-----
******opening credits******
1..2..3..4..5..6..*
[Satellite of Love. The lights are turned down low and candles are
spread around the room. Mike, Crow, and Gypsy are sitting around Tom
watching him.]
[Mike turns toward Cambot.]
Mike: (whispering) Hello everyone, and welcome to the Satellite of Love.
Today, Tom is experimenting with channeling. We all have to be
quite and let him concentrate.
[Mike turns back towards Tom.]
Tom: Spirits of the otherworld, feel free to inhabit my body and impart
your wisdom to us mere mortals.
Crow: Tom, we're robots, we're not exactly mortal.
Tom: (annoyed) Will you just be quiet.
Crow: Sorry.
Tom: Spirits, please ignore my unenlightned friend here, come and impart
your wisdom.
[Tom starts shaking]
Tom: I can feel it, I can feel it.
[Tom suddenly snap up straight]
Tom: (very metallic voice) Exterminate! Exterminate!
Mike: He's channeled a Dalek!
[Commercial sign flashes. Tom runs amuck around the room]
Tom: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Crow: Ah, Mike, we've got commercial sign.
Mike: We'll be right back.
******Commercials******
[SOL: Tom sits calmly on the table, with a dent in his head. Crow is
holding a baseball bat, and Mike is getting a replacement head
out of a box.]
Crow: Hey, that was fun.
Tom: Fun for you maybe. You didn't get your head beat in.
Crow: You were trying to kill me!
Tom: Only because you deserve it. Anyway, it wasn't me.
Mike: Relax, guys. I'm going to fix your head Tom, but no more channeling
for you, young man.
Tom: Don't worry, all this psychic stuff gives me a head ache.
[Crow winces and threatens to hit Tom again. Mike stops them and replaces
Tom's dented head.]
Mike: All right, that's enough out of you two.
[Mad light flashes]
Mike: Oh, Mad Dog and Glory are calling.
[Presses Button]
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Ah, Nelson. Why don't you go ahead with your invention exchange.
[SOL: A box sits on the table]
Mike: Ok, what with all Tom's experiments with channeling lately I decided
to build this.
[Mike removes the box to reveal a pyramid with two dials and a digital
display.]
Mike: It's the past life clock/radio. It plays the radio stations you would
have listened to in your past lives, if they'd had any.
Tom: Yeah, it really gives new meaning to the term oldies station.
[Mike places his hand on the back of the pyramid and turns one of the knobs.]
Radio: So keep that dial right here on WEGP, all Egypt, all the time.
[Mike turns the knob again.]
Radio: Your listening to KALL covering the entire Fertile Crescent, all of
know civilization.
[Mike turns the knob AGAIN.]
Radio: And now you know, the rest of the story.
[Mike pulls his hand off the pyramid]
Crow: Wow, he IS old.
[Mad light flashes, Mike presses it.]
Frank: I wonder if it has a snooze bar?
Dr. F: Just go get the invention exchange.
[Frank moves off-camera]
Dr. F: For centuries mystics have told us about the mysterious Third Eye.
I, Dr. Clayton Forrester, have come up with a scientific solution
to harnessing this ability.
[Frank walks back in holding something resembling the front of an eye.]
Frank: We call it the Third Eye Piece.
Dr. F: It's very technical, so I won't try to explain it to you.
[Dr. F takes the eye from Frank]
Dr. F: This is just the prototype, the finished product will be surgically
implanted so that anyone can see auras. For now however...
[Dr. F shows a nail sticking out of the flat back of the eye. He reaches
off camera and gets a hammer. He then "attaches" the Third Eye Piece to
Frank's forehead.]
Dr. F: So, what do you see Frank?
[Frank has blood running into his eyes.]
Frank: Steve, you look all red! It really works, wow!
[Frank collapses]
Dr. F: Anyway, your post for today is Ashtar Update. It appears to be some
sort of channeling session. It reads like it was translated from
German one word at a time. I hope it hurts.
[SOL: Movie Sign]
ALL: WE'VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!
6..5..4..3..2..1..
[Theater]
>Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
Crow: Oh, the Alien's are coming by for dinner tonight.
>Path:xanth.cs.odu.edu!concert!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!news.duke.edu!eff!
>news.kei.com!uhog.mit.edu!news.mtholyoke.edu!world!snet
>From: sn...@world.std.com
Mike: There is a site for Sexually Transmitted Diseases?
Tom: Yep, and you have to pay for them.
Mike: The net sure is a strange place.
> (Glenda M Stocks)
Tom: Available on NASDAQ.
>Subject: Ashtar Update 01
Crow: NO! Not Ishtar!
Mike: It's ok Crow, it's Ashtar, not Ishtar.
Tom: That's better?
>Message-ID: <Cts5I...@world.std.com>
>Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
>Date: Sun, 31 Jul 1994 01:01:40 GMT
>Lines: 398
Crow: Operators are standing by.
>5/07/94
>
>ASHTAR COMMAND - NEWS FLASH
Mike: Hardly late breaking, is it?
Tom: Netlag maybe?
Mike: 3 months of netlag?
Tom: It could happen.
