Joel rules!
CC
Any takers?
--
Chris Conroy c...@broadwing.com
Broadwing Communications Inc.
"helping your ideas take flight"
Video € Multimedia € WWW Designs
http://www.broadwing.com
603/497-4072 € 603/497-6066 (fax)
lupton
On 15 Nov 1996, Stephen Cooke wrote:
> CC (c...@broadwing.com) wrote:
> : Any takers?
>
> Sure. Joel cannot pass go and he cannot collect $200. He can't smoke in
> the elevator. He has to touch the tree *before* yelling "Olly olly oxen
> free". And, he must wash his hands before reentering the restaurant.
>
> Did I forget any?
I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed him after
midnight.
Q
I need you to arc it up a little, Dick
Jess Nevins
CC wrote:
>
> Any takers?
Yeah, but the Joel Rules went out of fashion with the PDP-11. I mean,
if you want to do any computing these days, you need either the Nelson
IP or the Sampo Protocols...
jess
Jim Ellwanger
In article <Pine.SUN.3.92.96111...@mekab.usc.edu>, lupton
<lup...@mekab.usc.edu> wrote:
Joel is also available only in limited areas not served by local broadcast
affiliates.
--
Jim Ellwanger <trai...@mindspring.com>
<http://www.mindspring.com/~trainman1/>
"More insomniacs get their news from ABC News..."
Stephen Cooke
Sure. Joel cannot pass go and he cannot collect $200. He can't smoke in
the elevator. He has to touch the tree *before* yelling "Olly olly oxen
free". And, he must wash his hands before reentering the restaurant.
Did I forget any?
--
Stephen "Steve" Cooke
Halifax, NS
am...@ccn.cs.dal.ca
"Slugbug!" *whack* "Oww!"
What this country needs is plenty of...
____ ____ ______
|_ \ / __| ____ / _____> __________
| \/ | ____|_ _| / / |_ _| |_ ____ |
| | / \\ \ / / | | | | \|
/ /\ / | / ** \\ \/ / | | | |__
/ / \/ | | | **** | > < | | | __|
/ / _| |_ \ ** // /\ \ | | | |
/ / |___| \____// / _\ \_ _| |_ __| |_____
<_/ ___/ / |_____||______||__________/
<____/
Michelle Saito
lupton <lup...@mekab.usc.edu> wrote:
> I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed him after
>midnight.
Oh, but what if I reeeeaaaally want to...?
Unless he's going to make big, green, evil Joels... Hmmm... maybe I
won't then.
-Michelle
Carrie Dahlby
In article <yournamehere...@141.224.64.57>,
yourna...@augsburg.edu () wrote:
<stuff>
This has been YOURNAMEHERE reporting.
(and you thought those days were over!)
--
Carrie "No Nickname" Dahlby, MSTie (goddess) #62537
FCIC #132, TSFC (tba), OCMOC (no #)
OPERA DIVA AND PRIMADONNA TO-BE
*
|\
| \
|
|
,8888
88888
`888'
MUSIC MAJORS UNITE!
"That planet should comb its hair over its bald spot." -Crow T. Robot
yourna...@augsburg.edu
In article <56geqk$l...@News.Dal.Ca>, am...@chebucto.ns.ca (Stephen Cooke)
wrote:
> CC (c...@broadwing.com) wrote:
> : Any takers?
>
> Sure. Joel cannot pass go and he cannot collect $200. He can't smoke in
> the elevator. He has to touch the tree *before* yelling "Olly olly oxen
> free". And, he must wash his hands before reentering the restaurant.
He must be talking about Billy Joel. But he didn't start the fire, so the
rules must apply to someone else.
--
Carrie "No Nickname" Dahlby, MSTie (goddess) #62537
FCIC #132, TSFC (tba), OCMOC (no #)
OPERA DIVA AND PRIMADONNA TO-BE
*
|\
| \
|
|
,8888
88888
`888'
MUSIC MAJORS UNITE!
"That planet should comb its hair over its bald spot." -Crow T. Robot
(Biting my tongue! No, Carrie! Don't take the bait!!!)
You, my friend, are giving Joel fans a bad name.
(I wonder what CC stands for? Comedy Central?!?!?)
Jonathan L Bare
Carrie Dahlby (dah...@augsburg.edu) wrote:
: In article <yournamehere...@141.224.64.57>,
: yourna...@augsburg.edu () wrote:
:
: <stuff>
:
: This has been YOURNAMEHERE reporting.
:
: (and you thought those days were over!)
Actually they're just beginning for me... So far I've got "From downtown
Bostin, I'm Jonathan Bare." And "Reporting from Boston University, I'm
Jonathan Bare."
Oh, and if Joel gets in eyes, flush with water, contact physician and
induce vomitting immediately.
jonathan "going to l." bare
--
jlb...@bu.edu <l|l> jlb...@csd.uwm.edu
"I think I like Wisconsin."
-- _That_Thing_You_Do_
**Visit The Varma Shrine** at http://www.uwm.edu/~jlbare/varma.html
Spork The Mango Weasel
In article <cc-141196...@zippy.mv.com>,
c...@broadwing.com (CC) slobbered all over the keyboard while writing:
> Any takers?
??? I'm not sure just what the "Joel Rules" would encompass, but I feel
certain they would involve waffles...
Brian Dunkle
In article <cc-141196...@zippy.mv.com>, CC <c...@broadwing.com> wrote:
>Any takers?
I think you need to increase or decrease your dosage, depending
on what drugs you're on.
("Takers?"...Huh?)
--
* Brian Dunkle * Comp. Sys. Manager; general computer guy, networks 'n' stuff
* Division of Biomedical Communications, AHSC, Tucson AZ (much too hot)
* bdu...@biocom.arizona.edu http://www.biocom.arizona.edu/~bdunkle
* Home of $$$ MAKE FUN OF MAKE MONEY FAST $$$ page - because someone had to.
Andrew Litt
Brian Dunkle wrote:
>
> In article <cc-141196...@zippy.mv.com>, CC <c...@broadwing.com> wrote:
> >Any takers?
>
> I think you need to increase or decrease your dosage, depending
> on what drugs you're on.
>
> ("Takers?"...Huh?)
>
Well I think he's got a dangerously blood-chocolate level. It'll do
that to ya.
--
- Andrew Litt -------------------------- http://www.ece.utexas.edu/~litt
-
- ajl...@mail.utexas.edu
-------------------------------------------------
Lorelle Anderson
c...@broadwing.com (CC) wrote:
>Any takers?
Why yes, we all have taken part in the notice-and-comment portion of
the administrative procedure for implementing the Joel rules, as
required by the Administrative Procedure Act. The results will soon
be published in the Federal Register, and the resulting final Joel
rules will be promulgated in the next Joel Agency pamphlet. Hope this
helps.
Lorelle
don't mess with a girl who's taken Admin law!
* Lorelle Anderson * land...@ids2.idsonline.com * devotchka *
To see, to hear, to touch, to kiss, to die with thee again
in sweetest sympathy...
* John Dowland, 1597 *
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
lupton (lup...@mekab.usc.edu) wrote:
: On 15 Nov 1996, Stephen Cooke wrote:
: > CC (c...@broadwing.com) wrote:
: > : Any takers?
: > Sure. Joel cannot pass go and he cannot collect $200. He can't smoke in
: > the elevator. He has to touch the tree *before* yelling "Olly olly oxen
: > free". And, he must wash his hands before reentering the restaurant.
