[Deep 13. Dr. Forrester is holding a sheaf of paper. Mrs. Forrester
is still knitting.]
Dr. F: So, did that piece of twisted logic bring you to your knees?
Mrs. F: [cackles] McElwaine!
[SOL]
Mike: It'll take more than one mixed up net-coot to scare us!
Tom: Yeah, that guy didn't even know his Declaration of Independence
from his Constitution.
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Enough! Don't forget I still have your main dish in store.
Your experiment for today is called "Is There a Doctor on
Board" by Martin Robinson. Enjoy, bubbies!
Mrs. F: Ratliff!!
[SOL]
[Lights and sirens.]
All: Ohhhh, we've got crossover sign!
[Door sequence: 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... *]
> Is There a Doctor on Board.
Mike: [as McCoy] I'm a doctor, not a cruise ship director!
Tom: You do realize, Mike, that that's the only McCoy reference we'll
allow you.
Mike: Well, it's better not to leave it hanging over our heads.
>
> By Martin Robinson
All: [singing] And here's to you, Martin Robinson ...
> In the cargo hold of the mining ship Red Dwarf the familiar shape
> of the T.A.R.D.I.S
Tom: Familiar to whom, geek boy?
> slowly materialized with a sound not unlike
> the noise rusted machines make when you try to move them.
Crow: *You* try to move them! I'm not moving them!
> After a
> few moments the door opened and two figures stepped out. The
> first was the Doctor,
Mike: Doctor J?
> in his second incarnation, the other was
> his companion Jamie.
> "Where are we then Doctor?" Asked Jamie looking around.
Tom: That's an unusual last name.
Mike: I think the author just forgot a comma or two.
> "I'm not really sure, but it could be some kind of spaceship."
> Replied the Doctor. "Let's explore shall we."
> With that he set off in a random direction.
Crow: Thus ensuring that they'll never find the TARDIS again.
Muahahaha!
>
> Rimmer and Lister were asleep in their bunks when they were
> rudely awoken by the ships computer Holly.
> "Emergency, emergency.
Tom: [Russian accent] Everybody please to get off the street!
> There's an emergency going on ... I've
> just checked. It's still going on."
Mike: Holly News, with news updates every second.
> "What's the problem Hol?"
Tom: --iday?
> Asked Lister rubbing the sleep from his
> eyes with one hand and scrabbling for a cigarette with the other.
Mike: That Lister. Ever a model of fine motor coordination.
Crow: But can he pat his head and rub his stomach at the same
time?
> "I'm picking up two life forms in the cargo bay Dave." Answered
> Holly.
Tom: The cargo bay is named Dave?
Mike: Their rec room is named Melvin.
> "Aliens." Said Rimmer jumping out from part of the bunk.
All: AAAAAAAAAAH!
Mike: From just *part* of the bunk? What was in the rest of it?
Crow: I do *not* want to know.
> "What are they Holly?" Asked Lister ignoring Rimmer's comment.
> "They're sort of human, but one's wearing a skirt, and he's a
> bloke."
Crow: So are you implying transvestites aren't human?
> "Are you sure Holly?" Asked a confused Rimmer.
> "Gorden Bennet, yes Arnold" Sighed Holly.
Mike: I'd rather have a Gorden Biersch.
> "Admirals uniform please Holly." Commanded Rimmer.
Tom: Commas please author.
> "OK Arnold."
> "Come on, let's get the cat and check it out." Said Lister
> jumping down and putting some clothes on.
Mike: Whoah! So we had a nude scene and the author didn't even
tell us?
Tom: Thank goodness for small mercies.
>
> The crew of Red Dwarf
Crow: A pity it isn't Red Lobster.
> were cautiously moving around the cargo bay
> corridors when they bumped straight into the Doctor and Jamie.
> "Who are you?" Asked Rimmer bravely jumping behind cat.
All: [singing] Brave, brave Sir Rimmer!
> "Ah, yes well, I'm known as the Doctor and this is my companion
> Jamie." Replied the Doctor smiling.
Tom: So he's Mona Lisa?
> "Why is he wearing a skirt?" Asked the cat in a tone that implied
> someone who thought he might be missing a fashion statement.
> "It's not a skirt, it's a kilt." Replied Jamie slightly annoyed.
Crow: [Lister] Who cares? You're still the closest thing to a woman
we've seen in 3 million years!
Mike: Careful, Crow ...
> "Ahem, may I inquire as to who you are?" Asked the Doctor
> stepping between Jamie and the Cat.
Tom: [Rimmer] You may inquire, but we don't have to answer! Nyah!
> "Ah." Said Rimmer stepping forward. "I'm captain A J Rimmer an
> these are my crew." Pointing at the other two.
Mike: You know, for a hologram who spends his entire existence hoping
to find some aliens who will create a new body for him, Rimmer's
being awfully calm about this.
> "Don't be such a smeg head Rimmer, you were only second
> technician." Lister interjected. Stepping past Rimmer he held out
> his hand to the time travelers.
Crow: ... who declined politely, as they already had a full set.
> "Hi Doc. I'm Dave, this is the
> Cat and he's Rimmer or smeg head to his friends."
Mike: With friends like that, who needs enemies?
> Rimmer ignored Listers outburst and continued "Well Doctor who
> ever you are,
Crow: No, just Doctor Who. Aren't you paying attention?
> just what are you doing on my ship and how did you
> get here?"
> Before the Doctor could answer, Holly spoke from a nearby screen.
> "Here Dave,
Mike: Here, Dave! [whistles] Heeere, Dave!
> there's something else in the hold. Six something
> else's to be exact."
> "What are they Hol,
Tom: --ogram?
Crow: That's Rimmer.
> are they friendly?" asked Lister.
> "I dunno about friendly. Can you imagine a five foot high
> pepperpot with an eyestalk and shiny balls on it's lower body?"
[Crow starts snickering.]
Mike: Don't even start.
Crow: What? I was just thinking how funny a pepperpot would look with
an eyestalk on its lower body.
Mike: Uh-huh.
> "Er no." Replied Lister struggling to picture the image.
> "Well that's what they look like and they are shouting something
> about being masters of the galaxy and resistance being useless."
Tom: Hey! They stole that line from the Vogons!
> "Smeg." Hissed Lister "Anti-social buggers aren't they."
