SNL reruns this week (Nov 2-8)
Frank Serpas III
Below, find this week's schedule of reruns of Saturday Night Live,
along with episode summaries taken from the SNL Episode Guide, which
is available at SATURDAY NET (http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html).
To receive this information weekly via e-mail, send the message
subscribe snlreruns
to majo...@lists.io.com (leave the "subject" line blank).
~~~
The NBC episode for this Saturday night (02-Nov-02) is new:
02d Eric McCormack / Jay-Z
In some markets, it will be followed by a "classic" episode:
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90d Patrick Swayze / Mariah Carey
...............................................................................
cold: Dirty Square Dancing- at a hoe-down, (host) & (JAH) do all but go down
mono: host sings "All I Need Is A Girl" & dances with wife Lisa Niemi [real]
show: Pumping Up With Hans & Franz- Franz has unexplained feelings for host
skit: Ghost romance sours when Sam (host) sees Molly's (VIJ) disgusting habits
comm Sam Walton (PHH) offers $100,000 to anyone who opposes a tax hike
comm Super Feud- Latino crooners (host) & (DAC) one-up each other on album
comm rescinding previous deal, Sam Walton (PHH) now offers chance to win a hat
song musical guest performs "Vision of Love"
news AWB warns that not voting in elections can only make things worse
skit: sexy (host) & flabby (CHF) compete for a job as a Chippendale dancer
show: The Tonight Show- guests are Susan Dey (JAH) & Arsenio Hall (CSR)
show White Trash Bed & Breakfast- reviewer (DAC) visits the trailer park clan
song musical guest performs "Vanishing"
skit: a seminar for people who don't quite grasp the concept of a mouse trap
~~~
The following 60-minute versions of SNL episodes will air on
Comedy Central (CC) & E! Entertainment Television (E!); all times EST...
Sa 02-Nov-02
8:00am CC xxx Best of EDM
1:00pm CC 91t Woody Harrelson / Vanessa Williams
2:00pm CC 90s Delta Burke / Chris Isaak
3:00pm CC 98j Bill Paxton / Beck
4:00pm CC 93h Charlton Heston / Paul Westerberg
5:00pm CC 99e Garth Brooks
7:00pm CC 99p Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera
10:00pm E! 01f Billy Bob Thornton / Creed
Su 03-Nov-02
12:30pm CC 00r Pierce Brosnan / Destiny's Child
Mo 04-Nov-02
noon CC 99q Tobey Maguire / Sisqo
2:00pm CC 93q Kelsey Grammer / Dwight Yoakam
3:30pm E! 75s Madeline Kahn / Carly Simon
6:00pm CC 97s Matthew Broderick / Natalie Merchant, Tenacious D
7:00pm E! 01q The Rock / Andrew W.K.
8:00pm CC 97p Julianne Moore / Backstreet Boys
9:00pm CC 99b Heather Graham / Marc Anthony
11:30pm CC 96e CSR / The Wallflowers
1:00am E! 75j Buck Henry / Bill Withers, Toni Basil, The Blues Brothers
2:00am CC 95p PHH / Gin Blossoms
Tu 05-Nov-02
noon CC 88r Geena Davis / John Mellencamp
2:00pm CC 95l Danny Aiello / Coolio
3:30pm E! 77o Christopher Lee / Meat Loaf
6:00pm CC 96m CHC / Live
7:00pm E! 78f Carrie Fisher / The Blues Brothers
11:30pm CC 95g Anthony Edwards / Foo Fighters
1:00am E! 79q Strother Martin / The Specials
1:00am CC 90c George Steinbrenner / The Time
2:00am CC 90d Patrick Swayze / Mariah Carey
We 06-Nov-02
noon CC 93k Sara Gilbert / Counting Crows
2:00pm CC 89t Candice Bergen / The Notting Hillbillies
3:30pm E! 77d Charles Grodin / Paul Simon
6:00pm CC 95i Madeline Kahn / Bush
7:00pm E! 01e Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
11:30pm CC 98e DAS / Eagle-Eye Cherry
1:00am E! 77h Miskel Spillman / Elvis Costello
1:00am CC 92f Michael Keaton / Morrissey
2:00am CC 91b Jeff Daniels / Color Me Badd
Th 07-Nov-02
noon CC 93j Jason Patric / Blind Melon
2:00pm CC 91q Sharon Stone / Pearl Jam
3:30pm E! 76f Buck Henry / The Band
6:00pm CC 00p Alec Baldwin / Coldplay
7:00pm E! 77f Buck Henry / Leon Redbone
11:30pm CC 96j Kevin Spacey / Beck
1:00am E! 78p Richard Benjamin / Rickie Lee Jones
1:00am CC 93a Charles Barkley / Nirvana
2:00am CC 92l Luke Perry / Mick Jagger
Fr 08-Nov-02
noon CC 94q DAW / Dionne Farris
2:00pm CC 92q Jason Alexander / Peter Gabriel
3:30pm E! 76s Elliott Gould / Kate & Anna McGarrigle, Roslyn Kind
6:00pm CC 97q Steve Buscemi / Third Eye Blind
7:00pm E! 01n Jon Stewart / India.Arie
1:00am E! 77n Jill Clayburgh / Eddie Money
2:00am CC 94h Alec Baldwin / Beastie Boys
3:00am CC 94e Sarah Jessica Parker / R.E.M.
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75j Buck Henry / Bill Withers, Toni Basil, The Blues Brothers
...............................................................................
cold: suicide hotline worker (CHC) takes a fall while trying to field a call
mono: on-screen crawl lists people the producers called before settling on host
skit: Samurai Delicatessen- Futaba makes a sandwich for Mr. Dantley (host)
show: Presidential Foreplay- affair claimant (GIR) confuses Nixon with Kennedy
skit: press secretary Ron Nessen (host) & Ford (CHC) begin Operation Stumblebum
song: Bill Withers performs "Ain't No Sunshine"
comm: poor reader Evelyn Woodski (LAN) advertises her speed reading school
news: CHC's midnight call to Angola reaches janitor (GAM) at 6:00am
COMM: roll-on Germasol air freshener removes foul odors without aerosol
news: CHC mocks Henry Zuckerman (host) during his anti-masturbation editorial
news: dead ALZ helps CHC repeat the top story for deceased viewers
skit Citizen Kane (DAA) II- a search for meaning of his post-"Rosebud" words
misc Scred & Peuta try to figure out how their new Japanese sex device works
COMM Triple-Trac {rerun}
song Toni Basil performs "Wham Re-Bop Boom Bam"
skit: auto mechanic (DAA) tells his daughter (GIR) bedtime car repair stories
misc: drug user (CHC) misuses a joint- "Why do you think they call it 'dope'?"
FILM by Gary Weis; host looks for the funniest person in Irvington, New York
song: Blues Brothers Jake (JOB) & Elwood (DAA) perform "King Bee" with SNL Band
misc MOD does impression of Mike Douglas having long needles plunged into eyes
COMM Wrigley's gum {rerun}
comm: neighbors' euphemisms about (host)'s constipation make him uncomfortable
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75s Madeline Kahn / Carly Simon
...............................................................................
cold: blues organist Reagan (CHC) blows his hip image by calling (GAM) "boy"
mono: host musically expresses gratitude for gifts she's received from her mom
comm: Wilderness Comedian- a movie about Shecky Adams (JOB), fauna entertainer
show Not For Ladies Only- Baba Wawa (GIR) & Marlene Deutschland (host) talk
skit: (host) tells fellow slumber partygoers (GIR), (JAC), (LAN) all about sex
comm Namibian (GAM) solicits donations of fondue sets for his country
misc Mighty Favog says he can deliver the Beatles if the Muppets return to SNL
song: Bride Of Frankenstein (host) & SNL Band perform "I Feel Pretty"
news: CHC's report on an Italian earthquake consists of an amiable phone chat
news: CHC solicits samples for a study of marijuana's effects on memory
comm Rosie (JAC) recommends Super-Absorbent Dry Hose as leg moisture remedy
news: Emily Litella sees nothing wrong with there being "violins" on television
news: for viewers that are cows, CHC repeats the top news story via moos
SONG: musical guest performs "Half a Chance"
SONG: musical guest performs "You're So Vain"; CHC plays cowbell
skit: an account of the stormy final days of the Nixon (DAA) White House
FILM by Gary Weis- sports fan footage with Ray Charles' "New York's My Home"
skit: (JOB) promises Ms. Mulwray (host)- "I Will Follow Him" through Chinatown
misc host & GIR imitate ice cream-eating baby & parakeet, respectively
song host performs "Lost In The Stars"
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76f Buck Henry / The Band
...............................................................................
