B&B: 7/11, 7/12 updates

[James G. Acker]

A two-for-one for this week (and somehow, pairs of
things seem quite appropriate for this particularly
titillating pair of episodes on "The Bold and the Full of
Breasts All Over the Place":

covering the episodes which occurred on Monday, July
11, and Tuesday, July 12, 1994:

What I remember happening on Monday:

GETTING TO KNOW FOOLS

Brooke and James consider the dilemma of what to do
about the other man in their relationship -- Daddy Ridge.
Brooke does not like to have continuing animosity between
two of the men she has most enjoyed entertaining in the heat
of passion. How can they get along better? After all,
they're going to be a big, happy, twisted, complicated
family in a little while. James comes up with a novel idea
-- group sex. Realizing that B&B is still a bit
conservative for that to work, he comes up with another
idea. Let's just go out together and be friends. A
double-dip? Brooke asks. Well, considering the level of
intelligence, that's possible, but I was thinking of a
double date. Oh, yeah, right, that's what I meant, Brooke
intelligently observes. But she thinks Ridge has not been
in dating mode for quite awhile, considering that women were
throwing their nubile bodies at his proverbial and connubial
feet. James believes that Ridge is capable of getting a
date, and asks Brooke to ask him to join them in an evening
of frolic. Brooke says don't forget the massage oil, and
they exchange witty pleasantries about how much they like
each other. One of the other themes of this conversation
was whether or not Ridge was right that James was rebounding
from Taylor with Brooke. James says no way, how could
anybody not fall head over organ in love with Brooke when in
her nubile presence. Brooke observes that it would be quite
difficult not to. Osculatory exeunt.

GETTING HER HOPES, AND WHAT ELSE, UP?

A perturbed AA enters the home of Connor, who's working
at home. AA perturbingly wants to tell Connor about
something that's disturbing him. He's feeling perturbed
that Connor encouraged Macy's pipe dream of singing in the
rain for her supper. Something like that. Connor says he
just told her that Don "no more jokes about his name"
Navarone was a talent scout for a major label -- Campbell's
Soup. AA says he's in hot water for encouraging her --
plus, he seems to have been giving her a lot of
"encouragement" lately, too. (He noticed!) AA wants to
know if Connor has designs on his woman. Connor says no
way, you're the designer, and furthermore, he'd never sneak
around behind his back. Directly in front of him, maybe.
AA just doesn't want Macy to get her hopes dashed and have
to be picked up off the floor again. Connor points out that
Macy is a mature, voluptuous, comely, entrancing, nice,
sexually appealing, delightful package, and... and what was
I going to say? Oh yeah, she can make her own decisions.
AA doesn't really like the idea of Macy making her own
decisions. What a bacon breath, eh?

MAKING HER OWN DECISIONS

Macy's at the Bikini, and gets visited by Don
"Provolone" Navarone (I lied). She wants to know more about
her chances. One in a million, Navarone says. But with her
talent, one in a thousand. With her looks, one in 600.
With a decent band, one in 300. With a demo and some
promotion, one in 100. After that, it's pure payola and
bribery, er, luck. Don says he's the big cheese if she
wants to go for it. After some hesitation, Macy decides to
make the initial attempt. Don says meet me at the studio
and we'll work on a demo. Bring your checkbook -- good bass
men don't come cheap. It surprises Macy that she's footing
the bill and singing the C- (not to mention do, re, mi, fa,
so, la, and ti) notes too. Don says if you believe in
yourself, you invest in yourself. T-bills are safer.

RUTS AND OTHER STRANGERS

Ridge is at Forrester, when RHONDA (yes, THE Rhonda,
but with lighter, shorter hair, making a facial recognition
uncertain, but a half-body shot indicated this could only be
THE Rhonda) magically appears. She wants to know what Ridge
has been doing with himself. Let me rephrase that. She
diagnoses that Ridge is suffering from post-traumatic loss
syndrome, and should be Getting Out More. Ridge thinks "I
wish I wish just getting more," but Rhonda reads his mind
and says I know just what you need. A date, with me as the
first in line to be asked. Ridge says "Date? Do people
still do that?" but Rhonda says he needs fun, fun, fun,
until Daddy lets the T-bills mature, at which point she will
worship him with her disrobed body. Think about it, O.K.?
Rhonda clears.
Brooke appears. She tells Ridge that James suggested
they get to know each other on a double-date, but since
Ridge _doesn't_ date, he can be a third wheel. Ridge says
he's already got a date. Brooke is perturbed and disturbed.
Who's this? Rhonda. Rhonda who? I Rhonda who's kissing
her now? (Old joke.) Anyways, Brooke wants to know all
about this Rhonda, but Ridge says wait for the date. A
perturbed Brooke leaves, and Ridge is thoughtful on Brooke's
obvious perturbationness.

