MST3k Quote List (3/4) - Monthly(?) Posting

[Michael John Zavisca]

"Mister Papercut -- 47 different angles of paper jut from his body!" -Joel.
#403(CL)
"MITCHELL!!" -All. #512(Mitchell)
"Mitchell... Even his name says, 'Is that a beer?'" -Joel. #512(Mitchell)
"Mmmm... Donuts and gray-water!" -Crow. #312(GvG)
"Mmmm... Dove bars. I love 'em no matter what dimension I'm in!" -Mike (as
Cabot). #519(Outlaw)
"Mmmm... French dressing. I love it." -Crow (as Talowa). #211(FSoV)
"Mmmm... your lips are like crisp, delicious bacon..." -Tom Servo (as Dean).
#607(Bloodlust!)
"Mohair!" -Tom Servo. #513-. (Robot Roll Call.)
"Mom, if the UN calls, I'm playing with my slot cars." -Joel (as Itchy).
#308(GvG)
"Mom! No!! She's putting out for a nickel! ... I have no mother..."
-Tom Servo. #523(VotG)
"Monkey love pile on me!" -Joel (as Charlie). #204(CC)
"Most of the town didn't have a problem with the Giant Regime..." -Mike.
#523(VotG)
"Mother Theresa called... She hates you." -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)
"Mother Theresa, please hold, *Kathy's* on line one..." -Crow (as God).
#516(AfLA)
"MOUNT FUJI -- again!!..." -All. #K22(LotD)
"Mount your horses, gentlemen." "We're not *that* lonely!" -Sir Branton/Crow
(as George). #411(tMS)
"Mr. B, you're HOT!!" -Joel. #319(WotCB)
"My god you're ugly..." -Crow (as Neil Striker). #305(SiS) et al.
"My mother's donuts are a saint!!" -Crow (as Tom). #312(GvG)
"My my my my MY GOD!!!" -Crow. #512(Mitchell)
"My one piece of advice: Do not have the Venusian Pu-Pu Platter." -Crow (as
Durant). #211(FSoV)
"My shorts are never boring." "Thank you, Tom." -Tom Servo/Joel. #102(tRvtAM)
"My spirit is snoring!" -Tom Servo. #208(LC)
"*My* transmitter?! Look, dickweed..." -Crow (as Herringway). #211(FSoV)
"NC-17 -- fifties style..." -Crow. #603(tDTB)
"Neat. Dark specter in basic black." -Tom Servo. #511(Gunslinger)
"Never trust a man with two first names, especially if one of them's
a woman's." -Joel. #K22(LotD)
"Never, under any circumstances, drive with your butt-cheeks." -** (as
Narrator). #520(RSS)
"New rule, Frank: Don't ever touch me." -Dr. Forrester. #407(tKS)
"Next on Sally Jesse Raphael -- Ski Joring." -Tom Servo. #311(ICtW)
"Next time I make a robot, no more free will." -Joel. #106(tCH)
"Nice caboose on that girl... What am I saying?!? That's my daughter!!
... I *am* mad!" -Tom Servo (as Dr. Cameron). #103(MM)
"Nice hinder, son." "Thanks, dad." "I meant the girl!!!" -Tom Servo (as Tom
Grant)/Crow (as Ben). #522(TCW)
"Nice jammies." -Crow. #K09(CP)
"Nice location for a beating. Real scenic!" -Tom Servo. #403(CL)
"Nice of you to include us in the plot." -**. #*
"NICE TAG!" -All. #105(tCV) et al.
"Nipple nipple tweak tweak FLY!!..." -Tom Servo (as Commando Cody). #105(tCV)
et al.
"No, but I once saw a bear drinking a soda." -Tom Servo. #202(Sidehackers)
"No, Edward! Don't do it!" "DO IT, EDWARD, DO IT!!" -Flora/All. #102(tRvtAM)
"No, I'm saving myself for the right oily drifter." -Joel (as Carrie (she's so
very)). #509(tGiLL)
"'No, Joel, *you* can't go to Woodstock, *you're* only nine years old...'"
-Joel. #204(CC)
"No, Marmaduke! Don't use the triple-overhand stitch! Bad dog!" -Crow.
#301(CD)
"No, my doctor says I can't have Mr. Pibb!" -TV's Frank. #508(OD007)
"No, no, forget the beach chair! You're in a hurry!" -Tom Servo. #306(TotA)
"No one can beat me at snap zooms! I was in _Time of the Apes_!" -Crow (as
Capt. Joe). #310(FA)
"No one could hold a candle to him in this role. Well, maybe they could
douse him in something flammable and *then* hold a candle to him." -Crow.
#105(tCV)
"No one will be seated during the famous Fish Argument." -**. #316(GvZ)
"No self-respecting scientist would have his shirt unbuttoned that far." -Tom
Servo. #106(tCH)
"Not a high school diploma between them..." -Crow. #415(The Beatniks)
"Nothing like an invigorating swim with a corpse in the morning." -Tom Servo
(as Tom Stewart). #414(Tormented)
"Now, don't you kids get drunk and go swimming under the dock. (Doodly
doodly doodly...) Help! I'm drunk and I'm swimming under the dock!!"