cold: trick-or-treating Land Shark gets (GIR) on Halloween
mono: host unconvincingly argues that the SNL cast is made up of normal folks
skit: Samurai Stockbroker- Mr. Dantley is worried about his investments
show: Not For First Ladies Only- Betty Ford (JAC) & Rosalynn Carter (LAN)
misc GAM's family history research uncovers some famous Morris relatives
skit: Debate '76- Carter (DAA) & Ford (CHC) compete in a beauty pageant
NEWS: Carter's heart lust admission featured prominently in unreleased Ford ad
NEWS: Carter's unreleased ad consists of Ford's pardon of Nixon
comm: the Super Bat-O-Matic '77 is the witch's aid for blending magic potions
news: JAC reads faux story about CHC replacing Johnny Carson on Tonight Show
news: CHC receives a phone call from the late Generalissimo Francisco Franco
news: picture of Ford with "evil" mustache contradicts CHC's impartiality claim
song musical guest performs "Life is a Carnival"
song musical guest performs "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down"
song musical guest performs "Stage Fright"
skit The OintMENt- a search for the real parents of devil child Damian (JOB)
FILM "It's Halloween Tonight" by Gary Weis- host is made up to look female
misc: GAM reports from Houdini's grave on the 50th anniversary of his death
misc: MOD tells a Least-Loved Bedtime Tale- "The Enchanted Thermos"
misc: GAM is rendered speechless after having seen Houdini's ghost
song: musical guest performs "Georgia On My Mind"
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76s Elliott Gould / Kate & Anna McGarrigle, Roslyn Kind
...............................................................................
cold: Leonid Brezhnev (JOB) parlays NBC Olympic coverage into Tonight Show spot
mono: JOB, host, BIM demonstrate the new dance craze- The Castration Walk
skit: Merkon (GAM) arrives from Remulak to check on Coneheads' progress
song Kate & Anna McGarrigle perform "Kiss & Say Goodbye"
show: You've Come A Long Way, Buddy- men talk about men's issues
news BIM uses sexual metaphors while covering anti-pornography rally
news: at Howdy Doody's funeral, LAN interviews his widow Debbie (GIR)
news: as a service to shut-ins, JOB explains the different types of weather
skit: at a resort, lounge singer Nick "Summers" (BIM) works unresponsive crowd
comm United Face Bank- Joan Crawford (JAC) solicits donations for the faceless
FILM by Gary Weis- "America the Beautiful" plays over sports fight footage
song Kate & Anna McGarrigle perform "Heart Like a Wheel"
skit automated teller machine subjects (BIM) to pointless security tests
skit: restaurant of Jason & Sunset serves animals that died of natural causes
song Roslyn Kind performs "I'm Not Anyone"
FILM a man learns his wife is having an affair with a toy clown
COMM: Pilson's Feedbag Dinners {rerun}
misc: at closing, DAA informs viewers that he needs tanks for his motorcycle
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77d Charles Grodin / Paul Simon
...............................................................................
cold: having missed dress rehearsal, host is surprised to find that SNL is live
COMM: Weekend Update reporter DAA works overtime, but doesn't accomplish much
skit: neighbors (BIM) & (GIR) investigate Coneheads' odd Halloween treats
misc host's long-winded set-up leaves little time for chase scene clip
song: musical guest performs "Slip Sliding Away"
show: Consumer Probe- Irwin Mainway promotes some unsafe Halloween costumes
misc BIM plugs Anyone Can Host Contest while MOD disqualifies entries
skit: Samurai Dry Cleaners- Futaba's antics cause host to break character
news: NBC Dancing N hands DAA a filler bulletin as an excuse for dancing
news: BIM criticizes one-man theater for being cheap
news: silent DAA mimes news stories for silent film buffs
news: FBI agent (GAM) refutes claims of Jimmy Hoffa's skeleton being found
misc host as Art Garfunkel & musical guest try to do "The Sound of Silence"
misc Art Garfunkel [real] halts host's pitiful "Bridge Over Troubled Water"
skit: host's unpreparedness ruins skit about trick-or-treating Killer Bees
misc: JOB & GIR confront host about his absence at rehearsals
skit young girl Judy Miller (GIR) pretends to star in her own television show
comm The Professional School of Football can make you a pro athlete, says GAM
song musical guest performs "You're Kind"
comm: host speaks on behalf of incompetents like Roseanne Roseannadanna (GIR)
misc host finally gets to sing his song about his feelings about life
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77f Buck Henry / Leon Redbone
...............................................................................
misc: The Waltons Eat Their Young will not be seen tonight
cold: the Anyone Can Host Contest finalists meet GAM, GIR, host
mono: the Anyone Can Host Contest finalists give their qualifications
COMM: Little Chocolate Donuts made JOB's decathlon world record possible
skit: Samurai Psychiatrist- Futaba helps Mr. Dantley with parental issues
skit: director Brian Whitney (BIM) has actor Howard (host) abuse a stunt baby
comm: the AMOA ensures that motel bathrooms are "sanitized for your protection"
song: musical guest performs "Champagne Charlie"
news: artist's renderings illustrate how the genetic messenger determines sex
news: LAN cursorily interviews the Anyone Can Host Contest finalists
news: DAA & JAC ask Baba Wawa questions about Anwar Sadat's visit to Jerusalem
skit (GIR)'s train ride to Kiev involves yesterday-today-tomorrow confusion
show The Rickey Rat Club- host & Ratketeers spend Anything Bad Can Happen Day
misc ALF & TOD narrate a montage of images documenting their history
skit Jackie Onassis (GIR) realizes TOD is choking, not playing charades
FILM: by Gary Weis- the Anyone Can Host Contest finalists try to influence host
song musical guest performs "Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone"
FILM: "Life After Death" by TOS- "take a number, be seated" experience recalled
misc: at closing, DOP reminds viewers to submit Anyone Can Host Contest ballots
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77h Miskel Spillman / Elvis Costello
...............................................................................
misc: How The Grinch Raped & Strangled Christmas will not be seen tonight
cold: JOB ushered host into SNL's drug culture by giving her a joint
mono: Buck Henry [real] introduces host, winner of the Anyone Can Host Contest
COMM: Meat Wagon toy ambulance attends to gruesome slot car racing accidents
comm: LAN says the self-conscious & the extremely obnoxious should go on dates
misc: JAC narrates a variant of The Gift Of The Magi enacted by (JOB) & (GIR)
song: musical guest performs "Watching the Detectives"
news: JAC calls Dan Aykroyd fan Carter (DAA) during meeting with Menachem Begin
news GAM does a Point Of View about whites using blacks as scapegoats
news BIM is disappointed in Miracle On 34th Street's ambiguous stance on Santa
news: NBC Dancing N is revealed to be Emily Litella
news: Emily Litella's editorial about the "sst" landing in NYC drives JAC crazy
news: JAC rings out recently-deceased New Year's Eve bandleader Guy Lombardo
show Sartresky (DAA) & Hutch (JOB)- philosopher cops handle hostage situation
misc: ALF sings a tribute to parents Joe & Phoebe [real], then gets mad at them
show: E. Buzz Miller's Art Classics- paintings of naked broads on display
skit college student (JOB) introduces elderly girlfriend (host) to his parents
skit: drunk department store Santa (BIM) enjoys vetoing girl's (GIR) wish list
skit LAN sings Madam Butterfly aria while MOD makes a Soiled Kimono
song: musical guest performs "Radio, Radio" after aborting "Less Than Zero"
misc: at closing, host's granddaughter [real] joins her on-stage
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77n Jill Clayburgh / Eddie Money
...............................................................................
misc Bowling For Medicine will not be seen tonight
cold: leprechaun-suited GAM sings "Danny Boy" while his message scrolls by
mono: host promises to have a good monologue if she's invited back a third time
COMM: Royal Deluxe II {rerun}
skit: a new waitress (host) quits her job at the Olympia Cafe
skit: Sybil III- therapist (host) believes (JAC), (GIR), (LAN) are same woman
show Bad One-Man Theater- five simultaneous portrayals in An Evening With...
song: musical guest performs "Baby Hold On"
comm: Nutrifix intravenously delivers instant breakfast & amphetamines
news: LAN's interview with mine inspector (ALF) is cut short by a cave-in
news: Roseanne Roseannadanna wanders from income tax to bad odors
skit: on an airplane, (host) sees that (JOB)'s myopia has disillusioned him
skit: Richard Herkiman & wife reunite bickering couple (JOB) & (host) in shower
skit: Prymaat discovers Beldar is having an affair with student driver (host)
show Celebrity Crack-Up- Tony Orlando (BIM) & others discuss their problems
song musical guest performs "Two Tickets to Paradise"
misc host sings an amusing song about relationships
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77o Christopher Lee / Meat Loaf
...............................................................................
