been called "brilliant" by those who count. All that
happened is that I drew the schematics in a hurry and posted them to the
NG for proofreading before they go into my book. These pimply louts once
made a flamewar when I said the sun shone in Ireland. If I sneeze, they
claim I caused a flu epidemic. If I post some circuits with typoes
specifically to find the typoes, it suits them to scream that I am
incompetent. (Hell, I'm surprised that the little arseholes, having
discovered what I did, haven't yet started screaming that I am a greedy
manipulator --or maybe I just haven't heard of it yet.) You can safely
put them in your killfile without missing anything worthwhile. I have.
>So
> what? Like, who cares? Let's keep trying new ideas.
Exactly. But some people's entire self-esteem rests on a few electrical
facts they know; you can understand why they wield their little bit of
knowledge like a club to get attention: they have nothing else to
commend them.
According to research. the characteristic internet flame merchant is a
lonely, pimply twelve year-old. Once one understands that, one is well
positioned to pity the Magnequest Mob rather than to be irritated by
them.
> I see you like smoked salmon. We had some fantastic British Columbia
> Spring salmon this week.
I live on a salmon river, the Bandon. It is more than my life is worth
to admit that salmon from anywhere else even exists, never mind that it
could just possibly, in a leap year, taste right! <G>
But in return for your candied salmon, a novelty I have never even heard
off and am very glad to know, I'll swap you stinkfish. I found out about
this one when I researched my book Iditarod, which is about the
eponymous race in Alaska. It is a delicacy of the Eskimo. Take a batch
of raw but cleaned salmon, dig a hole in the snow, pack in the salmon,
separating the fish with pine branches, stack stones on top because
wolves and other raptors also consider stinkfish a delicacy, leave until
the spring, dig up. It smells terrible--hence the name--but once you
have regurgitated your first few mouthfuls, it tastes great. It just
falls out of the skin and off the bone. Wonderful energy. Huskies work
harder on this food than on anything else. It is the gorgonzola of
salmon.
Your note proves something important: that those who are into tube amps
are generally speaking cultured people, that there is more to tube amps
than technicalities. I really do regret that we have so few music, food
and automobile threads--look at the fine quality of the christmas music
threads, or just count the guys here who have owned or still aspire to
own a Citroen SM (the finest, if most infuriating, automobile ever
designed), or who can cook well.
dang...@earthlink.net
>Andre Jute wrote:
>>
>> How is the effective load on a choke loaded plate calculated?
>
2 * pi * f *L is the plate load.
The Rp of the plate is in parallel with this (to a first order
approximation), forming the driving source impedance..
The source impedance drives an external load. The external load is
calculated like any other load, R, C, R||C, R||Miller Input C,
etc..
Regards,
Dangerdave
Blair
Blair wrote:
>
> Andre Jute wrote:
> >
> > How is the effective load on a choke loaded plate calculated?
> >
> > SNIP
>
> > Andre Jute
> > an...@indigo.ie COMMUNICATION JUTE
> > --we support pages for music lovers, writers and audiophiles at
> > http://indigo.ie/~andre/ComJuteF1.html
>
> --
> Hi Andre...I have no idea how to answer your question but I just wanted
> to say that
> I think <snip>
Hello everyone:
Due to some of the feedback I've received on the posting by me previous
to this one, I feel obligated to point out that the opinions expressed
are mine alone and in no way reflect on Audiophilia, the online magazine
to which I am a contributor.
Blair
fdeu...@blackrock.com wrote:
> Blair, the problem is not that Andre's amps aren't "technically superb"; the
> problem is that the designs as posted are downright lethal and destructive!
> Worse, the schematics were posted as being fit for newcomers, and Jute (who
> calls himself "Dr Jute" on his website) presents false credentials in
> promotion of himself and his "products". In fact, the schematics were so bad
> and so dangerous that a former contributor to the project, Per Lundahl,
> forced Andre to remove the Lundahl name from the designs.
>
> Of course, all of this is not all that surprising.... A few years back, in a
> post on JoeNet, Jute gave some advice on grounding that could have proved
> lethal. And a few months later, Jute posted a schematic for a 1kV+ power
> supply to JoeNet; however, that power supply design also contained a fatal
> flaw: not only was it a screwy design, but it also had a dead short! Of
> course, those who pointed out the error were treated to the usual
> Jute-tantrum, but in the end, Jute was run off of JoeNet.
>
Clearly, no one could possibly condone this sort of irresponsibility on
Andre's part.
