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MiSTing: ABYSS Posts [2/2]

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Chris Mayfield

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Apr 6, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/6/95
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[continued from part 1]
>
>*Apocalypse can be killed*
>
>You can kill Externals bye "severing the five limbs"

Crow: Mike, what=D5s the fifth limb?
Mike: Hush, child.

> or something
>like that. So I guess that is what happened to Candra and
>Gidieon!
>
>ABYSS: Aint no bloodin' Ain't no crippin'

Tom: Someone ought to gangbang this guy.

>
>*How many times do I have to Say Rex=3DComcast??!!!*
>
>Rex is Comcast of the executive elite. They have similar powers.
>If you don't belive me then wait a while, I'm pretty sure I'll
>have my big chance to say I told you so!!!

Mike: This guy must have graduated at the Alexander Abian school
of Hypothesis Supporting.
Tom: But he doesn=D5t have any support.
Mike: Exactly.

>
>*LISTEN Reread it The black guy wasn't nightthrasher*
>
>Re read the X-men issue. The Black guy was at the Hellfire clubs
>party to join the new inner circle. Why would Night Thrasher
>have a racist chip on his shoulder towards Arcangel? Night
>Thrasher is the most racially un-angry blackman

Mike: Harry Blackman? The ex-Supreme Court justice?
Tom: That=D5s Blackmun.

> in comics! It
>could be one of the Bedlams. But it definately was not night
>Thrasher. I am positive time will prove me right!
>
>ABYSS: He who reigns forever; reigns like badweather; and is way
>too big for his britches!
>
>*POKKY used to be flesh and blood once in X-force*

Tom: That was Apocalypse then, this is Apocalypse now.
Crow: [Sheen] Colonel Abyss was close.

>
>In a pre Phalanx X-force issue, the Externals came and talked to
>Sam about the Legacy virus

Mike: Sam, your biopsy came back. I=D5m afraid it=D5s the Legacy
virus.
Tom: [announcer] Did Zero give Douglock the cure for the Legacy
Virus? Will Gambit win the love of Rogue? And what of Guido=D5s
heart attack? Find out tomorrow on All My Summers Children.

> and they told of Apocalypses first
>meeting with the External Saul in which he found the celestial
>ship. He walked into the ship flesh adn blood and no one ever
>saw him come out.

Crow: Apocalypses check in but they don=D5t check out.

> It is assumed that he came out in his current
>techno-organic form.
>
>ABYSS: he who reigns forever; reigns like bad weather; and is
>way too big for his britches!
>
>*All new theory why Damask may be Margali!*
>
>Well it is kinda weak but aren't the writers trying

Crow: [Scottish] I=D5m tryin=D5 captin, but th=D5 plot holes are too
large! I dinnae ken how much longer this post kin take!
Mike: That=D5s two Scottie jokes in one post. Is that allowed?

> as much as
>possible to keep the characters in AoA books close to their
>normal counterparts? Well since Margali is a major character in
>Excalibur (she is Night Crawlers foster mother and she is the
>current holder of the soul sword) wouldn't the writers keep her
>in X-Calibre.
>
>Works for me.
>
>ABYSS: (all new)

Crow: But hardly improved.

> Master of Foreverpast; Father to Dayspring son
>of the Morning Fire and Brother of the Tomorrow killer!

Tom: Keeper of the Geodesic Nucleus.

>
>*Re: Blood Syndicate Vs. X-Men*
>
>HTG: can't leave off Tech-9's powers . He can shoot gunfire
>from any gun that he is holding

Mike: All he has to do is pull the trigger!
Crow: Amazing!

> without having to ever reload!
>The X-men are smarter so they would probably win the fight! But
>the Blood Syndicatewould give them pure hell.

Crow: Or, at the very least, 99 and 44/100 % pure hell.

> I would say that
>the Blood Syndicate could take out a few of the X-men

Tom: Go to a movie, eat out, treat them really nice.

>permanently during the fight. also.

Mike: flag. on. the. moon.

>
>*From now on ABYSS is simply Mr. Sinister*
>
> Thank you Brain....

