Tarzan (1991-1994)

[Adam H. Kerman]

Does anyone remember the Tarzan series from the early '90s? It was a
French production, with Canadian financing and Mexico used for jungle
locations.

The trivia at IMDb sez that Joe Lara played Tarzan in the 1989 made-for-tv
movie Tarzan in Manhattan (which I don't recall). Wolf Larson beat out
Lara for this series, but Lara would return in the short-lived
Tarzan: The Epic Adventure. This was syndicated, had nothing to do with
the earlier movie. First run of Tarzan (1991) in the US was merely the
first season, but second and third season episodes were substituted for
Tarzaon (1996) after its cancellation, I guess to fulfill syndication
contracts already in place. As they were half hour episodes and the 1996
series was an hour, they edited two episodes together.

Larson was born Wolfgang von Wyszecki in West Germany in 1959 to a
German father and Canadian mother. His stage name "Larson" is actually
his wife's name.

It's kind of awful, a three person show set in the contemporary
period, plus the animals. Jane (Lydie Denier) was some sort of French
conservationist trying to save a few species (that are only found in
the New World, not Africa, whoops) and there doesn't seem to be any
chemistry between the two leads. Apparently it's the way they created
the series, not to mention that Larson's not much of an actor. Also,
I suspect Jane is jealous of Tarzan, who has the superior hair. Aside
from the ridiculous hair, Larson clearly bulked up for the role. Why
would Tarzan lift weights? He should look more like a natural athlete.

I wonder where they got the Tarzan yell from, maybe one of the old movies.

There's a rich kid played by Sean Roberge whose father must be funding
Jane's expedition; he's comic relief. A reviewer at IMDb commented that
Malick Bowens was a good actor with nothing to do on the show (he
narrates mostly), apparently there to be black, as there are no actors
playing local residents. The area is pretty much uninhabited except for
the leads. He gets replaced by Errol Slue in season 2.

Ron Ely showed up in one episode as a villain.

The main problems are the lack of romance and that Tarzan just doesn't
go anywhere. In the novels, he explored all over the place, encountered
ruins of Hellenic and Roman settlements and lost civilizations.

It's on Telexitos, a secondary broadcast subchannel on your Telemundo
affiliate. Telemundo is the Spanish language network owned by NBC Universal.

It's probably somewhat more entertaining as I'm not understanding much
of the dialogue.

[Rhino]

You're trying to watch a show that was lame in its original language but
doing so in Spanish, a language you apparently don't know very well?
Wow, I admire your determination. I don't think I'd have the patience to
spend my time on that.

I had to go to IMDB and look at the thumbnail of that series to figure
out if I'd even seen an episode of that version of Tarzan. As far as I
can recall, I saw a few ads for it and maybe watched a few minutes of an
episode but I was certainly not a regular viewer.

I remember reading the original book and thinking it was okay, although
I was pretty young at the time. I also remember watching the Ron Ely
series as a kid. That's pretty much my only contact with Tarzan though.
I never watched the old Tarzan movies beyond a little snippet here or
there. Oh, wait, I *did* see Greystoke at a theatre years back when it
came out. I let myself be seduced by the ads. I seem to recall finding
it quite disappointing.

Overall, Tarzan seems like an idea with potential but one that is
usually poorly realized.

--
Rhino

[anim8rfsk]

In article <n9q13n$jn$1...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> Does anyone remember the Tarzan series from the early '90s? It was a
> French production, with Canadian financing and Mexico used for jungle
> locations.

Yeah, I remember Lydie Denier as Jane. Mostly 'cause I didn't blink.

>
> The trivia at IMDb sez that Joe Lara played Tarzan in the 1989 made-for-tv
> movie Tarzan in Manhattan (which I don't recall). Wolf Larson beat out
> Lara for this series, but Lara would return in the short-lived
> Tarzan: The Epic Adventure.

Which was at least filmed in Africa, and had La of Opar and such. And
the Iron Mole! And Pellucidar! But they got rid of Jane *instantly*

TV and movies are terrified of having black natives in Africa.

>
> Ron Ely showed up in one episode as a villain.

Yay!

>
> The main problems are the lack of romance and that Tarzan just doesn't
> go anywhere. In the novels, he explored all over the place, encountered
> ruins of Hellenic and Roman settlements and lost civilizations.
>
> It's on Telexitos, a secondary broadcast subchannel on your Telemundo
> affiliate. Telemundo is the Spanish language network owned by NBC Universal.
>
> It's probably somewhat more entertaining as I'm not understanding much
> of the dialogue.

That would probably help.

--
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/

[anim8rfsk]

In article <n9q5dc$c9f$1...@dont-email.me>,

Greystoke was awful. It's one of those movies, like Coppolas's Bram
Stoker's Dracula, where they put out a press kit saying it was all
faithful, and the critics bought into it, even though it was hooey. The
Bo Derek Tarzan is closer to the source material than Greystoke is.

>
> Overall, Tarzan seems like an idea with potential but one that is
> usually poorly realized.

Yeah. I've seen a lot of them, and enjoyed a lot of them, but they're
never really quite *right*

[Ian J. Ball]

In article <n9q13n$jn$1...@news.albasani.net>,
"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> Does anyone remember the Tarzan series from the early '90s? It was a
> French production, with Canadian financing and Mexico used for jungle
> locations.
>
> The trivia at IMDb sez that Joe Lara played Tarzan in the 1989 made-for-tv
> movie Tarzan in Manhattan (which I don't recall). Wolf Larson beat out
> Lara for this series, but Lara would return in the short-lived
> Tarzan: The Epic Adventure. This was syndicated, had nothing to do with
> the earlier movie. First run of Tarzan (1991) in the US was merely the
> first season, but second and third season episodes were substituted for
> Tarzaon (1996) after its cancellation, I guess to fulfill syndication
> contracts already in place. As they were half hour episodes and the 1996
> series was an hour, they edited two episodes together.

I'm not sure - I know I saw the Lara version, but I don't remember if I
saw this one...

--
"Shall we sit and ponder the futility of caring?" - Morotia M. Black (aka.
Riley Matthews), "Girl Meets Yearbook", "Girl Meets World" (08-07-2015)

[Adam H. Kerman]

Rhino <no_offlin...@example.com> wrote:

>You're trying to watch a show that was lame in its original language but
>doing so in Spanish, a language you apparently don't know very well?
>Wow, I admire your determination. I don't think I'd have the patience to
>spend my time on that.

I have no idea what its "original" language was; I suppose French. A
couple of the actors were obviously French, but who knows what language
was spoken on set. As it had both Canadian and Mexican financing, then it
must have been done in English and Spanish as well. Larson spoke English,
but who knows about the others. I have no idea if he spoke French. I
doubt anyone spoke Spanish, so that must have been dubbed for Mexican tv.

In any event, it's not difficult to figure out what's going on and not
being able to understand much of the dialogue is surely an improvement.

[Ed Stasiak]

> anim8rfsk
>
> Greystoke was awful.

I thought it was ok and an interesting take the Tarzan tales.

> The Bo Derek Tarzan

I like this flick (not just for the T&A!) and also thought it was
an interesting way to do the story.

[Adam H. Kerman]

Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>a...@chinet.com wrote:

>>Does anyone remember the Tarzan series from the early '90s? It was a
>>French production, with Canadian financing and Mexico used for jungle
>>locations.

>Only vaguely. I think Universal Studios made a "Tarzan" ride at one of
>their theme parks, anticipating it to become a big hit. I seem to recall
>they cast a bodybuilder type with girlie hair for the part.

Oh, yeah. His hair is much nicer than Lydie Denier's, who played Jane
(and from what I could tell, was not his love interest). I never read
that he had been a bodybuilder although I'm sure he was in good shape.
He bulked himself up for the role, which just looked wrong. It's absurd
to have a Tarzan who clearly lifted weights for aesthetic reasons.

[Michael Black]

On Mon, 15 Feb 2016, Ubiquitous wrote:

> In article <n9q13n$jn$1...@news.albasani.net>, a...@chinet.com wrote:
>
>> Does anyone remember the Tarzan series from the early '90s? It was a
>> French production, with Canadian financing and Mexico used for jungle
>> locations.
>

> Only vaguely. I think Universal Studios made a "Tarzan" ride at one of
> their theme parks, anticipating it to become a big hit. I seem to recall
> they cast a bodybuilder type with girlie hair for the part.
>
>

The one he's talking about started in 1991, for three seasons. Tarzan was
played by Wolf Larson. He did have longish hair, kind of like off a
romance novel. Jane was played by a French woman, Lydie Denier. The only
reason I watched any of it was because it wsa prominently on Canadian tv
at the time. Tarzan, oops Ron Ely, even put in an appearance in a first
season episode.

Michael

[Bill Steele]

On 2/14/16 8:57 AM, Adam H. Kerman wrote:
> The trivia at IMDb sez that Joe Lara played Tarzan in the 1989 made-for-tv
> movie Tarzan in Manhattan (which I don't recall).

What I recall, vaguely, was a guy who grew up somehow with exceptional
abilities to operate in the urban environment, climbing buildings and
bonking bad guys. No actual jungle involved, just a metaphorical one.

[Bill Steele]

On 2/14/16 10:13 AM, Rhino wrote:
>
> Overall, Tarzan seems like an idea with potential but one that is
> usually poorly realized.

Because, as usual, filmmakers bought the rights to a story because it
was immensely successful. then threw out a lot of what made it a success.

Sometimes they genuinely create something new.. The "noble savage"
concept of the Weissmuller movies was tremendously popular. The
"invisible man" version of The Shadow on radio, likewise -- and the
perfect choice for a medium where you couldn't see anything anyway. The
downside is that vast audiences have been deprived of enjoying the
original authors' creativity.

For truth in advertising, the credits for most of these things should
say "suggested by..."


The only Tarzan movie that was ever faithful to Burroughs was the silent
with Elmo Lincoln.

[Michael Black]

That cliche about growing up in the urban jungle?

Michael

[anim8rfsk]

In article <go2dnVqPar9jrV_L...@earthlink.com>,

No. It's Tarzan from Africa, and it's his 'visit to New York'
adventure, same as the 1942 Tarzan's New York Adventure. He meets Jane
there, and decides to stay at the end and ... nothing more of this
version was ever heard again.

[Dimensional Traveler]

On 2/15/2016 2:48 PM, anim8rfsk wrote:
> In article <go2dnVqPar9jrV_L...@earthlink.com>,
> Bill Steele <ws...@cornel.edu> wrote:
>
>> On 2/14/16 8:57 AM, Adam H. Kerman wrote:
>>> The trivia at IMDb sez that Joe Lara played Tarzan in the 1989 made-for-tv
>>> movie Tarzan in Manhattan (which I don't recall).
>>
>> What I recall, vaguely, was a guy who grew up somehow with exceptional
>> abilities to operate in the urban environment, climbing buildings and
>> bonking bad guys. No actual jungle involved, just a metaphorical one.
>
> No. It's Tarzan from Africa, and it's his 'visit to New York'
> adventure, same as the 1942 Tarzan's New York Adventure. He meets Jane
> there, and decides to stay at the end and ... nothing more of this
> version was ever heard again.
>

Not a lot of vines in NYC to swing from while yodeling.

--
Now the Force-Ghost of DTravel since he was forced by shame to commit
hara-kiri with a dull light-spork after liking the Abrams/Bad Robot Star
Wars movie.

[A Friend]

In article <go2dnVqPar9jrV_L...@earthlink.com>, Bill
Steele <ws...@cornel.edu> wrote:

As I recall, Tarzan was from the jungle, but he was highly educated and
very articulate. For some reason, he had to go to New York. I think
Jane was a cab driver he met. The movie was fun, and I remember being
struck by how cute Jane was. I looked for (and found) pictures, and
Jane was cute, all right, but sitting here well into the 21st century,
I wasn't overwhelmed. Sorry, Jane; I guess it's over.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <150220161824378397%no...@noway.com>,

A Friend <no...@noway.com> wrote:

> In article <go2dnVqPar9jrV_L...@earthlink.com>, Bill
> Steele <ws...@cornel.edu> wrote:
>
> > On 2/14/16 8:57 AM, Adam H. Kerman wrote:
> > > The trivia at IMDb sez that Joe Lara played Tarzan in the 1989 made-for-tv
> > > movie Tarzan in Manhattan (which I don't recall).
> >
> > What I recall, vaguely, was a guy who grew up somehow with exceptional
> > abilities to operate in the urban environment, climbing buildings and
> > bonking bad guys. No actual jungle involved, just a metaphorical one.
>
>
> As I recall, Tarzan was from the jungle, but he was highly educated and
> very articulate. For some reason, he had to go to New York. I think
> Jane was a cab driver he met.

That's exactly right. He was seeking bloody vengeance on the white
hunters that killed his ape mother and kidnapped (?) Cheetah. Wackiness
ensued.

The movie was fun, and I remember being
> struck by how cute Jane was. I looked for (and found) pictures, and
> Jane was cute, all right, but sitting here well into the 21st century,
> I wasn't overwhelmed. Sorry, Jane; I guess it's over.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <anim8rfsk-72276...@news.easynews.com>,

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:

> In article <150220161824378397%no...@noway.com>,
> A Friend <no...@noway.com> wrote:
>
> > In article <go2dnVqPar9jrV_L...@earthlink.com>, Bill
> > Steele <ws...@cornel.edu> wrote:
> >
> > > On 2/14/16 8:57 AM, Adam H. Kerman wrote:
> > > > The trivia at IMDb sez that Joe Lara played Tarzan in the 1989
> > > > made-for-tv
> > > > movie Tarzan in Manhattan (which I don't recall).
> > >
> > > What I recall, vaguely, was a guy who grew up somehow with exceptional
> > > abilities to operate in the urban environment, climbing buildings and
> > > bonking bad guys. No actual jungle involved, just a metaphorical one.
> >
> >
> > As I recall, Tarzan was from the jungle, but he was highly educated and
> > very articulate. For some reason, he had to go to New York. I think
> > Jane was a cab driver he met.
>
> That's exactly right. He was seeking bloody vengeance on the white
> hunters that killed his ape mother and kidnapped (?) Cheetah. Wackiness
> ensued.

With ROTH as Jane's father and STRINGFELLOW HAWKE as the villain.

[Michael Black]

On Mon, 15 Feb 2016, Dimensional Traveler wrote:

> On 2/15/2016 2:48 PM, anim8rfsk wrote:
>> In article <go2dnVqPar9jrV_L...@earthlink.com>,
>> Bill Steele <ws...@cornel.edu> wrote:
>>
>>> On 2/14/16 8:57 AM, Adam H. Kerman wrote:
>>>> The trivia at IMDb sez that Joe Lara played Tarzan in the 1989
>>>> made-for-tv
>>>> movie Tarzan in Manhattan (which I don't recall).
>>>
>>> What I recall, vaguely, was a guy who grew up somehow with exceptional
>>> abilities to operate in the urban environment, climbing buildings and
>>> bonking bad guys. No actual jungle involved, just a metaphorical one.
>>
>> No. It's Tarzan from Africa, and it's his 'visit to New York'
>> adventure, same as the 1942 Tarzan's New York Adventure. He meets Jane
>> there, and decides to stay at the end and ... nothing more of this
>> version was ever heard again.
>>
> Not a lot of vines in NYC to swing from while yodeling.
>

SPiderman seems to do okay.

Michael

[anim8rfsk]

In article <alpine.LNX.2.02.1...@darkstar.example.org>,

Stan Lee said he's swinging from passing blimps.

[tenworld]

On Sunday, February 14, 2016 at 11:49:45 AM UTC-5, anim8rfsk wrote:
>
> Greystoke was awful. It's one of those movies, like Coppolas's Bram
> Stoker's Dracula, where they put out a press kit saying it was all
> faithful, and the critics bought into it, even though it was hooey. The
> Bo Derek Tarzan is closer to the source material than Greystoke is.
> >
> > Overall, Tarzan seems like an idea with potential but one that is
> > usually poorly realized.
>
> Yeah. I've seen a lot of them, and enjoyed a lot of them, but they're
> never really quite *right*

I think Crocodile Dundee is closer to the original 2 books then any movie with
'Tarzan' in the title. I read the first book while I was at a camp in northern
Wisconsin which always amazed me since the second starts with Tarzan leaving
Jane in Norther WI to go back to the jungle.

Books 5-10 are actually very good stories that should have been used for movies;
after that they got formulaic.

[Dimensional Traveler]

LOL

[Dimensional Traveler]

You know, right after I posted that and exited my news reader I realized
something. Stan Lee just told us that Spider-Man lives on the Fringe
alternate Earth. :D

[anim8rfsk]

In article <n9ue91$spf$1...@dont-email.me>,

hee hee

Stan was speaking specifically of that original cartoon show, but, yeah,
good one!

[Michael Black]

That's interesting, since I was thinking of that original cartoon show
when I posted.

There were all those shots where Spiderman was swinging down the center of
a road, when there was nothing overhead to shoot the web at.

Michael

[anim8rfsk]

Yep, that's exactly what Stan was talking about. :)

[Adam H. Kerman]

Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>Ron Ely showed up in one episode as a villain.

I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
during 1966-1968. Was it prime time? It comes off like a kid's show.

It's airing on H&I right now, if you get that subchannel.

I watched two first-season episodes. In one, "Captain Jai" Tarzan's
just in the beginning and end; the little orphan boy Jai he takes care
of is featured. There's sort of Victor French as a pirate going after
treasure. In the second "Pride of Assasins", he's sent on a mission by
a government spook to rescue a blonde and prevent her and her partner
from completing an arms deal and fomenting revolution. Of course, the
government knows about the shipment and it doesn't make a lot of sense
that the blonde must be rescued, but she has to make a moral choice. From
the set up, there had been a series of episodes in which Tarzan was sent
on quasi-spy missions, gah. Her partner has sent two assasins after Tarzan
and her.

The fight choreography was minimal. Tarzan does little more than basic
judo moves against older men who really can't fight. There was probably
more stuntwork in other episodes. Ely did it all as they hadn't hired a
stuntman with his body type. He said he got really banged up and didn't
really kow what he was doing.

They kept Cheetah and as anim noted, dumped Jane.

Ron Ely is very tall, over 6'4", and speaks English like an educated
American. I guess the series was set in the contemporary period.

Ely has a deep voice and speaks like a Hollywood hero. The writing is
like some '30s two-reel adventure flick, although not episodic.

Ely, at least, is athletic but didn't bulk himself up absurdly as
Wolf Larson would. I saw no attempt to swing from ropes and never heard
the Tarzan call. He does have the ability to tame already tame large
cats who didn't appear threatening in the first place.

I might catch a couple more but I'm not going to try to watch all of them.
It's just sort of lame.

anim, it wasn't filmed in Africa, but in Brazil, and later in Mexico. Here's a
telephone interview with Ely:
http://herocomplex.latimes.com/movies/tarzan-memories-ron-ely-says-it-was-a-jungle-out-there/

[Adam H. Kerman]

Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>anim, it wasn't filmed in Africa, but in Brazil, and later in Mexico.

Er, never mind. You were speaking of a later Tarzan television series,
not the Ron Ely series.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nb2k04$4v4$2...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> >Ron Ely showed up in one episode as a villain.
>
> I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
> been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
> during 1966-1968. Was it prime time? It comes off like a kid's show.

It led off the prime time shows on Friday night on NBC, right before The
Man from U.N.C.L.E. in it's first season, and then something called Star
Trek.

>
> It's airing on H&I right now, if you get that subchannel.

I have 18 instances of TARZAN on the DVR guide, on a channel called
EXITOS, all described as "Tarzan enfrenta la selva metropolitana cuando
regresa a Nueva York" Starring Travis Fimmel, Mitch Pileggi, Sarah Wayne
Callies (NOOOO!), Johnny Messner, Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Lucy Lawless.

>
> I watched two first-season episodes. In one, "Captain Jai" Tarzan's
> just in the beginning and end; the little orphan boy Jai he takes care

I hated that kid. I hated him in the Mike Henry Tarzan movies that came
before this too.