> "They call themselves Daleks." Said Holly
Mike: Well, they call me Mr. Tibbs.
> "Funny kind of name
> that."
> "Daleks." Replied Rimmer "Aren't they some kind of sick alien
> killing machine?"
Crow: Actually, Daleks generally enjoy very robust health.
Tom: What I want to know is, just how does Rimmer know what they
are when Holly doesn't?
> "That's one way of describing the most ruthless, destructive life
> form in the galaxy." The Doctor interjected.
Mike: Lawyers?
Tom: Politicians?
Crow: Insurance salesmen?
Mike: Elementary school teachers?
Tom: Huh?
> "I wonder if they play Risk?" Mused Rimmer to himself thoughtfully
> "Well let's see if these things like a taste of our guns."
All: Eewww!
> Said
> the Cat cockily cocking
Crow: Wow, that was almost ... clever.
> the Bazookiod
Tom: Mike, what's a Bazookiod?
Mike: Umm ... I think it's an ancient Greek epic about a heroic
bouzouki player.
> he had been holding whilst
> looking around. "Ain't nothing that can survive a blast from one
> of these babies."
Crow: I can believe that. Ever get close to a screaming one-year-old?
Mike: Every time I flew coach.
> Just then something came around the corner. Six something's to be
> exact, Daleks:
Crow: Ahh, there's no one named Daleks here. You've got the wrong
number.
> five a kind of light grey and one black as the space
> outside Red Dwarf.
Mike: Not as black as my mood, though.
> They halted, and surveyed the small group of
> humanoids, eyestalks scanning side to side slowly. Rimmer stepped
> toward them. "Anyone for Risk?" he asked.
Tom: [Victor Borge] Anytwo five elevennis?
> The Daleks turned their eyestalks at eachother. "EXTER-MIN-ATE."
> They crackled in unison.
Crow: They're from the planet Orkin!
Tom: [Rimmer] Thanks, but we don't need an exterminator. We keep a
cat.
> "Run!" shouted the Cat taking off.
Crow: But he developed engine trouble, so he had to dump his fuel
and return to the airport.
> The others followed rapidly.
> Jamie and Rimmer were in hot pursuit of the Cat. Lister found
> himself running with the Doctor,
Mike: --against Zaphod Beeblebrox, the conservative candidate.
> two Daleks some way behind.
Tom: Although polls showed them to have a strong voter base in urban
areas.
> Rounding a corner they found themselves in a cul-de-sac, cargo
> piled high all around them.
Mike: That'll lower the property values.
> "Oh smeg." Gasped Lister, his eyes frantically scanning for a
> bolt hole.
Crow: Bolt holes only work if you're a nut.
> "Oh smeg." He repeated as the two Daleks came into sight around
> the corner and stopped.
> "When I say run, run like a Rabbit." Whispered the Doctor
Tom: Oh, he's a doctor of veterinary medicine.
> keeping
> his eyes on the Daleks.
> "Which way man?"
Crow: [Doctor] Like a rabbit. Weren't you listening?
Tom: [Lister] You mean down on all fours?
> "Toward them."
> Lister tore his eyes from the Daleks
Tom: Ouch! That sounds painful!
> and gave the Doctor a wide
> eyed look of total amazement. "You're kidding me."
> "Daleks are not a matter for humor,
Mike: Oops. Guess we shouldn't have been making jokes,
then.
> run!"
>
> In the panic to vacate the cargo decks, the Cat, due to his
> inherited feline survival instincts
Crow: Translation: he's an abject coward.
> and the fact that he was a
> abject coward
Crow: Can I call them, or what?
> had got ahead of the field and, to put it mildly,
> had left town.
Tom: He got a good-paying job and moved to the suburbs.
> He was now lying low in a part of Red Dwarf quite
> unknown to him. He was also very close to the Daleks entry point
> onto the ship.
Mike: International Falls?
> To be precise, he was lying on top of the Dalek
> time machine. As far as he could see his best plan was to keep
> out of sight and let the others sort it out.
Crow: Why not shoot them all and let God sort them out? Please!
>
> It was a nightmare for Lister. He and the Doctor had given the
> Daleks the run-around,
Mike: Reminds me of my old girlfriend ... [sighs]
> but wherever they ran the Daleks wer
> still close behind.
> "Hol."
Tom: -loween?
Mike: You're stretching it, Tom.
> He gasped as he passed one of Holly's screens. "I can't
> run much further, we need some help here!"
Crow: [Holly] Here, have some steroids.
> "Well Dave." Replied Holly as Lister and the Doctor passed the
> next screen.
Crow: [HAL] What are you doing, Dave?
> "How about going up some stairs? Seems to me as if
> these alien dudes are lacking in the leg department."
Mike: Pot, kettle, black, Holly.
> "Doc." Panted Lister
Crow: Doc Martens?
> "Up the next stairs, as fast as you can."
> The two pursuing Daleks turned the next corner just as the Doctor
> and Lister's feet
Tom: ... slipped on some banana peels. Oh, those tricky Daleks!
> went out of sight to the next level. A third
> glided up and joined them. Their eyestalks elevated and surveyed
> the stairs.
Crow: Are you surveying the stairs, or are you just glad to see me?
> "ORDER THE HOVER DALEK TO THE NEXT LEVEL." Commanded one.
> "I OBEY." Replied another. They turned and went back the way they
> had come.
Mike: Not very persistant villains, are they?
CONCLUDED IN PART 3 ...
--
*****************************************************************
"Monday! Ha, ha!" --William Shakespeare
Bear in mind that this is Real Time. I have not read this part before. In a
sense, I'm MSTing your MST.
Juliet A. Youngren wrote:
>
> CONTINUED FROM PART 1 ...
>
> [Deep 13. Dr. Forrester is holding a sheaf of paper. Mrs. Forrester
> is still knitting.]
>
> Dr. F: So, did that piece of twisted logic bring you to your knees?
> Mrs. F: [cackles] McElwaine!
>
> [SOL]
>
> Mike: It'll take more than one mixed up net-coot to scare us!
The term is usually called net.kook, net kook, etc...
> Tom: Yeah, that guy didn't even know his Declaration of Independence
> from his Constitution.