>ASHTAR CHANNELLED BY - DANA SUMMER
Crow: Music by Danny Elfman.
>ASHTAR: Hi ....
>
>CASSANDRA: How are you?
Mike: Bored stiff. And you?
>ASHTAR: Mmm, low key at the beginnings of these channels.
Tom: (low voice) La,la,la,la.
>CASSANDRA: You have to get worked up, huh?
>
>ASHTAR: Just hang on a minute .......
>
>CASSANDRA: One of your minutes or one of ours?
Crow: Or a football minute?
Mike: Or a basketball minute?
>TAISS: Welcome back.
Tom: To Win, Lose or Draw.
>ASHTAR: (smiling) Hmm....
>
>GLENN: How does the wine taste?
Tom: Hey, it The Amazing Colossal Man!
>ASHTAR: Well the actual ...... the wine, mmm, it's very nice,
>thankyou. Umm, no, I had to bridge,
Crow: My cards.
> um, certain ....... there's a
>lot of interference ... in telepathic transmissions at the moment.
>Our telepathic transmissions are being decreased.
ALL: YEA!!
>TAISS: Why's that?
Mike: Cable is getting too expensive.
>ASHTAR: Um, because we're planning to actually contact the planet
>directly. So it means we'll be .... into receiving
>telecommunications around the planet grid. Soon.
>
>TAISS: Satellite grid?
Tom: You know, like chicken wire.
>ASHTAR: Mm, hmn.
>
>CASSANDRA: Now to start off on a light note, welcome to this haven
>in this not so havenish planet...
Tom: What, they're IN the planet?
>ASHTAR: Hmph.
Mike: (in motherly tone) Don't you "Hmph" me young man.
>CASSANDRA: And I'd like to know why the greys are hanging around
>this house.
>
>ASHTAR: Well, you already know the answer to that one.
Mike: Lack of proper hygiene.
>CASSANDRA: I'd like an expansion on it please.
Tom: Fourier or Taylor?
>ASHTAR: Mm..
>
>TAISS: Well, you know why we want you to speak with us. Basically we
>would like an answer.
Crow: Oh, is that all, 42.
>ASHTAR: Well, the greys are a genetic creation of the beings called
>the Illuminati who were actually physical when first coming to this
>planet.
ALL: (singing) Let's get physical, physical.
> And within the Fourth Dimensional aspects of their mind ,
>they separated, they managed to decode
Tom: They were UUENCODED?
> and separate themselves from
>the physical, in fact.
Tom: As well as fiction.
> The greys are that aspect of themselves.
>
>Now, with the closure of the ruling parties
Crow: And the onset of an election year.
> or the hierarchy of this
>dimension, the fourth dimension, which they were embodied or I would
>say, yes, embodied in, have actually been processed by the greys
>themselves, on a level, the only level which is a sort of like a
>robotic level.
'Bots: Cool!
> They do have a consciousness to a degree and a very
>amazing capacity for science.
Mike: Since the latter doesn't imply the former.
> So, therefore, they basically were
>created for a specific focus in a physical reality between the third
>and fourth realities.
Crow: So they're basically the halftime show?
>The Iluminati became more concentrated on controlling through the
>mental or non-physical spheres for obtaining power.
Tom: Like the Internet.
> And focusing
>that power from higher realms again, which was the hierarchy which
>has been sacked.
Mike: And the quarterback is down.
> So that they could actually- it's a little bit like
>leveraging out in a - let's say in an office situation,
All: In an office situation.
> where each
>person has a special job to do, this is the way they created this
>structure.
Tom: They're not so smart, they still have a bureaucracy.
>Now that all those have gone, the greys are basically left with
>nothing to do, but wonder what in hell's going on.
Mike: Oh, they are watching Comedy Central.
> They do not have
>the capacity to understand what's going on,
Mike: Sorta like us, i guess.
> nor were they ever meant
>to. But the thing about their ships is that in the cores of the
>greys ,
Crow: Are creamy nougat centers.
> everything that has been done on this planet has actually
>been encoded into the cores of each of the ships that they build.
>Now most of these cores have actually been accessed so that there is
>a central core being their basis, but now they're all been accessed
>and dismantled.
>
>The greys are, actually, were,
Tom: Make that "will be."
> focused on this place because of the
>enormous amount of light emanating,
Crow: (yelling) TURN OUT THAT LIGHT!
> but also on another level they
>were , as you said, lacking direction.
>
>CASSANDRA: So, what specifically, do they expect us to give them?
>Direction?
Crow: No, Zima.
>ASHTAR: Guidance.
Mike: Oh, directionS?
> See we've had a major deal going on here,
Tom: (as a hippie) But the cops busted it up, man.
> that
>they are to go to the light, but because we can't communicate with
>them on a physical level, they are actually looking towards the
>Third Dimension,
Mike: Silly greys.
> which they are very adapted to, in order to find
>someone to give them some direction.
Crow: They're just looking for a gas station.
> Now within the Third
>dimensional reality there is nobody here that has been in a
>situation to focus on them to give any directions because it's
>always come from a higher level within the fourth dimension, whether
>it be responsible or irresponsible.
