Home Improvement Script Episode 30 v2
diku...@diku.dk
* HOME IMPROVEMENT *
********************
SCRIPT
Version 2
Episode 30
"The Haunting of Taylor House"
Written by Susan Estelle Jansen
Script transcribed by Jan Nielsen
(E-mail: nor...@diku.dk)
Written on 18th Oct. 1994
Episode synopsis:
The Taylors celebrate Halloween. Brad is having a party but when Jennifer
arrives, she's with Danny. She was supposed to be with Brad.
Note:
My English is far from perfect, so please bear with me if I've put a
comma where there shouldn't have been one or made a spelling error and
so on. When I'm unsure of the spelling of a word, I have written the word
as I would spell it and put a <?> immediately after it. When the <?> is
instead of a word, it means that I can't hear, what they say. If you want
to help me make the scripts complete, I would be glad to hear from you,
also if you just want to say hi. Thanks to Daniel Andersson for providing
the episode titles and to Stephen Hill for introducing the lay-out.
**************************************
* Characters and their abbreviations *
**************************************
Regular cast:
Tim Taylor ......................... Tim Allen
Jill Taylor ........................ Patricia Richardson
Wilson ............................. Earl Hindman
Mark Taylor ........................ Taran Noah Smith
Randy Taylor ....................... Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Brad Taylor ........................ Zachary Ty Bryan
Al Borland ......................... Richard Karn
Guest Cast:
Jennifer............................ Jessica Wesson
Curtis.............................. Aaron Freeman
Danny............................... Rider Strong
ABBREVIATIONS
______________________________
/ / /|
/ A: AL / M: MARK / /
/ B: BRAD / R: RANDY / /
/ J: JILL / T: TIM / /
/ / W: WILSON / /
/______________/______________/ /
|______________|______________|/
GUEST CAST
______________________________
/ / /|
/ JE: JENNIFER / CU: CURTIS / /
/ / DA: DANNY / /
/______________/______________/ /
|______________|______________|/
<Episode begins in the TV studio. Tim is finishing a brick wall. Al looks at a
pumpkin on the workbench. He turns around to Tim.>
T: Right now that we have an even layer of mortar it's time to float our brick.
There you go. One more course and our brick wall will be finished. Oh golly
Al. I'm out of brick.
A: Are you telling me, Tim, that you're a few bricks shy of a load? <He laughs
and makes a snoring sound>
T: No, I'm telling you that you're one wise crack short of unemployment. <Snores
back at Al>. Now please go back and get the rest of the brick, all right? <Al
leaves.> While Al is back there, let's finish up that...
<Tim signals the audience to be quiet. He runs back stage. Al comes running
back.>
A: Uh Tim. There doesn't seem to be any... Uh Tim? <Short pause> Tim?!
<Cut to back stage. Tim wears horrible grey mask and ugly grey gloves with long
fingers.>
T: <With a deep metallic voice.> Tim is not here anymore!
<Cut to Al's face. He's looking into the camera, not a bit surprised. Tim comes
out running towards Al. He's screaming to scare him. He moves his fingers in
front of Al's face. Al still doesn't seem surprised. Tim gives up and caresses
Al's nose with his fingers.>
T: I got you pretty good, didn't I?
A: Yes Tim, I'm quaking.
<Cut to Tim's face. He's looking into the camera. Cut back to Tim and Al.>
T: That's a good mask. Who are you supposed to be?
A: I'm Al!
<Tim screams loud and runs to the camera looking directly into it and rocking
it from side to side.>
T: IT'S AN AAAAL!
<He gets serious again, takes the gloves and the mask off and walks back to Al.>
T: It's Halloween and we all can't be as spooky as Al here. But we can cut
ourselves some frightening jack-o'-lanterns.
A: That's right Tim. As you can see I've already carved my jack-o'-lantern.
<Al turns on a switch to light the lantern. It lights up and reveals a picture
of Al's head. The audience claps appreciative>
A: Look Tim. I notice that you haven't carved your jack-o'-lantern.