-Tom Servo. #502(Hercules)
"Now, every scientist worth his salt knows that dogs love chirpy little
chew toys, *and* they love rock-'n'-roll; so..." -Dr. Forrester. #213(GvtSM)
"Now, I envision Big Stupid as pure energy..." -TV's Frank. #509(tGiLL)
"Now, if you look out the left side of the train, you'll see -- the right
side of the train." -Crow. #113(BS)
"Now Michael Jackson's journey is complete..." -**. #508(OD007)
"Now *that's* science!" -Joel. #421(MaGG)
"Now that the Golden Fleece is gone, he must officiate." "EWWWW!!" -Iole/All.
#502(Hercules)
"Now that we have a space station,--" "--or FRISBEE--" "--it is at last
possible to send a ship--" "--or BATTERIES--" "all the way around the
moon." "--or PLAYGROUND BALL." -General Greene/All. #109(PMB)
"Now they can all die on dry land!" -**. #212(GvM)
"Now this, to me, is good TV -- being genetically altered on cable
television." -'Jack Perkins'. #310(FA)
"Now *this* will anger the gods." -Tom Servo. #605(CatH)
"Now, wait a minute... Is it me, or did I just lose face?" -**. #322(MN1)
"Now we can kill us some game in peace and quiet." "Do you realize what you
just said?" -Matt/Crow (as Lorne Green guy). #303(PP)
"Now, we've always known that there are fish in the ocean--" "--Oh, that's a
little farfetched!" -Prof. Galbraith/Joel (as Tom Gregory). #108(SP)
"Now, where were we. Ah, yes, I believe I had my tongue down your throat."
-Crow (as Lewis B. Moffitt). #206(RoT)
"Now, you see, this is irresponsible. They're encouraging people to go out
and drug Kathy Ireland." -Mike. #516(AfLA)
"No, you can't inject puberty, it has to happen over time." -**. #503(SD)
"No zombies. Not allowed." -Tom Servo (as Restaurant Owner). #106(tCH)
"Number of seances since last injury: 13." -Sign found in Deep Thirteen.
#418(AottEC)
"Objection! The use of the term 'nipple' is imprecise, incorrect, and
misleading -- though, I admit, mildly provocative..." -Tom Servo. #108(SP)
"Off to meet my doom, Mom! See you after school!" -Joel (as Johnny).
#306(TotA)
"Oh, and that playground ball's a threat, too." -Tom Servo. #104(WotPP)
"Oh, and, uh, you're married to me, that was the other thing..." -**. #316(GvZ)
"Oh, and you can smoke too." -Tom Servo (as Capt. Mike Brady). #K12(SSTDF)
"Oh, and you must have a wire rack." -Tom Servo (as Prof. E.C. Buehler).
#313(EvtS)
"Oh, as if *you're* the only person who ever got their head cut off. Quit
whining!" -Tom Servo. #513(tBtWD)
"Oh, a *single* smoocher! The worst kind!" -**. #418(AottEC)
"Oh, bite me. It's fun!" -Joel (as Zor). #301(CD) et al.
"Oh, Bob's alright. A little trigger-happy, perhaps..." -**. #203(JG)
"Oh, boy, this is gonna be dark..." -TV's Frank. #509(tGiLL)
"Oh -- Canada. That explains why it SUCKED!!" -Crow. #K21(tLC)
"Oh, Crow... What the heck does this have to do with French toast?!" -Tom
Servo. #317(VWatSS)
"Oh, don't invoke Jupiter..." -Mike. #514(TS)
"Oh, everything's better in the crawlicopter..." -Tom Servo. #211(FSoV)
"Oh, excuse me, Mr. Coffee..." -Tom Servo. #K10(HW) and #103(MM)
"Oh, excuse *me*, sexless man-woman." -Tom Servo (as Buzz). #319(WotCB)
"Oh, fine. Everyone pick on the Devil." -Mike. #603(tDTB)
"Oh. Flying hellbeast. Seen it." -Joel (as Itchy). #308(GvG)
"Oh, Gene Hackman. He's good in anything." -Joel. #401(ST)
"Oh, George Nader. He's untalented at any speed." -Joel. #420(tHD)
"Oh, god... I was gonna get through this movie without thinking about his
hips, and now *this*!..." -Mike. #515(tWWWoBW)
"Oh -- God, no!! Does he have room for *her* down there?!" -Crow. #423(BotM)
"Oh, golly!" -Tom Servo. #K09(CP) et al.
"Oh, great, a harmonica. As if this guy wasn't annoying enough." -Crow.
