>
> X
JOEL: Oh no, this chapter's all about the Quadratic Equation.
>
> HA! AND HA, HA!
TOM: Hey, it's the Betty Boop cartoon with the laughing gas.
>
> A great outcry rang through the woods
JOEL: Somebody catch it!
> the moment
> Jimmy Rabbit set out to race Grumpy Weasel and beat him.
TOM: Gotta think about your life when everyone you know wants to see you be worse at running.
> Shouts of "Good luck!" and "Run hard!" and "Hurrah for James
> Rabbit!" followed Jimmy.
JOEL: 'Hurrah', because Lee de Forest hadn't invented 'Hooray' yet.
> But old Mr. Crow squawked, "You
> don't need to hurry!"
CROW: You just need to be faster than the other guy! ... Wait.
> He thought that the race was already as
> good as won,
JOEL: Or as good as as good as won would be.
> for Grumpy Weasel had insisted on giving Jimmy
> Rabbit a start of twenty jumps.
TOM: And now Grumpy Weasel reveals he meant elephant jumps.
>
> Meanwhile Grumpy Weasel glowered.
CROW: A now-obscure word meaning to glow red.
JOEL: Gladiola flowered (glowered).
> But he could not
> glower at Jimmy's friends,
TOM: He has a strict schedule for when to glower at rabbit friends.
> because he had to watch Jimmy
> himself in order to count the first twenty jumps he took.
CROW: One jump into hyperspace and Grumpy won't be able to follow, kid.
> When Grumpy had counted nineteen and a half away he started.
TOM: Hey, that's cheating by half a jump.
> And old Mr. Crow, as he sat staring at the race, declared
> that Grumpy Weasel hadn't a chance to win.
JOEL: Really wondering what Mister Crow's angle on this is.
>
> The company seemed ready to take Mr. Crow's word for
> it---
TOM: You know the old folklore about crows knowing their rabbit/weasel racing lore.
> that is, all except Grumpy Weasel's cousin, Peter Mink.
CROW: The polecat.
> He spoke up and said that as for him, he would wait and see
> what happened.
JOEL: The huge vote of confidence that is saying 'I guess he hasn't lost yet.'
> He didn't believe old Mr. Crow knew what he
> was talking about.
CROW: It's a crow thing, you wouldn't understand.
>
> Mr. Crow grew almost a purplish black with rage.
TOM: Is this something to do with eggs? I feel like this is really about eggs.
>
> "We'll all wait," he said stiffly. "We'll all wait.
CROW: Well, Jimmy and Grumpy can't wait or the race won't work.
> And when the race is over you will apologize to me."
TOM: [ As Peter Mink ] 'Jeez, fine, if it's that important to you then Jimmy Rabbit is gonna win, take a chill pill.'
>
> Peter Mink merely grinned. He had no respect for his
> elders.
JOEL: [ Gasping at this gossip ] Peter Mink is a cad! And bounder!
CROW: Jimmy Rabbit's the bounder.
> And now he didn't appear to mind in the least when
> the entire company let him severely alone.
TOM: It shows real strength of character to disagree with the crowd about who you think will win a footrace.
>
> Mr. Crow shot a triumphant look
JOEL: Aaah! My antique ceramic Look!
> at him about an hour
> later,
CROW: Mister Crow is on Central Time.
> when Jimmy Rabbit came bounding into sight, with no
> one following him.
TOM: Having got badly lost on the way to the race course.
> "You may as well stop now," Mr. Crow told
> Jimmy. "You've as good as won the race already."
JOEL: I know they're animals but they don't seem very good at this.
>
> Jimmy Rabbit said that he thought so, too,
CROW: [ As Jimmy, as The Wizard of Oz ] 'But I can't stop my legs, I don't know how they work!'
> but he
> supposed he'd better keep running a while longer, till Grumpy
> Weasel gave up.
TOM: This was a pretty good scheme for Grumpy to get Jimmy to run an hour away from him.
> So off he hopped again.
JOEL: Next, Jimmy runs up to meet Dick Tracy.
>
> Everybody except Peter Mink laughed heartily
CROW: Daniel Hart the deer asks what's so funny.
> when
> Grumpy Weasel came springing up the slope a little while
> later.
TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'I want my two dollars!'
>
> "You may as well stop now. You've as good as lost
> already," Mr. Crow greeted him.
JOEL: [ As Grumpy ] 'I am not lost, I just don't know where I am!'
>
> "Whose race is this---yours or mine?" Grumpy Weasel
> hissed.
TOM: It's the rat race.
JOEL: No, Billy Rat's not racing until sunset.
> And off he hurried, without pausing to hear Mr.
> Crow's answer.
CROW: How long does it take to hear 'Yours'?
>
> "We'll wait a while longer," Mr. Crow told the
> company,
JOEL: How else would waiting work?
> "for the end is so near we may as well see it."
TOM: Is ... Is Mr Crow forecasting the apocalypse?
>
> "Whose end?" Peter Mink asked him.
CROW: *Anyone's* end, as long as it's Henry Kissinger's.
>
> "I mean the end of the race, of course!" Mr. Crow
> squalled.
JOEL: Oh no, they accidentally looped back, the race is a Moebius strip!
>
> "Oh! I thought you meant the end of Jimmy Rabbit,"
> Peter Mink replied.
CROW: [ As Elmer Fudd ] o/` End of Jimmy Wabbit o/`
>
> "Impossible! Impossible!"
TOM: Burgers! Burgers!
> was all Mr. Crow said to
> that. But he began to fidget---which was a sign that he was
> worried.
JOEL: Or he's stimming, did you think of that, Mr Narrator ?
> And when Jimmy Rabbit appeared again Mr. Crow was
> not quite so cocksure when he asked if the race wasn't over.
CROW: [ As Mr Crow ] Cocksure? No, no, I'm crow-sure, if I know anything it's that.
>
> "It would be," Jimmy Rabbit answered, "but the
> trouble is, Grumpy Weasel won't stop running!"
TOM: [ As Grumpy, distant ] 'I'm stuck in second gear! HEEEELP!'
>
> "Ha!" said Mr. Crow hoarsely.
JOEL: Let me hear what Mr Horse crows now.
> But Peter Mink said,
> "Ha, ha!"
CROW: Almost ended the chapter on the title, neat.
> And there is a great difference between those two
> remarks, as we shall see.
TOM: Hey! The Narrator peeked ahead! That's cheating!
- End of Chapter 10
--
Joseph Nebus
Math Blog:
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com
Humor Blog:
https://nebushumor.wordpress.com
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