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[Kitchen Nightmares] Reality bites: Fake scenes sour restaurant makeover

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Ubiquitous

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May 9, 2010, 11:56:46 AM5/9/10
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BY GLENN GARVIN

When Kitchen Nightmares, Fox's loud and bleep-filled restaurant makeover
show, airs an episode Friday that was shot in a Pinecrest restaurant,
there's one moment I'm sure you won't see: my near-arrest by the Fox
Reality Police.

After a tip from a reader that Kitchen Nightmares might be shooting at
the Scandinavian restaurant Fleming, I dined there the night that the
show set up its cameras. And when I tried to surreptitiously jot down a
few notes, I caught the eye of one of the shrill producers barking
orders at waiters and customers.

``What are you doing?'' she demanded, striding briskly to my table.
``Just jotting down some thoughts,'' I replied, truthfully if
incompletely.

``I'm going to have to take your notebook,'' she said in a harsh voice
as her eyes flitted this way and that, looking for a convenient wall
against which I could be lined up and shot. (And not with a camera.)

``You are not taking my notebook,'' I corrected her. One of the cameras
must have caught the look on her face, an exquisite blend of
astonishment and rage: Doesn't this tattered peasant know I'm from
TELEVISION? She actually looked so crazed I thought she might leap
across the table and grab the notebook. Instead, she stalked over to her
crew, which gave my table a wide berth (and numerous dirty looks) for
the rest of the night.

I haven't seen Friday's episode of Kitchen Nightmares, which airs at 9
p.m. on WSVN-Fox 7. But I'm willing to bet any and all takers a month's
worth of dinners at Fleming that it won't include the confrontation over
the notebook or anything else that hints at just how unreal a reality TV
show can be.

On the night I was there last July -- the first of six during which
Kitchen Nightmares taped -- everything was faked, starting with the
diners. Most were ringers, recruited at a site in Broward where another
reality show was shooting. ``I'd never heard of this place,'' one man
confided as we sat in a production office, waiting to sign a release
that said we understood we were being taped. ``But this is a cool chance
to be on TV.''

Once inside the restaurant, 8511 SW 136th St., the producers made it
clear exactly what we needed to do to be on TV: Complain, volubly and
bitterly. ``If you have something to say about the food or the
service,'' a producer instructed, ``give us a signal so we can bring the
camera to the table. Once we're there, don't look directly at the
camera, but speak in a loud voice so the microphone will pick you up
clearly.''

Since even the un-media-savviest of the diners understood that shouting
``Waiter! Waiter! This is the best damn salmon I've ever tasted!'' was
not likely to make the air, the producer's speech unleashed a gushing
torrent of querulous complaints: The tomatoes were small. The martini
was weak. The chicken was undercooked. The chicken was overcooked.

At the table next to mine, three couples from Fort Lauderdale tormented
the waiter so viciously that I really thought he might cry. (Great shot,
camera No. 1! Zoom in on his eyes!) Watching them was like a scene from
a culinary Lord of the Flies as their nostrils flared at the scent of
videotaped blood.

``Waiter, the lettuce in my salad is dry and wilted,'' shouted one man.
``Hey, so is mine!'' chimed in another. Amazingly, all six salads at
their table turned out to be dry and wilted. Even more amazingly, the
two at mine were just fine. And while I can't say I enjoyed the dining
experience -- it was like eating dinner in the middle of a flock of
squawking parrots who learned English from Rodney Dangerfield -- I
thought my food was pretty good. (Perhaps more significantly, my opinion
was shared by my companion Sue Mullin, a former Miami Herald dining
critic who has written three cookbooks.)

But that doesn't fit in with the standard Kitchen Nightmares narrative,
which is that acid-tongued British chef Gordon Ramsay takes over some
swill-trough of a restaurant and overnight turns it into haute-cuisine
heaven, mostly through the strategic application of four-letter words.
(Typical of Ramsay's constructive criticism: ``You fat, useless sack of
bleeping Yankee-dankee doodle bleep!'')

Ramsay wasn't there the night I ate at Fleming, but as owner Andy Hall
told me this week, the abuse only got worse when he showed up. ``It was
a mentally and emotionally draining experience,'' Hall said. ``He yelled
at me a lot. He yelled at everybody, but I'm the one who really took the
brunt of it.''

