What Did You Watch? 2022-06-20 (Monday)

[Ubiquitous]

On Juneteenth, I watched:

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000:
Shout Factory was playing MST3K all day

GLEN BECK

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000:
"Eegah". A giant caveman stumbles across modern civilization, then kidnaps a
teenage girl and her father. Wow, this was so bad but so fun! For starters,
the plot was simply clodhopper stupid. The soundtrack is about 30 seconds out
of sync, which only made it more confusing! OK, then show itself is matching
the movie, making it even funnier. The sound got back in sync for the closing
credits, only to slip again for the closing clip form the movie. Great work,
guys!

What did you watch?

--
Let's go Brandon!

[Ian J. Ball]

On 2022-06-21 08:30:41 +0000, Ubiquitous said:

> What did you watch?

soaps: GH - Fri's ep. The new guy, Cody, gets beaten up by Crime Boss
Selina Wu's goon at the poker game - Britt tends to his wounds
afterwards. NuDrew basically tries to seduce FauxCarly. Chase is an
idiot, and slugs Brook Lynn's former manager, and gets arrested and
will surely lose his cop job. I don't think anything else important
happened this episode.
DOOL - Mon's ep. Ava confronts Gwen in the clink - it seems that Ava
was the one who temporarily busted Gwen out of prison, but when Ava
accuses Gwen of having murdered RedAbby, Gwen never comes out and just
denies it. (Suspicious!!) Sarah is still having hallucination
freak-outs! including one at Nicole in this episode. Nicole and Eric
then inform Xander and Sarah of RedAbby's murder. (Sidenote: I think we
now have another very credible suspect in RedAbby's murder - it
wouldn't shock me if this is where they go with this, as I suspect the
Sarah actress does not want to stick around...) Lani is still freaking
out and hallucinating the spirit of a vengeful Ray!

In the Woods (Tubi) - Tubi is currently recommending this and "The
Surprise Visit". I thought this flick was a *lot* better than "The
Surprise Visit" - at least with this one, I wasn't sure where it was
going through large stretches.
The gist: A post-Millennial daughter, a middle-aged mom, and the
elderly grandfather go camping in the woods. They are warned off their
camping spot by an unfriendly land owner who says they are
tresspassing. But when they try to leave, they discover that their RV
is stuck in the sand, and grampa gets seriously injured in the attempt
to get them unstuck.
It then becomes a question of what to do - wait for the unfriendly
land owner to come back (and possibly shoot them!), or go and try and
find help? With Mom and Daughter bickering the whole time.
Lots more happens from here, which I don't intend to spoil. Suffice
it to say that I really had no idea where this flick was going through
long stretches, and some unexpected developments pop up in here.
My only complaint is that the ending doesn't really come to a full
resolution.
I did like that the post-Millennial daughter (Cristina Spruell) is
portrayed as mostly being an idiot!! ;) Though the Mom is about as
bad!

The Old Man (recorded) - "II" (ep. #2). This episode introduces us to
Amy Brenneman's character.
We get more background on what happened in Afghanistan with Young
Dan Chase - the show nails it again in casting an actor (Christopher
Redman) that sounds *a lot* like John Lithgow!
We meet Harold Harper's (Lithgow) FBI "team", which consists of his
protege, Angela Adams (Alia Shawkat, who's actually starting to look
old!), and his second, "Joe" (Kenneth Mitchell) who is in a wheelchair.
The CIA mucketymuck from "I" is still hanging around. And in this
one, Harper puts an assassin on Dan Chase's tail.
Dan Chase finds a place to rent to recuperate - he ends up renting
it from a middle-aged divorcee named Zoe (Amy Brenneman). She ends up
seducing a man who is almost old enough to be her father!! You just
know that Dan's troubles will soon be coming down on her!
There is also a "revelation" in this episode that was not
surprising, but was disappointing.

What Breaks the Ice (Tubi) - I actually thought this was decent, for an
"indie cred" movie.
This 2020 indie flick stars Sofia Hublitz (of "Ozark) and Madelyn
Cline (of Netflix's "Outer Banks"), though I suspect it was filmed
quite a bit earlier than that, as Cline is actually almost "chubby" in
this film, which leads me to think it was filmed before she started on
"Outer Banks".
Anyway, Cline plays the rich NYC'er teen "summering" in the upstate
NY, and Hublitz plays the townie. They strangely become fast friends.
But their friendship takes a left turn after an incident at a party.
I don't want to say more than that, to avoid spoiling.
The film starts with linear storytelling, but starts going nonlinear
after the "incident" to fill in the blanks, which I think mostly worked
here.
Anyway, for an "indie cred" movie, I thought this was better than average.