: I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed him after
: midnight.
Well, you aren't supposed to use Joel while operating heavy machinery.
Also, the Joel offer is not good in Utah. Further restrictions may
reply, and the odds of winning Joel are 1:5,600,000. Oh, and you must
close all your if loops when programming in Joel with an endif.
--
Chad Gould aka Soundwave |-X5/D50/DX27S/Juno106/TX16W/BE5-|
internet: cgo...@gate.net |-M1000/Dr550mkII/SE70/MS1402VLZ-|
http://www.webcom.com/cgould/ |Make Happy the Harmonica Happy!!|
"It's not an easy thing to meet your maker" - Blade Runner
thi...@aol.com
Do not taunt Happy Fun Joel.
Joel void where prohibited.
One Joel in the hand are worth two Joels in the bush.
Don't Joel in bed.
"So what this movie's saying is; in this crazy, mixed up world, don't reach out for love or human understanding, or you'll just become part of a gruesome lab experiment."
-Mike Nelson, _MST3K:_The Brain_That_Wouldn't_Die_
The Thing
Thi...@AOL.com
MiSTie #71,792
Origami Duck
c...@broadwing.com (CC) wrote:
>Any takers?
Isn't "Joel Rules" the title for the new season of that MTV show?
No right turn on Joel
Speed Limit: Joel
Always fasten your Joel Belt
Depress brake pedal before shifting Joel from Park
You cannot drive if your blood-Joel level is above .10
(or .08 depending on the state you're in)
eri...@aol.com
1. Joel must be kept out of the vicinity of the other Joels, lest they all
surrender to their primitive territorial instincts and begin the historic
joelwar of the invention exchange all over again.
2. No swimming until a full hour has passed since you've encountered a
Joel.
3. Do not look directly into the Joel.
4. Drinking and Joeling do not mix.
5. Just say "Joel".
6. Joely the Joel says "Only =you= can prevent forest Joels".
7. Joel is as Joel does.
8. Wash Joel before your first wearing of Joel; do not dry clean.
9. As with most electrical appliances, parts of this Joel are alive even
when switch is off; keep out of water or risk having the Joel shocked out
of you.
10. And, last but certainly not least, always say thank you or at least
say please.
Erin, MSTie # 71925
MonkeyPaw
thi...@aol.com wrote:
>
> Do not taunt Happy Fun Joel.
> Joel void where prohibited.
> One Joel in the hand are worth two Joels in the bush.
> Don't Joel in bed.
In Joel We Trust
Give Me Liberty or Give Me Joel
Read My Lips! No New Joels!
What If Joel Was One Of Us?
The Sun Cant Shine On The Same Joels Ass Everyday.
--
MonkeyPaw
*********************************************************************
Every Year MSTies Make Hundreds Of Web Sites,
THIS Is One Of Them - http://www.geocities.com/Area51/3010/index.html
Monk...@worldnet.att.net
*********************************************************************
Carrie Dahlby
In article <328E04...@worldnet.att.net>, MonkeyPaw
<Monk...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> thi...@aol.com wrote:
> >
> > Do not taunt Happy Fun Joel.
> > Joel void where prohibited.
> > One Joel in the hand are worth two Joels in the bush.
> > Don't Joel in bed.
> In Joel We Trust
> Give Me Liberty or Give Me Joel
> Read My Lips! No New Joels!
> What If Joel Was One Of Us?
> The Sun Cant Shine On The Same Joels Ass Everyday.
Oh, for fun! A Joel cascade!!!!
JOEL: It does a body good.
JOEL: It's the nighttime, sniffling, sneezy, stuffy head, aching, fever
so-you-can-rest medicine.
JOEL: It's what's for dinner.
JOEL: The other white meat.
JOEL: Use some, or get none.
--
Carrie "Joel is a Mega-Babe" Dahlby, MSTie (goddess) #62537
FCIC #132, OCMOC (no #), TSFC (tba)
hot...@aol.com
Joel cleans away stubborn soap scum, dirt and stains from bathroom
surfaces. Then, Joel invisibly waterproofs nonpourous bathroom surfaces to
resist dirt from sticking and building up.
Shelby
hot...@aol.com
creepygirl
On Fri, 15 Nov 1996, Lorelle Anderson wrote:
> c...@broadwing.com (CC) wrote:
>
> >Any takers?
>
> Why yes, we all have taken part in the notice-and-comment portion of
> the administrative procedure for implementing the Joel rules, as
> required by the Administrative Procedure Act. The results will soon
> be published in the Federal Register, and the resulting final Joel
> rules will be promulgated in the next Joel Agency pamphlet. Hope this
> helps.
(twitches violently as really complex and arcane caselaw flashes through
her mind)
Actually, my most vivid memories of Admin Law are of trying to avoid
getting spat on my the good-hearted but saliva-abundant professor. And
trying not to flinch when hit.
> Lorelle
> don't mess with a girl who's taken Admin law!
Yeah! And be sure not to mess with a girl who's taken Admin Law, and
who's taking the maximum number of credit hours, who's had her life
disrupted by Bill Clinton twice in the last two weeks, and who doesn't have
access to her boyfriend or her favorite brand of mint chocolate chip ice
cream . . . because I'll bitch and moan at you. A lot.
--creepygirl, who can't escape Admin Law--it's everywhere!
Noah Singman
creepygirl wrote:
> Lorelle wrote:
> > don't mess with a girl who's taken Admin law!
> Yeah! And be sure not to mess with a girl who's taken Admin Law, and
> who's taking the maximum number of credit hours, who's had her life
> disrupted by Bill Clinton twice in the last two weeks, and who doesn't
> have access to her boyfriend or her favorite brand of mint chocolate
> chip ice cream . . . because I'll bitch and moan at you. A lot.
You know, you guys need to take some practical classes. Yeah, sure,
maybe administrative law has some value in certain practices, but I
thought all you guys wanted to be great litigators when you graduated.
You don't want to do real estate closings, or estate management - you
want to make a difference! And get rich!!
And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
Noah
MST#59539
You don't want me on your jury.
M-D November
In article <trainman1-ya023180...@news.mindspring.com>,
trai...@mindspring.com (Jim Ellwanger) wrote:
> In article <Pine.SUN.3.92.96111...@mekab.usc.edu>, lupton
> <lup...@mekab.usc.edu> wrote:
>
> >On 15 Nov 1996, Stephen Cooke wrote:
> >
> >> CC (c...@broadwing.com) wrote:
> >> : Any takers?
> >>
> >> Sure. Joel cannot pass go and he cannot collect $200. He can't smoke in
> >> the elevator. He has to touch the tree *before* yelling "Olly olly oxen
> >> free". And, he must wash his hands before reentering the restaurant.
> >>
> >> Did I forget any?
> >
> > I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed him after
> >midnight.
>
> Joel is also available only in limited areas not served by local broadcast
> affiliates.
No part of Joel may be reproduced or retransmitted without the express
written consent of Major League Baseball.
--------------------------------------------------------
"I'm HUGE!!!"
-Tom Servo
M-D November aka "The Critic" * MSTie #69630
mnov...@mailbox.syr.edu ** http://web.syr.edu/~mnovembe
Nemo
In article <56geqk$l...@News.Dal.Ca>,
am...@chebucto.ns.ca (Stephen Cooke) wrote:
>
> CC (c...@broadwing.com) wrote:
> : Any takers?