Tom: For finally kicking in.
Crow: That=D5s probably too much to hope for.

> I think actually Sinister is one of my all
>time favorite villains. I think that I will cnange my new alias
>to Mr. Sinister.
>
>*Re: I agree totally Locus is Probably Ilyanna*
>
>I agree with you dude

Tom: I AGRE3 W1TH YUU DUDE!!1!! ABYYSS 1S REELLY K00L!!1
Mike: Please don=D5t ever do that again.

> even though I think that bringing Ilyanna
>back as Locus is a stupid Idea. It makes perfect sense though
>that Locus is Ilyanna so they brought her back in an X-force
>book!
>
>Mr. Sinister : (Haven't thought of any thing nasty enough to put
>here)

Crow: How about something about fleas in your [Mike grabs beak]

>
>*Sinister is the nastiest Villain in AoA I like him!*
>
>Can anybody nama

Tom: I can=D5t.
Crow: I can=D5t either.

> a villain more dispicable than the AoA Sinister?

Tom: Do Republicans count?

>Even though I would more than happily dish out $1.95 plus tax

Mike: You big spender, you.
> to
>see this villain beaten utterly and begging for his life just
>once, you still gotta love his nastiness. It caught me right in
>the gut

Crow: And tore out my entrails in a bloody explosion of sinew and
flesh.

> when Sinister killed both Brute and Forge! I don't care
>who beats him as long as he is defeated. I would rather see
>Apocalypse do it than X-man because Apocalypse would make it
>messy!

Tom: I see Abyss=D5 association with Mr. Sinister as a severe sort
of transference. In associating with him (using him as an alias)
and then expressing a desire to see him severely injured, killed
even, I see this as a sign of Abyss=D5 deep seated desire to be
punished, no doubt due to an inferiority complex relating to the
fact that his mother never really loved him.
Crow: I disagree. Obviously, these bad postings are an attention
getting device, devised to make up for a lack of positive rein-
forcement as a young child, i.e. his mother never really loved
him.
Mike: What if he=D5s just an idiot...whose mother never really
loved him?

> Well now that we know Mr. Sinister's real name, that he's
>an External, and what the heck he's been up too for the past two
>hundred years, maybe Marvel will use him more in normal
>continuity. I like his new costume too. He has to be the
>snazziest dresser in AoA!

Mike: He shops at the Boutique at the end of the Universe.
Tom: Sinister=D5s suits are made from Rumplon (tm).

> I don't think that he has ever been
>defeated truly. But what villain has? But any way in X-men 23
>he told Cyclops that his eye beams can't hurt him and neither can
>any physical attack! When Cylops repleid

Mike: Forever...Replaid
Tom: That was weak.

> that it worked the last
>time I nailed you, Sinister told him that it was a ruse to trick
>the X-men because he wasn't ready to face them then. Personally
>I think that the only way to hurt him is with a mental attack!

Mike: It looks like Mr. Sinister is safe from Abyss.
Crow: But Abyss is Mr. Sinister now.
Mike: I know, but =D2It looks like Mr. Sinister is safe from Mr.
Sinister=D3 doesn=D5t sound as good.

>
>Since the Brain nominated me to be Mr. Sinister then that's what
>I'm changing my nick too!

Crow: [Pinky] What are we going to do tonight, Brain?
Tom: [Brain] The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to
make sense of Abyss=D5 posts.

>Mr. Sinister : (still coming up with a dispicable quote worthy of
>Sinister to put here!)
>
>*Notice plot similarities in Star Trek and X-men*
>
>Me and my StarTrek buddy were sitting around talking about
>StarTrek and X-men when we discovered some plot similarities.

Tom: The total disregard for physics?
Crow: The complete lack of continuity?
Mike: Bossy bald guys?

>The most noticeable and the only one that I can remember at the
>time is about the Phalanx and the Borg.
>
>Phalanx are a tecnoorganic phalanx

Mike: I am redundant and repetitive and redundant.

> of human minds. They are each
>like nerves of a body who communicate with the central mind more
>or less.