#201(RXM)
"Oh, great. Another oily, unlikable character." -Crow. #419(tRS)
"Oh, great. The plague. And I've got a date!" -Crow (as Michael). #405(BfAP)
"Oh, great, Tony, you shot a midget. Hope you sleep well tonight." -Joel (as
a Cop). #105(tCV)
"Oh, he's just the host organism..." -Crow. #421(MaGG)
"Oh I'd hate to shoot a butt like that!" -Tom Servo. #102(tRvtAM) et al.
"Oh -- I didn't grow proportionately!!" -Mike (as Pete). #523(VotG)
"Oh -- I forgot France! Oh, well..." -Mike (as Santa). #521(SC)
"Oh, I hope *they* aren't Herc's mortal weakness!" -Crow. #502(Hercules)
"Oh, I know I'm being punished for something... What have I done??...
I DIDN'T ASK TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!" -Tom Servo. #506(Eegah!)
"Oh, I'll alert the media..." -Tom Servo (as Cesar Romero). #208(LC) et al.
"Oh, I suppose *Hell* got an NEA grant." -Mike. #521(SC)
"--Oh!! I thought he was gonna rip off his mustache!" -Crow. #322(MN1)
"Oh -- I thought that was a smoke detector!" -Tom Servo (as Cody).
#102(tRvtAM)
"Oh, it's just part of the American way: turning a neighboring country rich
in culture and beauty into a goofy appetizer." -Joel. #319(WotCB)
"Oh, like there's a plot to this..." -Tom Servo. #416(FMoOS)
"Oh my god, he's playing dress-up! NO! NO!!!..." -Tom Servo. #321(SCCtM)
"Oh my god, please say this isn't happening!!" -Crow. #319(WotCB)
"Oh my god! The humidifier committed suicide!!" -**. #212(GvM)
"Oh, Nelson. So close and yet so not." -Dr. Forrester. #522(TCW)
"Oh, no! My aunt's coming to take me to the Michael Bolton concert!" -Tom
Servo. #502(Hercules)
"Oh, no!! Not the bean bag chair!" -Joel. #423(BotM)
"Oh, no!! They *licked* her to death!" "I *knowwww*..." -Tom Servo/Crow.
#317(VWatSS)
"Oh, pardon *me*, Tom 'I've-got-to-take-an-Indestructible-Whiz' Servo." -Joel.
#409(IM)
"Oh, pleeeease, Laurel Records! Let us use "The Web"! C'mon!" -Crow.
#513(tBtWD)
"Oh, pooh -- I'm in the pit of Hell." -Tom Servo (as Kathy Ireland).
#516(AfLA)
"Oh -- See, gays in the military, right there." -Joel. #508(OD007)
"Oh, shut up! Ever since we left, all it's been out of you is 'Texas
this' and 'Texas that'... Well, listen, bub, I've been to Texas, and
it's not all that great!" -Crow (as Lloyd). #201(RXM)
"Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further." -Crow.
#515(tWWWoBW)
"Oh, the Crawlicopter -- that's your answer for everything." -Crow. #211(FSoV)
"Oh, there she is -- about 200 yards. You could make it with iron sights,
but you'll want to use a scope, Crow..." -Tom Servo. #510(L:tPH)
"Oh, this is a great date. I've always wanted to be nuzzled by a hobo."
-Joel (as Carrie). #509(tGiLL)
"Oh. We're in Hell. Neat." -Joel. #208(LC)
"Oh, we sold her into slavery for some magic beans. Why?" -Joel (as Penny).
#112(UY)
"Oh, wowww..." -Joel. #K12(SSTDF) et al.
"Oh, yeah, feel real good about kicking a fish's butt. That's real nice."
-Joel. #204(CC)
"Oh! You magnificent son-of-a-bitch, I read your book!" -Crow (as Paisley).
#202(Sidehackers).
"Okay, *don't* kill me! Sure could go for a sammich, though..." -Tom Servo.
#416(FMoOS)
"Okay, guys. Don't frag me again." -Tom Servo (as Col. Caldwell). #606(tCT)
"Okay -- It forms three creamy layers -- No, wait, three layers: a creamy
layer, a gelatinous layer, and... dammit, I *must* find that formula!"
-Tom Servo (as The Bat). #102(tRvtAM)
"Okay, now remember our rule: Only one dead at each place." -**. #503(SD)
"Okay, okay, you can have your raise!" -Crow (as Peter Graves). #517(tBotE)
"Okay, sheriff, we've given your idea a lot of thought and -- we've decided
to step on you." -Tom Servo (as Beau Bridges). #523(VotG)
"Okay, show of hands: Who wet 'em?" -Mike (as the Sheriff). #523(VotG)
"Okay, we're gonna whack Santa, he's muscling in on the Easter Bunny's
turf..." -Tom Servo (as Italian kid). #521(SC)
"Once again, Big has saved Danny from a heterosexual experience." -Joel.
#509(tGiLL)
"One good thing about the apocalypse -- always plenty of parking." -Tom Servo.