>
>So there were times when the greys were not always malevolent. They
>actually got worse, like everything else.
Crow: You know: hunger, disease, sitcoms.
> But the thing is that they
>were created for a specific purpose and that purpose is now
>redundant.
Tom: Again?
> So, their focus has been, because of this particular
>ground control,
Tom: So this is the FAA's fault?
> they are very, very focused on this, and we've not
>interfered in that , purely because we have desired further
>assistance from you on that level.
Crow: And because we are lazy.
>Also I have been very aware of the object of trying to focus this
>liaison. But it's not for them ultimately, to have guidance from
>you,
Mike: So, are they supposed to help, or not?
> It's ultimately to get some sort of decision grounded.
>
>TAISS: So, what does that basically mean for us?
>
>ASHTAR: Nothing more than that.
Tom: (upset) More that WHAT? You haven't said anything!
>CASSANDRA: Ground a decision, sort of?
>
>ASHTAR: Mm..
Tom:(stereotypical indian voice) This one live.
Mike&Crow: What?!?
Tom: It's obscure.
>CASSANDRA: So, what do we get out of it?
Mike: Maybe Ashtar will go away.
>ASHTAR: Well, what do you want?
Crow: Well...
Mike: Quiet Crow.
Crow: I was going to say RAM chips!
Mike: Sure you were.
>CASSANDRA: Money.
>
>ASHTAR: All right.
>
>CASSANDRA: Something that we can have here meanwhile. Can they
>organize that for us physically?
>
>ASHTAR: Just hang on a minute... the answer is yes.
Tom:(deep voice) Answer unclear, ask again later.
>CASSANDRA: Because I'm not directing this question at you, I'm
>directing it at them.
Mike: I know you don't know anything.
>ASHTAR: Yes, I'm aware of that. I know, because we've not been able
>to access this physical world in the way we've desired and wanted
>to, but ,we can't manipulate it to the degree the Greys can.
Mike: What, suddenly it's a proper noun?
> The
>fact is that the way they've been coming to the house is in a
>projected form anyway. The way I see it is that they are not allowed
>to come near the house on energetic terms. You are being protected
>from that. You have been receiving a hologramic
Crow: Hey! That's not a word. Is it?
Tom: Not according to Webster's New World Dictionary.
Mike: Thank you, Mr. Data.
> insert of their
>appearance. We also control the amount of energy and light by which
>you see them.
Tom: We control the horizontal, we control the vertical.
> This is totally focused under very strict guidelines.
>
>So what Merlin channeled through is correct.
Mike: He sent us an FTD pick-me-up bouquet.
> They have actually come
>to you for guidance. This is true. But not in the way that you
>think.
ALL: (evil laughter)
> The previous system has been broken down altogether i.e., If
>they wanted to receive further instructions by which to start more
>scientific research or whatever it is or more information about
>technology etc.
Tom: They would have to apply for an NSF grant like everyone else.
> No more interference or exchange of information with
>world powers on any level from ET's.
Crow: Good, I hate Entertainment Tonight.
> They've been told this. They
>know what's happening and you will get proof of this in no uncertain
>terms.
Mike: I think.
>Because you are very very focused from World Powers. You are being
>focused more and more by the Secret services around the World;
Tom: Not that you'd know about them.
>specifically yourselves. Anything you put on the Bulletin
>Boards/Grids around the planet will be scrutinized.
Crow: Hey Mike, they know about us.
Mike: Scary, huh?
> We have a lot of
>protection in that area and also we're not so concerned about their
>reaction apart from the fact that they want more information.
>
>As the vibration of the planet increases so does the knowledge. The
>understanding of the star seeds will also increase.
Tom: Wait, will the star seeds understand more, or will we understand
the star seeds?
> There is an
>enormous push through and we are just on the verge of breaking
>through that membrane
Crow: Hey, that's dirty.
> of interference which is falling; It's coming
>down now. I'd say give us another five days and we'll have a lot of
>information coming through the media.
Mike: Is that where "Encounters" came from?
>There is a lot of push out there to have stuff exposed.
Crow: Yes!
Mike: And you were just calling THEM dirty.
> The actual
>focus to stop it through the media systems and the
>government/bureaucracy is being pushed to release more and more
>information. In another way the actual bureaucracy have a lot of
>people from our side starting to wake up
Tom: People in the government waking up? Get real.
> and are allowing stuff to
>slip through. There is a lot of subtle sabotage going on now; they
>are realizing now that this is dumb to withhold information.
Mike: Especially when they could be spreading disinformation instead.
>CASSANDRA: So in regards to the Greys, they basically feel safer to
>get guidance from us to guide them to you, rather than anywhere
>else.
Tom: Well, that's the end of the Greys.
>ASHTAR: Well, the way we work, as you know, is we've always seeked
>permission to ground any grounding.
Mike: And to repeat any redundancies.
> To change any focus on this
>planet's surface we seek permission. Because it is an act of
>interference by which we have to abide by.
Tom: So, they have a non-non-interference policy?
> Or fortunately, whatever
>way you want to look at it. And they focus on you because they
>realize consciously that you are aware and awake about what they are
>doing. That's been not the case for 36,000 years.