>
> [Deep 13]
>
> Dr. F: Enough! Don't forget I still have your main dish in store.
> Your experiment for today is called "Is There a Doctor on
> Board" by Martin Robinson. Enjoy, bubbies!
This seems somewhat abrupt. Also, you didn't make any use of the Xover
Randomizer... taken at face value, there's nothing weird about this selection.
Remember, the Mads oftentimes introduce the movie, ie "Your "average joe" has
never SEEN a kind of "movie" like "this." Your... "average joe" hasn't even
BEGAN to comprehend the horror that "is" today's "movie." I give you "Manos. The
Hands of Fate.""
> Mrs. F: Ratliff!!
>
> [SOL]
>
> [Lights and sirens.]
>
> All: Ohhhh, we've got crossover sign!
>
> [Door sequence: 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... *]
>
> > Is There a Doctor on Board.
>
> Mike: [as McCoy] I'm a doctor, not a cruise ship director!
> Tom: You do realize, Mike, that that's the only McCoy reference we'll
> allow you.
> Mike: Well, it's better not to leave it hanging over our heads.
>
> >
> > By Martin Robinson
>
> All: [singing] And here's to you, Martin Robinson ...
>
> > In the cargo hold of the mining ship Red Dwarf the familiar shape
> > of the T.A.R.D.I.S
>
> Tom: Familiar to whom, geek boy?
A little bit on the pushy side...
>
> > slowly materialized with a sound not unlike
> > the noise rusted machines make when you try to move them.
>
> Crow: *You* try to move them! I'm not moving them!
>
> > After a
> > few moments the door opened and two figures stepped out. The
> > first was the Doctor,
>
> Mike: Doctor J?
*groans* I hope this isn't going to be a long running joke. *L* I like it, I
like it... but let's see what you can do with it.
>
> > in his second incarnation, the other was
> > his companion Jamie.
> > "Where are we then Doctor?" Asked Jamie looking around.
>
> Tom: That's an unusual last name.
> Mike: I think the author just forgot a comma or two.
Subtlety can work wonders. Instead of just saying this, try replacing this riff
with an exchange like:
TOM: [as Doctor] I don't really know, Ms. Looking Around.
>
> > "I'm not really sure, but it could be some kind of spaceship."
> > Replied the Doctor. "Let's explore shall we."
> > With that he set off in a random direction.
>
> Crow: Thus ensuring that they'll never find the TARDIS again.
> Muahahaha!
>
> >
> > Rimmer and Lister were asleep in their bunks when they were
> > rudely awoken by the ships computer Holly.
> > "Emergency, emergency.
>
> Tom: [Russian accent] Everybody please to get off the street!
>
> > There's an emergency going on ... I've
> > just checked. It's still going on."
>
> Mike: Holly News, with news updates every second.
Hehehheehhehee..... good one. Made me smile.
>
> > "What's the problem Hol?"
>
> Tom: --iday?
CROW: Inn.
>
> > Asked Lister rubbing the sleep from his
> > eyes with one hand and scrabbling for a cigarette with the other.
>
> Mike: That Lister. Ever a model of fine motor coordination.
> Crow: But can he pat his head and rub his stomach at the same
> time?
Ooooh, another smile.... this shows promise.
>
> > "I'm picking up two life forms in the cargo bay Dave." Answered
> > Holly.
>
> Tom: The cargo bay is named Dave?
> Mike: Their rec room is named Melvin.
Three in a near-row...
>
> > "Aliens." Said Rimmer jumping out from part of the bunk.
>
> All: AAAAAAAAAAH!
> Mike: From just *part* of the bunk? What was in the rest of it?
> Crow: I do *not* want to know.
This is an example of something that can define a MSTing.
Do you [the author] want to make it a "visual script" or a "text based joke"?
Riffs like these are an example of the visual script - something that one must
Picture in order to laugh at... because, again, let's face it: it's hard to
"scare" people in text. I know the type of shot you're alluding to here, and in
a movie this line would be perfect.
I myself used to do things like this, and point out visual images, etc. I've
tried to tone it down a BIT, though... realize that you're working in text, and
these types of riffs might end up backfiring upon the "common" audience member.
>
> > "What are they Holly?" Asked Lister ignoring Rimmer's comment.
> > "They're sort of human, but one's wearing a skirt, and he's a
> > bloke."
>
> Crow: So are you implying transvestites aren't human?
This one takes a while to "get." Suggest changing it to:
CROW: "Sort of" human? Are you implying that tranvestites aren't human?
With riffs like these, that rely on early beginnings to the sentences, it helps
to quote back.
>
> > "Are you sure Holly?" Asked a confused Rimmer.
> > "Gorden Bennet, yes Arnold" Sighed Holly.
>
> Mike: I'd rather have a Gorden Biersch.
>
> > "Admirals uniform please Holly." Commanded Rimmer.
>
> Tom: Commas please author.
Hehehhehehhe...
>
> > "OK Arnold."
> > "Come on, let's get the cat and check it out." Said Lister
> > jumping down and putting some clothes on.
>
> Mike: Whoah! So we had a nude scene and the author didn't even
> tell us?
> Tom: Thank goodness for small mercies.
ZING! One of those riffs that my dad would love - "technical" matters. ;-)
>
> >
> > The crew of Red Dwarf
>
> Crow: A pity it isn't Red Lobster.
Why is it a pity? Have your characters ask Crow this, and see what he'll say
back.
>
> > were cautiously moving around the cargo bay
> > corridors when they bumped straight into the Doctor and Jamie.
> > "Who are you?" Asked Rimmer bravely jumping behind cat.
>
> All: [singing] Brave, brave Sir Rimmer!
>
> > "Ah, yes well, I'm known as the Doctor and this is my companion
> > Jamie." Replied the Doctor smiling.
>
> Tom: So he's Mona Lisa?
See above. Visual script riffs like this don't work. I can get the picture your
mind has formed here, but a smile could just very well be a "hammy" smile, not
at all like Ms. Lisa. Now, if the author had said "hinting at a smile" or "an
enigmatic smile" it'd work.
>
> > "Why is he wearing a skirt?" Asked the cat in a tone that implied
> > someone who thought he might be missing a fashion statement.
> > "It's not a skirt, it's a kilt." Replied Jamie slightly annoyed.
