It's almost 1AM and I have nap-after-work-leads-to-insomnia-osis so I
went back and looked up a bunch of old RATMM stuff fer the hell of it
and just laffed and laffed.
I found a lotta stuff, including indisputible evidence that Mike
Czaplinski once asked me to marry him and I also realized that, damn
it kids, we just don't haiku like we used to!
And now, by unpopular non-demand, this, my signature magnum opus rant.
From November 1995, a little thing I like to call:
>Eat ice cream with a fork.
>Take it from me, it just isn't a good idea.
>Oh sure, it *seems* like it's fine at the begining when you have that
>full carton and all those chunks of stuff in there and you're livin' fat
>and sassy just a' forkin' away like there's no tommorrow. But then
>there comes that last desperate moment when you reach in the
>freezer and you are dying for ice cream and there's hardly any left
>but the last time you were eating it you were tryin' to kid yourself
>that you'll never eat a whole container in one sitting because like
>what are you? A pig? No, of course not so you threw the thing
>back in there and now you are eatin' away with a fork and the
>devil came and stole all your spoons last week when Jesus
>wasn't paying attention coz he was dying on the cross over your
>mother's bed and so all you have is this fork and you are eatin'
>away but there really isn't much there so you are clawing away
>at the bottom and all the chunky garbage is gone (what *was*
>it this time anyway? Cookie dough? Bubble gum? Bird droppings?
>Frozen sugar covered lard balls? Mmmmmm....it sure was good
>though, wasn't it?) and now it's just that last little bit that's still kinda
>frozen at the bottom and gosh it looks so good but your Uncle Stubbie
>tied you to the bed again and left you naked and alone and afraid
>and spoonless so you suddenly wish you were a dog and had a much
>longer tongue and, "No Uncle Stubbie! No! Not Kabukie Theater
>and Heads Up, Seven Up again, pleeeeease!"
>Never eat ice cream with a fork.
>I've been there.
>"Why don't they look? Why don't they look?"
- Christine ~
who now knows why it's all hot and it hurts and stuff
I've never been to you, Christine. *sigh*
One more reason you'll have to move back East with me. That, and the
Sugar Mama thing.
> ...and now I've been to me. me, Me, ME!
Well, THAT goes in the folder.
Eine kleine nachtmusik seit
Big Rob Fontenot, The Midnight Rambler®
Only 36 days till EXOTICON '98, New Orleans, LA
"Luck is the residue of design." -- Branch Rickey