misc: 101 Dalmations Get Run Over By 101 Moving Vans will not be seen tonight
cold: NBC wants new Grizzly Adams star JOB to change his name to Kevin Scott
mono: host doesn't take part in horror films that aren't up to his standards
comm The Island of Lost Luggage- traveller's (LAN) bags missing in horror film
comm: The Thing That Wouldn't Leave- horror film about awful party guest (JOB)
comm Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Rogers- Vincent Price (DAA) has dual role in horror film
skit: Baba Wawa & speech therapist Henry Higgins (host) in My Fair Lady redux
song: musical guest performs "All Revved Up & No Place To Go"
news: JOB makes a mess while using a toy supertanker to illustrate oil spills
news: for kids, JAC & DAA sound out terminology of Sesame Street writer strike
news: through a process of elimination, BIM makes his Oscar picks
news: DAA & JAC debate whether to do Point-Counterpoint during Weekend Update
skit: grim reaper Mr. Death (host) explains his role to little girl (LAN)
comm Anwar Sadat (GAM) asks viewers what he should do following a raid
FILM "Cold As Ice" by Gary Weis- a woman tortures Stacy Keach [real]
comm: enjoy a roto-broiled lagomorph meal at Dell Stator's (DAA) Rabbit Hut
skit: vampire hunters (host) & (JOB) try to kill off Nixon's (DAA) memoirs
misc Richard Belzer [real] does impressions of Mick Jagger & Bob Dylan
song musical guest performs "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"
FILM "Mr. Bill Goes To The Circus" by Walter Williams- 3-ring dismemberment
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78f Carrie Fisher / The Blues Brothers
...............................................................................
cold: musical guest performs "Soul Man"
mono: Obi-Wan Kenobi (DAA) guides host as she tells a Star Wars-themed joke
skit: Princess Leia (host) is a Beach Blanket Bimbo From Outer Space
skit: members of the Loud family (BIM), (JAC), (GIR), (host) disturb the peace
skit Mercy Killers- orderlies (DAA) & (BIM) euthanize the wrong patient (GAM)
news: Father Guido Sarducci shows depositor gifts offered by the Vatican Bank
news: Roseanne Roseannadanna wanders from quitting smoking to sauna sweat
song: musical guest performs "Got Everything I Need, Almost"
song musical guest performs "B Movie Boxcar Blues"
FILM: "Mr. Bill Goes Fishing" by Walter Williams- Mr. Hands helps catch a whale
show: Tomorrow- cheerful Linda Blair (host) reflects on her rocky adolescence
skit Marseilles barfly Brandy (host) sells a sailor (BIM) on mutual funds
show Bad Red Chinese Ballet- New York Yankee (GAM) represents imperialism
FILM "Roman Holiday" by TOS- woman has fun despite death of her husband
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78p Richard Benjamin / Rickie Lee Jones
...............................................................................
cold: DAA gives a sub (Marvin Goldhar) tips on how to do absent JOB's bits
mono: away from wife Paula Prentiss, host kept company in NYC with GIR
skit: The Pepsi Syndrome- Carter (DAA) is irradiated; Rodney Dangerfield cameo
skit Todd hopes to score with Lisa at his brother Milt's (host) apartment
NEWS BIM reports on Chico Escuela's (GAM) attempt to rejoin the Mets
news BIM makes his Oscar picks in his usual cavalier fashion
news: Roseanne Roseanndanna travels from rising beef prices to gross seafood
song: musical guest performs "Chuck E's In Love"
FILM "A Bird For All Seasons" by Aviva Slesin- fancy feathered-friend fashions
skit: Scottish restaurant charges (host) & (LAN) extra for basic amenities
COMM: Little Chocolate Donuts {rerun}
song: musical guest performs "Coolsville"
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79q Strother Martin / The Specials
...............................................................................
cold: Rosalynn Carter (LAN) encourages illegal aliens to take part in census
skit: Cool Hand Luke (BIM) rebels against French language camp director (host)
song: musical guest performs "Gangsters"
news: G. Gordon Liddy (TOD) barbecues & eats his hand during a LAN interview
news: Chico Escuela has advice for Muhammad Ali & baseball players
news: TOS drawings ape NBC video captioning of tonight's top story
skit: (host)'s children view their departed dad's variety show-style video will
skit at the weekly meeting of the Conductor's Club, it's business-as-usual
skit Invasion of the Brain Snatchers- Reagan pods turn liberals conservative
song: musical guest performs "Too Much, Too Young"
skit Any Town- nameless residents are prejudiced against new coach (BDM)
FILM: "Food" by Edie Baskin- photographic essay of various NYC eateries
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88r Geena Davis / John Mellencamp
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) gives a status report after his first hundred days in office
mono: in style of a French chanteuse, host sings a song about being miserable
show: The Bob Waltman (KEN) Special- celebrity tears make interviews successful
show alterations to Snow White story were made to avoid lawsuit from Disney
show: Attitudes- an interview with the owner of a vintage clothes shop (host)
song: musical guest performs "Pop Singer"
show: The Palmer Bunch- singer Robert (PHH) with his "Addicted To Love" models
news during review of Rain Man, MIM & BES help form each other's opinions
news DEM attempts to explain nuclear fusion using the Mouse Trap board game
skit: despite explicit warnings, idiots "rescue" people in suspended animation
song: musical guest performs "Jackie Brown"
skit potential game show models learn the essential gestures from (host)
skit: after the apocalypse, last woman (host) still won't date last guy (JOL)
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89t Candice Bergen / The Notting Hillbillies
...............................................................................
cold: in light of the budget deficit, Bush (DAC) now says "no huge new taxes"
mono: host is the focus of a Las Vegas-style production number praising "Candy"
skit: jealous Toonces abducts & impersonates (host)'s gifted driving cat Spunky
comm loser Craig Talbert (JOL) to women in thier 30's- "lower your standards"
show: The Tonight Show- guests are Jay Leno (KEN) & a 92 year-old woman (JAH)
song: musical guest performs "Railroad Worksong"
news AWB examines why racial tension in NYC continues to be a problem
show: Wayne's World- a fantasy summer romance with Garth's mom Hillary (host)
song: musical guest performs "Love You Too Much"
show Once Upon A Time- (MIM)'s sheep turds cheer up unhappy queen (host)
skit executive (host) insists on handling all menial office tasks herself
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90c George Steinbrenner / The Time
...............................................................................
COLD: in a dream, host manages the Yankees & plays every position on the field
skit: Middle-Aged Man counsels (JAH) on whether her husband is having an affair
skit: convenience store owner (host) can't bring himself to fire any employees
show Slapped By Beaver Tails- guests relate run-ins with angry dam dwellers
COMM: Winston-McCauley Funeral Home has a no-necrophilia guarantee
song musical guest performs "Jerk Out"
news CSR believes boxing prowess is proportional to discrimination from whites
news Roseanne (VIJ) & Tom Arnold (CHF) explain National Enquirer lawsuit
skit Attack Of The Colossal Lincoln (PHH)- budget impass unleashes evil statue
misc: LOM & ALF explain to host why he's among dictators in a fake Slim-Fast ad
song musical guest performs "Chocolate"
show: What Was I Thinking?- Shelley Long (JAH), Walter Mondale (DAC), host
skit (host) insists on paying for fancy meals- it makes the others look bad
skit host hits on female reporter (JAH) complaining about a sexist ballplayer
FILM "The Vision Of Van Gogh" by TOS- astigmatism yielded most famous art
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90d Patrick Swayze / Mariah Carey
...............................................................................