T: How perceptive of you, Al. Well I could spend long boring hours widdling<?>
away with an incy-mincy carving knife like you. <Raises his voice to shouting
during this line.> Or I could put some excitement into the pumpkin carving
process and sculpt my pumpkin using what?!
Audience: MORE POWER!!!
T: Darn right more power! I've cored and scored this bad boy and all I need now
is a little explosion to pop the pieces out of the pumpkin. <Short pause>
I've filled the pumpkin with natural gas and installed a small sparking
device that's activated by this simple remote control. <Holds up a little
black box. To the camera:> Don't try this at home children!
A: Tim. I believe that charge might be a little...
T: <Cuts in> Too powerful for you Al or too man-ly, a little too macho?
A: No...
T: <Cuts in> If that's the case Al why don't you just cower and hide behind the
desk here. <Al hides under the workbench> 'cause this bad boy is about ready
to go.
<Tim presses the button and pieces of the pumpkin fly out the front and back. It
reveals a simply carved jack-o'-lantern.>
T: See there Al. Nothing to worry about, buddy!
<Al gets up from the desk and his face in covered with the inside of the
pumpkin. He spits a little piece out. Tim looks at Al and then into the camera
with a little smile. Cut by making Tim's head a pumpkin that falls down.>
<Opening credits>
<Cut to kitchen. Jill and Mark are preparing food. Jill walks to the stairs to
the bacement.>
J: Tim! How are you doing down there?
T: Almost done. Igor, let go of my leg!
<Jill walks back to Mark, and Randy approaches.>
R: What are you guys doing?
J: We are making the food for Brad's Halloween party. <With the voice of an old
lady> Perhaps you would like to try some dirt and worms. <Eat some disgusting
food. She makes some strange noises.>
R: Mum, please tell me I'm adopted.
J: _De_-licious.
R: Oh gross! <Means disgusting.>
<You hear screams and deep-voice laughter from the bacement. Tim comes up.>
T: Well Honey. I don't think we have to worry about the insurance salesman for a
while. Ha ha ha ha.
R: How's "Haunted House"?
T: "Haunted House"?! Come on. I designed the "Catacombes of Terror".
R: Can we take a look?
T: <To Randy and Mark> Well it's pretty scary and dangerous down there. Are
either of you pregnant or wearing a pacemaker?
R: No!
T: <Repeating Randy> "Nooou!"
J: <Laughs> What have you been doing down there all day long? What takes so
long?
T: Come on Honey. Horror takes time. And besides... When Brad's guests get
here tonight, they'll be down there with their hair bleast-wide<?> eyes
bugging out with that look of horror... <He makes a horror face and makes
some strage noises.>
J: That's the way you looked on our wedding day. <Short pause>
T: I shouldn't have lifted the veil. <Short pause>
J: Who told you to wear it? <Short pause> Ha ha. Come sit down here. I want you
to finish all this up here so I can go pick up my costume.
T: Wait a minute. The party starts in an hour.
J: Oh Honey. I've been running around like crazy to getting all this stuff done.
I didn't have time to get it.
T: All right. What do I do?
J: Okay. I want you to put these grapes into this tabioka.
T: What's that supposed to be?
J: Eye-balls and pus! <Takes one and eats it.> Umm.
T: Home cooking, huh? Wait, wait, wait. If I put green fruit colour in here,
it'll look _infected_.
J: Oh, that's good. That's real good. Do that.
<Brad comes down from upstairs. He's dressed in a somewhat Raggedy costume.>
B: <To Jill> Mum. Everything fits except for the pants.
T: <To Brad> Who are you. No, what are you?!
J: Raggedy Andy.
T: Oh right. It's Halloween. I'm sorry. Look out Frankenstein. Look out
Werewolf. It's Raggedy. No, just when I thought it was safe to go back to
the toy box. It's Andy.
