>
> According to Hoagland's findings, an event will take place on December 7th,
> 1998 outside of Phoenix, Arizona. The exact location will be exactly in the
> center of the state of Arizona, 30 miles west of Peson, Arizona on Turret
> Mountain which is due east of state route 17.
Crow: I get the feeling this guy does a lot of mashed-potato-sculpting.
>
> According to Hoagland, these extra-terrestrials could very well be
> the same aliens who built the complex at Cydonia on Mars and the
> Face on Mars and will be visiting an ancient "Phoenix" that existed 300,000
> years ago underneath the present city of Phoenix.
Crow: According to this conspiracy rip off, Ancient Astronauts visited
Earth in order to JUMP UP MY BUTT!
> According to the third
> page of the James Cameron Conspiracy Theory, these extra-terrestrials were
> survivors of an exploded planet that existed between the orbits of Mars and
> Jupiter.
Crow: Vulcan?
Tom: Tattooine?
Mike: Krypton?
> The planet was known as "FENEX" the ancient name for Phoenix.
Mike: Fortunately, Fenex is now available over-the-counter in
prescription strength.
> These aliens founded the ancient civilization known as "MU" in the American
> Southwest.
Crow: It was - THE KINGDOM OF THE COWS!!!!
>
> From the decoding of Freemasonic symbolism in NASA and the U.S. Government,
> Hoagland says this event will be the possible landing of extra-terrestrials
> who won't be friendly and their arrival could turn out to be an
> "INDEPENDENCE DAY" scenario for Phoenix, Arizona
Tom: Meaning they'll be saved at the last second by Randy Quaid and his
trusty
Sopwith Camel.
> and will wake up the
> entire world to the existence of extra-terrestrial life and will play into
> the hands of the Sons of Belial Faction of Freemasonry who are working to
> bring in a New World Order that will subjugate humanity.
Crow: And on a lighter note - clowns!
>
> People have been prepared for this over the course of several years by
> what's known as the "MILITARY/INDUSTRIAL/HOLLYWOOD" complex.
Tom: Yes, any of these can give you a complex.
> The existence
> of the Military/Industrial/Hollywood complex has been proven by the use of
> Freemasonic symbolism interconnecting the three of them.
>
> Here's an example;
Crow: Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar... wait, have you heard
this
one?
>
> Two current films, "Apt Pupil" and "Urban Legend" are being co-produced by
> two film companies, Tri-Star(Pegasus) Pictures and Phoenix Pictures. Both
> Tri-Star(Pegasus) and Phoenix Pictures are susidiaries of Sony/Columbia
> Pictures.
Tom: So why don't the conspiracy theorists ever tie together *good*
movies in their conspiracies?
> You can see the obvious connection between Pegasus and Phoenix as
> pointed out eariler. Major chains of movie theatres use the Sony Dynamic
> Digital Sound (SDDS) system for their movies.
Mike: *gasp* It's a conspiracy to deafen people!
Crow: But doesn't that defeat the purpose of the sound system?
>
> The symbol in the logo of SDDS is a tetrahedral pyramid.
> Tetrahederal shapes are common place in the ruins on Mars in the
> Cydonia region and when a tetrahedral pyramid is placed inside of a sphere
> with one point at a pole(South in this case), the other three points are at
> 19.5 Degrees of Laditude in the opposite hemisphere(North).
Mike: Which proves... what, exactly?
Tom: That upside-down pyramids are keen, I guess.
> The tetrahedral
> shape has also been found by Hoagland to be in symbols for agencies of the
> United States government, ancient Egyptian Mythology and in Freemasonic
> Symbolism.
>
Crow: So? It's a basic shape, I mean - c'mon!
Mike: Remember, Crow, there's no room in the world of the James Cameron
Conspiracy for mere coincidence.
> The Sony Dynamic Digital Sound system is used in the Loews Cineplex Chain
> of theatres. The debut of the MK-ULTRA technology via the Theatre Vision
> technology, witnessed by George Bush and James Cameron, both 33rd Degree
> Masons, took place in the Loews Cineplex 9 Theatre in Houston, Texas.