>
> Crow: [Lister] Who cares? You're still the closest thing to a woman
> we've seen in 3 million years!
> Mike: Careful, Crow ...
>
> > "Ahem, may I inquire as to who you are?" Asked the Doctor
> > stepping between Jamie and the Cat.
>
> Tom: [Rimmer] You may inquire, but we don't have to answer! Nyah!
Heh, some people hate these immature riffs, but if they're used SPARINGLY I have
no problem at all with them.
>
> > "Ah." Said Rimmer stepping forward. "I'm captain A J Rimmer an
> > these are my crew." Pointing at the other two.
>
> Mike: You know, for a hologram who spends his entire existence hoping
> to find some aliens who will create a new body for him, Rimmer's
> being awfully calm about this.
So your characters know about this world? You should make a conscious descision
- are they informed, are they "in" on the jokes, etc of the world... or are
they, like mine, outsiders looking at a medium they've rarely delt with. (How
many Sailor Moon episodes have my characters seen on the show?)
>
> > "Don't be such a smeg head Rimmer, you were only second
> > technician." Lister interjected. Stepping past Rimmer he held out
> > his hand to the time travelers.
>
> Crow: ... who declined politely, as they already had a full set.
*groan*
>
> > "Hi Doc. I'm Dave, this is the
> > Cat and he's Rimmer or smeg head to his friends."
>
> Mike: With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Nice, but I would NEVER pass up this golden oppertunity to make a Smegma Joke.
And I'd rather not define smegma for you. Hehehehehehhe...
>
> > Rimmer ignored Listers outburst and continued "Well Doctor who
> > ever you are,
>
> Crow: No, just Doctor Who. Aren't you paying attention?
*sobs* Stop the madness! STOP THE PUNS!
;-) I love puns in a MSTing.
>
> > just what are you doing on my ship and how did you
> > get here?"
> > Before the Doctor could answer, Holly spoke from a nearby screen.
> > "Here Dave,
>
> Mike: Here, Dave! [whistles] Heeere, Dave!
>
> > there's something else in the hold. Six something
> > else's to be exact."
> > "What are they Hol,
>
> Tom: --ogram?
> Crow: That's Rimmer.
>
> > are they friendly?" asked Lister.
> > "I dunno about friendly. Can you imagine a five foot high
> > pepperpot with an eyestalk and shiny balls on it's lower body?"
>
> [Crow starts snickering.]
> Mike: Don't even start.
> Crow: What? I was just thinking how funny a pepperpot would look with
> an eyestalk on its lower body.
> Mike: Uh-huh.
Excellent way of avoiding C**W S**D*OME. Thumbs up.
>
> > "Er no." Replied Lister struggling to picture the image.
> > "Well that's what they look like and they are shouting something
> > about being masters of the galaxy and resistance being useless."
>
> Tom: Hey! They stole that line from the Vogons!
>
> > "Smeg." Hissed Lister "Anti-social buggers aren't they."
> > "They call themselves Daleks." Said Holly
>
> Mike: Well, they call me Mr. Tibbs.
>
> > "Funny kind of name
> > that."
> > "Daleks." Replied Rimmer "Aren't they some kind of sick alien
> > killing machine?"
>
> Crow: Actually, Daleks generally enjoy very robust health.
> Tom: What I want to know is, just how does Rimmer know what they
> are when Holly doesn't?
Deus Ex Machina. Hehehehehhehe...
>
> > "That's one way of describing the most ruthless, destructive life
> > form in the galaxy." The Doctor interjected.
>
> Mike: Lawyers?
> Tom: Politicians?
> Crow: Insurance salesmen?
> Mike: Elementary school teachers?
> Tom: Huh?
Usually when a character goes "huh" it's a Bot, in response to a Bot statement.
>
> > "I wonder if they play Risk?" Mused Rimmer to himself thoughtfully
> > "Well let's see if these things like a taste of our guns."
>
> All: Eewww!
>
> > Said
> > the Cat cockily cocking
>
> Crow: Wow, that was almost ... clever.
>
> > the Bazookiod
>
> Tom: Mike, what's a Bazookiod?
> Mike: Umm ... I think it's an ancient Greek epic about a heroic
> bouzouki player.
Heh, amusing.
>
> > he had been holding whilst
> > looking around. "Ain't nothing that can survive a blast from one
> > of these babies."
>
> Crow: I can believe that. Ever get close to a screaming one-year-old?
> Mike: Every time I flew coach.
Try to make a bigger deal of this... where was Mike going? Such little details
can really ass to a MSTing.
>
> > Just then something came around the corner. Six something's to be
> > exact, Daleks:
>
> Crow: Ahh, there's no one named Daleks here. You've got the wrong
> number.
>
> > five a kind of light grey and one black as the space
> > outside Red Dwarf.
>
> Mike: Not as black as my mood, though.
>
> > They halted, and surveyed the small group of
> > humanoids, eyestalks scanning side to side slowly. Rimmer stepped
> > toward them. "Anyone for Risk?" he asked.
>
> Tom: [Victor Borge] Anytwo five elevennis?
>
> > The Daleks turned their eyestalks at eachother. "EXTER-MIN-ATE."
> > They crackled in unison.
>
> Crow: They're from the planet Orkin!
> Tom: [Rimmer] Thanks, but we don't need an exterminator. We keep a
> cat.
Heh, good ol' Bugs Bunny - sounding reference...
>
> > "Run!" shouted the Cat taking off.
>
> Crow: But he developed engine trouble, so he had to dump his fuel
> and return to the airport.
>
> > The others followed rapidly.
> > Jamie and Rimmer were in hot pursuit of the Cat. Lister found
> > himself running with the Doctor,
>
> Mike: --against Zaphod Beeblebrox, the conservative candidate.
Zaphod Beeblebrox a CONSERVATIVE? Must be some really warped politics in
action.....
>
> > two Daleks some way behind.
>
> Tom: Although polls showed them to have a strong voter base in urban
> areas.
>
> > Rounding a corner they found themselves in a cul-de-sac, cargo
> > piled high all around them.
>
> Mike: That'll lower the property values.
Hehehe
>
> > "Oh smeg." Gasped Lister, his eyes frantically scanning for a
> > bolt hole.
>
> Crow: Bolt holes only work if you're a nut.