Best regards,
Blair
fdeu...@blackrock.com
Blair <bro...@interlog.com> wrote:
> Hi Andre...I have no idea how to answer your question but I just wanted
> to say that
> on you is quite immature. I just don't get it - what a waste of energy.
> At this point in my life I think that we're hear to learn as much as we
> that isn't technically superb (I have no way of knowing anyway). So
> what? Like, who cares? Let's keep trying new ideas.
Blair, the problem is not that Andre's amps aren't "technically superb"; the
problem is that the designs as posted are downright lethal and destructive!
Worse, the schematics were posted as being fit for newcomers, and Jute (who
calls himself "Dr Jute" on his website) presents false credentials in
promotion of himself and his "products". In fact, the schematics were so bad
and so dangerous that a former contributor to the project, Per Lundahl,
forced Andre to remove the Lundahl name from the designs.
Of course, all of this is not all that surprising.... A few years back, in a
post on JoeNet, Jute gave some advice on grounding that could have proved
lethal. And a few months later, Jute posted a schematic for a 1kV+ power
supply to JoeNet; however, that power supply design also contained a fatal
flaw: not only was it a screwy design, but it also had a dead short! Of
course, those who pointed out the error were treated to the usual
Jute-tantrum, but in the end, Jute was run off of JoeNet.
(As an aside, I note that it is rather saddening to see that having been at
this hobby for something on the order of four or more years, Jute is *still*
making the same basic errors he did so many years ago. Then again, I guess
that just proves that hard heads will never learn, regardless of who is doing
the teaching: learning requires more than simple exposure or access: learning
requires a will to learn. Extending this thought, one wonders if this group
has any place in learning at all: those who have the will to learn will
already have done so, and those that lack the will to learn simply can't be
helped.... (Ack: HP))
It is unfortunate that Jute has taken to posting his wretched and dangerous
designs to this group and the web since being forcibly removed from JoeNet.
However, to me the bigger issue is the one of trust: Jute is deliberately
misusing his ability to publish, and, by publishing bad and dangerous
*untested* designs, he undermines the trust in all others who post
responsibly; further, by falsifying his own credentials, he undermines the
whole concept of credentials and identity. In short, Jute's behavior
threatens the very fabric of the net community.
Who can you really trust anymore in this group or on the web in general? Who
is posting lies for personal gain; who is posting lies because they have an
ax to grind; who is posting truth? Without an EE degree or a bevy of
experts, how can you tell the truth from the fiction? After all, words are
free, and several people here write well.... A world without peer review is
a very dangerous world for the uninformed -- and doubly so when someone is
deliberately misusing their access to that world for personal gain.
So, hey, apologies for the flamewar, but to let Jute post his dangerous
nonsense unfettered is just too awful to even contemplate.
-frank, wondering what kind words Jute will have for the widow of the first
victim of a Jute design.....
Acrosound
>Oh, the circuits are good,
Good enough for folks to build?
>and the whole idea of a modular amp on the
>same iron has been called "brilliant" by those who count.
and who might that be? More invisible friends? Might it
be Mr. Beresford? Or Mr. May?
>All that
>happened is that I drew the schematics in a hurry and posted them to the
>NG for proofreading before they go into my book.
A world famous author of over six linear feet of first editions must slug
off his editing duties to volunteers on Rec Audio Tubes?
Interestingly, your posts announcing the circuits never had any content
about them being posted for free editorial help.
And, funny, how you slough off all your mistakes on "type'o" (pun intneded).
Didn't you say the same thing in regards to some technical errors you made
in a Glass Audio article that you wrote... maybee Frank D can recall the
details of that snafu...
>If I sneeze, they
>claim I caused a flu epidemic.
No... but funny that you claim that your "pen" is guided by the thoughts of
others... even if they be thousands of miles away. Now all the mistakes
and errors (and I gather from some of the more technically astute members
of this group there were *big* problems) are chalked up to the very same
people who came to your rescue. It was the Joenetter's who you consistently
attack who took the time and effort to help you out. What thanks do they get?
A kick in the shins? What's new?
>If I post some circuits with typoes
>specifically to find the typoes, it suits them to scream that I am
>incompetent.
Man... those "typoes" sure can be lifesavers, heh? And since your back to
posting on your website schematics that you need RAT's to complete for ya...
why don't you restore our faith in your greatness. Why not post up the
schematic
for your Type 33 amps. Surely these would show the world that your not just
spoofing or seeking out free help while claiming to be such a great designer.
You should consider this as a way to prove all your critics wrong. And, up
front, in fairness, if the Type 33 cannot be released for proprietary reasons
this
is a legitimate stance for you to adopt as well. But it sure would be nice to
see
something that you've *actually* created and have *actually* built.