Crow: No matter how many times you repeat yourself, it still doesn't
make
any sense.
Mike: [Picard] THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!
> The
> MK-ULTRA technology, an offshoot of the MILITARY/INDUSTRIAL segment of the
> "Military/Industrial/Hollywood" complex was used in a theatre using the
> SDDS system, an offshoot of the "HOLLYWOOD" segment of the
> "Military/Industrial/Hollywood" complex.
Tom: And later "The Military Industrial Hollywood Complex" had several
more
spin-offs: "Rhoda," "Fraiser," "Petticoat Junction,"...
>
> Even Hollywood itself is symbolic. The word "Hollywood" refers to
> wood from a Holly tree that is used for magic wands in occult
> rituals.
Tom: ARGH!
Mike: Easy boy, now he's just making stuff up...
Crow: For those playing along at home, Hollywood is named for
Hollywoodland,
a suburb of Los Angeles. That's what that big sign used to say before
the
"land" part fell off.
Tom: Now back to our crappy conspiracy theory...
> Is it really any accident that the biggest and best special
> effects company in Hollywood is called Industrial "Light & Magic"?
Mike: Any second now, he'll stun us with the revelation that George
Lucas is
not only a 33rd degree mason, but a grandmaster adept!
>
> Therefore this interconnection of symbolism between the U.S. Government,
> Industry and Entertainment conglomerates proves the existence of the
> "MILITARY/INDUSTRIAL/HOLLYWOOD" complex in a tetrahedral structure with
> Freemasonry as it's most secret point at the apex(top).
Mike: Military... industry... movies... the freemasons just can't
figure
out who they want to dominate with their lives.
Tom: But Mike, there are so many uses for Lip Gloss that you just
can't
limit it to movie-making!
>
> With all of this Tetrahedral geometry, which originated with aliens
> who built the Face on Mars and the Cydonia complex,
Mike: Geez, now it's the Military/Industrial/Hollywood/Cydonia complex!
Tom: I'm getting a complex about all these complexes!
> being present
> within intricate connections in a Military/Industrial/Hollywood complex
> controlled by the Freemasons, don't you find it a little conveinent that
> one of James Cameron's upcoming projects will be a tv mini-series on the
> FOX network about the planet Mars?
Tom: Yeah, and the fact that we've spent billions to explore the planet
and seen those spectacular photos has nothing to do with it.
Crow: And don't forget the Athena mission Stephen's sending up there.
> As Richard Hoagland says "...coincidence
> after coincidence after coincidence". When does something stop being a
> coincidence and become fused into reality as a new paradigm?
Mike: I call stinger.
Crow: Mike, never before has the essence of paranoid conspiracy
theorists
been so expertly distilled into a single sentence. I agree.
Tom: Guys, that last sentence brought me to tears. How shockingly
honest
and candid! He's basically saying to us, "I'm full of it, and I don't
care!"
>
> In short, the Military/Industrial/Hollywood complex which allowed James
> Cameron to build his career and got him initiated as a 33rd Degree
> Freemason, will be used to either bring in the New World Order or a Pax
> Humana.
Tom: Pax Humana? Man, I can't keep track of all these new wrestling
groups.
>
> UPDATE
> WHAT HAPPENED ON DECEMBER 7TH?
Tom: Ah, I see where he's going with this! Because George Bush forgot
on which day
Pearl Harbor happened, he's obviously a mind-control dupe and unfit to
rule!
Crow: Yeah. Sure, Servo. Next thing you'll be saying that Dan Quayle's
misspelling
"potato" is a clue to a race of Potato People living under Idaho.
Tom: Hey, that's not bad!
Crow: Uh huh. Right.
>
> On December 6th, a large snow storm appeared in Southern California and
> moved into Nevada and Arizona. The storm dumped snow on San Diego, Las
> Vegas and Phoenix and approached blizzard conditions which is very strange
> for this time of year.
Mike: You think that's strange, that same day, it rained beanie babies
in Medicine
Hat, Sasketchewan.
> This was too weird, even for the so-called "La-nina"
> event.