J: Come on.
T: Hey, buu! Hey bu-u. Buu dude buu.
J: He and Jennifer are dressing alike. She's gonna go as Raggedy Ann. Now
hold still 'cause I'm gonna be pinning you here.
B: I feel like a sissy!
J: You are _not_ a sissy! The two of you are gonna look so cute together.
B: I can't believe I'm doing this!
T: Brad. Lot of times men do things they don't wanna do so the women they're
going out with will do things they don't wanna do. <Short pause>
B: Like what?
J: Yeah, like what Tim?
<Pause for about 5 seconds while Tim thinks of what to say.>
T: Getting married, degrease an engine, shave your backhair.
<Randy and Mark come up from the bacement. You can hear the deep-voice laugther
again.>
T: <To Randy and Mark> Shut the door please!
R: <Scared> Dad. I opened the tool locker and saw...
T: <Makes him silent> Quiet.
R: <To Brad> Hey, why are you wearing a mop on your head?
B: <To Randy> Shut up gig!
M: <To Brad> I think your costume looks great.
B: <To Mark> Oh if you like it, I'm dead.
<Mark tastes the food on the table>
J: Okay boys. Let's go. You go get your costumes on now. <To Mark> Put that
down. Put it down! Go. Now, now, now!
<The boys leave and Jill goes back to Tim.>
T: Raggedy Andy. Brad's got it bad for that girl Jennifer.
J: Oh, if I asked you to wear that costume you would wear it for me, wouldn't
you?
T: <Kisses Jill> I don't think so Jill. Besides... Brad likes Jennifer a lot
more than I like you. You wouldn't catch<?> me with any fairy-tale outfit.
Because I have the scariest costume in the whole city. Hoh oh oh.
J: Wrong <?> <?> <?>. The rental house manager has guaranteed me that I have
the scarriest looking costume that they have _ever_ had.
T: They have a costume, that look like you at 7 a.m.?
<Jill walks out and Tim makes a yawning face to look like Jill.>
<Cut to the garden. Tim comes out to talk to Wilson.>
T: Wilson. The "Catacombe of Terror" is just about complete. But I need your
chains.
W: Aha. Right inside the garage, good neighbour.
T: This is gonna be great. It's gonna be so scary down there, those kids are
gonna love this.
W: Well I'm sure they will Tim. I believe it was Winston Churchill that said
there was nothing so exhilarating than being shot at and missed.
<Wilson goes into the garage to get the chains.>
T: It's a safe bet, it wasn't Lincoln who said that.
W: <Comes back and hands the chains to Tim> Well everybody loves a good scare
Tim.
T: Yeah, why is that?
W: Well Tim. It's just a physical reaction. When a person becomes frightened,
his body releases large amounts of epinephrin.
T: I love that song too. <Sings>
TALL AND TAN AND YOUNG AND LOVELY
THE GIRL FROM EPINEPHRIN GOES...
<Wilson walks to his table and fixing the electric wires to his pumpkin.>
W: No no no no Tim. No Tim. You're talking Epanema, I'm talking epinephrin.
T: <Grunting> Oh yeah, sure you are. Oh yeah.
W: Well let's just say adrenalin. It speeds up the conversion of glycogen into
glycose.
<Wilson turns on the power and reveals the picture on the pumpkin. It is Wilson
staring over the fence! : ) Pause for about 10 seconds.>
W: And glycose supplies energy to the muscles thus making them more efficient
for fight or flight.
T: I don't care what it does. When Brad's friends see this "Catacombe of Terror"
they'll be epinephrin in their pants! <Short pause> After 8 o'clock why don't
you slide around back and let yourself in the bacement.
W: I'll be there Tim.
T: Oh I also need that special meat cleaver. You know what I'm talking about?
W: Aha. Coming right up neighbour.
<Cut to the stairs. Randy is dressed in a Pirate's costume. He yells upstairs.>
R: Mark! Hurry up! Come on! Johnny's mum's gonna be here!
