MiSTing "The Odessey" (pt.8a)
Tjats
(Yes, after two weeks, here's the continuation!)
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Mike, the 'Bots, Pearl, Observer, and Bobo enter the theater. Since we only
normaly see five seats, the theater has shrunk to include six.
Pearl: Brain Guy, you are SO dead when we get back!
Observer: Sorry, madam.
>From every side they came and sought the pit
>with rustling cries; and I grew sick with fear.
>But presently I gave command to my officers
>to flay those sheep the bronze cut down, and make
>burnt offerings of flesh to the gods below-
Mike[as gods]: Uh, really, that's not necesary, well, okay.
>to sovereign Death, to pale Persephone.
>Meanwhile I crouched with my drawn sword to keep
>the surging phantoms from the bloody pit
All but Pearl: SURGEing phantoms!
>till I should know the presence of Tiresias.
>
>One shade came first-
Tom: A lampshade.
>Elpenor, of our company,
>who lay unburied still on the wide earth
Bobo[as Odysseus]: Elpenor, what are you doing? Get back in the boat!
>as we had left him-dead in Circe's hall,
Mike: I think old Fitzie left a couple thousand parts of this epic out.
Crow: Can you blame him?
>untouched, unmourned, when other cares compelled us.
>Now when I saw him there I wept for pity
>and called out to him:
>
>'How is this, Elpenor, how could you journey to the western gloom
>swifter afoot than I in the black lugger?'
>He sighed, and answered:
>
>'Son of great Laertes,
Observer: your table is ready.
>Odysseus, master mariner and soldier,
>bad luck shadowed me, and no kindly power;
Pearl: So, a black cat with Hitler's face followed him?
>ignoble death I drank with so much wine.
>I slept on Circe's roof, then could not see
>the long steep backward ladder, coming down,
>and fell that height. My neckbone, buckled under,
>snapped, and my spirit found this well of dark.
Mike[as Odysseus]: Come on, Elpenor. Tim Allen's done that hundreds of times,
and you died?
>Now hear the grace I pray for, in the name
>of those back in the world, not here-your wife
>and father, he who gave you bread in childhood,
>and your own child, your only son, Telemachus,
>long ago left at home.
>When you made sail and put these lodgins of dim Death behind,
>you will moor ship, I know, upon Aeaea Island;
Crow: I other words, 'beach it'.
>there, O my lord,
Bobo[as Odysseus]: No, I'm Odysseus.
>remember me, I pray, do not abandon me unwept, unburied,
>to tempt the god's wrath, while you sail for home;
>but fire my corpse, and all the gear I had,
>and build a cairn for me above the breakers-
>and unknown sailor's mark for men to come.
>Heap up the mound there, and implant upon it
Observer: Now they're talking about implants? This is worse than I thought!
>the oar I pulled in life with my companions.'
Crow: In other words, dump rocks on my body and stick an oar through 'em.
>
>He ceaced, and I relied:
>
>'Unhappy spirit, I promise you the barrow and the burial.'
>
>So we conversed, and grimly, at a distance,
>with my long sword between, guarding the blood,
>while the faint image of the lad spoke on.
>Now came the soul of Anticlea, dead,
>my mother, daughter of Autolycus,
Mike: Who was an old car salesman.
>dead now, though living still when I took ship
>for holy Troy. Seeing this ghost I
Pearl: called the Ghostbusters.
>but held her off, through pang on pang of tears,
>till I should know the presence of Tiresias.
>Soon from the dark that prince of Thebes came forward
>bearing a golden staff; and he addressed me:
>
>'Son of Laertes and the gods of old,
>Odysseus, master of landways and seaways,
>why leave the blazing sun, O man of woe,
>see the cold dead and the joyless region?
Crow: Of what?
>Stand clear, put up your sword;
>let me but taste the blood, I shall speak true.'
(continued)