Hall says he volunteered his restaurant for the show in hopes the
publicity would bring in more customers. But he also expected to get
some sage off-camera advice in addition to the onslaught of on-camera
insults.

``Insights from a Michelin chef, what could that hurt?'' he says. ``But
what was really disappointing was the amount of time you get with him.
It's actually no time, off-camera. What you'll see on the show is what
we got. The whole thing is about their TV show, not about cooking or the
restaurant business.''

As for the rampant fakery that I saw at Fleming on the night of the
taping, Hall -- who signed enough releases and nondisclosure agreements
to turn the Amazon rain forest into a parched desert -- chooses his
words carefully. ``It's, well, it's a TV show, that part's correct,'' he
muses. ``Reality is a very loose word to use.''

No bleep, buddy.


--
It is simply breathtaking to watch the glee and abandon with which
the liberal media and the Angry Left have been attempting to turn
our military victory in Iraq into a second Vietnam quagmire. Too bad
for them, it's failing.

Mason Barge

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May 9, 2010, 1:28:54 PM5/9/10
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On Sun, 09 May 2010 10:56:46 -0500, web...@polaris.net (Ubiquitous) wrote:

>BY GLENN GARVIN

That's a really interesting article. On the other hand, I don't think it
contains a single surprising revelation. I pretty much said the same
thing, six months ago, just by inference.

The one place that I'm concerned the article goes wrong is concerning the
quality of the food. Without doubt, the producers manipulate things so as
to film complaints. But equally without doubt -- unless the owners
themselves are lying their asses off -- they don't take the show to even
marginally successful restaurants. It's really not in the show's best
interest and every episode I've seen involves an owner crying that they
are on the verge of losing the restaurant, their savings, and their house.

Extravagan

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May 9, 2010, 9:30:20 PM5/9/10
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Ubiquitous wrote:
> [Kitchen Nightmares] Reality bites: Fake scenes sour restaurant
> makeover

"Reality" TV is fake; film at 11.

Can't say I'm displeased to see Kitchen Nightmares, in particular, get
exposed as a fraud; it's the bastard that fucked up Fringe's scheduling
this year. That makes it a worthy target of scorn and a deserving target
of cancellation in my opinion.

--
"I'll admit that I'm impotent" -- WQ IV in
<0b50d7c9-fe3a-4c38...@h9g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.tv/msg/26238a15df076ab8


Lynn Mullins

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Aug 15, 2010, 7:59:14 PM8/15/10
to superheroin...@yahoogroups.com
In article <cea.7a99511e.3999c7db@UNKNOWN>, jero...@seznam.cz wrote:

>Michaele: Very desperate and insecure but I did not hate her (at least
>on camera) as much as I thought I would. I heard in the season preview
>one of the women voice over that she and her husband had not been
>paying their bills. I read her husband is the captian of the US Polo
>Team... how much money would that make?

Nothing!! It's all FAKE! He made it up for his stupid World Polo
Tournament or whatever. Everything about these people is a sham. They're
more bankrupt and fraudulent than all the broke-ass ATL & NJ ho'wives
combined. I really have to wonder what level of delusion or narcissism
exists for these people. She was never a Redskin, never a model, never a
socialite. His parents had a successful winery which he ran into the
ground and he has all these bogus events and charities. It's an entire
made-up life. The reality is lots of debt and lawsuits against these
phonies.

And because it can't be said enough, I assure the rest of the country
the majority of us here in DC do not sit around and constantly talk
about Obama, policy or our connections to the corridors of power. Even
real wonks don't talk like these people.

Charley Herman

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May 9, 2010, 10:28:31 PM5/9/10
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In article <3522736557394...@yahoogroups.com>,
johan...@gmail.com wrote:
>
>Which explains the ludicrous scene of a dozen dinners sending their
>food back to the kitchen. That place may be bad, but that just looked
>so staged. (Staff and couple seemed genuinely happy for the changes
>though. That part, I remain a sucker for).
>
>On the up side, aside from the mandatory "food contamination" scene
>there was less conflict and angst than usual. The head chef was
>presented as being a competent cook, the owning couple had a warm
>relationship, the servers had good attitudes. And when their stove
>roke GR got them a new stove, not a plaque.
>
>On the other hand if the chef was not the problem it still doesn't
>explain why half the restaurant was sending back the food from the
>original menu - are we supposed to believe that this menu was so
>infernally bad that even a good cook couldn't wrangle an edible dish
>from it?