>
> > "Oh smeg." He repeated as the two Daleks came into sight around
> > the corner and stopped.
> > "When I say run, run like a Rabbit." Whispered the Doctor
>
> Tom: Oh, he's a doctor of veterinary medicine.
>
> > keeping
> > his eyes on the Daleks.
> > "Which way man?"
>
> Crow: [Doctor] Like a rabbit. Weren't you listening?
> Tom: [Lister] You mean down on all fours?
Wow.... this was a little uncalled for...
>
> > "Toward them."
> > Lister tore his eyes from the Daleks
>
> Tom: Ouch! That sounds painful!
>
> > and gave the Doctor a wide
> > eyed look of total amazement. "You're kidding me."
> > "Daleks are not a matter for humor,
>
> Mike: Oops. Guess we shouldn't have been making jokes,
> then.
>
> > run!"
> >
> > In the panic to vacate the cargo decks, the Cat, due to his
> > inherited feline survival instincts
>
> Crow: Translation: he's an abject coward.
>
> > and the fact that he was a
> > abject coward
>
> Crow: Can I call them, or what?
I'm not really fond of these "Called it in Advance" riffs...
>
> > had got ahead of the field and, to put it mildly,
> > had left town.
>
> Tom: He got a good-paying job and moved to the suburbs.
>
> > He was now lying low in a part of Red Dwarf quite
> > unknown to him. He was also very close to the Daleks entry point
> > onto the ship.
>
> Mike: International Falls?
>
> > To be precise, he was lying on top of the Dalek
> > time machine. As far as he could see his best plan was to keep
> > out of sight and let the others sort it out.
>
> Crow: Why not shoot them all and let God sort them out? Please!
I second the vote!
>
> >
> > It was a nightmare for Lister. He and the Doctor had given the
> > Daleks the run-around,
>
> Mike: Reminds me of my old girlfriend ... [sighs]
Perhaps give her a name.
MIKE: Reminds me of my old girlfriend... [sighs] Dear, sweet Susan...
>
> > but wherever they ran the Daleks wer
> > still close behind.
> > "Hol."
>
> Tom: -loween?
> Mike: You're stretching it, Tom.
Just what I was thinking.
>
> > He gasped as he passed one of Holly's screens. "I can't
> > run much further, we need some help here!"
>
> Crow: [Holly] Here, have some steroids.
>
> > "Well Dave." Replied Holly as Lister and the Doctor passed the
> > next screen.
>
> Crow: [HAL] What are you doing, Dave?
>
> > "How about going up some stairs? Seems to me as if
> > these alien dudes are lacking in the leg department."
>
> Mike: Pot, kettle, black, Holly.
*L* First quotable line so far...
>
> > "Doc." Panted Lister
>
> Crow: Doc Martens?
>
> > "Up the next stairs, as fast as you can."
> > The two pursuing Daleks turned the next corner just as the Doctor
> > and Lister's feet
>
> Tom: ... slipped on some banana peels. Oh, those tricky Daleks!
You may want to curb some of these interruptions... I liked your use of it
earlier, in which you limited it to a NATURAL line break...
>
> > went out of sight to the next level. A third
> > glided up and joined them. Their eyestalks elevated and surveyed
> > the stairs.
>
> Crow: Are you surveying the stairs, or are you just glad to see me?
>
> > "ORDER THE HOVER DALEK TO THE NEXT LEVEL." Commanded one.
> > "I OBEY." Replied another. They turned and went back the way they
> > had come.
>
> Mike: Not very persistant villains, are they?
*g*
>
> CONCLUDED IN PART 3 ...
> --
> *****************************************************************
> "Monday! Ha, ha!" --William Shakespeare
I think I'll read the rest later.
Not a perfect MSTing, but it shows promise. Try finding more suitable fodder,
since you seem to have trouble when it doesn't leave itself wide open for
riffs... there're long stretches of "boredom" riffs, ie interruptions,
fill-in-the-blanks, etc...
I recommend Sailor Moon fics. These can be the worst of ANYTHING, trust me.
Sailor Moon and Sliders taking a close second. Star Trek can be a bonanza for a
well-seasoned MSTier, since these are typically very overblown. It takes a good
mind to MSTie an overblown fanfic.
Still, I'd give it a 6-7/10 on WS #9, that is, if Mike could get his shit
together and UPDATE it... hehehehe... =)
--
Weretorgo Classic - All the Weretorgo, half the .sig
John Cassavetes is my Lord and master.
>
> -----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
> http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
CROW: Base camp for amateur surrealists everywhere.
[thank you hunter felt!]
MSTie #92826
-Reality is something you play with. Like Silly Putty.
>Going through as I read this. This will end up being pretty
>extensive.
I noticed...
>> > "Where are we then Doctor?" Asked Jamie looking
>> > around.
>>
>> Tom: That's an unusual last name.
>> Mike: I think the author just forgot a comma or two.
>
>Subtlety can work wonders. Instead of just saying this, try
>replacing this riff with an exchange like:
>
>TOM: [as Doctor] I don't really know, Ms. Looking Around.
You mean "Mr". Jamie's a guy.
Catherine Johnson.
TCur...@aol.com ---------- Sailor Andromeda ---------- MiSTie #75,125
"We all go a little mad sometimes."
-Norman Bates, _Psycho_.
> > [SOL]
> >
> > Mike: It'll take more than one mixed up net-coot to scare us!
>
> The term is usually called net.kook, net kook, etc...
>
True. But since the guy called himself "john*coot*," I think it's an entirely
appropriate deliberate malapropism. (-:
> > Tom: Yeah, that guy didn't even know his Declaration of Independence
> > from his Constitution.
> >
> > [Deep 13]
> >
> > Dr. F: Enough! Don't forget I still have your main dish in store.
> > Your experiment for today is called "Is There a Doctor on
> > Board" by Martin Robinson. Enjoy, bubbies!
>
> This seems somewhat abrupt. Also, you didn't make any use of the Xover
> Randomizer... taken at face value, there's nothing weird about this selection.
> Remember, the Mads oftentimes introduce the movie, ie "Your "average joe" has
> never SEEN a kind of "movie" like "this." Your... "average joe" hasn't even
> BEGAN to comprehend the horror that "is" today's "movie." I give you "Manos. The
> Hands of Fate.""
