Zoolander review by Roger Ebert
Jonah Falcon
with the best review for a movie (in this case, Zoolander):
ZOOLANDER (1 star)
BY ROGER EBERT
There have been articles lately asking why the United States is so hated in
some parts of the world. As this week's Exhibit A from Hollywood, I offer
"Zoolander," a comedy about a plot to assassinate the prime minister of
Malaysia because of his opposition to child labor. You might want to read
that sentence twice. The logic: Child labor is necessary to the economic
health of the fashion industry, and so its opponents must be eliminated. Ben
Stiller stars as Derek Zoolander, a moronic male model who is brainwashed to
perform the murder.
Malaysia is a mostly Muslim country with a flag that looks a lot like ours:
It has the red and white stripes of the American flag, and a blue field in
the upper left corner, which instead of stars displays Islamic symbols, the
star and crescent. Malaysia is home to the Petronas Towers of Kuala Lumpur,
the world's tallest buildings. But you get the point. If the Malaysians made
a comedy about the assassination of the president of the United States
because of his opposition to slavery, it would seem approximately as funny
to us as "Zoolander" would seem to them. I realize I am getting all serious
on you. Obviously, in times like these, we need a little escapism. "Hagrid,"
the usually sane critic at Ain't It Cool News, went to see "Zoolander"
feeling "a comedy is just what I needed, and, what I feel, everybody needs
at this time." His verdict? "It's a perfect film to help people forget
everything for a few hours, and it's gonna be huge."
Well, you know, I wanted to forget, but the movie kept making me remember. I
felt particularly uncomfortable during the scenes involving the prime
minister, shown as an elderly Asian man who is brought to New York to attend
a fashion show where he is targeted for assassination. I would give you his
name, since he has a lot of screen time, but the movie's Website ignores
him, and the entry on the Internet Movie database, which has room to list 26
actors, neglects to provide it. Those old Asian actors are just
place-holders, I guess, and anyone could play the prime minister.
For that matter, any country could play Malaysia. In years past, movies
invented fictional countries to make fun of. Groucho Marx once played Rufus
T. Firefly, the dictator of Fredonia, and "The Mouse That Roared" was about
the Duchy of Grand Fenwick. Didn't it strike anybody connected with this
movie that it was in bad taste to name a real country with a real prime
minister? A serious political drama would be one thing, but why take such an
offensive shot in a silly comedy?
To some degree, "Zoolander" is a victim of bad timing, although I suspect I
would have found the assassination angle equally tasteless before Sept. 11.
The movie is a satirical jab at the fashion industry, and there are points
scored, and some good stuff involving Stiller and Owen Wilson, who play the
world's two top male models--funny in itself. The best moments involve the
extreme stupidity of the Stiller character. Shown a model of a literary
center to be built in his honor, he sweeps it to the floor, exclaiming:
"This is a center for ants! How can we teach children to read if they can't
even fit inside the building?" Funny, yes, and I like the hand model whose
hand is sealed inside a hyperbarbic chamber to protect it. I also admire the
ruthlessness with which "Zoolander" points out that the fashion industry
does indeed depend on child labor. The back-to-school clothes of American
kids are largely made by Third World kids who don't go to school. In fact,
the more you put yourself into the shoes (if he had any) of a Muslim
12-year-old in a sport-shirt factory, the more you might understand why he
resents rich Americans, and might be offended by a movie about the
assasination of his prime minister (if he had the money to go to a movie).
Kids like that don't grow up to think of America as fondly as the people who
designed his flag.
Responding quickly to the tragedy of Sept. 11, the makers of "Zoolander" did
some last-minute editing. No, they didn't dub over the word "Malaysia" or
edit around the assassination of the prime minister. What they did was
digitally erase the World Trade Center from the New York skyline, so that
audiences would not be reminded of the tragedy, as if we have forgotten.
It's a good thing no scenes were shot in Kuala Lumpur, or they probably
would have erased the Petronas Towers, to keep us from getting depressed or
jealous or anything.