> Sure. Joel cannot pass go and he cannot collect $200. He can't smoke in
> the elevator. He has to touch the tree *before* yelling "Olly olly oxen
> free". And, he must wash his hands before reentering the restaurant.
> Did I forget any?
> Stephen "Steve" Cooke
> Halifax, NS
Joel Rules? Is that anything like Road Rules on MTV? I can see it now.
Joel, Servo, Crow, Gypsy, Forrester, and Frank go on a cross-country trip
across the country (from the dep. of redundancy dep.) in a big Winnebago
and must perform stupid, pointless tasks that MTV says they must do since they're
putting them on TV. During the trip, Joel and everyone are constantly going
at each other's throats, as who wouldn't while sitting in a big Winnebago for
hour upon hour.
Next, the Real World VI in Deep 13.
Nemo the Destroyer (we'll let Mike be on the Real World, though)
I hate Deja News automatic sig which follows...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
This article was posted to Usenet via the Posting Service at Deja News:
http://www.dejanews.com/ [Search, Post, and Read Usenet News]
Stephen Cooke
Sadly, life is *not* like a box of Joels.
It's *always* Joel season.
If Joel goes into the gutter and *then* knocks down a pin, it doesn't count.
The first side of Joel may be longer than the second to maintain the
integrity of song selection.
If you love Joel, set him free.
Let not the sands of time get in your Joel.
When purchasing a Volkswagon Joel, check under the engine for oil leaks.
Joel stays crunchy in milk.
Change the batteries in your Joel alarm every six months.
Joel may already be a winner.
--
Stephen "Steve" Cooke
Halifax, NS
Magic Voice
pvp...@aol.com wrote:
>
> -snip-
>
> Manufacturers of JOEL make no claims whatsoever either written or implied
> as to the effectiveness of JOEL. JOEL is not a medically proven
> treatment for any medical condition. JOEL is not a food supplement, nor
> is JOEL taxable (except as prohibited by local municipalities). Use JOEL
> only as directed. Keep JOEL out of direct sunlight. Use JOEL by date on
> label. Please Recycle.
>
Joel has less than half the fat of real butter. Please only use Joel as
directed on the label, not to exceed more than four doses of Joel within
a 24-hour period. Mix Joel in with your favorite fruit juice for a great
afternoon snack. If not satisfied with Joel, please return all unused
portions to the manufacturer.
Magic Voice
ms...@hotmail.com
Brian Dunkle
In article <mnovembe-ya023180...@news.ican.net>,
M-D November <mnov...@mailbox.syr.edu> wrote:
>
>No part of Joel may be reproduced or retransmitted without the express
>written consent of Major League Baseball.
I just wanted to say that that's a good one.
pvp...@aol.com
-snip-
Manufacturers of JOEL make no claims whatsoever either written or implied
as to the effectiveness of JOEL. JOEL is not a medically proven
treatment for any medical condition. JOEL is not a food supplement, nor
is JOEL taxable (except as prohibited by local municipalities). Use JOEL
only as directed. Keep JOEL out of direct sunlight. Use JOEL by date on
label. Please Recycle.
Sorry Tennessee,
Sledge Riprock
Merritt Stone
Spork The Mango Weasel <sp...@frodo.com> wrote in article
<AEB16344...@ts5-11.homenet.ohio-state.edu>...
YES! Plenty of waffles and EARL HOLLIMAN!
Merritt Stone
Tampering in God's Domain
"Johnny transmogrifies. He's a shapeshifter, and *heh* he breaks the
fourth seal."
...Tom Servo, "Johnny at the Fair"
Merritt Stone
> >> Did I forget any?
> >
> > I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed him after
> >midnight.
>
> Joel is also available only in limited areas not served by local
broadcast
> affiliates.
And, ladies, please remain on the Joel until it comes to a complete stop.
Stephen Cooke
Do not remove the tag from Joel under penalty of law.
--
Stephen "Posturepedic" Cooke
Jess Nevins
Stephen Cooke wrote:
>
> Do not remove the tag from Joel under penalty of law.
Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate Joel.
Do not take the brown Joel.
jess
Stephen Cooke
3F18...@ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Chebucto Community Net
Distribution:
Jess Nevins (jjne...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
Do not leave the motor running while refuelling Joel.
--
Stephen "Dor-knob" Cooke
Phil Mueller
in message <328E62...@198.4.75.47>, Noah Singman <sin...@198.4.75.47>
wrote:
>And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
>Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
Right. Next you'll tell me that the 13th amendment bars the draft.
Phil <-- who notes that a certain author whom I wouldn't dream of
mentioning here held that view.
--
Phil Mueller pamu...@sprynet.com
Putting the "twerp" back into "elitist twerp."
Jess Nevins
Phil Mueller wrote:
>
> in message <328E62...@198.4.75.47>, Noah Singman <sin...@198.4.75.47>
> wrote:
>
> >And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
> >Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
>
> Right. Next you'll tell me that the 13th amendment bars the draft.
>
> Phil <-- who notes that a certain author whom I wouldn't dream of
> mentioning here held that view.
Oh, Sydney Sheldon isn't _that_ inflammatory a topic here.
jess
creepygirl
On Sat, 16 Nov 1996, Noah Singman wrote:
> creepygirl wrote:
>
> > Lorelle wrote:
> > > don't mess with a girl who's taken Admin law!
>
> > Yeah! And be sure not to mess with a girl who's taken Admin Law, and
> > (snip!)
> You know, you guys need to take some practical classes. Yeah, sure,
> maybe administrative law has some value in certain practices, but I
> thought all you guys wanted to be great litigators when you graduated.
> You don't want to do real estate closings, or estate management - you
> want to make a difference! And get rich!!
Aw, shucks, Noah, don't worry about that. There are plenty of
opportunities to litigate in admin law--lots and lots of government agencies
to sue. And if you represent Chevron against the EPA, you can get rich
by it.
> And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
> Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
> Noah
> MST#59539
> You don't want me on your jury.
Oh, for God's sake, Noah, if you don't want to serve on a jury, do the
mature thing and show up at court in a bunny suit.
--creepygirl, if you're not gonna be a juror, at least entertain us.:)
Tammy Stephanie Davis
In article <328F3F...@ix.netcom.com>,
Jess Nevins <jjne...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
:Stephen Cooke wrote:
:>
:> Do not remove the tag from Joel under penalty of law.
:
:Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate Joel.
:
:Do not take the brown Joel.
Do not eat yellow Joel.
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
Stephen Cooke (am...@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote:
: 3F18...@ix.netcom.com>
: Organization: Chebucto Community Net
: Distribution:
: : Stephen Cooke wrote:
: : > Do not remove the tag from Joel under penalty of law.
: : Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate Joel.
: : Do not take the brown Joel.
No user serviceable parts inside Joel.
Do not remove Joel cover.
To prevent fire or shock hazard, do not expose Joel to rain or moisture.
Refer servicing of Joel to qualified service personel.
Joel has been tested and found to comply with the limits for a Class B
computing device.
--
Chad Gould aka Soundwave |-X5/D50/DX27S/Juno106/TX16W/BE5-|
internet: cgo...@gate.net |-M1000/Dr550mkII/SE70/MS1402VLZ-|
http://www.webcom.com/cgould/ |Make Happy the Harmonica Happy!!|
"As you raise the (resonance) knob, certain harmonics are emphasized and the
created sound will become... more electronic in nature" - Juno 106 manual
David C Voss
>Jess Nevins <jjne...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>:Stephen Cooke wrote:
>:>
>:> Do not remove the tag from Joel under penalty of law.