>
> On December 7th, Richard Hoagland of the Enterprise Mission
Mike: [Shatner] toexPLORE - STRANGE - newWORLDS!
> and Michael
> Bara found several pieces of information in relation to the "landing" at
> Turret Mountian. According to radar images, the snow storm had a circular
> shape and completely surrounded Turret Mountian on December 6th into the
> 7th.
Mike: I see... all of those wacky Freemason kids manipulated the
weather so
they could have a snow day!
> There was also a large ELF
CROW: It's the Keebler Goon Squad!
> (Extremely Low Frequency) pulse at about
> 2:27 AM Mountian Time (4:27 AM Eastern) that came from the vicinity of
> Turret Mountian.
Mike: He's... really convinced that "mountain" is spelled that way, huh?
Crow: He's probably trying to break the tyranny of his 4th-grade
spelling
teacher, who was "obviously" a Freemason.
> Also, on December 6th, this strange snowstorm supposedly
> caused several roads to be blocked including a four mile stretch of
> Interstate 17.
Crow: So a blizzard, in December, that closes roads, is a sign of a
conspiracy?
Tom: Wow! This goes deeper than we thought!
>
> After reading Hoagland's and Bara's webpage posting on Lunaranomalies.com,
Tom: "Lunara noma lies?"
Crow: "Luna ranom alies?"
Mike: "Lu Naran O'Malies?"
Tom: Oh, yeah, she's that famous Irish poet.
> yours truly Daniel Perez
Crow: Our kook has a name! Yey!
> had suspected that HAARP(High Altitude Auroral
> Research Project) was responsible for the snowstorm surrounding Turret
> Mountian.
Tom: Okay, magic wood? ELF? HAARP? How much do you want to be that
this guy played "Dungeons and Dragons" as a kid?
Mike: Tom, HAARP is to conspiracy theorists as ion storms are to Star
Trek -
they can do anything!
> According to a book written by Nick Begich called "Angels Don't
> Play this HAARP",
Mike: Oh, the wit. Oh, my sides.
Tom: Never let it be said that conspiracy theorists don't have a sense
of
humor.
> one of the functions of this antenna array in Alaska is
> weather modification.
Mike: If Sean Connery in a teddy bear suit, is responsible, can I feel
free to hurt something?
>
> The official "information" put on the website claims that HAARP is used to
> study the Ionosphere. Naturally, there is no possible way for a snow storm
> to stay stationary and rotate around a mountian for several hours.
> Artifically there would be a way by using what is called Tesla technology
Tom: [British announcer] Just another - AMAZING DISCOVERY!
[Mike & Crow applaud]
>
> Late in the 19th century and early in the 20th Century, a genius
> named Nikola Tesla had made many inventions that are predecessors
> to modern power distribution technology which includes the concept of
> alternating current. Alternating current runs every modern convience you
> use from your television to your microwave.
Tom: Well, except for your modern, self-sufficient bot.
Crow: Yeah, we run on a self-contained, highly efficient system of
fusion
reactors, transflux capacitors, and rubber bands.
> Tesla's other experiments
> involved using low frequency longitutal waves to manipulate weather
> patterns around his experiments to control the weather.
Crow: Or shock the hell out of himself.
>
> Tesla had planned to use this technology to help humanity, but was
> pushed into obscurity when millionaire and Son of Belial Freemason
> J.P. Morgan, the man who caused the sinking of Titanic,
[Mike, who was drinking something, does a spit-take.]
Mike: [Astonished] Cleverly disguised as an iceberg?????
Crow: [Mike, who was drinking something, does a spit-take.]
Mike: [Astonished] He was cleverly disguised as an iceberg?????
Crow: No, Mike, remember from the James Cameron Conspiracy Theory?
Super-
Financier and Gong Show Panelist J.P. Morgan was like that guy from the
Wonder Twins. He could change form into a gigantic iceberg.
> refused to finance
> Tesla's longitutal wave experiments. Eventually Tesla's weather
> modification got the attention of the U.S. Government.
Mike: Who immediately slapped a weather tax on it.
