[MSTing] Knight Rider: "Trust Doesn't Rust" (2/4)
Craig J. Clark
> ACT TWO
>
> FADE IN
>
> EXT. FOUNDATION - DAY - STOCK
>
> DEVON'S VOICE
> That was the hospital, Michael....
MIKE: [as Michael] "It looked like the phone to me."
> INT. DEVON'S OFFICE - DAY
>
> Michael and Bonnie wait as Devon hangs up the phone,
> continues.
TOM: [as Bonnie] "Man, will you finish hanging up the phone already?"
MIKE: [as Michael] "Anything to pad his screen time."
>
> DEVON
> The security guard is still uncon-
> scious, but he's out of danger.
TOM: But what about Tony and Rev? Are they in danger? I need to
know!
> In an hour or two he should be able to
> give you a statement.
>
> MICHAEL
> I'll settle for a statement from you.
MIKE: [as Michael] "What's my account balance?"
> DEVON
> I beg your pardon?
>
> MICHAEL
> Why wasn't I told about this other
> car?
CROW: [as Devon] "Because it's all in the past. That other car meant
nothing to me. It's Kitt that I love. Can't you see that?"
> DEVON
> Michael, please ---
>
> MICHAEL
> I had a right to know!
>
> DEVON
> Yes, you certainly did...let me
> explain.
>
> Devon stops, takes a breath. These are painful memories.
TOM: Come on, Devon. Open up. Share your pain with us.
MIKE: Or at least share the backstory.
> DEVON
> Two weeks before we found you in the
> desert, near death, Wilton activated
> the crowning invention of his life....
CROW: [as Devon] "The everlasting gobstopper."
> MICHAEL
> Kitt?
>
> DEVON
> No...Karr....
>
> MICHAEL
> Karr?
MIKE: How does he know how it's spelled?
> DEVON
> 'Knight Automated Roving Robot'...
> Wilton's sobriquet for his prototype
> vehicle.
TOM: It was a charcoal sobriquet, but it didn't light very well.
> MICHAEL
> I like 'Kitt' better.
CROW: Suck up.
> DEVON
> You can say that again. Kitt's
> primary function is to serve you...and
> protect you from harm....
TOM: Asimov's First Law in action, folks.
> BONNIE
> But Karr...the earlier model...had
> no such programming. Instead, self
> preservation was its primary
> function.
TOM: And we have his Third Law. Do I hear a Second?
> MICHAEL
> And that was a mistake?
>
> DEVON
> A major one.
MIKE: [as Devon] "Like my agreeing to appear in 'Megaforce.'"
> MICHAEL
> Like not telling me about all this?
>
> BONNIE
> Don't look at me...before my time.
TOM: But she knows all about Karr's programming.
> DEVON
> Michael, please...consider the
> circumstances...Just as Wilton
> realized he'd erred by not
> programming Karr properly, his
> company was almost toppled from
> within...
MIKE: He'd made the mistake of building his company out of Jenga
blocks.
CROW: Makes a lot of dumb mistakes for a genius, doesn't he?
> by the same people who left
> you for dead on that desert highway
> ...In the turmoil to save your life
MIKE: Boy, they screwed that up.
> and build a safer car, the earlier
> model was put in storage. I
> thought Wilton had had it dismantled
> before he died...obviously, I was
> wrong.
TOM: Yeah, obviously. Now when are they going to cut back to Rev and
Tony? I gotta know what happened to them!
> MICHAEL
> Okay...okay...I'm sorry I jumped on
> you...
MIKE: [as Michael] "Is your back okay?"
> but I still don't see why one
> simple computer program makes so
> much difference.
CROW: This guy's obviously never heard of a little program called
Pong.
> BONNIE
> Michael, Kitt's primary function --
> to protect human life -- is for want
> of a better word -- altruistic.
>
> DEVON
> But Karr -- without that programming
> -- is self-serving
MIKE: [as Michael] "Meanwhile, I have to get out and pump Kitt's gas
for him."
TOM: [as Kitt] "Would you rather I try to run you down on a regular
basis?"
