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WTN Update for Friday, 5 March, 1999.

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Anita Belanger

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Mar 7, 1999, 3:00:00 AM3/7/99
to CorrieWTN
Due to shitty weather in this region last week, my cable cut out on
Wednesday of this week so I was unable to record (or see) that day's
episode. Please address all complaints to the feckin' groundhog who, it
turns out, is not such a reliable furry little weather prophet after
all!

WTN Update for Friday, 5 March.
Episode 3237 - Original air date: 10 June 1991.

I missed the first few minutes of this episode, owing to a certain
little person who likes to hide things on me. She was using the remote
control for the VCR in a manner for which it was never intended and by
the time I found it, the show was already in progress!

In the Barneses back yard, Des and Percy are surveying the damage from
the boat fiasco of the previous day. Des remarks that Mavis is a "highly
emotional person", which sentiment draws ready assent from Percy.

At Ingrams, Mike wanders into Jackies office in search of coffee. She
expresses her concern that he drinks too much of the stuff, that and
scotch, when hes under stress. He brushes off her concern, telling her
that alcohol and caffeine cancel each other out, a "well known medical
fact!" He is worried about what effect the recession may have on
business but Jackies mind is on wedding plans. They talk at cross
purposes for a few minutes before Mike goes off to attend a meeting with
some "union blokes", leaving her to "handle" the arrangements for the
wedding!

In the Rovers, Alec is philosophising to Ken about Gods bias against
humans, as evidenced by the fact that He created nature more perfectly
than He did man. When Ken spots Derek with a long face, Alec tells him
about Des boat crashing into the Wiltons yard. Ken thinks the Wiltons
might claim the boat as marine salvage and Alec wastes no time in
passing this on to Derek. Derek is skeptical until Ken explains that
they could use the boat as leverage to get compensation from the
Barneses. Derek brightens at this thought and decides to celebrate with
a scotch.

In the cafe, Martin and Gail are working together as Alma is away on
vacation. (Who is minding the kids?) Gail tells Martin she isnt so much
worried about Audreh as she is mad at her. She reckons Audreh is playing
games again. Martin wonders if the timing of Audrehs flit and Almas
vacation isnt more than coincidental but Gail doesnt think so.

The phone rings and its Audreh. She has taken a suite at a five star
hotel and just wants to let Gail know that she is alright. Gail asks the
name of the hotel but Audreh refuses to say as she doesnt want Alf to
know. She pauses before asking Gail whether Alf is upset about her being
gone. Gail is incredulous at the question. "Of course hes upset!"
Audreh suggests that hes probably not so upset that he didnt open the
shop today and Gail reluctantly concedes that Alf is in fact open for
business. Gail pleads with her mother to come home before its too late
but Audreh declines on the grounds that Alf needs to be taught a lesson;
he needs to get his priorities straight! She sulks momentarily before
ringing off to go to lunch.

In the Kabin, Mavis ruminates about the bad luck she and Derek have
endured since moving to their house. Rita is startled to hear she now
blames the house as not long ago, she was saying that she and Derek were
an unlucky union! Mavis is not amused at Ritas joking banter that the
Wiltons ought to be pleased to have a boat in their back garden, a
status symbol to most. In comes Derek, bursting to tell Mavis that their
predicament is the hot topic of conversation at the Rovers. Mavis is
upset at the news - she feels they are being made a laughing stock once
again. Derek assures her that Ken Barlow offered a solution in all
sincerity - they should claim salvage rights. Mavis doesnt see this as
a solution at all. She thinks Ken must have been laughing up his sleeve
when he made the suggestion and anyway, she doesnt want a boat in her
garden. She wants a garden, not a marina!

Ivy turns up for her shift at the corner shop to find Alf in a
melancholy state as he has had no word from Audreh...

In the Rovers again, Audrehs flit is being discussed by Alec, Don and
Jim while Betty looks on. Alecs take: "Us men place ourselves in
terrible jeopardy." He receives ready agreement from the men but Betty
stays in the background and silently rolls her eyes. They discuss their
thankless lot in life, trying to keep their womenfolk happy. Betty can
no longer keep quiet. Fed up, she throws in her two pennies worth (that
they are all full of sh*t, basically) before stalking off to resume her
duties, leaving the men to wonder what her problem is.

Gail has hurried to the corner shop to let Alf know that shes heard
from her mum. Alf, far from being relieved at the news, demands to know
where she is and what she thinks shes playing at. Gail helplessly tells
him the little bit she knows, that Audrehs staying in a five star hotel
but wouldnt say where. She tries to console Alf by reminding him that
she cant stay away too long as her money is bound to run out. Alf
shouts that Audreh wont be needing money - she has flippin credit
cards!

Meanwhile, Audreh is, at this moment, licking her wounds in the hotels
spa. As she sits in the whirlpool, another woman introduces herself as
"Avril" and tries to make chit-chat. Audreh smiles wanly as Avril
chatters about her membership and the enjoyment she derives from coming
here, but declines to give any details about herself. We can see that
Audrehs not having quite as good a time as she would like. Could it be
shes really worried about the prospect of losing Alfeh?

The Wiltons are now home and awaiting a visit from the Barneses. Derek
has shut the drapes so that they cant see the boat and assures Mavis
that he has left a note for Des to come over and speak to them as soon
as he arrives home. He urges Mavis to keep cool about the situation but
she vents her spleen, saying that just knowing "it" is there upsets her.
"Its there - a great monstrosity - throbbing, pulsating!" (LOL)
Sympathetically, if vainly, Derek makes a plea for no "hysterical
fantasies". (LOL!!!!!) They hear their neighbours arrive home and a
minute later, the doorbell rings. Steph and Des are ushered in and
unthinking, Des remarks on the Wiltons curtains being closed on such a
lovely day.

As the four settle down to discuss the matter, Des begins by saying that
the "bloke with the crane" has promised to come by the weekend to remove
the boat. He also assures the Wiltons that they are willing to
compensate for any damages. Mavis says that she hopes "blokes with
cranes" are more reliable than builders, as one can spend months waiting
for *them* to keep their promises! The remark is not wasted on Steph,
whose father built the units that the Barneses and the Wiltons live in.
Mavis continues by saying she expects compensation for her shrubs, their
fence and the new sun lounger and Derek points out that there is the
question of "mental damages" too. As Derek hands over his bill, Mavis
mentions that they expect to receive compensation for loss of amenities,
too, such as loss of the use of their garden.

Des is staggered when he sees the bill - 850!!! Derek pleads for calm
and reason, saying that the amount includes "emotional trauma". Steph
snaps that emotional trauma is nothing new for Mavis and Derek! Derek
offers that there is some scope for bargaining, say 50 or so, but Des
is still adamant - there is no way hes going to cough up anything like
800 quid! Derek pulls out all the stops and threatens marine salvage as
a last resort. Des is not moved. As he and Steph head for the door, he
angrily invites Derek and Mavis to enjoy their new boat and suggests
that they use Dereks bill as a sail!

As the door slams behind them, Mavis lights into Derek for bringing up
the question of salvage. Now theyll never be rid of the boat!

Pam Conway guest appeared as Audrehs companion in the whirlpool, Avril.
This episode written by Leslie Duxbury

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