> of is featured. There's sort of Victor French as a pirate going after
> treasure. In the second "Pride of Assasins", he's sent on a mission by
> a government spook to rescue a blonde and prevent her and her partner
> from completing an arms deal and fomenting revolution. Of course, the
> government knows about the shipment and it doesn't make a lot of sense
> that the blonde must be rescued, but she has to make a moral choice. From
> the set up, there had been a series of episodes in which Tarzan was sent
> on quasi-spy missions, gah. Her partner has sent two assasins after Tarzan
> and her.
>
> The fight choreography was minimal. Tarzan does little more than basic
> judo moves against older men who really can't fight. There was probably
> more stuntwork in other episodes. Ely did it all as they hadn't hired a
> stuntman with his body type. He said he got really banged up and didn't
> really kow what he was doing.

The injuries he detailed to me were mind boggling. They'd take him out
and do surgery on him and he'd be back on the set the next day being
filmed from the opposite side to hide the bandages, 'cause, you know,
mostly naked.

>
> They kept Cheetah and as anim noted, dumped Jane.
>
> Ron Ely is very tall, over 6'4", and speaks English like an educated
> American. I guess the series was set in the contemporary period.

He's scary tall (he says 6'4", his son is like 6'7"). He ducked going
through the main entrance to the hotel, probably force of habit.

>
> Ely has a deep voice and speaks like a Hollywood hero. The writing is
> like some '30s two-reel adventure flick, although not episodic.
>
> Ely, at least, is athletic but didn't bulk himself up absurdly as
> Wolf Larson would. I saw no attempt to swing from ropes and never heard
> the Tarzan call. He does have the ability to tame already tame large
> cats who didn't appear threatening in the first place.

Um ... wtf? He swings from vines in the series open, and every episode
STARTS with him on a waterfall giving the Tarzan yell. Are they showing
the opening credits, and did you catch them from the beginning?

(BTW, the movies and TV always get the cry wrong. In the book, he does
that to announce that he's just killed something. On the screen, it
becomes sort of all purpose.)

He had a great story about the one where he fights a tiger (yes, I know,
and he knows). Somebody had a tiger so they wrote a script where he
faces off the tiger and the tiger decides he's not worth eating and then
they just tossed him in front of the camera with the tiger and ...
apparently the tiger had read the script.

>
> I might catch a couple more but I'm not going to try to watch all of them.
> It's just sort of lame.
>
> anim, it wasn't filmed in Africa, but in Brazil, and later in Mexico. Here's
> a
> telephone interview with Ely:
> http://herocomplex.latimes.com/movies/tarzan-memories-ron-ely-says-it-was-a-ju
> ngle-out-there/

We're crossing series. I was referring to "Tarzan: The Epic Adventures"
as being filmed in South Africa. I asked Mr. Ely questions about Tarzan
in person a couple months ago. :) He's a hoot and a half! Great guy.
He didn't have any stories about Pamela Hensley though. Well, maybe
that one ...

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nb2k4h$9i5$1...@news.albasani.net>,

:)

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>>Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>>Ron Ely showed up in one episode as a villain.

>>I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
>>been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
>>during 1966-1968. Was it prime time? It comes off like a kid's show.

>It led off the prime time shows on Friday night on NBC, right before The
>Man from U.N.C.L.E. in it's first season, and then something called Star
>Trek.

I was too young.

>>It's airing on H&I right now, if you get that subchannel.

>I have 18 instances of TARZAN on the DVR guide, on a channel called
>EXITOS, all described as "Tarzan enfrenta la selva metropolitana cuando
>regresa a Nueva York" Starring Travis Fimmel, Mitch Pileggi, Sarah Wayne
>Callies (NOOOO!), Johnny Messner, Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Lucy Lawless.

One of the worst tv series ever, and I'm calling you out for accepting
Fimmel's acting while objecting to Callies'.

>>I watched two first-season episodes. In one, "Captain Jai" Tarzan's
>>just in the beginning and end; the little orphan boy Jai he takes care

>I hated that kid. I hated him in the Mike Henry Tarzan movies that came
>before this too.

Yeah, they made him too cute.

>>of is featured. There's sort of Victor French as a pirate going after
>>treasure. In the second "Pride of Assasins", he's sent on a mission by
>>a government spook to rescue a blonde and prevent her and her partner
>>from completing an arms deal and fomenting revolution. Of course, the
>>government knows about the shipment and it doesn't make a lot of sense
>>that the blonde must be rescued, but she has to make a moral choice. From
>>the set up, there had been a series of episodes in which Tarzan was sent
>>on quasi-spy missions, gah. Her partner has sent two assasins after Tarzan
>>and her.

>>The fight choreography was minimal. Tarzan does little more than basic
>>judo moves against older men who really can't fight. There was probably
>>more stuntwork in other episodes. Ely did it all as they hadn't hired a
>>stuntman with his body type. He said he got really banged up and didn't
>>really kow what he was doing.

>The injuries he detailed to me were mind boggling. They'd take him out
>and do surgery on him and he'd be back on the set the next day being
>filmed from the opposite side to hide the bandages, 'cause, you know,
>mostly naked.

Yeah. I guess I have to forgive the Jai episode; he'd probably broken
several bones filming the previous week's episode.

>>They kept Cheetah and as anim noted, dumped Jane.

>>Ron Ely is very tall, over 6'4", and speaks English like an educated
>>American. I guess the series was set in the contemporary period.

>He's scary tall (he says 6'4", his son is like 6'7"). He ducked going
>through the main entrance to the hotel, probably force of habit.

How did you happen to interview him? Did you record it?

>>Ely has a deep voice and speaks like a Hollywood hero. The writing is
>>like some '30s two-reel adventure flick, although not episodic.

>>Ely, at least, is athletic but didn't bulk himself up absurdly as
>>Wolf Larson would. I saw no attempt to swing from ropes and never heard
>>the Tarzan call. He does have the ability to tame already tame large
>>cats who didn't appear threatening in the first place.

>Um ... wtf? He swings from vines in the series open, and every episode
>STARTS with him on a waterfall giving the Tarzan yell. Are they showing
>the opening credits, and did you catch them from the beginning?

I was just going by what was in the story of the two episodes I saw,
ignoring what they showed on the opening credits.

>(BTW, the movies and TV always get the cry wrong. In the book, he does
>that to announce that he's just killed something. On the screen, it
>becomes sort of all purpose.)

I'd forgotten. When Carol Burnett does it, did she just kill Lyle Waggoner?

>He had a great story about the one where he fights a tiger (yes, I know,
>and he knows). Somebody had a tiger so they wrote a script where he
>faces off the tiger and the tiger decides he's not worth eating and then
>they just tossed him in front of the camera with the tiger and ...
>apparently the tiger had read the script.

Oh dear god.

>We're crossing series. I was referring to "Tarzan: The Epic Adventures"
>as being filmed in South Africa. I asked Mr. Ely questions about Tarzan
>in person a couple months ago. :) He's a hoot and a half! Great guy.
>He didn't have any stories about Pamela Hensley though. Well, maybe
>that one ...

Were you on a panel at a convention?

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nb2rtt$4ij$2...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
> >"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
> >>Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> >>>Ron Ely showed up in one episode as a villain.
>
> >>I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
> >>been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
> >>during 1966-1968. Was it prime time? It comes off like a kid's show.
>
> >It led off the prime time shows on Friday night on NBC, right before The
> >Man from U.N.C.L.E. in it's first season, and then something called Star
> >Trek.
>
> I was too young.
>
> >>It's airing on H&I right now, if you get that subchannel.
>
> >I have 18 instances of TARZAN on the DVR guide, on a channel called
> >EXITOS, all described as "Tarzan enfrenta la selva metropolitana cuando
> >regresa a Nueva York" Starring Travis Fimmel, Mitch Pileggi, Sarah Wayne
> >Callies (NOOOO!), Johnny Messner, Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Lucy Lawless.
>
> One of the worst tv series ever, and I'm calling you out for accepting
> Fimmel's acting while objecting to Callies'.
>
> >>I watched two first-season episodes. In one, "Captain Jai" Tarzan's
> >>just in the beginning and end; the little orphan boy Jai he takes care
>
> >I hated that kid. I hated him in the Mike Henry Tarzan movies that came
> >before this too.
>
> Yeah, they made him too cute.

At least it made sense to have a hispanic kid in the Henry films, which
were set in South America. Couldn't we have had a black kid in, you
know, Africa?

>
> >>of is featured. There's sort of Victor French as a pirate going after
> >>treasure. In the second "Pride of Assasins", he's sent on a mission by
> >>a government spook to rescue a blonde and prevent her and her partner
> >>from completing an arms deal and fomenting revolution. Of course, the
> >>government knows about the shipment and it doesn't make a lot of sense
> >>that the blonde must be rescued, but she has to make a moral choice. From
> >>the set up, there had been a series of episodes in which Tarzan was sent
> >>on quasi-spy missions, gah. Her partner has sent two assasins after Tarzan
> >>and her.
>
> >>The fight choreography was minimal. Tarzan does little more than basic
> >>judo moves against older men who really can't fight. There was probably
> >>more stuntwork in other episodes. Ely did it all as they hadn't hired a
> >>stuntman with his body type. He said he got really banged up and didn't
> >>really kow what he was doing.
>
> >The injuries he detailed to me were mind boggling. They'd take him out
> >and do surgery on him and he'd be back on the set the next day being
> >filmed from the opposite side to hide the bandages, 'cause, you know,
> >mostly naked.
>
> Yeah. I guess I have to forgive the Jai episode; he'd probably broken
> several bones filming the previous week's episode.

Easily possible.

>
> >>They kept Cheetah and as anim noted, dumped Jane.
>
> >>Ron Ely is very tall, over 6'4", and speaks English like an educated
> >>American. I guess the series was set in the contemporary period.
>
> >He's scary tall (he says 6'4", his son is like 6'7"). He ducked going
> >through the main entrance to the hotel, probably force of habit.
>
> How did you happen to interview him? Did you record it?

I'm the documentarian for the Doc Savage convention. He asked that the
video not be shown, alas, because he's been burned before by editing,
and, watching him work, you can easily see why. The man has a wicked
and wonderful sense of humor. He'll say something that people will
think is nasty, and do a full 10 count before breaking into his room
lighting smile, and, man, if you cut before he does that, he'd look like
the biggest jerk in the world, but if you seen the whole thing, the room
just loves him.

For instance, he was in an afternoon autograph session. He was signing
something for a nice lady. He's still sharp as a tack; he remembered
her having something else signed hours earlier in the morning, and that
she wanted that signed to her and her husband, and the husband's name.
Now the husband has the most annoying name you've ever seen - it's
pronounced David but has no vowels and a bunch of Fs in it. So he asks
her if she just wants it to her, or to her and her husband. She says
this one's just for her. He gets this great growl and glower going and
gravelly mutters "thank god I was hoping I'd never seen that horrible
miserable name again in my entire life" and we all sort of turned toward
them thinking 'what the Hell?' (Ely has the ability to, like Doc Savage
himself, mutter softly and yet have his voice carry a loooong way) and
he holds for the full 10 count and then smiles like dawn breaking. She
starts laughing so hard she almost fell over. Dafffydddyffd, who is
like 20 feet away, does the same thing, and then we all are. But if you
cut that before the smile? He'd look like he was being just *horrid* to
the nice lady in the autograph line.

A lot of his talks are like that too. An anecdote about Buddy Hackett
might start with 'that lousy so and so' but by the end of it you find
out that they were BFFs for years.

In total it's just all wonderful material. But in sound byte form? Not
so much.

He got several great shots in at me. After he'd described these
horrific injuries, I asked how, in a show where the leading man in in
every scene, and, frankly, mostly naked, you possible HID this stuff.
He starts an answer and turns away and then slowly turns back and
looking at me under his eyebrows says "how Freudian of you" and for the
rest of the talk, just in the middle of a completely unrelated thought,
he'd do the turn to me again and mutter "mostly naked" and turn back and
finish what he was saying. It was absolutely hysterical.

Oh, and he's nothing like that offstage at all. He's just humble and
lovable.

>
> >>Ely has a deep voice and speaks like a Hollywood hero. The writing is
> >>like some '30s two-reel adventure flick, although not episodic.
>
> >>Ely, at least, is athletic but didn't bulk himself up absurdly as
> >>Wolf Larson would. I saw no attempt to swing from ropes and never heard
> >>the Tarzan call. He does have the ability to tame already tame large
> >>cats who didn't appear threatening in the first place.
>
> >Um ... wtf? He swings from vines in the series open, and every episode
> >STARTS with him on a waterfall giving the Tarzan yell. Are they showing
> >the opening credits, and did you catch them from the beginning?
>
> I was just going by what was in the story of the two episodes I saw,
> ignoring what they showed on the opening credits.

Ah.

>
> >(BTW, the movies and TV always get the cry wrong. In the book, he does
> >that to announce that he's just killed something. On the screen, it
> >becomes sort of all purpose.)
>
> I'd forgotten. When Carol Burnett does it, did she just kill Lyle Waggoner?

Hee hee

>
> >He had a great story about the one where he fights a tiger (yes, I know,
> >and he knows). Somebody had a tiger so they wrote a script where he
> >faces off the tiger and the tiger decides he's not worth eating and then
> >they just tossed him in front of the camera with the tiger and ...
> >apparently the tiger had read the script.
>
> Oh dear god.

Yeah

>
> >We're crossing series. I was referring to "Tarzan: The Epic Adventures"
> >as being filmed in South Africa. I asked Mr. Ely questions about Tarzan
> >in person a couple months ago. :) He's a hoot and a half! Great guy.
> >He didn't have any stories about Pamela Hensley though. Well, maybe
> >that one ...
>
> Were you on a panel at a convention?

No, I was sitting right in front of him with the camera. :D

And his story about Pamela is what I said above. He'll say he has NO
stories about her, and then mutter "well, maybe just that one" ...

But if there is one, we never got it out of him!

[A Friend]

In article <nb2k04$4v4$2...@news.albasani.net>, Adam H. Kerman

<a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> >Ron Ely showed up in one episode as a villain.
>
> I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
> been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
> during 1966-1968. Was it prime time?

Yes.

> It comes off like a kid's show.

Yes.

> Ron Ely is very tall, over 6'4", and speaks English like an educated
> American. I guess the series was set in the contemporary period.

Yes.

> anim, it wasn't filmed in Africa, but in Brazil, and later in Mexico.

The series was set in Mexico. They wanted to avoid any controversy
about Africa or (not) using African actors. Inevitably, the series was
criticized for not using Africa, sometimes by the same people who
likely would have criticized it for using Africa.

For similar reasons, the animated series PHANTOM 2040 was set in a
jungle on Staten Island, New York.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <290220162223202709%no...@noway.com>,

I .... don't see how the Ely TARZAN could be set in Mexico. I mean,
there are elephants and Great Apes ...

[anim8rfsk]

In article <anim8rfsk-252F2...@news.easynews.com>,

https://youtu.be/PDL9pnpXXOU

there's the opening of the pilot, chock full of vine swinging and cry
yelling.

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:

>I'm the documentarian for the Doc Savage convention.

Thanks for the story.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nb377p$l96$5...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

Thanks for the listen!

[A Friend]

In article <anim8rfsk-252F2...@news.easynews.com>,
anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:

You know, I probably conflated this series with the film Tarzan and the
Valley of Gold, released in 1966. I'm sorry.

But I'm right about Staten Island!

[anim8rfsk]

In article <010320160408333539%no...@noway.com>,

Ah, yeah, that one's set in Mexico (the next one's in Brazil and the one
after in Africa even though they were both filmed in Brazil)

>
> But I'm right about Staten Island!

heh

[Ubiquitous]

In article <nb2k04$4v4$2...@news.albasani.net>, a...@chinet.com wrote:

>I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
>been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
>during 1966-1968. Was it prime time? It comes off like a kid's show.

I have a vague recollection of it being on before the 7 AM showing of Batman
on Saturdays and it having the obligatory Afrikan tribemen and stock footage
of jungle beasts.

--
If you think the Oscars are too white, you're not going to be happy
with the choice of Democrat candidates either.

[Ubiquitous]

anim...@cox.net wrote:

>We're crossing series. I was referring to "Tarzan: The Epic Adventures"
>as being filmed in South Africa. I asked Mr. Ely questions about Tarzan
>in person a couple months ago. :) He's a hoot and a half! Great guy.
>He didn't have any stories about Pamela Hensley though. Well, maybe
>that one ...

He's still alive?

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nb7dpl$1bq$3...@dont-email.me>,

Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

> anim...@cox.net wrote:
>
> >We're crossing series. I was referring to "Tarzan: The Epic Adventures"
> >as being filmed in South Africa. I asked Mr. Ely questions about Tarzan
> >in person a couple months ago. :) He's a hoot and a half! Great guy.
> >He didn't have any stories about Pamela Hensley though. Well, maybe
> >that one ...
>
> He's still alive?

Si

[Adam H. Kerman]

Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
>been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
>during 1966-1968. Was it prime time? It comes off like a kid's show.

>It's airing on H&I right now, if you get that subchannel. . . .

I gave it another chance, another first season episode "Tarzan and the
Mask of Rona", pure 1960s bullshit philosophy as spewed by television
writers, which makes me nostalgic. It's yet another episode in which
the authorities send Tarzan on a mission related to gun running. There's
a potentially rebellious African tribe that may or may not be interested
in buying guns, but there's a gun runner/art dealer who is very interested
in selling to them. The tribe can pay with a collection of primitive
artwork, mostly masks, created by Rona. He wants to monopolize his ownership
of her works, even if he has to murder the artist!

Very blonde white lady is superior at creating African art than the
natives are... ok.

She's nearsighted or has rapid onset macular degeneration, but in addition
to creating masks, has painted the tribe's legends and allegorical stories
on the wall of a cave. She's desperate to finish before she goes completely
blind.

Tarzan, a one-man CSI, wanders around the forest until he finds clay
soils and plants that are the basis for the pigments she uses, which
leads him to the cave.

Tarzan is marked for death by multiple parties!

There's a greedy sister and this one's rather melodramatic, but Ron Ely
gets to do some acting and he'd actually pretty good.

One comment: I assumed Tarzan is supposed to be barefoot nearly all the
time. This series does shoot Ron Ely's feet; he is barefoot, even in
scenes in which he's running on ground that's probably full of small rocks.
In the 1991-1994 series, they tried to avoid shooting Wolf Larson's feet,
but when they do, he's wearing mocassins, probably with a thick leather sole.

The Ely series was trying for some "authenticity", but gah, no wonder
he was so frequently injured.

It's hysterical: The actresses playing the sisters are average height or
just below averge, but standing next to Ron Ely, they're dwarves.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nbpsp6$6ld$3...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> >I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
> >been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
> >during 1966-1968. Was it prime time? It comes off like a kid's show.
>
> >It's airing on H&I right now, if you get that subchannel. . . .
>
> I gave it another chance, another first season episode "Tarzan and the
> Mask of Rona", pure 1960s bullshit philosophy as spewed by television
> writers, which makes me nostalgic. It's yet another episode in which
> the authorities send Tarzan on a mission related to gun running. There's
> a potentially rebellious African tribe that may or may not be interested
> in buying guns, but there's a gun runner/art dealer who is very interested
> in selling to them. The tribe can pay with a collection of primitive
> artwork, mostly masks, created by Rona. He wants to monopolize his ownership
> of her works, even if he has to murder the artist!

Yeah, this is ... odd.
Line of the episode, from the miniature villain, while looking at
primitive cave paintings that just look like a third grader's attempt at
realism:
"Magnificent! She's reduced natural objects to their basic form,
representing volume and modeling by color alone!"
Huh? It's just bad paintings of trees and crap.

>
> Very blonde white lady is superior at creating African art than the
> natives are... ok.

"Genius is mysterious"

Miniature bad guy: "They are wonderful. It's almost as though there
was a primitive native streak within herself. She has an inherent touch
of Cézanne. She has a way of creating flat spatial effects with ...
look, look here, you see it? The receding colored planes with flat
perspective ..."