cold: Dirty Square Dancing- at a hoe-down, (host) & (JAH) do all but go down
mono: host sings "All I Need Is A Girl" & dances with wife Lisa Niemi [real]
show: Pumping Up With Hans & Franz- Franz has unexplained feelings for host
skit: Ghost romance sours when Sam (host) sees Molly's (VIJ) disgusting habits
comm Sam Walton (PHH) offers $100,000 to anyone who opposes a tax hike
comm Super Feud- Latino crooners (host) & (DAC) one-up each other on album
comm rescinding previous deal, Sam Walton (PHH) now offers chance to win a hat
song musical guest performs "Vision of Love"
news AWB warns that not voting in elections can only make things worse
skit: sexy (host) & flabby (CHF) compete for a job as a Chippendale dancer
show: The Tonight Show- guests are Susan Dey (JAH) & Arsenio Hall (CSR)
show White Trash Bed & Breakfast- reviewer (DAC) visits the trailer park clan
song musical guest performs "Vanishing"
skit: a seminar for people who don't quite grasp the concept of a mouse trap
*******************************************************************************
90s Delta Burke / Chris Isaak
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) proves that he's in good health despite having Graves' disease
mono: a beauty pageant-like retrospective of host's week at SNL
COMM (JAH) tells how testosterone blocker Balz-Off made (KEN) an ideal husband
SHOW: Wayne's World- a dream sequence game of Truth Or Dare with Madonna [real]
show NRA Theatre- nightmarish scenario shows America under the Brady Bill
MISC Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on a cowboy literally loving the land
song musical guest performs "Wicked Game"
news: ADS does his half of a Mother's Day mealtime conversation
skit: Stuart Smalley & food group freak (host) attend a Weight Watchers meeting
skit: Ocean's Eleven outtake has Sammy Davis, Jr. (TIM) & Sinatra (PHH) gayness
skit bar patrons (PHH) & (KEN) stage revolt against karaoke machine hog (host)
song musical guest performs "Diddley Daddy"
show Coffee Talk- Paul Baldwin & ex-girlfriend (host) on java & baseball
skit women (host) & (JAH) interrupt their conversation to yell at their kids
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91b Jeff Daniels / Color Me Badd
...............................................................................
cold: Tonight Show- Johnny Carson (DAC) decides to cancel his retirement
mono: DAC quickly teaches host the eight standard SNL monologue moves
COMM: seed-containing Earthies diapers are environmentally responsible
skit: Richard Laymer faces name-manipulation competition from (host)
show: Community College Bowl- students are unable to answer easy questions
show: The Chris Farley Show- CHF recalls scenes during an interview with host
song musical guest performs "I Wanna Sex You Up"
news embarrassingly rich ALF reconciles his wealth with his political leanings
NEWS announcer's call of Bobby Thompson's pennant-winning homer is low-key
skit: boss (PHH) asks novelty item creator (host) about his unconventional gags
show Simon- drawings document summer camp infirmary stay & barbecue fire
show Real Life With Jane Pauley (JUS)- (host) is much dumber than wife (SIF)
song: musical guest performs "I Adore Mi Amor"
skit (DAC), (KEN), (host) hypocritically bad-mouth their supposed buddies
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91q Sharon Stone / Pearl Jam
...............................................................................
cold: Wayne's World- the annual Best & Worst of the Oscars are announced
mono: host keeps studio on edge by setting up for a Basic Instinct leg cross
COMM: Jiffy Pop Airbag {rerun}
skit: intimidated (CHF) & (ADS) babble while hitting on (host); JOL cameo
skit (KEN) can't lose himself in sex-game role playing with wife (host)
skit Toonces runs over Flippy The Flipping Chihuahua before driving off cliff
COMM Lung Brush {rerun}
skit: Basic Instinct interrogation scene doesn't discern sex of androgynous Pat
song musical guest performs "Alive"
news: ROS recounts escalating responses he got during his door-to-door survey
news: Queen Shenequa- "my ancestors' labor should exempt me from income tax"
news: newly-engaged VIJ sings "I Love A Cop" & does a handstand on the newsdesk
skit: male airport security guards abuse their authority & make (host) undress
skit shopkeeper (CSR) bombards his wife (ELC) with participle-based insults
comm (host) borrows Tayster's Choice Spermicidal Jelly from neighbor (DAC)
comm Phil Hartman Creations- PHH demonstrates the many uses of his wigs
comm Tayster's Choice Spermicidal Jelly borrower will repay neighbor later
song musical guest performs "Porch"
skit (PHH) & fiancee (host) come clean about their pornography-based lives
comm Tayster's Choice Spermicidal Jelly borrower meets neighbor at party
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91t Woody Harrelson / Vanessa Williams
...............................................................................
cold: The Tonight Show- late walk-ons ruin Johnny Carson's (DAC) last show
mono: after denying ego problems, host plays guitar & sings a song about SNL
COMM: Action Cats {rerun}
skit (host) encourages grotesque-bodied beachgoers to take off their shirts
show Sprockets- (host)'s EuroTrash theme park is a rebuttal to EuroDisney
MISC Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on having "impressions" during a math test
song musical guest performs "Save The Best For Last"
news: Super Fans offer tips to Knicks fans on what to do after the Bulls win
news: Operaman sings about Ross Perot, L.A. riots, Mark Messier, Johnny Carson
skit Pam, Di, Meg don't want to give their notes to Sigma Chi frat brothers
misc lonesome cowboys sing about how they're proud they're not minorities
misc Zoraida confuses host's Cheers & White Men Can't Jump roles with reality
skit: politically incorrect P.I. looks into abortion clinic vandalism
song musical guest performs "The Comfort Zone"
skit: The Sensitive Naked Man attends a baseball game with his son
skit: (VIJ) unwittingly sets examples of what expectant mothers shouldn't do
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92f Michael Keaton / Morrissey
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) personally calls campaign contributors to apologize for losing
mono: Audience McGee lectures host after fellow audience member (TOD) is tossed
COMM: nice interior & trashy exterior make Chameleon XLE a practical luxury car
skit: elevator operator (ROS) gives nervous trainee (host) tips on small talk
show: Gutenberg Awards- Billy Crystal (ROS) emcees publishing industry honors
song musical guest performs "Glamorous Glue"
news moron Hank Fielding (RBS) gets his facts wrong during election analysis
skit (host)'s attempts to join new co-workers' jokes come off as mean-spirited
skit: on a first date, (host) finds out that (JUS) is no longer a nymphomaniac
skit to facilitate makeout session, (host) asks (CHF) to occupy grandma (ADS)
song musical guest performs "Suedehead"
show Outweek- (host) & (DAC) don't limit celebrity exposes to homosexuality
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92l Luke Perry / Mick Jagger
...............................................................................
cold: Clinton (PHH) & Hillary (JAH) greet loonies, wrestlers, (Giorgio Armani)
mono: Obi-Wan Kenobi (PHH) counsels host on what to do on-stage
COMM: Chameleon XLE {rerun}
skit Prince Charles (DAC) abdicates to be Camilla Parker-Bowles' (JUS) tampon
skit: dumb yard boy (host) doesn't catch older woman's (JUS) sexual overtures
song musical guest performs "Sweet Thing"
news: Operaman sings about gays in the military & other current events
news: Mick Jagger (MIM) & Keith Richards (musical guest) debate censorship
skit: dwindling population of wish-granting magic fish is topic of town meeting
misc Michael Jackson (CSR) lip-syncs during the SNL Halftime Spectacular
song musical guest performs "Don't Tear Me Up"
show High School Liar's Club- contestants bluff to impress fellow students
show: Sassy's Sassiest Boys- Russell Clark (PHH) with impudent heartthrobs
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on the need for plane crash-site security
misc Queen Shenequa's Dark Moments in Black History- Super Bowl XXVII folly
skit country boy (host) tells folks (MEH) & (PHH) goodbye before leaving home
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92q Jason Alexander / Peter Gabriel
...............................................................................
cold: Clinton (PHH) makes an Indecent Proposal to Boris Yeltsin (CHF)
mono: host dresses like Peter Pan & performs a static version of "I'm Flying"
COMM Jiffy Express {rerun}
skit: Woody Allen's legal troubles are discussed at a meeting of his fan club
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on whether laughter is the best medicine
skit: workers at Hub's Gyros talk about (host)'s affinity for "the juice"
song musical guest performs "Steam"
news unattractive Bennett Brauer (CHF) explains why he's an audience turn-off
skit: grocery store employees (host) & (ROS) try to find sanctuary during break
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on the benefits of Earth being conquered
skit mob boss (host) repeatedly errs by having thugs release (TIM) prematurely
comm Ignorant Proposal- stakes lowered considerably in all-black version
MISC Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on what frightens ants the most
show Tales of Irony- three vignettes fail to contain any real ironic element
MISC Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on whether the desert is lifeless
song musical guest performs "In Your Eyes"
skit: changing traits make (host) repeatedly misidentify new black co-workers
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93a Charles Barkley / Nirvana
...............................................................................
cold: Clinton (PHH) tells what the health care plan will & won't cover
MONO: host goes one-on-one with Godzilla stand-in Barney
COMM: NCI Long Distance Company will do whatever you want to get your business
show Larry King (KEN) Live- divorcee Burt Reynolds (PHH) takes truth serum
show: Daily Affirmation- Muggsy Bogues [real] lends support to host
song: musical guest performs "Heart-Shaped Box"
news: Hollywood Minute- DAS gives his thoughts on summer showbiz happenings
skit: Gap girls Kristy & Lucy recall unpleasant experience with Skid Row [real]
show: Coffee Talk- Linda takes some calls on Yom Kippur
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on who would be better off dead
comm host's store offers clothes for big tall black males; Muggsy Bogues cameo
skit tribal art dealer (ROS) touts the weed-holding abilities of artifacts
show What's That?- contestants guess the sex of crossdressed men; RuPaul cameo
song: musical guest performs "Rape Me"
skit host stresses importance of human-ass cooperation in donkey basketball
TOON "Office Space, part 1" by Mike Judge- disgruntled worker Milton stews
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93h Charlton Heston / Paul Westerberg
...............................................................................