>
Hmmm...you might be right. I didn't give that much thought when I was
reviewing it.
> > > "Where are we then Doctor?" Asked Jamie looking around.
> >
> > Tom: That's an unusual last name.
> > Mike: I think the author just forgot a comma or two.
>
> Subtlety can work wonders. Instead of just saying this, try replacing this riff
> with an exchange like:
>
> TOM: [as Doctor] I don't really know, Ms. Looking Around.
>
I don't know...doing it that way seems rather stilted to me.
> > > "Aliens." Said Rimmer jumping out from part of the bunk.
> >
> > All: AAAAAAAAAAH!
> > Mike: From just *part* of the bunk? What was in the rest of it?
> > Crow: I do *not* want to know.
>
> This is an example of something that can define a MSTing.
>
> Do you [the author] want to make it a "visual script" or a "text based joke"?
>
> Riffs like these are an example of the visual script - something that one must
> Picture in order to laugh at... because, again, let's face it: it's hard to
> "scare" people in text. I know the type of shot you're alluding to here, and in
> a movie this line would be perfect.
>
> I myself used to do things like this, and point out visual images, etc. I've
> tried to tone it down a BIT, though... realize that you're working in text, and
> these types of riffs might end up backfiring upon the "common" audience member.
>
Again, interesting point. Perhaps it works better if they're pretending to
react as the other character(s) in the story?
> > > "Ah." Said Rimmer stepping forward. "I'm captain A J Rimmer an
> > > these are my crew." Pointing at the other two.
> >
> > Mike: You know, for a hologram who spends his entire existence hoping
> > to find some aliens who will create a new body for him, Rimmer's
> > being awfully calm about this.
>
> So your characters know about this world? You should make a conscious descision
> - are they informed, are they "in" on the jokes, etc of the world... or are
> they, like mine, outsiders looking at a medium they've rarely delt with. (How
> many Sailor Moon episodes have my characters seen on the show?)
>
Well, when I do a MiSTing, I tend to assume that they *are* familiar with the
show/whatever they're MiSTing. That way, when they run into something like
this, where the character isn't reacting like he should, they can point it
out. I think this is helpful to those (like me) who *aren't* familiar with
the subject.
> > > "That's one way of describing the most ruthless, destructive life
> > > form in the galaxy." The Doctor interjected.
> >
> > Mike: Lawyers?
> > Tom: Politicians?
> > Crow: Insurance salesmen?
> > Mike: Elementary school teachers?
> > Tom: Huh?
>
> Usually when a character goes "huh" it's a Bot, in response to a Bot statement.
*shrug* I don't think it has to be that way all the time.
> > > he had been holding whilst
> > > looking around. "Ain't nothing that can survive a blast from one
> > > of these babies."
> >
> > Crow: I can believe that. Ever get close to a screaming one-year-old?
> > Mike: Every time I flew coach.
>
> Try to make a bigger deal of this... where was Mike going? Such little details
> can really ass to a MSTing.
^^^ *snicker*
I don't know that such a detail would really make it any more amusing. YMMV.
> > > keeping
> > > his eyes on the Daleks.
> > > "Which way man?"
> >
> > Crow: [Doctor] Like a rabbit. Weren't you listening?
> > Tom: [Lister] You mean down on all fours?
>
> Wow.... this was a little uncalled for...
I *don't* think that was what Juliet had in mind. (-:
> > > In the panic to vacate the cargo decks, the Cat, due to his
> > > inherited feline survival instincts
> >
> > Crow: Translation: he's an abject coward.
> >
> > > and the fact that he was a
> > > abject coward
> >
> > Crow: Can I call them, or what?
>
> I'm not really fond of these "Called it in Advance" riffs...
Again, YMMV. I thought it good in this context.
> > > "Up the next stairs, as fast as you can."
> > > The two pursuing Daleks turned the next corner just as the Doctor
> > > and Lister's feet
> >
> > Tom: ... slipped on some banana peels. Oh, those tricky Daleks!
>
> You may want to curb some of these interruptions... I liked your use of it
> earlier, in which you limited it to a NATURAL line break...
Once again, YMMV. I've always liked interrupting a line to change its meaning
or insert a joke. I try not to do it *too* often, but if I think it's a good
joke, I'll do it.
>
> Not a perfect MSTing, but it shows promise. Try finding more suitable
> fodder...
> I recommend Sailor Moon fics. These can be the worst of ANYTHING, trust me.
> Sailor Moon and Sliders taking a close second. Star Trek can be a bonanza for a
> well-seasoned MSTier, since these are typically very overblown. It takes a good
> mind to MSTie an overblown fanfic.
Well, I think it's best to MiST something with which you're familiar, and
Juliet's knows little about either Sailor Moon or Star Trek. This certainly
wasn't the worst fanfic out there, but it was good one for Juliet to start out
with. Now that she's got some experience, she can tackle something worse. (-:
(I personally am not very familiar with either Dr. Who or Red Dwarf, but I
made an exception in this case because 1) she asked me to help her, since
this is her first MiSTing, and 2) she was around to answer my questions about
the shows. An example of the pitfalls of MiSTing something you're not
familiar with: if I'd been MiSTing this on my own, I would've made fun of the
author for making Holly male, since, in the few Red Dwarf episodes I've seen,
Holly's always been female. It was only after asking Juliet about this that
I found out that Holly *was* male in the show for the first couple of years.)
>
> Still, I'd give it a 6-7/10 on WS #9,
I'd give it a 7 or 8, but then, I'm biased. (-:
---
Sarah "Bookworm" Heiner
bookw...@my-dejanews.com
MSTie #53681
I don't know...doing it that way seems rather stilted to me.>>
Well, then. How about this?
--"Where are we then Doctor?" Asked Jamie looking around.
>>Tom: That's an unusual last name.
>>Mike: It's Dutch, isn't it?
Just another option for the riff. : )
~mary
Whoops.
MIKE: Fanboy.
;-)
>
> Catherine Johnson.
> TCur...@aol.com ---------- Sailor Andromeda ---------- MiSTie #75,125
> "We all go a little mad sometimes."
> -Norman Bates, _Psycho_.
--
Ahh, I geddit.