Undertow (Tubi) - OTOH, this 2018 Australian flick I didn't care for
much at all. I basically watched it because it costars Olivia DeJonge.
The primary star Laura Gordon, who plays Claire, a woman in her
thirties who begins the film by losing her full at-term baby while her
husband is at a party.
Claire later spies her husband with DeJonge's character, Angie, a
pregant teenager. (It was never clear to me whether Angie was an actual
hooker, or just trying to be a "sugar baby"...)
Anyway, Claire quickly becomes obsessed with Angie.
Nothing that happens in this film is pleasant (or particularly
interesting), and none of the characters are likeable, least of all
Claire and Angie.
P.S. There's lots of nudity in this film, but about 98.5% of it is
from Gordon, not DeJonge.


--
"Who would ever do this to him!?" - HottCiara on DOOL (04-27-2020), asking
who would stab Victor Kirakis... How about ANYONE WHO'S EVER MET HIM??!!

[Ian J. Ball]

On 2022-06-21 15:39:08 +0000, Ian J. Ball said:

> On 2022-06-21 08:30:41 +0000, Ubiquitous said:
>
>> What did you watch?
>
> soaps
>

> In the Woods (Tubi)

>
> The Old Man (recorded) - "II" (ep. #2).
>

> What Breaks the Ice (Tubi)
>

> Undertow (Tubi)

Forgot one:

The Outpost (recorded) - "The Pleasing Voice of the Masters" (ep. #4.8).
I guess Anim wasn't kidding when he implied that *everyone* dies in
this final season #4!
At Dred's relic temple, Talon fights the four "Gods" so that Luna
and Naya can escape. Tobin also teleports in to fight them. But, in the
melee, Luna gets seriously injured, and Talon is captured.
To get Tobin and/or Zedd to appear, they torture Talon.
Tobin, Naya and the injured Luna return to the Outpost. Janzo treats
Luna. Tobin and Garret order Janzo to destroy the "key" that they have
retrieved, but the Janzo resists. Luna can "hear voices" from the key.
Janzo gets more information from "313", and figures out that the
"Masters" (i.e. the "Gods") control "313's" race using the same
"podding" kinjs that Yavalla used on everyone back in season #3. But
"kinjless", "313" and his race are probably harmless. Also, the "key"
is the thing that will "wake up" 313's race.
Wren is jealous of Naya, but comes round. Naya then returns home.
Tobin rescues a tortured Talon, but there is a steep price to pay!!
The Gods indicate they are going after Zed next!
At the rate this show is going, no one (except maybe Talon) will be
alive by the final episode. >:|

[anim8rfsk]

Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
> On Juneteenth, I watched:

>
> What did you watch?

Hey, thanks for asking!

Offensive Juneteenth ads.

Last month there was an offensive don’t hate Asians ad which had two
unfunny women on stage just spouting nasty that would pretty much make you
hate Asians if you didn’t already. And yet they only aired it once.

Since then there was a really awful commercial with this nasty blonde woman
flapping her arms and screeching at her husband that he needed to call
about Medicare advantage (apparently she was incapable of working a
telephone herself). This guy needs a divorce, not better health insurance.
Now that one is still running but they’ve cut off the beginning where she
was flapping screeching at him.

Apparently they’re test running these things live and then backing off when
they get bad feedback. Whatever happened to focus groups?


THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN (2012)
Somehow I managed to never see this, or at least not see most of it. This
is the fourth live action SPIDER-MAN movie, and the second iteration of the
mythos starting with a new origin story (like they needed to do that) and a
new cast.

This is, frankly, not very good. It has so many bright spots in it but they
are just individual points of light buried in a sea of scenes that make you
ask what just happened. For instance there’s a rescue on a bridge where
half a dozen cars are left hanging from strands of webbing halfway between
the bridge and the water below. And they just forget about them. Did Peter
drag them all up before he left? Does his webbing in this version evaporate
and within the hour they all plunged to their deaths? Was 911 somehow left
to figure out a way to save these people?

The villain is the lizard who they re-designed to have a human face which
just looks stupid. They also made him twice as big as a regular person
which makes leaving him in a lab coat just stupid.

Here’s an example of the problems with the script. The guy who becomes the
lizard gives everybody that works where he does the week off so he’ll be
able to work on the formula in private. Then he moves all his stuff to the
sewer to work on the formula in private. Later Gwen goes to his lab in the
building not the sewer to make a cure which you can apparently do by just
taking a vial from the one cabinet and putting it in another and pushing
the button marked “make a cure“ and Spider-Man knows this even though she’s
the one who works there. Then he tells her to get out because the lizard is
headed for the lab (the one in the building not in the sewer) and she
refuses to leave until she has evacuated everybody from the building. The
building where everybody has the week off so that it would be empty. And
it’s night time anyway.