What about posting some jpegs of those $200,000 a pair Lowther snailhorned
speakers which you designed all on your own and then sold two pair of before
they
went out of production? Where these ever reviewed by any of the independent
audio
review community?
>Exactly. But some people's entire self-esteem rests on a few electrical
>facts they know;
and others, just simply on making a bunch of false claims about all the
wonderful acheivements you've made in your lifetime. None of them
independently
verifiable of course. And apparently the state of journalism is such that one
now
needs to only make the claims for them to be accepted as truthful.
Tell the man (as you have told the rest of the world) about how you designed
the Chrysler
hemi head in the span of just a few weeks on an old vacuum tubed computer.
Did you tell the man the story of the "Killer Bee Saga"? Think an independent
journalist
could have an in-depth interview with Bill May--- the Technical Director of
Real McCoy?
Hopefully, the independent journalist would have enough sense to check ID's and
then do
some background checking on that fictitious entity.
>you can understand why they wield their little bit of
>knowledge like a club to get attention: they have nothing else to
>commend them.
Not in contrast to the TALL TALES which you have told. Andre the youngster who
was an aide to the Prime Minister of South Africa and worked one-on-one with
Nelson
Mandela for his release from prison some thirty years ago. Wonder if Nelson
Mandela
would remember these historical meetings.
>According to research. the characteristic internet flame merchant is a
>lonely, pimply twelve year-old. Once one understands that, one is well
>positioned to pity the MXgnequXst Mob rather than to be irritated by
>them.
Andre... I thought we all agreed that the new name for the helpful crew who
saved your butt on the Lundahl Jute circuits would be renamed the Volunteer
Rescue Squad? And that the circuits when perfected would be renamed with the
suffix "J" as a thanks to all those from Joenet who helped you out so
graciously.
> I see you like smoked salmon. We had some fantastic British Columbia
> Spring salmon this week.
I'll skip the small talk fishy stuff. The odor round here is more than just
fishy.
Andre Jute
> fdeu...@blackrock.com wrote:
>
>
>
> > Blair, the problem is not that Andre's amps aren't "technically superb";
> > the problem is that the designs as posted are downright lethal and
> > destructive! Worse, the schematics were posted as being fit for
> > newcomers, and Jute (who calls himself "Dr Jute" on his website)
> > presents false credentials in promotion of himself and his "products".
> > In fact, the schematics were so bad and so dangerous that a former
> > contributor to the project, Per Lundahl, forced Andre to remove the
> > Lundahl name from the designs.
> >
> > Of course, all of this is not all that surprising.... A few years back,
> > in a post on JoeNet, Jute gave some advice on grounding that could have
> > proved lethal. And a few months later, Jute posted a schematic for a
> > 1kV+ power supply to JoeNet; however, that power supply design also
> > contained a fatal flaw: not only was it a screwy design, but it also had
> > a dead short! Of course, those who pointed out the error were treated
> > to the usual Jute-tantrum, but in the end, Jute was run off of JoeNet.
> >
>
>
> Clearly, no one could possibly condone this sort of irresponsibility on
> Andre's part.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Blair
Hey, Blair, I hope you have your tongue firmly in your cheek.
Deutschmann's pronouncements contain on average three lies to the
sentence. This one, for instance: " A few years back, in a
post on JoeNet, Jute gave some advice on grounding that could have
proved lethal." refers to a list of grounding schemes that can be found
in any standard text (including some that I consider dangerous but that
are widely used in for instance PA systems). Furthermore, after months
of abuse from Deutschmann, he was forced to admit that his last
remaining quibble arose from a difference in British and American
terminology. Despite all that, we find the entire accusation levelled
again, as if I did not spend months refuting it inch by inch.
This sort of crap above is straight character assassination. It is a
fascist method.
Normally I don't bother refuting this sort of crap, but since you're new
here, all you have to do is wait a week and see how much of it there is,
and from whom, and to ask why the Magnequest Mob considers it necessary.
Andre
--
Bob C
I have been asked by some contributors to post the chapter I
wrote for my book 'How to be a Successful Wannabe' before
I decided I was cutting a rod for my own back and that of an
entire class of worthwhile people. It is long and utterly irrelevant
to tube amps, though you may if you wish substitute electronic
references where I use writerly ones; the principles are the same.
I post it complete with the introductory note given when I
tried it out on a group of professionals, some of whom
enjoyed it so much that after I cancelled the project they
stopped speaking to me, some of whom saw the
dangers and congratulated me sincerely on killing the
project for the common good.