>
> > > Tom: Yeah, that guy didn't even know his Declaration of Independence
> > > from his Constitution.
> > >
> > > [Deep 13]
> > >
> > > Dr. F: Enough! Don't forget I still have your main dish in store.
> > > Your experiment for today is called "Is There a Doctor on
> > > Board" by Martin Robinson. Enjoy, bubbies!
> >
> > This seems somewhat abrupt. Also, you didn't make any use of the Xover
> > Randomizer... taken at face value, there's nothing weird about this selection.
> > Remember, the Mads oftentimes introduce the movie, ie "Your "average joe" has
> > never SEEN a kind of "movie" like "this." Your... "average joe" hasn't even
> > BEGAN to comprehend the horror that "is" today's "movie." I give you "Manos. The
> > Hands of Fate.""
> >
>
> Hmmm...you might be right. I didn't give that much thought when I was
> reviewing it.
>
> > > > "Where are we then Doctor?" Asked Jamie looking around.
> > >
> > > Tom: That's an unusual last name.
> > > Mike: I think the author just forgot a comma or two.
> >
> > Subtlety can work wonders. Instead of just saying this, try replacing this riff
> > with an exchange like:
> >
> > TOM: [as Doctor] I don't really know, Ms. Looking Around.
> >
>
> I don't know...doing it that way seems rather stilted to me.
YMMV.
>
> > > > "Aliens." Said Rimmer jumping out from part of the bunk.
> > >
> > > All: AAAAAAAAAAH!
> > > Mike: From just *part* of the bunk? What was in the rest of it?
> > > Crow: I do *not* want to know.
> >
> > This is an example of something that can define a MSTing.
> >
> > Do you [the author] want to make it a "visual script" or a "text based joke"?
> >
> > Riffs like these are an example of the visual script - something that one must
> > Picture in order to laugh at... because, again, let's face it: it's hard to
> > "scare" people in text. I know the type of shot you're alluding to here, and in
> > a movie this line would be perfect.
> >
> > I myself used to do things like this, and point out visual images, etc. I've
> > tried to tone it down a BIT, though... realize that you're working in text, and
> > these types of riffs might end up backfiring upon the "common" audience member.
> >
>
> Again, interesting point. Perhaps it works better if they're pretending to
> react as the other character(s) in the story?
That'd be better... yeah.
>
> > > > "Ah." Said Rimmer stepping forward. "I'm captain A J Rimmer an
> > > > these are my crew." Pointing at the other two.
> > >
> > > Mike: You know, for a hologram who spends his entire existence hoping
> > > to find some aliens who will create a new body for him, Rimmer's
> > > being awfully calm about this.
> >
> > So your characters know about this world? You should make a conscious descision
> > - are they informed, are they "in" on the jokes, etc of the world... or are
> > they, like mine, outsiders looking at a medium they've rarely delt with. (How
> > many Sailor Moon episodes have my characters seen on the show?)
> >
>
> Well, when I do a MiSTing, I tend to assume that they *are* familiar with the
> show/whatever they're MiSTing. That way, when they run into something like
> this, where the character isn't reacting like he should, they can point it
> out. I think this is helpful to those (like me) who *aren't* familiar with
> the subject.
I purposely DIDN'T choose anything I loved, else I'd be too harsh.
>
> > > > "That's one way of describing the most ruthless, destructive life
> > > > form in the galaxy." The Doctor interjected.
> > >
> > > Mike: Lawyers?
> > > Tom: Politicians?
> > > Crow: Insurance salesmen?
> > > Mike: Elementary school teachers?
> > > Tom: Huh?
> >
> > Usually when a character goes "huh" it's a Bot, in response to a Bot statement.
>
> *shrug* I don't think it has to be that way all the time.
Just an observation. In the Joel era, tho, Joel would usually do it with Crow.
>
> > > > he had been holding whilst
> > > > looking around. "Ain't nothing that can survive a blast from one
> > > > of these babies."
> > >
> > > Crow: I can believe that. Ever get close to a screaming one-year-old?
> > > Mike: Every time I flew coach.
> >
> > Try to make a bigger deal of this... where was Mike going? Such little details
> > can really ass to a MSTing.
> ^^^ *snicker*
Grrr... so I' don't always look at what I'm typing. Kill me.
>
> I don't know that such a detail would really make it any more amusing. YMMV.
I like them... it shows polish and flair.
>
> > > > keeping
> > > > his eyes on the Daleks.
> > > > "Which way man?"
> > >
> > > Crow: [Doctor] Like a rabbit. Weren't you listening?
> > > Tom: [Lister] You mean down on all fours?
> >
> > Wow.... this was a little uncalled for...
>
> I *don't* think that was what Juliet had in mind. (-:
How else can it be interpreted? Especially by RATMM. ;-)
>
> > > > In the panic to vacate the cargo decks, the Cat, due to his
> > > > inherited feline survival instincts
> > >
> > > Crow: Translation: he's an abject coward.
> > >
> > > > and the fact that he was a
> > > > abject coward
> > >
> > > Crow: Can I call them, or what?
> >
> > I'm not really fond of these "Called it in Advance" riffs...
>
> Again, YMMV. I thought it good in this context.
They're all just too easy. I could put one of these anywhere, since I can look
ahead. But the bots must always be rooted in the present, or it becomes unfair
to the story.
BBI doesn't do this, for good reason.
>
> > > > "Up the next stairs, as fast as you can."
> > > > The two pursuing Daleks turned the next corner just as the Doctor
> > > > and Lister's feet
> > >
> > > Tom: ... slipped on some banana peels. Oh, those tricky Daleks!
> >
> > You may want to curb some of these interruptions... I liked your use of it
> > earlier, in which you limited it to a NATURAL line break...
>
> Once again, YMMV. I've always liked interrupting a line to change its meaning
> or insert a joke. I try not to do it *too* often, but if I think it's a good
> joke, I'll do it.
Too easy, though. Way too easy.
>
> >
> > Not a perfect MSTing, but it shows promise. Try finding more suitable
> > fodder...
> > I recommend Sailor Moon fics. These can be the worst of ANYTHING, trust me.
> > Sailor Moon and Sliders taking a close second. Star Trek can be a bonanza for a
> > well-seasoned MSTier, since these are typically very overblown. It takes a good
> > mind to MSTie an overblown fanfic.