How does C Thomas Howell (!) possibly know where Spider-Man is going or
what he needs to get there and why does Spider-Man need all these beams set
up anyway and how is there possibly time to get crews back at night to do
this work?

The sequence were they somehow dump the lizard into liquid nitrogen on the
roof of the building so that Captain Stacy with his shotgun full of
unlimited rounds can keep blowing off the lizards frozen fingers which
immediately regrow was absolutely hysterical. Although I’m not convinced it
was intended to be.

Somehow after they cure the lizard they immediately throw him in prison
although I have no idea on what grounds because who the hell knows he was
the lizard? And he gets a huge cell where some creepy magic guy who is
involved in the conspiracy with Parker‘s parents can materialize and
dematerialize. It’s like Horatio Caine joined the illuminati.

Norman Osborn and J Jonah Jameson are spoken of but never seen.

Gwen Stacy has been re-purposed from the only daughter of an elderly
widowed police captain to having a young father, living mother, a bunch of
siblings, and living in some sort of fabulous penthouse that you have to
wonder how they afford on a police salary and that doesn’t go away after
her father gets killed. Is her mother somehow independently wealthy? I have
no idea why any of these changes are supposed to have improved the
character. Although anything would be better than the perverted filth
perverted filth maker J Michael Stracrapski would inflict on the character
later. Emma Stone is cute in the role although I’m not really sure she’s
Gwen Stacy. For some reason they have so much mascara on her that half the
time you can’t even see her eyes.

They’ve added back in the stupid side plot about Peters long dead parents
actually being secret agents that always seemed more like an orphan‘s
fantasy than something that should actually be in the narrative.

They’ve put Peter and Gwen in high school (although that’s completely
unclear until the next movie), a science Academy that has a lot of morons
so they can have a ball team. But this is pointless since they are seniors
and their high school days are all but over anyway.

The film is generally well cast, with Martin Sheen and Sally Field as uncle
Ben and aunt May. And then in a really bizarre roll Embeth Davidtz (my God
spellcheck knew her name) as Peters missing mother. Twenty years after
Army of Darkness! And on the old side to be the mother of a four-year-old
son in flashbacks. Unless they intend for her to turn up alive in the next
movie but that seems pretty unlikely. Not content with adding the spy
subplot they also involve the father with the spider research being carried
on by the lizard who works for Norman Osborn. Hey, it’s Jill Flint from
Royal pains as a receptionist! Talk about pretty but annoying!

Apparently somehow Spider-Man steals his web formula from Norman Osborn‘s
company but then claims to have invented it himself. At least they’re back
to the mechanical web shooters.

How the webs work as well as his stickiness and his spider sense comes and
goes and changes scene to scene.

But this Peter is a self-absorbed jerk both before and after the spider
bite.

They were still using a practical costume to present Spider-Man at this
point and I like that the costume actually has folds and fasteners and
looks like something that it would be almost possible for a high school kid
to build. But it makes it not match the CGI Spider-Man very well. Also
whoever chose for it to have black eye lenses was a complete idiot. Maybe
it was to match Gwen?

Gwen’s dad’s dying wish to Peter is exactly the opposite of what happened
in the comics.

The picture quality on the Prime was awful. But the ads for other movies
and such were fine so it wasn’t the connection or the app, they just have a
lousy print of this.

There are some nice scenes of web singing swinging through the city and
some that the effects team really booted.

I hadn’t seen this or it’s sequel. So I’ve got some catch-up to do but at
this point I think it goes down as the worst Spider-Man movie. It’s not
awful but it’s thumbs down if only just barely.



THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 (2014) on SQUIGGGGGGLE!!
I have no idea why squiggle is the only place this is available. The
picture is much sharper and brighter than it was on the last movie on the
prime but it’s also center cut out of the wide screen which is annoying and
of course it has commercial interruptions although that’s sort of bizarre.
You can see in the progress bar at the bottom that each commercial
interruption is much shorter than the one before and they just stop halfway
through.

Peter has a new, improved costume. And white eye lenses! To match, they’ve
scraped a pound or two of mascara off of Gwen and she actually does have
eyes under there.

Electro comes across as just stupid and chock-full of powers that I don’t
really understand how electricity gives to you.

Gwen moving to England actually is from the comics although filth pervert J
Michael Stracrapski ret conned it as an excuse to hide her accelerated
pregnancy by being pregnant by Peter who is the only guy she never had sex
with even though she was seen at the time swinging bare bellied and
decidedly unpregnant in the SavageLand because J Michael’s Stracrapski is a
completely sick creep.

https://comicvine.gamespot.com/a/uploads/scale_medium/6/67663/4259139-103.jpg

We get a frozen time segment where the camera flows around showing how all
these people are going to be electrocuted and Spider-Man saves them all
mostly by splattering them with conductive webbing and they are all
grateful to him for saving them even though nothing whatsoever happened and
there’s no way they could have known something might have happened
otherwise. All they know is that he splattered them with webbing which may
not ever dissolve. The only way they can possibly be grateful to him is if
they’re watching the movie right along with us.

