(Cut to interior of SOL where TOM and CROW are playing a game of
some sort. CROW has several square shaped cards and Monopoly money
in one of his hands. In front of TOM is a "T" shaped stand with a
large,
rectangular sheet of paper hanging down from one side and several
property deeds on the other. Two boards, Monopoly and Clue, are side
by
side between the BOTS with pieces from both games intermixed on the
boards.)
TOM (studying the piece of paper, which we now recognize as a
checklist
from Clue): Hmm...
CROW: Come on, Tom, move already.
TOM: I'm thinking, Crow.
CROW: (Sighs)
(MIKE enters, standing between the BOTS. He looks at boards, confused
and curious. He then glances at TOM, then CROW, and back to TOM
again.)
MIKE: Uh... hi, guys, what are you doing?
CROW: Oh, hi Mike! We were digging around through one of the storage
closets in the lower decks and found some old board games.
TOM (looking up briefly from the checklist): We tried playing them but
they were too boring and simple for our advanced, robotic intellect.
CROW: And so, we decided to combine some of them and make up our
own game.
MIKE: Ahhh.... That sounds... interesting.
(MIKE stares at the boards, trying to figure out how the two games
could
possibly be combined.)
MIKE: Uh... so, is this... "new" game interesting for you guys?
CROW: Well, it probably *would* be if SOMEONE would move!
(Commercial sign light flashes.)
MIKE: Well, maybe he'll be ready when we come back... (Presses button)
(COMMERCIALS)
(Cut to interior of SOL, where Crow is humming, obviously bored, while
TOM continues to stare at the checklist.)
TOM (looks up abruptly): Okay, I'm ready!
CROW: Finally!
TOM (clears throat): Okay... I'm betting two thousand dollars that
(dramatic pause) Professor Plum killed... The Dog with... The Car *on*
Illinois Ave!
(Punctuating Tom's accusation, we hear the familiar "stinger" to
Dragnet.
MIKE looks about, confused, trying to figure where the sound came
from.
The BOTS, however, give off no reaction, having either not heard the
sound, or are too familiar with its hidden source to be interested in
it.)
CROW: Okay, Tom... we'll see if you're right.
(CROW gesturing at the center of the boards.)
CROW: Uh Mike, could you pick up the manila envelope marked
"confidential" for me?
MIKE: Uh sure Crow... (Points) This thing right here?
CROW: Yes, Mike. Thank you. Just open it up, but don't show us the
cards...
MIKE: Okay. No prob.
(Mike reaches down, picks up the small sealed envelope. He opens it
and
takes out several cards, shielding them from both TOM And CROW's
view. He stares at them for a second, his face twisting in
confusion.)
MIKE: Uh, guys... these cards are from *Risk*.
TOM: Doh!
CROW: Haha! You're out one two grand, TOM! HAHA, now it's MY
turn!
(MIKE stares at CROW, even more confused, while TOM grumbles to
himself.)
CROW: Okay... my turn! I think I'll buy the candlestick for five
hundred
dollars and put up a hotel in the far corner of the Kitchen.
TOM: Now, wait a second, Crow! Your figure is in Billiards Room! You
can't buy a hotel unless you're in the hallway, library, visiting
jail, Chance,
Free Parking, a green, yellow, orange or light blue property, Chance
or
Free Parking!
CROW: Oh yeah... forgot about that...
MIKE: Uh.. You know, guys, this game seems really complicated.
CROW: Well, maybe for you Mike.
MIKE (turns to CROW, miffed at his comment): Hey!
(Light flashes)
MIKE: Oh wait, Larry, Moe, and Curly are calling.
(MIKE presses the button.)
(Castle Forrester.)
(PEARL, BOBO, and OBSERVER are standing about. Pearl has a rather
wicked smile on her face.)
PEARL: Ahh.. Nelson. Have we got a rather nasty treat for you this
week.
I had Brain Guy here do a search for something really horrible and
confusing to help speed along the inevitable process of your will
being
crushed. Tell him about what you found, Brain Guy.
(OBSERVER smiles and steps forward.)
OBSERVER: Your experiment this week will be a little story called
"Hurricane's Revenge" by one Aaron Thall. Not only is it a comic
fanfic,
but it also comes from the rather odd, confusing, and continuityless
mailing
list of X-Wars.
(SOL)
MIKE: "X-Wars"?