Crow: Yeah, you weren't even born yet.
> It's a pretty
>major step. That is one of the main reasons why they are so
>intrigued. They knew you wiped out their hierarchy.
Mike: And they want blood.
> So the fact is
>they would have to focus on you. We took the initiative with
>yourselves of course to ground them in the same situation as Quarto.
ALL: Of the hill people!
>So in order to release the negative aspect we have to have
>permission in order to release it. Now that we've had permission to
>release the Greys from their burden, which they don't recognize as a
>burden,
Crow: Is it really work if you enjoy it?
> we've had to have permission and you gave us that
>permission.
Mike: You had to get permission to get permission?
Tom: It's sorta like Congress.
> We know what to do on an energetic level with them, to
>take them back to the Light.
>
>CASSANDRA: I'd like to know what effect the meteors are having on
>the atmosphere.
>
>ASHTAR: We've had a lot of debris coming in on the planet and we
>expect a major meteor hit within the next two days... and this
>meteor hit is approaching in fragments, so about the biggest will be
>a quarter of a kilometer across. By the time it hits the surface it
>won't be terribly effective I suppose it depends where it is. The
>fact is that Jupiter
Crow: The god or the planet?
> is now receiving a lot of information in
>regards to the energetics coming through, so the human race is
>starting to shake at the knees.
Tom: We're all becoming Torgo?
> So you're going to notice it on the
>energy, people are going to be more disjointed. Slightly off to the
>center.
Crow: Come along children, we're off to the center.
> You're going to notice it on the street, We're protecting
>yourselves as much as we can. You'll notice that they'll be looking
>off-side.
Mike: I guess they need sideline coaching.
> It's almost like they're not quite walking straight down
>the street.
Crow: They get the funniest looks, from everyone they meet.
> There are a lot of aspects about it that are
>unpredictable as you know.
>
>This is a time by which the bible speaks of judgment. The concept of
>judgment is coming into being now, so by the end of this weekend the
>concept of judgment day will be energetically will be in full
>process.
Crow: Just in time for the Simpson trial.
> You are not going to be in any doubt.
Mike: Are you sure?
>TAISS: What would the effect on Jupiter be on a physical level?
>
>ASHTAR: It would be like a thunderstorm.
Tom: Only different.
> It will be dispersed in the
>outer atmosphere. It won't even touch the surface or the core. On a
>third dimensional level it will shatter the surface.
Mike: That's not considered touching?
>CASSANDRA: How are you preparing us physically for the ships?
Tom: (almost yelling) Ships?!? What ships?!? You were talking about
meteors!
>ASHTAR: Our main focus is for yourselves to be put in a position
>where you can align yourselves energetically. The chakra system will
>kick in.
Tom: This has been a test of the Emergency Chakra System.
> We've had a process by which the adrenals have been settled
>in the last week to ten days. We've achieved that and managed to
>bring that into alignment . We've managed to negate those by
>focusing on them with Light Beams.
Mike: You mean flashlights.
'Bots: NBC Mystery Movie.
Mike: What?
Crow: Oh, nothing.
> Because adrenals are unique to
>this world other than with whatever we have dealt with before, in
>ascending other planets; these adrenals are very focused within your
>existence because of the survival mechanism. This is what we are
>trying to negate
Mike: Don't go negating my survival mechanisms.
> because it is negating all of the energy flow which
>needs to flow through the spinal cord. It is a major part of the
>nervous system which needs to be fully aligned and to a point.
Crow: Won't that hurt.
> It
>doesn't have to be healed.
Tom: After being compressed to a point, your spine doesn't need healing?
> It does however need to be able to
>receive the information in order to disperse the energy within a
>second, which you wouldn't even know about. Even consciously it only
>takes a minute to be in another place.
Crow: If you have a really fast car.
Tom: Or the place is close by.
> The thing is that you have to
>be prepared in order to receive this information coming in.
Mike: So set yourself to autoanswer and be done with it.
>So we have knocked out the adrenals as much as we can without
>interfering in your life. We've actually encoded this in your core
>in regards to our core,
Tom: (stuffy) My core sends its regards to your core.
> so when the ascension process comes through
>which will be like a wall around the planet, it'll take ten minutes
>to get around the planet and then get back to the point by which it
>started.
Mike: Or your next one is free.
> And as it goes around like that the coding of every being
>that will pass under that wall will be automatically turning off
>their adrenals and bang they will be off the planet and dispersed
>energetically and then reformed within the ship. Now that means you
>are now experiencing physical dispersion and then a physical
>restructuring. But you don't even notice it.
Crow: Since you'll be dead.
> It's completely safe. I
>am amused when I watch the beaming process on Star Trek .
Mike: Aren't we all.
> It's cute.
ALL: Awwww!
>There are actually some people up here who actually used that
>process which has been channeled.
Crow: They're all dead, of course.
> A lot of third dimensional planets
>which have ascended have used different technology to us in light
>and love but it was more within the Earth style technology.
Tom: You mean special effects.
>Thousands of years ahead of you but compared to us basic.
Tom: Gee, not even as good as FORTRAN.