> ...almost animalistic in nature.
CROW: Its radiator fluid is even an animalistic yellow.
> And devoid as it is
> of a conscience, it is potentially
> dangerous. If the people who have it
> misuse it, program it with information
> it deems threatening,
TOM: [as Devon] "For instance, make it watch too many reruns of 'The
Dukes of Hazard'..."
> why, they could
> create a menace which could quickly
> exceed their control.
>
> MICHAEL
> Devon....
>
> DEVON
> Yes?
MIKE: [as Michael] "I wet 'em."
> MICHAEL
> I think we should get that car back.
CROW: [as Devon] "No, I think we should go out for ice cream."
> CUT TO
>
> OMITTED
>
> EXT. ALLEY - DAY
>
> Hidden behind a dumpster is none other than the Knight
> Automated Roving Robot...K.A.R.R. We hear a yawn
TOM: Coming from audience members across the nation.
> ...Tony stretches, appears in the front seat.
CROW: It's magic!
> A moment later the
> Rev rises in back.
TOM: Thank God they're both all right! I was worried for a while
there.
MIKE & CROW: We know.
> K.A.R.R.
> Are you awake?
>
> TONY
> Huh...wha...it wasn't a dream.
TOM: [as Tony] "It's real! It's all so gloriously real!"
> REV
> (to Tony)
> You're here! I'm here!
> (beat)
> It's here!
CROW: "The bannister's here!"
> Tony and the Rev quickly jump out of the car...back away.
> Feeling safer, they relax a bit.
MIKE: Yes, outside the car. Where they can be run over.
> TONY
> Where are we?
>
> K.A.R.R.
> This is where your companion told me
> to stop last night.
TOM: [as Tony] "Hey, it's not like that. We're just friends."
> REV
> I did?
>
> K.A.R.R.
> Actually, most of what you said was
> incoherent. I did, however, distinctly
> hear the word 'stop'.
CROW: [as Karr] "I quote, 'Oh, God, please! Please God, oh please!
Make it stop! Mommmmeeeeeee!'"
> REV
> You're...just a car, ain't you?
>
> K.A.R.R.
> Not 'just a car.' I am the Knight
> Automated Roving Robot...Karr, if
> you prefer.
CROW: [Sean Connery voice] "So, instead of calling me a car in one
spelling, you can call me car in another."
> I am the prototype of
> the car of the future.
>
> REV
> I mean...you're a regular real thing
MIKE: Well, I'm thirsty now.
> ...you're not somethin' out of a
> nightmare like you looked last night.
TOM: [as Rev] "You looked like a rogue elephant with a red light on
the front."
> K.A.R.R.
> Nothing has changed since last night.
>
> TONY
> Easy for you to say....
>
> Tony scratches himself,
MIKE: Eww, Tony. Not in public!
> starts to root through some garbage
> cans. He finds a scarf which he puts on, etc.
CROW: Yeah, he puts it on, makes a flower out of it, produces a flock
of doves -- you know, the usual.
> Rev searches
> his pockets, finds his bottle.
>
> TONY
> Where did you come from, anyway?
TOM: [as Karr] "The Knight Company told me that there was a stork
involved."
> How did you get in that building?
>
> K.A.R.R.
> That edifice was the laboratory
> where I was first activated...and
> where I was also deactivated.
CROW: Karr uses big words like edifice so we know he's a computer.
TOM: Thanks, Karr!
> The Rev pauses in midchug.
>
> REV
> Deactivated? You mean somebody
> turned you off?
MIKE: [as Karr] "No, I meant the kind of deactivation where somebody
gives you a wet, sloppy kiss."
> K.A.R.R.
> My creator...Wilton Knight. He
> brought me into the world and then
> turned on me.
TOM: You mean he turned off you.
> TONY
> Hey, take it easy...my old man was
> the same way.
CROW: [as Tony] "He kept me locked in a basement laboratory, too."
> REV
> Yeah. Except for me and Tony, you
> can't count on nobody.
>
> K.A.R.R.
> Interesting. I will enter that
> information in my data banks.