<Randy runs into the living room. Tim comes from the garden. He has the meat
cleaver through his head!>
T: Hey Randy.
R: What?
T: Have you seen that meat cleaver around here anywhere?
R: <Has obviously seen this gag before> No Dad!
T: Come on. I've got a splittin' headache. <Short pause>
D: Dad. Don't you ever get tired of that fake meat cleaver gag?
T: I've got a little surprise for you fellow. This is a real meat cleaver. It's
a fake head! <Laughs> Where's Mum?
R: Uh, she's upstairs getting dressed.
T: Is it a really scary costume?
R: I don't know. I haven't seen it.
<Mark comes out. He's dressed as Tim "The Toolman" Taylor with toolbelt and
all.>
M: I'm ready. <Short pause.>
R: <To Mark> Who are you supposed to be?
M: I'm Daddy. I'm Tim "The Toolman" Taylor!
T: <Grunting> Oh oh OH OH oh.
M: Oh oh OH OH oh.
<Tim and Mark slap their hands.>
R: <To Mark> You should have gone as Al. We could have gotten more stuff.
<Short pause. You hear a car horn outside.>
R: Oh. That's Johnny's Mum. We've gotta go.
<Randy takes a sack with things in it and wants to go out. Tim stops him and
takes the sack. He takes the things out as he says it.>
T: Let's take a look in there quick. What have you got in there, Nobeard? Okay.
We've got eggs, soap, shaving cream. Are you gonna hatch one of these, get a
chicken, shave it and give it a bath?
R: Johnny's mum asked us to pick up a few things. She said she didn't have time
to go to the store. <Short pause>
T: Nice try!
<The car horn honks again.>
T: You guys get going. Have some fun and remember: Only go to houses we know.
And don't... <Randy says this simultaneously> eat anything 'til we've had a
chance to check it out. <Only Tim:> Watch both ways when you cross the
street. Have some fun. <Shouts upstairs to Jill> Honey. Will you hurry on
down here? The kids are almost here and I can't wait to see your scary
costume.
J: <Shouts from upstairs> I hope you're watching those monkey skulls. They
shouldn't get too soft.
T: <Suddenly remembers them and heads for the oven.> Shoot!
<Jill comes down and says from behind the set:>
J: Oh no. I hope you didn't ruin them.
<Tim opens the oven and looks in.>
T: No they're all right. The monkeys are fine but that organ grinder is a little
crispy in there.
<Jill comes down dressed as a gigantic CARROT. Tim holds up his hands in front
of him screaming.>
J: Don't even start.
T: That's the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life!
J: I had a little problem with the reservation.
T: <Shouting> Hide the dip!
J: They lost my reservation. This is all they had left.
<The doorbell rings.>
T: Wait a minute. Wait a minute now. <Shouts upstairs> Hey Brad. Hustle up,
you're friends are here.
B: <From upstairs> I'll be right down.
<Tim opens the door for three kids.>
Kids: Trick or treat!
<A deep scream from the bacement.>
T: Quick! Get in. Come on.
J: <Comes to the door. To the kids:> You look so great. These are great
costumes. You got a devil and a ballerina and <raising her pitch> a bunny.
T: <To Bunny> Hey, I don't like the way you're looking at Ms. Carrot. Get over
here. Get over here. Come on.
<Curtis comes in dressed like an atom with two rings of electrons.>
CU: Hi Mrs. Taylor.
J: <Not happy, just polite to Curtis> Curtis! Oh hoh. Tim, Curtis is here!
CU: Mrs. Taylor, that's a great costume.
J: Thank you Curtis.
CU: <Says this naturally> You can't even see how fat you are. <Short pause>
J: What are you supposed to be, Curtis?
CU: I'm an atom.
J: <Not polite anymore> Then why don't you split?
CU: Very funny Mrs. Taylor.
T: <To Curtis> Hey, tell you what Curtis. Why don't you help put the hair on
the monkey skulls.