cold: host finds himself transported back to The Planet Of The Apes
mono: captured host tries to explain to audience monkeys- "I'm not a mutant"
COMM: Jonathan Pryce (MIM) shows off features of the Infiniti Q45 Toilet
show: Coffee Talk- Linda's goy boyfriend (host) wants to get married
COMM: the Infiniti Q45 Toilet has a non-stick finish to guard against caca
comm Gangsta Rap Dance Smashes!- just the album to liven up white partygoers
show The President (host) Is Illiterate- the executive's secret is revealed
song: musical guest performs "Knockin' on Mine"
news: Hollywood Minute- DAS says to Macaulay Culkin "you'll end up like me"
skit King Solomon Junior High's Career Day guests include false prophet (host)
COMM: other Infiniti Q45 Toilet features include a seat & a drink holder
comm in response to Brady Bill, host announces NRA's Five-Day Loaner Program
skit: stock boy (host) with 42 years of experience uses threats to keep his job
song: musical guest performs "Can't Hardly Wait"
skit: Dathan (ROS) says bad things about Moses (host) behind his back
comm Herlihy Boy (ADS) House-Sitting Service- Mr. O'Malley (CHF) lends support
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93j Jason Patric / Blind Melon
...............................................................................
cold: Andrew Giuliani (CHF) acts up while dad (KEN) is inaugurated as NYC mayor
mono: host is less than thrilled to be on SNL; LOM asks him not to be a downer
show The NFL on Fox- John Madden (CHF) & Luke Perry (host) anchor at halftime
comm: The Road To Self-Improvement is Don Lapre's (DAS) word truncation scheme
song: musical guest performs "No Rain"
news KEN gives a subliminal commentary about excessive criticism of Clinton
skit Mister Intense (host) goes to a party & does the hokey-pokey
show: Coffee Talk- Richard Simmons [real] gives diet tips by singing Streisand
skit: Where's The Rest Of Me?- a hand model (host) copes after losing a finger
song: musical guest performs "Paper Scratcher"
comm: Herlihy Boy Dog Sitting Service- Mr. O'Malley & (host) beg "let him sit"
skit while riding a ski lift, (host) has a strange conversation with (KEN)
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93k Sara Gilbert / Counting Crows
...............................................................................
cold: Tonya Harding (MEH) whacks John Bobbitt (MIM) in the groin on Court TV
COMM HiberNol {rerun}
skit: (ROS) claims to be a girl, but his female roommates won't shower with him
show Simon- in the tub with dad's girlfriend's filthy daughter (host)
skit: Gap girls Kristy & Lucy hang out with boss Cindy (CHF) at Tater Junction
song: musical guest performs "'Round Here"
news: NOM thinks that there's too much figure skating on TV
news: SAS talks about stuff that happened to her during the week
show: Blossom (MEH)- dad's (KEN) proud she's having sex, but driving is out
misc a music video features Joey Lawrence (MIM) singing his hit song "Whoa"
misc ADS plays guitar & sings "Lunch Lady Land" amongst dancing cafeteria food
skit only EuroDisney can satisfy a sullen teen's (host) vacation requirements
show Rob Schneider's Girlfriend Theater- KEN & host act out her evilness
song: musical guest performs "Mr. Jones"
show 20 Questions With Bryant Gumbel (TIM)- host is repeatedly asked "Why?"
misc ROS apologizes to his girlfriend for the sketch earlier in the show
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93q Kelsey Grammer / Dwight Yoakam
...............................................................................
cold: Hillary Clinton's (JAH) investment advice- cattle futures yes, land no
mono: host denies he's wearing a wig until Sy Sperling [real] confronts him
COMM: Majestic Caribbean Cruise Line has it all, including Manute Bol [real]
show Inhibited Dance Party USA- the least introverted couple is (host) & (MEH)
skit Rudolph (KEN) & Andrew (CHF) Giuliani at a Yankee game full of foul balls
song: musical guest performs "Pocket of a Clown"
news: Mustafa Mohammed (TIM) says that today's problems are caused by whiteness
news: CHF & DAS offer takes on their spring break trip to Cancun
skit: 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea- Captain Nemo (host) tries to explain units
show: Sunday Morning with Charles Kuralt (NOM)- sex with women met on the road
skit Something Smells Good in Stinkville, part one- (host) & (ELC) sniff it
song: musical guest performs "Fast as You"
skit: Captain Jim (TIM) & Pedro (ADS) compete for a job at Foot Locker
misc: MMK tells how you can read more about Captain Jim & Pedro
MISC: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on braking after driving over a cliff
skit Something Smells Good in Stinkville, part two- it could be the sandwich
skit (host) & other manly guys sing "I Am A Man" from Iron John, The Musical
skit Something Smells Good in Stinkville, part three- the town name changes
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94e Sarah Jessica Parker / R.E.M.
...............................................................................
cold: incumbent Democrat (CSE) gives concession speech amidst GOP landslide win
mono ex-Annie host sings "Tomorrow" for loser Democrats, MIM & DAS say "stop"
COMM: Eterna Rest coffin mattress is well-suited for your loved one's remains
show: Good Morning Brooklyn- (host) & James Barone (JAM) offer local flavor
misc: host alternately sings duets with nice (MMK) & naughty (ADS) guitarists
song: musical guest performs "What's The Frequency, Kenneth?"
news: Gil Graham relates more of his hard-luck concert-going experiences
skit: Confucius (CHF) visits the abusive owner of a fortune cookie shop (MIM)
show: The Casting Couch- Robert Evans (MMK) gives starlet (host) showbiz lesson
song musical guest performs "Bang & Blame"
skit the Munchkins want nothing to do with accidental hero Dorothy (JAG)
song: musical guest performs "I Don't Sleep, I Dream"
misc BIM eulogizes the recently-deceased MOD
SKIT LAN sings Madam Butterfly aria while MOD makes a Soiled Kimono {rerun}
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94h Alec Baldwin / Beastie Boys
...............................................................................
cold: Joycelyn Elders (ELC) gets the hook after too much masturbation talk
mono: ADS & host relate positives caused by Canteen Boy-scoutmaster skit outcry
COMM Lexon Paradox {rerun}
skit Santa-believing parents (host) & (JAG) puzzle over their lack of presents
show: L.A. Breast & Penis- hospital's catch-all solution is cosmetic surgery
show: American tourist (CHF) is contestant on a high-stakes Japanese game show
song: musical guest performs "Sure Shot"
skit: Rookie Cop- barfing NYC policemen set off a vomit cascade in the city
show The Young & The Youthful- (host)'s idiot evil twin (host) replaces him
skit: (MMK) & (JAG) issue empty threats to very unruly kids during a long drive
song musical guest performs "Ricky's Theme" & "Heart Attack Man"
skit (JAG) is scarred for life when unsexy exotic dancer (CSE) gyrates for her
skit: (host) & (CSE) auction stolen celebrity items; Christian Slater cameo
MISC Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on what makes a jellyfish beautiful
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94q DAW / Dionne Farris
...............................................................................
cold: Judge Ito (MAM) reciprocates Alfonse D'Amato's racial stereotype
mono: DAW does stand-up about African Americans' undesirable job assignments
COMM: Bathroom Monkey {rerun}
skit: African American day campers' names come from dictionary & supermarket
show: Men On Film- Blaine Edwards (DAW), Roger Ebert (CHF), (David Alan Grier)
song: musical guest performs "I Know"
news: Jeff Foxworthy (DAS) tells you how to know if you're the Ebola virus
news: ADS tries to get recently-released Mike Tyson to beat up people for him
skit: (KEN) & (MOS) get drenched by excess saliva of jazz trumpeter (DAW)
skit: homeless Anton Jackson (DAW) testifies at the O.J. trial
show: Perspectives- the logistics of a black militant's (DAW) upcoming march
skit Cirque du Soleil performers (MAM), (CSE), (MOB) offer animal-free acts
MISC Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey- on how to keep mosquitoes away
comm Christopher Walken (JAM) endorses Skittles
song musical guest performs "Blackbird"
comm Tony Bennett (JAM) offers Tom Jones' (ADS) used underwear for sale
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95g Anthony Edwards / Foo Fighters
...............................................................................