TOM: Karr registers the double negative and immediately decides to
kill them both.
> I am indebted to both of you. You have
> reactivated me. How may I serve you?
>
> TONY
> 'Serve us?' Whatcha mean by 'serve'
> us?
MIKE: They know what 'deactivate' means, but the short words are the
really tough ones.
> K.A.R.R.
> I have checked my data on basic
> human desires. Therefore, I
> understand your needs.
CROW: [as Karr] "For one thing, you two really _need_ to take a
shower."
> REV
> Come on.
>
> K.A.R.R.
> You wish to eat.
>
> TONY
> Well, yeah.
>
> K.A.R.R.
> You wish to drink.
>
> REV
> Yeah!
>
> K.A.R.R.
> You wish to reproduce.
>
> TONY & REV
> Yeah!
TOM: The male intellect -- enjoy.
> K.A.R.R.
> Which one first?
>
> REV
> Uh...how about a couple of eggs,
> sunnyside up?
MIKE: [as Karr] "Oh, no. That's supposed to be bad for you. How
about scrambled?"
> K.A.R.R.
> I have no eggs. Perhaps you can
> direct me to a chicken.
CROW: [as Karr] "According to my data banks, they frequently cross
roads."
> TONY
> What are you, a comedian?
MIKE: If he were, he'd bomb at the Funnybone.
> K.A.R.R.
> I am the Knight Automated Roving
> Robot...Karr, if you prefer -- I
> am the prototype of the car of the
> future.
TOM: [as Rev] "Yeah, yeah. Car of the future. Make with the eggs
already!"
> REV
> Hey, wait a minute...it's coming back
> to me now...last night...there was a
> guy...and another car...
CROW: You sure you don't mean a rogue elephant with--
MIKE: Thank you, we've done that one.
> a car just like you....
>
> K.A.R.R.
> You are in error. I am one of a kind.
>
> TONY
> No, the Rev's right...I saw it too....
>
> K.A.R.R.'s engine roars alarmingly.
MIKE: That is alarming. It could be burning off oil or something.
> Both men jump.
>
> K.A.R.R.
> I am the prototype of the car of the
> future. What you saw was merely an
> inferior production line model...a
> pale copy of the original.
CROW: [as Rev] "Actually, I thought it looked black."
> TONY
> (elbowing Rev)
CROW: [as Rev] "Ow, my spleen."
> Uh...yeah, uh, Karr, you...you must
> be right.
> (aside
> to Rev)
> This guy's got a touchy motor.
TOM: Ha.
> K.A.R.R.
> Very well, now may I take you some-
> where for food?
MIKE: [as Karr] "If it's okay, could we go dutch?"
> Tony and the Rev look at each other.
>
> REV
> Yeah. Sure. Why not?
>
> They get inside...Tony behind the wheel.
TOM: Aside from the fact that Tony doesn't have a wheel, I don't
think Rev and Karr will fit inside him comfortably.
> K.A.R.R.
> Do you wish to drive, or shall I?
>
> TONY
> (skeptical)
> Go ahead.
CROW: You saw him drive himself last night. What's to be skeptical
about?
> The car pulls out of the alley, heads down the street.
TOM: Refuses to use conjunctions.
> INT. K.A.R.R. - TRAVELING
>
> Tony and the Rev watch the wheel turn on its own.
>
> TONY
> Far out. Far out.
>
> REV
> It's a miracle.
MIKE: [as Tony] "Remember the player piano incident, Rev? Don't
embarrass me again."
> K.A.R.R.
> I detect numerous purveyors of
> food.
CROW: There he goes again. "Purveyors."
TOM: Tch. He's going to give robots a bad name.
> Please tell me where you wish
> to go.
>
> REV
> Uh...how about the Three Rings?
>
> K.A.R.R.
> According to my data, rings are
> not edible.
MIKE: Ahh, Karr must be using the pre-onion ring data.
> REV
> It's over there...on the left....
>
> THE STREET
>
> as K.A.R.R. makes a U-turn...almost colliding with a vehicle
> or two in the process...then skids into the lot of a
> Jack-in-the-box-type place.