Peter does a bunch of inexplicable experiments. Gwen does some inexplicable
computer searches.

Evil Osborn security chases Gwen around their building but doesn’t bother
to stop her at the lobby or follow her out the door or look for her once
she’s outside.

Norman Osborn finally shows up and almost immediately dies. Harry Osborn
shows up and almost immediately is dying. He somehow puts together a
connection between Parker and Spider-Man, the only possible way of which he
could have known is if he saw the first movie.

Only Spider-Man‘s blood can save Harry by safely replicating the experiment
that turned Curt Connors into the lizard in the first movie except that’s
not what happened at all.

For some reason somebody thought it would be clever to have a guy with a
thick metric accent named Dr. Kafka experimenting on the newly minted
electro.

Kafka submerges electro in liquid that not only does not short out his
electrical powers but does not cause him to drown.

Peter has developed into a full-blown stalker. Aunt May has developed into
a full-blown unlikable aunt.

They do a complete recon of what happened to Peter‘s parents from both the
first movie and what we’ve already seen in the second movie. May talks
about the funeral for the parents who up until now had just vanished. She
says that after the funeral government guys showed up and claimed he’d run
off with secrets. There’s no reason for anybody to have told her this
except to give her secrets to keep. Also she knows details about her
brother-in-law‘s life that she can’t possibly be privy to unless she’s
watching some other movie that I haven’t seen yet.

The whole “Harry needs Peter’s blood to save his life“ plot is reworked
from an early Spider-Man comic where May needed peters blood to save her
life. The only problem with that is that she was married to Peters fathers
brother and is in no way shape or form a blood relation to him.

Peter keeps finding new secret clues in his father‘s secret briefcase that
they repeatedly reestablish is, was, and always will be completely empty.

Harry’s beautiful assistant tells him she’s overheard the secrets that the
spider venom is hidden in the building. Apparently the spider venom can be
used instead of the spider blood. Harry does the search and immediately
finds that the spider venom is not hidden in the building. Evil Osborn
security shows up and announces all their plans to Harry and various thugs
and Harry’s beautiful assistant who is obviously not on their side and kick
Harry out of the building.

Parker investigates the secret Roosevelt subway station that he found from
the hidden clues inside his father‘s briefcase which is, was, and always
will be completely empty. This place is completely and totally 100% secret
even though you can Google it right up on Al Gore‘s Interweb. I think
there’s a possibility it’s where Lex Luthor‘s hideout was. The empty
briefcase luckily included secret magic tokens to open the secret magic
door that’s actually apparently hidden under the third rail to make
imminent death almost certain. A secret magic subway car rises from the
tracks chock-full of secret magic computer equipment and the video diary of
peter’s father implicating Norman Osborn in the parkers secret deaths.
This laptop computer has been sitting there in the dark running all by
itself for decades. Yeah, right.

Pa Parker created the Magic science spiders all those years ago using his
own DNA so they can never replicate any of the experimental results without
his DNA. This is why he arranged his and his wife’s disappearance while
leaving his son behind. Because his wife doesn’t have his DNA and his son
does.

Harry who has been fired and had all his security credentials revoked just
takes a limo over to the secret laboratory where they keep the venom in the
building not in the building and Osborn security just lets him in because
he tells them who he is. He walks right in and finds electro. Both he and
electro love Spider-Man and then through the tiniest misunderstanding have
decided they both hate Spider-Man. Harry needs electro to get him past
Osborn security to get back into his own building even though just being
hairy got him into this facility to get Osborne in the first place.

Electro is free and has all sorts of completely weird powers of levitation
and teleportation.

Gwen jumps Peter on the phone saying it’s not because she doesn’t love him
but because she does. Bitch.

Electro both teleports and levitates into Osbourne security and starts
killing people. Harry just walks in behind him apparently having taken the
elevator.

The head of Osborn security won’t tell them where the secret venom is in so
they kill him and then electro uses another of his new powers where he can
reanimate the dead. And then uses yet another of his new powers where he
can travel along electrical wires just like the Atom.

They inject Harry with spider venom. I still have no idea why he thinks
this is going to help.

Harry goes all Jeff Goldbloom from the fly. Luckily if inexplicably there
happens to be a full green goblin Power Ranger EXOS suit complete with
flying bat feet just standing next to the locker where they keep the venom.

Spider-Man intercepts Gwen‘s cab to England and swings her up to the top of
the Brooklyn Bridge. Oh dear God. This never ends well for her.

