ATWT: 3rd Mon. Update, 5/18/98, pt. 2
Shawn Hill
part two of the
CHANNELER SURFIN' THIRD MONDAY UPDATE
for ATWT
on Monday 5/18/98
Remeber, before MID-WHIRL Lilly was freaking, Carly was fuming, David was twirling
his imaginary mustachios, and Kirk was squirming.
GRUESOME FOURSOME
Everyone's awkward as the non-lovers attempt to chat, until Jack notices Carly's
heart monitor. Hal explains that she's fine, and (rubbing it in) so is the baby.
JJ/LL shows up, sans glasses (and looking like someone who normally wears them; I'm
afraid she's going to start bumping into things), in a nice black dress, her hair
done, makeup, the works. Hal is gleeful at the sight of her, but a certain perky
blonde quickly becomes Snarly.
WHERE OH WHERE HAS OUR MARGONE?
Juicy is busy ripping Ramirez (I guess) a new one. He must be a detective now,
because he's out of uniform and in a suit. There were no good prints on the clown
mask, and he tries to fob her off with the lame excuse that it's untraceable
because there are hundreds of dimestore clown masks in circulation. Hundreds,
Ramirez? Oakridge must be a pretty fun town. Juicy as usual insists that the law
act as her own personal security force, and demands Margo's immediate presence.
Ramirez escapes on a pretext (after assuring her that the Lilypad grounds are being
searched), leaving the Sisters Walsh and Markham to turn on Kirk with a shrillion
questions. Kirk has changed into nice casual attire from the clown get-up of part
one. Kirk, FLASHING BACK (remember, it's "Misty Water-Colored Memories" Day in
Oakdale; everyone's having as many as possible) to Molly's frightening near-nude
lip-crushing attack, stalls that he can't remember what happened.
Line of the Day to Juicy: Clear your vision, clown!
A VALETTA, A DEVIL, A SHREW
David's devious plans will all result in him getting his hands on all of Lucinda's
assets. Finally he'll have that mansion on "Ruxton Hill." You know, this kind of
dialogue used to work for me when it was baby JohnnyD doing it, but ADIDAS is no
JohnnyD. Molly lisps and flutters and seems to be all in favor of proving tedious
to Juicy, but makes the mistake of mentioning the E-word (Emily, sadly absent from
today's shenanigans -- I don't know how it happened, but KMH has become one of my
favorite actresses on the show). David storms out in what passes for a snit.
Molly's still weaving around in nothing but a man's jacket, btw. Get some clothes
on and get some self-respect, girl!!
THEY DO MAKE HOUSECALLS, DON'T THEY?
Mystery Dr. Samuels fill-in finds that Lily has elevated blood pressure, but the
pain was just one contraction brought on by stress. Both she and the baby are
fine. Holden is very attentive, and Lily declares that this ordeal has actually
given her new strength. Her strategy now (which Holden of course must instantly
adopt) is to "not let David get to them." IE, denial is not just a river in
Oakheights. It's either wish him away, or somehow get a written confession. You
can see the wheels slowly grind to a start in Holden's [half-a] mind at her words.
She goes up to bed, while he strides off purposefully. I'd be scared, except
Holden getting mad always makes me want to just give him a cookie and pat him on
the head.
JJ APPARENTLY THINKS THEY REALLY ARE AT A NICE RESTAURANT
Overdressed JJ also comments on Snarly's halter heart monitor, but Carly growls
that she's just fine, and more worried about her baby's health than whether it
matches her attire (which, btw, it does; she's in grey and white, it's black,
problem solved). Hal happily accepts JJ's suggestion of dinner together, almost
daring Carly to say no.
FOGGY FOGGY NIGHT OF ABSENT MOTIVATIONS
Holden, pretending to be both devious and smart (leave these tactics to the
experts, UncleCousinFarmboy) shows up and tricks Molly (oh, okay, her IQ is
probably lower than yours actually) into giving away David's role in the
KreepyKlown surprise. He leads her to believe that the cops are on the way, so,
like a loyal little accomplice, she flees. Next on Holden's To Do list: ADIDAS.
And he brought a gun (?!).
BLOATED AT THE BAR
JJ orders meatloaf with spuds and gravy, and Hal bullies Carly into having the
same. Conversation turns to Jack's return to work, which, says Jack, may not be
happening.
THE OFFICE HE IS AVOIDING
Kirk is b-s-ing bigtime about being attacked by Bane from the last (dreadful)
Batman movie, sumo wrestled to a pulp, stuffed in a burlap sack, thrown around --
yadda yadda yadda, nobody buys it but SlowScam. This girl couldn't steal a
painting these days if Lucinda handed one to her. Scam surprises everyone with the
Falcon Club security tape which will prove Kirk's telling the truth (not). Molly
inexplicably walks in just then (she ran from the police to their homebase?),
finally dressed in a tacky (but at least decent) white suit, to watch Kirk sweating
it big time. The poor hapless man.
LILYPAD
Lily and Emma worry and try to console each other. DilEmma rules, as always!
THE HATE BOAT
David comes into the darkened Falcon Club office in search of Molly, but finds
instead Clint Snyder, I mean Holden. Mucho macho staring ensues.
So, basically, a passable show, with Lily doing the best work and everyone else
trying to cope with how lame the current crop of super-villains really is. A Miss
Annie Dutton Lewis, or even a Dinah Marler Thorpe, are not to be found among these
fake baddy two-shoes.
Psychic Shawn
FAC Babs
Keeper of the ATWT FAC List
>>>>>>>>>>*<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>*<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>
Emily: You better catch me if I fall.
Margo: I will catch you like a superhero.
*<<<<*>>>>*<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>*<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>*<<<<<<<<
sh...@fas.harvard.edu Shawn Hill