TOM: All that to make a left turn?
MIKE: Well, this is in California.
> INT. K.A.R.R.
>
> as it slams to halt in front of the PA "order" ringmaster.
> Rev and Tony are still reacting to the wild turn.
MIKE: I don't know. I'm kinda still reacting to the misplaced
quotation marks.
> TONY
> Hey, when this guy wants to go
> somewhere, he don't fool around.
>
> ANGLE ON "THREE RING" DRIVE-IN - MAIN BUILDING
>
> where a bored teenaged Kid
TOM: Ah, yes. The Knight Inflatable Device.
> is reading a comic. The Kid
> looks up, sees the Trans Am across the parking lot at the
> clown rig. The Kid pulls a microphone close...hits a
> button.
CROW: ...Builds unecessary tension with overuse of ellipses...
> We hear canned calliope music.
TOM: I like calliope music better when it's fresh.
> KID
> (as ringmaster)
> Ladies and gentlemen...and children
> of all ages! Welcome to the Center
> Ring!
MIKE: [as Kid] "Please kill me now."
> INTERCUT - INT. K.A.R.R.
>
> KID
> (filtered)
> The r-r-ringmaster is r-r-ready for
> your order.
TOM: R-r-rolling Wr-r-riter Pentel pen!
CROW: R-r-ruffles have r-r-ridges!
> K.A.R.R.
> What is that voice?
>
> REV
> It's just the ringmaster, Karr. I'll
> have...uh...
> (to Tony)
> What do they call that breakfast
> thing?
MIKE: Uhh, breakfast?
> K.A.R.R.
> Ringmaster? I scan no such person.
> This is a primitive remote, devoid
> of locomotion.
>
> KID
> I said, the r-r-ringmaster is
> r-r-ready!
CROW: [as Karr] "But the R-r-roving R-r-robot is not!"
> TONY
> The Tip Top Tent?
>
> REV
> No, that's not it.
TOM: [as Rev] "But it sounds just as stupid."
> KID
> (filtered)
> Can I have your order, please?
>
> K.A.R.R.
> Tony! Rev! The operator of this
> device must be nearby.
>
> TONY
> Huh? What are you talking about?
>
> KID
> You guys wanna snap it up? I don't
> have all day.
MIKE: [as Kid] "I've got a lot of standing around and reading comics
to do."
> K.A.R.R.
> There! Did you hear? He is becoming
> abusive.
>
> KID
> You wise guys, or what?
>
> K.A.R.R.
> His anger grows....
TOM: Fear the wr-r-rath of the R-r-ringmaster!
> REV
> Karr, be quiet, please ---
>
> KID
> Okay, that's it. Get out of here,
> before I come out there and throw
> you out. You hear me? Hey! You're
> asking for it!
MIKE: [as Kid] "I'm going to come out there and get the crap beaten
out of me by you! Just you wait."
> K.A.R.R.
> Do not fear, my friends. I will
> protect you. Brace for collision!
>
> THE SCENE
>
> Before Tony or the Rev can react, K.A.R.R. backs up, then
> rams into the Ringmaster.
CROW: You have r-r-rammed into the R-r-ringmaster! The R-r-ringmaster
is no longer r-r-ready!
> Sparks, smoke and plaster fly everywhere.
>
> THE KID - AT WINDOW
>
> reacting to this event in shock.
MIKE: [as Kid] "Damn! I've always wanted to do that!"
> The Kid reaches out, hits
> a button marked ---
>
> INSERT - BUTTON
TOM: What does the button marked "INSERT - BUTTON" do?
CROW: It adds another button.
TOM: And what does that button say?
> "Burglar Alarm."
TOM: Ah.
> INT. K.A.R.R.
>
> Tony and Rev are in shock. They react to the ringing alarm.
>
> K.A.R.R.
> You see? Most of the interior was
> empty. It was a clever ruse, my
> friends, but not clever enough.
MIKE: [as Karr] "I can easily see through plaster facsimiles of circus
employees."