Stephen Cooke
<snip Ebert's one-star review>
Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that will
get a kick out of it.
swac
But hey, how about that Ebert three-star review for Jay And Silent Bob
Strike Back? Wasn't that something?
Michael Clear
Stephen Cooke <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote in message
news:Pine.GSO.3.95.iB1.0.101...@halifax.chebucto.ns.ca.
..
Yes. Since Jonah now sees it fit to quote Ebert as a source of authority,
the posts I have seen where he says Ebert gives good reviews to certain
movies because he is crazy, corrupt or both since no intelligent, honest
person could possibly have liked these movies must have been my imagination.
Michael Clear
Still waiting for Jonah to apologize to the fellow he accused of lying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.michael-clear.com
Updated 5/30/01
Reply to:
maclear(at)nycap.rr.com
Jonah Falcon
"Michael Clear" <mac...@9th-Circle-Of-Spam-Hell.com> wrote in message
news:Lk8t7.570419$T97.76...@typhoon.nyroc.rr.com...
>
> Stephen Cooke <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote in message
>
news:Pine.GSO.3.95.iB1.0.101...@halifax.chebucto.ns.ca.
> ..
> >
> > <snip Ebert's one-star review>
> >
> > Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
> > movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
> > throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that
will
> > get a kick out of it.
Uh, sure... it's FUNNY. You probably think Tom Green is hilarious, too.
Jonah Falcon
Jonah Falcon
OFF the topic of conversation. There's a reason I posted the review.
Jonah Falcon
"Michael Clear" <mac...@9th-Circle-Of-Spam-Hell.com> wrote in message
news:Lk8t7.570419$T97.76...@typhoon.nyroc.rr.com...
>
David Thurston
news:9p358s$s45$1...@slb0.atl.mindspring.net...
> By the way, how about ADDRESSING WHAT IS IN THE REVIEW? Just LIKE you to
get
> OFF the topic of conversation. There's a reason I posted the review.
>
Because you got bored of bashing Jay and Silent Bob?
I must have missed when we all made Jonah Falcon the topic police.
Stephen Cooke
On Fri, 28 Sep 2001, David Thurston wrote:
> "Jonah Falcon" <jonah...@mindspring.com> blurted:
> > By the way, how about ADDRESSING WHAT IS IN THE REVIEW? Just LIKE you to
> > get OFF the topic of conversation. There's a reason I posted the
> > review.
>
> Because you got bored of bashing Jay and Silent Bob?
Trust me, that will *never* happen.
> I must have missed when we all made Jonah Falcon the topic police.
"In colour!"
swac
This week's episode: Boogie Nights....of Murder!
Bryan Lambert
<jonah...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>There's a reason I posted the review.
Yeah, we know. Because you're an insecure, narcissistic nutjob. We
just don't care.
Bryan "You're not relevant to the process." Lambert
MAIL: bryanl@homegame..org
WEB: homegame.org/canvas/
----------------------------------------------------
"There are reminders to all Americans that they need
to watch what they say, watch what they do, and this
is not a time for remarks like that; there never is."
- Press Sec. Ari Fleischer, "Defender" of "Freedom"
Joe B
"Stephen Cooke" <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote in message
news:Pine.GSO.3.95.iB1.0.101...@halifax.chebucto.ns.ca.
..
>
>
> Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
> movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
> throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that will
> get a kick out of it.
OK. Admit it. You only made this post so you could casually mention that you
"know a few models". :)
--
Joe B - #41642
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now,
Only much, much better.
Jeffrey Johnson
>"Stephen Cooke" <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote:
>>
>> <snip Ebert's one-star review>
>>
>> Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
>> movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
>> throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that
>> will get a kick out of it.
>
>OK. Admit it. You only made this post so you could casually mention that
>you "know a few models". :)
Come on. That would be like saying that I only made this post here to
casually mention that I have beautiful and perfectly-proportioned feet
which have, at times, been stroked and cooed over by as many as three
nubile college girls at once. Puh-leese. I think we should all give
swac a little more credit than that.