#403(CL)
"Only *radar* knows what the hell is going on..." -Mike. #520(RSS)
"Ooh! I hope they start wrestling!" -Tom Servo. #317(VWatSS)
"Ooh, Steve is really delicious!" -Crow (as Rota). #213(GvtSM)
"Ooh, that's good lard..." -TV's Frank. #312(GvG)
"Oscar Wilde only *wished* he were this gay." -Joel. #319(WotCB)
"Ouch!! I landed on my eight-sided dice!" -Joel (as a human sacrifice).
#301(CD)
"Our minds play strange tricks on us sometimes." "Yeah, like that weiner-
between-the-fingers trick!" -Dr. Lorenz/Joel. #105(tCV)
"Ow!! I fell on my keys!" -Crow (as Hercules). #408(HU) et al.
"Ow!! Right in the Winky..." -Tom Servo. #413(MiS)
"Pa doesn't know very much about girls' clothes." "There's so much you could
say to that." -Carrie/Crow. #509(tGiLL)
"Painful, yes, but I've got to think of the greater Me." -Dr. Forrester.
#523(VotG)
"Pajamas, jazz, and communism. This is WILD!!" -Crow. #610(tVY)
"PEEP." -Crow and Tom Servo. #202(Sidehackers)
"People from the future are so smug." -**. #K07(GvG)
"Perfect Paul and his Magnetic Spleen -- he has only one flaw!" -Tom Servo.
#403(CL)
"Personal effects make me happy." -Joel (as police chief). #504(SASD)
"Pervert-Burger!" -Crow (as Jack Elam). #509(tGiLL)
"'Pile-On Pete'??" -Joel. #510(L:tPH)
"Pizza." -Door Number Three. #101-512
"'Pizza pizza' my ass..." -Joel (as Hercules). #410(HatMM)
"P.J. Truffleberry's -- try the fantoozler!" -Joel. #322(MN1)
"Please, Dad -- don't kill us and take us to the afterworld and stuff!" -Crow.
#208(LC)
"Please hit Bobby." -Joel (as Rocky Jones). #417(CotM)
"Please remain seated until the movie grinds to a complete halt." -**. #*
"Please slip corpses under the door after ten." -Crow. #206(RoT)
"Please take the Bob Hope hat off!" -**. #316(GvZ)
"Point zero-zero-FORE!" -Joel. #504(SASD)
"Prepare to meet Kali's brother -- near hell!!" -Tom Servo (as Thayer).
#508(OD007)
"Pretty please, with Herc on top?" -Crow (as Hercules). #502(Hercules)
"Probation isn't a right, it's a privilege." "Like stretch pants." -Probation
Officer/Crow. #601(GT)
"Progress! *That's* what my career lacks!" -Crow (as Robbie Benson). #403(CL)
"Protect the legend... the LEGEND!!" "Okay... He was Bigfoot." -Burgess
Meredith/** (as **). #K12(SSTDF)
"Pull my finger." -Crow (as Glen). #309(tACM) et al.
"Pulse normal... Heartbeat faint but regular... Respiration steady...
Reactions, none..." "Wait a minute -- that's *me*!" -Sharon/Joel (as John
Carradine). #320(The Unearthly)
"Puma? Puma!" -R.J. Dobson. #206(RoT)
"Push the button, Frank. I've got a tennis game later with the chirping
hellbeast." -Dr. Forrester. #309(tACM)
"Put that lampshade on your head, tie femur bones around your waist, and
dance naked in the moonlight!" -**. #203(JG)
"Quick, somebody get her a sandwich." -Crow. #201(RXM)
"'*Read* you'?? I *love* you!" -Joel (as NASA technician). #401(ST)
"Red flare at night, lizards fight." -Tom Servo. #210(KD)
"Red sky at morning, monsters take warning." -Joel. #308(GvG)
"Remember last week, when he was alive? Well, that didn't last..." -Joel (as
Taylor). #510(L:tPH)
"Remind me to hit you later." -Crow (as Bartender). #207(WR)
"Remind me to kill you later." -Tom Servo (as Hugh Beaumont). #208(LC)
"Remind your engineers to use coasters on me." -Crow (as the Table). #504(SASD)
"Rex Dart -- Eskimo Spy!" -**. #212(GvM)
"Ribs! *That's* what I'm hungry for!" -Joel (as Insensitive Reporter).
#309(tACM)
"Rock climbing, Joel..." -Tom Servo. #208(LC)
"Rocky, have you ever had a funny feeling you're about to get
slugged?" "Here, let me complete the thought --" -Winky/Joel (as Rocky
Jones). #417(CotM)
"Rodeos are the opiate of the masses." -Tom Servo. #407(tKS)
"Roger, this is God. Pick up the pace!" Crow (as God). #317(VWatSS)
"Saaaay!..." -Tom Servo. #302(Gamera) et al.