>:
>:Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate Joel.
>:
>:Do not take the brown Joel.
>
Do not remove Joel under penalty of law.
---------------------------------------------------
This message was created and sent using the Cyberdog Mail System.
No Cyberdogs were harmed during the posting of this message.
---------------------------------------------------
Jess Nevins
Tammy Stephanie Davis wrote:
>
> In article <328F3F...@ix.netcom.com>,
> Jess Nevins <jjne...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> :Stephen Cooke wrote:
> :>
> :> Do not remove the tag from Joel under penalty of law.
> :
> :Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate Joel.
> :
> :Do not take the brown Joel.
>
> Do not eat yellow Joel.
*pushmode Zappa*
Watch out where the Huskies roll
And don't you eat that yellow Joel
*popmode Zappa*
jess
Origami Duck
If JOEL is taken internally induce vomiting immediately and contact
your local JOEL control board
Mixing JOEL and VARMA may cause a volitile reaction, avoid
interaction.
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
Noah Singman (sin...@198.4.75.47) wrote:
: And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
: Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
Cause it's easy to get out of jury duty by MSTing the trial.
-sw- [If humming the People's Court theme doesn't work, let alone saying
"I know you've been sworn, I've read your complaints", bring out
the Kentucky Fried Movie material]
--
Chad Gould aka Soundwave |-X5/D50/DX27S/Juno106/TX16W/BE5-|
internet: cgo...@gate.net |-M1000/Dr550mkII/SE70/MS1402VLZ-|
http://www.webcom.com/cgould/ |Make Happy the Harmonica Happy!!|
"You have been terminated. Have a nice day!" - Safe Cracker pinball
Jonathan L Bare
Soundwave [Chad Gould] (cgo...@gate.net) wrote:
: Noah Singman (sin...@198.4.75.47) wrote:
: : And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
: : Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
:
: Cause it's easy to get out of jury duty by MSTing the trial.
As seen in the O.J. civil trial, just dozing off will do the trick... Who
wouldn't doze off during DNA evidence?
jonathan "fluffing his pillow, the l. stands for leizure" bare
--
jlb...@bu.edu <l|l> jlb...@csd.uwm.edu
"I think I like Wisconsin."
-- _That_Thing_You_Do_
**Visit The Varma Shrine** at http://www.uwm.edu/~jlbare/varma.html
u9...@academic.truman.edu
In article <01bbd460$c4e4d2a0$3856bccc@Howitzer>,
"Merritt Stone" <howi...@pixi.com> wrote:
>
> > >> Did I forget any?
> > >
> > > I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed him after
> > >midnight.
> >
> > Joel is also available only in limited areas not served by local
> broadcast
> > affiliates.
> And, ladies, please remain on the Joel until it comes to a complete stop.
Do not take more than four Joel in a 24-hour period.
Minnesota residents add 5.6% Joel tax.
No Joel or drinks allowed in the computer lab.
Please clean up after Joel in public areas.
Do not mix Joel with bases.
Wear Joel at all times while in chemistry lab.
You must state your Joel in the form of a question.
Keep circulating the Joel.
Do not exceed the Joel limit of 55 j.p.h.
Release the parking Joel before taking the car out of park.
Do not mix Mother Forrester with Joel.
To insure Joel works correctly, please have Joel cleaned every
two weeks.
Nemo the Destroyer (any suggestions on Nemo rules?)
Don't Joel and Drive
Somebody really oughta be saving these for something.
This is the coolest thread I've seen here!
Bill Livingston
Previously on "Remote Control", "Merritt Stone" wrote:
>> >> Did I forget any?
>> >
>> > I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed him after
>> >midnight.
>>
>> Joel is also available only in limited areas not served by local
>broadcast
>> affiliates.
>
>And, ladies, please remain on the Joel until it comes to a complete stop.
You must come as close as you can to the actual retail price of Joel without
going over.
Bill L.
And if you're within $100, you win BOTH JOELS!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
bi...@Traveller.COM http://www.Traveller.COM/~bill
Best if Used by Date on Label
Enoch Forrester
On 18 Nov 1996, Soundwave [Chad Gould] wrote:
> Cause it's easy to get out of jury duty by MSTing the trial.
> -sw- [If humming the People's Court theme doesn't work, let alone saying
> "I know you've been sworn, I've read your complaints", bring out
> the Kentucky Fried Movie material]
"I think it's pronounced 'heenus!'"
/-------------------------------------------------------------------------\
| % Katie opens % ** Kevin Eric Snell ** % the kitchen sash % |
| "Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of |
| starvation, too o' course."--Dibbler ("Voyager! Fools!"--Cap. Braxton) |
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Larry MacGregor
This Joel not valid in sectors "R" and "N"
Larry, oh man, they never come up into the hills
Noah Singman
Soundwave [Chad Gould] wrote:
> Noah wrote:
> : And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
> : Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
I tried!! I've only been forcibly empanelled once, and I tried to get
out of it by being obnoxious (yes, I know, it's hard to imagine). But
even after luring the judge right into my trap (he asked about hobbies,
I mentioned Ayn Rand's philosophy, he asked what it was, CLANG!!), I was
still kept.
Next time, I will just try MSTing.
Noah
MST#59539
Your Honor, if the scummy rodent was indicted, fry him!!
David C Voss
>X-Originating-IP-Addr: 150.243.9.4 (DBLAB04.truman.edu)
>X-Authenticated-Sender: u9...@academic.truman.edu
>Lines: 46
>
>In article <01bbd460$c4e4d2a0$3856bccc@Howitzer>,
> "Merritt Stone" <howi...@pixi.com> wrote:
>>
>> > >> Did I forget any?
>> > >
>> > > I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed
>him after
>> > >midnight.
>> >
>> > Joel is also available only in limited areas not served by
>local
>> broadcast
>> > affiliates.
>> And, ladies, please remain on the Joel until it comes to a
>complete stop.
>
>
>Minnesota residents add 5.6% Joel tax.
>
>No Joel or drinks allowed in the computer lab.
>
>Please clean up after Joel in public areas.
>
>Do not mix Joel with bases.
>
>Wear Joel at all times while in chemistry lab.
>
>You must state your Joel in the form of a question.
>
>Keep circulating the Joel.
>
>Do not exceed the Joel limit of 55 j.p.h.
>
>Release the parking Joel before taking the car out of park.
>
>Do not mix Mother Forrester with Joel.
>
>To insure Joel works correctly, please have Joel cleaned every
>two weeks.
>
>Nemo the Destroyer (any suggestions on Nemo rules?)
>Don't Joel and Drive
In case of a water landing, Joel may be used as a flotation device.
You must be as tall as this sign to ride the Joel.
Please keep your hands and feet inside the Satellite until Joel has
come to a complete stop.
Stop, Look, and Listen before crossing Joel.
Do not put Mike into a vehicle labeled "Unleaded Joel Only."
Do not open Emergency Joel. Alarm will sound.
Please return your Joel to his original upright position.
---------------------------------------------------
This message was created and sent using the CyberJoel Mail System
---------------------------------------------------
Brian N. Pacula
In article <56pakn$b...@uwm.edu>, jlb...@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu (Jonathan L
Bare) wrote:
> Soundwave [Chad Gould] (cgo...@gate.net) wrote:
> : Noah Singman (sin...@198.4.75.47) wrote:
> : : And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
> : : Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
> :
> : Cause it's easy to get out of jury duty by MSTing the trial.