Crow: We must really suck.
>We actually use the creator focus, light, natural energy whereas
>they were creating it through machines.
>
>CASSANDRA: So your equivalent of Scotty didn't quite get Taiss up
>there.
>
>ASHTAR: Oh, yeah. I was wondering when somebody was going to bring
>that up. I apologize for that.
Mike: I never could fake a Scottish accent.
> On one level you agreed to do it but
>on another you didn't agree to fall flat on your face.
Crow: Even if you did deserve to.
> And it's
>something we didn't expect. I really appreciate the fact that we are
>not perfect.
Tom: I'm glad you're happy about it.
> You won't lose your body.
Crow: Just your mind.
> Thank you for that because it
>also means that no one else is going to go through that.
>
>CASSANDRA: So that was basically a test run. You knew basically that
>it was not going to work.
Mike: You just wanted to know if it was fatal.
>ASHTAR: We knew it was going to work but we didn't know how it was
>going to work.
Tom: Correctly or incorrectly.
> We didn't know which side of the 4th dimension we
>were going to before we did that.
Mike: They live on the wrong side of the tracks.
> Fortunately you were on the right
>side. There was no danger.
Tom: To us, anyway. You of course, might have died.
> We had a cross over perfectly , we have
>to cross over many dimensions but on a place such as this is so
>unsettling.
ALL: What?!?
> The only reason this process of communication was so
>well done is because you are so fifth dimensional energetically,
>vibration. And the fact is that the emotional body was screaming,
>but the physical body was O.K. There was no problem with that.
Mike: The physical body is the part we'll eat.
> The
>adrenal glands up until that point were a problem, as you know. We
>had test runs with Dana and a few others and I didn't stop hearing
>it for a few nights.
Tom: Now be quiet and let me sleep!
>CASSANDRA: Can I ask what the feeling is of the heart chakra. A lot
>of us have been feeling a sense of agitation during the last couple
>of days.
Crow: Take some Rolaids.
>ASHTAR: Well , the actual vibration on the Earth is surging but also
>in that surge we've got space ship energy or focus surging with it.
Tom: But we aren't sure which.
>We're raising the ability of the chakra system to receive..you're a
>conduit.
Mike: Since your head is hollow.
> The energy flows straight through and you're getting that
>from the ship core straight to the Earth's core and back again, so
>it's going up and down through like that so it's natural that you
>are feeling physical sensations in your body,
Crow: I'll bet.
> being such an amazing
>live wire, a magnetic field, for the planet. So, you're also helping
>the planet move to the light the ascension process. So we are taking
>liberties with you
Crow: Isn't that illegal?
> as you are aware on some levels, so I just
>thought that this is unavoidable and the human race by many degrees
>are denying the energy . We've called onto the animals the star
>seeds coming into awareness on many levels...higher self, conscious,
>unconscious whatever you want to call it to
Tom: Get you to help us take over your puny planet.
> help us ground this
>energy. As you know the grounding rods came through on every level .
>Everything is grounding including the plants . Everything is
>grounding in all dimensions, levels etc.. to what extent only our
>cores know.
Mike: And they aren't talking.
> If I want to access it I will find out. That's how
>amazing our cores are. The computers do what I want.
Crow: Oh, he's using UNIX.
> I only have to
>project a thought and it's there on the screen.
Tom: Sounds like a MAC to me.
Mike: Don't start, guys.
>CASSANDRA: So, how is Sananda? I've noticed his focus on expressing
>his manhood....
Crow: I won't even say it.
>ASHTAR: Man! Definitely! That's an interesting side of Sananda. I
>see that a lot. It was a bit of shock to Dana the other night.
>
>CASSANDRA: We have made some rapid discoveries about how to
>communicate with people.
Mike: It's called language.
> It's not easy.
All: Being cheesy.
>ASHTAR: You now understand how impossible it is with people who I
>want to get through with information.
Mike: The border patrols are very efficient.
> It was a sigh of relief when
>Dana came onto line. It was just incredible.
Crow: You sure you're talking about a sigh of relief here?
>TAISS: Is there anything specifically you would like to mention?
>
>ASHTAR: BRACE YOURSELVES!
Tom: Delta Flight 452 is coming in for a landing.
> There'll be a few more coming into the
>love nest. Doran's kept me up with all the gossip about what Georgia
>is going through.
Crow: What with the Olympics coming up and all.
> Your twin flames are not very well at
>present...are you? Finally you are energetically coming into your
>own power and you are supporting each other. They also have their
>support system. Congratulations guys,
Tom: You win a new car!
> you are very successful. You
>are understanding how we work here. Under this enormous stress and
>focus and pain you have achieved so far,
Mike: I've never really thought of pain as an achievement.
> regardless of all the
>jargon that goes with it whether it is denial or whatever, I just
>want to lavish you with support.
>
>CASSANDRA: How is this planet coping with its new divorce from
>humanity?
Crow: It's thrilled!
>ASHTAR: Relief!
Crow: Hey! I was right!
> I'm being serious! The greys are quite harmless
>without the Higher Powers threatening to reprocess them for not
>doing their job, actually. Their higher level is being created
>through decree. They'll all end up in MAN form.