Crow: In Abyss=D5 case, it would be less.

> The Phalanx want to assimilate all teh known universe.
>
>I'm no Trekker but I think the Borg are some kind of StarTrek
>version of techno organic. Each member of the Borg acks

Crow: [coughing] Ack! Ack!
Tom: It=D5s Billy and the Borgers.

> like a
>nerve of the central body. And they want to assimilate the whole
>universe of something like that.
>
>We found many other similarities between X-men and Startrek.

Mike: They told me about this guy named Ratliff.

> I
>will post some more after I consult with my Trekker associate.
>Can anybody else think of some more.
>
>Mr. Sisister:

Crow: Sissy-ster, Sissy-ster! Whatcha gonna do baby, cry?
Tom: Mom! Make him stop!

> (still thinking of what to put here)
>
>*Re: Another Rex theory*
>
>Ok Tain: I've said it before that I think Rex is Comcast.
>Comcast has a pretty useless power when it comes to fighting.

Crow: [Brit] It=D5s Bicycle Repair Man!

> He
>can pick up any transmission on the planet.

Mike: Including the ones from the aliens who are trying to take
over my mind.

> This power would be
>very useful to Apocalypse for spying purposes.

Tom: Forget spying! This guy can pick up the Playboy channel!

> Even though
>Apocalypse is busy trying to take over the world, he still needs
>a secretary like it or not. It would be akward to have one of
>his powerful horsemen as a secretary.

Mike: War, take a memo.

> I can't see Holocost or
>Sinister handling secretarial duties. So he gets

Tom: Ann Sothers!
Crow: How does a 1928 Porter take dictation?

> Rex to do it.
>Come to think about it Comcast was fairly impostant in the normal
>continuity. Whe Banshee blew up the Professors ready room a lot
>of information was lost to professor Xavier. The only way to
>regain this information is through Comcast who without knowing it
>downloaded all of this information into his brain!

Tom: Keanu Reeves is Johnny Mneumonic.

> Like Bishop
>said this makes him a very dangerous man. This all took place in
>an issue of Uncanny after the Phalanx crossover.
>
>Well what do you think?

Crow: Sirs?

>
>Mr. Sinister: (I finally found a decent quote! I just have to
>bring it to the comp. lab next time!)
>
>*Re: Rachel Summers question*
>
>Rachels dead dead dead!

Mike: Alien vampire flonk flonk flonk!
Tom: Barney die die die!
Crow: French captain borg borg borg!

> or about as dead as some can be in
>Marvel. She died in book four of Cyclops and Phoenix. She was
>in a comma

Crow: Held in parenthesis.

> for a buch of years and she died gracefully.
>
>Mr. Sinister: I leave you with what you left me -- a livetime
>of guilt, self-hatred, confusion, and despair.

Tom: And a fifty thousand a year allowance.

>
>Enjoy...
>
>*Re: Legacy Virus*
>
>Yeah sure Douglock is the key (I'm being sarcastic).

Mike: This week=D5s Dave Berry is for the Humor Impaired.
Crow: (He=D5s not making this up.)

> yeah I read
>the Excaliburs but they also said that Cable might be the key in
>X-men 30 I believe in a letter form

Tom: Have you opened your heart to Stationary?

> Moira to Charles. But I'm
>still holding out for Beast to find the cure as hinted in Stryfes
>Strike File! That would rule!
>
>Mr. Sinister: Indeed, you are the architect of my body and soul,
>the sculptor of my sins.

Tom: Obviously one of Frank Lloyd Wright=D5s less impressive works.

>
>*Re: Is Angel an Alpha ???*
>
>Chinh,
>Alphas are mutants who don't just have power, but have it in
>excess! Like psi's of the first order and such. I figure that
>they have natually atletic bodies(most of them) because of their
>mutant genes also.

Crow: Is that why every woman in comics looks like Kathy Ireland?

> In Weapon X #3 some AoA revers scanned
>Weapon X and figured that he was an Alpha because the protein
>readings went off the scale!

Tom: Wolverine, packed with protein and 12 essential vitamins.