Um, yeah, right.

>
> She's nearsighted or has rapid onset macular degeneration, but in addition
> to creating masks, has painted the tribe's legends and allegorical stories
> on the wall of a cave. She's desperate to finish before she goes completely
> blind.

I have no idea how she's even fending for herself, much less painting.

>
> Tarzan, a one-man CSI, wanders around the forest until he finds clay
> soils and plants that are the basis for the pigments she uses, which
> leads him to the cave.

At least he actually took samples everywhere to compare and didn't just
use his Great Ape Memory Powers.

>
> Tarzan is marked for death by multiple parties!

Why does the blind artist come down to the deep caves in total darkness
to gather ochre pigment? I mean, how would she *know*?

>
> There's a greedy sister and this one's rather melodramatic, but Ron Ely

Leslie Parrish, impregnated by Apollo on STAR TREK!

> gets to do some acting and he'd actually pretty good.

Yes.

The bodyguard is famed stuntman/actor Jock Mahoney, who played Tarzan
himself a couple years before in the films shot in India and Thailand,
in the last of the four episodes of this series he appeared in. Its
funny, in his own Tarzan films he didn't look that big, but here he's
the same size as Ely!

Tarzan tows both women underwater by having them hold on to his
loincloth. That thing must be staple gunned to him!

> One comment: I assumed Tarzan is supposed to be barefoot nearly all the
> time. This series does shoot Ron Ely's feet; he is barefoot, even in
> scenes in which he's running on ground that's probably full of small rocks.
> In the 1991-1994 series, they tried to avoid shooting Wolf Larson's feet,
> but when they do, he's wearing mocassins, probably with a thick leather sole.

IIRC the Legendary show shot in South Africa had him wearing boots; you
got used to it pretty quickly.

>
> The Ely series was trying for some "authenticity", but gah, no wonder
> he was so frequently injured.

There's a weird bit at the beginning of this ep where for reasons
unclear somebody shoots him with a paralytic dart, not trying to kill
him but just slow him down, before he's got anything to do. I have a
feeling they were actually trying to cover up for a real life injury.

>
> It's hysterical: The actresses playing the sisters are average height or
> just below averge, but standing next to Ron Ely, they're dwarves.

And they themselves dwarf the bad guy! Who's supposed to be filthy rich
because he has $30m ...

One of the best things in this ep is the almost total lack of Jai the
Jungle Boy. He does his gratuitous annoying bit at the start and is
left behind (I don't think Cheetah's in this one at all). I looked to
see whatever happened to him. He never grew to be more than 5'3" and
died 'unexpectedly' at age 52.

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>I gave it another chance, another first season episode "Tarzan and the
>>Mask of Rona", pure 1960s bullshit philosophy as spewed by television

>>writers, which makes me nostalgic. . . .

>>[Rona is] nearsighted or has rapid onset macular degeneration, but

>>in addition to creating masks, has painted the tribe's legends and
>>allegorical stories on the wall of a cave. She's desperate to finish
>>before she goes completely blind.

>I have no idea how she's even fending for herself, much less painting.

To wank this, the tribe must be feeding her in exchange for good art.
Also, she must live in a hut with the tribe. There's no other explanation.

Her hair looked amazingly clean and reasonably cared for given a woman going
blind without mirrors and her face and clothes looked like she'd
been living in a modern hotel room, but that's how women always look
on tv.

>>Tarzan, a one-man CSI, wanders around the forest until he finds clay
>>soils and plants that are the basis for the pigments she uses, which

>>leads him to the cave. . . .

>At least he actually took samples everywhere to compare and didn't just
>use his Great Ape Memory Powers.

Heh. Tarzan always did seem to be his own Whitey, didn't he.

>Why does the blind artist come down to the deep caves in total darkness
>to gather ochre pigment? I mean, how would she *know*?

She also kept talking about "This is the perfect time of day to paint"
as if it's midday and she's got light from the north. Uh, it's a cave
(which was adequately lit even in the parts in which they were escaping
from the gun runner and it was supposed to be in blackness) and she's
painting by torchlight, and she can barely see anyway.

>>There's a greedy sister and this one's rather melodramatic,

>Leslie Parrish, impregnated by Apollo on STAR TREK!

Oh, yes, I knew who she was. She's best known from The Manchurian Candidate,
given that Raymond murders his own wife, but it's the snakebite scene in
that movie that's memorable. She was on tons of tv and small movie roles
in the '60s. She appears to have retired from shoe biz in the mid '70s
to get married and have a real life, but she's still alive.

>>but Ron Ely gets to do some acting and he'd actually pretty good.

>Yes.

>The bodyguard is famed stuntman/actor Jock Mahoney, who played Tarzan
>himself a couple years before in the films shot in India and Thailand,
>in the last of the four episodes of this series he appeared in. Its
>funny, in his own Tarzan films he didn't look that big, but here he's
>the same size as Ely!

Thanks. He was familiar to me but I didn't know the name.

>Tarzan tows both women underwater by having them hold on to his
>loincloth. That thing must be staple gunned to him!

The next time you see Ely, he's gonna tease you mercilessly about that
"Freudian" comment.

Now, Ely possibly has lung capacity approaching Michael Phelps, but he
was quite winded and exhausted after his swim underwater. He had to swim
back. Now, you'd think he'd have taken the women one at a time, given that
it was now his third swim, and that one of the women could have swum
herself at least part of the way. That swim dragging 300 pounds of
additional weight (plus drag from the clothing) would have been slow and
both women would have drowned even if Tarzan still had the lung capacity.
Tarzan's costume would have absorbed significant water, too; that wasn't
a Speedo. The women didn't strip down to lingerie because better to drown
that violate tv censorship. The swim was ridiculous.

Now, if the women drowned, they could have been revived as it was just
a minute or so later, but how would they have hung on to Tarzan?

>>One comment: I assumed Tarzan is supposed to be barefoot nearly all the
>>time. This series does shoot Ron Ely's feet; he is barefoot, even in
>>scenes in which he's running on ground that's probably full of small rocks.
>>In the 1991-1994 series, they tried to avoid shooting Wolf Larson's feet,
>>but when they do, he's wearing mocassins, probably with a thick leather sole.

>IIRC the Legendary show shot in South Africa had him wearing boots; you
>got used to it pretty quickly.

I haven't seen a Johnny Weissmuller flick in years and can't recall
if he was barefoot; probably not.

>>The Ely series was trying for some "authenticity", but gah, no wonder
>>he was so frequently injured.

>There's a weird bit at the beginning of this ep where for reasons
>unclear somebody shoots him with a paralytic dart, not trying to kill
>him but just slow him down, before he's got anything to do. I have a
>feeling they were actually trying to cover up for a real life injury.

I didn't think of that, but gah, you're probably right. Every bit of
STOOPID in these scripts may be due to Ely being in great pain. The dart
couldn't be curare, which would make you woozy and enough would make you
pass out; I don't know what it was. Shooting a dart at someone from
40 feet away was a damn good shot, especially hitting your target on the
inner left thigh instead of the torso. With lungs like that, the native
should have been the one to do with underwater swim dragging the two women,
not Tarzan.

>>It's hysterical: The actresses playing the sisters are average height or
>>just below averge, but standing next to Ron Ely, they're dwarves.

>And they themselves dwarf the bad guy! Who's supposed to be filthy rich
>because he has $30m ...

>One of the best things in this ep is the almost total lack of Jai the
>Jungle Boy. He does his gratuitous annoying bit at the start and is
>left behind (I don't think Cheetah's in this one at all). I looked to
>see whatever happened to him. He never grew to be more than 5'3" and
>died 'unexpectedly' at age 52.

Yeah, I should have commented about Jai being absent from the main plot.
It did improve the episode greatly.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nbs183$9h6$1...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
> >"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> >>I gave it another chance, another first season episode "Tarzan and the
> >>Mask of Rona", pure 1960s bullshit philosophy as spewed by television
> >>writers, which makes me nostalgic. . . .
>
> >>[Rona is] nearsighted or has rapid onset macular degeneration, but
> >>in addition to creating masks, has painted the tribe's legends and
> >>allegorical stories on the wall of a cave. She's desperate to finish
> >>before she goes completely blind.
>
> >I have no idea how she's even fending for herself, much less painting.
>
> To wank this, the tribe must be feeding her in exchange for good art.
> Also, she must live in a hut with the tribe. There's no other explanation.

I agree, although the narrative certainly doesn't support it.

Hey, what was in the art supply box that Tarzan took away at the end?

>
> Her hair looked amazingly clean and reasonably cared for given a woman going
> blind without mirrors and her face and clothes looked like she'd
> been living in a modern hotel room, but that's how women always look
> on tv.
>
> >>Tarzan, a one-man CSI, wanders around the forest until he finds clay
> >>soils and plants that are the basis for the pigments she uses, which
> >>leads him to the cave. . . .
>
> >At least he actually took samples everywhere to compare and didn't just
> >use his Great Ape Memory Powers.
>
> Heh. Tarzan always did seem to be his own Whitey, didn't he.
>
> >Why does the blind artist come down to the deep caves in total darkness
> >to gather ochre pigment? I mean, how would she *know*?
>
> She also kept talking about "This is the perfect time of day to paint"
> as if it's midday and she's got light from the north. Uh, it's a cave
> (which was adequately lit even in the parts in which they were escaping
> from the gun runner and it was supposed to be in blackness) and she's
> painting by torchlight, and she can barely see anyway.

Yeah, this was 'written' by somebody compiling stuff they'd heard
'artists' say in other TV shows. It's also the kind of nonsense you're
taught in Humanities classes in college.

>
> >>There's a greedy sister and this one's rather melodramatic,
>
> >Leslie Parrish, impregnated by Apollo on STAR TREK!
>
> Oh, yes, I knew who she was. She's best known from The Manchurian Candidate,
> given that Raymond murders his own wife, but it's the snakebite scene in
> that movie that's memorable. She was on tons of tv and small movie roles
> in the '60s. She appears to have retired from shoe biz in the mid '70s
> to get married and have a real life, but she's still alive.
>
> >>but Ron Ely gets to do some acting and he'd actually pretty good.
>
> >Yes.
>
> >The bodyguard is famed stuntman/actor Jock Mahoney, who played Tarzan
> >himself a couple years before in the films shot in India and Thailand,
> >in the last of the four episodes of this series he appeared in. Its
> >funny, in his own Tarzan films he didn't look that big, but here he's
> >the same size as Ely!
>
> Thanks. He was familiar to me but I didn't know the name.
>
> >Tarzan tows both women underwater by having them hold on to his
> >loincloth. That thing must be staple gunned to him!
>
> The next time you see Ely, he's gonna tease you mercilessly about that
> "Freudian" comment.

:)

>
> Now, Ely possibly has lung capacity approaching Michael Phelps, but he
> was quite winded and exhausted after his swim underwater. He had to swim
> back. Now, you'd think he'd have taken the women one at a time, given that
> it was now his third swim, and that one of the women could have swum
> herself at least part of the way. That swim dragging 300 pounds of
> additional weight (plus drag from the clothing) would have been slow and
> both women would have drowned even if Tarzan still had the lung capacity.
> Tarzan's costume would have absorbed significant water, too; that wasn't
> a Speedo.

It's leather; does leather absorb water?

The women didn't strip down to lingerie because better to drown
> that violate tv censorship. The swim was ridiculous.
>
> Now, if the women drowned, they could have been revived as it was just
> a minute or so later, but how would they have hung on to Tarzan?

"one at a time" was my first thought too, but what do you do with the
blind woman, leave her behind? The audience would object to that, but
you can't take her first and leave her in an unfamiliar environment with
the bad guys nearby either.

>
> >>One comment: I assumed Tarzan is supposed to be barefoot nearly all the
> >>time. This series does shoot Ron Ely's feet; he is barefoot, even in
> >>scenes in which he's running on ground that's probably full of small rocks.
> >>In the 1991-1994 series, they tried to avoid shooting Wolf Larson's feet,
> >>but when they do, he's wearing mocassins, probably with a thick leather
> >>sole.
>
> >IIRC the Legendary show shot in South Africa had him wearing boots; you
> >got used to it pretty quickly.
>
> I haven't seen a Johnny Weissmuller flick in years and can't recall
> if he was barefoot; probably not.

Most google images of Johnny show him (and Jane) barefoot; but I did
find this cheat:
http://www.doctormacro.com/Images/Weissmuller,%20Johnny/Annex/Annex%20-%2
0Weissmuller,%20Johnny%20(Tarzan%20Finds%20a%20Son)_08.jpg

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>>anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>>>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>>>I gave it another chance, another first season episode "Tarzan and the
>>>>Mask of Rona", pure 1960s bullshit philosophy as spewed by television
>>>>writers, which makes me nostalgic. . . .

>>>>[Rona is] nearsighted or has rapid onset macular degeneration, but
>>>>in addition to creating masks, has painted the tribe's legends and
>>>>allegorical stories on the wall of a cave. She's desperate to finish
>>>>before she goes completely blind.

>>>I have no idea how she's even fending for herself, much less painting.

>>To wank this, the tribe must be feeding her in exchange for good art.
>>Also, she must live in a hut with the tribe. There's no other explanation.

>I agree, although the narrative certainly doesn't support it.

>Hey, what was in the art supply box that Tarzan took away at the end?

No clue. Given that he was no longer forcing her to flee, she'll need
her art supplies. That made no sense.

>> >Why does the blind artist come down to the deep caves in total darkness
>> >to gather ochre pigment? I mean, how would she *know*?

>> She also kept talking about "This is the perfect time of day to paint"
>> as if it's midday and she's got light from the north. Uh, it's a cave
>> (which was adequately lit even in the parts in which they were escaping
>> from the gun runner and it was supposed to be in blackness) and she's
>> painting by torchlight, and she can barely see anyway.

>Yeah, this was 'written' by somebody compiling stuff they'd heard
>'artists' say in other TV shows. It's also the kind of nonsense you're
>taught in Humanities classes in college.

Leslie Parrish kept saying how irritating everything she said was. I hope
the scriptwriter was intentionally making fun of "Bohemian" artists in
Greenwich Village in New York.

>>>Tarzan tows both women underwater by having them hold on to his
>>>loincloth. That thing must be staple gunned to him!

>>The next time you see Ely, he's gonna tease you mercilessly about that
>>"Freudian" comment.

>:)

>>Now, Ely possibly has lung capacity approaching Michael Phelps, but he
>>was quite winded and exhausted after his swim underwater. He had to swim
>>back. Now, you'd think he'd have taken the women one at a time, given that
>>it was now his third swim, and that one of the women could have swum
>>herself at least part of the way. That swim dragging 300 pounds of
>>additional weight (plus drag from the clothing) would have been slow and
>>both women would have drowned even if Tarzan still had the lung capacity.
>>Tarzan's costume would have absorbed significant water, too; that wasn't
>>a Speedo.

>It's leather; does leather absorb water?

Isn't it still animal fur? I was thinking the fur would absorb water.

Leather is heavy enough to begin with; really, it's the only practical
thing about Tarzan's costume. I hardly think you'd want to swim in it.

>>The women didn't strip down to lingerie because better to drown that
>>violate tv censorship. The swim was ridiculous.

>>Now, if the women drowned, they could have been revived as it was just
>>a minute or so later, but how would they have hung on to Tarzan?

>"one at a time" was my first thought too, but what do you do with the
>blind woman, leave her behind? The audience would object to that, but
>you can't take her first and leave her in an unfamiliar environment with
>the bad guys nearby either.

Yeah, I know, but making the third underwater swim when Tarzan should
have been dead tired so much more difficult meant Tarzan was taking a
chance that all three would drown.

But tv, I know.

>>>>One comment: I assumed Tarzan is supposed to be barefoot nearly all the
>>>>time. This series does shoot Ron Ely's feet; he is barefoot, even in
>>>>scenes in which he's running on ground that's probably full of small rocks.
>>>>In the 1991-1994 series, they tried to avoid shooting Wolf Larson's feet,
>>>>but when they do, he's wearing mocassins, probably with a thick leather
>>>>sole.

>>>IIRC the Legendary show shot in South Africa had him wearing boots; you
>>>got used to it pretty quickly.

>>I haven't seen a Johnny Weissmuller flick in years and can't recall
>>if he was barefoot; probably not.

>Most google images of Johnny show him (and Jane) barefoot; but I did
>find this cheat:
>http://www.doctormacro.com/Images/Weissmuller,%20Johnny/Annex/Annex%20-%20Weissmuller,%20Johnny%20(Tarzan%20Finds%20a%20Son)_08.jpg

Good find!

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim, if you're watching these, maybe I'll watch a few more. The Wolf
Larson series would have been a lot more snarkable, but my Spanish isn't
good enough. That one seems to use more trained animals (in addition
to Cheetah). I guess I'm a little curious if the original language
for the Larson series was French. The supporting actors seem to be
French, and Larson is Canadian and possibly spoke French. I'd guess it
was dubbed during production into Spanish (possibly Portuguese too) to be
sold to Mexican and South American tv. I'm wondering if the English
was dubbed.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nbs6em$fuu$4...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> anim, if you're watching these, maybe I'll watch a few more.

I was about 1/3 of the way into the first season. I skipped ahead for
this one. :)

The Wolf
> Larson series would have been a lot more snarkable, but my Spanish isn't
> good enough. That one seems to use more trained animals (in addition
> to Cheetah). I guess I'm a little curious if the original language
> for the Larson series was French. The supporting actors seem to be
> French, and Larson is Canadian and possibly spoke French. I'd guess it
> was dubbed during production into Spanish (possibly Portuguese too) to be
> sold to Mexican and South American tv. I'm wondering if the English
> was dubbed.

The Legendary series goes to fabled lands like Opar (mmm, La) and IIRC
the Iron Mole even popped up from Pellucidar once.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nbs5bl$fuu$2...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
> >"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
> >>anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
> >>>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> >>>>I gave it another chance, another first season episode "Tarzan and the
> >>>>Mask of Rona", pure 1960s bullshit philosophy as spewed by television
> >>>>writers, which makes me nostalgic. . . .
>
> >>>>[Rona is] nearsighted or has rapid onset macular degeneration, but
> >>>>in addition to creating masks, has painted the tribe's legends and
> >>>>allegorical stories on the wall of a cave. She's desperate to finish
> >>>>before she goes completely blind.
>
> >>>I have no idea how she's even fending for herself, much less painting.
>
> >>To wank this, the tribe must be feeding her in exchange for good art.
> >>Also, she must live in a hut with the tribe. There's no other explanation.
>
> >I agree, although the narrative certainly doesn't support it.
>
> >Hey, what was in the art supply box that Tarzan took away at the end?
>
> No clue. Given that he was no longer forcing her to flee, she'll need
> her art supplies. That made no sense.

Okay, thanks, I thought I missed something. He took the box, but made
sure to leave her the magnifying glass?

It's animal *hide* - scraping off the fur is optional but it seems
likely.

>
> Leather is heavy enough to begin with; really, it's the only practical
> thing about Tarzan's costume. I hardly think you'd want to swim in it.
>
> >>The women didn't strip down to lingerie because better to drown that
> >>violate tv censorship. The swim was ridiculous.
>
> >>Now, if the women drowned, they could have been revived as it was just
> >>a minute or so later, but how would they have hung on to Tarzan?
>
> >"one at a time" was my first thought too, but what do you do with the
> >blind woman, leave her behind? The audience would object to that, but
> >you can't take her first and leave her in an unfamiliar environment with
> >the bad guys nearby either.
>
> Yeah, I know, but making the third underwater swim when Tarzan should
> have been dead tired so much more difficult meant Tarzan was taking a
> chance that all three would drown.
>
> But tv, I know.

The strength of Tarzan? No man can say!