JSJ1TG, I will also refrain from any posts casually mentioning the
virtues of my hinder.
----------------------------------------------------------
" 'Amber waves of grain' my ass. There's a cereal tsunami
out there." - Jean crowns her good with breakfasthood
----------------------------------------------------------
Andrew
On Fri, 28 Sep 2001, Stephen Cooke wrote:
:
Guest Star: Brad Pitt! (Watch as Brad Pitt gets murdered by a falling anvil.
The camera pans up to a steel I-beam where Jennifer Anston tries to hide the
really large scissors.)
---Andrew "Must by Airplane!" Kunz
Stephen Cooke
On 28 Sep 2001, Joe B wrote:
> "Stephen Cooke" <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote:
> >
> > <snip Ebert's one-star review>
> >
> > Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
> > movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
> > throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that will
> > get a kick out of it.
>
> OK. Admit it. You only made this post so you could casually mention that you
> "know a few models". :)
My friend Mike Clattenburg's wife Lara Cassidy runs a modelling agency
(The Cassidy Group) with her sister, and they often do assignments
themselves. And I know they'd find Zoolander hilarious.
swac
Sadly, I have yet to attend one of their pool parties. Hopefully they will
get a pool soon.
Stephen Cooke
On Fri, 28 Sep 2001, Jonah Falcon wrote:
> "Michael Clear" <mac...@9th-Circle-Of-Spam-Hell.com> wrote:
> > Stephen Cooke <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
> > > movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
> > > throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that
> will
> > > get a kick out of it.
>
> Uh, sure... it's FUNNY. You probably think Tom Green is hilarious, too.
Well, I'm not sure what Tom Green has to do with anything. Zoolander is a
spoof, Green is merely lowest-common-denominator gross-out humour. There's
nothing in Zoolander about degrading animal carcasses (I'm pretty sure no
one wears fur in it) or embarassing your parents (although some of Jerry
Stiller's outfits will make you wince, but I'm sure he got better paid
than Green's parents).
So no, I don't think Tom Green is hilarious. He's far from it.
swac
But for some reason, I thought this film about a self-centred, cosmically
clueless, self-absorbed moron obsessed only with his physical atributes
was a regular laugh riot. Go figure.
Stephen Cooke
On Fri, 28 Sep 2001, Jeffrey Johnson wrote:
> Embark, dear reader, on a tour of the wisdom of Joe B:
> >"Stephen Cooke" <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote:
> >>
> >> <snip Ebert's one-star review>
> >>
> >> Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
> >> movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
> >> throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that
> >> will get a kick out of it.
> >
> >OK. Admit it. You only made this post so you could casually mention that
> >you "know a few models". :)
>
> Come on. That would be like saying that I only made this post here to
> casually mention that I have beautiful and perfectly-proportioned feet
> which have, at times, been stroked and cooed over by as many as three
> nubile college girls at once. Puh-leese. I think we should all give
> swac a little more credit than that.
It's true, I was merely stating a fact. Besides, I said "know", not
"date". *sugh*
But tell us more about your feet. What lotion do you use?
And posting something like that for gratuitous reasons would be like me
posting the fact that my next project is a no-holds-barred "expose" of the
Asian sex tourism scene. It's bad, real bad. Morally reprehensible.
Did I mention there would be pictures?
> JSJ1TG, I will also refrain from any posts casually mentioning the
> virtues of my hinder.
Well, that's because your hinder speaks for itself.
swac
And it calls me every weekend.
scooter
>
> Uh, sure... it's FUNNY. You probably think Tom Green is hilarious, too.
>
> Jonah Falcon
>
>
C'mon now. I haven't seen Zoolander and I don't really know if I want to
see it. However, Ben Stiller is a genuine talent who may have made a poor
movie, Tom Green is a genuine tool. There's a big difference.