cold Inside Politics- USA Bosnia policy prompts a conservative anti-war rally
mono: audience likes gimmicky ER-reject character Swabby (DAK) more than host
COMM: Grimaldi's Nativity scene baby Jesus annoyingly cries throughout holidays
show: The Joe Pesci (JMB) Show- he abuses Sharon Stone (NAW) & other guests
show: Nightline- Dr. Greene (host) & other doctors argue about health care
skit Mary Katherine Gallagher acts inappropriately at a wedding reception
news NOM's very nervous brother Gary (DAK) tries to tell some newsy jokes
song: musical guest performs "I'll Stick Around"
skit: singer G-Dog's (TIM) psychosomatism causes him to rethink his raunchy hit
misc: Spade in America- DAS relives a barroom father-son Thanksgiving reunion
show: Turning Point- (MAM) interviews a slightly loony Princess Di (host)
song: musical guest performs "For All The Cows"
show: The Hulk Hogan Talk Show!!!- wrestler's sub (WIF) attempts a serious show
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95i Madeline Kahn / Bush
...............................................................................
cold: Jay Leno (DAH) & other celebrities perform for USA's Bosnian troops
mono: host sings "Ain't Got No Home" in soprano & frog voices
COMM: Gansta Bitch Barbie {rerun}
skit: at a basketball game, Craig & Arianna do more unsanctioned cheering
COMM: macho weatherman John-John Mackey (TIM) lets storms know who's boss
skit: while in a giant bird's talons, (DAK) & (host) lay blame for predicament
show: Leg Up- Russian ballerina's (host) culture gap is eventually bridged
song: musical guest performs "Comedown"
news Bronx-born St. Nicky (COQ) tells how he became Santa Claus
skit Lucien & Fagin are bound by their antique shop's 90-day return policy
MISC Jack Handey's Fuzzy Memories- of putting his head out of the car window
misc: Spade in America- DAS gives his wish list for 1996
song musical guest performs "Glycerine"
skit: (WIF) & (host) express their love with clumsy, self-composed wedding vows
MISC Jack Handey's Fuzzy Memories- of responding to a family crisis
COMM: Old Glory Insurance {rerun}
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95l Danny Aiello / Coolio
...............................................................................
cold: Inside Politics- Steve Forbes (MAM) & Bob Dole (NOM) respond to questions
mono: at his insistence, host sings "Chubby Clementine"
skit: (host)'s spaghetti sauce comment starts cascade of violence at dinnertime
show: The Kevin Franklin (TIM) Show- he admits when he's wrong, which is always
comm: Time-Life presents a video collection of Valentine's Day arguments
skit: Althea bothers a Greyhound Bus driver (host) during a trip to Orlando
news Gary MacDonald struggles through some jokes about the GOP candidates
news NOM asks Larry Brown [real] why Dallas didn't cover Super Bowl XXX spread
song: musical guest performs "1, 2, 3, 4"
misc Spade in America- CHF does a Newt Gingrich impression & plugs Black Sheep
skit: weird insurance salesman (host) insists upon receiving Hi-C & turkey
song musical guest performs "Gangsta's Paradise"
show: Martha Stewart (NAW) Living- she tries to deny her New Jersey background
MISC Jack Handey's Fuzzy Memories- of getting his brother to jump off the roof
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95p PHH / Gin Blossoms
...............................................................................
cold Bob Dole (NOM) gets advice on his image from Charlton Heston (PHH)
mono: an identity crisis leads PHH to lock himself in his dressing room
COMM: BugOff roach trap {rerun}
show: Leg Up- Sinatra (PHH) talks about dalliances of a bygone era
skit: eager acting students follow Bobby Colsman's (PHH) oddball instructions
skit Roxbury Guys Steve (WIF) & Doug (CHK) Butabi seek dance partners at club
news: Frankenstein gives his opinion of a possible result of budget cutbacks
news: Jesse Jackson (DAH) protests the lack of Oscar recognition for blacks
song: musical guest performs "Follow You Down"
skit slow-to-react gunman (CHK) is assured that he's in control by cop (PHH)
misc: Spade in America- DAS does a Hollywood Minute on current cinema items
skit: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer- Cirroc defends a tobacco company executive
song musical guest performs "Memphis Time"
show Taddli (MAM)- pot-smoking talk show panel receives simpleminded reprimand
MISC: Jack Handey's Fuzzy Memories- of the car window {rerun}
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96e CSR / The Wallflowers
...............................................................................
cold: Bush (DAC) prepares Bob Dole (NOM) for his upcoming loss to Clinton (DAH)
mono: CSR does stand-up about Clinton & sexual harassment
COMM: to some, lack of medical evidence that Excedril relieves pain is a plus
show I'm Chillin'- Onski plugs I Ain't Tryin' To Hear That home pregnancy test
comm in Dole ad, woman (MOS), black guy (TIM), gay man (MAM) say "don't vote"
show: The Dark Side- Jesse Jackson (DAH), Tori Spelling (CHO), Mike Tyson (TRM)
COMM: Mark Russell's (MAM) Election Year Comedy Special features impish lyrics
show: Charles Grodin (DAC)- Abe Vigoda [real] & other celebrity guests opine
song: musical guest performs "One Headlight"
TOON: "Queen of Terror" by RBS- The Ambiguously Gay Duo thwarts Serena's scheme
skit Bob Dole (NOM) rehearses his mean-spirited victory & concession speeches
misc LOM tells NOM it's time to retire the Bob Dole impression
skit to his dad (CSR), college-educated (TIM)'s simple acts are affronts
skit music teacher couple Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) sing a pseudo-soul medley
COMM: Russell Simmons' Def Emergency Room Jam features foul-mouthed physicians
show Perspectives- Lionel Osbourne talks with Million Man Marcher (CSR)
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96j Kevin Spacey / Beck
...............................................................................
cold: John Cleese & Michael Palin [real] explain SNL's sketch ratings system
mono: while host sings, on-screen text says that he really is a psycho
show: Late Show with David Letterman (NOM)- repetition dominates the program
skit easy-to-get prescriptions show potential danger of medical marijuana laws
COMM: Star Wars 20th anniversary re-release contains unsuccessful screen tests
show Janet Reno's (WIF) Dance Party- she insists on hoofing to "My Sharona"
COMM: more Star Wars screen tests by celebrities that didn't appear in the film
news: NOM asks Courtney Love (MOS) about her role in The People vs. Larry Flynt
song: musical guest performs "Where It's At"
skit: Mr. Peepers refuses to behave for laboratory assistant (WIF)
TOON "X-Presidents" by RBS- superheroes Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush foil a plot
show: The Joe Pesci (JMB) Show- Al Pacino (host) & Rodney Dangerfield (DAH)
skit: Mr. Praline (John Cleese) returns dead parrot to (Michael Palin)'s shop
song musical guest performs "Devil's Haircut"
skit: home security technician (host) tires of Mrs. Attebury's (ANG) stories
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96m CHC / Live
...............................................................................
cold: Nightline- Madonna (ANG), Debbie Reynolds (CHO), Courtney Love (MOS)
mono: CHC brings his alleged family on-stage after thanking them for their love
COMM: Home Security Decoys {rerun}
skit: Clinton's (DAH) itinerary is dominated by petty money-making ventures
show: O.J. Simpson (TIM) emcees telethon to raise money for civil suit damages
skit Marty & Bobbi sing a coming-of-age medley at niece's 16th birthday party
COMM 20th anniversary re-release of Smokey & the Bandit contains a Yoda scene
show: Charlie Rose (MAM)- Goat Boy, Cow Man (CHC), others discuss legal system
news: COQ thinks that Clinton's infidelities should be no big deal
song: musical guest performs "Lakini's Juice"
skit news anchor (CHC) returns to the desk following a credibility breakdown
skit Zimmermans (CHK) & (CHO) spice up their marriage by playing "first date"
skit department store employees (WIF) & (CHC) peep at (MOS) in dressing room
song musical guest performs "Heropsychodreamer"
skit: newsstand owner Andrew (MAM) is obsessed with fog-penetrating Chopper 4
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97p Julianne Moore / Backstreet Boys
...............................................................................