> REV
> Come on! We gotta get outta here!
>
> K.A.R.R.
> But you haven't eaten yet. Perhaps
> you wish to reproduce?
CROW: Man, it's only the first date and already Karr wants to go all
the way.
> TONY
> Forget that! Don't you hear that
> alarm?
>
> K.A.R.R.
> That harmonic disturbance? What
> does it mean?
TOM: It means Yoko Ono's in the vicinity.
> REV
> It means the cops are coming!!
>
> K.A.R.R.
> Is that a problem?
>
> TONY
> Are you kidding? If the cops catch
> us they'll throw us in the slammer!
>
> K.A.R.R.
> What is 'the slammer?'
MIKE: It's the place where Penn Jillette lives.
> REV
> Remember that basement you were in?
TOM: The spooky, eerie basement?
> K.A.R.R.
> I will never forget it.
>
> REV
> Well, the slammer's just like that.
CROW: [as Tony] "Yeah, they got big spider webs and everything!"
> K.A.R.R.
> I do not wish to go back to the
> slammer. How may I avoid it?
>
> TONY
> You get out of here as fast as you
> can, you stupid hunk of tin!
MIKE: [Ferris Bueller] "I don't even have a piece of tin. I have to
admire yours."
> Instantly, the car backs out of the lot...does a 180o
> turn....
CROW: And is instantly transported to the year 1800.
> EXT. CRUNCHY CLOWN
TOM: "Hmm, Crunchy Clown. Heap good."
> ...and roars away, leaving astonished pedestrians in its
> path.
MIKE: The pedestrians _in_ its path aren't astonished so much as
they're in need of a wake.
> OMITTED
>
> CUT TO
>
> EXT. STREET - DAY
>
> K.I.T.T. drives by.
>
> INT. K.I.T.T.
>
> K.I.T.T.
> Michael, I hope the security guard
> has some answers for us. Those sensor
> echoes last night were very puzzling.
>
> Michael doesn't reply, keeps looking at the dash.
>
> K.I.T.T.
> Michael?
>
> Michael fairly jumps.
TOM: Michael Knight isn't really good at jumping.
CROW: He's only fair.
> MICHAEL
> Uh...yeah, Kitt?
>
> K.I.T.T.
> You're awfully quiet. Is something
> bothering you?
>
> MICHAEL
> (reluctant)
> Well...yeah. I'm...worried about you.
TOM: Welcome to the sensitive side of Michael Knight.
> K.I.T.T.
> About me?
>
> MICHAEL
> Yeah. This whole thing has been
> startling, you know? Learning about
> that other car...having to hunt
> down...
MIKE: [as Michael] "...that rabid lemur..."
> and I figured if I'm a little
> shook up, well, then, you must be ---
>
> K.I.T.T.
> Michael, really. By now you should
> know better than that.
TOM: [as Kitt] "I only get shook up when my wheels are out of
alignment."
> I admit that
> I was somewhat surprised to discover
> that I was not in fact a prototype
> vehicle...but....
>
> MICHAEL
> There!..See! You are upset! It's a
> blow to your ego, right?
MIKE: But Kitt's a car. Cars don't have egos!
TOM: Oh, no? You ever seen a Lambourghini?
> K.I.T.T.
> Not at all. On the contrary, it's a
> compliment. Instead of being a
> problem-ridden prototype, I am the
> new and improved model.
CROW: Hey, Mike. Do you suppress your insecurities with
rationalizations like that when the subject of Joel comes up?
> MICHAEL
> Come on, Kitt, you can level with
> me. I mean, weren't you even a
> little bit annoyed when you found
> out that there was another car and
> no one even told you?
MIKE: [as Michael] "Come on, at least be a little ticked off. It'll
make me feel better."
> K.I.T.T.
> Michael, why should that be
> upsetting? There's a perfectly
> reasonable explanation.
>
> MICHAEL
> Oh, yeah?
CROW: [as Kitt] "Yeah, Devon is a doodie head."
> K.I.T.T.