TOM: Hey, I've heard about that group, Mike. It's like, this group of
comic book fans, who among other things, build a world based in part
on
Marvel comics. They even control various characters and write stories
about them. Some even make up their own super heroes. They have
their
own teams and everything.
CROW: In other words, a bunch of people with no lives that like to
think
that rehashing comic characters from different companies, slapping
them
together, and trying to make a coherent story is being creative...
TOM: Well anyway... I was on the list for a brief period of time.
However,
I kept getting about over 300 messages a day, so I eventually had to
drop
the list as my mail server couldn't hold it.
MIKE: Three hundred messages a day? Geeze, I hope they all weren't
from the same person.
CROW: You're right Tom, I'll take back my "no lives" comment. People
who can spend that much time writing letters to lists on comic stories
that
don't even exists in the *real* world certainly have fulfilling
existences...
(Castle Forrester)
OBSERVER: Well, anyway... that is your experiment for this week.
Enjoy!
(SOL)
(Lights flash and alarm sounds)
MIKE: Uh-oh, we got fanfic sign!!
(MIKE and the BOTS run off screen as the door sequences begins.)
(Theater)
(MIKE enters carrying TOM as CROW follows. They sit as the fanfic
begins.)
> "Hurricane's Revenge"
CROW: Uh-oh, I think this is the sequel to Twister...
ALL: NOOO!!
> by Aaron Thall
MIKE: Thall? Hmm... You know, I think there's a cough drop named
after this guy...
> and Jason Deshayes
TOM (as Herve Villechaize): De Shayes! De Shayes!
> Tornado, Rainbow, Tiger,
ALL (singing): And Bear, oh my!
> Hurricane(2),
MIKE: Hurricane(2)??
CROW: You mean this guy couldn't even come up with a different name
for two of his characters?
MIKE: Maybe it means Hurricane the Second or something...
TOM: Hmm.. somehow Mike, I don't think people with names like
"Hurricane" should be breeding..
CROW: This is NOT a good way to start out.....
> and Deathsparkle are property of
MIKE: Deathsparkle. Now there's a name that inspires terror.
TOM (villainous voice): Cross me and face the wrath of my Sparkle
thingies!
CROW: I wonder what his power is. Can he conjure up hordes of evil
fireflies to annoy you to death?
TOM: Actually guys, I believe that DeathSparkle is an evil version of
Jubilee from the Age of Apocalypse..
MIKE (groans): Oh... not another story with evil twins from
alternative
dimensions.
CROW (falsetto): I'm like, gonna kill you... Just as soon as I like,
finish
painting my nails....
> Aaron Thall.
> Any other characters not recognized in the Marvel Universe
MIKE: Or in any other REAL comic book company...
CROW: Marvel a real comic book company? Now's that debatable..
TOM: Hey!
> are the property of their namesake on the X-wars mailing list.
> All other characters including Sinister and Jubilee are property of Marvel
> Comics, and are used without permission.
CROW: Permission? We don't need no stinkin' permission!
> Chapter One: The Arrival
CROW: Starring Charlie Sheen!
MIKE: And a lot of bad haircuts!
> Sitting at his massive computer bank, Sinister
CROW: ...downloads a lot of dirty pictures.
MIKE: Pot and the kettle, Crow.
CROW: Wait, how did you find that directory, Mike, I thought I hid it!
MIKE (pause): Uh.. I was joking, Crow..
CROW: Oh.. Uh.. Yeah.. haha.. Funny, huh? (Clears throat)
(MIKE and TOM look at CROW, who avoids their gaze. MIKE shrugs
and he and TOM turn back to the screen...)
> wonders if he can find any new mutants to join his legion of terror, the
> Chosen.
> "Mmm. Tornado could have joined my Chosen, but he wanted to
> become Generation Next-er.
TOM (Sinister): Damn the allure of Pepsi and the Spice Girls!
> Doesn't matter. Wait, what's this?!" Sinister says to himself as his
> computer alerts him of
CROW: A bad fanfic?
> two new precesses.
> "Finally! Two neophytes
TOM: "Neophytes"??
CROW (announcer): When authors run amok with thesauruses on the next
Donnahue.
> that have incredible
CROW: (coughs)
MIKE: Come on, guys, let's not take the easy ones....
> mutant powers! It seems that one is a pyrotechnic,
TOM: Does that mean he repairs burning buildings?