Peter announces he’s going to stalk her anywhere she goes and follow her to
England. He actually mentions Jack the Ripper. For some reason this does
not terrify her.

Electro blacks out the city. Incoming airplanes are going to stop dead in
the air and flat spin down, I just know it.

Gwen comes up with this idiotic plan to magnetize peters web shooters which
will keep electro from being able to destroy them with several giga watts
of electricity. She says his spandex costume will insulate him.

*** at this point my iPhone crashed and I lost everything I dictated about
the rest of the movie. Basically Gwen murders Electro, Harry murders Gwen,
Peter murders Harry. Harry gets better. The mysterious Illuminati guy shows
up in Harry’s jail cell. Once again I don’t know why he’s in jail because
who the hell knows what he did?

The mystery guys name is Mr. Fiers and he’s taking Harry’s orders to go
create evil stuff with robot suits from Oscorp because evil. Obviously they
didn’t realize this horrible crapfest would destroy this iteration of the
franchise.

Five months later Peter has quit being Spider-Man. He finally watches a
recording of Gwen giving her valedictorian speech.

A guy in a robot suit that looks like a rhino attacks the city. A little
boy dressed as Spider-Man tries to stop him. the real Spider-Man shows up
because there’s no way he could’ve possibly known. Another stupid physics
defying fight ensues as does horrid music.

Not only the worst Spider-Man movie but a contender for worst movie ever
made. And the credits tell us why. Kurtzman and Orci.

>
> --
> Let's go Brandon!
>
>

--
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.”

[anim8rfsk]

I seriously think what they did is, as each actor’s flight reservations
became available, they killed them off quick so they could get out of the
country.

[Arthur Lipscomb]

On 6/21/2022 8:39 AM, Ian J. Ball wrote:
> On 2022-06-21 08:30:41 +0000, Ubiquitous said:
>
>> What did you watch?
>

snip

>
> The Old Man (recorded) - "II" (ep. #2). This episode introduces us to
> Amy Brenneman's character.

I hope you are not Judging Amy.

>   We get more background on what happened in Afghanistan with Young Dan
> Chase - the show nails it again in casting an actor (Christopher Redman)
> that sounds *a lot* like John Lithgow!

Coincidence or plot reason for this?

>   We meet Harold Harper's (Lithgow) FBI "team", which consists of his
> protege, Angela Adams (Alia Shawkat, who's actually starting to look
> old!), and his second, "Joe" (Kenneth Mitchell) who is in a wheelchair.
>   The CIA mucketymuck from "I" is still hanging around. And in this
> one, Harper puts an assassin on Dan Chase's tail.
>   Dan Chase finds a place to rent to recuperate - he ends up renting it
> from a middle-aged divorcee named Zoe (Amy Brenneman). She ends up
> seducing a man who is almost old enough to be her father!! You just know
> that Dan's troubles will soon be coming down on her!
>   There is also a "revelation" in this episode that was not surprising,
> but was disappointing.

>

> Undertow (Tubi) - OTOH, this 2018 Australian flick I didn't care for
> much at all. I basically watched it because it costars Olivia DeJonge.
>   The primary star Laura Gordon, who plays Claire, a woman in her
> thirties who begins the film by losing her full at-term baby while her
> husband is at a party.
>   Claire later spies her husband with DeJonge's character, Angie, a
> pregant teenager. (It was never clear to me whether Angie was an actual
> hooker, or just trying to be a "sugar baby"...)
>   Anyway, Claire quickly becomes obsessed with Angie.
>   Nothing that happens in this film is pleasant (or particularly
> interesting), and none of the characters are likeable, least of all
> Claire and Angie.
>   P.S. There's lots of nudity in this film, but about 98.5% of it is
> from Gordon, not DeJonge.
>
>

Too many movies named Undertow!


I watched:


Second Act (Netflix rental) - 2018 dramedy starring Jennifer Lopez as an
over 40 high school drop out who thanks to a forged resume gets hired as
a corporate CEO at a makeup company. But thanks to her first hand
experience and common sense she's a hit at the company. Except for with
the snooty employees who suspect something is up with her. Vanessa
Hudgens also costars as a rival at the company who va n fubpxvat gjvfg
vf qvfpbirerq gb or Ybcrm'f ybat ybfg qnhtugre jub fur tnir hc sbe
nqbcgvba. This movie was *pure* paint by numbers! But it was still
watchable.