Tom: What, is that an acronym?
> Every one of them.
>They're all being given new bodies. Tish is happy where he is.
>
>CASSANDRA: Are you able to process their information easily?
Tom: Well, we had to get a Word Perfect to ASCII converter, but it
really wasn't that bad.
>ASHTAR: With the information of their genetic coding, it is very
>basic. They are resisting . The ones that are coming into the light
>are quite amazed at what is possible with the physical body they can
>choose. Most of them will not be conscious of the shift.
Crow: So they're automatics?
> We have to
>create new guidelines for this because unlike you guys, you entered
>through a soul level and a consciousness. It is a process by which
>you go through your family in the light and then into this dimension
>for whatever reason it may be
Tom: We don't ask questions about your past here.
> as you are aware.
>
>The greys didn't have that experience so we had to create that. It
>seems like manipulation
Mike: Which it is.
> but ultimately they are conscious beings
>with no understanding of what they are doing or what they've done..
>So someone has had to take responsibility for them. The creator has
>left a decree that whatever is left of this world of separation.
>Everything is graced. Everything is healed. If an individual wishes
>to be processed so be it.
Tom: Gee, what a deal.
> Nobody is being blamed...there's a reason
>why there's a Hitler.
Crow: Did I miss a connection somewhere?
>The greys were genetically created from Atlantis in man form. They
>were biological energetic robotics and they took on every aspect of
>man and when Atlantis died there's a misconception which Doctor
>Casey found out, that the people of Atlantis went into spaceships
>through vortexes which then went into pure negativity. Rather than
>exploding, they imploded and got stuck in the fourth dimension
>without bodies.
Mike: That happened to me once.
Crow: Really!
Mike: Well, no.
> They can still function....A really weird thing
>happened.
Tom: This post was written.
> When Atlantis was in a really bad way, two days before
>that earthquake, the planet was like a photographic negative.
Tom: Which mankind quickly made a real negative.
> If you
>looked at a tree outside your house, it's like transparent.
Crow: Only you couldn't see through it.
> That was
>the energy they were dealing with.
>zÿ
>Continued in the next message...
>
Tom: Ah, a brief break for more computer nonsense.
>Article 10180 of alt.alien.visitors:
>Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
>Path: xanth.cs.odu.edu!concert!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!news.duke.edu!eff!news
>.kei.com!uhog.mit.edu!news.mtholyoke.edu!world!snet
>From: sn...@world.std.com (Glenda M Stocks)
>Subject: Ashtar Update 02
>Message-ID: <Cts5I...@world.std.com>
>Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
>Date Sun, 31 Jul 1994 01:01:46 GMT
>Lines: 166
>
>Continued from the previous message...
>zÿ
Crow: That's how I feel too.
>
>Before then, many years ago, they had civilizations here. I'm
>talking about the Draconian. Human is a man created focus.
Mike: We created ourselves?
Tom: You people are full of surprises.
> Creator
>focus of love and the Elahim galactic Federation Focus. Every race
>that is created or planet or merging process is created through
>focus , all the temples...it can take forever.
Mike: Much like trying to understand me.
> From our point of
>view there is no time. Even from our perspective it is a long time.
Tom: That doesn't even make sense.
Mike: Maybe you need some time to think about it.
Tom: If I had working arms, you'd be in trouble Mr. Nelson.
>I am focusing on Earth because that is where I was born but also a
>lot of my best mates are here.
Crow: Like Cindy Crawford, Sharon Stone, Kathy Ireland...
Mike: We get the idea, Crow.
> I was in the Galactic war and Sananda
>came in towards the end as the Supreme Commander of the Sector. He
>was elected at that point when the original one retired, but Sananda
>energy was becoming
Mike: Expensive, due to high demand.
> the high vibration towards opening up the
>Thirteenth Sector. As you know duality has been focused at a point
>of origin in the pyramid. All 5th dimensional technology has to be
>done on a pyramid basis and circle eliminating the square.
Crow: But watch out for Triangle Man.
> I heard
>about Sananda and the white light...I was working with white light
>at the time.
Tom: I couldn't afford a prism.
> When duality ended we came into white light The unity
>of one . Sananda was created as a man a focus of the unity white
>light as a soul. He had the focus and the understanding to be at the
>right place at the right time.
Mike: But not with the right outfit.
>Supremacy means
Crow: The power to decide who lives and who dies!
Tom: Yes, Crow, we know.
> expansion in 5th dimensional reality not Greatness
>as such. It's a greater understanding of the energy fields around
>the universe. When you move through energy fields through the
>universe you understand it.
Mike: The energy fields or the universe?
> I met him man to man at a banquet. It
>was on a level of pure sheer diplomacy.
Crow: Smooth and silky.
> At the resolution of the
>Orion-Pleiades conflict a seal was placed around both sectors from
>this sector.
Tom: How can one sector be from another sector?
Mike: Maybe they have kids.
Crow: They how would sectors mate?
Mike: I don't even want to know.
> This sector was sealed with a 12 point grid only
>accessed by four vortexes. Even in these we set up guardians to
>protect the gateways, special star fleets.