> and the other has control
> over part of the elements.
CROW: Yeah, we can summon pizza on command!
MIKE: Pizza isn't a element, Crow.
TOM: Sure it is, Mike! Haven't you ever played Quest for Glory?
MIKE (sighing): Forget it.....
> Interesting.
TOM: That's not the word I would have chosen to describe them....
MIKE: You know, for once I'd like to see some mutant on a computer
call
up the specs on a potential recruit, look at his powers, and say,
"Nahh.. We
already got one of those..." And just hit the "Delete" button.
CROW: Well, that'd be one less poorly defined character we'd have to
deal
with...
> Computer! Open the
> tesseract to their coordinates."
> The tesseract shatters space
TOM: Guess that's seven years bad luck...
> where the neophytes, Hurricane and
> Deathsparkle, are talking. "You there.
TOM ("upper class" tone): Do you have any Grey Poupon?
> I am the one called Sinister.
MIKE: But you can call me "Al".
> I have come to ask you to join my loyal legion of terror, the Chosen.
MIKE: If Sinister tries to impress these guys by going, "Ho! Ha!
Parry!
Dart! Spin!" I'm outta here!
BOTS: Me too!
> You have incredible powers that should be used to help yourself.
MIKE: If their powers should be used to help THEMSELVES then why
would they want to join Sinister's group?
CROW: Quit thinking, Mike, you're ruining the story.
MIKE: Sorry.
> All you have to say is...yes, and you're in," Sinister offers the two.
TOM: Wow. Admission standards like that I'll bet even you could join
this guy's group, Mike.
MIKE: Yeah, I probably cou-HEY!
> The mutants think about it shortly, and give their answer to the
dark
> immortal mutant.
TOM (Hurricane): So what do you think?
CROW (Deathsparkle): Well, I've always wanted to work with some
pasty-faced guy with a Lucky Charms tattoo and his forehead... Sure,
why not?
> "Of course, my liege. The Chosen sound like a perfect
> way to get what we want..."
CROW (singing falsetto) : What we really, really want...
MIKE: Shut up, Crow, that is NOT funny!
CROW: Sorry...
> As soon as he heard their answer, Sinister turns to the portal and
> requests
MIKE: "My Heart Will Go On"?
ALL: NOOOO!!
> the neophytes to come with him. They come, yet Sinister doesn't see
> the two smile, with deception and treachery in their minds...
MIKE: Boy, it's amazing how with that computer and all his knowledge
he's really this dumb and trusting...
TOM: It's called plot advancement Mike. Fanfic authors in general
hate to
waste time with character development. It's much easier to slap in
some
exposition...
MIKE: Ahhh....
> Chapter 2: Bitter Memories
MIKE: If this were my autobiography, this would be the title chapter
for
my junior high years...
> The Generation Next HQ.
> The mutant known as Tornado keeps
TOM: Forgetting to put down the toilet seat. And boy is his wife
angry!
> vigil over the security
> monitors.
MIKE He wants to make sure no one steals the security monitors?
CROW: Yeah, that happens a lot these days...
TOM: You know, speaking of such, I don't know what would be worse, if
someone attempted to rob a security alarms store and they got caught,
or
someone attempted to rob an security alarm store and they got AWAY.
MIKE: Good question...
> "Man I wish the others were here! I'd give anything to be out
> there where
CROW: ...dreams come true?
> the action is. Heck, anything's better than
CROW: Internet fan-fiction?
MIKE: That was cruel, Crow.
CROW: Sorry.
> security
> detail!"
MIKE: Spoken by someone who's never worked in fast food.
> He picks
CROW: His nose?
> up a picture of his partner Jubilee and his two cats:
> Rainbow and Tiger.
TOM: Oh wait, I'm confused...
CROW: Not surprising, considering how vaguely written this is...
MIKE: Quiet Crow. Go ahead, Tom...
TOM: Okay, let me get this straight, he picked up a picture of
Jubilee and
he picked up his two cats?
MIKE: Uh.. no.. I think he picked up a picture of Jubilee and a
PICTURE
of his two cats...
CROW: Wait, Mike, now I'M confused, you saying he's got THREE
pictures in his hand right?
MIKE: Uh.. I think it's just ONE picture of all three of them...
CROW and TOM: Oh...
> "I wish you guys were here. Instead of being out there
> somewhere..."