>
> As seen in the O.J. civil trial, just dozing off will do the trick... Who
> wouldn't doze off during DNA evidence?
Yeah! Stupid science facts, cluttering up perfectly useful brain cells. Pah!
--
Brian N. Pacula, who got a B+ on his RFLP test. [www.wenet.com/~bpacula]
"Shut up, Mr. Burton! You were not put upon this world to 'Get it.'"
-- David Lo Pan
Carrie Dahlby
> Minnesota residents add 5.6% Joel tax.
Nice try, Nemo, but the Joel tax around here is 6.5%. But it's worth it,
for unlimited Joel priveleges!
--
Carrie "No Nickname" Dahlby, MSTie (goddess) #62537
FCIC #132, OCMOC (no #), TSFC (tba)
OPERA DIVA AND PRIMADONNA TO-BE
*
|\
| \
|
|
,8888
88888
`888'
MUSIC MAJORS UNITE!
"That planet should comb its hair over its bald spot." -Crow T. Robot
Carrie Dahlby
Any takers?
C'mon, you know you wanna!
Mad Bill
In article <848275...@dejanews.com>, u9...@academic.truman.edu writes:
|> In article <01bbd460$c4e4d2a0$3856bccc@Howitzer>,
|> "Merritt Stone" <howi...@pixi.com> wrote:
|> >
|> > > >> Did I forget any?
|> > > >
|> > > > I thought you weren't supposed to get him wet or feed him after
|> > > >midnight.
|> > >
|> > > Joel is also available only in limited areas not served by local
|> > broadcast
|> > > affiliates.
|> > And, ladies, please remain on the Joel until it comes to a complete stop.
|>
|> Do not take more than four Joel in a 24-hour period.
|>
|> Minnesota residents add 5.6% Joel tax.
|>
|> No Joel or drinks allowed in the computer lab.
|>
|> Please clean up after Joel in public areas.
|>
|> Do not mix Joel with bases.
|>
|> Wear Joel at all times while in chemistry lab.
|>
|> You must state your Joel in the form of a question.
|>
|> Keep circulating the Joel.
|>
|> Do not exceed the Joel limit of 55 j.p.h.
|>
|> Release the parking Joel before taking the car out of park.
|>
|> Do not mix Mother Forrester with Joel.
|>
|> To insure Joel works correctly, please have Joel cleaned every
|> two weeks.
|>
|> Don't Joel and Drive
|>
Preheat Joel to 450 degrees, then cook for 11-15 minutes or until cheese
is golden brown.
Please keep your arms and legs inside the Joel at all times.
Do not operate machinery or drive an automobile while under the
influence of Joel.
If you are pregnant, have heart pains, asthma, high blood pressure or
any broken limbs, consult a doctor before using Joel.
Remember to store Joel in a cool, dry location.
Brian Dunkle
In article <329149...@198.4.75.47>,
>> : And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
>> : Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
>
>> Cause it's easy to get out of jury duty by MSTing the trial.
>
>out of it by being obnoxious (yes, I know, it's hard to imagine). But
>even after luring the judge right into my trap (he asked about hobbies,
>I mentioned Ayn Rand's philosophy, he asked what it was, CLANG!!), I was
>still kept.
>
>Next time, I will just try MSTing.
>
>Noah
>MST#59539
>Your Honor, if the scummy rodent was indicted, fry him!!
i dunno, I never have a problem with jury duty. I think of it
this way: should I be put on trial for something (which can certainly
happen out of nowhere, even though I'm sure I'd be innocent...um), I'd
much rather have someone like me (i.e. someone with a brain) on the jury
than the barrel-scrapings it seems like normally serve.
And I figure it's only fair I offer that service to others.
Just my $4.
Brian, just call me Mr. Civic Duty, or doodie, depending. :)
--
* Brian Dunkle * Comp. Sys. Manager; general computer guy, networks 'n' stuff
* Division of Biomedical Communications, AHSC, Tucson AZ (much too hot)
* bdu...@biocom.arizona.edu http://www.biocom.arizona.edu/~bdunkle
* Home of $$$ MAKE FUN OF MAKE MONEY FAST $$$ page - because someone had to.
Carl D. Burke
Larry MacGregor wrote:
>
> This Joel not valid in sectors "R" and "N"
>
> Larry, oh man, they never come up into the hills
I think we're ALL Joels on this bus.
--
Barcode, hey, Paulo, he broke the Joel!
--------------------------------------------------
Carl Burke, cbu...@mitre.org -- Morde me, iuvat
My opinions are mine and mine alone, unless you
agree with them. Then I'll share.
--------------------------------------------------
In the world of nightmares there are three separate
levels... the pits of fire, the mouth of the mud
badger, and telemarketing. -- Jay Martin, "Tommy"
--------------------------------------------------
Jon Hall
In article <cc-141196...@zippy.mv.com> c...@broadwing.com (CC) writes:
>Any takers?
Sure. Glad to help.
Joel rules:
When making Joel possessive, use an apostrophe followed by an 's,' as
illustrated: Joel's.
When making Joel plural, use an 's,' as illustrated: Joels.
When making Joel both plural and possessive, use an 's' followed by an
apostrophe, as illustrated: Joels'.
Please adhere to these rules carefully.
Jon, who should use this as an example for his freshman comp students.
chana...@aol.com
In article <dahlby-16...@141.224.64.40>, dah...@augsburg.edu
(Carrie Dahlby) writes:
>Any takers?
>
>C'mon, you know you wanna!
>
>
Yeah, I wanna. Let me get my oven mitts.
Jungle Goddess
MSTie #54796
"Children's windows of perception are open for only a second only to take
in the horror that is the circus." -- Tom Servo
Chris Gleason
Stephen Cooke <am...@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote in article
<56kcou$c...@News.Dal.Ca>...
> Sadly, life is *not* like a box of Joels.
> It's *always* Joel season.
> If Joel goes into the gutter and *then* knocks down a pin, it doesn't
count.
> The first side of Joel may be longer than the second to maintain the
> integrity of song selection.
> If you love Joel, set him free.
> Let not the sands of time get in your Joel.
> When purchasing a Volkswagon Joel, check under the engine for oil
leaks.
> Joel stays crunchy in milk.
> Change the batteries in your Joel alarm every six months.
> Joel may already be a winner.
Joel's contents may have settled during shipping.
Happy Fun Joel may stick to certain kinds of skin.
Lather. Rinse. Joel.
If Joel does not clear within three days, consult a physician.
WARNING: Joel is not effective without seatbelts.
Red sky at morning: Joels take warning. Red sky at night: Joels
delight.
Place diskette in drive a: and run "JOEL.EXE" to install.
Children under 17 must be accompanied by Joel.
Pull Joel up, then down.
The President is not chosen by the popular vote, but rather by the
Electoral Joel.
Pedestrians have the right-of-Joel.
Affix Postage Joel Here.
Push button. Rub hands together. Joel will stop automatically.
For best results, add Joel to the tub BEFORE adding laundry.
Bow down before me, Son of Jo-el.
In case of cabin decompression, place Joel over face and breathe
normally.
<KING OF SIAM>
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!
</KING OF SIAM>
--
I could go on. Really.,
Chris Gleason
mow...@cts.com
http://www.meals-on-wheels.org/cgleason.html
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
Noah Singman (sin...@198.4.75.47) wrote:
: Soundwave [Chad Gould] wrote:
: > Noah wrote:
: > : And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
: > : Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
: > Cause it's easy to get out of jury duty by MSTing the trial.