>
> >>>>One comment: I assumed Tarzan is supposed to be barefoot nearly all the
> >>>>time. This series does shoot Ron Ely's feet; he is barefoot, even in
> >>>>scenes in which he's running on ground that's probably full of small
> >>>>rocks.
> >>>>In the 1991-1994 series, they tried to avoid shooting Wolf Larson's feet,
> >>>>but when they do, he's wearing mocassins, probably with a thick leather
> >>>>sole.
>
> >>>IIRC the Legendary show shot in South Africa had him wearing boots; you
> >>>got used to it pretty quickly.
>
> >>I haven't seen a Johnny Weissmuller flick in years and can't recall
> >>if he was barefoot; probably not.
>
> >Most google images of Johnny show him (and Jane) barefoot; but I did
> >find this cheat:
> >http://www.doctormacro.com/Images/Weissmuller,%20Johnny/Annex/Annex%20-%20Wei
> >ssmuller,%20Johnny%20(Tarzan%20Finds%20a%20Son)_08.jpg
>
> Good find!

:)

[anim8rfsk]

In article <anim8rfsk-AE4D8...@news.easynews.com>,

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:

> In article <nbs6em$fuu$4...@news.albasani.net>,
> "Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> > anim, if you're watching these, maybe I'll watch a few more.
>
> I was about 1/3 of the way into the first season. I skipped ahead for
> this one. :)
>
> The Wolf
> > Larson series would have been a lot more snarkable, but my Spanish isn't
> > good enough. That one seems to use more trained animals (in addition
> > to Cheetah). I guess I'm a little curious if the original language
> > for the Larson series was French. The supporting actors seem to be
> > French, and Larson is Canadian and possibly spoke French. I'd guess it
> > was dubbed during production into Spanish (possibly Portuguese too) to be
> > sold to Mexican and South American tv. I'm wondering if the English
> > was dubbed.
>
> The Legendary series goes to fabled lands like Opar (mmm, La)

EPIC, not Legendary, duh, and:
http://ibdp.huluim.com/video/60080905?size=720x405

> and IIRC the Iron Mole even popped up from Pellucidar once.

https://lowiczanka.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/3344_tarzantheepicadventur
es_w_lg_1552ca70-6f72-4976-93a0-7f08166cce08.jpg
and
http://terrororstralis.com/films/photos/9603.jpg
and
http://terrororstralis.com/films/colour/96.htm

[Ubiquitous]

In article <nbpsp6$6ld$3...@news.albasani.net>, a...@chinet.com wrote:
>Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>I don't recall the Ron Ely Tarzan show at all. You'd think it would have
>>been in second run syndication when I was a kid. It aired on NBC
>>during 1966-1968. Was it prime time? It comes off like a kid's show.
>>
>>It's airing on H&I right now, if you get that subchannel. . . .
>
>I gave it another chance, another first season episode "Tarzan and the
>Mask of Rona", pure 1960s bullshit philosophy as spewed by television
>writers, which makes me nostalgic. It's yet another episode in which
>the authorities send Tarzan on a mission related to gun running. There's
>a potentially rebellious African tribe that may or may not be interested
>in buying guns, but there's a gun runner/art dealer who is very interested
>in selling to them. The tribe can pay with a collection of primitive
>artwork, mostly masks, created by Rona.

Talk about "marketing synergy"! :-D

--
Iran test fired two long range missiles marked "Israel must be wiped
out." Experts say it does not appear to be Obama's handwriting.

[Adam H. Kerman]

Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>>a...@chinet.com wrote:

>>>Does anyone remember the Tarzan series from the early '90s? It was a
>>>French production, with Canadian financing and Mexico used for jungle
>>>locations.

>>Only vaguely. I think Universal Studios made a "Tarzan" ride at one of
>>their theme parks, anticipating it to become a big hit. I seem to recall
>>they cast a bodybuilder type with girlie hair for the part.

>Oh, yeah. His hair is much nicer than Lydie Denier's, who played Jane
>(and from what I could tell, was not his love interest). I never read
>that he had been a bodybuilder although I'm sure he was in good shape.
>He bulked himself up for the role, which just looked wrong. It's absurd
>to have a Tarzan who clearly lifted weights for aesthetic reasons.

Hm. I haven't been watching these, but I did catch "Tarzan and the Poisoned
Waters", listed as the first episode of season 1. Still in Spanish, so I
really didn't catch anything about how they introduced the characters.
Looked like an evil gold miner was washing slag into the river, killing
animals for miles around. The big cat Tarzan took care of sure looked
like a New World big cat (like a cougar) and not African. I'm not sure
how they got the poison out of the cat's system, but he recovered and
walked away at the end of the episode.

I was surprised that Larson, except for the silly hair, looked a bit more
Tarzanish than usual. He was not as bulked up. The other episodes I'd
seen, they clearly had him pump up just before going on camera to make his
biceps and shoulders look veiny. Generally, he had bodybuilder pectorals,
which takes serious lifting to develop over weeks or even months. All
the lifting made his body look wrong for Tarzan, which should look long
and lanky and not bulky at all.

I would still love to know if the cast was speaking French or English
on camera, or if they did takes in both languages. I'm still guessing
that Larson could speak French. The rest of the cast was obviously French,
no way for me to know if they spoke English.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nbv977$avc$1...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> Adam H. Kerman <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
> >Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
> >>a...@chinet.com wrote:
>
> >>>Does anyone remember the Tarzan series from the early '90s? It was a
> >>>French production, with Canadian financing and Mexico used for jungle
> >>>locations.
>
> >>Only vaguely. I think Universal Studios made a "Tarzan" ride at one of
> >>their theme parks, anticipating it to become a big hit. I seem to recall
> >>they cast a bodybuilder type with girlie hair for the part.
>
> >Oh, yeah. His hair is much nicer than Lydie Denier's, who played Jane
> >(and from what I could tell, was not his love interest). I never read
> >that he had been a bodybuilder although I'm sure he was in good shape.
> >He bulked himself up for the role, which just looked wrong. It's absurd
> >to have a Tarzan who clearly lifted weights for aesthetic reasons.
>
> Hm. I haven't been watching these, but I did catch "Tarzan and the Poisoned
> Waters", listed as the first episode of season 1. Still in Spanish, so I
> really didn't catch anything about how they introduced the characters.
> Looked like an evil gold miner was washing slag into the river, killing
> animals for miles around. The big cat Tarzan took care of sure looked
> like a New World big cat (like a cougar) and not African. I'm not sure
> how they got the poison out of the cat's system, but he recovered and
> walked away at the end of the episode.

Hmm. I pulled up S01E01 but it seems to be a different plot. Doesn't
have a ep title on screen. Tarzan and Jane are definitely speaking
English, although they may well have dubbed the dialog in post, but the
lip movements definitely match the English dialog.

Ah, I'm actually watching "Tarzan and the Caves of Darkness" listed most
places as ep 6. This borders on embarrassingly bad. Very much Saturday
morning stuff, after the watchdogs made it boring.

>
> I was surprised that Larson, except for the silly hair, looked a bit more

What *are* they thinking with that idiotic blond hair!?!?

> Tarzanish than usual. He was not as bulked up. The other episodes I'd
> seen, they clearly had him pump up just before going on camera to make his
> biceps and shoulders look veiny. Generally, he had bodybuilder pectorals,
> which takes serious lifting to develop over weeks or even months. All
> the lifting made his body look wrong for Tarzan, which should look long
> and lanky and not bulky at all.
>
> I would still love to know if the cast was speaking French or English
> on camera, or if they did takes in both languages. I'm still guessing
> that Larson could speak French. The rest of the cast was obviously French,
> no way for me to know if they spoke English.

Tarzan, Jane, Roger, and the bad guy du jour are all speaking English.
I don't think anybody else spoke on camera. Simon narrates it, but off
camera, and I don't believe for a moment it's the same guy.

The first time he does the Tarzan yell, they get it right; he's
announcing to the jungle that he just defeated an enemy. But later he's
just hollering while vine swinging. He wears boots, and has a knife but
uses a bow and arrow as well.

Cheetah is unbelievably annoying; perhaps the worst incarnation ever.

"A Franco/Canadian/Mexican Co-Production"

The end titles say TARZAN & THE CAVES OF DARKNESS #101 so I guess this
actually is the first one. Everybody already knows everybody else and
there's no attempt made to establish anything.

It has credits for "Written by" and "French Scenario"

Lydie Denier was also in Tarzan Epic, which caused me no amount of
confusion at the time.

[Adam H. Kerman]

I was going by the order listed in epguides, which claims it's the order
shown in syndication, including the five year gap before later seasons were
shown as it's substituted for the other syndicated Tarzan series, as
we discussed elsewhere. I'd trust the order shown on Canadian television,
but they don't have that.

Yes, epguides has "Caves of Darkness" as the sixth episode aired,
with a production number of 101. The one I saw, "The Poisoned Waters",
has a production number of 113. Can you watch the beginning of it from
your source to see if the characters are introduced?

>>I was surprised that Larson, except for the silly hair, looked a bit more

>What *are* they thinking with that idiotic blond hair!?!?

Desperate to attract a female audience, I guess.

>>Tarzanish than usual. He was not as bulked up. The other episodes I'd
>>seen, they clearly had him pump up just before going on camera to make his
>>biceps and shoulders look veiny. Generally, he had bodybuilder pectorals,
>>which takes serious lifting to develop over weeks or even months. All
>>the lifting made his body look wrong for Tarzan, which should look long
>>and lanky and not bulky at all.

>>I would still love to know if the cast was speaking French or English
>>on camera, or if they did takes in both languages. I'm still guessing
>>that Larson could speak French. The rest of the cast was obviously French,
>>no way for me to know if they spoke English.

>Tarzan, Jane, Roger, and the bad guy du jour are all speaking English.
>I don't think anybody else spoke on camera. Simon narrates it, but off
>camera, and I don't believe for a moment it's the same guy.

Ok. I still wonder if they did a French version on camera with the same
camera set ups. Why hire all those French actors to speak English
on camera?

>The first time he does the Tarzan yell, they get it right; he's
>announcing to the jungle that he just defeated an enemy. But later he's
>just hollering while vine swinging. He wears boots, and has a knife but
>uses a bow and arrow as well.

That's interesting; thanks.

>Cheetah is unbelievably annoying; perhaps the worst incarnation ever.

Hahahaha

>"A Franco/Canadian/Mexican Co-Production"

Right. That's why I guessed that they might have spoken French in production.

>The end titles say TARZAN & THE CAVES OF DARKNESS #101 so I guess this
>actually is the first one. Everybody already knows everybody else and
>there's no attempt made to establish anything.

>It has credits for "Written by" and "French Scenario"

>Lydie Denier was also in Tarzan Epic, which caused me no amount of
>confusion at the time.

That's interesting.

[Adam H. Kerman]

"To Steal the Rising Sun", first season episode 24

This one's just bad, although at long last, I get to see Ely swinging in
on a rope to rescue a woman! They don't show the landing; uh oh.

Tarzan is sent on yet another mission. What, every episode in the last
half of season 1, he's treated like a spy or counterspy?

Ely's face looks younger to me for some reason, like a couple of years,
and the hair is longer. He's still taller than everyone else but he
doesn't tower over everybody as he did in "The Mask of Rona".

The mission is a fake. A man in something resembling British Expeditionary
Forces India uniform gets murdered and a note for Tarzan is taken. Tarzan
has been tasked with extracting a photographer and her film and equipment
from the jungle, but the bad guys are setting him up for something else.

It's absurd. The photographer isn't in any particular danger, except that
she's horrid and obnoxious and doesn't understand a damn thing about the
culture of the tribe she's documenting, despite having spent months with them.

It's full of annoying cliches, like poorly choreographed tribal dances
that look like they came from a spoof of tribal dances in westerns, so
the cliches are annoying and they're not even African. The native headdresses
seem to be inspired by old movies set in Ottoman Turkey and Arabia and
Star Trek episode with notoriously bad costumes "A Private Little War"
(one of my favorites except for the laughable costumes and makeup).

The tribal king is corrupt (having been educated in Paris but speaks
English without a French accent) and wants to steal the title Maguffin
from his own tribe. He's teamed up with white smugglers who make fun
of him. The leader of the smugglers, the one who killed the government
official (Tarzan claims he was expecting a CABINET MINISTER) to steal
the note, pretends to be a civil servant.

Cheetah decides he wants to learn photography and swipes her camera!

The camera looks like a cheap Kodak twin lens reflex box camera. Yeah,
they're square format and took Kodak 620 film for 12 2x2 images. 620
film had sprocket holes in the wrong place so Kodak could patent it;
120 film was just some common format from Europe which Kodak couldn't
patent. Kodak damn well knew it was just for profit, as both films were
manufactured on the same production line. The takeup reels were different.

Anyway, no photographer would use such a camera in the field. While
there's really nothing to break on it, most of 'em had fixed shutter speed
and fixed apeture and you couldn't change lenses. Hell, the really cheap
ones had fixed focus! No, you'd have taken a Nikon F 35 mm with lenses of
various focal lengths, the ubiquitous cameras of photojournalists of the
Viet Nam War era, tough enough to stop bullets. If she had porters, she
might have taken box cameras with large photographic plates to photograph
especially spectacular scenary, not that we saw any.

After the photographer finishes taking photographs inside a tent, one
of the smugglers tricks her into leaving the tent, claiming he'll back
her equipment. He's a complete stranger; no photographer would allow this.
As soon as she leaves, the smugglers murder the tribesmen guarding
sacred objects, including the Maguffin, which I'm sure goes into the
photographer's bag.

Tarzan insists on taking the photographer with him according to orders.
He can't leave her behind with the corrupt tribal king; Tarzan is aware
that he's corrupt and expects his own tribe to rise up. For some reason,
the tribal king doesn't get indignant. The smugglers object 'cuz it's
not according to their script, but Tarzan won't listen as he doesn't
know them and the orders are from someone else. The tribal king lets
them go, telling the smugglers, essentially, to head them off at the
pass (the river they're heading to).

(You know, I'm not even half way through. I'm just not enjoying it and
I keep doing other things.)

Cheetah swipes a sacred object and hides it in a tent! The tribe blames
the smugglers! The corrupt tribal king sends the angry tribe after Tarzan. I still
have no idea how they intend to beat Tarzan to the river.

When the native drums stop, Tarzan assumes they're being chased. Cheetah
will later inform Tarzan that the natives are restless...

The king and smugglers have to crawl through some underground passages
that Tarzan doesn't know about. They struggle down some rope ladders
"built by the ancients"; seriously, you have to replace these every few
years, but be careful! If it breaks, what exactly are you to do?

In a later scene, the king never makes it out of the caves as the
smugglers murder him.

Tarzan plays anthropological social worker, wanting to shake this tribe
from its isolation and get them to meet their neighbors. Meanwhile,
the photographer complains about how dirty they are and the horrors
she's seen... what a horrid character.

When the natives toss a spear at Tarzan, he tosses it right back, and
it lands in the middle of the pack just ahead of them. Hey! Ron Ely
could have been in the Olympics!

The chase through the jungle is so silly, with the natives in their
ridiculous tribal costumes, I was expecting one of them to turn out to
be Mel Brooks or one of the obviously Jewish actors (not hiding his
Brooklyn accent) that played Indians on F Troop. btw, the "jungle" they
are running through looks more like a public park.

Yay! Tarzan defeats the savages by leaving her equipment behind near
a clump of trees. They check it out, then Tarzan swings over on a rope
and kicks them over! Second rope swing in this episode!

Where does Tarzan carry all these ropes and when did he have time to
set it up?

During the fight, Tarzan does more bad karate chops and basic judo,
although Ely is so tall and the extras playing the natives so short,
Tarzan doesn't look like he's done a judo throw on one guy. Instead,
it looks more like the guy he's fighting had to jump up and flip himself
over Ely's left shoulder.

Tarzan tricks the natives by having Cheetah walk around in her boots!
Ok, chimps don't actually "walk", but it fools the natives anyway. The
only decent acting in this episode is by Cheetah!

The hidden photographer is outed by a rubber snake and gets gets captured
by a middle-management tribal savage. He's rough with her photographic
equipment while searching it, then discovers the Maguffin. Tarzan returns
and has a fight with the savage. The photographer is in no mood to return
the Maguffin to the angry natives to get killed, and pulls a gun on Tarzan
to force him to take her and her film out of the jungle. Guns don't scare
Tarzan. Anyway, he believes he's injured the savage in the fight and wants
to take him to a doctor, so they head toward civilization, more objections
heard. She calms down when Cheetah returns the boots and Tarzan's faith
and righteousness starts to rub off on her.

They see a beautiful sunrise. Isn't she a photographer? It simply doesn't
occur to her to take a picture. (There's no explanation of what became
of "night".)

At the river, the smugglers greet them, all smiles. Tarzan takes one of
the smugglers with, then fights when they discover that the injured savage
wasn't so injured after all; he's left. The smuggler doesn't survive the
fight. At the river, the photographer tricks the remaining two smugglers
and tosses her bag into the river; one smuggler goes after it and is
eaten by a crocodile. Tarzan returns. The remaining smuggler pulls a
gun on him, but the savage also returns and knocks him out. Somehow,
the photographer pocketed the Maguffin and returns it! She'd tossed
away the film! (As the Maguffin is an enormous ruby, it wouldn't have
been much trouble to retrieve it from the shallow river, as Tarzan would
have convinced the croc to go away.)

Jai shows up at the very end. If Jai had been in the whole episode, he
really couldn't have ruined it.

At the end of the episode, the photographer sums up the lessons we've
learned this week.

Despite the rotten script, the cast included Victoria Shaw (photographer)
an Australian model (she lost the accent) and friend of Debbie Reynolds
mostly tv credits but she was the Queen in Medieval World in Westworld.
Also James Earl Jones as the middle management savage and Strother Martin
as one of the smugglers.

On H&I, you can read the closing credits.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nbvj6c$t7v$3...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> "To Steal the Rising Sun", first season episode 24
>
> This one's just bad, although at long last, I get to see Ely swinging in
> on a rope to rescue a woman! They don't show the landing; uh oh.
>
> Tarzan is sent on yet another mission. What, every episode in the last
> half of season 1, he's treated like a spy or counterspy?
>
> Ely's face looks younger to me for some reason, like a couple of years,
> and the hair is longer. He's still taller than everyone else but he
> doesn't tower over everybody as he did in "The Mask of Rona".
>
> The mission is a fake. A man in something resembling British Expeditionary
> Forces India uniform gets murdered

and nobody notices the wrecked jeep or dead bodies

and a note for Tarzan is taken. Tarzan
> has been tasked with extracting a photographer and her film and equipment
> from the jungle, but the bad guys are setting him up for something else.
>
> It's absurd. The photographer isn't in any particular danger, except that
> she's horrid and obnoxious and doesn't understand a damn thing about the
> culture of the tribe she's documenting, despite having spent months with
> them.

Was I the only one thinking that Tarzan should have sided with the
natives that didn't want their picture taken, and ripped the film out of
her camera? Or that at the end, when the stupid twit picks up the
Rising Sun with her bare hand, despite being told that that's an
automatic death sentence, that Darth Vader would just, you know, kill
her?

>
> It's full of annoying cliches, like poorly choreographed tribal dances
> that look like they came from a spoof of tribal dances in westerns, so
> the cliches are annoying and they're not even African. The native headdresses
> seem to be inspired by old movies set in Ottoman Turkey and Arabia and
> Star Trek episode with notoriously bad costumes "A Private Little War"
> (one of my favorites except for the laughable costumes and makeup).

And the girls are right out of an Arabian Knights harem.

>
> The tribal king is corrupt (having been educated in Paris but speaks
> English without a French accent) and wants to steal the title Maguffin
> from his own tribe. He's teamed up with white smugglers who make fun
> of him. The leader of the smugglers, the one who killed the government
> official (Tarzan claims he was expecting a CABINET MINISTER) to steal
> the note, pretends to be a civil servant.
>
> Cheetah decides he wants to learn photography and swipes her camera!

Should have bonked her on the head when he dropped it.

