Soccer Ball Tournament

[BTR1701]

I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of soccer.
It's unwatchable.

I guess just can't handle the seat-gripping intensity of a world title
match ending at 1-1 with no tie-breaker.

Plus me being straight, watching male models jog for an hour and a half
doesn't appeal to me, although it is amusing when one of them lightly
grazes the other and the the grazee drops to the ground howling in agony.
Some Oscar-worthy performances there.

And the way the clock is managed... 90 minutes and then just add an
arbitrary amount of time to the end of the game. 2 minutes, 3 minutes.
Whatever the ref feels like that day. WTF?

An idea to make soccer more watchable: each team gets a sniper and five
non-lethal rounds per game.

Or maybe Extreme Endurance Soccer:

Drop the ball in Kansas. First team to kick it into an ocean wins.

[shawn]

On Wed, 23 Nov 2022 21:46:14 +0000, BTR1701 <no_e...@invalid.invalid>
wrote:

>
>I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of soccer.
>It's unwatchable.
>
>I guess just can't handle the seat-gripping intensity of a world title
>match ending at 1-1 with no tie-breaker.

Yeah, that sounds like an exciting way to spend an afternoon. Or you
could go outside and watch some grass grow. Either one seems just as
enjoyable.

>Plus me being straight, watching male models jog for an hour and a half
>doesn't appeal to me, although it is amusing when one of them lightly
>grazes the other and the the grazee drops to the ground howling in agony.
>Some Oscar-worthy performances there.
>
>And the way the clock is managed... 90 minutes and then just add an
>arbitrary amount of time to the end of the game. 2 minutes, 3 minutes.
>Whatever the ref feels like that day. WTF?

I'm sure there's some sort of rules governing that but don't care
enough about the game to try and look it up.

>An idea to make soccer more watchable: each team gets a sniper and five
>non-lethal rounds per game.

Why not just equip the teams with tasers that they can use at any time
but they can't reload them?

>Or maybe Extreme Endurance Soccer:
>
>Drop the ball in Kansas. First team to kick it into an ocean wins.

Does it matter which ocean or does each team get assigned a different
ocean? I feel for the team that gets assigned the Indian Ocean.

[Ed Stasiak]

> BTR1701

>
> I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of soccer.
> It's unwatchable.

I've always thought that soccer could be greatly improved (well, a bit less boring)
by implementing hockey style penalty rules, with teams going on power plays up by one
man but soccer fans are vehemently opposed to this, as I guess they just hate scoring
and would rather waste 90mins watching guys casually jog up and down the field doing
literally nothing, all for it to end in a 0-0 tie.

https://i.postimg.cc/pr3VLKYy/soccer.gif

Still, I'm rooting for Team USA to beat England, not because I care but because the
Brits would absolutely flip their shit for generations to come while 99% of Americans
wouldn't even know it happened, as they'd be watching football.

[moviePig]

On 11/23/2022 4:46 PM, BTR1701 wrote:
>
> I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of
> soccer. It's unwatchable.

Then, for the next few weeks, I recommend another planet.

> I guess just can't handle the seat-gripping intensity of a world
> title match ending at 1-1 with no tie-breaker.

If that result granted your nation self-esteem, you might sit up.

> Plus me being straight, watching male models jog for an hour and a
> half doesn't appeal to me, although it is amusing when one of them
> lightly grazes the other and the the grazee drops to the ground
> howling in agony. Some Oscar-worthy performances there.

Well, yes. (It is, after all, a child's game...)

> And the way the clock is managed... 90 minutes and then just add an
> arbitrary amount of time to the end of the game. 2 minutes, 3
> minutes. Whatever the ref feels like that day. WTF?

Better and simpler than a shot-clock.

> An idea to make soccer more watchable: each team gets a sniper and
> five non-lethal rounds per game.
>
> Or maybe Extreme Endurance Soccer:
>
> Drop the ball in Kansas. First team to kick it into an ocean wins.

Barring those, one could resort to getting a grasp of the game itself...

[moviePig]

On 11/23/2022 5:18 PM, Ed Stasiak wrote:
>> BTR1701
>>
>> I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of soccer.
>> It's unwatchable.
>
> I've always thought that soccer could be greatly improved (well, a bit less boring)
> by implementing hockey style penalty rules, with teams going on power plays up by one
> man but soccer fans are vehemently opposed to this, as I guess they just hate scoring
> and would rather waste 90mins watching guys casually jog up and down the field doing
> literally nothing, all for it to end in a 0-0 tie.