>
> Well, I think it's best to MiST something with which you're familiar, and
> Juliet's knows little about either Sailor Moon or Star Trek. This certainly
> wasn't the worst fanfic out there, but it was good one for Juliet to start out
> with. Now that she's got some experience, she can tackle something worse. (-:
My MSTings, as I've been known to say, are based on worlds of which I have no
clue. Sailor Moon? Duh, isn't that that one show with the short skirts?
>
> (I personally am not very familiar with either Dr. Who or Red Dwarf, but I
> made an exception in this case because 1) she asked me to help her, since
> this is her first MiSTing, and 2) she was around to answer my questions about
> the shows. An example of the pitfalls of MiSTing something you're not
> familiar with: if I'd been MiSTing this on my own, I would've made fun of the
> author for making Holly male, since, in the few Red Dwarf episodes I've seen,
> Holly's always been female. It was only after asking Juliet about this that
> I found out that Holly *was* male in the show for the first couple of years.)
And then just became female???
^_^
Odd show.
>
> >
> > Still, I'd give it a 6-7/10 on WS #9,
>
> I'd give it a 7 or 8, but then, I'm biased. (-:
>
> ---
> Sarah "Bookworm" Heiner
> bookw...@my-dejanews.com
> MSTie #53681
>
> -----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
> http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
--
Weretorgo Classic - All the Weretorgo, half the .sig
John Cassavetes is my Lord and master.
>
> -----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
> http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
But then why's he wearing a skirt?
<"It's a kilt!">
Oh.
Roger M. "'Oh my gosh! That monster is attacking that sweet
old lady!' -- Bugs Bunny in Scotland" Wilcox
--
rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) -- also known as "Tracer"
Unlawful to use this e-mail address for commercial solicitation: 47 USC 227
MSTie # 38808 | http://www.netcom.com/~rogermw ... now in EXTRA bold!
I'm sodium! <*> | "The Truth, as always, is more complicated than that"
> bookw...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> >
> > > > > In the panic to vacate the cargo decks, the Cat, due to his
> > > > > inherited feline survival instincts
> > > >
> > > > Crow: Translation: he's an abject coward.
> > > >
> > > > > and the fact that he was a
> > > > > abject coward
> > > >
> > > > Crow: Can I call them, or what?
> > >
> > > I'm not really fond of these "Called it in Advance" riffs...
> >
> > Again, YMMV. I thought it good in this context.
>
> They're all just too easy. I could put one of these anywhere, since I can look
> ahead. But the bots must always be rooted in the present, or it becomes unfair
> to the story.
>
> BBI doesn't do this, for good reason.
Yes, they do... Example off the top of my head. Master Ninja
one, first epis...I mean half of the movie.
Crow: I don't like the look of that nick-nack shelf.
*evil ninja knocks down nick-nack shelf.*
However I *do* agree that their not a great type of riff, especially when
the punch line is so close to the bots comment.
> >
> > > > > "Up the next stairs, as fast as you can."
> > > > > The two pursuing Daleks turned the next corner just as the Doctor
> > > > > and Lister's feet
> > > >
> > > > Tom: ... slipped on some banana peels. Oh, those tricky Daleks!
> > >
> > > You may want to curb some of these interruptions... I liked your use of it
> > > earlier, in which you limited it to a NATURAL line break...
> >
> > Once again, YMMV. I've always liked interrupting a line to change its meaning
> > or insert a joke. I try not to do it *too* often, but if I think it's a good
> > joke, I'll do it.
>
> Too easy, though. Way too easy.
I thought it was funny.
<sigs snipped cause I'm a bastard>
> On Fri, 29 Jan 1999, WereTorgo Classic wrote:
>
> > bookw...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> > >
> > > > > > In the panic to vacate the cargo decks, the Cat, due to his
> > > > > > inherited feline survival instincts
> > > > >
> > > > > Crow: Translation: he's an abject coward.
> > > > >
> > > > > > and the fact that he was a
> > > > > > abject coward
> > > > >
> > > > > Crow: Can I call them, or what?
> > > >
> > > > I'm not really fond of these "Called it in Advance" riffs...
> > >
> > > Again, YMMV. I thought it good in this context.
> >
> > They're all just too easy. I could put one of these anywhere, since I
> > can look ahead. But the bots must always be rooted in the present, or it
> > becomes unfair to the story.
> >
> > BBI doesn't do this, for good reason.
>
> Yes, they do... Example off the top of my head. Master Ninja
> one, first epis...I mean half of the movie.
>
> Crow: I don't like the look of that nick-nack shelf.
> *evil ninja knocks down nick-nack shelf.*
>
> However I *do* agree that their not a great type of riff, especially when
> the punch line is so close to the bots comment.
I think maybe a key question might be "Would it be funny if the
fic *didn't* pay it off?" To give another BBI example that works, in
"Horror of Party Beach" the two uber-bland leads are approaching the
movie's rock group, the Dell-Aires, and Crow starts singing "Mmm-bop,
diddy-diddy-doo-bop, oobie-boobie-boo-bop..." Then, when the singer
asks uber-bland lead Elaine what song she'd like them to play, she
pauses. "Mmm..." and Crow pops in, "-Bop!"
However, even I'm not sure the above question's necessarily
right, because I also tend to think that MiSTings are never made funny
by pointing out what the author in fact intended. (That tends to be
more of a problem with MiSTing lemons, though, when people tend to think
"Oh, I don't like the preference being expressed; the MiSTing will be
funny if I hold that preference up to ridicule!")
-jc
-jc
--
* -jc IS *NOW* feld...@cryogen.com
* Home page: http://members.tripod.com/~afeldspar/index.html
* The home of >>Failed Pilots Playhouse<<
* "Better you hold me close than understand..." Thomas Dolby
>TCurryFan wrote:
>> "WereTorgo Classic <to...@nettaxi.com>" said:
>>
>> >TOM: [as Doctor] I don't really know, Ms. Looking
>> >Around.
>>
>> You mean "Mr". Jamie's a guy.
>
>Whoops.
^_^
>MIKE: Fanboy.
Um, that's fanGIRL. What's with you and gender alla sudden? Are you a
StarLight?
Seiya: "Hey!"
Hehhe...
>;-)
^_~