>
> The camera looks like a cheap Kodak twin lens reflex box camera. Yeah,
> they're square format and took Kodak 620 film for 12 2x2 images. 620
> film had sprocket holes in the wrong place so Kodak could patent it;
> 120 film was just some common format from Europe which Kodak couldn't
> patent. Kodak damn well knew it was just for profit, as both films were
> manufactured on the same production line. The takeup reels were different.
>
> Anyway, no photographer would use such a camera in the field. While

much less only have one

> there's really nothing to break on it, most of 'em had fixed shutter speed
> and fixed apeture and you couldn't change lenses. Hell, the really cheap
> ones had fixed focus! No, you'd have taken a Nikon F 35 mm with lenses of
> various focal lengths, the ubiquitous cameras of photojournalists of the
> Viet Nam War era, tough enough to stop bullets. If she had porters, she
> might have taken box cameras with large photographic plates to photograph
> especially spectacular scenary, not that we saw any.

She must have had a bag of flash bulbs we missed, too.

>
> After the photographer finishes taking photographs inside a tent, one
> of the smugglers tricks her into leaving the tent, claiming he'll back
> her equipment. He's a complete stranger; no photographer would allow this.

Not even HIM - "I'll have my creepy assistant do it"

> As soon as she leaves, the smugglers murder the tribesmen guarding
> sacred objects, including the Maguffin, which I'm sure goes into the
> photographer's bag.
>
> Tarzan insists on taking the photographer with him according to orders.

I'm not quite sure where he GOT those orders - if they were in the
papers the bad guys stole, why didn't they read them? If Tarzan already
had his orders, what *was* in the papers?

> He can't leave her behind with the corrupt tribal king; Tarzan is aware
> that he's corrupt and expects his own tribe to rise up.

And announces it right in front of the King!

For some reason,
> the tribal king doesn't get indignant. The smugglers object 'cuz it's
> not according to their script, but Tarzan won't listen as he doesn't
> know them and the orders are from someone else. The tribal king lets
> them go, telling the smugglers, essentially, to head them off at the
> pass (the river they're heading to).
>
> (You know, I'm not even half way through. I'm just not enjoying it and
> I keep doing other things.)

heh

>
> Cheetah swipes a sacred object and hides it in a tent! The tribe blames
> the smugglers! The corrupt tribal king sends the angry tribe after Tarzan. I
> still
> have no idea how they intend to beat Tarzan to the river.

Via the secret caves that only the King knows about.

>
> When the native drums stop, Tarzan assumes they're being chased. Cheetah
> will later inform Tarzan that the natives are restless...

Tarzan can hear a big cat grown 3 miles away, but the running natives
get within a hundred yards?

>
> The king and smugglers have to crawl through some underground passages
> that Tarzan doesn't know about. They struggle down some rope ladders
> "built by the ancients"; seriously, you have to replace these every few
> years, but be careful! If it breaks, what exactly are you to do?
>
> In a later scene, the king never makes it out of the caves as the
> smugglers murder him.

Yay

This is a story structure problem ... they have 4 people we don't care
about, and hope end up dead, journeying through the secret caves? This
should have been Tarzan's route.

Another problem is, pretty much the only one in the right the whole time
is Darth Vader! It doesn't even matter that he's wrong about who stole
the gem - just the fact that they're carrying it gives them the death
sentence on twelve systems. The King is corrupt, the 3 bad guys are
jewel thieves and murderers, the photographer is horrible (and I was
never sure that she wouldn't have gone along with the jewel theft if she
could get away with it) and Tarzan was beating up the wrong people!

>
> Tarzan plays anthropological social worker, wanting to shake this tribe
> from its isolation and get them to meet their neighbors.

they wear freaking GLASSES ... somebody's getting medical treatment.

Meanwhile,
> the photographer complains about how dirty they are and the horrors
> she's seen... what a horrid character.

Yes

>
> When the natives toss a spear at Tarzan, he tosses it right back, and
> it lands in the middle of the pack just ahead of them. Hey! Ron Ely
> could have been in the Olympics!

The spearchucking of Tarzan ... no man can say.

>
> The chase through the jungle is so silly, with the natives in their
> ridiculous tribal costumes, I was expecting one of them to turn out to
> be Mel Brooks or one of the obviously Jewish actors (not hiding his
> Brooklyn accent) that played Indians on F Troop. btw, the "jungle" they
> are running through looks more like a public park.

Several scenes take place in very obvious jungle sets, the first I've
seen on this show.

>
> Yay! Tarzan defeats the savages by leaving her equipment behind near
> a clump of trees. They check it out, then Tarzan swings over on a rope
> and kicks them over! Second rope swing in this episode!
>
> Where does Tarzan carry all these ropes and when did he have time to
> set it up?

Those are just native vines that grow that way.

>
> During the fight, Tarzan does more bad karate chops and basic judo,
> although Ely is so tall and the extras playing the natives so short,
> Tarzan doesn't look like he's done a judo throw on one guy. Instead,
> it looks more like the guy he's fighting had to jump up and flip himself
> over Ely's left shoulder.
>
> Tarzan tricks the natives by having Cheetah walk around in her boots!
> Ok, chimps don't actually "walk", but it fools the natives anyway. The
> only decent acting in this episode is by Cheetah!

We also find out that Cheetah is a girl ...

>
> The hidden photographer is outed by a rubber snake and gets gets captured
> by a middle-management tribal savage. He's rough with her photographic
> equipment while searching it, then discovers the Maguffin. Tarzan returns
> and has a fight with the savage. The photographer is in no mood to return
> the Maguffin to the angry natives to get killed, and pulls a gun on Tarzan
> to force him to take her and her film out of the jungle. Guns don't scare
> Tarzan. Anyway, he believes he's injured the savage in the fight and wants
> to take him to a doctor, so they head toward civilization, more objections
> heard. She calms down when Cheetah returns the boots and Tarzan's faith
> and righteousness starts to rub off on her.
>
> They see a beautiful sunrise. Isn't she a photographer? It simply doesn't
> occur to her to take a picture. (There's no explanation of what became
> of "night".)

Yeah, I was sure it was sunSET, but apparently not ...

>
> At the river, the smugglers greet them, all smiles. Tarzan takes one of
> the smugglers with, then fights when they discover that the injured savage
> wasn't so injured after all; he's left. The smuggler doesn't survive the
> fight. At the river, the photographer tricks the remaining two smugglers
> and tosses her bag into the river; one smuggler goes after it and is
> eaten by a crocodile. Tarzan returns. The remaining smuggler pulls a
> gun on him, but the savage also returns and knocks him out. Somehow,
> the photographer pocketed the Maguffin and returns it! She'd tossed
> away the film! (As the Maguffin is an enormous ruby,

and by that we mean 'bowling ball size'

it wouldn't have
> been much trouble to retrieve it from the shallow river, as Tarzan would
> have convinced the croc to go away.)
>
> Jai shows up at the very end. If Jai had been in the whole episode, he
> really couldn't have ruined it.

yes

>
> At the end of the episode, the photographer sums up the lessons we've
> learned this week.

And torments Jai by telling him that Tarzan shot her in the arm - and
her coat isn't even damaged!

>
> Despite the rotten script, the cast included Victoria Shaw (photographer)
> an Australian model (she lost the accent)

Well, she had these weird accents that came and went, ranging from
Liverpool to Georgia and parts unknown inbetween

and friend of Debbie Reynolds
> mostly tv credits but she was the Queen in Medieval World in Westworld.

huh

The Google says:

1. Victoria Shaw
Actress
Victoria Shaw was an Australian-born American actress. Wikipedia
Born: May 25, 1935, Sydney, Australia
born Jeanette Ann Lavina Mary Elizabeth Elphick
Died: August 17, 1988, Sydney, Australia
Spouse: Elliott Alexander (m. 1966­1969), Roger Smith (m. 1956­1965)
Children: Tracey Smith, Jordan Smith, Dallas Smith
Books: Coping with Sexual Harassment and Gender Bias, More

http://cineclap.free.fr/mondwest/victoria-shaw.jpeg

> Also James Earl Jones as the middle management savage and Strother Martin
> as one of the smugglers.

And Henry Beckman, the captain of the ship from Here Come the brides.
All three bad guys have voices so recognizable that I knew who the
actors were even when they were only showing us their pelvises (don't
ask, and, no, I don't know why).

>
> On H&I, you can read the closing credits.

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>"To Steal the Rising Sun", first season episode 24

>Tarzan can hear a big cat grown 3 miles away, but the running natives
>get within a hundred yards?

Good point

>Another problem is, pretty much the only one in the right the whole time

>is Darth Vader! . . .

Yeah. How exactly was Tarzan aware of tribal politics? Is there some
investigative journalist in the daily paper off screen who reviewed
the tribe's finances?

>>When the natives toss a spear at Tarzan, he tosses it right back, and
>>it lands in the middle of the pack just ahead of them. Hey! Ron Ely
>>could have been in the Olympics!

>The spearchucking of Tarzan ... no man can say.

Hehehehe

>We also find out that Cheetah is a girl ...

What the hell? That was news to me. Ok, I guess the chimp is a girl...

>>Despite the rotten script, the cast included Victoria Shaw (photographer)
>>an Australian model (she lost the accent)

>Well, she had these weird accents that came and went, ranging from
>Liverpool to Georgia and parts unknown inbetween

I should have said she lost multiple accents.

>>and friend of Debbie Reynolds mostly tv credits but she was the Queen
>>in Medieval World in Westworld.

>huh

>The Google says:

> 1. Victoria Shaw
>Actress
>Victoria Shaw was an Australian-born American actress. Wikipedia
>Born: May 25, 1935, Sydney, Australia
>born Jeanette Ann Lavina Mary Elizabeth Elphick
>Died: August 17, 1988, Sydney, Australia
>Spouse: Elliott Alexander (m. 1966 1969), Roger Smith (m. 1956 1965)

I think Roger Smith was an American studio executive or producer or something.

>Children: Tracey Smith, Jordan Smith, Dallas Smith
>Books: Coping with Sexual Harassment and Gender Bias, More

>http://cineclap.free.fr/mondwest/victoria-shaw.jpeg

She died quite a while ago in her late 50s. I didn't read anything that
said what she died of.

>>Also James Earl Jones as the middle management savage and Strother Martin
>>as one of the smugglers.

>And Henry Beckman, the captain of the ship from Here Come the brides.
>All three bad guys have voices so recognizable that I knew who the
>actors were even when they were only showing us their pelvises (don't
>ask, and, no, I don't know why).

I won't ask, but Ron Ely will!

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nc05ip$j6s$2...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
> >"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> >>"To Steal the Rising Sun", first season episode 24
>
> >Tarzan can hear a big cat grown 3 miles away, but the running natives
> >get within a hundred yards?
>
> Good point
>
> >Another problem is, pretty much the only one in the right the whole time
> >is Darth Vader! . . .
>
> Yeah. How exactly was Tarzan aware of tribal politics? Is there some
> investigative journalist in the daily paper off screen who reviewed
> the tribe's finances?

I've no idea what Tarzan knew or when he knew it or how.

>
> >>When the natives toss a spear at Tarzan, he tosses it right back, and
> >>it lands in the middle of the pack just ahead of them. Hey! Ron Ely
> >>could have been in the Olympics!
>
> >The spearchucking of Tarzan ... no man can say.
>
> Hehehehe
>
> >We also find out that Cheetah is a girl ...
>
> What the hell? That was news to me. Ok, I guess the chimp is a girl...
>
> >>Despite the rotten script, the cast included Victoria Shaw (photographer)
> >>an Australian model (she lost the accent)
>
> >Well, she had these weird accents that came and went, ranging from
> >Liverpool to Georgia and parts unknown inbetween
>
> I should have said she lost multiple accents.
>
> >>and friend of Debbie Reynolds mostly tv credits but she was the Queen
> >>in Medieval World in Westworld.
>
> >huh
>
> >The Google says:
>
> > 1. Victoria Shaw
> >Actress
> >Victoria Shaw was an Australian-born American actress. Wikipedia
> >Born: May 25, 1935, Sydney, Australia
> >born Jeanette Ann Lavina Mary Elizabeth Elphick
> >Died: August 17, 1988, Sydney, Australia
> >Spouse: Elliott Alexander (m. 1966 1969), Roger Smith (m. 1956 1965)
>
> I think Roger Smith was an American studio executive or producer or something.

Actor and later husband of Ann-Margrock

>
> >Children: Tracey Smith, Jordan Smith, Dallas Smith
> >Books: Coping with Sexual Harassment and Gender Bias, More
>
> >http://cineclap.free.fr/mondwest/victoria-shaw.jpeg
>
> She died quite a while ago in her late 50s. I didn't read anything that
> said what she died of.

She died in 1988 in Sydney at the age of 53 from emphysema.

>
> >>Also James Earl Jones as the middle management savage and Strother Martin
> >>as one of the smugglers.
>
> >And Henry Beckman, the captain of the ship from Here Come the brides.
> >All three bad guys have voices so recognizable that I knew who the
> >actors were even when they were only showing us their pelvises (don't
> >ask, and, no, I don't know why).
>
> I won't ask, but Ron Ely will!

How Freudian.

>
> >>On H&I, you can read the closing credits.

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>>anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>>>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>>>"To Steal the Rising Sun", first season episode 24

>>>Tarzan can hear a big cat grown 3 miles away, but the running natives
>>>get within a hundred yards?

>>Good point

>>>Another problem is, pretty much the only one in the right the whole time
>>>is Darth Vader! . . .

>>Yeah. How exactly was Tarzan aware of tribal politics? Is there some
>>investigative journalist in the daily paper off screen who reviewed
>>the tribe's finances?

>I've no idea what Tarzan knew or when he knew it or how.

As you say, everything they don't explain in dialogue is Great Ape Memory.

Oh! Jeff Spencer! 77... Sun... Set Strip

IMDb sez he had some horrible brain clot which forced him off that show
and later, other serious medical conditions that forced his retirement
from acting. IMDb thinks he's still alive, though, and married to Ann.

>>>Children: Tracey Smith, Jordan Smith, Dallas Smith
>>>Books: Coping with Sexual Harassment and Gender Bias, More

>>>http://cineclap.free.fr/mondwest/victoria-shaw.jpeg

>>She died quite a while ago in her late 50s. I didn't read anything that
>>said what she died of.

>She died in 1988 in Sydney at the age of 53 from emphysema.

Oh, too bad.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nc1cem$afo$1...@news.albasani.net>,

Si.

So what ep is next?

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nbvj2l$t7v$1...@news.albasani.net>,

Watching. I wonder if that plane crash in the opening titles is
supposed to be how Tarzan and Jane met?

Simon's Journal, Friday the 24th ... just standard crap about danger and
poison. Tarzan in his tree house. Birdies. A cat! A snake! Tarzan
talks to Cheetah, but always staged so we don't see his face at the
time.

Later, he wakes Jane by yelling her name, again off screen. JANE JANE
COME COME JANE! She runs out and says "what, Tarzan?" So no first
meeting or anything. Waiting to see if anything is mentioned, but I
doubt it. Gratuitous fish on a stick.

Jane and Roger are speaking English. Tarzan too. Simon speaks mostly
offscreen, and ... when you do see his mouth move, I have no idea what
he's saying, and it's sure as Hell not his voice. I suspect he doesn't
speak English and is attempting broad phonetic line readings. They only
show tiny short shots of his face at the beginning or end of his lines,
and show the others listening 90% of the time.

Gratuitous scar face villain.

Bad guys only speak with the backs of their heads to camera.

Tarzan is shot in the face!

Scar Face is speaking English, poorly synced. He's played by a masked
Mexican wrestler.

LOL! All that was showing of Tarzan was his head when the guy shot at
him, and somehow the bullet got him in the thigh.

Tarzan murders all three bad guys by throwing them into the mercury
laden waters.

Gratuitous elephant posing.

I'm going to guess that they shot this hot mess without sound at all,
with people attempting to do their dialog in English, and then dubbed
the whole thing later, once in English, once in French, accounting for
the 2 credited scriptwriters and the deliberate staging/editing to hide
people speaking.

[Adam H. Kerman]

All right; thanks. While it's still desireable to produce a show like this
without story arcs so it doesn't matter what order they are viewed in or
broadcast in (as syndicators are always assumed to ignore intended order),
you still need a clear first episode in which the characters are introduced,
given that none of the characters from the novels are portrayed classically,
and the new characters always have to be introduced.

>Simon's Journal, Friday the 24th ... just standard crap about danger and
>poison. Tarzan in his tree house. Birdies. A cat! A snake! Tarzan
>talks to Cheetah, but always staged so we don't see his face at the
>time.

>Later, he wakes Jane by yelling her name, again off screen. JANE JANE
>COME COME JANE! She runs out and says "what, Tarzan?" So no first
>meeting or anything. Waiting to see if anything is mentioned, but I
>doubt it. Gratuitous fish on a stick.

Hehehehe

>Jane and Roger are speaking English. Tarzan too. Simon speaks mostly
>offscreen, and ... when you do see his mouth move, I have no idea what
>he's saying, and it's sure as Hell not his voice. I suspect he doesn't
>speak English and is attempting broad phonetic line readings. They only
>show tiny short shots of his face at the beginning or end of his lines,
>and show the others listening 90% of the time.

>Gratuitous scar face villain.

>Bad guys only speak with the backs of their heads to camera.

>Tarzan is shot in the face!

>Scar Face is speaking English, poorly synced. He's played by a masked
>Mexican wrestler.

>LOL! All that was showing of Tarzan was his head when the guy shot at
>him, and somehow the bullet got him in the thigh.

>Tarzan murders all three bad guys by throwing them into the mercury
>laden waters.

>Gratuitous elephant posing.

Hahahahaha

>I'm going to guess that they shot this hot mess without sound at all,
>with people attempting to do their dialog in English, and then dubbed
>the whole thing later, once in English, once in French, accounting for
>the 2 credited scriptwriters and the deliberate staging/editing to hide
>people speaking.

Thank you for making the sacrifice. The way you're describing Malick Bowens,
it appears that they cut his scenes for the English language version to
avoid dubbing him.

This was an international production intended for worldwide syndication.
I just can't believe they didn't plan the production around actors
speaking in multiple languages on film if they could (given that the
cameras were already set up), together with quality dubbing when required.

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:

>So what ep is next?

H&I broadcasts two early Saturday morning, so I set the recording last night.
I got a two parter (I hope): "Tarzan and the Perils of Charity Jones".

Julie Harris plays the title character. The description says there's a
lot of Jai in it, so I hope it's not due to Ely recovering from injuries.

Checking, yes, I do seem to have recorded those episodes. There's Julie
Harris. Cast included Ed Binns! Bernie Hamilton as Shambu! Bernie Hamilton
would be best known as the token black actor on Starsky and Hutch playing
the cardboard authority figure they would be in conflict with. I hope
everyone knows Edward Binns, a ubiquitous character actor with a career
spanning decades.

In the Wolf Larson episodes in Spanish (although I just a portion of the
first one), "Tarzan & the Slient Child" and "Tarzan Tames the Bronx", if
you really really really want to make the sacrifice.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nc1iab$iut$4...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

I have all of Ely, and season 1 of Wolf, sitting here ...

Thanks for telling me about episode guides, I can figure out what eps
are what in the Wolf. #2 & 3 for you, #11 & 21 for moi.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nc1h77$iut$3...@news.albasani.net>,

You'd think, but ... have we seen ANY Tarzan series that does that? Ron
Ely didn't, I'm pretty sure Epic didn't. Ely had that little narration
at the beginning, but they dropped that pretty quickly. And they never
told us who the Hell Jai was!

Um ... did you say "quality" in regards to this series? Quick, somebody
do the quote from Princess Bride ...

There's precedent for what I suggested. Italian filmmakers used to do
that all the time - they'd have an international cast, everybody would
speak their own language, and they just dubbed it all later.

[Adam H. Kerman]

Hahahaha; that was hypothetical. If I'm not getting too Freudian, the
producers did spend real money to maintain Wolf Larson's hair.