Doug Elrod
Jeffrey Johnson <ez04...@mailbox.ucdavis.edu> wrote:
> Embark, dear reader, on a tour of the wisdom of Joe B:
> >OK. Admit it. You only made this post so you could casually mention that
> >you "know a few models". :)
>
> Come on. That would be like saying that I only made this post here to
> casually mention that I have beautiful and perfectly-proportioned feet
> which have, at times, been stroked and cooed over by as many as three
> nubile college girls at once. Puh-leese. I think we should all give
> swac a little more credit than that.
Enjoy it while you can! Pretty soon, hobbit-styled extra-hairy feet
are going to be TRES CHIC!
-Doug Elrod (dr...@cornell.edu)
wondering if SciFi scheduled "Time Chasers" to help promote "Lord
of the Rings", given its "Ent" joke :-)
And Knowing Is Half The Battle
"My god, the rod up that man's butt must have a rod up it's butt!"
Doug Elrod
<Pine.GSO.3.95.iB1.0.101...@halifax.chebucto.ns.ca>,
Stephen Cooke <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote:
> On Fri, 28 Sep 2001, Jonah Falcon wrote:
> > Uh, sure... it's FUNNY. You probably think Tom Green is hilarious, too.
>
> Well, I'm not sure what Tom Green has to do with anything.
Oh, but it has *everything* to do with it! Having him degrade animal
carcasses is *totally* out of scale with the egg throwing in the rest
of the movie. And the scene where he puts the small poodle inside
his mouth, well, where is the ASPCA?!?
-Doug Elrod (dr...@cornell.edu) :-)
Start SEEING trailers!
Granger
Okay, lessee here...you killfile Stephen (or you said you did at
least) because you don't like anything he says to you, but you still
go out of your way to piggyback on Michael's post to rip on him. Have
we missed the point of killfiling, Jonah?
Granger (Not that it would be a big surprise.)
Lugosi
>
> "Stephen Cooke" <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote in message
> news:Pine.GSO.3.95.iB1.0.101...@halifax.chebucto.ns.ca.
> ..
> >
> > <snip Ebert's one-star review>
> >
> > Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
> > movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
> > throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that will
> > get a kick out of it.
>
> OK. Admit it. You only made this post so you could casually mention that you
> "know a few models". :)
I know I still wish I had that beautiful Saturn V from when I was 12.
Also a '66 Mustang, Spider-Man, an aircraft carrier...
/John -- comfy out here in left field
Stephen Cooke
Right about now I just wish I had a tube of the glue.
Testor? I hardly know 'er!
> /John -- comfy out here in left field
swac
The sun got in my eyes, honest!
Lugosi
>
> On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
>
> > Joe B wrote:
> > >
> > > "Stephen Cooke" <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > <snip Ebert's one-star review>
> > > >
> > > > Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
> > > > movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
> > > > throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that will
> > > > get a kick out of it.
> > >
> > > OK. Admit it. You only made this post so you could casually mention that you
> > > "know a few models". :)
> >
> > I know I still wish I had that beautiful Saturn V from when I was 12.
> > Also a '66 Mustang, Spider-Man, an aircraft carrier...
>
> Right about now I just wish I had a tube of the glue.
Suddenly I have an excellent possibility for why I'm on tranquilizers...
> Testor? I hardly know 'er!
BWAHAHA -- Oh, wait, I remember now...
> > /John -- comfy out here in left field
>
> swac
> The sun got in my eyes, honest!
Nature's photon torpedoes are *not* to be trifled with.
/John
Stephen Cooke
On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
> Stephen Cooke wrote:
> > On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
> > > Joe B wrote:
> > > > "Stephen Cooke" <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > <snip Ebert's one-star review>
> > > > >
> > > > > Eh, I thought it was funny enough. Better than the slew of SNL
> > > > > movies-based-on-skits. Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell are hilarious
> > > > > throughout. And Stiller's wife is damn cute. I know a few models that will
> > > > > get a kick out of it.