We all know the patrons are egged on to complain on the American
version. Past episodes where some guests go out of their way to be
obnoxious to get camera time (the guy who ordered a pizza on his cell
comes to mind) prove this to be true. However, I do question the writer
saying the food was more than passable as did her food critique friend.
If the food was as good as that article made it seem, then there would
have been more customers around than the Blue Hair Brigade, I'd imagine.

Michael Black

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May 10, 2010, 1:37:25 AM5/10/10
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On Sun, 9 May 2010, Lynn Mullins wrote:

> Which explains the ludicrous scene of a dozen dinners sending their
> food back to the kitchen. That place may be bad, but that just looked
> so staged. (Staff and couple seemed genuinely happy for the changes
> though. That part, I remain a sucker for).
>

I didn't give much though to food being sent back, it was the scenes
where they have the public in, and they are sitting around forever
waiting for the meals. Sometimes the cooks even walk out while
there are paying customers sitting in the restaurant. If the restaurants
were like that normally, they'd have no customers.

Michael

Kujo

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May 10, 2010, 12:48:22 PM5/10/10
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web...@polaris.net (Ubiquitous) wrote in
news:z5qdnVmL14KjRnvW...@giganews.com:

In the bits, and pieces of "Kitchen Nigthmares" I've seen (including some
of the "Fleming" ep), it's so obvious ish is staged. There's no way the
"food comtamination" bit was real.

I've seen a tiny bit of the UK "Kitchen Nigthmares", and it didn't seem
staged at all. I think the UK version was the real deal.

Mason Barge

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May 10, 2010, 1:23:02 PM5/10/10
to
On Sun, 09 May 2010 21:28:31 -0500, "Charley Herman"
<corret...@gmail.com> wrote:

>In article <3522736557394...@yahoogroups.com>,
>johan...@gmail.com wrote:
>>
>>Which explains the ludicrous scene of a dozen dinners sending their
>>food back to the kitchen. That place may be bad, but that just looked
>>so staged. (Staff and couple seemed genuinely happy for the changes
>>though. That part, I remain a sucker for).
>>
>>On the up side, aside from the mandatory "food contamination" scene
>>there was less conflict and angst than usual. The head chef was
>>presented as being a competent cook, the owning couple had a warm
>>relationship, the servers had good attitudes. And when their stove
>>roke GR got them a new stove, not a plaque.
>>
>>On the other hand if the chef was not the problem it still doesn't
>>explain why half the restaurant was sending back the food from the
>>original menu - are we supposed to believe that this menu was so
>>infernally bad that even a good cook couldn't wrangle an edible dish
>>from it?
>
>We all know the patrons are egged on to complain on the American
>version.

Yes, the show has changed radically since the 2004 BBC series in so many
ways. More money, more forced dramatics, bigger audience. More
formulaic, too. In the BBC series, Ramsey was a lot more considerate of
people's feelings.

Doomsday

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May 10, 2010, 1:49:50 PM5/10/10
to

Once you add a camera into the equation it's no longer "reality". This
is common knowledge. The only thing that matters is whether or not the
show is entertaining. If it's entertaining, good... if it's not then
the show fails. Whether or not it's "reality" is irrelevant. I don't
call any of these shows reality television, I called them unscripted
television shows. And even that's not entirely accurate because some of
it IS scripted.


--
Doomsday
------------------------------------------------------------------------
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View this thread: http://brawl-hall.com/forums/showthread.php?t=308487

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June Katz

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May 15, 2010, 7:16:12 AM5/15/10
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Finally got around to watching the "Fleming" episode (for some reason,
various subsequent recordings were more attractive for me to watch; but
then I needed my trash TV fix). Interesting article, Ubiquitous, thanks
for posting it. After a few seasons of Faux' production, I guess none of
it should be surprising.