> Apocalypse calls Angel and Alpha
>because he is a true survivor and this makes him fit in
>Apocalypses definition. Remember Apocalypse had designs on Angel
>even in normal contiuity.

Tom: He had =D2dibs.=D3

> I think it has something to do with
>Angel being able to fly and Apocalypse not being able to do so
>even with all of his power.

Crow: He=D5s really impressed by a character with possibly the
dumbest mutant ability ever, excluding Forearm.

> I just think Angel is one of Pokky's
>fav'rites.
>
>Mr. Sinister: I leave you with your heart's greatest desire.

All: Waffles!

>
>*ABBYS had a good point about REX =3D Comcast*
>
>From: Multiple Maniac <bio...@bayou.uh.edu>

Tom: Hey! It=D5s someone else!
[all cheer]

>Date: 30 Mar 1995 21:12:53 GMT
>Organization: University of Houston
>Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.xbooks
>
>
> Not that I owe any aligence to him even though

Mike: He is the nation of my birthplace.

> we go to the
>same college, and I happen to know him from our Honors English
>discussion group,

Mike: Abyss is in Honors English?
Crow: I have lost my faith in the American educational system.

> but he did have a good point. I remember
>reading that Comcast contains all of the information that the X-
>men lost when Banshee blew up Professor X's Danger room.

Mike: You should really expect things like this to happen when
you store things in the =D2Danger Room.=D3

> It
>makes a lot of since for Apocalypse to have Comcast around as a
>sort of secretarial flunky. Any good mad would-be-world
>conqueror needs some one to yell at and threaten if he gets
>upset.

All: Fraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank! [sob]

> According to Comcasts power he could not exactly be a
>horseman, because he has very little fighting ability

Crow: Incredible alphabetizing powers!
Mike: Ability to communicate with French onion soup!
Tom: Really bendy thumb!

> if any at
>all.
>
>To go off on a tangent about that ABYSS guy. He is impetuous,
>loud, some times obnoxious,

Crow: But only when he=D5s conscious.

> and very emotional. However,
>during our discussions in class he does come up with new and
>enlightening lessons and points from the antiquites we have read.

Mike: What if Hamlet was a mutant, and his father was actually a
disembodied psionic impression?

>No he didn't pay me to right this.

Tom: He threatened my life.

>
>Sincerely longtime lurker
>Multiple Maniac : I cried when Jamie died....

Mike: Me too. Maaaaaaaaaaadroooooooooooooox!
Crow: Are you finished?
Mike: Yeah.

[exit]

[6...5...4...3...2...1...]

Tom: Mike, explain college to us.

Crow: Yeah. College seems to be a pretty expensive step on the
road to a position as an Arby=D5s fry cook.

Mike: People don=D5t go to college to become fry cooks. They go to
better themselves intellectually and to prepare themselves for a
career.

Tom: But what about Abyss?

Crow: And Ratliff?

Mike: Admittedly, there are a few people who don=D5t seem to be
getting all they could out of the college experience.

Crow: Does the college experience include getting drunk and
waking up in the middle of the road with a German shepherd in a
French maid costume?

Mike: Only if it=D5s a liberal arts college. What do you think,
sirs?

[Deep 13]

Dr. F: Very amusing, but I=D5ve got other things to attend to. I=D5m
getting ready to see one of the applicants for Frank=D5s position.
He should be here any minute now. [door chime] Ah, there he is.

[Goes over to the door and opens it. In walks Mr. B Natural.]

Mr. B: I=D5ve come to awaken the music in YOU!

Dr. F: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

\ | /
\ | /
---0---
/ | \
/ | \

fwshhhh

Mr. B: Is that a clarinet in your pocket...

Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters, situations, and
merchandise are copyright 1994 Best Brains, Inc. This MSTing is
not authorized, endorsed, or supported by anyone. Not intended as
an attack on anyone's beliefs. This article may be freely distri-
buted as long as this notice remains intact.

MiSTed by Chris Mayfield, camf...@iastate.edu

>Get lost! Go! Leave! Get somewhere

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