>There's precedent for what I suggested. Italian filmmakers used to do
>that all the time - they'd have an international cast, everybody would
>speak their own language, and they just dubbed it all later.

Yes, I was thinking of Sergio Leone and others from the 1960s too. Some
of those movies, you wondered if the cast was too international, if they
bothered filming with sound, just looped everything.

But if your observation was correct that some of the French actors were
filmed speaking in English, well, they could have done a take in French
as well.

[Adam H. Kerman]

I love epguides.com as the often go out of their way to tell you
what the original air date was for an episode when broadcast in its
country of production, not to mention what its original network was.
They often know the production number (which alas isn't always production
order). I wish they knew for the Wolf Larson Tarzan.

[A Friend]

In article <nc1rhu$6hi$2...@news.albasani.net>, Adam H. Kerman

I saw an interview with Fred Williamson once where he said the
non-English speaking actors in his casts (Fred produced many of his own
films) would say "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven" as their
line, and Fred would have the actual line dubbed in later. The actors'
lip movements while reciting numbers matched the dubbed-in dialogue
well enough.

[Adam H. Kerman]

thanks

[Ubiquitous]

>>>I was surprised that Larson, except for the silly hair, looked a bit more
>>
>>What *are* they thinking with that idiotic blond hair!?!?
>
>Desperate to attract a female audience, I guess.

I think this was made around the time Fabio was popular.

--
Pres Obama has no plan to deal with the debt, ISIS, illegal
immigration, Ukraine; but he does almost have his March Madness
brackets done.

[Adam H. Kerman]

You're right. Larson absolutely could have been photographed for the cover
of a romance novel. But Tarzan was such a cheap production, they couldn't
afford wind machines to keep his hair blowing.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nc6hlt$3a8$2...@news.albasani.net>,

Ick

>
> You're right. Larson absolutely could have been photographed for the cover
> of a romance novel. But Tarzan was such a cheap production, they couldn't
> afford wind machines to keep his hair blowing.

[Adam H. Kerman]

"Tarzan and the Woman of Steel"

Production number 122, but epguides says it aired as the 7th episode
of the first season in US first-run syndication.

Even for the Wolf Larson show, this one's just bad, and thank goodness
for Spanish. There's no resemblance to Burroughs at all.

Jane has a friend (she looks too young to be her mother) who is some
sort of female bodybuilder or fitness type. I guess they're making fun
of Jane Fonda or something. She gets all hot and bothered by Tarzan,
and Jane gets jealous, but Tarzan only has eyes for... Cheetah, which
makes Tarzan Dudley Do-Right.

Wolf is more bulked up than ever in this one. However, we get a lot of
rope swinging, even some transitions between "vines" and it looks like
Wolf himself did the stunts, but it's hard to tell. Even Roger gets in
a rope swing, as does the guest.

She goes swimming in the crocodile-infested river; no croc this week.
She does manage to almost drown in the two-foot deep rapids, sigh.

Later, she convinces Tarzan to be her training partner. Still later
in the episode, not waiting for Tarzan, she runs from a lioness. Hey!
It's good exercise! Tarzan rescues her by lassoing a kitten wearing
an obvious collar with buckle, so not the one from the stock footage.
They really don't try at all on this show.

Nothing happens between Jane and Tarzan in this series, well, ever, does it.

anim, I saw what you mean by the "French Scenario" credit. I've seen that
word on other French movies, so I think that means screenplay. You must
be right that the actors that speak only French are reading from
a different screenplay.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <ncg4l9$bjt$1...@dont-email.me>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

I'll check that one out next!

[anim8rfsk]

In article <ncg4l9$bjt$1...@dont-email.me>,
"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> "Tarzan and the Woman of Steel"
>
> Production number 122, but epguides says it aired as the 7th episode
> of the first season in US first-run syndication.
>
> Even for the Wolf Larson show, this one's just bad, and thank goodness
> for Spanish. There's no resemblance to Burroughs at all.

Oh, come on - they're eating Cap'n Crunch aren't they?

In a really weird blocking, the cereal is staged very clearly as product
placement, and yet the box says CRUNCHIES behind the Cap'n's head ...

>
> Jane has a friend (she looks too young to be her mother) who is some

She's a cousin who was sickly as kid, and they sent her somewhere other
than France to be well. She's speaking English, with no accent.

> sort of female bodybuilder or fitness type. I guess they're making fun
> of Jane Fonda or something. She gets all hot and bothered by Tarzan,
> and Jane gets jealous, but Tarzan only has eyes for... Cheetah, which
> makes Tarzan Dudley Do-Right.
>
> Wolf is more bulked up than ever in this one.

Looks like they oiled him up, probably to keep him from looking silly
next to the 'female' bodybuilder. He is pretty veiny.

However, we get a lot of
> rope swinging, even some transitions between "vines" and it looks like
> Wolf himself did the stunts, but it's hard to tell. Even Roger gets in
> a rope swing, as does the guest.

Gratuitous elephant riding.

>
> She goes swimming in the crocodile-infested river; no croc this week.
> She does manage to almost drown in the two-foot deep rapids, sigh.

She's swimming AGAINST the current - if she relaxes won't she just float
back to Tarzan?

Dialog says "my foot! I'm stuck!" which helps, because I saw no way she
could be in distress. Tarzan gets a smoochie as a reward for saving
her. Jane throws a jealous fit. Tarzan knows what a kiss is, and the
name for it.

Uh oh, Patrice is taking steroids! (Yeah, there's a shocker)

>
> Later, she convinces Tarzan to be her training partner.

Because running randomly through the jungle is a good way to get in
shape for the big competition (rolls eyes)

Still later
> in the episode, not waiting for Tarzan, she runs from a lioness. Hey!
> It's good exercise! Tarzan rescues her by lassoing a kitten wearing
> an obvious collar with buckle, so not the one from the stock footage.
> They really don't try at all on this show.

It's either cold in the jungle or Jane's not wearing a bra.

>
> Nothing happens between Jane and Tarzan in this series, well, ever, does it.

Nothing happens between *anybody* - Patrice says she's never taken the
steroids, and realizes after Tarzan saves her that drugs aren't the way
to go to win the big competition against girls with implants.

>
> anim, I saw what you mean by the "French Scenario" credit. I've seen that
> word on other French movies, so I think that means screenplay. You must
> be right that the actors that speak only French are reading from
> a different screenplay.

Roger gets a smooch! And faints like Shaggy Rogers.

The girl is an American Gladiator chick and ex wife of Michael Pare.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0661182/?ref_=tt_cl_t5

Hey! These are on the YouTube!
Here's one that looks like it was shot with a handheld camera with the
field dominance wrong, in English:
https://youtu.be/kidIbahAGWc

This one looks to be the same bad copy, but it seems to be official:
https://youtu.be/IgSYbCoMg58

And one recorded off Canadian TV, but unfortunately not in French:
https://youtu.be/fb9mW30zXRE

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>"Tarzan and the Woman of Steel"

>>Production number 122, but epguides says it aired as the 7th episode
>>of the first season in US first-run syndication.

>>Even for the Wolf Larson show, this one's just bad, and thank goodness
>>for Spanish. There's no resemblance to Burroughs at all.

>Oh, come on - they're eating Cap'n Crunch aren't they?

>In a really weird blocking, the cereal is staged very clearly as product
>placement, and yet the box says CRUNCHIES behind the Cap'n's head ...

The product placement wasn't in the edit I just watched on broadcast
for Spanish language television. Perhaps it existed for US syndication only.

>>Jane has a friend (she looks too young to be her mother) who is some

>She's a cousin who was sickly as kid, and they sent her somewhere other
>than France to be well. She's speaking English, with no accent.

Thank you.

>>sort of female bodybuilder or fitness type. I guess they're making fun
>>of Jane Fonda or something. She gets all hot and bothered by Tarzan,
>>and Jane gets jealous, but Tarzan only has eyes for... Cheetah, which
>>makes Tarzan Dudley Do-Right.

>>Wolf is more bulked up than ever in this one.

>Looks like they oiled him up, probably to keep him from looking silly
>next to the 'female' bodybuilder. He is pretty veiny.

Yeah, oiled him up, 'cuz that's a really really good idea when your main
form of transportation is swinging from vines.

I wasn't just talking about him looking veiny; that's just lifting
immediately before going on camera. I was talking about the pecs, which
were noticeably bigger than usual. He must have worked on them for a week
before shooting this episode.

The kind of weight training Larson did would interfere with doing
anything Tarzan has to do.

>>However, we get a lot of rope swinging, even some transitions between
>>"vines" and it looks like Wolf himself did the stunts, but it's hard
>>to tell. Even Roger gets in a rope swing, as does the guest.

>Gratuitous elephant riding.

Hehehehe. How did she get up there? I always get a kick out of an elephant
lifting people onto its back with its trunk, but they didn't show it.

>>She goes swimming in the crocodile-infested river; no croc this week.
>>She does manage to almost drown in the two-foot deep rapids, sigh.

>She's swimming AGAINST the current - if she relaxes won't she just float
>back to Tarzan?

>Dialog says "my foot! I'm stuck!" which helps, because I saw no way she
>could be in distress. Tarzan gets a smoochie as a reward for saving
>her. Jane throws a jealous fit. Tarzan knows what a kiss is, and the
>name for it.

>Uh oh, Patrice is taking steroids! (Yeah, there's a shocker)

Yeah, this episode is so un-Burroughs-like, it's ridiculous. It might
as well have been shot in a Miami gym.

>>Later, she convinces Tarzan to be her training partner.

>Because running randomly through the jungle is a good way to get in
>shape for the big competition (rolls eyes)

One thing I didn't get due to not hearing it in English: Was she trying
to convince Tarzan leave the jungle to compete on the circuit?

>>Still later in the episode, not waiting for Tarzan, she runs from a
>>lioness. Hey! It's good exercise! Tarzan rescues her by lassoing a
>>kitten wearing an obvious collar with buckle, so not the one from the
>>stock footage. They really don't try at all on this show.

>It's either cold in the jungle or Jane's not wearing a bra.

Lydie Denier rarely does; I notice these things. She's French; I don't
think they own as many bras as American women do.

>>Nothing happens between Jane and Tarzan in this series, well, ever, does it.

>Nothing happens between *anybody* - Patrice says she's never taken the
>steroids, and realizes after Tarzan saves her that drugs aren't the way
>to go to win the big competition against girls with implants.

Hehehehe; thank you for providing the moral of this week's story.

>>anim, I saw what you mean by the "French Scenario" credit. I've seen that
>>word on other French movies, so I think that means screenplay. You must
>>be right that the actors that speak only French are reading from
>>a different screenplay.

>Roger gets a smooch! And faints like Shaggy Rogers.

>The girl is an American Gladiator chick and ex wife of Michael Pare.
>http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0661182/?ref_=tt_cl_t5

Thanks. IMDb sez she posed in Playboy. I think I'll not track that
pictorial down.

>Hey! These are on the YouTube!
>Here's one that looks like it was shot with a handheld camera with the
>field dominance wrong, in English:
>https://youtu.be/kidIbahAGWc

You've lost me with "field dominance" (depth of field?), but they sure
managed to cut off the outside edge of the image. Hearing it in English
is worse.

Can I comment how much I hate the theme song, clearly a theme that was
rejected for some cheap '80s series?

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nch76s$iau$1...@news.albasani.net>,

And yet there's a bizarre scene where Patrice tells him he really needs
to work on his pecs.

>
> The kind of weight training Larson did would interfere with doing
> anything Tarzan has to do.

Except chest pounding.

>
> >>However, we get a lot of rope swinging, even some transitions between
> >>"vines" and it looks like Wolf himself did the stunts, but it's hard
> >>to tell. Even Roger gets in a rope swing, as does the guest.
>
> >Gratuitous elephant riding.
>
> Hehehehe. How did she get up there? I always get a kick out of an elephant
> lifting people onto its back with its trunk, but they didn't show it.

Yeah, it sorta starts to lean down, and then she's up on top. I suspect
a ladder ...

>
> >>She goes swimming in the crocodile-infested river; no croc this week.
> >>She does manage to almost drown in the two-foot deep rapids, sigh.
>
> >She's swimming AGAINST the current - if she relaxes won't she just float
> >back to Tarzan?
>
> >Dialog says "my foot! I'm stuck!" which helps, because I saw no way she
> >could be in distress. Tarzan gets a smoochie as a reward for saving
> >her. Jane throws a jealous fit. Tarzan knows what a kiss is, and the
> >name for it.
>
> >Uh oh, Patrice is taking steroids! (Yeah, there's a shocker)
>
> Yeah, this episode is so un-Burroughs-like, it's ridiculous. It might
> as well have been shot in a Miami gym.

heh

>
> >>Later, she convinces Tarzan to be her training partner.
>
> >Because running randomly through the jungle is a good way to get in
> >shape for the big competition (rolls eyes)
>
> One thing I didn't get due to not hearing it in English: Was she trying
> to convince Tarzan leave the jungle to compete on the circuit?

No.
Her story is ... weird.
She was a sickly child in France, and, as she wouldn't survive the
winter, they sent her abroad (I assume to America). She apparently
started bodybuilding to get people to like her, and is now convinced
that her buffness is the only reason people like her. She's won the big
championship 4 years running; this will be 5 but she has to beat some
silicone sister. Her problem is that she hurt her back and hasn't
worked out in 3 months, so she grabs (but has not yet taken) some
steroids and flies to Africa to train because, um, like I said, weird.
Tarzan rejecting her smoochies convinces her he likes her for herself
and not her buffness so she realizes she doesn't need steroids and, um,
just goes away 'cause it's the end of the episode.

>
> >>Still later in the episode, not waiting for Tarzan, she runs from a
> >>lioness. Hey! It's good exercise! Tarzan rescues her by lassoing a
> >>kitten wearing an obvious collar with buckle, so not the one from the
> >>stock footage. They really don't try at all on this show.
>
> >It's either cold in the jungle or Jane's not wearing a bra.
>
> Lydie Denier rarely does; I notice these things. She's French; I don't
> think they own as many bras as American women do.
>
> >>Nothing happens between Jane and Tarzan in this series, well, ever, does it.
>
> >Nothing happens between *anybody* - Patrice says she's never taken the
> >steroids, and realizes after Tarzan saves her that drugs aren't the way
> >to go to win the big competition against girls with implants.
>
> Hehehehe; thank you for providing the moral of this week's story.

Heh, that was pretty much it. That and 'inner beauty' or some such
nonsense.

>
> >>anim, I saw what you mean by the "French Scenario" credit. I've seen that
> >>word on other French movies, so I think that means screenplay. You must
> >>be right that the actors that speak only French are reading from
> >>a different screenplay.
>
> >Roger gets a smooch! And faints like Shaggy Rogers.
>
> >The girl is an American Gladiator chick and ex wife of Michael Pare.
> >http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0661182/?ref_=tt_cl_t5
>
> Thanks. IMDb sez she posed in Playboy. I think I'll not track that
> pictorial down.

LOL, maybe that's why I recognized her name. Now I *must* look:

Lots of (fairly tame) pics. The good news is, google image search for
'marisa pare nude' brings up Marisa Tomei nude! Whoo-hooo!

>
> >Hey! These are on the YouTube!
> >Here's one that looks like it was shot with a handheld camera with the
> >field dominance wrong, in English:
> >https://youtu.be/kidIbahAGWc
>
> You've lost me with "field dominance" (depth of field?), but they sure
> managed to cut off the outside edge of the image. Hearing it in English
> is worse.

Oh, it jitters, because the video fields (two make a frame) are
backwards.

>
> Can I comment how much I hate the theme song, clearly a theme that was
> rejected for some cheap '80s series?

It's like 4th season Airwolf. Synthesizers be damned!

[Adam H. Kerman]

That dialogue required double entendre. On this show, there isn't even
half an entendre.

>>The kind of weight training Larson did would interfere with doing
>>anything Tarzan has to do.

>Except chest pounding.

Heh

>>>>Later, she convinces Tarzan to be her training partner.

>>>Because running randomly through the jungle is a good way to get in
>>>shape for the big competition (rolls eyes)

>>One thing I didn't get due to not hearing it in English: Was she trying
>>to convince Tarzan leave the jungle to compete on the circuit?

>No.
>Her story is ... weird.
>She was a sickly child in France, and, as she wouldn't survive the
>winter, they sent her abroad (I assume to America).

In the English language version you found on YouTube, I heard Jane
say Arizona, so you must have run into her 25 years ago.

>She apparently started bodybuilding to get people to like her, and
>is now convinced that her buffness is the only reason people like her.
>She's won the big championship 4 years running; this will be 5 but she has
>to beat some silicone sister. Her problem is that she hurt her back and
>hasn't worked out in 3 months, so she grabs (but has not yet taken) some
>steroids and flies to Africa to train because, um, like I said, weird.
>Tarzan rejecting her smoochies convinces her he likes her for herself
>and not her buffness so she realizes she doesn't need steroids and, um,
>just goes away 'cause it's the end of the episode.

Good grief. I keep telling you Spanish is the way to go.

>Lots of (fairly tame) pics. The good news is, google image search for
>'marisa pare nude' brings up Marisa Tomei nude! Whoo-hooo!

Good taste!

As far as I know, Marisa Tomei's nudity was late in her acting career,
from The Wrestler. I hope she does more.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nch8rd$mss$1...@news.albasani.net>,

heh

>
> >Lots of (fairly tame) pics. The good news is, google image search for
> >'marisa pare nude' brings up Marisa Tomei nude! Whoo-hooo!
>
> Good taste!
>
> As far as I know, Marisa Tomei's nudity was late in her acting career,
> from The Wrestler. I hope she does more.

These say THE WRESTLER but also BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD and
DARK RAPTURE and UNTAMED HEART.

[Adam H. Kerman]

I haven't seen Untamed Heart in years, maybe once since I saw it in theater.
I'd forgotten. Yeah, refreshing my memory, it's a key scene toward
the end of the movie.

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead is one of those movies that critics
praised that I've tried to watch a number of times. I have trouble getting
past 10 minutes or so. I guess I should just wind ahead to the good parts.

Dark Rapture? IMDb comes up with a movie from 1938. Looking at IMDb
and Celebrity Movie Archive, I have no idea what movie you're thinking of.

Did you see what she's in next? Aunt May, Untitled Spider-Man Reboot.
A third origin story? That's a career-killing role; just ask Sally
Field. Miss Field ranted to Howard Stern about how awful the role was a
few days ago, but she did it as a favor to her producer friend.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <nchdjd$fg$1...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
> >"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>
> >>As far as I know, Marisa Tomei's nudity was late in her acting career,
> >>from The Wrestler. I hope she does more.
>
> >These say THE WRESTLER but also BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD and
> >DARK RAPTURE and UNTAMED HEART.
>
> I haven't seen Untamed Heart in years, maybe once since I saw it in theater.
> I'd forgotten. Yeah, refreshing my memory, it's a key scene toward
> the end of the movie.
>
> Before the Devil Knows You're Dead is one of those movies that critics
> praised that I've tried to watch a number of times. I have trouble getting
> past 10 minutes or so. I guess I should just wind ahead to the good parts.
>
> Dark Rapture? IMDb comes up with a movie from 1938. Looking at IMDb
> and Celebrity Movie Archive, I have no idea what movie you're thinking of.

Yeah, I couldn't find it either. Blurb said it was her first nude role,
at 31, which would be 1995, a couple years *after* Untamed Heart.

>
> Did you see what she's in next? Aunt May, Untitled Spider-Man Reboot.

Yes. Activate retch icon. And, come on, a 50 year old hot Aunt May???

> A third origin story? That's a career-killing role; just ask Sally
> Field. Miss Field ranted to Howard Stern about how awful the role was a
> few days ago, but she did it as a favor to her producer friend.

[Ubiquitous]

anim...@cox.net wrote:
> "Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>> "Tarzan and the Woman of Steel"

Why do you keep posting to the same thread with the same subject?

Oh, crap! I remember this show! I never watched it, tho.