<The doorbell rings again.>
B: <Shouts from upstairs> I'll get it!
<He runs very awkwardly down the stairs with those big shoes. He opens the door.
It's Jennifer. But she's dressed in leather.>
JE: <Calm> Hi Bradley.
<Brad has almost freezed.>
B: I thought you were coming as Raggedy Ann.
JE: I changed my mind.
B: Why?
JE: You made it very clear that you didn't wanna be with me at this party with
me tonight.
B: When?
RE: You know when.
<Danny enters. He's dressed as Jennifer.>
DA: <To Brad> Hey Taylor.
B: What's going on here?
<Danny stands besides Jennifer.>
DA: Nothing. Jennifer and I are together.
B: She's supposed to be with me.
DA: So get over it! And besides, you're having a bad hair-day dude! <He touches
Brad's red hair>
B: Shut up Danny! <Slaps him>
<Danny pushes back and Tim comes from behind catching Brad.>
T: Hey, hey! Cut it out! Come on. We don't do this around here.
DA: <Points at Brad> He started it.
T: <To Brad> Did you start this?
B: <Runs out> Leave me alone.
T: <Runs after Brad> Hey. Come on Brad. Come back here!
<Cut to the living room. Curtis and Jill (maybe move) have witnessed the
situation.>
CU: <To Jill> Mrs. Taylor. Why did Brad leave?
J: Well... I don't know. I suppose he's just embarrassed about his costume.
CU: Oh... When are you gonna leave?
<Commercial break>
<Previous scene continued. Tim walks around with a bowl of something.>
T: Okay girls. Here you go. Dirt filled with worms. Ha haaa. <He walks to a
chair with a skeleton in it. To the skeleton:> Come on buddy, you gotta eat
something! <The girls laugh>
<Jennifer and Danny sit on the couch. Curtis approaches them.>
CU: <To Danny> Hi! My name is Curtis. You don't have a very good costume.
DA: Take a hike!
CU: Guess what I am.
DA: An idiot?
<Cut to kitchen where Tim and Jill are talking. Jill fumbles with her zipper on
the front of the costume. Everytime she talks the top of her costume gets into
Tim's face.>
T: How's Brad doing?
J: Oh, he's okay. He just wants to have a few minutes by himself. You know the
zipper is like sticking and I think I had too much punch. Can you fix this
for me?
T: <Grunting> Oh you had too much punch. How does this feel? <Punches her softly
in the stomach.>
J: <Jill screams.> Oh, don't do that. Come on.
<Tim walks to the counter looking in a drawer.>
J: What are you looking for?
T: Vegetable peeler. <Takes one up in front of Jill.>
J: Oh Tim. This is getting, you know like kind of, serious.
T: Is it serious, huh? Let me get the bolt cutter. <Heads for the garage.>
J: No no no no. I put a huge deposit on this thing.
T: Just kidding. A little spray lubricate will... <Sprays something on the
zipper.>
J: You have to do this now.
T: Sit still for a minute.
J: Now!
<Curtis comes in the kitchen.>
CU: Mr. Taylor?
T: Yeah, what is it Curtis?
CU: Where's the bathroom?
T: Well, for atoms like you it's down the hall near the cyclotron.
<Curtis heads for the hall.>
J: <To Tim about the zipper> You got it?
T: You're free.
<Jill also runs to the hall. She overtakes Curtis.>
J: <To Curtis, shouting> Outta my way, atom boy.
<Curtis comes back walking backwards. Jill is really speeding : ) >
<Cut to garden. Brad sits out there and Tim comes out.>
T: How is it going, sport?
B: Okay!
T: Don't you wanna come inside and join the rest of us?
B: I think I'm gonna beat up Danny.
T: Aren't you mad at the wrong person?
B: I can't beat up Jennifer.
T: I don't know. I think you can take her. <Short pause>
B: Dad!
T: What happened to you two? What did you do?