How not to become a Timmie!
(Besides my novels, I write how-to books for other artists,
including standard references like Writing a Thriller which
Ruth Rendell described in The Times as 'a private godsend',
and about which others of you have been kind enough to write
me grateful notes. A few years ago I chaired an invitation only
meeting on 'How to protect yourself against fans and wannabes
over twelve hundred writers and illustrators sought invitations
and a scheduled single morning session was extended for
three full days and evenings, causing me to miss all the other
conferences. This is the draft of a chapter from my text book,
'How to be a Successful Wannabe', for which I got the idea
from recent correspondence on this board; a publisher loves
the idea, contracts are here, so here we go.
BE 'ANARTIST' WITHOUT EVER CREATING ANYTHING EXCEPT
DENUNCIATIONS OF YOUR LETTERS
I know one fellow who really wants to be an author Well,
actually, he'd like to be an artist of any kind. It doesn't
matter what sort. Understand, he doesn't have any creative
urge, or even ideas that itch for expression. what he really
wants to be is to be 'a somebody'. He's got this idea in his
head, perhaps because there were artists in his family,
perhaps because he sees pop intellectuals being interviewed
on the television, that artists are accorded respect beyond
that given to, say, council employees or accountants.
He wants to be an artist so badly, he has run the words
together, 'anauthor' .
Let's call him Timmie. Of course he has no talent. But that
is no inpediment to being 'anauthor' . Nor does he have the
discipline to write anything extended. But don't let that worry
you either. This chapter tells how even a Timmie can define
himself as an intellectual without the need ever to do any
intellectual work. First, get some kind of a career on the
fringes of the arts. Desktop publishing is good because you
can call yourself a graphic designer without bothering to be
trained or otherwise inform yourself. Public relations, especially
for television, is also good- Next, join some group where you
are likely to run into real intellectuals, preferably with achievements
to their name. Published books are good, as are plays, even musicals;
painters are okay but musicians insist on technical jargon that is a
bore to learn. Give architects a miss; most of them are unemployed
and unemployable. If you are short of ideas, check out Chapter 3
"Hanging Out Right, er,Left--PC Places and People"
Having chosen your forum, ingratiate yourself- Be a clown, tell jokes.
Don't for, god's sake, actually attempt any serious work; if and people
can use it to judge the quality of your mind, your career as an intellectual
will be finished before you have even started. Let it be known you
are working on a magnum opus but are too modest to let anyone see any
part of it. You will of course imply at every opportunity that one day the
world will be stunned by your brilliance.
After a while you will be a fixture. You will not have to prove that you
belong. Now, pick on some prominent fellow with real achievements.
Suck up to him with flattery before you launch your attack. Be absolutely
certain that there is no cause for the attack except your ambition; people
will be too embarrassed to point out you are acting from envy alone.
Above all you don't want to be involved in a real argument. The best sort
to pick on is someone too busy to fight back, preferably someone with
strong, consistent opinions- Dont for the time being attack the opinions,
instead pick on some personal aspect of the great man's feet of clay.
Does he lack modesty? Condemn him as a braggart. If he is modest,
attack him for hypocrisy. If he wears glasses, attack him for
shortsightedness. That is a good start.
Now demonstrate how ruthless you are by attacking without
provocation a member of his family, preferably a child. That should
frighten him badly enough to shut him up while you go your merry way.
If he is over thirty, attack him as 'an old tart' Now switch the attack.
If he has strong opinions, attack him for stubbornness. If he is always
reasonable, attack him for being indecisive.
If in selfdefense he makes an appeal to intellectual honesty in discourse,
immediately and repeatedly accuse him of being a snob.
You can pretend to find fault with his work. Read up some past criticism
bun don't get bogged down in serious argument. If he has solid achievement
it has survived criticism and you as a wannabe are by definition incapable
of bringing serious criticism of substantial work. The best compromise is
to find a set of criticisms so lightweight that the obvious lack of
enterprise is in itself an insult.
Tell a lot of brazen lies brazenly. Do not deign to argue the merits of
these lies when challenged. Simply think up some bigger lies and make new
charges. Or repeat old ones in slightly different words. Take a high moral
tone; claim to be making the charges as a public duty. Study the career of
Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's propaganda minister; Goebbels was the greatest
PR man of the century.
Make everything you say a personal insult. Nothing is more dangerous than
the facts. The minute you allow the facts to be discussed seriously, it will
become clear that you are in a card game where you haven't price of a
stake.