> > > >
> > > > OK. Admit it. You only made this post so you could casually mention that you
> > > > "know a few models". :)
> > >
> > > I know I still wish I had that beautiful Saturn V from when I was 12.
> > > Also a '66 Mustang, Spider-Man, an aircraft carrier...
> >
> > Right about now I just wish I had a tube of the glue.
>
> Suddenly I have an excellent possibility for why I'm on tranquilizers...
You should search the net for Lenny Bruce's Confessions of a Teenage
Glue-Sniffer...hilarious.
"I'M THE LOUIS PASTEUR OF JUNKIEDOM!"
> > Testor? I hardly know 'er!
>
> BWAHAHA -- Oh, wait, I remember now...
Let the Revells begin.
> > > /John -- comfy out here in left field
> >
> > swac
> > The sun got in my eyes, honest!
>
> Nature's photon torpedoes are *not* to be trifled with.
swac
Oh, the sun's just a mass of incandescent gas.
Fish Eye no Miko
The clouds got in my eyes!
Catherine Johnson.
--
The people on American Airlines Flight 11
The people on United Airlines Flight 175
The people on American Airlines Flight 77
The people on United Airlines Flight 93
Those in World Trade Center, Tower One
Those in World Trade Center, Tower Two
The workers in the Pentagon
The rescue workers who lost their lives helping others
You will not be forgotten.
Joolz
says...
>
>Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
>
>>On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
>>
>>> /John -- comfy out here in left field
>>
>>swac
>>The sun got in my eyes, honest!
>
>The clouds got in my eyes!
>
There were clouds in my coffee!
Jules
I probably thought this post was about me
Stephen Cooke
On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Fish Eye no Miko wrote:
> Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
>
> >On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
> >
> >> /John -- comfy out here in left field
> >
> >The sun got in my eyes, honest!
>
> The clouds got in my eyes!
Look for the girl, with the clouds in her eyes...AND SHE'S GONE!
swac
Waiting to take you away.
The Midnight Rambler
"Stephen Cooke" <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote in message
news:Pine.GSO.3.95.iB1.0.101...@halifax.chebucto.ns.ca..
.
>
How is it that I knew this was Shatner and not Lennon?
--
Robert "Big Rob" Fontenot, Jr.
http://www.bigrobonline.com
..............................................
"The invincible shield of caring
Is a weapon from the sky
Against being dead." - Lao Tzu
Stephen Cooke
> > > Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
> > > >On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> /John -- comfy out here in left field
> > > >
> > > >The sun got in my eyes, honest!
> > >
> > > The clouds got in my eyes!
> >
> > Look for the girl, with the clouds in her eyes...AND SHE'S GONE!
>
> How is it that I knew this was Shatner and not Lennon?
Egregious capitalization is always a good sign.
swac
Although to be fair, it should be "...AND SHE'S
GONE...Gone...gone...on..."
Andrew
On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Joolz wrote:
:In article <5Z4u7.86064$aZ6.20...@news1.rdc1.az.home.com>, Fish Eye no Miko
:says...
:>
:>Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
:>
:>>On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
:>>
:>>> /John -- comfy out here in left field
:>>
:>>swac
:>>The sun got in my eyes, honest!
:>
:>The clouds got in my eyes!
:>
:
:There were clouds in my coffee!
Ever had one of those days where you shave with whipped cream and put
shaving cream in your coffee?
---Andrew Kunz. "You know when you haven't had enough sleep is when go to
brush your teeth and the toothbrush is still wet."
Michael Clear
Joolz <Jo...@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:e55u7.11769$ev2....@www.newsranger.com...
You're so vain.
Michael Clear
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.michael-clear.com
Updated 5/30/01
"In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination."
-Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
Reply to:
maclear(at)nycap.rr.com
Stephen Cooke
> Miko says...
> > >Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
> > >>On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
> > >>
> > >>> /John -- comfy out here in left field
> > >>
> > >>swac
> > >>The sun got in my eyes, honest!