Instructively, real soccer fans actually find a 9-7 game boring.

> https://i.postimg.cc/pr3VLKYy/soccer.gif
>
> Still, I'm rooting for Team USA to beat England, not because I care but because the
> Brits would absolutely flip their shit for generations to come while 99% of Americans
> wouldn't even know it happened, as they'd be watching football.

Live that dream: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0354595

Actually, there have already been two HUGE upsets in this tournament.
The U.S. beating England would be destabilizing, and cause panic...

[Dimensional Traveler]

Sci-fi author John Ringo on the differences between American football
and soccer.

"In football, there are constant pauses where both sides reconsolidate.
The leader, dealing with advisors out of the battle frenzy, determines
the moves for the next assault while casualties are removed and resupply
(WATERBOY!) is managed without interfering with the planning. Once the
plan is established, it is sent to all the lower units who move into
position and on H Hour begin the assault. There is an objective, but the
objective is rarely reached, rather the assault brings the forces
forward a bit farther and another assault is planned. During the
assault, each unit has a stated objective and often secondary objectives
with precise plans on how to achieve them. That being said, sometimes,
often, in the midst of the assault, the plans tend to go awry and units
have to act in an aggressive, intelligent and pro-active manner to
ensure its success. Most of plans are not designed to take the main
objective, but to prevent the enemy from reacting to the main assault.

Occasionally broad, deceptive stratagems are enacted and are very
successful. But in general the best technique is a slow ground pound
towards the enemy headquarters. This may be more brutal, but it's also
the best way to avoid major defeats. Occasional airmobile raids and
assaults into the enemy backfield are appropriate and can enact major
gains. They also can enact major defeats, so choose wisely. And,
eventually, you take the enemy's headquarters and, nine times out of
ten, they counterattack. The bastards.

In the meantime the defenders are making their plans. They aren't as
fixed as the assault group, because they don't know exactly what the
assault will turn out to be. So, by and large, they put their heavy
forces to the fore with light, fast forces to the rear in case the enemy
stages a breakout. They would like to stop the enemy cold or even
counterattack and push them back. But their main focus is simply to
break up the attack and channel it to ineffectiveness. Occasionally they
base their strategy on a plan of counter-attack during the assault. It's
risky, it risks that their intermediate weight "anti-breakout" units are
tied up in the counter-attack. But when successful it's devastating.

In soccer there is a continuous fluidity. The objective changes from
moment to moment and no one can give clear orders because the situation
changes too rapidly. There are, at best, weak and limited plans with
exception of occasional brilliant coordination by a few minor units. The
best most leaders can do is give general directions and hope for the
best. Although there is a target, it is rarely achieved. There is no
logistical resupply except removing units and replacing them with
sub-par ones. It depends upon the fleet movement of light fast units. If
you kick them in the shins they tend to fall on the ground writhing in
agony.

Football is how Americans fight wars. Soccer is how the French do it.

I know which one I'd choose."

--
I've done good in this world. Now I'm tired and just want to be a cranky
dirty old man.

[BTR1701]

On Nov 23, 2022 at 3:42:07 PM PST, "Dimensional Traveler" <dtr...@sonic.net>
wrote:

SOCCER PLAYER: barely touched: collapses to ground, rolls around on the grass
for 10 minutes screaming in agony, has to be carried off the field barely
conscious.

FOOTBALL PLAYER: tackled head-on by a 300-lb wall of meat, hauls himself off
the ground, begs the coach not to bench him as he stuffs the piece of brain
oozing from his ear back in. Has to be physically prevented from returning to
the game by team medical staff.

[A Friend]

In article <uqycnWd_nOe8UeP-...@giganews.com>, BTR1701

<atr...@mac.com> wrote:

> SOCCER PLAYER: barely touched: collapses to ground, rolls around on the grass
> for 10 minutes screaming in agony, has to be carried off the field barely
> conscious.
>
> FOOTBALL PLAYER: tackled head-on by a 300-lb wall of meat, hauls himself off
> the ground, begs the coach not to bench him as he stuffs the piece of brain
> oozing from his ear back in. Has to be physically prevented from returning to
> the game by team medical staff.

Mae me laugh. A lot.

[Adam H. Kerman]

BTR1701 <no_e...@invalid.invalid> wrote:

>I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of soccer.
>It's unwatchable.

>I guess just can't handle the seat-gripping intensity of a world title
>match ending at 1-1 with no tie-breaker.

>Plus me being straight, watching male models jog for an hour and a half
>doesn't appeal to me, although it is amusing when one of them lightly
>grazes the other and the the grazee drops to the ground howling in agony.
>Some Oscar-worthy performances there.