> When Tesla died in
> 1942, his experiments and work was confiscated by the U.S. Government and
> classified as top secret. Some of this work is even speculated to have been
> used in the "Philadelphia Experiment" in 1943 to make ships radar
> invisible,
All: RADAR!!!!
> the first use of "stealth" technology.
Mike: Later successfully used by Bill Clinton to arrange several trysts
with smitten young interns.
>
> Through several U.S. Government programs this technology would make its way
> into the laboratories of the U.S. Military's Research and Development. One
> of the many projects that manifested out of military Research and
> Development was the HAARP project.
Crow: [JFK] I believe this nation should commit itself to developing a
large,
melodious stringed instrument by the end of the decade.
>
> After visiting the HAARP website, Daniel Perez discovered several
> Ionographs
Tom: Danger Will Robinson! We have Third-Person Author Alert! We're
one step
from self-insertion!
> that indicated there were several large pulses being transmitted
> from HAARP during the time of the snowstorm and reached a very large peak
> intensity at the time of the "landing" shortly after midnight Mountian Time
> at Turret Mountian and during the ELF pulse at 2:47 AM The only ionograps
> that were attainable were from the times near the ELF pulse.
Crow: Apparently, the ionographs also managed to wipe out all of this
guy's
commas and semi-colons.
> The ionographs
> closest to the pulse weren't available as if someone did want them to get
> out even though the graphs are publicly available information paid with our
> tax dollars.
Tom: [Peter Jennings] It's... your money.
>
> This saga with EQ Pegasi has escalated with NASA accusing Richard Hoagland
> of faking the Ionographs, even though they're from HAARP's own website.
Tom: [Billy Crystal] I would know if somebody would fake an
Ionograph...
Crow: [Meg Ryan] Oh really? ughh.... ooohh... oh gawd... YES! YES!
YES!
The Ionographs registered ELFs at 2:57 eastern.... OH GOD YES!
YESSSS!!!
Mike: You guys are *TRYING* to make me sick to my stomach, aren't you?
> Here's an intriguing question, if HAARP is run by the U.S. Navy, why would
> NASA be screaming about faked data if they don't have any connections to
> this particular project?
Tom: Here's another intriguing question - if a tree falls in the
forest,
and James Cameron isn't there to hear it, is it still part of the
conspiracy?
> From their reaction it's likely they do have
> "behind the scenes" connections to the use of the HAARP system for
> modifying the weather to cover-up any secret projects they are involved in.
Crow: Well, maybe their kids wanted to go and play in the snow... why do
all
of these Masons' motives have to be so dark? Maybe they like
sleigh-rides,
through the snow... in the middle of the desert.
> Not only that, if you currently go to HAARP's website, all of the
> Ionographs between 17:15 Universal Time on December 4th and 11:29 Universal
> Time December 10th, have been deleted.
TOM: "Universal Time"?
MIKE: [basso] Attention Earthlings! At the huge antimatter blast which
will
destroy your population centers and reduce your civilizations to rubble,
the
time will be exactly 15:30, Universal Daylight Savings Time. Thank you.
> Are the insiders now destroying
> evidence?
Crow: America is threatened by an intermittent server failure!
>
> With further research, Hoagland has discovered what Project Samson really
> is, a hyperdimensional shield system to protect certain military
> installations in the United States from bombardment from space.
Mike: Proof positive, the military are huge trekkers...
> After
> several strange circular snow patterns were discovered in radar images over
> a period of several days, the snow patterns were correlated with the
> locations of several military installations across the United States.
Mike: Sounds like we're being invaded by Calvin and Hobbes.
>
> Project Samson also has a counterpart if the wording is reversed
> using the Freemasonic technique of the inversion of words and
> numbers. Project Samson can become the Samson Project.
Tom: And Tom Servo can become Servo Tom.
Mike: And Teletubbies can become Tubbieteles.
Crow: And Bite Me can become Me Bite.
> Strangely enough,
> there is a program called the Samson Project, it's a missile defense
> simulator system being developed by the Los Alamos Nuclear Laboratories in
> New Mexico. The programming scenarios for the Samson Project involves
> cruise missile strikes on Iraq.