B: Nothing!
T: Come on. What's the last thing that happened before she got mad at you?
B: I don't know.
T: Help me, think. Was it tonight? Yesterday? After school?
B: Yesterday after school we played kickball.
T: Right. You've got a clue now. You didn't kick her in the face with a ball,
did you?
B: No!
T: Good. 'cause women really hate that. What did you do?
B: I didn't do anything. Besides, why does it have to be my fault?
T: Son, it's always our fault.
B: Why didn't she just tell me? She said I should know.
T: She didn't tell you because women aren't as smart as they think they are.
They don't realise how little we actually know. You've gotta go in there and
find out what's going on. Try to see her side.
B: I don't care about her side.
T: Really? Why are you wearing a red wig and size 18 shoe?
B: <Silent> Okay I care.
T: All right. Go in there and talk to her. And remember: The two most important
things you can say to a woman are: "I understand".
B: "I understand"?
T: Right. Say those two words and they'll forgive you for just about anything.
B: Got it.
T: Oh, one more thing: Loose the wig and shoes.
<Brad takes the shoes off. Cut to kitchen where Jennifer is bored. Danny has
obviously disappeared for a while. Cut to Tim and Jill talking.>
J: How's Brad?
T: He's okay. We had a little man-to-man talk. I shared some of my expertise on
women.
J: Oh. After that you talked about neuro-surgery?
T: No we talked about much happier you'd have been if you'd married a big
cabbage.
<Cut to living room. Brad comes in and sits in front of Jennifer.>
B: Hi.
JE: Hello.
B: I thought you were coming as Raggedy Ann.
JE: I was going to.
B: I understand.
<Cut to Tim in the background cleaning up. When he hears Brad's last line he
bends his elbow swinging it down as if he says: "YES!!!".>
JE: Understand what?
<Brad looks at Tim for a second but he just spreads his hands to signal he
doesn't know.>
B: Uh... I... I understand you're mad at me.
JE: Who wouldn't be. In kickball, you picked Elaine instead of me.
B: She's good. I wanted to win.
JE: You embarrassed me. You should have seen Elaine. She was gloating.
B: Why didn't you just say something on the playground.
JE: Bradley, how could you not know. You can be so dense.
B: <Selfconfident> Hey, I may be dense but my team won!
<Tim begins to cough.>
T: <Hidden in the cough> Don't start talking like that! <Coughs again to make it
seem real.>
<Brad moves himselfs to sit next to Jennifer.>
B: Well, I understand that winning doesn't matter. I should have picked you.
JE: I'm sorry I didn't come as Raggedy Ann.
B: Yeah, not as sorry as I am.
<Cut to bacement. You can hear "scary" music and deep-voice laughter. The floor
is covered with smoke and the room is full of ghosts and other Halloween stuff
including a chemisty set with boiling liquids. Jill comes down the stairs. The
kids are behind her.>
J: Okay everybody. Come on down. <She tries to turn on the light but the switch
doesn't work.> Uh oh. The lights don't work. This is not good. Be very
careful. Stay together. Watch out for hideous monsters.
<Curtis is right behind Jill.>
CU: There are no hideous monsters down here.
J: There's at least one, Curtis!
<Again you hear deep-voice laugter.>
DA: <From the top of the stairs> This isn't scary. It's totally lame!
<Mark dressed in the horrible mask that Tim had at the studio comes out
screaming at the kids. Everybody but Danny screams.>
DA: Oh come on Jennifer. That's just Brad's dumm little brother.
M: It is not me.
<You hear some bangs and chains.>
J: Wait, wait. Watch out, watch out. That's chains. What could it be?
<Jill points her flashlight at a coffin. It opens and reveals Tim dressed as a
female zombie or something. He has a big scar on his forehead.>
J: It's Nanastein. <You remember? Jill's mother's name is Nana!>
T: <With a female strange voice> Mother-in-law from beyond the grave!
