> HISTORY'S GREATEST MYSTERIES:
I thought that said HISTORIES, GREATEST, MONSTERS and wondered why the hell
they were doing a show about Jimmy Carter every week.
>
>
> What did you watch?
Hey, thanks for asking!
Bit by bit my streaming apps are all failing me. Some just don’t work, like
pee +. Others are starting to charge ala carte to watch anything. Some are
burying the programming in commercials. Two or three have lost watch list
and search functions, so they are basically unusable. And almost all of
them have lost any interest in showing you the next episode of a TV series
and instead just bounce to something random. So I decided to just let it
happen for a while and see what I end up watching.
War of the Worlds.
I’ve been letting the DVR gather these, since they’re showing in completely
random order, until I had the first couple episodes, which are the ones
with the ships from the movie. My god, this is a horrible show. Writing,
acting, directing, effects, it’s all like a bad SNL skit.
Boston Strangler.
On the Hulu, which barely has any programming of interest anymore. If it
wasn’t free, I’d cancel it.
This was just ghastly. They shot the whole thing with zero depth of field
so it’s three hours of people talking and everything in front and behind
them is out of focus. And in fact, the depth of field is so narrow if they
even turn their head, they lose focus on it. But at least they have shifted
it all to a horrid blue green overall hue for some reason. Almost nothing
happens involving the strangler, instead, it focuses on all the pig men
folk, being nasty to the two women who are the only reporters in the world
that care. By the end we find out that all the men police got it wrong, and
that Tony Curtis was innocent. Keira Knightley is just painfully thin. And
at the end they tell us that after the movie was over she dumped her
husband who was constantly supportive of her in every possible way. Because
men suck.
Submarine Seahawk.
I deliberately watched some Stargate SG ones that were being talked about
in other threads like the one with Bobby Phillips dancing. Interestingly on
Amazon they are SD and 4:3 aspect ratio. But over on Pluto, they are HD and
16:9 aspect ratio and the wide looks pretty good, like maybe they were shot
intending this. But the services bounced me around a couple times, as if
they didn’t all have every episode. Then they finally jumped me over to
Submarine Seahawk, a 1950s black and white World War II movie shot in a
bathtub with tiny models and featuring incredibly improbable action. I used
to watch stuff like this on TV when I was about six years old. Then, for no
reason I can possibly imagine it dumped me over to:
3 Days to Kill
From 2014, Kevin Costner plays a spook who marries wonder woman’s mother
and breeds Hawkeye’s daughter. He’s recruited by a very thin very brunette
Amber Heard. He’s got some hideous disease that’s going to kill him
horribly and only she has the cure. Directed by McG, who’s directing style
is basically to assemble random stuff and have somebody else stick it
together for him. The evil villain is known simply as “the albino“
Now, why do you think they call him the albino?
Think about it for a moment
Ready?
They call him the albino because he doesn’t have a single hair on his head.
Blink.
Blink, blink.
They should have called him The Alopecian
All I can figure is that the people that made the movie didn’t know what an
albino was. Not one of them.
Serbia stands in for Paris.
And then the next thing that started up was:
White House Down
I’ve seen other variations of this movie where the bad guys are trying to
take the White House and the heroic (in this case would be) Secret Service
agent must save the day. It wasn’t bad, I just can’t imagine why anybody
thought I should see it. With the alien from earth final conflict as a
human! And a redhead that Ian likes.
Then it asked me if I was still watching TV. Because I said, yes, it
started
The Darkest Minds.
Almost all the children of the world die, and the ones that don’t get super
powers and a evil government made up of adults puts them all in training
camps. I don’t know what the hell happened or why and I fell asleep and
didn’t bother to go back and watch the end of it again.
So then it started playing
News of the World
This is a very strange film, starring Tom Hanks, as an ex- pastor, either
immediately after the Civil War or five years after the Civil War (I’ve
heard it both ways), who is now eeking out a living as a newsreader, going
to towns, presumably full of people that can’t read, and reading the
newspapers to them for a dime a head. He does do some commentary and acts
out parts and makes it into a little show.
Then he picks up the classic blond child captured by Indians, who looks
disturbingly like that retard Greta, and decides to find her kinfolk. This
results in them traveling everywhere, and it turns into a Monty Python film
without the laughs, because every single place they go instantly has a
horrible and often life-threatening disaster. And it ends exactly like you
think it’s going to.
Death in Paradise
Continuing to squander my tax dollars, my PBS station has this scheduled
all over the place all week, playing the episode where Ben Miller gets
killed, and the worst cop shows up and stays.
>
> --
> Let's go Brandon!
>
>
--
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is still on my list.