> Of course. I wasn't informed due to
> the all too common problem of human
> error.
ALL: Wah-wah-waaaaah.
> CUT TO
>
> EXT. STREET - DAY
>
> Residential...basically empty.
TOM: So, no houses, huh?
MIKE: Or people living in them?
> Gradually we hear the sound
> of police sirens. A beat.
CROW: I just _love_ techno music.
> Then K.A.R.R. roars around the
> corner. A moment later two police cars appear in hot
> pursuit.
TOM: Why do we never see police cars in cold pursuit?
MIKE: Two words: White Bronco.
TOM: I stand corrected.
> INT. K.A.R.R.
>
> Tony and the Rev are reacting in panic to the breakneck
> speed and wild turns.
>
> REV
> Tony, slow down!
MIKE: [as Rev] "You gotta give your body time to digest all them
Frosted Flakes."
TOM: [as Tony] "But they're gr-r-reat!"
> TONY
> Slow down? I'm not driving!
> (leaning
> forward)
> Karr! You gotta stop!
>
> K.A.R.R.
> Negative, Tony. I do not wish to
> go to the slammer.
MIKE: [Yakov Smirnoff] "No jail!"
> TONY
> (to the Rev)
> You and your big mouth!
>
> Suddenly Karr accelerates. Tony and Rev are pushed back
> in their seats. The police cars fall far behind them.
>
> EXT. INTERSECTION
>
> K.A.R.R. puts on a burst of speed, turns the corner and
> ducks into an alley.
TOM: I think the writer is forgetting for a moment that Karr is a
_car._
> The police cars go by.
>
> RADIO VOICE
> Attention all units.
MIKE: [as Radio Voice] "My wife just left me and I'm thinking of
ending it all."
> Black Trans Am
> reported heading south on Vincente
> Street.
>
> ANOTHER STREET
>
> K.I.T.T. goes past the camera.
CROW: Uh oh. I think I know what's coming.
> INT. K.I.T.T.
>
> Michael reacts as he hears a siren.
TOM: What does he do? Bite his tongue? Hide his radar detector?
> MICHAEL
> Kitt, tune in the police frequency.
>
> K.I.T.T.
> Of course.
>
> A beat. We hear static.
TOM: Better than that techno garbage.
> POLICE RADIO VOICE
> ...last seen at Three Ring Drive-In
> restaurant, 9211 Vincente Street.
> Repeat, black Trans Am in assault
> Three Ring Drive-In restaurant....
>
> K.I.T.T.
> Michael, did you hear that?
CROW: No, he's probably gone deaf during the past five seconds.
> MICHAEL
> The hospital can wait.
TOM: Starring Warren Beatty as the hospital.
> K.I.T.T.
> I should think so. That other car
> is going to give Trans Ams a terrible
> reputation.
>
> Michael throws the car into a wild turn.
MIKE: Oh, and you're not?
TOM: Reckless driver.
> EXT. ALLEY - DAY
>
> K.A.R.R. is parked in the shadows. Tony and the Rev sit
> breathless for a moment.
CROW: Then they break into a chorus of "The Girl from Ipanema."
> K.A.R.R.
> No one is pursuing us. You may
> assume manual control now.
TOM: "You can control the horizontal. You can control the vertical."
> REV
> Thanks a lot.
>
> He reaches across Tony, grabs the wheel.
>
> REV
> The first thing we do is take these
> crazy wheels back where we got
> them ---
MIKE: [as Tony] "Well, I told you we should have never let the
Electric Mayhem paint it."
> INSERT
>
> as the "manual" light changes to "auto."
>
> K.A.R.R.'S VOICE
> I do not wish to go back to the
> slammer.
TOM: Not Karr -- his voice.
CROW: Isn't it always his voice?
MIKE: Hush.
> BACK TO SCENE
>
> TONY
> He's just kidding, Karr...honest.
> Go back to that manual thing...come
> on. You can trust me and the Rev.
>
> K.A.R.R.
> Yes. That information is in my data
> banks. I can trust you.
>
> The control panel changes again.
TOM: To what? An eggplant?