Now, of course sometimes you will pick badly and some intellectual
heavyweight will emerge languidly to maul your tender sensitivities. In
that case smile with boyish charm and say it was all a bit of a joke,
wasn't it. If he doesn't believe you, accuse him of lacking a sense of
humour.
Retire as gracefully as you can manage. Write a grovelling private letter
saying you were under stress because your mother is sick and you of
course apologize abjectly. Appeal to his decency to let it end right there.
That way you can survive to betray someone else upon another day.
Don't make the stupid mistake of attacking someone who has rolled
over you once a second time. Lie in wait for a softer touch. Sooner
or later you will find a weakling and you will by lying about him be able
to destroy his confidence. Then your name will be made. You will be
the man who destroyed X!s reputation. You will never have to do anything
so brow wrinkling and perspiration-breaking as creating something original.
For the rest of your life you can do what you are best at, pose as
something you are not.
CASE STUDY
Now let us take Timmie and spot the mistakes he made on the way to
perfection because he didn't buy my book and follow my rules precisely.
First, he picked on a fellow who had already demonstrated that he would
wipe his backside with impertinent snots. Next, the fellow Timmie picked on
has had so many careers, he cannot remember all his achievements
(he offers visitors an expanding rule to measure his hardcover first
editions
in shelf-feet, for instance) ; even a serious critical attack on some part
of
his work simply leaves him fall back on the prestige of the rest while he
brings the less than brilliant part up to scratch. This was insensitive of
Timmie. Wannabe artists must at least pretend to sensitivity, or if they
lack it be lucky enough not to be caught out this badly.
Timmie should have had the intelligence to pick on someone whose single
achievement or few achievements are treasured like children. It also helps
no pick on someone who doesn't already possess monumental self confidence.
Many artists of perfectly good achievement have poor self-image and they
are easier to reduce to snivelling wrecks.
Bad signs in your choice include high academic honours, high-level business
experience and competence; political experience; military experience;
sporting achievements at national or international level particularly in
contact sports but most especially in sports where people die like
auto-racing or competitive transocean yachting.
Don't let ambition lead you to fucking with someone utterly out of your
league, as it did to Timmie. You're not going to believe this: Timmie
picked on a guy to whom a government erected a statue in his own lifetime,
the most monumental confidence-builder imaginable. If by now you're
thinking Timmie is so stupid I must have made him up, believe me, I didn't.
he is real- And there are a multitude more like him out there. He's a
lowest. common denominator case.
Then Timmie picked on this heavyweight bruiser not once, but again after
he was warned off, three times in all. This is seriously stupid. You have
to finish the job the first time or give it up for good. Worse, he tried
his luck the last time after it had been cogently pointed out, and never
contested, that Timmie was acting purely from envy. Not too bright, our
Timmie, as you have already observed. But this is only where the nightmare
starts.
Next Timmie made the serious mistake of protesting too much. It became
quite clear that he was not acting from high-minded public duty but from a
desire to be precisely like the great man, or whatever his misconception of
this fellow was. He admitted as much through his attempts to vary his
attack. This is dumb. You must not try for literary excellence -if you had
any, you wouldn't be following this route--but ram the same simple message
home again and again.
Timmie made the appalling mistake of conceding that this fellow's
achievements were substantial and unassailable. Wrong! wrong
Wrong! A cleverer wannabe simply concludes that the works are in fact
assailable by someone of real talent but keeps quiet about it.
One trick all wannabes should learn before they try their luck is when to
shut up- Timmie was so impressed with his clever gush of meaningless
words he did not know there was a point where they would stop being
meaningless and start hurting him.
Timmie's list of criticisms was so slight they could not pass even as an
insult; it was too clear to everyone that he had tried hard and failed.
He made the worse mistake of panting eagerly to be thrown another titbit
from the table of the great man's creativity when the correct approach
would be avidly to devour in secret everything the great man made,
consumption to be announced only when serious shortcomings were
discovered. discreet secrecy otherwise to be maintained with a lofty
disinterest expressed publicly at every opportunity.
Timmie is of course a good argument for permitting genetic scanning
and abortion of fetuses too low on the food chain to be anything but
a burden on society, but even Timmie could have succeeded if only he
had followed rny guidelines carefully.
Don't be a smartass and end up like Timmie, a well-known arsehole
and butt of cocktail party sniggers, the original for the sneering
admonition
'Don't be such a Timmie. He used not to be invited because of his pushy
personality, now he is not invited because everyone knows he's a no-talent;
an arsehole and a three-time loser.
If you were smart enough to modify the rules you wouldn't need this book.
Trust me.
Andre Jute