<Tim takes his hands in front of him like a zombie and walks towards the
children. He stops on the way and begins to cough. He takes something out of his
mouth.>
T: <Still with strange voice> I seem to have harked up a little maggot. <Holds
it up.>
<Jill and the kids makes that noise you say when something is disgusting:
"Eeeew!">
T: Now I wanna kiss a little kid. Come here.
<Tim walks to the stairs but the children scream and runs up to the house. Only
Danny stays. Tim follows them but at the top of the stairs he turns around and
walks down again. But he bangs his head at the pipe over the stairs. He never
leans!>
DA: <To Tim> This is pathetic. You are in a dress, you son's a doll and your
wife is a radish.
J: <To Danny> Hey I'm a carrot. Learn you vegetables.
T: <With his normal voice> Hey lighten up a little bit. Don't wreck this for
everybody else, okay?
DA: I you've built it, it's all gonna fall apart anyway. I've seen you show. It
should be called "Fool Time".
T: <With the strange voice again> Making fun of Nanasteins favorite show is not
a good idea, son. Why don't you check out Nana's little toolbox, Smarty?
<points to it.>
DA: Oh oh. A toolbox. I'm scared! What's gonna happen? Is the wrench gonna pop
out and say buu?
<Danny walks towards a big man-size box with a toolbox on it.>
T: I don't know.
<Danny opens the toolbox but it falls apart and reveals a bucket on the top of
the big box.>
DA: Uh-huh-huh. A bucket. I'm scared!
<He removes the bucket. Underneath is Al's head. He's dressed as a vampire. He
turns around to face Danny and shows his teath. Now Danny gets scared, screams
and runs upstairs. But on the stairs someone stops him. I can't see if it Mark
in the same costume. But it could also be Randy. Danny turns around trying to
get away. Cut to Al.>
A: Aaaaaaah. Where's my body? My body!
<Danny freezes with his back up against something covered with a sheet. The
sheet lifts off and reveals Wilson dressed as a mummy with his normal hat on. He
grabs Danny around the neck with one arm and Danny tries to run. But Wilson
lifts in the air and Danny gets loose. He runs upstairs and out.>
<Cut to Tim and Al still in their costumes They look into the camera and smile.
The other kids clap.>
<Cut to later same night. Tim is helping Wilson to get off the wire that lifted
him up in the air. Al is still in the box.>
A: Well Tim. Your "Haunted House" was a huge succes. I've gotta hand it to you.
T: With what? <Laughs>
W: Oh, thank you Nanastein. You are looking so youthful this evening.
T: <With the strange voice> Well that's probably that new moisturizer: That
"Formaldehyde of Olay".
W: See you later. Al, nice working with you. <Walks upstairs>
A: Good night Wilson.
T: Let me follow you up. I'll get that cleaver and give it back. <Heads for the
stairs>
A: Tim!
T: What is it, Al?
A: Well what about me?
T: What about you?
A: Well there's spiders down here!
T: Al, those spiders are like joke spiders. Jill bought those at like a
magician shop. They're rubber spiders. They're a lot of fun. Okay?
<Cut to Al. In front of him on the box you can see a gigantic spider and it's
alive!>
A: Tim?
T: I'll be right down to get you. <Walks upstairs.>
A: Tim. <To himself> I don't think she bought this at a joke store. <Shouts>
Tim! Tiiiiiiim!
<You can hear the echo of the last one for a while. You can also hear a
deep-voice laughter.>
CREDITS
<Outtakes from the last scene. Really funny. Must be seen.>
Crew: 3 - 2...
A: Well Tim. I have to... <Forgets his line> Mmm.
<Beep. Cut.>
Crew: 3 - 2...
A: Well... <Laughs>
<Beep. Cut.>
T: We are not highly paid but we are skilled. Not even that skilled! <Laughs.>
<Beep. Cut.>
T: And I'm not wearing any underwear.
<A female voice says "Bu".>
THE END