cold: prosecutor Kenneth Starr (WIF) interrupts Clinton skit to subpoena DAH
mono: Gloria Stuart (CHO) performs Titanic scene to upstage Oscar rival host
skit: cultist (host) invites Margaret Jo & Terry to join sorghum farm compound
show: The Ladies' Man- (host) helps Leon show how to handle relationship stages
misc Kenneth Starr (WIF) interrupts SNL Band to haul off Lenny Pickett [real]
show: Barbara Walters (CHO) Oscar Special- Matt Damon (JMB) & Ben Affleck (CHK)
MISC: Kenneth Starr (WIF) interrupts The Lost Deep Thoughts of Jack Handey
song: musical guest performs "As Long As You Love Me"
show Pretty Living- joyologist Helen espouses her philosophy
MISC Kenneth Starr (WIF) interrupts a Heineken commercial to serve a subpoena
skit: nude model Terence Maddox (WIF) grosses out those trying to sketch him
TOON "Conspiracy Theory Rock!" by RBS- the news Media-Opoly is exposed
show Good Morning With Liza!- Gillian Anderson (host) & Joel Grey (CHK)
FILM Golords foil Canadian plot to make Alan Greenspan raise interest rates
skit shirtless Bible salesmen (WIF) & (TIM) lob non sequiturs at (host)
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97q Steve Buscemi / Third Eye Blind
...............................................................................
cold viewers choose between Lewis Lapham [real] & farcical Clinton (DAH) skit
mono: TIM, ANG, WIF unsuccessfully try to help host return to his improv roots
COMM: Xerox Assjet 790 {rerun}
skit: truly mad Hatter (host) ruins tea party of Alice (MOS) & Hare (John Hurt)
show: Morning Latte- to (host)'s dismay, Didi Conn's [real] Grease role snubbed
show: Goth Talk- the Prom of Doom is held in the high school boiler room
TOON: "Titey" by RBS- Disney's cheerful spin on Titanic uses celebrity voices
show Stuff We Made- (JMB) & (host) show their crappy & creepy constructions
news Reggie White (TRM) extends his offensive remarks to cover more groups
song: musical guest performs "How's It Going To Be"
show: Judge Judy (CHO)- (ANG) & hip-hop dance instructor (host) litigate
skit: volatile (host) interviews jobseekers (CHK) & (Natasha Henstridge)
COMM: I Took A Gay Guy To Prom- (ANG), (CHO), (MOS) remember their queer beaus
show Jim Halsey's (WIF) Truck Drivin' Museum- the Kenworth RX-40TD is profiled
MISC The Lost Deep Thoughts of Jack Handey- on crucifying via windmill
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97s Matthew Broderick / Natalie Merchant, Tenacious D
...............................................................................
cold: The Ladies' Man- Leon Phelps takes calls & puts Viagra to the test
mono: TRM & JMB favor host with their rendition of Godzilla sound effects
COMM: hormones & steroids included in Flex Speed Stick give you an animal edge
show: The View- the ladies fawn over George Stephanopoulos (host)
skit: Zimmermans take offense when neighbor (host) tries unambiguous foreplay
show Pretty Living- joyologist Helen & her seashell craftsman boyfriend (host)
COMM Regis Philbin [real] & men on the street angrily say "no Viagra for me"
news: COQ wants to see Clinton exercise executive privilege to the max
song: Natalie Merchant performs "Kind & Generous"
show The Celine Dion (ANG) Show- Shania Twain (MOS) & Gloria Estefan (host)
show: Tony Blair (host) hears British MPs' questions on Teletubbies & more
skit: (CHO), (host), (MOS), (WIF) think their prom limo ride is the coolest
song Tenacious D performs "The History of Tenacious D" & "Double Team"
show Comic Minds- the drug humor of Orbit (WIF) & Larry (TRM) was based on PCP
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98e DAS / Eagle-Eye Cherry
...............................................................................
COLD: DAS complains to his therapist (Brad Pitt) about the curse of fame
mono: DAS does stand-up about a polar bear mauling & the archetypal Cops perp
COMM the Mercury Mistress is the car you can both drive & have sex with
skit: Monica Lewinsky (MOS) & publicist (DAS) screen potential interviewers
COMM: Mack North (WIF) relishes victory in exorbitant post-election attack ad
show Accruing Equity & Making Hot, Sweet Love- finance & fornication mingle
COMM: Mack North accosts vanquished opponent Fred Peete (CHP) in a parking lot
skit: drill sergeant (WIF) aggressively solicits love-life advice from recruits
skit new dancer Kiwi (DAS) seems to have stolen Mango's magic; CSR cameo
COMM Mack North uses a Fred Peete mask to further rub in the election results
skit: kids' attempts to wish grandma "Happy Birthday" via phone displease (WIF)
news COQ analyzes the gifts given by Clinton to Monica Lewinsky
news: Hollywood Minute- DAS & lookalike hand puppet engage in celebrity gossip
song: musical guest performs "Save Tonight"
skit (DAS) ruins Felicity scene by also speaking Keri Russell's (MOS) part
skit Dr. Laura Schlessinger (ANG) berates callers to her radio program
skit: chaperone (DAS) lays down the ground rules for bachelor party attendees
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98j Bill Paxton / Beck
...............................................................................
cold: Newt Gingrich (CHP) & Bob Livingston (WIF) ask "What the hell happened?"
mono: castmembers douse host Carrie-style after he drops Sissy Spacek's name
show: The View- fired Debbie Matenopoulos [real] makes an eloquent exit
skit in an airport terminal, Marty & Bobbi serenade fellow stranded travellers
skit: Titanic director's cut has shake down of Rose (CHO); James Cameron cameo
show: Behind The Music- fall of Fat Albert (TRM) & The Junkyard Gang chronicled
news COQ comments on the degeneration of discourse in the Clinton scandal
news: Elizabeth Dole (ANG) resigned so she & Bob can party like it's 1999
song: musical guest performs "Nobody's Fault But My Own"
show: News Force- MSNBC program is cluttered by on-screen information overload
COMM: KCF Shredders {rerun}
comm overnight-delivery couriers vie for (ANG)'s business via sexy dance moves
skit Fantastic Voyage- tiny scientists like hanging out in president's penis
song: musical guest performs "Tropicalia"
show Extreme Hunting- Ted Nugent (host) welcomes Prince (CHK), shoots him
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99b Heather Graham / Marc Anthony
...............................................................................
cold: moderate (HOS) is born from DNA of Al Gore (DAH) & George W. Bush (WIF)
mono: TIM, WIF, CHP concoct ruses in order to expose themselves to host
COMM: Litter Critters molds let kids make fun toys out of cat crap
skit: on an airplane, (host) wants husband (WIF) to emulate Zimmermans' antics
show: The Ladies' Man- Leon & Rollergirl (host) review four porno movies
SHOW Where Are They Now?- a report on the post-SNL lives of Hans & Franz
show Bono (CHK), Busta Rhymes (TRM), Jewel (host) perform at NetAid
news COQ takes delight in trouncing a little girl in an education debate
news: HOS & COQ launch a Latin comedy explosion with Telemundo-style humor
song: musical guest performs "I Need To Know"
show Dog Show- (host) leads a seance to summon Mr. Rocky Balboa's dead mother
misc: LOM's promise not to do a Blair Witch parody turns out to be an empty one
song musical guest performs "That's Okay"
skit: Warren (CHP) & Fran (ANG) analyze three-way with their babysitter (host)
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99e Garth Brooks
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cold: NRA members celebrate gunman (HOS) after he shoots up their headquarters
mono: whereas host was smitten with Mango, Mango has a thing for Chris Gaines
skit: James Bond (CHP) informs former sex partners of his 107 venereal diseases
COMM: The Smurfs- cartoon imps are dramatized in star-studded epic miniseries
skit: Boston teens Sully (JIF) & Denise (RAD) videotape Hickory Farms job quest
misc: TRM tells host he thinks Chris Gaines is fruity, then bosses LOM around
skit plethora of Warner-Lambert execs nixes merger with American Home Products
skit ordering flowers for girlfriend via phone, (host) mulls message for card
NEWS: The Millennium- Darryl Dawkins is named Man Of The Millennium
news: MOS says Julianna Margulies is crazy for turning down $27,000,000 from ER
song: Chris Gaines (host) performs "Way Of The Girl"
skit host reveals that his Chris Gaines persona was a ploy to get with Mango
skit (host) will sell his soul for a hit song, but Lucifer (WIF) can't deliver
skit: department store employee Nadeen (CHO) tells customers to "simmer down"
COMM Royal Deluxe II {rerun}
skit ruinous newscast intro sequence devised by (WIF) has a kids show motif
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99p Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera
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cold: Bush (DAC) coaches son George W. (WIF) on how to be evasive
mono: host sings "Saturday Night Is The Loneliest Night Of The Week" & dances
show: Behind The Music- cowbell dominates Blue Oyster Cult recording session
misc going to commercial, J. Mascis [real] plays guitar