"Saaaay... These Klan meetings have really lightened up!" -Tom Servo. #204(CC)
"Saaaay... Who's the new girl?" -Tom Servo. #311(ICtW)
"Sadly, Sinbad wandered to the edge of the enchanted sea..." "...and had a
magic B.M." -Narrator/Tom Servo (as Narrator). #505(tMVoS)
"Sample my *fist*, you community theater reject!" -TV's Frank. #402(tGGM)
"'Santa bites the bishop'??" -Tom Servo. #505(tMVoS)
"Santa's doing the forbidden dance!" -Crow. #521(SC)
"Say, y'know, it's been two hours, but it's still pretty warm..." -TV's Frank.
#424(M:tHoF)
"Scare me?" -Crow. #309(tACM) et al.
"Scientists aren't sure what this represents." -Mike (as Narrator).
#608(CN:DH)
"Seemed like a nice enough fellow... AT FIRST!..." -Crow/Tom Servo. #105(tCV)
et al.
"Seen it... hated it... taped it..." -Tom Servo/Joel/Crow. #304(GvB)
"See no evil... Well, maybe just a little. Yeah!..." -Joel (as Kiko the
Monkey). #104(WotPP)
"See, *this* should have a brain in it." -Mike (as Robbie). #516(AfLA)
"See what you can do about making this lobby spookier." -Crow (as Doctor).
#413(MiS)
"See you when I can. Is that vague enough for you?" -Crow (as Mr. Parkins).
#610(tVY)
"Send in the clowns -- Oh! Don't bother, they're here." -Tom Servo (as Sec.
Drake). #413(MiS)
"Shame fuels the economy!" -Dr. Forrester. #505(tMVoS)
"She could eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket fence." -**. #101(tCE)
"She feels for me, and I feel for her, and we're free to express
it..." "--*naked*." -Cabot/Crow (as Cabot). #519(Outlaw)
"She had to sit next to -- THE STINKY GUY!" -Joel. #323(CoFM)
"She'll be perfect for my experiments..." -Joel (as Tang). #104(WotPP) et al.
"She meant *walk* the dog, not *wok* the dog!" -**. #K22(LotD)
"She's a prostitute. You can't really shame her, okay?" -Joel. #509(tGiLL)
"She's dressed like Minnie Mouse, only many times HOTTER!" -Tom Servo.
#601(GT)
"She's got a frontal bike-rack!" -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)
"She's got a swing on her back porch." -Crow. #K19(tMEoS)
"She's got her radio tuned to the Marching Band Station." -Mike. #517(tBotE)
"She's looking right at his throat..." -Crow. #510(L:tPH)
"She's very attractive when she weeps. Like death warmed over." -Tom Servo.
#K10(HW)
"She wouldn't have me on a silver platter." "How about on an air mattress
slathered with butter?" -Major Moore/Tom Servo. #109(PMB)
"Shield your eyes, Frank..." -Dr. Forrester. #321(SCCtM)
"Should I get out the anatomically correct doll?" -** (as White Goddess).
#203(JG)
"Should I go put a horse's head in my bed again?" -Crow (as Borman). #204(CC)
"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comic books in plastic bags?"
"No, we have lives." -Crow/Tom Servo. #403(CL)
"Shut up, Frank, or I'll let the dog play with you." -Dr. Forrester.
#415(The Beatniks)
"Since when did NASA paint anything red?" -Tom Servo. #401(ST)
"Sir... Sir, we may be underwater, but we still have standards." -Crow.
#505(tMVoS)
"Sister, that dress is headed for trouble and it's taking you with it." -Crow.
#316(GvZ)
"Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat."
-Tom Servo. #K07(GvG)
"Smucker's raspberry preserves..." -Joel. #211(FSoV) et al.
"So... apparently, the director has a girlfriend." -Mike. #605(CatH)
"Society didn't give me enough bullets!" -Tom Servo (as Mike). #522(TCW)
"Society owes me a Kit-Kat bar!" -Tom Servo (as Paula). #610(tVY)
"So, every time I eat a burger, an acre of this stuff disappears? I
don't understand..." -**. #203(JG)
"So far, there's not thing one wrong with this movie!" -Crow. #523(VotG)
"So, have I told you I have a man up in space?... No, literally -- I have a
man up in space." -Dr. Forrester. #404(TfOS)
"So, in a way, pain is good. Otherwise, we might be hurt and not know it
and die during social studies." -Tom Servo. #409(IM)
"So... I understand you two are untamed?..." -Joel (as Sheriff). #112(UY)
"So I was sitting by myself, and I said -- 'Spider'! Hahh hahh..." -Crow (as
the Sheriff). #313(EvtS)
"So long, chum!" -**. #315(TCM)
"So many children in needy families. Really bugs me." -Mike (as Mrs.
Parkins). #610(tVY)
"Someone with a really big butt sat there." -Tom Servo. #101(tCE)
"Something goofy this way comes..." -**. #315(TC) et al.