I cannot decide who is purtier, Tarzan or Jane.

Is Tarzan using a helicopter with a vine "ladder" for transportation?

--
Which title has a better ring to it?
_ President Hillary
_ Prisoner Hillary

[Ubiquitous]

Did you mean "cheap 1990's series"?
It kinda reminds me of Baywatch, with the scrolling letters of the title.

[Adam H. Kerman]

That was the style, sure. Baywatch had an ok theme song.

Hm. Did Baywatch have a different theme song in syndication that it did
as its one season as a network show?

[Adam H. Kerman]

Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>Why do you keep posting to the same thread with the same subject?

Why not? If you really like, I can put the episode title on Subject,
but you're not watching these. If you care to watch, they're on the
Spanish-language subchannel that had been Telefutura but is not Tele-Exitos.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <ncik93$jot$2...@news.albasani.net>,

https://youtu.be/RDufroPwSw8
BAYWATCH Intro 1999
"The original NBC theme was "Save Me", performed by Peter Cetera, with
Bonnie Raitt on guitar and Richard Sterban, bass singer for The Oak
Ridge Boys, as one of the background vocalists. The song is from
Cetera's 1988 album One More Story.
On some DVD releases of the first series "Save Me" was replaced with
"Above the Waterline" by Kim Carnes.
For the syndicated series, the new theme "I'm Always Here" (written by
Jimi Jamison, Cory Lerios, John D'Andrea and Joe Henry, performed by
Jimi Jamison of Survivor) replaced "Save Me". An instrumental version of
"I'm Always Here" was used as the ending theme of seasons 6 to 9. A
different instrumental version was used as the theme for season 10 (the
first season of Baywatch Hawaii).
When the NBC episodes were added to the Baywatch syndication package,
the opening theme was changed to a shorter version of "I'm Always Here",
with some images of the original NBC opening retained. An instrumental
version of the song appears in the episode "Battles" of the UK
television programme Spaced. The Swedish electronic musical group
Sunblock remixed the song and released it as a single. A soundalike
version was used in an episode of Hey Arnold over the end credits.
David Hasselhoff sang "Current of Love" as the ending theme of Seasons
2­4. Together with Laura Branigan he sang "I Believe" as the ending
theme of Season 5.
On the DVD edition of the first season, the original main title theme is
replaced by the song "Strong Enough", performed by Evan Olson (from his
album Audio).
The theme for season 11 (the second season of Baywatch Hawaii) was "Let
Me Be the One" by Fiji and Glenn Medeiros.
The spin-off series, Baywatch Nights theme song was performed by
saxophonist Alfonzo Blackwell. "The Nights Will Never Be the Same"
(Baywatch Nights Theme) was also featured on his 1996 sophomore CD
release. Alfonzo Blackwell was featured with David Hasselhoff each week
in the ending credits of the TV series.

Baywatch is an American action drama series about the Los Angeles County
Lifeguards who patrol the beaches of Los Angeles County, California,
starring David Hasselhoff. The show was canceled after its first season
on NBC, but survived and later became one of a select few of the most
watched television shows in the world."


https://youtu.be/sWsR-rN9mco
Baywatch - Evolution of Opening Intro Themes (Season 1-11) (1989-2001)
"This is the opening intro themes of all 11 seasons of Baywatch..the
show has gone through massive cast changes but one being the main cast
member and most popular ever played by David Hasselhoff and then other
popular stars like Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, David Chokachi,
Kelly Packard etc..I really enjoyed these intro themes even though it
was always spoofed being an afternoon show lol."


Short answer: "Yes"

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>>>Did you mean "cheap 1990's series"?
>>>It kinda reminds me of Baywatch, with the scrolling letters of the title.

>>That was the style, sure. Baywatch had an ok theme song.

>>Hm. Did Baywatch have a different theme song in syndication that it did
>>as its one season as a network show?

>https://youtu.be/RDufroPwSw8

>BAYWATCH Intro 1999 . . .

>Short answer: "Yes"

Thanks. I vaguely remembered a different theme.

[Adam H. Kerman]

Just to appease Ubi, I put the episode title on Subject, even though I
know full well he's not watching.

I just caught a few minutes of this one starting in the middle. I don't
know what's going on. Tarzan was captured. He's being held with a rope
around his neck by a much smaller man holding a rifle. Now, the rope
is short and the barrel is inches away, and since Tarzan is the greatest
fighter in hand-to-hand combat man has ever seen, I have no idea how
he's being held.

Isn't there some rule in pointing guns at someone that if the gun is
within reach of the guy you're pointing it at, that there will be a
struggle for the gun and the guy can possibly take it away from the
one pointing the gun, so it's always necessary to point the gun from
well beyond arm's reach?

For some reason, he wants Tarzan to do his jungle call. We get stock
footage of an elephant stampeded (in Mexico?) The man holding the gun
leaves, Tarzan does exactly the same jungle call; the elephants stop their
stampede, take the first flight out of Mexico City, and return to Africa.

After the second call, Cheetah shows up with a scabbard with arrows, and
a bow. I must have missed scenes earlier in the episode of Cheetah taking
target practice.

Tarzan then flips over a truck with barrels clearly marked "toxic material"
(in English!), and sticks of what I assume are dynmite fall out of a wooden
crate (in closeup, they seem to be carrots). I could have sworn that this
Tarzan was an environmentalist, but he just created a Superfund site.

The bad guy sees large bootprints on the river bank, decides to do a
reverse King Wenceslas; we're in suspense for seconds if Tarzan will
be fooled. Fortunately, some small monkeys up a tree tell Tarzan which
way he went.

Tarzan does a rope swing. They aren't even pretending it's a vine as
they didn't bother to tie any leaves to it.

The bad guy points his weapon at a small monkey; I have no idea why. He
then sees the truck.

Tarzan takes significantly longer to return swinging on ropes than if
he had walked. Hell, he would have had no trouble beating the bad guy
back to the truck. Instead, he gives the bad guy the opportunity to
shoot at him. It's tv, so Tarzan is in no danger even though it's
impossible to miss with a rifle at such a short distance. Tarzan
shoots an arrow at a fallen carrot, er, stick of dynmite, which explodes.

Then it's a fake surrender but the bad guy throws a toxic waste barrel
at Tarzan which, impossibly, isn't leaking, then a chase, then the bad
guy hits Tarzan in the ribs with a large branch that should have broken
some ribs, but there isn't even a bruise and once Tarzan gets up, he's
unfazed. Some climbing up to a platform where more barrels of toxic
materials are stored.

I guess this guy is yet another gold miner, because the fight goes down
a chute.

Tarzan pulls a level which releases black sludge. Is this full of the
toxic material? It knocks out the bad guy but goes right into the river
and Tarzan is close enough, it splashes all over him.

If Tarzan was concerned about contamination, he's done a right good
job of it.

Wow. The sludge is flammable, so it's some sort of petroleum? Tarzan lights
the whole thing on fire.

Tarzan the environmentalist has committed pollution of land, water, and
now air.

In the end, they're swimming in the now thoroughly polluted river, and
Cheetah is fishing on the riverbank.

Even for this series, this particular episode is especially terrible.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <ncmlk7$jqc$3...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> Just to appease Ubi, I put the episode title on Subject, even though I
> know full well he's not watching.
>
> I just caught a few minutes of this one starting in the middle. I don't
> know what's going on. Tarzan was captured. He's being held with a rope
> around his neck by a much smaller man holding a rifle. Now, the rope
> is short and the barrel is inches away, and since Tarzan is the greatest
> fighter in hand-to-hand combat man has ever seen, I have no idea how
> he's being held.

Okay, pulling it up ...
Bad synthesizer theme. Blond Tarzan ... French chick with no bra
SIMON'S JOURNAL, THURSDAY THE 12TH. The river can turn to doom, Tarzan
will have to fight to the death, yadda yadda yadda
Tarzan wakes up, sees elephant playing in mud, vine swings down from the
treehouse to wash Tantor's back. Cheetah sees ... a turtle on a log?
Tarzan shoots an arrow in to the log and drags it to the shore because
.. turtles can't swim? Roger the idiot wants to race the turtles.
Tarzan brings in the turtle on a log ... okay, Jane says it's covered
with oil. There's no oil in the river, just on the turtle. Roger the
idiot says that Simon called and their supplies will be ready tomorrow,
Jane says lets go there now. Jane keeps saying something about the
ocean. Tarzan rides standing in the back of Jane's jeep likes he's the
Grand Marshall of a parade or something. Roger notices the oil has a
gritty residue, unlike the stuff that would come from tankers in the
ocean. It turns out the oil is full of PCPs! This must mean the oil is
coming from upriver!

OF COURSE THE OIL IS COMING FROM UPRIVER YOU IDIOTS! HOW CAN IT BE
COMING FROM DOWNRIVER!!?!?

Tarzan and Cheetah ride Tantor upstream until the water tastes bad. He
finds some kind of rickety installation with a tub of ominous goo.
Houser, returning bad guy, catches Tarzan and .. what the Hell? Houser
reaches into his waistband, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights the
fuse, and throws it at Tarzan!!?!? Really?!!?? This guy just wanders
around with dynamite stuck in his belt?

Tarzan runs away. Now what Tarzan SHOULD have done was run AT Houser.

Dynamite go boom, Tarzan is stunned, face down in the river. Houser
takes his rifle butt and staves in the back of Tarzan's head, just for
good measure.

Commercial.

Tarzan is now captured, rope around neck, gun at back. No explanation
of how he survived being blown up, drowned, and bludgeoned to death.
Looks like this is where you came in.

> He's being held with a rope
> around his neck by a much smaller man holding a rifle. Now, the rope
> is short and the barrel is inches away, and since Tarzan is the greatest
> fighter in hand-to-hand combat man has ever seen, I have no idea how
> he's being held.

And now I'm wondering who would win a fight between Lord Greystoke and
Kwai Chang Caine, who were even temporal contemporaries ...

>
> Isn't there some rule in pointing guns at someone that if the gun is
> within reach of the guy you're pointing it at, that there will be a
> struggle for the gun and the guy can possibly take it away from the
> one pointing the gun, so it's always necessary to point the gun from
> well beyond arm's reach?

And now he's just going to shoot Tarzan. Wouldn't it have been easier
to leave him in the river?

>
> For some reason, he wants Tarzan to do his jungle call.

Actually ... he asks Tarzan if Tarzan has any last words before he
shoots him. Tarzan says 'yes' and does his Carol Burnett impression.

We get stock
> footage of an elephant stampeded (in Mexico?) The man holding the gun
> leaves, Tarzan does exactly the same jungle call; the elephants stop their
> stampede, take the first flight out of Mexico City, and return to Africa.

Actually ... I think that stampede is Indian elephants. Tiny ears.

>
> After the second call, Cheetah shows up with a scabbard with arrows, and
> a bow. I must have missed scenes earlier in the episode of Cheetah taking
> target practice.

Tarzan had the bow when he was blown up drowned and skull caved in.

>
> Tarzan then flips over a truck with barrels clearly marked "toxic material"

By using a log exactly wrong for it to be a lever

> (in English!), and sticks of what I assume are dynmite fall out of a wooden
> crate (in closeup, they seem to be carrots). I could have sworn that this
> Tarzan was an environmentalist, but he just created a Superfund site.

"Now he cannot drive anywhere" - Tarzan no know about keys or
distributor caps.

>
> The bad guy sees large bootprints on the river bank, decides to do a

The bad guy is DRINKING FROM THE RIVER that was so nasty Tarzan had to
spit it out and it makes Tantor scream.

> reverse King Wenceslas; we're in suspense for seconds if Tarzan will
> be fooled. Fortunately, some small monkeys up a tree tell Tarzan which
> way he went.

Um. Yeah. "Tarzan, bad guy walk backwards" causing Tarzan to continue
on IN THE EXACT SAME DIRECTION HE WAS GOING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

>
> Tarzan does a rope swing. They aren't even pretending it's a vine as
> they didn't bother to tie any leaves to it.

heh

>
> The bad guy points his weapon at a small monkey; I have no idea why. He
> then sees the truck.

The small monkeys are tracking the bad guy for Tarzan and making noise
so Tarzan will know where to go. No. Seriously.

Bad guy say "must outthink Tarzan" - audience laugh.

Bad guy go back to truck for dynamite.

>
> Tarzan takes significantly longer to return swinging on ropes than if
> he had walked. Hell, he would have had no trouble beating the bad guy
> back to the truck. Instead, he gives the bad guy the opportunity to
> shoot at him. It's tv, so Tarzan is in no danger even though it's
> impossible to miss with a rifle at such a short distance. Tarzan
> shoots an arrow at a fallen carrot, er, stick of dynmite, which explodes.

yeah, because it's easier to shoot at hidden dynamite in the grass than
at Tarzan as he walks through the grass over the dynamite ...

Okay, I'll buy "dynamite goes off when you shoot it with a rifle" as a
TV Trope, but with an arrow?!!?!? And this guy carries the stuff around
in his pants?!!?!?

>
> Then it's a fake surrender but the bad guy throws a toxic waste barrel
> at Tarzan which, impossibly, isn't leaking, then a chase, then the bad
> guy hits Tarzan in the ribs with a large branch that should have broken
> some ribs, but there isn't even a bruise and once Tarzan gets up, he's
> unfazed. Some climbing up to a platform where more barrels of toxic
> materials are stored.
>
> I guess this guy is yet another gold miner, because the fight goes down
> a chute.

No, he has a contract to dispose of the sludge, and decides it would be
cheaper to dump it in the river here than a couple hundred miles away.
But why open the barrels and dump them in the river at all? Why build a
facility to open the barrels, pour them into a bubbling vat, and
periodically release some into the river?

Over and over Houser knocks Tarzan down and has him helpless and ...
runs away. It's like he's after Vandal Savage or something.

>
> Tarzan pulls a level which releases black sludge. Is this full of the
> toxic material? It knocks out the bad guy but goes right into the river
> and Tarzan is close enough, it splashes all over him.

Yeah, Tarzan just dumped all the toxic sludge in the river.

>
> If Tarzan was concerned about contamination, he's done a right good
> job of it.
>
> Wow. The sludge is flammable, so it's some sort of petroleum? Tarzan lights
> the whole thing on fire.

Because burning sludge is non polluting?

>
> Tarzan the environmentalist has committed pollution of land, water, and
> now air.

Seriously, if that was the answer, why didn't the bad guy just do THAT?

>
> In the end, they're swimming in the now thoroughly polluted river, and
> Cheetah is fishing on the riverbank.

Roger the idiot shows up to tell them that Houser got 5 years and a $50k
fine.

The turtle helps Cheetah fish. Cheetah catches a fish but can't seal
the deal.

>
> Even for this series, this particular episode is especially terrible.

Yeah.

[Adam H. Kerman]

Damn. The first part was much much worse than I had imagined. Thanks
for watching it.

>>He's being held with a rope around his neck by a much smaller man holding
>>a rifle. Now, the rope is short and the barrel is inches away, and since
>>Tarzan is the greatest fighter in hand-to-hand combat man has ever seen,
>>I have no idea how he's being held.

>And now I'm wondering who would win a fight between Lord Greystoke and
>Kwai Chang Caine, who were even temporal contemporaries ...

Hehehe

As they both speak in pregnant pauses, can you imagine how long a
conversation would take?

>>For some reason, he wants Tarzan to do his jungle call.

>Actually ... he asks Tarzan if Tarzan has any last words before he
>shoots him. Tarzan says 'yes' and does his Carol Burnett impression.

Hahahahaha

>>We get stock footage of an elephant stampeded (in Mexico?) The man
>>holding the gun leaves, Tarzan does exactly the same jungle call; the
>>elephants stop their stampede, take the first flight out of Mexico City,
>>and return to Africa.

>Actually ... I think that stampede is Indian elephants. Tiny ears.

I believe you're correct. When I was writing that, I couldn't remember
the rule as to whether Indian or African elephants had larger ears,
something every boy knows. Memory fades, alas.

Is the call some sort of telepathic initiation? How did elephants
know to stampede, as opposed to a whole lot of large New World cats
showing up? Then how did exactly the same call get the elephants to
chill out?

>>After the second call, Cheetah shows up with a scabbard with arrows, and
>>a bow. I must have missed scenes earlier in the episode of Cheetah taking
>>target practice.

>Tarzan had the bow when he was blown up drowned and skull caved in.

Ah. Any particular reason he had armed himself? More often than not,
he's carrying a big knife which is more of a universal tool than a
weapon. He doesn't even seem to carry throwing knives.

>>Tarzan then flips over a truck with barrels clearly marked "toxic material"

>By using a log exactly wrong for it to be a lever

I don't know what he was lifting, but I guess tensing his upper body
was the limit of the effor he was going to put into acting in that epiosde.

>>(in English!), and sticks of what I assume are dynmite fall out of a wooden
>>crate (in closeup, they seem to be carrots). I could have sworn that this
>>Tarzan was an environmentalist, but he just created a Superfund site.

>"Now he cannot drive anywhere" - Tarzan no know about keys or
>distributor caps.

Hahahahaha; none of the Great Apes whose memory he has were an Italian
auto mechanic named Tony...

>>The bad guy sees large bootprints on the river bank, decides to do a

>The bad guy is DRINKING FROM THE RIVER that was so nasty Tarzan had to
>spit it out and it makes Tantor scream.

Hehehehe

>>reverse King Wenceslas; we're in suspense for seconds if Tarzan will
>>be fooled. Fortunately, some small monkeys up a tree tell Tarzan which
>>way he went.

>Um. Yeah. "Tarzan, bad guy walk backwards" causing Tarzan to continue
>on IN THE EXACT SAME DIRECTION HE WAS GOING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Ah, I missed that the director had forgotten to turn Tarzan around. Thanks.

>>Tarzan does a rope swing. They aren't even pretending it's a vine as
>>they didn't bother to tie any leaves to it.

>heh

I really wish they'd made a tiny effort with props. On Ron Ely's show,
I never see them make an effort to disguise the ropes. That was something
they'd been doing on Larson's show, but it's not consistent.

>>The bad guy points his weapon at a small monkey; I have no idea why. He
>>then sees the truck.

>The small monkeys are tracking the bad guy for Tarzan and making noise
>so Tarzan will know where to go. No. Seriously.

Oh. I'm really not missing anything by not understanding much of the
dialogue, am I.

>Bad guy say "must outthink Tarzan" - audience laugh.

hahahaha

>Bad guy go back to truck for dynamite.

>>Tarzan takes significantly longer to return swinging on ropes than if
>>he had walked. Hell, he would have had no trouble beating the bad guy
>>back to the truck. Instead, he gives the bad guy the opportunity to
>>shoot at him. It's tv, so Tarzan is in no danger even though it's
>>impossible to miss with a rifle at such a short distance. Tarzan
>>shoots an arrow at a fallen carrot, er, stick of dynmite, which explodes.

>yeah, because it's easier to shoot at hidden dynamite in the grass than
>at Tarzan as he walks through the grass over the dynamite ...

This one is seriously bad.

>Okay, I'll buy "dynamite goes off when you shoot it with a rifle" as a
>TV Trope, but with an arrow?!!?!? And this guy carries the stuff around
>in his pants?!!?!?

Hahahahahahahahaha

It's not even spoofable.

>>Then it's a fake surrender but the bad guy throws a toxic waste barrel
>>at Tarzan which, impossibly, isn't leaking, then a chase, then the bad
>>guy hits Tarzan in the ribs with a large branch that should have broken
>>some ribs, but there isn't even a bruise and once Tarzan gets up, he's
>>unfazed. Some climbing up to a platform where more barrels of toxic
>>materials are stored.

>>I guess this guy is yet another gold miner, because the fight goes down
>>a chute.

>No, he has a contract to dispose of the sludge, and decides it would be
>cheaper to dump it in the river here than a couple hundred miles away.
>But why open the barrels and dump them in the river at all? Why build a
>facility to open the barrels, pour them into a bubbling vat, and
>periodically release some into the river?

Oh, ok.