comm: Elian, The Cuban Boy!- stage adaptation of international custody battle
show: The Continental gets amorous when a lady arrives to retrieve her mail
COMM: wives sarcastically thank Viagra for restoring husbands' intumescence
show Jenny Jones (RAD)- audience member (host) imparts wisdom to panelists
news: Jacob Silj bemoans being afflicted with voice immodulation
song: musical guest performs "I Turn To You"
skit census taker (TIM) records apartment dweller's (host) crazy responses
show Sally O'Malley crashes the Miss Greenwood Hills Beauty Pageant
song musical guest performs "At Last" & "What A Girl Wants"
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99q Tobey Maguire / Sisqo
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cold: host reads the Studio 8H Rules to orphan castmembers
mono: audience member Keith (Adam McKay) isn't familiar with host's oeuvre
show: Jeopardy!- Sean Connery (DAH), Keanu Reeves (host), Hilary Swank (JIF)
misc going to commercial, Clarence 'Gatemouth' Brown [real] plays guitar
skit: Burger Castle employee Nadeen tells customers to "simmer down"
TOON: "Up Close With Geppetto" by RBS- Pinocchio humps interviewee Sharon Stone
show: Inside The Actors Studio- Dustin Diamond (host) on being Screech
skit Mrs. Attebury indelicately plies tennis pro's (host) institutionalization
news Angelina Jolie (MOS) & brother James (CHK) address relationship rumors
news for National Lingerie Week, Joy Lipton shows some boudoir fashions
song: musical guest performs "Thong Song"
skit: after three years of effort, yoga student (WIF) achieves self-fellation
FILM: "Stavenhagens Pawnshop" by Adam McKay- (Steve Buscemi) pays cash for food
skit store clerk (host) clues (ANG) to fiance's (WIF) porn proclivity
COMM: after nebulous pitch, Westlink admits "even we don't know what we do"
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00p Alec Baldwin / Coldplay
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cold: George W. Bush's (WIF) solo negotiation effort produced bad Chinese deal
mono: Clinton (DAH) mentors recently-divorced host by urging pursuit of females
COMM Reliable Investments broker (host) talks up market while he plummets
skit: Lynn (RAD) & Margaret Jo are in awe of Pete Schweddy's weiner
skit: lone Marine (host) tries to rally spyplane crew to attack China
show: Inside The Actors Studio- Charles Nelson Reilly (host) is feted
news TRM explains the circumstances behind Darryl Strawberry's non-kidnapping
news I Have An Opinion- JIF tries to analogize the China-spyplane situation
news TIF deconstructs & evaluates Hugh Hefner's young, blonde harem
news DAS & Kid Rock [real] trade respective Hollywood Minute & music roles
song: musical guest performs "Yellow"
comm Robert Goulet (WIF) & relatives (CHP), (host), (ANG) create bad theater
show: Tom Daschle (CHK) & Dick Gephardt (DAH) press conference tries too hard
comm: make your photo classy by electronically placing it into a brandy snifter
song musical guest performs "Don't Panic"
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00r Pierce Brosnan / Destiny's Child
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cold: George W. Bush (WIF) empathizes with daughter Jenna (Julia Stiles)
mono: host earns the grudging respect of vexatious Sean Connery (DAH)
COMM: Homocil {rerun}
show: Just Funnin'- Gemini's Twin welcomes expelled members (musical guest)
show: The Weakest Link- origin of Anne Robinson's (RAD) nastiness is revealed
skit: at Jeffrey's, style-challenged customers are made to feel inferior
song: musical guest performs "Survivor"
news: TRM thinks that he should be Lamont Bond, the first black 007
skit interviewee (host) is put off by (WIF)'s brutal treatment of employees
show The West Wing- episode content is influenced by Aaron Sorkin's drug use
FILM "Five Finger Discount" by Adam McKay- (MOS) shoplifts dogs for kicks
song musical guest performs "Emotion"
show: Bravery & Unity- WWII soldiers' combat memories comprise old stereotypes
skit casino daycare center treats kids to a Vegas-style floor show
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01e Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
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cold: George W. Bush (WIF) quells Muslims' misgivings by dispelling some myths
mono: host & overshadowed childhood friend MAR sing "Flashdance"
skit: at the Fall formal, Sully scoffs at Denise's friend's (host) troubles
show: Gemini's Twin & newest member (host) ride the wave of USA patriotism
skit: Mrs. Attebury is insensitive toward man of Middle Eastern heritage (CHK)
TOON by RBS; Michael Jackson's entourage tries to curb his pedophilic habits
misc going to commerical, Dr. John [real] plays piano
song: musical guest performs "New York, New York"
news TIF offers a pizza party to the first airport guard to catch a terrorist
news defiant Rudolph Giuliani (DAH) declares himself NYC mayor-for-life
news Jasper Hahn (HOS) completes drawings related to the war against terrorism
skit at dinnertime, gangsta-wannabe daughter (AMP) vexes irritable patriarch
skit: Mango & high school sweetie host recall "Summer Nights"; Matt Damon cameo
show Fiesta Politica- Donald Rumsfeld (DAH) is out of place at Telemundo show
MISC: My Big Thick Novel by Jack Handey- mauled by a lion in chapter 507
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01f Billy Bob Thornton / Creed
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cold: professorial Donald Rumsfeld (DAH) cows reporters during a press briefing
mono: castmembers' Sling Blade impressions irk host; Ashton Kutcher cameo
skit: at the first Thanksgiving, gay (host)'s flamboyance embarrasses Pilgrims
COMM E.P.T. {rerun}
skit: Nick Burns & his dad (host) humiliate users while fixing computers
show: Brian Fellow's Safari Planet- a goat & a miniature horse cause confusion
show Inside The Actors Studio- host is motivated to hunt James Lipton (WIF)
comm: Martha Stewart (ANG) Living- tips to put a patriotic spin on Thanksgiving
skit at a party, the fall of Kandahar inspires an impromptu jazzy dance number
news: exhausting press junket has left Harry Potter (RAD) unable to do magic
song: musical guest performs "My Sacrifice"
skit redneck (host) mulls the fate of the fenced-in area located in his yard
song musical guest performs "Bullets"
MISC: My Big Thick Novel by Jack Handey- tired of the Flannigans in chapter 702
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01n Jon Stewart / India.Arie
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cold: Dick Cheney (DAH) is concerned about networks' battle for David Letterman
mono: host does stand-up about late-night wars, NYC, gay rights, sexuality
COMM The Cheese Game- George Plimpton [real] pitches fun way to raise gourmets
show: Total Request Live- (host)'s genetically-engineered boy band makes debut
skit: Bloater brothers' dad (host) comes to rescue them from airport security
TOON: "Fun With Real Audio" by RBS- Colin Powell hallucinates a generation gap
show: Talkin' To The Stars- good girl RAD & bad boy TRM interview host
skit David Letterman (JER) & Ted Koppel (DAH) confer at telejournalists' party
news: in a terrible re-enactment, John McEnroe (CHK) reacts to cancellation
news: host almost gets his chance to be an anchor on network television
news: Drunk Girl sloppily relates Spring Break safety tips to TIF
song: musical guest performs "Video"
show Jazz Visions- spoons player (host) performs cuts from his sensual album
comm We Were Soldiers That Knew What Women Want- an odd Mel Gibson (host) film
song musical guest performs "Ready For Love"
MISC My Big Thick Novel by Jack Handey- mulling a cliff jump in chapter 677
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01q The Rock / Andrew W.K.
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cold: George W. Bush (WIF) tries to trump suicide bombers' martyrdom rewards
mono: host takes two punches in the face from CHK
show: Brian Fellow's Safari Planet- parrot spurs fears of identity theft
skit: Scorpion King (host) doesn't want to take whiny son (SEM) into battle
comm: Arthur Andersen now offers shady accounting to individual taxpayers
show: Hardball- Dick Armey (WIF), Pat Caddell (JIF), Paul Begala (CHK)
misc backstage, Drunk Girl & her equally-sloshed friend Pamm (host) accost SEM
skit on the subway, (MAR) musically disses loudmouth know-it-all Fred (TRM)
skit Nicole, The Girl With No Gaydar misreads patrons at a gay piano bar
news having bears rampage through his home inspires Gene Shalit (HOS) to pun
song: musical guest performs "Party Hard"
comm: duets album by Bigfoot (host) & stoned Neil Diamond (WIF) may not be real
show: America Undercover- trashy white couple wreaks havoc in an emergency room
song musical guest performs "I Get Wet"
misc new ditty by HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF encourages everybody to cool out
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Frank Serpas III ser...@io.com
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it's SATURDAY NET- http://www.io.com/~serpas/snl.html