Mike: We prefer to call them grab vitatin onaly challenged.
> A little bit like space
>stations, mother ships. They guard these vortexes.
Tom: He's just stealing the plot from Deep Space Nine.
> This place is so
>full
Crow: Of it.
> on with every conceivable focus on resolving duality. Sananda
>took on the responsibility to heal this duality. He chose to come to
>Earth along with yourselves and many others. Some including Sananda
>have chosen to come back. Very few have come back physically.
Tom: Do you blame them?
> None
>have come back physically
Mike: That would be very few.
> since then because of the damage to the
>membrane of the planet.
Crow: The planet isn't covered in mucous, is it?
> The probes that can get through are
>reprocessed as soon as they return because they are so damaged.
>Robots too are destroyed on that level .
'Bots: What?!?
> We are on another level
>breaking down the energetics of the planet.
Mike: Is that good?
>At the end of the week you will see lots of reports on UFO
>sightings. The actual ascension process needs to be focussed on a
>point in time when everything needs to move at the same time.
Tom: Everyone on the count of three.
> The
>fact is that you are stuck on this place until you can go with your
>physical body.
Crow: Losers.
> If you chose to leave without your physical body it
>is protocol that we will stop you.
Tom: Nothing personal.
> It is not appropriate for you to
>do it on an evolutionary level so you have to come to terms with
>that. The amount of interference is decreasing at a fast rate.
Mike: Except for us interfering, of course.
>The greys and the zeti reticuli are separate energetically and
>genetically.
Crow: They're also in different tax brackets.
> Tesh is a being a creator created,
Tom: Come now, you need to pick one.
> a spark of love but
>they went into duality like the rest of us. The zeti reticuli
>enslaved their race, very much like Earth. They had an elite system
>by which you could procreate through sexuality and a cloning process
>so to speak.
Mike: I know which one I'd pick.
> The major basis of the society was to be cloned.
>Sexuality was of a pedestal concept by which you could only observe
>but not be part of the process.
Tom: So who were you planning on observing?
Mike: They've still got a few kinks to work out.
> So it was a bit like the haves and
>the have nots. A bit like here.
Crow: Some people have been without oxygen for too long, others have not.
> Tesh was a rebel and we connected in
>the sense that his family was in total opposition,
Mike: They opposed everything, no matter what it was.
Tom: They even opposed opposing things.
> as he was a
>prince of his planet. When he came to the fleet he brought something
>like two three hundred ships with rebel forces and stayed with us
>under our protection.
Mike: He also ate all our food.
> Hence the basis of their culture and society
>was kept in their cores. Tesh spends time on the reconstruction of
>his race.
Crow: He lost the instructions, so it's taking longer than he thought.
> The rest of the beings on his planet are in denial as like
>the beings on this planet.
Tom: No, we're not!
>That planet is going into fifth dimension like this whole quadrant.
>It is spinning in a spiral until it hits the full focus of the
>creator, setting of a vibration. The eye of Horus is looking at us
>now.
Mike: Everyone wave.
> This race on Tesh's planet will be reprocessed. It is their
>choice. They are like the greys in the sense that they don't know
>what is going on.
Crow: That's ok, neither do we and we've read this post.
> Tesh has sent Diplomats; we've had a problem with
>that because they don't return. So we've sent our own diplomats but
>they are also collected. They are a race of hoarders.
Tom: All I need is an Alpha Centauri diplomat and I'll have a whole set.
> They put their
>culture on a pedestal but they don't understand how it came into
>being, that's how far into separation they are.
Crow: Sorta like the KKK, huh?
> Tesh was smart
>enough to break through and retain a substantial part of his
>sexuality. That planet will heal.
Mike: Of course, all the people are doomed.
>GLENN: When I ascend can I take my car?
Crow: Sure, but there isn't any gas there.
>ASHTAR: Yes, if you want! Planet EARTH will not be very much
>different to what it is now after it ascends except that it will
>have more advanced technology.
Mike: It'll still be the polluted mess you've made it into.
> Your still going to have road grids
>on the surface but the amount which will be created are made by
>decree with the planet. If you want to experience a car go for it .
Crow: Isn't that considered deviant behavior?
>There is artistic, creativity in a car, in design.
Tom: Except for Gremlins.
> The things is
>that they are interfered with. Older cars were built with beauty and
>creativity. As time went on this was crushed. Value aesthetically I
>can appreciate as long as it is not damaging to the atmosphere and
>to your health.
Mike: Oh, then nevermind.
> I have no problems with that.
>
>Humanity's status is getting worse. The concept of denial in
>separation is actually growing wider for them.
Mike: No, it's not!
Crow: We made that joke already.
Mike: Sorry, it's just so easy.
> The ones on the
>outside perimeter of that are actually experiencing release. Out of
>judgment comes the energy of love, because judgment is created to
>stop the nurturing aspect of the creator within ourselves.
Crow: Remember, you must not nurture those you love.
> So by
>releasing judgment you are allowing the information within, so that
>is expanding within you.
Tom: Amazingly like hot air.