> > >
> > >The clouds got in my eyes!
> > >
> >
> > There were clouds in my coffee!
> >
> > Jules
> > I probably thought this post was about me
>
> You're so vain.
No, she's so *vane*...because she don't need a weatherman to know which
way the wind blows.
swac
Hey, a Clear post made it through the web of ineptitude! Yay!
Bill Livingston
>On Tue, 2 Oct 2001, Michael Clear wrote:
>>Joolz <Jo...@nospam.com> wrote in message
>>>>Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
>>>>On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
>>>>>>/John -- comfy out here in left field
>>>>>
>>>>>swac
>>>>>The sun got in my eyes, honest!
>>>>
>>>>The clouds got in my eyes!
>>>
>>>There were clouds in my coffee!
>>>Jules
>>>I probably thought this post was about me
>>
>>You're so vain.
>
>No, she's so *vane*...because she don't need a weatherman to know which
>way the wind blows.
Yet oddly, Willard Scott still showed up. And now, your local forecast...
>swac
>Hey, a Clear post made it through the web of ineptitude! Yay!
Quick! Catch it before it gets away!
Bill L.
Michael Clear's posts are as elusive as Robert Denby
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
bil...@hiwaay.net http://home.hiwaay.net/~billfl
"If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. And if you're smart,
surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you."
Isaac Jaffee (Robert Guillome), "Sports Night"
Stephen Cooke
On Wed, 3 Oct 2001, Bill Livingston wrote:
> Previously on "Good Morning America", Stephen Cooke wrote:
> >On Tue, 2 Oct 2001, Michael Clear wrote:
> >>Joolz <Jo...@nospam.com> wrote in message
> >>>Fish Eye no Miko says...
> >>>>Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
> >>>>On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
> >>>>>>/John -- comfy out here in left field
> >>>>>
> >>>>>swac
> >>>>>The sun got in my eyes, honest!
> >>>>
> >>>>The clouds got in my eyes!
> >>>
> >>>There were clouds in my coffee!
> >>>Jules
> >>>I probably thought this post was about me
> >>
> >>You're so vain.
> >
> >No, she's so *vane*...because she don't need a weatherman to know which
> >way the wind blows.
>
> Yet oddly, Willard Scott still showed up. And now, your local forecast...
Willard Scott!
*takes off hat, puts hand over heart, looks up misty-eyed towards the
horizon while music swells*
> >swac
> >Hey, a Clear post made it through the web of ineptitude! Yay!
>
> Quick! Catch it before it gets away!
Cover it in melted butter!
> Bill L.
> Michael Clear's posts are as elusive as Robert Denby
swac
His posts are like the wind baby, nobody gets 'em.
Bill Livingston
>On Wed, 3 Oct 2001, Bill Livingston wrote:
>>Previously on "Good Morning America", Stephen Cooke wrote:
>>>On Tue, 2 Oct 2001, Michael Clear wrote:
>>>>Joolz <Jo...@nospam.com> wrote in message
>>>>>Fish Eye no Miko says...
>>>>>>Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
>>>>>>On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
>>>>>>>>/John -- comfy out here in left field
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>swac
>>>>>>>The sun got in my eyes, honest!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>The clouds got in my eyes!
>>>>>
>>>>>There were clouds in my coffee!
>>>>>Jules
>>>>>I probably thought this post was about me
>>>>
>>>>You're so vain.
>>>
>>>No, she's so *vane*...because she don't need a weatherman to know which
>>>way the wind blows.
>>
>>Yet oddly, Willard Scott still showed up. And now, your local forecast...
>
>Willard Scott!
>
>*takes off hat, puts hand over heart, looks up misty-eyed towards the
>horizon while music swells*
Say, whatever happened to Willard Scott, riding the trails alone?
>>>swac
>>>Hey, a Clear post made it through the web of ineptitude! Yay!
>>
>>Quick! Catch it before it gets away!
>
>Cover it in melted butter!
Mmmmmm, drawn butter!