"Something there is that doesn't love a crummy monster film..." -Tom Servo.
#303(PP)
"Somewhere, a deer is smiling." -Mike. #522(TCW)
"Somewhere there's a warrant with his name on it. I'm sure of it." -Joel.
#321(SCCtM)
"Soon I will become King of the Urias. Who wants pancakes?" -Mike (as
Kermie). #605(CatH)
"Sooorrry, Mr. French..." -Tom Servo. #K09(CP)
"Sorry about the costume. Corman's poodle died, and he doesn't like to
waste anything." -Crow (as Stark). #317(VWatSS)
"Sorry about the tip; I left my money in my other -- uh, pocket..."
-TV's Frank. #422(tDtEF)
"Sorry, folks. Should've told you about the subplot. It even caught me,
the narrator, off guard." -Mike (as the Narrator). #606(tCT)
"Sorry, I'm gonna have to impale you, that's my job..." -Joel (as the Sea
Monster). #213(GvtSM)
"So, there's a subplot about a horseshoe, then?..." -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)
"So this guy comes in, stops the plot cold, then leaves??" -Crow. #510(L:tPH)
"Sounds like a deep midwestern alien." -**. #*
"Sounds like God picked up some extra bucks doing voice-overs." -Joel.
#505(tMVoS)
"Sounds like the foley guy's frying up a burger." -Crow. #404(TfOS)
"Sounds like your monster reads Frost." -Joel. #212(GvtSM)
"So what was that whole hitting-me-with-chains thing about?" -Crow (as Lee).
#403(CL)
"Spacemen just don't look at home in a breakfast nook." -Crow. #105(tCV)
"Spankin' time!" -Joel. #319(WotCB)
"Special agents are called in to slow the film down and grind it to a
screeching halt..." -Tom Servo. #205(RAUSA)
"Splash me on in the morning, wear the great smell of *me* all day long."
-Tom Servo (as Hercules). #410(HatMM)
"Spoken like a true fart." -Tom Servo (as Diamond Head). #608(CN:DH)
"Standard sitcom joke landing on runway seven..." -Crow. #610(tVY)
"Stand by to jettison tail section..." "Oh, wowwww..." -Hugh O'Brien/Joel.
#201(RXM)
"Start running, Frank..." -Dr. Forrester. #305(SiS)
"'Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came down from the stairwell...'" -**. #314(MJ)
et al.
"Stay away from those powerful hind legs, boys." -**. #316(GvZ)
"Stay together, cheeks..." -Tom Servo (as Maj. Baird). #319(WotCB) et al.
"Steve, have you ever really looked at a squirrel? I mean *really*, up
close." -Joel (as a Thug). #108(SP)
"Steve's dead now. From here on, Steve's death will be represented by the
oboe." -Tom Servo. #209(HC)
"Stock footage is hell." -Crow. #309(tACM)
"Stop saying 'whee!' Nobody says 'whee!'." -Tom Servo. #506(Eegah!)
"Stop wait come back..." -Tom Servo. #406(AotGL) et al.
"Store this image away for a later nightmare!" -Tom Servo. #422(tDtEF)
"'Stunned'?! He took six bullets!!" -**. #205(RAUSA)
"Stupid-Man! More powerful than an okie-motive..." -Crow. #402(tGGM)
"Suddenly *I'm* the jerk!" -**. #205(RAUSA)
"Sugar is the next best substitute for parental love!" -Dr. Forrester.
#417(CotM)
"SwitchERRRR!!" -Joel. #403(CL)
"Take her." "Here? In front of the circus people?" -Basil Rathbone/Crow (as
Sir Branton). #411(tMS)
"Take it to the bridge, Sinbad!... Drop it in the water..." -Crow. #505(tMVoS)
"Take me, you savage mousketeer!" -Crow (as Nancy). #523(VotG)
"Tang's gonna go take a powder... Wait a minute -- Tang *is* a powder!" -Crow.
#104(WotPP)
"Teat teat teat teat teat teat..." -Crow and Tom Servo. #516(AfLA)
"TELL HIM, GREG!!" -All. #112(UY)
"Tell him I'm smoking." -Tom Servo (as Steve Curran). #106(tCH)
"Tell me all about yourself." "Well, I don't have any bones, I'm all
cartilage..." -Sadie/Tom Servo (as Danny). #509(tGiLL)
"Thank god methane rises!" -Crow. #608(CN:DH)
"Thank god we have RADAR!" -Mike (as police captain). #522(TCW) et al.
"Thanks, Bob. You're real gone." "Thanks. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty
sure I'm right here." -Janey/Crow (as Bob). #112(UY)
"Thanks for almost killing me!" -**. #210(KD)
"Thanks for annihilating everything I know!" -Crow (as Joey the Lemur).