Mike: However, it can be easily neutralized by the shadowy forces of the
"Delilah Project".
> The title in the program window is "God's
> Eye View" as if to symbolize the Great Architech of the Universe in
> Freemasonry.
Crow: I suppose if it were called "Bird's Eye View," we'd get a rant
about
how Masons worship frozen dinners.
>
> As of December 16th, 1998 President Clinton ordered the use of
> cruise missiles and bombers on Iraq in a new Persian Gulf War to
> knock out Saddam Hussein. Some are accusing Clinton of using the bombings
> as a "Wag the Dog" scenario
Crow: A lot of people have accused Clinton of "wagging the dog" in the
Oval
Office.
> to stave off the Impeachment Vote in Congress,
> but what Richard Hoagland found in regards to Defense Secretary William
> Cohen gives a different answer.
Tom: He did it to impress Jodie Foster.
>
> The speech reversal that was done on one of Cohen's speeches back
> in April with the reversed statements
Tom: "Butt my up jump."
> "December 7th" and "Project
> Samson" follows the Freemasonic symbolism pattern that Hoagland has been
> mapping out in regards to the arrival of extra-terrestrials.
Mike: [Col. Klink] Hoooooagland!
> In other
> words, the present Iraq crisis is being used by the Sons of Belial Faction
> of Freemasonry to cover-up the arrival of their extra-terrestrial allies
> from Sirius for a possible "Independence Day" or an "Armageddon" scenario
> to bring in the New World Order.
Mike: Wait, so Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith and Bruce Willis and George
Bush and Norman Schwarzkopf are all going to go screaming off into the
stratosphere to blow things up?
Crow: I dunno, but it'd make a great James Cameron movie!
>
> All of these new developments picked up steam after something from the
> direction of EQ Pegasi landed on Turret Peak near Phoenix, Arizona on
> December 7th and that new documents relating to Majestic-12 and the
> governments knowledge of extra-terrestrials were released on the Art Bell
> show on the same day.
Mike: And *that's* a reliable place to get information. I've seen
fortune
cookies with more pertinence.
Crow: Even so, Mike, you've got to admit, Art's a snappy dresser.
Mike: Uh... OK.
> Since it's known the Son's of Belial's ancenstors
> come from the star Sirius, which is known as the Dog Star, "Wag the Dog"
> should be known as "Wag the Sirius". By using Egyptian mythology, "Wag the
> Sirius" becomes "Wag the Isis".
Crow: By using the Little Orphan Annie decoder ring, "Wag the Isis"
becomes
"Wag the Ovaltine."
Tom: Wag my butt!
Mike: Tom, you've got to cool it.
Tom: [Weeping] I'm sorry Mike, you try to riff, but you can't keep it
up
for long!
>
> Symbollically "Wag the Dog" is a code name for fooling everyone's
> take on reality. By transmuting "Wag the Dog" into "Wag the Sirius"
Mike: Tom, you're vapor locked on the Star Trek pilot, snap out of it
man!
Tom: I'm sorry Mike, but where does this stuff come from?! It's like
all he
does is leap between the Internet Movie Database and conspiracy pages,
trying to put wrong what once went right, hoping that each time the next
leap of logic will be the leap home!
Crow: That was beautiful, Tom.
Tom: Thanks, I feel better now...
> and into "Wag the Isis", it's very obvious that the Son's of Belial are
> trying to fool everyone, including their own mothers because "Isis" is
> symbolic of "mother" in Egyptian mythology.
Tom: So this whole globe-spanning, diabolical conspiracy is just a way
for
the Masons to hide a few issues of "Playboy" in their rooms!
> Their plan will symbolically
> fail because of that old saying "You can fool the whole world but not your
> own mother".
Crow: Another, more recent saying says, "You can fool any paranoid idiot
on
the 'net..."
Mike: Yeah, Crow? What's the rest?
Crow: That's it.
Mike: Ah.
>
> In regards to the James Cameron Conspiracy Theory,
Crow: Oh, wait, that's right, Jimmy Cameron was supposed to be in here
somewhere.