MIKE: Over the rainbow?
> He puts the picture down and gets up.
TOM: AGAIN forgetting to put down the toilet seat.
CROW: And to flush!
MIKE (Ernest): EWWWWWW.
> "About all that's gone right is that there's been no sign of
> trouble for a week, and I don't like it.
TOM (Tornado): I... just... gotta.... HIT something!
> It's always when you least expect
> something to go wrong that it does."
MIKE ("older woman" voice): Oh, the youth of today is just sooo
negative.
> His thoughts go back two years, to when Jubilee's parents died and
> she disappeared. He remembered his Father and Mother burn alive
CROW: His mother and father were named "Burn Alive"?
TOM: Well, it's a better name than "X-Posse".
> at the
> hands of his uncle Magneto.
CROW: Uncle Magneto?? Hmm.. That make sense. Never mind
Magneto's
entire family was killed in the Holocaust.
TOM: This is an alternate universe, Crow, you can have plot changes
galore and claim it's all the result of the vast changes in this
particular
world's history.
CROW: Don't remind me....
> He recalls his ninja training at the hands of
> Gin Soun,
MIKE: Gin Soun? I think we used to drink those at frat parties back
when
I was in college...
TOM: You mean for the whole *semester* that you were in college?
MIKE: Yeah... HEY!
> the expatriate Hand Ninja Master.
TOM: "Hand Ninja"?
MIKE: Too easy, Tom....
> Tornado, better known as Aaron Thall to his friends,
MIKE (completely sarcastic): Oh wow. The guy who wrote this is
actually
a superhero.
> sits down
> once more as he remembers more recent events. He thinks back to
> Avalon's destruction, and how he thought that just when the nightmare
> was over...
MIKE: Someone wrote a sequel!
TOM ("crazy" tone): Cause let's face it, baby, these days, you just
GOTTA
have a sequel!
> he was recruited by Bastion's Operation: Zero Tolerance.
TOM: Isn't that a militia group in North Carolina?
> Why can't I remember everything about that? he wonders. Why
would
> Bastion mess around with my memories?
MIKE: So there can be more convoluted fanfics, that's why!
> I guess it doesn't matter.
CROW: Yeah, a little amnesia never killed anyone...
MIKE: Uh... is THIS foreshadowing?
TOM: Nope, just a future plot device...
> He starts pacing around the room. He embraces
MIKE: His inner child.
> the memories
> of being reunited with Jubilee, and how, as partners, they had not only
> made the world safer for mutants, but had forced Graydon Creed to
> drop out of the Presidential Race due to their popularity.
CROW: Tornado and Jubilee ran for President? Thought you had to be 35
to do that...
TOM: And to think, all they *really* had to do was point out that
Creed
was born in Canada...
> "If only I knew where you were Jube. If only I could tell you how I
> really feel about you..."
> A distant rumbling distracts Tornado from his thoughts. It gets
> louder, and louder, and louder,
CROW: And louder, and louder, AND LOUDER!
TOM: I admit the deed!! Tear up the planks!!! It is the hideous
beating of
his heart!!
> until it becomes a deafening roar. The walls
> shake, the floor trembles, and he quickly realizes what is happening.
MIKE: He's stuck in a Quiet Riot video!
> "I have to get out!"
TOM: I've been thinking the same thing since this story began....
> He presses a button on a special watch given to him by the Zeo
> Rangers and vanishes in a collum of bright, white light. He
> re-materializes outside Gen Next's HQ as...
MIKE: WHAT??
TOM: Oh yeah, guys, I forgot to mention that. One of the X-Wars
subscribers put in the Power Rangers as his characters...
MIKE: You could have warned us Tom.
TOM: Sorry....
> "It's falling apart! Like a cheap set of Lincoln Logs!"
TOM: Hmm.. The only home he's ever known and that's all he can say on
seeing it abruptly destroyed?
Mike: He must be related to Lance Fuller....
> He surveys the rubble of what was once a haven. And he quickly
> identifies the person responsible for the devastation. A single word
> forms his lips as he pulls his now shattered picture from the rubble...
> "Hurricane."
ALL: Dun, dah dun dun.... dun dah dun dun DAHHH!
> Chapter 3: Questioning Actions...
CROW: The Ken Starr story!
> "Mmmm. Where are those neophytes? I am in need of them.
TOM (Sinister): I have to move this couch...