: I tried!! I've only been forcibly empanelled once, and I tried to get
: out of it by being obnoxious (yes, I know, it's hard to imagine). But
: even after luring the judge right into my trap (he asked about hobbies,
: I mentioned Ayn Rand's philosophy, he asked what it was, CLANG!!), I was
: still kept.
There was your mistake. For hobbies, you should have said something like
"recreational narcotics - I take Nyquil for my colds! I kid!" or
something equally obnoxious and looney. Unless you've got judge Harry
Stone of Night Court, they won't be amused.
-sw- [Come to think of it, Night Court is another way to get lots of
cheap MSTing so you can get out of jury duty...]
--
Chad Gould aka Soundwave |-X5/D50/DX27S/Juno106/TX16W/BE5-|
internet: cgo...@gate.net |-M1000/Dr550mkII/SE70/MS1402VLZ-|
http://www.webcom.com/cgould/ |Make Happy the Harmonica Happy!!|
"Life is like a crap sandwich... the more bread you put on, the less crap you
have to take" - Tom Servo, MST3K
MonkeyPaw
Carrie Dahlby wrote:
>
> Any takers?
>
> C'mon, you know you wanna!
Well, just dont stand there ! Get that a man a glass of Crystal Light
Iced Tea.
MonkeyPaw
*********************************************************************
Every Year MSTies Make Hundreds Of Web Sites,
THIS Is One Of Them - http://www.geocities.com/Area51/3010/index.html
Monk...@worldnet.att.net
*********************************************************************
eri...@aol.com
Well, yeah, if he landed in Australia on a summer day while wearing the
jumpsuit...
Duh! :P
Erin, MSTie # 71925
Stephen Cooke
: C'mon, you know you wanna!
Pull opposite corners of Microwave Joel to open bag. Turn face to avoid
steam emission.
--
Stephen "Steve" Cooke
Halifax, NS
am...@ccn.cs.dal.ca
"Slugbug!" *whack* "Oww!"
What this country needs is plenty of...
____ ____ ______
|_ \ / __| ____ / _____> __________
| \/ | ____|_ _| / / |_ _| |_ ____ |
| | / \\ \ / / | | | | \|
/ /\ / | / ** \\ \/ / | | | |__
/ / \/ | | | **** | > < | | | __|
/ / _| |_ \ ** // /\ \ | | | |
/ / |___| \____// / _\ \_ _| |_ __| |_____
<_/ ___/ / |_____||______||__________/
<____/
Noah Singman
creepygirl wrote:
> Noah wrote:
> > And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
> > Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
> mature thing and show up at court in a bunny suit.
This isn't a matter of pragmatism; it's a matter of principle. Jury
duty is a clear example of involuntary servitude, and is not only
unconstitutional, it's wrong. We shouldn't have to resort to cheap
gimmicks to be free!
Noah
MST#59539
And they don't have bunny suits in my size. I looked.
Stephen Cooke
Joel is sold by weight, not by volume.
Unauthorized reproduction, copying and rental of Joel is prohibited by law.
Home taping is killing Joel.
Joel doesn't cotton to grasshoppers.
Young boys with magnifying glasses are not Joel's friends.
Watch out for Joel!
Please turn down your Joel (where applicable).
MST: Joel is listening.
Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but Joel.
There can be only one! (Joel, that is)
David Tabb
lm...@visi.net (Larry MacGregor) wrote:
>This Joel not valid in sectors "R" and "N"
Stop, drop, and Joel.
Noah Singman
Brian Dunkle wrote:
> i dunno, I never have a problem with jury duty. I think of it
> this way: should I be put on trial for something (which can certainly
> happen out of nowhere, even though I'm sure I'd be innocent...um), I'd
> much rather have someone like me (i.e. someone with a brain) on the
> jury than the barrel-scrapings it seems like normally serve.
> And I figure it's only fair I offer that service to others.
> Just my $4.
[Warning - libertarian sentiment contained below - proceed carefully]
Brian, I am in complete agreement with you. We've seen many examples
lately of why folks like YOU need to be on juries. But my problem is
not with your argument. It's simply with the idea of being FORCED to be
on a jury. I might choose to be a juror, but I'm given no choice.
Noah
MST#59539
And don't they pay $12 a day? For most of my colleagues, that's about 4
minutes of work for our clients.
Magic Voice
Please do! Go ahead, I'm waiting...
Magic Voice
ms...@hotmail.com
MSTie #62809
"I sing whenever I sing whenever I sing..." (The Giant Gila Monster)
Brian N. Pacula
> In article <848275...@dejanews.com>, u9...@academic.truman.edu wrote:
>
> > Minnesota residents add 5.6% Joel tax.
>
> Nice try, Nemo, but the Joel tax around here is 6.5%. But it's worth it,
> for unlimited Joel priveleges!
Which brings us to an important point we must all remember:
Joel is a privilege.
NOT a right.
--
Brian N. Pacula [www.wenet.net/~bpacula]
Chris Gleason
Enoch Forrester <kes...@is.nyu.edu> wrote in article
<Pine.OSF.3.95.961118...@is.nyu.edu>...
> > Cause it's easy to get out of jury duty by MSTing the trial.
> > -sw- [If humming the People's Court theme doesn't work, let alone
saying
> > "I know you've been sworn, I've read your complaints", bring
out
> > the Kentucky Fried Movie material]
>
> "I think it's pronounced 'heenus!'"
No, no, no... it's pronounced "Throat War<*WHAP*>....
Ow!
--
Or, "Raymond Luxu<*WHAP*>,
Brian Dunkle
In article <329288...@soho.ios.com>,
Noah Singman <sin...@soho.ios.com> wrote:
>creepygirl wrote:
>
>> Noah wrote:
>> > And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
>> > Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
>
>> Oh, for God's sake, Noah, if you don't want to serve on a jury, do the
>> mature thing and show up at court in a bunny suit.
>
>This isn't a matter of pragmatism; it's a matter of principle. Jury
>duty is a clear example of involuntary servitude, and is not only
>unconstitutional, it's wrong. We shouldn't have to resort to cheap
>gimmicks to be free!
I humbly ask Noah to keep his political beliefs under his hat, as
it were, so that I may do the same with mine.
("you're lust lucky my chick's here, man!")
("well, if I had a chick...")
("and if I did, I sure wouldn't refer to her as 'my chick', or
'chick' at all...")
Uh...
Anyway, blah blah blah, post whatever you want, blah blah, rather
this didn't become a political forum, blah blah blah, cats, blah blah
blah, blounge, blah blah, i love you guys, blah blah blah, touch my
monkey, blah blah blah, all hail Brak! etc.
Did I mention I just bought 5 pizzas? For $2.99 each.
Just thought I'd share that.
Brian Dunkle
In article <32928A...@soho.ios.com>,
(further genial discussion taken to email, because I'm curious
about this position, but most people probably aren't. Please continue
your dada)
ALL HAIL BRAK!
HEY!!! WHAT TIME IS IT?!!!
HEEEEEEY!!! WHAT TIME IS IT?!
Stephen Cooke
Noah Singman (sin...@soho.ios.com) wrote:
: creepygirl wrote:
:
: > Noah wrote:
: > > And why the hell doesn't the Supreme Court realize that the XIIIth
: > > Amendment should keep us out of mandatory jury duty?
:
: > Oh, for God's sake, Noah, if you don't want to serve on a jury, do the
: > mature thing and show up at court in a bunny suit.