I've seen clips of these. The performances are better than in pro
wrestling!

>And the way the clock is managed... 90 minutes and then just add an
>arbitrary amount of time to the end of the game. 2 minutes, 3 minutes.
>Whatever the ref feels like that day. WTF?

>An idea to make soccer more watchable: each team gets a sniper and five
>non-lethal rounds per game.

>Or maybe Extreme Endurance Soccer:

>Drop the ball in Kansas. First team to kick it into an ocean wins.

I like that.

[RichA]

On Wednesday, 23 November 2022 at 16:46:22 UTC-5, BTR1701 wrote:
> I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of soccer.
> It's unwatchable.

No kidding. It's like basketball. One has too few goals, the latter, too many points.
Want to fix them?
Shrink soccer pitches to 2/3rds their size and raising basketball nets another 2ft, would do WONDERS to fix things.
Give me football (Can-American), auto racing, some baseball and golf.

[trotsky]

I can see how this confuse you since you have no balls. A soccer player
has one type of protection: a cup because he does have balls. Football
players have full pads, helmet and a cup too. How the fuck is your
brain so fucking deficient as to think they're directly comparable?

[trotsky]

Why?

[trotsky]

The eunuchs have spoken!

[A Friend]

In article <tlngvj$1hvp$2...@gioia.aioe.org>, trotsky <gms...@email.com>
wrote:

"It's funny 'cuz it's true."

[Ed Stasiak]

> Dimensional Traveler

https://i.postimg.cc/htbp4hkB/soccer-v-football.jpg

[trotsky]

I find it to be horseshit like almost everything Eunuch Derp posts now.
Once upon a time he had at least a scintilla of credibility.

[moviePig]

Well, the ridiculous theatrics are true ...and, frankly, inexplicable.
What's not is the implication that soccer players want to be benched...

[BTR1701]

On Nov 23, 2022 at 2:18:28 PM PST, "Ed Stasiak" <edstas...@gmail.com>
wrote:

The huge USA vs England soccer game - ends in 0-0 tie.

<rolls eyes>

[moviePig]

Cricket's for you. Today the U.S. walloped Papua New Guinea 266 to 231.

[BTR1701]

In article <PnagL.22245$706d....@fx47.iad>,

Even the crowd in the stadium-- who presumably are all really into
soccer-- booed the final whistle.

[moviePig]

Those would be English fans who felt humiliated, which is most of them.

[trotsky]

Or they're just testy because they're used to drinking beer at games.

[Ed Stasiak]

> BTR1701
> > Ed Stasiak
> >
> > I've always thought that soccer could be greatly improved by implementing
> > hockey style penalty rules,
>

> The huge USA vs England soccer game - ends in 0-0 tie.

When so many games end in scoreless ties (especially at the highest level)
then your game is fundamentally flawed.

[moviePig]

I'd agree, were we not talking about the world's most popular sport...

[Your Name]

A tie simply means both teams are equally as good or bad as each other.

[trotsky]

One thing about sockpuppets: you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas.

[TomB...@agent.com]

On Fri, 25 Nov 2022 22:24:56 -0500, moviePig <pwal...@moviepig.com>
wrote:

If so, then Basketball has to be the second most popular sport and
those games have a ton of scoring.

[suzeeq]

The court isn't as long as a soccer field so you can go across it faster.

[moviePig]

Yeah, but there's a penalty-kick timeout every 20 seconds...

[suzeeq]

Also, the scoring is different. 3 points for a basket from the court, 2
and 1 for penalty shots. Soccer is only one point per goal.

[Ubiquitous]

no_e...@invalid.invalid wrote:

> I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of
> soccer. It's unwatchable.

Not as unwatchable as the spectacle of the open ceremonies!
Morgan Freeman and the "Embassodor of Soccer" really laid it on thick.

https://youtu.be/oezuNAP-bTA



-
Let's go Brandon!

[TomB...@agent.com]

I think it is safe to say there never was nor will there ever be a
basketball game that ended up with a score of 0-0

[moviePig]

Well, you may be right...

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2356114-2-0-really-how-this-high-school-basketball-game-made-history

[trotsky]

There would be if the Trump family were playing.