> Computer! Locate designate: Hurricane and designate: Deathsparkle."
> While the computer humms,
MIKE: The computer's forgotten the lyrics again..
> using its powerful scanners to locate the
> mutant, Sinister wonders about his new recruits.
TOM: Oh gee, he's just NOW starting to wonder about them?
> "They look very similar to some other mutants, and their powers
> are similar as well, but much more
TOM: Convoluted?
MIKE: You're thinking of this story as a whole, Tom.
TOM: Oh yeah...
> powerful. Computer! Where are is
> Hurricane and his companion?!"
CROW: The computer must have ADD, he had to tell it TWICE to find
these guys...
> "Hurricane and Deathsparkle are at cooridinates 821 X 343." the
> dull computer voice answers.
CROW: The computer voice isn't the only thing here that's dull.
> "Interesting...the Generation Next citadel. Computer run bio-scans on
> designates Tornado, Hurricane, Jubilee, and Deathsparkle, then
> compare the scans."
> Opening a hail to the Citadel, Sinister wonders why there is no
> answer. "Looks like I need to take action," Sinister tells himself.
> Waiting quietly for the bio-scan results, Sinister tries to remember
> where he has seen Hurricane and Deathsparkle.
CROW (Alicia Silverstone): Like duh, in the first chapter...
> But then, his concentration is shattered
CROW (singing): Shattered!
> by the computerized voice...
> "Bio-scans are complete. Designates: Jubilee and Deathsparkle are
TOM: Plot devices!
> identical. As are designates: Tornado and Hurricane. Possible
> conclusions for this situation: Alternate dimension, most likely the
> Age >of Apocalypse judging by the power levels of the two alternate
> mutants..."
MIKE: And by the fact that it's the most popular "alternate dimension"
out
there...
CROW: Ah, it's neat how this computer knows some much and can do all
these neat things.
TOM: Maybe's he's running Windows 2022. Gates is always claiming
he'll
know everything by that year...
MIKE (as salesman): This computer is top of line. It'll handle all
your
exposition needs for any fanfic!!
> Surprised by the results, Sinister wonders what Hurricane and
> Deathsparkle are doing
CROW: Not gonna say it... That'd be too easy...
> at the Gen Next Citadel.
> "Fascinating... This could prove interesting."
> Sinister scans the area
ALL: AHHHH!!
> of the Gen NeXt citadel.
ALL (sigh of relief): Phew....
> "Current stasis of area."
> "The Generation NeXt citadel has been dismantled."
> "Life signs?"
MIKE (Computer): None, I'm just a computer, remember?
> "Three. Mutant designates: Hurricane, Deathsparkle, and Tornado."
> "Put it on the viewer. I am in need of some entertainment."
CROW (Sinister): And the cable is on the blink tonight....
MIKE: Hey, look, the doors are open!
BOTS: Woo-hoo!
CROW: Let's book, guys!
(MIKE and the BOTS exit the theather.)
(SOL CROW and TOM are standing next to a familiar gold colored
"chamber" of sorts, which we may remember as the time machine from
"Terror From the Year 5000". TOM is muttering to himself as he
glances
at several recently added dials and buttons. CROW stands nearby,
watching
him with some interest.)
CROW: Anything yet?
TOM: No, not yet, CROW. Must have been a delay somewhere.
CROW: Boy, even in the future, the postal service is still slow...
(MIKE enters and stands between the BOTS. He glances at the machine.)
MIKE: Hey guys, what's going on?
TOM: Oh hey, Mike! I'm sure you recognize the device he have here,
don't
ya?
MIKE: Of course I do, Tom. That's the time machine I built several
months back so Crow could go back to earth and tell my family that I
was
okay....
(Mike turns to CROW, his tone becoming slightly bitter.)
MIKE: Which he FORGOT to do, despite spending ELEVEN years with
my family!
CROW: Oh, come on, Mike, you're not still angry about that are ya?
MIKE: Well, you forgetting about me I don't mind... at least, not as
much
as you putting the moves on my girlfriend.
(MIKE becomes noticeably sad. He buries his face in his hands, on the
verge of tears.)
CROW: Oh, don't worry about that, Mike! Nothing really happened
between us. In fact, she still had your picture on the wall the whole
time I
was on earth!
(MIKE, instantly brightens and looks at CROW.)
MIKE: Really??