: This isn't a matter of pragmatism; it's a matter of principle. Jury
: duty is a clear example of involuntary servitude, and is not only
: unconstitutional, it's wrong. We shouldn't have to resort to cheap
: gimmicks to be free!
Yeah! Who does Pauly Shore think he is, anyway?!?!?!?!?
It's just plain wrong.
Stephen Cooke
: C'mon, you know you wanna!
I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
But I need Joel's love to keep away the cold
They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
But that don't do no good!
Stephen "7 1/2 cents" Cooke
Noah Singman
Brian Dunkle wrote:
> I humbly ask Noah to keep his political beliefs under his hat, as
> it were, so that I may do the same with mine.
True, Brian, but all that stuff was just a distraction setting up the
punch line, which was in the synthe-sig. I apologize if those
sentiments were taken as an actual political post (even though they're
incisive and correct). Had that been an actual political post, I'd have
flamed myself into submission. Or something.
And where do you get 5 pizzas for $2.99?
Noah
MST#59539
We did take the political stuff to e-mail. Sorry if anyone was hurt.
Brian Dunkle
In article <329341...@soho.ios.com>,
Er, $2.99 each, I should have said (I was doped up on pizza).
Little Ceasars had a "customer appreciation day". You could buy up to 5
medium pizzas for $2.99 each.
The wait was about 20 minutes.
Just goes to show that someone like me will spend 20 minutes to
get weak pizza, if it's cheap enough. Why? I don't know.
I'll be eating pizza all weekend, though. :)
>
>Noah
>MST#59539
>We did take the political stuff to e-mail. Sorry if anyone was hurt.
I probably should have just gone ahead and taken it to email
without saying anything...not sure what I was thinking, there.
Like I said, too much pizza.
(hey, what was I supposed to do? My salad wasn't there, and the 5
pizzas looked sooooo fine!)
Brian, I just love how that evil can apply to most anything
M-D November
> Carrie Dahlby (dah...@augsburg.edu) wrote:
> : Any takers?
>
> : C'mon, you know you wanna!
>
> I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
> I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
> I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
> But I need Joel's love to keep away the cold
>
> They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
> They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
> They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
>
> But that don't do no good!
>
> Stephen "7 1/2 cents" Cooke
I applaud your knowledge of "Pajama Game" - especially if no one else got
the ref.
--------------------------------------------------------
"I'm HUGE!!!"
-Tom Servo
M-D November aka "The Critic" * MSTie #69630
mnov...@mailbox.syr.edu ** http://web.syr.edu/~mnovembe
Carl D. Burke
*** Libertarian-esque sentiment warning banner ***
[some snippage for length to meet news server requirements]
Noah Singman wrote:
...
> Brian, I am in complete agreement with you. We've seen many examples
> lately of why folks like YOU need to be on juries. But my problem is
> not with your argument. It's simply with the idea of being FORCED to be
> on a jury. I might choose to be a juror, but I'm given no choice.
>
> Noah
> MST#59539
> And don't they pay $12 a day? For most of my colleagues, that's about 4
> minutes of work for our clients.
I guess it depends on where you are. Around here, you get something
like $15 or $20 per day as expenses, under the assumption that your
employer will provide you with paid leave time to do your civic duty.
Those expenses aren't recoverable by your employer; it isn't pay,
but it takes care of parking and lunch.
New Jersey probably does things differently.
There's also a simple way to avoid serving on juries around here --
don't register to vote. You either participate in the process by
voting and serving in a trial once every three or four years, or you
stay as a parasitic maggot. If we could draft our representatives in
the same way instead of supporting a class of professional liars,
at least at the local level, I'd be all for it.
--
Barcode, but maybe that's just me.
hei...@imap2.asu.edu
Carl D. Burke (cbu...@mitre.org) wrote:
: *** Libertarian-esque sentiment warning banner ***
[snippage]
: There's also a simple way to avoid serving on juries around here --
: don't register to vote. You either participate in the process by
: voting and serving in a trial once every three or four years, or you
: stay as a parasitic maggot. If we could draft our representatives in
: the same way instead of supporting a class of professional liars,
: at least at the local level, I'd be all for it.
Oh, they can get you on a jury in other ways too. I'm not registered to
vote here in Arizona, but I did get a driver's liscence. They tracked me
down through that, I'm assuming, so now I'm on on-call duty for the month
of February.
Actually, it was supposed to be for November, but thankfully I managed to
get it postponed...between Thanksgiving and term papers, November is
*far* too busy for me...
(Original research paper? Due in 2 weeks time? With tons of papers to
read for lectures? No *problem*!)
: --
: Barcode, but maybe that's just me.
: --------------------------------------------------
: Carl Burke, cbu...@mitre.org -- Morde me, iuvat
: My opinions are mine and mine alone, unless you
: agree with them. Then I'll share.
: --------------------------------------------------
: In the world of nightmares there are three separate
: levels... the pits of fire, the mouth of the mud
: badger, and telemarketing. -- Jay Martin, "Tommy"
: --------------------------------------------------
--
Sarah Heiner hei...@asu.edu
Arizona State University
MSTie #53681
| Top Ten Tempe Butte Amusing Comments |
| (These are from reports written by geology lab students.) |
| |
| 3. The rock bed was still drifting to the south. |
u9...@academic.truman.edu
In article <dahlby-16...@141.224.64.40>,
dah...@augsburg.edu (Carrie Dahlby) wrote:
>
> In article <848275...@dejanews.com>, u9...@academic.truman.edu wrote:
> > Minnesota residents add 5.6% Joel tax.
> Nice try, Nemo, but the Joel tax around here is 6.5%. But it's worth it,
> for unlimited Joel priveleges!
We have a pretty mean Joel tax in Missouri, too, but the Mike tax
is much less. There's something for next year's elections about starting
a Frank tax, but we're tired of all these darn taxes.
> --
> Carrie "No Nickname" Dahlby, MSTie (goddess) #62537
> FCIC #132, OCMOC (no #), TSFC (tba)
> OPERA DIVA AND PRIMADONNA TO-BE
> *
> |\
> | \
> |
> |
> ,8888
> 88888
> `888'
> MUSIC MAJORS UNITE!
> "That planet should comb its hair over its bald spot." -Crow T. Robot
Minnesota residents add 27.9% sig file tax.
Eric "Nemo" Granger (hey! It's Nemo's name! Imagine that!)
"Pajama pajama!"--Little Nemo, "Little Nemo in Slumberland"
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Stephen Cooke
M-D November (mnov...@mailbox.syr.edu) wrote:
: > Carrie Dahlby (dah...@augsburg.edu) wrote:
: > : Any takers?
: >
: > : C'mon, you know you wanna!
: >
: > I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
: > I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
: > I got *tlok*tlok* ssssssteam Joel
: > But I need Joel's love to keep away the cold
: >
: > They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
: > They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
: > They told me to shovel more Joel in the boiler
: >
: > But that don't do no good!
: >
: > Stephen "7 1/2 cents" Cooke
: I applaud your knowledge of "Pajama Game" - especially if no one else got
: the ref.
Here's a funny, PJ Game related story...I went to the old movie theatre
in my Mom's old college town, and in the lobby, there was a picture of
teh night they premiered the Pyjama Game and everyone went in their
pyjamas, including my mom! Weird.
This, is my, *once* a year day...