>>Bill L.
>>Michael Clear's posts are as elusive as Robert Denby
>
>swac
>His posts are like the wind baby, nobody gets 'em.
Bill L.
Clear Posting is the thing to do...
Stephen Cooke
On Thu, 4 Oct 2001, Bill Livingston wrote:
> Previously on "Scrubs", Stephen Cooke wrote:
> >On Wed, 3 Oct 2001, Bill Livingston wrote:
> >>Previously on "Good Morning America", Stephen Cooke wrote:
> >>>On Tue, 2 Oct 2001, Michael Clear wrote:
> >>>>Joolz <Jo...@nospam.com> wrote in message
> >>>>>Fish Eye no Miko says...
> >>>>>>Stephen Cooke wrote in message ...
> >>>>>>On Mon, 1 Oct 2001, Lugosi wrote:
> >>>>>>>>/John -- comfy out here in left field
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>swac
> >>>>>>>The sun got in my eyes, honest!
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>The clouds got in my eyes!
> >>>>>
> >>>>>There were clouds in my coffee!
> >>>>>Jules
> >>>>>I probably thought this post was about me
> >>>>
> >>>>You're so vain.
> >>>
> >>>No, she's so *vane*...because she don't need a weatherman to know which
> >>>way the wind blows.
> >>
> >>Yet oddly, Willard Scott still showed up. And now, your local forecast...
> >
> >Willard Scott!
> >
> >*takes off hat, puts hand over heart, looks up misty-eyed towards the
> >horizon while music swells*
>
> Say, whatever happened to Willard Scott, riding the trails alone?
He's now Willard Scott...of the Sahara!
> >>>swac
> >>>Hey, a Clear post made it through the web of ineptitude! Yay!
> >>
> >>Quick! Catch it before it gets away!
> >
> >Cover it in melted butter!
>
> Mmmmmm, drawn butter!
It's like buttah.
> >>Bill L.
> >>Michael Clear's posts are as elusive as Robert Denby
> >
> >swac
> >His posts are like the wind baby, nobody gets 'em.
>
> Bill L.
> Clear Posting is the thing to do...
swac
o/~I can see Clear posts now that Deja's gone/I can get all the bandwidth
in my way...o/~
Joolz
Here ya' go buddy!
----------------------------------------------------------
- -
- -
- BUTTER -
- -
- -
----------------------------------------------------------
Jules
Sorry - not good enough to draw the "Land-O-Lakes Indian Lady/Breast" trick
Bill Livingston
Wow, thanks! This is really - hey, this says "Chiffon" on the side!
It's not nice to fool Mother Nature! *kr-kow*
>Jules
>Sorry - not good enough to draw the "Land-O-Lakes Indian Lady/Breast" trick
Can you at least do the George Washington/mushroom trick?
Bill L.
Wondering whatever happened to Chiffon margarine
Stephen Cooke
On Thu, 4 Oct 2001, Bill Livingston wrote:
> Bill L.
> Wondering whatever happened to Chiffon margarine
All I know is, Jess looked great in it.
swac
*rowr*
Bill Livingston
It certainly gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "spreadably delicious",
didn't it?
Bill L.
If you think it's butter, but it's not - it's Jess!
Jess Nevins
Bill Livingston wrote:
> Previously on "What About Joan?", Stephen Cooke wrote:
> >On Thu, 4 Oct 2001, Bill Livingston wrote:
> >>Bill L.
> >>Wondering whatever happened to Chiffon margarine
> >
> >All I know is, Jess looked great in it.
>
> It certainly gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "spreadably delicious",
> didn't it?
>
> Bill L.
> If you think it's butter, but it's not - it's Jess!
In a world of change and Bad Craziness, we can always at least rely
upon Bill to be funny.
Thanks, Bill!
jess
Bill Livingston
We can? Dah, that is, yes. Yes, we can.
>Thanks, Bill!
De nada. And welcome back, Jess.
Bill L.
Excuse me - *Professor* Jess.