Even without having read the article, it was apparent "the fix was in"
as soon as they started fielding complaints from the customers. Who
returns their meal because "I don't like how it tastes" or "it is
bland"?? And the "it is mushy". On previous shows, I've felt that Gordon
comes down harshly on restaurants that serve cuisine that he has
negative opinions about, and "fixes" menus to present his likes -
whether or not they have anything to do with the restaurant's original
concept or the owners' preferences. Here it was apparent to me that he
dislikes Scandinavian food, perceiving it as bland and mushy. So that
was what they scripted the shills to complain about. (Disclaimer: I
watched with an interest in Scandinavian food in general and in my case,
a Swedish family background.)

The linked article suggests that the previous menu at Fleming wasn't
HORRIBLE and inedible. It seemed to me that the combination of owners
who had no clue about Danish food (and apparently never thought to
travel anywhere to visit outstanding Danish restaurants) and an
apparently excellent Cuban chef who was also unfamiliar with Danish
cuisine and was struggling to keep from "Cuban spicing up" the menu he
was handed could very well produce food which lost its roots. (That
abortion was NOT gravlax, for example.) IMO, while it would have been
realistic to investigate whether there WAS a market for a Danish
restaurant in spicy Miami, it wasn't automatically necessary to trash
the concept and replace it entirely. But as soon as I could tell Gordon
hated his perception of Scandinavian food, I realized his approach would
not be to refine and improve the quality of Danish food, keeping the
restaurant as a niche, but to replace the entire restaurant with a
plastic Gordon solution clone.

There were other issues there - but Gordon chose to jump on his dislike
of Scandinavian food for the total replacement for some reason. Which is
unclear, because a dirty walk-in and cross-contamination have been big
drah-ma bringers on other episodes. Maybe the "nice" factor kicked in.
johan...@gmail.com wrote:

>On the up side, aside from the mandatory "food contamination" scene
>there was less conflict and angst than usual. The head chef was
>presented as being a competent cook, the owning couple had a warm
>relationship, the servers had good attitudes. And when their stove
>roke GR got them a new stove, not a plaque.

Maybe it was apparent off-screen that the owners were not really
comfortable with a Danish restaurant but were reluctant to reshape it -
who knows, maybe the former owner was still around and they were afraid
of offending him. And a Gordon redo would shift the blame.

Interesting that the article mentioned filming going on in the
restaurant for six days. Proof that the "day 1/day 2/day 3" is indeed
faux.

Oh - and I do have to admit that the tinfoil swans were cool. Better
than the average take-home swan. Altho not particularly environmentally
sensitive, perhaps Gordon could have come up with a way to incorporate
them into the day-kor.

Jim Sen'kina

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May 15, 2010, 7:23:14 AM5/15/10
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ku...@noname.com wrote in article <Xns9D748247A10...@94.75.214.90>,

Let's be honest here: Gordon has about as much say on this show as he
does Glee or Family Guy. I have a feeling in this case the producers
decided before hand that a Scandinavian restaurant in Miami was a stupid
idea and they'd get more drama time/a better storyline if they just
changed it entirely. You can almost see Gordon having to jump through
loops to make excuses for the change on the episode himself, including
his very stupid "random polling of people who just happen to be walking
by an empty storefront in the rain" produced bit.

That and the owners didn't seem as tied to the Scandinavian cuisine as
much as the repeat customers they see come in, no matter how few they were.

I'm still not 100% sold on the "The food was good, people just complained
for camera time" side of the newspaper article. Yes, a lot of the complaints
were pretty stupid on the show and I'm sure a few of those people were
just sending back their comped meal to get on Fox, but I don't think it
was as bad as the reporter said. Let's face it: if the food was more than
alright, the problem really would be the kind of food being served not
having a market and not the quality of the food being served.

Honestly, the recap of this season that starts next season will be pretty
bleak if they do it. So many of these restaurants just don't have a chance
no matter how great the revamp. And if they are doing it for camera time,
I think next week's episode shows that Fox isn't against sitting on these
episodes for a year or more.

rajs...@gmail.com

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May 1, 2014, 1:57:20 PM5/1/14
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DUH!! The restaurants don't have customers!.

rajs...@gmail.com

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May 1, 2014, 2:15:10 PM5/1/14
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I think you are totally lying about certain things and about other things you are just got it wrong.
If you look at the fox website and social media they give out a call for customers to visit the restaurant, they specifically mention that Kitchen nightmares or Restaurant Impossible is doing a make over.
Many a time their old customers turn up there. Yes they have to be critical.
I have been involved in mystery shopping. And we do brief our mystery shopper that they have to be extra critical.