#210(KD)
"Thanks for comforting me with a gun." -Crow (as Nan). #406(AotGL)
"Thanks for hurling that gas bomb at me!" -Joel (as Hestia). #416(FMoOS)
"Thanks for providing the transition." -Tom Servo. #523(VotG)
"Thanks for the all-clear, Moneypenny." -Crow (as Ward). #508(OD007)
"Thanks for the character development." -Tom Servo. #415(The Beatniks)
"Thanks for the exposition." -**. #203(JG)
"THANK YOU!" -Drs. Erhardt and Forrester. #101(tCE) et al.
"Thank you for being gutless." -Crow (as head of NASA). #201(RXM)
"Thank you for extruding me." -Crow. #510(L:tPH)
"Thank you , Shoeshine Boy, you're humble and skeletal." -**. #110(RH)
"That bear has Hammer-pants on!" -Joel. #505(tMVoS)
"That blast to the face kinda helped her diction!" -**. #110(RH)
"That felt good... Now I'm going to turn my daughter into a woodchuck." -Tom
Servo (as Dr. Cameron). #103(MM)
"That guy's not even sexual enough to be a femme." -Mike. #522(TCW)
"That guy's uglier than a mud fence. He could make a train take a dirt
road." -Tom Servo. #107(RM)
"That had better be beer!" -Crow. #209(HC)
"That's a lot of fabric to wear on a cycle." -Crow. #403(CL)
"That's a pretty complex insult, for a drunk." -Crow. #407(tKS)
"That's a strange thing to wield." -**. #506(Eegah!)
"That's 40 pounds of butt in 30-pound butt capacity pants!" -Mike.
#515(tWWWoBW)
"That's me, except I'm moist." -Tom Servo. #420(HD)
"That's *Mister* Stinking-rotten-mouthpiece to you." -**. #409(IM)
"That square bugs me... he REALLY BUGS ME!!..." -Banjo. #207(WR)
"That's right; it's nature's own wiffle." -Crow. #511(Gunslinger)
"That's right, we're evil, EVIL!!!" -TV's Frank. #202(Sidehackers)
"That's the dullest thing you've ever said." -**. #418(AottEC)
"That's the most casually dressed monster I've ever seen." -Joel. #103(MM)
"That's the tee-shirt her mom got married in." -Joel. #109(PMB)
"That's what I want -- mummified and next to Stalin." -Crow. #511(Gunslinger)
"That turtle should be showing up any time now, shouldn't it?" -Tom Servo.
#K10(HW)
"That was about as painful as a cattle prod to the shoulder can get." -'Jack
Perkins'. #310(FA)
"That was no meteorite -- that was my wife!" -Crow. #310(FA)
"That was number five!" -the Hillbilly Thug. #202(Sidehackers)
"That was one wierd-ass movie." -Tom Servo. #509(tGiLL)
"The anti-missiles are loaded, sir." "Shhh! Later..." -Jerry/** (as **).
#314(MJ)
"The aorta makes an excellent sock puppet, and from here on will be
represented by the tympany." -Crow (as Dr. Raeburn). #206(RoT)
"The best beach party ever was the one at Normandy!" -TV's Frank. #204(CC)
"The best instruments are uniform -- every one is exactly like every other of
the same kind." "--Just like you and me!" -Narrator/Tom Servo (as
Narrator). #319(WotCB)
"The body sees a hernia as a series of ones and zeroes..." -Tom Servo (as
Doctor). #413(MiS)
"*The Box*, Frank, *The Box*!..." -Dr. Forrester. #422(tDtEF)
"The boys did *what*? They duplicated *Lumpy*?!?" -Crow (as Hugh Beaumont).
#420(HD)
"The boys in the press corps have nicknamed him 'The Golem'." -Crow. #201(RXM)
"The Cessna Skyhawk *is* usually your best choice for bombardiering
missions..." -Tom Servo. #108(SP)
"The cops ate my Chiclets!" -Joel (as Leland). #419(tRS)
"The drugs from the Chemical Wonderland start to kick in..." -Crow (as the
Narrator). #419(tRS)
"The first 10,000 lucky kids get slide whistles, and the second 10,000 lucky
kids get real brass knuckles. Then, the first 10,000 lucky kids become
unlucky..." -Dr. Forrester. #509(tGiLL)
"The fountain will spray out a substance which resembles blood, both in smell
and in taste." "Who tested it?" -Chuchumi/Tom Servo. #308(GvG)
"The four dullards of the apocalypse." -Tom Servo. #416(FMoOS)
"The gods were supposed to help me move last weekend!!" -Tom Servo (as
Ariel). #605(CatH)
"--the hell?!? Tom Servo, you're naked!" -Joel. #507(IAmP)
"...the helpless cough of a squirrel with a crushed face -- *that's* what
life's all about." -Joel (as Lorne Green guy). #303(PP)
"The horse must have eaten her!" -Tom Servo (as Dr. Scott). #113(BS)
"Their answer is summed up in two callous words:--" "'Bor-ing'." -Judge Clara/
Crow. #610(tVY)
"Their chances of being cool are ruined for life." -Crow. #320(The Unearthly)
"Their technology must be light-years ahead of ours! Their use of stock
footage is amazing!" -Joel. #104(WotPP)
"The 'K' stands for 'Karl'. Karl was the man who invented lightning." -Tom
Servo. #518(tAB)
"Thelma and Louise and -- Steve." -Mike. #522(TCW)
"The message is 'Hot, steamin' love -- Texas-style.'" -Joel (as Capt. Larson).