>Over and over Houser knocks Tarzan down and has him helpless and ...
>runs away. It's like he's after Vandal Savage or something.

Today's writers only steal from the best of old television.

>>Tarzan pulls a level which releases black sludge. Is this full of the
>>toxic material? It knocks out the bad guy but goes right into the river
>>and Tarzan is close enough, it splashes all over him.

>Yeah, Tarzan just dumped all the toxic sludge in the river.

>>If Tarzan was concerned about contamination, he's done a right good
>>job of it.

>>Wow. The sludge is flammable, so it's some sort of petroleum? Tarzan lights
>>the whole thing on fire.

>Because burning sludge is non polluting?

>>Tarzan the environmentalist has committed pollution of land, water, and
>>now air.

>Seriously, if that was the answer, why didn't the bad guy just do THAT?

I know. There was just another episode in which contaminated waste from
gold sifting from the very same river was poisoning the big New World cats.

>Roger the idiot shows up to tell them that Houser got 5 years and a $50k
>fine.

Thanks

I can't imagine what he spent on motor fuel to truck the waste deep
into the jungle.

[anim8rfsk]

In article <ncmugm$7is$2...@news.albasani.net>,

So you wouldn't have to!

>
> >>He's being held with a rope around his neck by a much smaller man holding
> >>a rifle. Now, the rope is short and the barrel is inches away, and since
> >>Tarzan is the greatest fighter in hand-to-hand combat man has ever seen,
> >>I have no idea how he's being held.
>
> >And now I'm wondering who would win a fight between Lord Greystoke and
> >Kwai Chang Caine, who were even temporal contemporaries ...
>
> Hehehe
>
> As they both speak in pregnant pauses, can you imagine how long a
> conversation would take?

Yikes

>
> >>For some reason, he wants Tarzan to do his jungle call.
>
> >Actually ... he asks Tarzan if Tarzan has any last words before he
> >shoots him. Tarzan says 'yes' and does his Carol Burnett impression.
>
> Hahahahaha
>
> >>We get stock footage of an elephant stampeded (in Mexico?) The man
> >>holding the gun leaves, Tarzan does exactly the same jungle call; the
> >>elephants stop their stampede, take the first flight out of Mexico City,
> >>and return to Africa.
>
> >Actually ... I think that stampede is Indian elephants. Tiny ears.
>
> I believe you're correct. When I was writing that, I couldn't remember
> the rule as to whether Indian or African elephants had larger ears,
> something every boy knows. Memory fades, alas.
>
> Is the call some sort of telepathic initiation? How did elephants
> know to stampede, as opposed to a whole lot of large New World cats
> showing up? Then how did exactly the same call get the elephants to
> chill out?

It's just all purpose. Yeah, telepathy is one possibility. Or tiny
changes so nuanced as to be imperceptible to human ears.

How do all animals everywhere know them though?

>
> >>After the second call, Cheetah shows up with a scabbard with arrows, and
> >>a bow. I must have missed scenes earlier in the episode of Cheetah taking
> >>target practice.
>
> >Tarzan had the bow when he was blown up drowned and skull caved in.
>
> Ah. Any particular reason he had armed himself? More often than not,
> he's carrying a big knife which is more of a universal tool than a
> weapon. He doesn't even seem to carry throwing knives.

He was going after the toxic waste dumpers.

>
> >>Tarzan then flips over a truck with barrels clearly marked "toxic material"
>
> >By using a log exactly wrong for it to be a lever
>
> I don't know what he was lifting, but I guess tensing his upper body
> was the limit of the effor he was going to put into acting in that epiosde.

LOL, yeah, they rather conspicuously didn't show where that log *went*

>
> >>(in English!), and sticks of what I assume are dynmite fall out of a wooden
> >>crate (in closeup, they seem to be carrots). I could have sworn that this
> >>Tarzan was an environmentalist, but he just created a Superfund site.
>
> >"Now he cannot drive anywhere" - Tarzan no know about keys or
> >distributor caps.
>
> Hahahahaha; none of the Great Apes whose memory he has were an Italian
> auto mechanic named Tony...
>
> >>The bad guy sees large bootprints on the river bank, decides to do a
>
> >The bad guy is DRINKING FROM THE RIVER that was so nasty Tarzan had to
> >spit it out and it makes Tantor scream.
>
> Hehehehe
>
> >>reverse King Wenceslas; we're in suspense for seconds if Tarzan will
> >>be fooled. Fortunately, some small monkeys up a tree tell Tarzan which
> >>way he went.
>
> >Um. Yeah. "Tarzan, bad guy walk backwards" causing Tarzan to continue
> >on IN THE EXACT SAME DIRECTION HE WAS GOING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>
> Ah, I missed that the director had forgotten to turn Tarzan around. Thanks.

:)

>
> >>Tarzan does a rope swing. They aren't even pretending it's a vine as
> >>they didn't bother to tie any leaves to it.
>
> >heh
>
> I really wish they'd made a tiny effort with props. On Ron Ely's show,
> I never see them make an effort to disguise the ropes. That was something
> they'd been doing on Larson's show, but it's not consistent.
>
> >>The bad guy points his weapon at a small monkey; I have no idea why. He
> >>then sees the truck.
>
> >The small monkeys are tracking the bad guy for Tarzan and making noise
> >so Tarzan will know where to go. No. Seriously.
>
> Oh. I'm really not missing anything by not understanding much of the
> dialogue, am I.

Just the plot.

So, 'no'

>
> >Bad guy say "must outthink Tarzan" - audience laugh.
>
> hahahaha
>
> >Bad guy go back to truck for dynamite.
>
> >>Tarzan takes significantly longer to return swinging on ropes than if
> >>he had walked. Hell, he would have had no trouble beating the bad guy
> >>back to the truck. Instead, he gives the bad guy the opportunity to
> >>shoot at him. It's tv, so Tarzan is in no danger even though it's
> >>impossible to miss with a rifle at such a short distance. Tarzan
> >>shoots an arrow at a fallen carrot, er, stick of dynmite, which explodes.
>
> >yeah, because it's easier to shoot at hidden dynamite in the grass than
> >at Tarzan as he walks through the grass over the dynamite ...
>
> This one is seriously bad.
>
> >Okay, I'll buy "dynamite goes off when you shoot it with a rifle" as a
> >TV Trope, but with an arrow?!!?!? And this guy carries the stuff around
> >in his pants?!!?!?
>
> Hahahahahahahahaha
>
> It's not even spoofable.

It's not even *fun* - it was great fun when James West did it.

>
> >>Then it's a fake surrender but the bad guy throws a toxic waste barrel
> >>at Tarzan which, impossibly, isn't leaking, then a chase, then the bad
> >>guy hits Tarzan in the ribs with a large branch that should have broken
> >>some ribs, but there isn't even a bruise and once Tarzan gets up, he's
> >>unfazed. Some climbing up to a platform where more barrels of toxic
> >>materials are stored.
>
> >>I guess this guy is yet another gold miner, because the fight goes down
> >>a chute.
>
> >No, he has a contract to dispose of the sludge, and decides it would be
> >cheaper to dump it in the river here than a couple hundred miles away.
> >But why open the barrels and dump them in the river at all? Why build a
> >facility to open the barrels, pour them into a bubbling vat, and
> >periodically release some into the river?
>
> Oh, ok.
>
> >Over and over Houser knocks Tarzan down and has him helpless and ...
> >runs away. It's like he's after Vandal Savage or something.
>
> Today's writers only steal from the best of old television.

And the chocolate milk comes out the nose.

>
> >>Tarzan pulls a level which releases black sludge. Is this full of the
> >>toxic material? It knocks out the bad guy but goes right into the river
> >>and Tarzan is close enough, it splashes all over him.
>
> >Yeah, Tarzan just dumped all the toxic sludge in the river.
>
> >>If Tarzan was concerned about contamination, he's done a right good
> >>job of it.
>
> >>Wow. The sludge is flammable, so it's some sort of petroleum? Tarzan lights
> >>the whole thing on fire.
>
> >Because burning sludge is non polluting?
>
> >>Tarzan the environmentalist has committed pollution of land, water, and
> >>now air.
>
> >Seriously, if that was the answer, why didn't the bad guy just do THAT?
>
> I know. There was just another episode in which contaminated waste from
> gold sifting from the very same river was poisoning the big New World cats.

Yeah, 'cause he was dumping the mercury in the river. I bet huge
quantities of mercury cost damn near as much as gold ...

>
> >Roger the idiot shows up to tell them that Houser got 5 years and a $50k
> >fine.
>
> Thanks
>
> I can't imagine what he spent on motor fuel to truck the waste deep
> into the jungle.

I tried to wank this plot but I couldn't. I was wondering why he didn't
just dump the barrels over the nearest ravine, but then I thought he
didn't want to get caught, but after dumping them in the river, he's
still got to get rid of the barrels themselves ... why not dump them in
deep water? I mean, there's some approved dump he's supposed to take
them to, so he's gonna get found out no matter what.

[Adam H. Kerman]

anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:
>>anim8rfsk <anim...@cox.net> wrote:
>>>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>Damn. The first part was much much worse than I had imagined. Thanks
>>for watching it.

>So you wouldn't have to!

Middleman!

We've get to get Ian to make the sacrifice.

>>Is the call some sort of telepathic initiation? How did elephants
>>know to stampede, as opposed to a whole lot of large New World cats
>>showing up? Then how did exactly the same call get the elephants to
>>chill out?

>It's just all purpose. Yeah, telepathy is one possibility. Or tiny
>changes so nuanced as to be imperceptible to human ears.

>How do all animals everywhere know them though?

Tarzan couldn't possibly have met them all.

>>>Over and over Houser knocks Tarzan down and has him helpless and ...
>>>runs away. It's like he's after Vandal Savage or something.

>>Today's writers only steal from the best of old television.

>And the chocolate milk comes out the nose.

Hehehe

[Adam H. Kerman]

"Tarzan & the Killer Lion"

I didn't get much out of this one. There was something wrong with the
broadcast and the picture was choppy. Production number 106, aired 9th.
TeleXitos aired it after most of the other first season episodes aired;
no clue what order they are using.

An attractive young woman comes to the jungle, Joanne Vannicola (is the
character Nikki?). IMDb sez she's from Montreal. She has a lot of credits
but I've never heard of her; a lot of kids shows recently.

She flies in, but her small plane loses power and she crashes. She
hits her head but it doesn't leave a mark; Tarzan rescues her from the
burning plane. She clutches a duffel bag as Tarzan drags her out.

Tarzan had been beside the river talking to a lion. When she recovers,
she sees the same lion watching them.

She takes an automatic or semi-auto hand-held weapon out of the duffel
bag; shoots plenty of rounds per minute. Cheetah sees her, but doesn't
tell Tarzan. Cheetah even grabs one of the bullets, which she manages to
dump on the ground before loading the clip. The dropped bullet seems to
be a plot point; maybe Tarzan will shoot it with an arrow?

She has a plaster cast of a lion's paw print with her. She spots a lion's
paw print on the beach. I guess Tarzan confirms it's a lion. I have no
idea how she got it in her head that it's the same lion.

For no reason I can fathom, she starts a brush fire, and drops her cheap
lighter for Tarzan to find later. This is the crisis that leads to the
middle commercial break. Tarzan and Jane try to put it out. For some
reason, Cheetah finds it necessary to walk into the center of it.
Even though he could just climb a tree and leave, Tarzan has to climb
the tree, then swoop down to rescue Cheetah, put Cheetah in the tree,
then walk through the flames, kind of a bad idea in your bare skin.
Tarzan is unharmed.

Simon tells Tarzan and Jane the back story, that he had driven in some
guy (I assume it's her father) to photograph a caged lion. Simon played
with ropes attached to the cage, letting the lion out. The lion ate
her father. For some reason, she only wants to shoot the lion and not Simon.

She pursues the lion again, Tarzan chases her, does the Tarzan cry.
I have no idea why. Is it to alert the lion? Well, the lion didn't run off,
just looked over his right shoulder. Nikki shoots ahead of the lion for
reasons that aren't clear, then doesn't kill him. She shoots behind him.
She fires off a lot of shots but then it jams. With the weapon she brought,
it's impossible not to kill with it, but it was made by the same company
that made the fire that Tarzan walked through without getting burned.

The lion is now annoyed and runs toward her, a completely different lion
in the stock footage. She runs away (no longer holding the weapon),
Tarzan still runs toward her. Unlike Cheetah, she figures out that she
must climb a tree. Now we have a third lion, obviously younger and with
a much larger mane, pawing at her in the tree, trying to climb up and
get her. Instead of continuing to climb till she has a safe perch, she
stops climbing and stands on a tree limb on a knot in a precarious perch.

Tarzan heroically runs across a field. Hey! His ridiculous long blond hair
is flowing wildly!

Tarzan arrives, instructing the lion to leave her alone. The lion leaves.
With a stern look on his face, Tarzan helps her out of the tree and then
comforts her.

Roger spends the entire episode unloading wood from a truck while an
elephant looks over his shoulder and criticizes. It's apparently humorous.

[Ubiquitous]

In article <ncojtb$fl6$1...@news.albasani.net>, a...@chinet.com wrote:

>"Tarzan & the Killer Lion"
>
>I didn't get much out of this one. There was something wrong with the
>broadcast and the picture was choppy. Production number 106, aired 9th.
>TeleXitos aired it after most of the other first season episodes aired;
>no clue what order they are using.
>
>An attractive young woman comes to the jungle, Joanne Vannicola (is the

>character Nikki?). She flies in, but her small plane loses power and she

Perhaps she is toying with her prey, but being a lion it has no idea what is
going, let alone going to beg for mecry.

>The lion is now annoyed and runs toward her, a completely different lion
>in the stock footage. She runs away (no longer holding the weapon),
>Tarzan still runs toward her. Unlike Cheetah, she figures out that she
>must climb a tree. Now we have a third lion, obviously younger and with
>a much larger mane, pawing at her in the tree, trying to climb up and
>get her. Instead of continuing to climb till she has a safe perch, she
>stops climbing and stands on a tree limb on a knot in a precarious perch.
>
>Tarzan heroically runs across a field. Hey! His ridiculous long blond hair
>is flowing wildly!
>
>Tarzan arrives, instructing the lion to leave her alone. The lion leaves.
>With a stern look on his face, Tarzan helps her out of the tree and then
>comforts her.

This ep sounds like a very lame VSE about revenge.

--
The Establishment GOP is in trouble for the same reason Chipotle is in
trouble. They were making their customers sick.

[Ubiquitous]

anim...@cox.net wrote:
> "Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>> Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>> > a...@chinet.com wrote:

Wow, I had totally forgotten about that!

[Ian J. Ball]

In article <ncojtb$fl6$1...@news.albasani.net>,

"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

> "Tarzan & the Killer Lion"
>
> I didn't get much out of this one. There was something wrong with the
> broadcast and the picture was choppy. Production number 106, aired 9th.
> TeleXitos aired it after most of the other first season episodes aired;
> no clue what order they are using.

Just curious - how do you know the prod. no. is #106 for this one?


Ian (Also, where the hell are you viewing these episodes at?!)

--
"Shall we sit and ponder the futility of caring?" - Morotia M. Black (aka.
Riley Matthews), "Girl Meets Yearbook", "Girl Meets World" (08-07-2015)

[Adam H. Kerman]

"Tarzan & the Orphan" production number 118, aired 9th in US syndication
according to epguides with TeleXitos still running them in yet another
order.

Jane shows up to see Tarzan getting his morning exercise, crocodile
wrestling. They encounter an orphaned lion cub. Tarzan decides to
put it in a burlap bag. Human contact with lion cubs tends to ruin
their wild nature, leaving them unable to care for themselves (except
in Born Free), while they're still dangerous to humans when they grow
beyond the adorable stage.

They take the cub back to camp and put it in an enclosure surrounded by
sticks that are just a couple feet tall. Huh? I'm not even sure it would
have contained an active human child.

Jane's mothering instincts kick in.

Roger and Cheetah play chess, apparently humor.

In the next scene, Tarzan rides in on an elephant, then climbs down because
Cheetah signalled him. Cheetah points out something in the grass that
Tarzan bends down to smell. I have a feeling that I know what it is,
although the description in French is undoubtably elegant.

Back at camp, the chess tournemant continues. Tarzan spots a lioness in the
distance. Will this get melodramatic, with Jane and the lioness fighting
to control the cub? Tarzan picks up something off a broad-leaved plant,
then brings it to the food preparation table.

Cheetah concedes the game, but while Roger is away, Jane makes a proper
move for Cheetah.

Tarzan seems to have talked Jane out of raising the cub. He puts the cub
in a leather knapsack (not a burlap bag this time) and carries it behind
his back toward a pride of lions. No clue as to how Tarzan determined these
lions wouldn't reject the cub. Several females eye them (in stock footage).

Whatever Tarzan made from the substance left on the plant, Jane dabs it
on the cub's head. The cub and a lioness (no idea if it's the one from
the earlier scene) walk toward each other warrily. Oh, happy days: the
lioness accepts the cub. I hope the substance wasn't droppings from the
lioness to make the cub smell right, because Tarzan really shouldn't have
prepared that on the food preparation table, yuch.

I guess this was a decent episode for this series, but the nature stuff
was probably as realistic as a Disney nature film from the '60s.

[Adam H. Kerman]

Ian J. Ball <ijball-...@mac.invalid> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman" <a...@chinet.com> wrote:

>>"Tarzan & the Killer Lion"

>>I didn't get much out of this one. There was something wrong with the
>>broadcast and the picture was choppy. Production number 106, aired 9th.
>>TeleXitos aired it after most of the other first season episodes aired;
>>no clue what order they are using.

>Just curious - how do you know the prod. no. is #106 for this one?

In the closing titles (in English!), one of the title cards has the episode
name and production number. epguides has episode name, airing order and
dates of first-run US syndication, and production order. Thus far, epguides
matches what's shown on the episode.

As it's a foreign program, it's unusual for epguides to list US airing
order and air dates, but they didn't track down anything else. They should
have used air dates for France or Canada, or even Mexico.

>Ian (Also, where the hell are you viewing these episodes at?!)

TeleXitos, which had been Telefutura. It's likely a subchannel on your
Telemundo affiliate or O&O. It's better in Spanish.

[Ubiquitous]

In article <ncosh0$lq$1...@news.albasani.net>, a...@chinet.com wrote:

>"Tarzan & the Orphan" production number 118, aired 9th in US syndication
>according to epguides with TeleXitos still running them in yet another
>order.
>
>Jane shows up to see Tarzan getting his morning exercise, crocodile
>wrestling. They encounter an orphaned lion cub. Tarzan decides to
>put it in a burlap bag. Human contact with lion cubs tends to ruin
>their wild nature, leaving them unable to care for themselves (except
>in Born Free), while they're still dangerous to humans when they grow
>beyond the adorable stage.
>
>They take the cub back to camp and put it in an enclosure surrounded by
>sticks that are just a couple feet tall. Huh? I'm not even sure it would
>have contained an active human child.
>
>Jane's mothering instincts kick in.

Oh, did she try to breastfeed it?

[Adam H. Kerman]

Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
>In article <ncosh0$lq$1...@news.albasani.net>, a...@chinet.com wrote:
>
>>"Tarzan & the Orphan" production number 118, aired 9th in US syndication
>>according to epguides with TeleXitos still running them in yet another
>>order.
>>
>>Jane shows up to see Tarzan getting his morning exercise, crocodile
>>wrestling. They encounter an orphaned lion cub. Tarzan decides to
>>put it in a burlap bag. Human contact with lion cubs tends to ruin
>>their wild nature, leaving them unable to care for themselves (except
>>in Born Free), while they're still dangerous to humans when they grow
>>beyond the adorable stage.
>>
>>They take the cub back to camp and put it in an enclosure surrounded by
>>sticks that are just a couple feet tall. Huh? I'm not even sure it would
>>have contained an active human child.
>>
>>Jane's mothering instincts kick in.
>
>Oh, did she try to breastfeed it?

Ouch!