CROW: Yeah!
(Mike smiles.)
MIKE: Wow.
CROW (low whisper): Although, granted, she did take it off the wall
and
hide it every time I came over to visit...
(MIKE's face falls.)
MIKE: Oh. no.... Ginger...
(MIKE places his head on table and covers it with his arms. His body
shakes as he weeps loudly.)
TOM: Oh, way to go, Crow!
CROW: What? What'd I say?
(MIKE continues to cry for several seconds as the BOTS stare at him.)
TOM: Uh.. Mike...
(No response.)
TOM (a little louder): Mike?
(Still no response.)
TOM: MIKE!
(MIKE looks up, his eyes red.)
MIKE: Yeah?
TOM (gesturing to the time machine): Do you notice anything different?
(MIKE stands and glances over at the machine.)
MIKE (his tone suddenly normal): Why, yeah, come to think of it, it
does
look kinda different. What are you guys up to, anyway?
TOM: Ahhh... well, I'm glad you asked Mike. You see, I got to
thinking
how great it'd be if WE had a powerful, all knowing computer like the
one
Sinister has in this story.
CROW: Yeah, maybe it could even tell us how to get off to the
satellite
and back on earth.
TOM: So, I had CROW here make some modifications to the time machine
'cause, as you already know, my arms don't work that great.
MIKE: Well, that's neat. So what are these modifications for?
TOM: Well, Mike, they're basically to help us try and find someone
from
the future who'd be willing to sell us a computer like the one in
today's
story.
CROW: Yeah, we started out talking to some friends in the year 2056,
but
the computers of their era weren't quite as advanced as we needed.
TOM: So they referred us to some friends of their from the year 3145,
who, in turn, referred us to some of their friends from the year 4008.
CROW: We've been sending off letters and order forms left and right,
playing inter-time equivalent to telephone tag all day.
TOM: Finally, though, we were able to find someone from the year 3342
who was welling to sell us one of their old computers for a small fee.
We
sent them their payment and now we're waiting for our new computer to
arrive.
MIKE: Wait a minute, you guys didn't go and max out my credit cards
again?
CROW: Oh, don't be silly Mike!
TOM: Yeah, the people from year 3000 on up have evolved *beyond* the
need for monetary gain. They wanted payment in other forms...
MIKE: Uh.. like what?
CROW: Well, Mike, it seems that by the year 3010 most of the
population
of earth is comprised of clones and genetically enhanced super people.
TOM: And, as such, they needed fresh DNA to help propagate the human
species.
CROW: Now, with us being robots and all, we couldn't send them OUR
DNA, being as we don't have any, so we sent them yours.
MIKE: Oh, well that's... say what?!?
TOM: Don't worry, Mike. For the most part we only took stuff that you
wouldn't miss.
CROW: Yeah, things like your finger and toenail clippings, pieces of
hair
from you combs and hairbrushes, and the little flakes of dandruff that
were
all over your pillow...
TOM: And think of it, Mike, you're helping to restock the human race
of a
time yet to come! You're a hero to a generation of people who aren't
even
born.
(MIKE pauses, digesting all of this...)
MIKE: Oh... well, I guess that's a good thing... What a minute, what
did
you mean by that "for the *most* part", bit?
TOM: Well uh...
CROW: You see, Mike, we couldn't get all the DNA samples we needed
from just the little bits of hair and clippings that we found on the
floor of
your room and stuff...
TOM: So we gave you an ever so *slight* hair cut...
MIKE: You did what?!?
(MIKE feels the top of his head, and then runs his hand down the back.
Upon touching the back of his head, his face freezes for a second. He
then
screams loudly He turns around, and, for the first time, we see the
back of
his head, which has been COMPLETELY shaved of hair.)
MIKE (turning back around): AHH!!! What did you guys DO to me?
TOM: Now, don't worry, Mike, it'll grow back in a few months.
MIKE (shaking in anger): You... little....
TOM: Oh, uh, Tom, he's got that look. We'd better get out of here....
(Commercial light flashes.)
CROW: Mike, look! Commercial sign!
(MIKE turns, seeing the flashing light. CROW and TOM take MIKE's
moment of distraction as their chance to exit, which they hastily do.)
MIKE (looking at Cambot): We'll be right back...
(Slams the button hard and then storms off.)
MIKE (OS): Come back here you little....
(COMMERCIALS)