#416(FMoOS)
"The monster can destroy everything with its tongue." "*You* try saying
that without laughing." -Japanese General/Crow. #304(GvB)
"The name is *Jeffrey*, I happen to be *in* a helicopter." -Crow (as
Helicopter Pilot). #517(tBotE)
"The night, the monster, and thou." -Crow (as Prof. Strowsky). #423(BotM)
"Then, suddenly, it starts to get wierd. The rules change..." -TV's Frank.
#321(SCCtM)
"Then you will sign this lady's death warrant!" "Sure. Got a pen?" -Fu
Manchu/Tom Servo (as Kessler). #323(CoFM)
"The oldest cliche in the movies -- 'they're doomed'." -**. #506(Eegah!)
"The Pant Association urges you to wear pants at least three times a day!"
-Joel. #410(HatMM)
"The plot thickens -- like rancid pea soup..." -Tom Servo. #K10(HW)
"The problem of communicating with the departed--" "--is that they're dead."
-Krasker/Tom Servo (as Krasker). #603(tDTB)
"There are no small laws, just small criminals." -Tom Servo. #419(tRS)
"There are times when a man needs the touch of a llama." -Crow (as Dr.
Bradford). #606(tCT)
"The reason Miss van Horn is making this trip is because of her pioneering
research with monatomic hydrogen." "And, she's cute as a button." -Hugh
O'Brien/Crow. #201(RXM)
"The remaining monkey brains have been reduced to $1.99." -Crow (as **).
#508(OD007)
"There, I just marked our territory." -Joel (as the Fat Japanese Comic-Relief
guy). #308(GvG)
"There is an audible thud every time he tells a joke." -Crow. #610(tVY)
"There's a bonus if you get killed." -Joel (as Mr. Roundtree). #109(PMB)
"There's an angry black gentleman on line one..." -Crow (as the Lunar
Switchboard Operator). #211(FSoV)
"There's just something about that guy that screams 'I'm not really a cop'."
-Crow. #207(WR)
"There's no need to be formal, Mr. Martin. Please -- take off your pants."
-Joel (as Prof. von Dornheimer). #420(tHD)
"There's no steam in a vaccuum!" -Tom Servo. #524(12ttM)
"There's nothing like being in a gunfight with 600 pounds of high-test
nitro rocket fuel on your back..." -Joel. #108(SP)
"There's one ball of titanium that's not to be trifled with." -Joel. #K09(CP)
"There! Your announcer feels vindicated. This is extremely horrible!" -Tom
Servo (as the Narrator). #421(MaGG)
"These guys are aggressively incompetent." -Tom Servo. #406(AotGL)
"These guys are really easy to kill!" -Joel. #323(CoFM)
"These two girls they make quite a pair/ They both come from your worst
nightmare/ They will haunt your soul forever/ And now, when you see pink,
you're gonna think, 'We're doomed!'/ They are agents of Satan..." -Tom
Servo. #421(MaGG)
"The sphere is turning red!" "Well, wouldn't yours?" -Orloff/Tom Servo.
#211(FSoV)
"The storm god sits quietly with his napkin in his lap, num-num-num." -Crow.
#317(VWatSS)
"The tranquility of post-war Japan?!?" -Joel. #322(MN1)
"The unspoken language of bald men!" -**. #418(AottEC)
"The U.S.A. makes the best damn Sampos on the market, and I mean *nobody's*
gonna change that!" -Tom Servo. #422(tDtEF)
"The White Rock Cafe, where whitey comes to drink and dance!" -**. #418(AottEC)
"They can't be very intelligent -- look what they're flying!" -Crow. #K09(CP)
"They just didn't care!" -**. #418(AottEC)
"They just put a bunch of movies in a blender and pressed the 'mix' button!"
-Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)
"They killed H.R. Puffinstuff!" -Joel. #317(VWatSS)
"They killed off the only likeable character!" -Crow. #402(tGGM)
"They never explained the blond wigs. I don't get that." -Joel. #310(FA)
"They're Corn Czechs!" -Tom Servo. #K10(HW)
"They're doing a nickel at UPS!" -**. #503(SD)
"They're doing it clown style!! Noooo!..." -Tom Servo. #422(tDtEF)
"They're going to invoke the spirit of the continuity man." -Crow. #609(tSD)
"They're like Klingons without the Kling." -Joel. #104(WotPP)
"They're making pretty good time, considering this is a Lippert film." -Tom
Servo. #210(KD)