[Ian J. Ball]

On 2022-06-21 17:24:59 +0000, Arthur Lipscomb said:

> On 6/21/2022 8:39 AM, Ian J. Ball wrote:
>> On 2022-06-21 08:30:41 +0000, Ubiquitous said:
>>
>>> What did you watch?
>>
> snip
>>
>> The Old Man (recorded) - "II" (ep. #2). This episode introduces us to
>> Amy Brenneman's character.
>
> I hope you are not Judging Amy.
>
>>   We get more background on what happened in Afghanistan with Young Dan
>> Chase - the show nails it again in casting an actor (Christopher
>> Redman) that sounds *a lot* like John Lithgow!
>
> Coincidence or plot reason for this?

Sorry, I wasn't clear - Redman was playing "Young Harold Harper" (in a
flashback).

>>   We meet Harold Harper's (Lithgow) FBI "team", which consists of his
>> protege, Angela Adams (Alia Shawkat, who's actually starting to look
>> old!), and his second, "Joe" (Kenneth Mitchell) who is in a wheelchair.
>>   The CIA mucketymuck from "I" is still hanging around. And in this
>> one, Harper puts an assassin on Dan Chase's tail.
>>   Dan Chase finds a place to rent to recuperate - he ends up renting it
>> from a middle-aged divorcee named Zoe (Amy Brenneman). She ends up
>> seducing a man who is almost old enough to be her father!! You just
>> know that Dan's troubles will soon be coming down on her!
>>   There is also a "revelation" in this episode that was not surprising,
>> but was disappointing.

[BTR1701]

In article
<375135659.677507851.40...@news.easynews.com>,

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:

> Since then there was a really awful commercial with this nasty blonde woman
> flapping her arms and screeching at her husband that he needed to call
> about Medicare advantage (apparently she was incapable of working a
> telephone herself). This guy needs a divorce, not better health insurance.
> Now that one is still running but they've cut off the beginning where she
> was flapping screeching at him.

I literally just saw this commercial right before sitting down to check
Usenet. When she comes screeching into the room, hectoring him to call,
he should just say, "What the hell is wrong with your fingers? They can
dial a phone, can't they, you hateful bitch?"

[anim8rfsk]

Hee hee

The new version seems to be missing about the first 10 seconds, which
amounts to her entrance. She’s still annoying after that but not such that
you’re hoping a shot will ring out.

[Ubiquitous]

anim...@cox.net wrote:
> Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>> On Juneteenth, I watched:
>>
>> What did you watch?
>
>Hey, thanks for asking!
>
>Offensive Juneteenth ads.
>
>Last month there was an offensive don't hate Asians ad which had two
>unfunny women on stage just spouting nasty that would pretty much make you
>hate Asians if you didn't already. And yet they only aired it once.

I think I saw that one!
Was failed comedian "Doctor Kim" in it?

>actually being secret agents that always seemed more like an orpan's

>fantasy than something that should actually be in the narrative.

That was never in the Spider-man movies before this one.
Yeah, it was stupid.

>They've put Peter and Gwen in high school (although that's completely
>unclear until the next movie), a science Academy that has a lot of morons
>so they can have a ball team. But this is pointless since they are seniors
>and their high school days are all but over anyway.
>
>The film is generally well cast, with Martin Sheen and Sally Field as uncle
>Ben and aunt May. And then in a really bizarre roll Embeth Davidtz (my God
>spellcheck knew her name) as Peters missing mother. Twenty years after
>Army of Darkness! And on the old side to be the mother of a four-year-old
>son in flashbacks. Unless they intend for her to turn up alive in the next
>movie but that seems pretty unlikely. Not content with adding the spy
>subplot they also involve the father with the spider research being carried
>on by the lizard who works for Norman Osborn. Hey, it's Jill Flint from
>Royal pains as a receptionist! Talk about pretty but annoying!
>
>Apparently somehow Spider-Man steals his web formula from Norman Osborn's
>company but then claims to have invented it himself. At least they're back
>to the mechanical web shooters.

I preferred the organic web-shooters, but he didn't steal the formula, just a
handful of vials of webbing fluid. Hmm, isn't he going to need to get more at
some point?

>How the webs work as well as his stickiness and his spider sense comes and
>goes and changes scene to scene.
>
>But this Peter is a self-absorbed jerk both before and after the spider
>bite.
>
>They were still using a practical costume to present Spider-Man at this
>point and I like that the costume actually has folds and fasteners and
>looks like something that it would be almost possible for a high school kid
>to build.

Made from basketballs.

>But it makes it not match the CGI Spider-Man very well. Also
>whoever chose for it to have black eye lenses was a complete idiot. Maybe
>it was to match Gwen?
>
>Gwen's dad's dying wish to Peter is exactly the opposite of what happened
>in the comics.
>

>There are some nice scenes of web singing swinging through the city and
>some that the effects team really booted.
>
>I hadn't seen this or it'™s sequel. So I've got some catch-up to do but at
>this point I think it goes down as the worst Spider-Man movie. It's not
>awful but it's thumbs down if only just barely.