> I'm talking about self support. Our support
>is growing, more and more and your twin flames are having a problem
>because of the
Mike: Lack of oxygen.
> amount of concentration required to get through to
>communicate. The overall ascension concept self, is that it is a
>very complex process by which you were warned about but now that you
>are becoming conscious by 98%,
Crow: Not as good as Ivory, though.
> I would suggest that you focus on
>your support system.
Tom: I'd go with steel reinforced concrete.
> Because the last 2% is the punch of all the 98%
>put together. That is manifestation of a big scale. I'm talking
>about people in judgment and I'm talking about people out of it or
>coming out of it.
Crow: I think all of you are out of it.
> The Bible has talked of this. It has been a useful
>tool whether it has been a pos or a neg.
Tom: It's been useful whether it has helped or not?!?
> In the last two paragraphs
>of the book of revelations, you'll understand the message.
>
>The other aspect is the Earth itself. The Earth is on a triple level
>of separation.
Tom: He means three degrees of separation.
> Separated from its emotional understanding of itself,
>the solar system and the human race. It's conscious. Your
>consciousness is its consciousness.
Crow: It's a timeshare thing.
> So by you grounding between the
>ships core yourself and the Earth's core, the Earth is actually in
>par with you .
Mike: But I usually birdie this hole.
> It has aligned energetically with you. People in Tibet
>and others of HIGHER LEARNING, places like that have not picked up
>on this .
Tom: Intelligent people are all stupid.
> There a lot of people out there who are a wonderful
>conduit of love but there a lot of misconceptions about it. You
>understand what I mean.
Mike: Sure we do.
> When they come to this dimension they will
>see that we don't place things in such a rosy concept. We are basic
>beings with basic instincts as you're aware of. On the other hand we
>blend sensitivity with fun.
Crow: You got your fun in my sensitivity!
Tom: You got your sensitivity in my fun!
Mike: Two great things that go great together.
>CASSANDRA: So what we're going through at the moment with the planet
>is that the focus is on self expression. It's going through the same
>thing.
>
>ASHTAR: In many degrees no because it is a planet.
Crow: Duh!
> Just concentrate
>on self. You are a power grid.
Tom: I am the wind.
> Up here we are all part of the
>meridian system, our body is a replica of the creator body.
Crow: Only not to scale.
>Lots of love my friends. It won't be long. Bye for now.....
Tom: But wait, you haven't said anything coherent yet.
>ALL: Bye,.... We love you.
>
>ASHTAR: We love you to....
Crow: Death.
Mike: Operator? Operator. We've been cut off.
>
>ALL CORRESPONDANCE VIA THE SPIRIT BBS BULLETIN BOARD MAIL BOX
Tom: Will be ignored.
> (NAME:
>TAISS QUARTAPA) OR BY MAIL TO :
>
> SPECTRUM LIFE FORCE,
> P.O. BOX 5, CHADSTONE CENTRE,
> VIC, AUSTRALIA, 3148.
>
>
>
>GLENDA STOCKS | FidoNet 1:330/201.0
>SearchNet HeadQuarters
Crow: My, but we like capital letters, don't we?
> | InterNet G...@rochgte.fidonet.org
>Snet Mailing List info, SEND | Data: 508-586-6977 / 617-961-4865
>info snet-l TO | Download SEARCHNT.ZIP For Info!
>majo...@world.std.com | Voicemail: +1-617-341-6114
>Search...@channel1.com | FidoNet CHANNELS, & I_UFO moderator
>
> * RM 1.3 00257 * Me... a skeptic? I trust you have proof...
Tom: Let's get out of here. NOW!
1..2..3..4..5..6..*
[SOL]
Mike: There Tom, you see what kinds of things channeling causes.
Tom: Yep, you don't have to worry about me doing that ever again.
Crow: Good, now I want my turn, I'm going to channel the Terminator.
Mike: No, you aren't! No more channeling on this satellite.
Crow: I never get to have any fun.
Mike: Tough, whatdaya think, Sirs?
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: I was sure that that one would break their spirits.
[Dr. F sighs and looks off camera]
Dr. F: How are you doing Frank?
[Frank enters still wearing Third Eye Piece.]
Frank: I can feel myself becoming one with the universe. I'm developing
powers I never dreamed of.
Dr. F: Whatever, Frank.
[Dr. F starts to ask Frank to push the button. Frank reads his mind and
pushes the button by pointing at it.]
*click*
Dr. F: We're friends, right Frank?
******end credits******
MiSTed by Ty Cage Warren (Tazer One)
Disclaimer: MST3K and the characters/places/things and whatever are the
property of Best Brains. They didn't write this, I did, so it's not
their fault. This MiSTing was done for fun and entertainment and should
not be read as an attack on anyone or anything mentioned in it, or not
mentioned in it. If you have a problem with any of this, send mail to
Politically Incorrect.
> They do have a consciousness to a degree and a very amazing capacity for
> science.
--
------- | Tazer One | MiSTie #47167
/| | Ty Cage Warren
| | Old Dominion University
| | The NEW Web Site of Love
--- | http://www.cs.odu.edu/~warren/mst3k/MST3K.html