For two reasons 1. Nobody bothers to complain(this is in real life so we have to emphasize to mystery shoppers).
2. This only applies to TV shows, the people might be to excited to be on TV and people don't want to appear negative.
Have you ever seen movie feedback outside a movie theater?. People just give a thumbs up and say "good movie". If I had penny for everytime such movies with "positive reviews" outside Cinema halls turned out to be huge flops...

I would not even take the word of any American Restaurant Owner. Because You hear it from their mouth, They don't give a fuck about Gordon. They are in Denial. They just think they will gain publicity from being on the show.
Get some freebies and thats it.
Many don't want to agree their food is bad or the kitchen is dirty because they are don't want to lose face in front of their old customers.

If this was fake then let them sue Gordon. Oh Wait they tried Dillon's Manager tried to Sue Gordon Saying it was stages(yeah pulling out tiny roaches hidden under the insulation of the freezer that had to be ripped apart was staged, wow we should rename to the show to MindFreak, Gordon would give Criss Angel A run for his money).

When I saw the title in the search results I thought maybe the fake part would be that The producers actually provoke the Restaurant Owners to fight Ramsay.

Seriously how can anyone be in such denial. DO they even Fake the food. Clearly the food is raw Ramsay shows it to you. If its greasy there is grease dripping out of the food.
So if its Fake then even the restaurant owners should be in on it. So Andy Hall is lying. Cause they would have to purposely cook bad food that is dripping with grease or dry or serve microwaved frozen food.

DUDE YOU ARE JUST TALKING CRAP. Why did you post this on Google groups. You have the guts then post this on your blog or tell your Food critic friend(whom I google and does not have a blog) to blog about it. Expose it. She is a TV personality herself(If that is the person you are referring to).

Anyone who believe this crap for a moment should just stop and watch a few episodes of the UK version. Then you would know the truth there is no drama there.

here like I said the only fake part is I think the producers are provoking some restaurants owners to confront Ramsay and never admit they are wrong.
I am only assuming this because I don't think Americans can be that stupid.
especially In case where they are serving frozen food, or really bad food which is obvious just by looking at it.

Also Ramsay has liked food in more than 3 restaurants He has liked the food and not changed a thing.

If this was fake like you say it was...that is the Restaurant owners are victims, then there would be lots of lawsuits cause they would have won.
If this is fake then everyone is in on it.
So Andy Hall of Fleming is lying. I think I will tweet this link to Fox and Gordon Ramsay. I hope their Legal team gives all of you guys a notice

pant...@gmail.com

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Jan 24, 2020, 12:45:23 PM1/24/20
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Amen....

novi...@gmail.com

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Jun 13, 2020, 9:33:29 PM6/13/20
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Are you surprised? I can't say I believe the notebook thing with no proof (and it's extremely convenient that you have absolutely no solid proof for anything you said) but it's reality TV. Nobody is dumb enough to believe 100% of the things n-screen; it's simply entertaining to see dumb people act dumb. And what the hell are you talking about liberal media at the end for? It's really strange and off-topic.

novi...@gmail.com

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Jun 13, 2020, 9:35:19 PM6/13/20
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The food isn't Scandinavian either lel

BTR1701

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Jun 14, 2020, 1:14:32 AM6/14/20
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On Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 8:56:46 AM UTC-7, Ubiquitous wrote:

> > BY GLENN GARVIN
> >
> > When KITCHEN NIGHTMARES, Fox's loud and bleep-filled restaurant makeover
> > show, airs an episode Friday that was shot in a Pinecrest restaurant,
> > there's one moment I'm sure you won't see: my near-arrest by the Fox
> > Reality Police.
> >
> > After a tip from a reader that Kitchen Nightmares might be shooting at
> > the Scandinavian restaurant Fleming, I dined there the night that the
> > show set up its cameras. And when I tried to surreptitiously jot down a
> > few notes, I caught the eye of one of the shrill producers barking
> > orders at waiters and customers.
> >
> > "What are you doing?" she demanded, striding briskly to my table.
> > "Just jotting down some thoughts," I replied, truthfully if incompletely.
> >
> > "I'm going to have to take your notebook," she said in a harsh voice
> > as her eyes flitted this way and that, looking for a convenient wall
> > against which I could be lined up and shot. (And not with a camera.)
> >
> > "You are not taking my notebook," I corrected her. One of the cameras
> > must have caught the look on her face, an exquisite blend of
> > astonishment and rage: Doesn't this tattered peasant know I'm from
> > TELEVISION? She actually looked so crazed I thought she might leap
> > across the table and grab the notebook. Instead, she stalked over to her
> > crew, which gave my table a wide berth (and numerous dirty looks) for
> > the rest of the night.
> >
> > I haven't seen Friday's episode of KITCHEN NIGHTMARES, which airs at 9
> > p.m. on WSVN-Fox 7. But I'm willing to bet any and all takers a month's
> > worth of dinners at Fleming that it won't include the confrontation over
> > the notebook or anything else that hints at just how unreal a reality TV
> > show can be.

> > On the night I was there last July -- the first of six during which
> > Kitchen Nightmares taped -- everything was faked, starting with the
> > diners. Most were ringers, recruited at a site in Broward where another
> > reality show was shooting. "I'd never heard of this place," one man
> > confided as we sat in a production office, waiting to sign a release
> > that said we understood we were being taped. "But this is a cool chance
> > to be on TV."
> >
> > Once inside the restaurant, 8511 SW 136th St., the producers made it
> > clear exactly what we needed to do to be on TV: Complain, volubly and
> > bitterly. "If you have something to say about the food or the
> > service," a producer instructed, "give us a signal so we can bring the
> > camera to the table. Once we're there, don't look directly at the
> > camera, but speak in a loud voice so the microphone will pick you up
> > clearly."

A couple years ago, the girlfriend at the time flew out to L.A. to
visit, and since HELL'S KITCHEN was one of her favorite shows at the
time, I arranged through some contacts I had for us to be two of the
'diners' in the HELL'S KITCHEN dining room, which is actually just a
studio audience that gets to eat. It was really eye-opening how
absolutely unreal and staged and managed all these supposed "reality"
shows actually are.

We were told to show up dressed for a fancy restaurant, but for those
who forgot or didn't get the message, they had a whole wardrobe truck
there full of suits and dresses. Then they had us park our actual cars
in a big lot and gather as a group where a series of limousines picked
us up two at a time and drove us fifty yards to the front door of Hell's
Kitchen, where we promptly got out and walked in as if we were some of
L.A.'s elite, taking a limo to dinner. Once inside, they gave us menus
for show, and told some people to order so they could film it, but there
was no actual choice about the food. The ones with the menus were told
what to order (and everyone else got a pre-designated plate of food).
Likewise, certain "diners" were picked out and told whether they were
going to like the food, or if they were going to hate it, and one was
directed to send her plate back and complain no matter what she thought
about how it tasted, so Ramsay could have a 'dramatic' scene of
screaming at whoever cooked it. The entire process was managed from
start to finish. And they kept having to stop everything to reset the
cameras and redo the 'reality' to get it better on video.

I was never much of a reality TV fan before that experience, but that
really sealed the deal for me. Anyone who gets wrapped up in these shows
like SURVIVOR, AMAZING RACE, BIG BROTHER, etc. are fooling themselves if
they think they're not watching something scripted every bit as much as
BLACKLIST or WALKING DEAD or any other drama on TV.

Adam H. Kerman

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Jun 14, 2020, 1:25:22 AM6/14/20
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BTR1701 <atr...@mac.com> wrote:

>A couple years ago, the girlfriend at the time flew out to L.A. to
>visit, and since HELL'S KITCHEN was one of her favorite shows at the
>time, I arranged through some contacts I had for us to be two of the
>'diners' in the HELL'S KITCHEN dining room, which is actually just a
>studio audience that gets to eat. It was really eye-opening how
>absolutely unreal and staged and managed all these supposed "reality"
>shows actually are. . . .