It's better than the 3rd Toby McGuire movie, but not a lot.

[anim8rfsk]

Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
> anim...@cox.net wrote:
>> Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>
>>> On Juneteenth, I watched:
>>>
>>> What did you watch?
>>
>> Hey, thanks for asking!
>>
>> Offensive Juneteenth ads.
>>
>> Last month there was an offensive don't hate Asians ad which had two
>> unfunny women on stage just spouting nasty that would pretty much make you
>> hate Asians if you didn't already. And yet they only aired it once.
>
> I think I saw that one!
> Was failed comedian "Doctor Kim" in it?

I don’t recall. I think it was only aired once.
Is Dr. Kim the number one reason to hate Asians?

>
>> THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN (2012)
>> Somehow I managed to never see this, or at least not see most of it. This
>> is the fourth live action SPIDER-MAN movie, and the second iteration of the
>> mythos starting with a new origin story (like they needed to do that) and a
>> new cast.
>>
>> This is, frankly, not very good. It has so many bright spots in it but they
>> are just individual points of light buried in a sea of scenes that make you
>> ask what just happened. For instance there's a rescue on a bridge where
>> half a dozen cars are left hanging from strands of webbing halfway between
>> the bridge and the water below. And they just forget about them. Did Peter
>> drag them all up before he left? Does his webbing in this version evaporate
>> and within the hour they all plunged to their deaths? Was 911 somehow left
>> to figure out a way to save these people?
>>
>> The villain is the lizard who they re-designed to have a human face which
>> just looks stupid. They also made him twice as big as a regular person
>> which makes leaving him in a lab coat just stupid.
>>
>> Here's an example of the problems with the script. The guy who becomes the
>> lizard gives everybody that works where he does the week off so he'll be
>> able to work on the formula in private. Then he moves all his stuff to the
>> sewer to work on the formula in private. Later Gwen goes to his lab in the
>> building not the sewer to make a cure which you can apparently do by just
>> taking a vial from the one cabinet and putting it in another and pushing

>> the button marked “make a cure“ and Spider-Man knows this even though she's

It’s from the comics but I’ve always hated it. It was something they came
up with for one of the annuals where they need an event. But I think they
were just Cold War spies I don’t recall them ever being involved with the
Spider stuff although that has all been ret conned into this weird spider
magic totem crap that I studiously ignore.

>> They've put Peter and Gwen in high school (although that's completely
>> unclear until the next movie), a science Academy that has a lot of morons
>> so they can have a ball team. But this is pointless since they are seniors
>> and their high school days are all but over anyway.
>>
>> The film is generally well cast, with Martin Sheen and Sally Field as uncle
>> Ben and aunt May. And then in a really bizarre roll Embeth Davidtz (my God
>> spellcheck knew her name) as Peters missing mother. Twenty years after
>> Army of Darkness! And on the old side to be the mother of a four-year-old
>> son in flashbacks. Unless they intend for her to turn up alive in the next
>> movie but that seems pretty unlikely. Not content with adding the spy
>> subplot they also involve the father with the spider research being carried
>> on by the lizard who works for Norman Osborn. Hey, it's Jill Flint from
>> Royal pains as a receptionist! Talk about pretty but annoying!
>>
>> Apparently somehow Spider-Man steals his web formula from Norman Osborn's
>> company but then claims to have invented it himself. At least they're back
>> to the mechanical web shooters.
>
> I preferred the organic web-shooters, but he didn't steal the formula, just a
> handful of vials of webbing fluid. Hmm, isn't he going to need to get more at
> some point?

The importance of the mechanical web shooters is that it’s the one thing
Peter does for himself. The rest of it is handed to him. But the web
shooters he invents making all of uncle Ben’s sacrifices to get him a
science education warranted.

The organic web shooters come from the secret wars black living alien venom
suit. Raise your hand if ewww.

The mechanical web shooters also introduce a weakness and that he can run
out of them and the difficulty and that he needs money to make more fluid.
In the comics he’ll also invent other sorts of fluid like impact webbing
where he can hit you hard in the face.

It’s sort of like if you made Batmans utility belt organic and he just
started pulling batarangs out of his ass.

>
>> How the webs work as well as his stickiness and his spider sense comes and
>> goes and changes scene to scene.
>>
>> But this Peter is a self-absorbed jerk both before and after the spider
>> bite.
>>
>> They were still using a practical costume to present Spider-Man at this
>> point and I like that the costume actually has folds and fasteners and
>> looks like something that it would be almost possible for a high school kid
>> to build.
>
> Made from basketballs.
>
>> But it makes it not match the CGI Spider-Man very well. Also
>> whoever chose for it to have black eye lenses was a complete idiot. Maybe
>> it was to match Gwen?
>>
>> Gwen's dad's dying wish to Peter is exactly the opposite of what happened
>> in the comics.
>>
>> There are some nice scenes of web singing swinging through the city and
>> some that the effects team really booted.
>>
>> I hadn't seen this or it'™s sequel. So I've got some catch-up to do but at
>> this point I think it goes down as the worst Spider-Man movie. It's not
>> awful but it's thumbs down if only just barely.
>
> It's better than the 3rd Toby McGuire movie, but not a lot.