Tom: Didn't the same thing happen in the first one? It's deja vu all
over
again!
> the film "Terminator 2:
> Judgment Day" was filmed at the time of the first war in Iraq in 1991. The
> title of the film was symbolic of death and destruction that is yet to come
> and the films distributor, Tri-Star, had a flying white horse as it's logo;
> i.e. Pegasus or death.
Crow: This has been brought to you by the Redundant Department of
Redundant
Redundancies...
> Lo and behold the day before President Clinton
> ordered the latest air strikes for the new Persian Gulf War, James Cameron
> decides to make Terminator 3 on December 15th, 1998.
Tom: That oughta be a real interesting set, considering his nasty
divorce
from Linda Hamilton.
Mike: Now we get to find out who the *real* Terminator in the family is!
>
> This occured nine days after the manufactured snowstorm via HAARP weather
> modification in Phoenix, Arizona on December 6th and the air strikes
> occured nine days after arrival of something from EQ Pegasi in the Pegasus
> contstellation on December 7th. Again there's the Pegasus/Death symbology
> and the nine in the "nine days" is symbolic of "completion" in numberology.
Crow: [singing] It's been - nine days you looked at me; dropped your
bombs
and told those aliens to invade me...
>
> Another symbolic connection has been found between Cameron's decision to
> make Terminator 3 and Clinton's decision to attack Iraq.
Crow: They're both bad decisions that will probably end up making them
heaps
of money.
> The name of the
> current dispute is called "Operation Desert Fox". Some have linked the name
> "Desert Fox" with Nazi General Erwin Rommel's nickname "Desert Fox".
Crow: [Patton] I read his book, the magnificent bastard!
> In the
> James Cameron Conspiracy Theory, it stated that the Sons of Belial were
> responsible for the political rise of Adolf Hitler and the creation of Nazi
> Germany. So the "Desert Fox" reference obviously points to who named the
> attack on Iraq, the Sons of Belial.
Mike: [author] Don't let the fact that Erwin Rommel has been dead for
over
half a century fool you!
> According to news reports, Terminator 3
> will be financed by Twentieth Century Fox, another obvious "Fox" reference.
Mike: Let me follow this reasoning. Iraq is bombed with the name
Desert Fox,
Desert Fox was the nickname of a Nazi soldier, One wacky conspiracy
claims that
the Sons of Belial were responsible for the Nazis, and Kevin Bacon is a
member
of the Sons of Belial?
Tom: Fox you!
Mike: Tom! That's it, we're leaving.
>
Tom: [runs to side of theater] Never!
Mike: [tries to recover Tom] Tom, we've got to get you out of here!
> The Fox is a predatory animal related to Dog family. Since we made an
Tom: No, you're one of the Sons of Belial, get away from me!
> earlier connection between the "Dog Star" in Constellation Canis Major to
> Sirius, it's another obvious reference to the Son's of Belial.
>
> So if Operation Desert Fox involves the Military and Industry and
> Twentieth Century Fox involves Hollywood, this shows obvious
Mike: Logical flaws within the narrative... Tom! Get back here!
> manipulation by the Sons of Belial Freemasons at the Apex of the
> tetrahedral structure that makes up the previously discussed
> "MILITARY/INDUSTRIAL/HOLLYWOOD" complex.
>
> But did Cameron decide to make Terminator 3 himself or was there some
Mike: Tom, you've got to come back to me boy!
Tom: No, Eddie Furlong... lip gloss... get away!
Mike: [He rushes Tom and grabs him quickly before he can escape] Aha!
Gotcha!
> prodding from the Sons of Belial who are attempting to get Cameron to leave
> the Law of One faction of Freemasonry and make him come back to their side?
>
> STAY TUNED.
Mike: Same Freemason time, same Freemason channel!
Crow: Well, at least there were no Lip Balm references...
Tom: [Weakly] Sons of Belial... HAARP... fading quickly
>
> BACK TO THE JAMES CAMERON CONSPIRACY THEORY
Crow: Already in progress.
[Mike picks up poor Tom, carries him in his arms and follows Crow out of
the theater.]