[BTR1701]

On Nov 23, 2022 at 1:46:14 PM PST, "BTR1701" <no_e...@invalid.invalid>

wrote:

>
> I'm sorry, but my love for my country is surpassed by my hatred of soccer.
> It's unwatchable.
>

> I guess just can't handle the seat-gripping intensity of a world title
> match ending at 1-1 with no tie-breaker.
>

> Plus me being straight, watching male models jog for an hour and a half
> doesn't appeal to me, although it is amusing when one of them lightly
> grazes the other and the the grazee drops to the ground howling in agony.
> Some Oscar-worthy performances there.
>
> And the way the clock is managed... 90 minutes and then just add an
> arbitrary amount of time to the end of the game. 2 minutes, 3 minutes.
> Whatever the ref feels like that day. WTF?
>

> An idea to make soccer more watchable: each team gets a sniper and five
> non-lethal rounds per game.
>

> Or maybe Extreme Endurance Soccer:
>
> Drop the ball in Kansas. First team to kick it into an ocean wins.

NEW YORK POST: US Women's National Team will get half of money won by US Men’s
Team at World Cup.

Why?

[moviePig]

Ultimately, to promote the sport, I'd assume. Same reason I saw my
first all-female refereeing crew at a men's WC game today. (Fwiw, the
heavens were not rent asunder.)

[shawn]

Because they whined enough to get the money so they would shut up.
It's the same reason little babies will keep whining to get your
attention once they figure out it works.

I get that the US Women's National Team is very good but until they
can start pulling in the same sort of viewership as the men's team I
can't see why they deserve any sort of bump in their money. It's not
like giving them this money is going to make them any better or help
them pull in more viewers.

[shawn]

On Thu, 1 Dec 2022 15:17:09 -0500, moviePig <pwal...@moviepig.com>
wrote:

How the hell does giving them any extra money help promote the sport?
It's not like the extra money is going to make them better players and
I can't see how the extra money is going to help bring in more
viewers. It's basically punishing the men because they aren't women
and because they are better at delivering what the fans want to watch.
So what's next? Mixed sex soccer/football only?

[moviePig]

I'm not judging its merits. I'm just inferring that there's a wish to
sell soccer as a sport for both women and men, and that the U.S. Soccer
Federation wants to think of itself as a non-gendered enterprise.
Here's a link, though it's not particularly enlightening:


chttps://www.latimes.com/sports/soccer/story/2022-05-18/u-s-soccer-reaches-new-cba-splitting-revenue-evenly-between-men-and-women

Suffice to say that, equal-pay deals notwithstanding, any players who
manage to grab the brass ring of stardom will profit accordingly.

[Ed Stasiak]

> shawn
> > BTR1701

> >
> >
> > NEW YORK POST: US Women's National Team will get half of money
> > won by US Men’s Team at World Cup.
>

> I get that the US Women's National Team is very good but until they
> can start pulling in the same sort of viewership as the men's team I
> can't see why they deserve any sort of bump in their money. It's not
> like giving them this money is going to make them any better or help
> them pull in more viewers.

They ought to give the money to the amateur boy's high school soccer
teams who repeatedly beat the professional women's teams...

[trotsky]

What, now you care about soccer all of a sudden when the misogyny kicks
in? Shut the fuck up.

[trotsky]

No, that's not correct. The U.S. Soccer Federation was legally beaten
into submission:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/22/sports/soccer/us-womens-soccer-equal-pay.html

U.S. Soccer and Women’s Players Agree to Settle Equal Pay Lawsuit

Under the terms of the agreement, the athletes will receive $24 million
and a pledge from the soccer federation to equalize pay for the men’s
and women’s national teams.


Due to the enormous popularity of the women's soccer team they sued for
equal revenue and won. So to claim that the U.S. Soccer Fed. is doing
something proactively couldn't be more wrong. It's a shame this group
has to be a haven of bad information.

[moviePig]

(Paywalled.) What was the basis of the "Equal Pay Lawsuit"? Breached
promise? Gender discrimination? Other?

[trotsky]

How about this one:

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/22/uswnt-and-us-soccer-federation-reach-24-million-settlement-in-equal-pay-lawsuit.htm


It's not easy to summarize, so you should take a peek at the sequence of
events.

[Micky DuPree]

shawn <nanof...@notforg.m.a.i.l.com> writes:

> I get that the US Women's National Team is very good but until they
> can start pulling in the same sort of viewership as the men's team I
> can't see why they deserve any sort of bump in their money. It's not
> like giving them this money is going to make them any better or help
> them pull in more viewers.

"Women's World Cup Final Drew Higher U.S. Ratings Than Men's Final"

<https://www.wsj.com/articles/womens-world-cup-final-drew-higher-u-s-ratings-than-mens-final-11562628017>

-Micky