I know I liked the first Toby movie but I can’t differentiate the second
and third. IIRC Topher Grace is in one of them completely miscast. And
isn’t the guy from Ned and Stacey the Sandman?

>
>
> --
> Let's go Brandon!
>
>

[Ubiquitous]

anim...@cox.net wrote:
>Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>> On Juneteenth, I watched:
>>
>> What did you watch?
>
>Hey, thanks for asking!
>

>THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 (2014) on SQUIGGGGGGLE!!

I didn't bother to watch this one after hearing about it.

>Peter has a new, improved costume. And white eye lenses! To match, they've
>scraped a pound or two of mascara off of Gwen and she actually does have
>eyes under there.
>
>Electro comes across as just stupid and chock-full of powers that I don'™t
>really understand how electricity gives to you.
>
>Gwen moving to England actually is from the comics although filth pervert J
>Michael Stracrapski ret conned it as an excuse to hide her accelerated
>pregnancy by being pregnant by Peter who is the only guy she never had sex
>with even though she was seen at the time swinging bare bellied and

>decidedly unpregnant in the SavageLand because J Michael Stracrapski is a

“

[Ubiquitous]

anim...@cox.net wrote:
> Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>> anim...@cox.net wrote:
>>> Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>>>> On Juneteenth, I watched:
>>>>
>>>> What did you watch?
>>>
>>> Hey, thanks for asking!
>>>
>>> Offensive Juneteenth ads.
>>>
>>> Last month there was an offensive don't hate Asians ad which had two
>>> unfunny women on stage just spouting nasty that would pretty much make
>>> you hate Asians if you didn't already. And yet they only aired it once.
>>
>> I think I saw that one!
>> Was failed comedian "Doctor Kim" in it?
>
> I don't recall. I think it was only aired once.
>Is Dr. Kim the number one reason to hate Asians?

That's a tough one. He is quite annoying and unfunny.

[anim8rfsk]

Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
> anim...@cox.net wrote:
>> Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>
>>> On Juneteenth, I watched:
>>>
>>> What did you watch?
>>
>> Hey, thanks for asking!
>>
>> THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 (2014) on SQUIGGGGGGLE!!
>
> I didn't bother to watch this one after hearing about it.

Good call.

>> that turned Curt Connors into the lizard in the first movie except that’s

>> not what happened at all.
>>
>> For some reason somebody thought it would be clever to have a guy with a
>> thick metric accent named Dr. Kafka experimenting on the newly minted
>> electro.
>>
>> Kafka submerges electro in liquid that not only does not short out his
>> electrical powers but does not cause him to drown.
>>
>> Peter has developed into a full-blown stalker. Aunt May has developed into
>> a full-blown unlikable aunt.
>>
>> They do a complete recon of what happened to Peter's parents from both the
>> first movie and what we've already seen in the second movie. May talks
>> about the funeral for the parents who up until now had just vanished. She
>> says that after the funeral government guys showed up and claimed he'd run
>> off with secrets. There's no reason for anybody to have told her this
>> except to give her secrets to keep. Also she knows details about her
>> brother-in-law's life that she can't possibly be privy to unless she's
>> watching some other movie that I haven't seen yet.
>>

>> The whole “Harry needs Peter’s blood to save his life“ plot is reworked

>> up in Harry’s jail cell. Once again I don't know why he's in jail because

>> who the hell knows what he did?
>>
>> The mystery guys name is Mr. Fiers and he's taking Harry's orders to go
>> create evil stuff with robot suits from Oscorp because evil. Obviously they
>> didn't realize this horrible crapfest would destroy this iteration of the
>> franchise.
>>
>> Five months later Peter has quit being Spider-Man. He finally watches a
>> recording of Gwen giving her valedictorian speech.
>>
>> A guy in a robot suit that looks like a rhino attacks the city. A little
>> boy dressed as Spider-Man tries to stop him. the real Spider-Man shows up
>> because there's no way he could've possibly known. Another stupid physics
>> defying fight ensues as does horrid music.
>>
>> Not only the worst Spider-Man movie but a contender for worst movie ever
>> made. And the credits tell us why. Kurtzman and Orci.
>
> --
> Let's go Brandon!
>

> “

[anim8rfsk]

Apparently Joel McHale likes him.

> --
> Let's go Brandon!
>
>