Thanks for the bizarre Hollywood story.

>I was never much of a reality TV fan before that experience, but that
>really sealed the deal for me. Anyone who gets wrapped up in these shows
>like SURVIVOR, AMAZING RACE, BIG BROTHER, etc. are fooling themselves if
>they think they're not watching something scripted every bit as much as
>BLACKLIST or WALKING DEAD or any other drama on TV.

Don't they actually kill the contestants on Survivor?

BTR1701

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Jun 14, 2020, 1:52:17 AM6/14/20
to
In article <rc4cc0$7mb$1...@dont-email.me>,
I wish! I'd watch that in a heartbeat.

Reminds me of THE RUNNING MAN-- the actual Stephen King story, not the
execrable movie which bears no resemblance to it-- where King was
decades ahead of THE HUNGER GAMES and DIVERGENT with a dystopian future
where the poor competed in deadly game shows for the hope of winning
some money for their families to live on.

...just a cheap daytime come-on called TREADMILL TO BUCKS. They
accepted only chronic heart, liver or lung patients, sometimes
throwing in a crip for comic relief. Every minute the contestant
could stay on the treadmill (keeping up a steady flow of chatter
with the emcee), he won ten dollars. Every two minutes the emcee
asked a Bonus Question in the contestant's category (the current
pal, a heart-murmur from Hackensack, was an American history
buff) which was worth fifty dollars. If the contestant, dizzy,
out of breath, heart doing fantastic rubber acrobatics in his
chest, missed the question, fifty dollars was deducted from his
winnings and the treadmill was speeded up.

------

The contestant on TREADMILL TO BUCKS had just missed a Bonus
Question and had had a heart attack simultaneously. He was
being carried off on a rubber stretcher while the audience
applauded.

------

He stood at the window a little while longer, then went back and
sat down. The new game, DIG YOUR GRAVE, was beginning.

------

A side door popped open and a dozen Games ushers wearing red
tunics came into the auditorium. They began to call out names.
White envelopes were passed out and soon they littered the
floor like confetti. Plastic assignment cards were read,
exchanged with new acquaintances. There were muffled groans,
cheers, catcalls as contestants learned the shows to which they
were assigned. Arthur M. Burns presided over it all from his
podium, smiling benevolently.

-That Christly HOW HOT CAN YOU TAKE IT, Jesus I hate the heat

-the show's a goddam two-bitter, comes on right after the
flictoons, for God's sake

-TREADMILL TO BUCKS, gosh, I didn't know my heart was-

-I was hoping I'd get it but I didn't really think-

-Hey, Jake, you ever seen this SWIM WITH THE CROCODILES? I
thought-

-nothing like I expected-

-I don't think you can-

-miserable goddam-

-This RUN FOR YOUR GUNS show-

"Benjamin Richards! Ben Richards?"

"Here!"

He was handed a plain white envelope and tore it open. His
fingers were shaking slightly and it took him two tries to
get the small plastic card out. He frowned down at it, not
understanding. No program assignment was punched on it. The
card read simply: ELEVATOR SIX.

Among all the useless remakes coming out these days, THE RUNNING MAN is
a movie I wish they actually would remake, and this time tell King's
actual story instead of that abortion a Hollywood writers room came up
with and slapped King's title on.

Ian J. Ball

unread,
Jun 14, 2020, 2:13:07 AM6/14/20
to
Yep. I figured all that out 1-3 seasons into Survivor and Big Brother,
and turned my back on the entire genre after that...

...With the exception of the original "Paradise Hotel" which was such
an over-the-top guilty pleasure that it sucked even me in.


--
"Who would ever do this to him!?" - HottCiara on DOOL (04-27-2020), asking
who would stab Victor Kirakis... How about ANYONE WHO'S EVER MET HIM??!!

BTR1701

unread,
Jun 14, 2020, 2:35:38 AM6/14/20
to
In article <rc4f5f$kmc$1...@dont-email.me>,
What's ironic is that Ramsay opened a real Hell's Kitchen restaurant at
Caesar's Palace in Vegas, with the decor modeled after the TV show's set
and it was some of the best food I've ever had. And there wasn't even
any need for the head chef to scream at anyone.
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