> TONY
> You wanna excuse us for a minute,
> Karr?
>
> Tony pulls his pal out of the car, hesitates at the curb.
MIKE: He's unsure what to do. Should he step on top of it?
CROW: Should he kick it to see if it will move?
> TONY
> Ah...don't go away.
TOM: [as Tony] "And don't listen in on what we're saying, either."
> TONY AND THE REV
MIKE: Sounds like the name of a band.
CROW: A really _bad_ band.
> Tony pulls the Rev around the corner, speaks in hushed
> tones.
>
> TONY
> I wanna talk to you ---
>
> REV
> I wanna talk to you.
CROW: [as Tony] "Good, then we're in agreement!"
> We coulda
> ended up in jail today, all for a
> lousy mechanical ringmaster! I got
> two outstanding warrants, Tony...
TOM: [as Rev] "And a lot of other warrants that are merely adequate."
> I don't need a Wizard of Oz car putting
> me behind the eight ball for nothing!
MIKE: Whoa, whoa! Stop mixing your metaphors!
TOM: Pay no attention to the man behind the eight ball.
> TONY
> Hey, Rev, I'm with you all the way.
>
> REV
> You are?
>
> TONY
> Sure. If we're gonna walk the edge,
> well, let's do it for something
> worthwhile...
MIKE: [as Tony] "Let's do it for the children."
> not the 'Tip Top Tent',
> right?
CROW: [as Rev] "You're right, Tony. I want it all. Let's try for the
Colossal Clown Car Combo next time!"
> REV
> Tony, come on. We were lucky
> today. Next time ---
>
> TONY
> Next time it'll be the same thing.
> Did you see the way Karr handled
> those cops? The moves, the turns?
TOM: [as Tony] "The way he batted his eyelashes so seductively."
> Rev, with this car we could go all
> the way...we could go for the brass
> ring.
MIKE: But Karr's data says they're inedible.
> Nothin' on earth could stop us!
CROW: [as Tony] "With this ring I could -- dare I say it -- rule the
world."
> OMITTED
>
> K.A.R.R. - FRONT SCANNER
>
> moving back and forth.
MIKE: For no reason in particular. We just wanted to put this shot in
here.
CROW: It's ominous.
TOM: Makes you think that mean car is plotting something, you know.
> CUT TO
>
> EXT. CRUNCHY CLOWN - DAY
MIKE: "Crunchy Clown -- stays crunchy in milk."
> Curious onlookers crowd the parking lot. Michael swings
> into the lot,
TOM: Plowing down a couple of them.
> parks and jumps out.
>
> WITH MICHAEL
>
> as he moves through the crowd, approaches the wreckage of
> the Ringmaster.
CROW: You mean the wr-r-reckage of the R-r-ringmaster.
> MICHAEL
> Excuse me...can anyone tell me what
> happened here?
MIKE: [as Michael] "I'm kinda dumb as a brick, you know."
> The Order Kid looks at Michael...then at K.I.T.T.
>
> ORDER KID
> Is that your car?
>
> MICHAEL
> Yes.
MIKE: [as Kid] "Well, it's parked on my manager."
> The Kid turns, signals someone.
>
> MICHAEL
> (to Kid)
> Why'd you ask? Was there another
> car here that ---
>
> Michael doesn't get any further. He's tackled from behind
> by a zillion cops.
CROW: Does this show have the budget for a whole zillion?
TOM: They might have to settle for just a kajillion.
> REVERSE ANGLE - TIGHT
>
> As Michael goes down with a thud on top of the clown.
ALL: Eww, that's disgusting!
MIKE: This is a family show!
> He looks up...camera widens to reveal that he is the hub of a
> wheel of drawn service revolvers.
CROW: _Somebody_ just saw "The Blues Brothers."
TOM: I'll say.
> He slowly raises his
> hands and we:
>
> FREEZE FRAME
TOM: [Southern accent] "Now don't that just beat all?"
> FADE OUT
>
> END OF ACT TWO
[Planet logo.]
See Teens get hypnotized -- in your pants!