Now on to Two-for, and Two More, and the More Two, the
Merrier, Tuesday:

THE COLDER THE FOLDER GETS, THE OLDER WE'LL BE

The peripatetic James is now with Stephanie. He
reports on his attempt to look at Dr. Garvin's reports.
They were sealed, but he did see a property list of the
names in the "demented" file. Sheila's folder wasn't there.
It's been stolen!! Stephanie deduces. Not certainly, James
says, but likely. Still, Lt. Burke thinks Garvin might not
have made notes on Sheila considering their short
professional acquaintance. James doubts it. Stephanie
wants to know if he'll continue to probe the psyche of
Sheila once he's married to Brooke. It might be hard, James
says. James! Stephanie say, shocked. No, it might be a
little more difficult, but he'll continue to aid her in
getting to the bottom of Sheila. Now, I've got a 4th of
July celebration to get to, he says. Brooke is wearing
sparklers. Stephanie understands.

WHERE THERE'S A WILL, SOMETHING'S IN THE WAY

At the office, Mike wants to know if Sheila found out
whether or not she'll be fixed for life if Eric's happens to
end suddenly. She consulted a Connor lawyer. Brooke's
former fling? The same. But he can't know for sure until
he looks over a copy of the will. Whatchagonnado'boutthat?
Mike asks. Ask Eric to see it, Sheila says serenely.
Sheila heads over to Eric's office. Something
important on her mind. Eric says me too. He's been
thinking about her, and the marriage, and the divorce thing.
Other people don't know how kind and wonderful she is. She
needs to get out more and see the family more and be known
as a kind and wonderful person. (Funny dialogue, knowing
the real Sheila.) Sheila doesn't see how. Go out, get to
know more people. Eric's concerned that Stephanie has such
a low opinion of Sheila -- in fact, she even suggested that
he might be in danger! from Sheila. It's not like you're
coming around asking to see a copy of my will now, is it?
Now, what was on your mind? Stymied, Sheila says she wanted
to know if he preferred escargot or burgers to go for
dinner. Eric says hot, wet, and garlicky is fine. Sheila
leaves, and mutters under her breath in the hall.
Back in the office with foot-on-the-desk Mike, Sheila
tells the Dim Bulb that she couldn't get the will because of
Steph's insinuations. She'll have to do it another way, and
she's got a plan (sneaky smile...)

SPEAKING OF THEM THAR CALIFORNIA GIRLS

Jessica is in the bedroom, in suit and coverup. Thorne
calls on the intercom and asks where she is -- we're
waiting! Jessica wants to know who we is? Just a couple of
friends. C'mon down! Jessica heads on down.
Thorne wishes Jessica a happy Fourth du July, and then
shows that he's invited all the hard bodies from Forrester,
including some bikini-clad lovelies. And Dylan. Jessica
eyes her. Ivana eyes Dylan. Thorne eyes Coco (Butter.
AD). I eyes the TV. Volleyball and BBQ ensue, even Maria,
who would more appropriately celebrate Cinco de Mayo, is
there.
Jessica eyes Dylan and Ivana exchanging banter, and
worries. Sly sidles up to Jessica and invites her to spike
his balls -- in the volleyball game. Jessica declines in
order to apply sunscreen. Sly goes to hit a few.
Dylan says hello and sits down. Jessica lets slip that
her 17th birthday is soon. Dylan says she should get a
date. That's a good idea! Jessica says. With who? But
Keith interrupts and invites Dylan into the pool. They
male-bond, Keith doffs shirt, and they splash.
While in the water, Sly, who lost in the game, sits
back with the not-really-into-the-party-mode Jessica (who is
in a demure one-piece though, having removed the cover-up).
Sly asks if she's got a date for her 17th, and if not, can
he be the one? Jessica's attempt to hold off the hungry
cradle-robber don't work, and she accepts. Bad move, babe.

Meanwhile, back upstairs, Ridge stops by. James left,
right? Whatever direction, he was leaving, Stephanie says.
This gets Ridge into a self-flagellation mode, and he
discusses all the tough things that have happened to him
this year -- losing Taylor, almost losing Bridget, James
bopping and hopping with Brooke. Life is too short to let
it pass by, and Ridge vows that he'll never lose Bridget.
Ever. Stephanie is supportive, and suggests Ridge go down
and join the party. On the balcony, even the enticing
display of model-quality skin doesn't bring Ridge down, but
after further consideration, he decides to have some fun.
Stephanie tells him to keep his hands off the models. Ridge
explains that if he designed the swimsuit, he has to make
certain it fits, right?

Tune in tomorrow, when Coco says:

"Yes, Ridge, it fits fine. Would you like to see how
easily it slides off my nubile body?"

to which Ridge replies

"No thanks, I've got a date with RHONDA."

===============================================
| James G. Acker |
| REPLY TO: jga...@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov |
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