--
Stephen "Steve" Cooke
Jim Ellwanger
In article <570bo1$1r...@news.gate.net>, cgo...@gate.net wrote:
>You know, wouldn't Joel be the perfect person to do those Emergency
>Broadcast messages?
>
>-sw- ["This is a test of the Emergency Joel Broadcast system... this is
>only a test..."]
"The Emergency Joel Broadcast system will soon be replaced by the Emergency
Mike Alert system..."
--
Jim Ellwanger <trai...@mindspring.com>
<http://www.mindspring.com/~trainman1/>
"Ground transportation is at all baggage claim areas."
Derek Janssen
Noah Singman wrote:
>
> Brian Dunkle wrote:
>
> > i dunno, I never have a problem with jury duty. I think of it
> > this way: should I be put on trial for something (which can certainly
> > happen out of nowhere, even though I'm sure I'd be innocent...um), I'd
> > much rather have someone like me (i.e. someone with a brain) on the
> > jury than the barrel-scrapings it seems like normally serve.
> > And I figure it's only fair I offer that service to others.
> > Just my $4.
>
> [Warning - libertarian sentiment contained below - proceed carefully]
>
> lately of why folks like YOU need to be on juries. But my problem is
> not with your argument. It's simply with the idea of being FORCED to be
> on a jury. I might choose to be a juror, but I'm given no choice.
>
> Noah
> MST#59539
> And don't they pay $12 a day? For most of my colleagues, that's about 4
> minutes of work for our clients.
Of course, in MA, where I live, state law is "One Day or One Trial"--
You're called to wait one 9-5 day at the courthouse on standby, and if not
called, you're off the hook for three years...
[inserts ten minutes of "in your face!" and "neener-neener-neener!"'s...] : p
Derek Janssen
djan...@ultranet.com
Magic Voice
Carrie Dahlby wrote:
>
> In article <56tfbp$2...@News.Dal.Ca>, am...@chebucto.ns.ca (Stephen Cooke)
> wrote:
>
> > Joel is sold by weight, not by volume.
> > Unauthorized reproduction, copying and rental of Joel is prohibited by law.
> > Home taping is killing Joel.
> > Joel doesn't cotton to grasshoppers.
> > Young boys with magnifying glasses are not Joel's friends.
> > Watch out for Joel!
> > Please turn down your Joel (where applicable).
> > MST: Joel is listening.
> > Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but Joel.
> > There can be only one! (Joel, that is)
>
>
Me! Me! I did! Um...sorry. Got overly excited for a second there. I'm
all better now (I think...).
Magic Voice (the unofficial Southern sweetheart of RATMM)
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
Noah Singman (sin...@soho.ios.com) wrote:
: True, Brian, but all that stuff was just a distraction setting up the
: punch line, which was in the synthe-sig. I apologize if those
: sentiments were taken as an actual political post (even though they're
: incisive and correct). Had that been an actual political post, I'd have
: flamed myself into submission. Or something.
You know, wouldn't Joel be the perfect person to do those Emergency
Broadcast messages?
-sw- ["This is a test of the Emergency Joel Broadcast system... this is
only a test..."]
--
Chad Gould aka Soundwave |-X5/D50/DX27S/Juno106/TX16W/BE5-|
internet: cgo...@gate.net |-M1000/Dr550mkII/SE70/MS1402VLZ-|
http://www.webcom.com/cgould/ |Make Happy the Harmonica Happy!!|
"You have been terminated. Have a nice day!" - Safe Cracker pinball
Keiko Kawanabe
In article <329371...@ultranet.com>, Derek Janssen
<djan...@ultranet.com> wrote:
>
> Of course, in MA, where I live, state law is "One Day or One Trial"--
> You're called to wait one 9-5 day at the courthouse on standby, and if not
> called, you're off the hook for three years...
>
This past summer I was on call for TEN days during which I could not DO
anything...I just stayed at home and I was only called in TWICE. So
during those 10 days, I really couldn't make any plans to do anything AND
I only earned 10 dollars for it. And chances are I'll get called back
next year.
Oh yeah! also, it was in Hollywood so I had to drive through rush hour
traffic to get there.
And it was my first jury duty experience. (i'm 19) So I wasn't feeling
all that enthusiastic about it.
(grumble grumble)
sigh.
-Keiko
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keiko the PROCRASTINATOR!! Mistie #60213
"normal view! Normal View! NORMAL VIEW!! *NORMAL VIEW*!!!!!!"
-Mike & the 'Bots from MST3K:TM
"It's like squeezing water out of a metronome."
-Gisela J. Bowman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carrie Dahlby
> Joel is sold by weight, not by volume.
> Unauthorized reproduction, copying and rental of Joel is prohibited by law.
> Home taping is killing Joel.
> Joel doesn't cotton to grasshoppers.
> Young boys with magnifying glasses are not Joel's friends.
> Watch out for Joel!
> Please turn down your Joel (where applicable).
> MST: Joel is listening.
> Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but Joel.
> There can be only one! (Joel, that is)
Hmmmm....gee...I *wonder* who went to Joel's Gizmonic Antsite recently?!?
--
Carrie "No Nickname" Dahlby, MSTie (goddess) #62537
FCIC #132, TSFC (tba), OCMOC (no #)
OPERA DIVA AND PRIMADONNA TO-BE
*
|\
| \
|
|
,8888
88888
`888'
MUSIC MAJORS UNITE!
"An actor conveys chilliness." -Mike Nelson, in ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE
Brian Dunkle
In article <329371...@ultranet.com>,
Derek Janssen <djan...@ultranet.com> wrote:
>
>Of course, in MA, where I live, state law is "One Day or One Trial"--
>You're called to wait one 9-5 day at the courthouse on standby, and if not
>called, you're off the hook for three years...
>
Same deal around here. I thought it was all of AZ, but maybe PHX
has different rules? (judging from one of the asu-type women that posted)
Merritt Stone
Carl D. Burke <cbu...@mitre.org> wrote in article <3291D8...@mitre.org>...
> Larry MacGregor wrote:
> >
> > This Joel not valid in sectors "R" and "N"
> >
> > Larry, oh man, they never come up into the hills
>
> I think we're ALL Joels on this bus.
>
> --
> Barcode, hey, Paulo, he broke the Joel!
>
> I'm just looking for the Joel, or someone like him
--
Merritt Stone™
Not quite the solution you expected
Suzanne Schroeder
When Gizmonic Institute shut down, they sent all their workers to Glasgow
where every one of them, clad in red jumpsuits and yellow construction
hats, are currently remodeling the main building of the campus.
____________
Suzanne Schroeder
Jim M.
Merritt Stone wrote:
>
> Carl D. Burke <cbu...@mitre.org> wrote in article <3291D8...@mitre.org>...
> > Larry MacGregor wrote:
> > >
> > > This Joel not valid in sectors "R" and "N"
> > >
> > > Larry, oh man, they never come up into the hills
> >
> > I think we're ALL Joels on this bus.
> >
> > --
> > Barcode, hey, Paulo, he broke the Joel!
> >
> > I'm just looking for the Joel, or someone like him
Don't crush that Joel -- hand ME the pliers!
- Jim M. (got any groat-clusters on ya?) O-
--
http://www.bway.net/~nyjtm
St. Bart's Players (NYC)- http://www.panix.com/~dalroth5 - 1996-97
season!
hei...@imap2.asu.edu
Brian Dunkle (bdu...@biocom.arizona.edu) wrote:
: In article <329371...@ultranet.com>,
: Derek Janssen <djan...@ultranet.com> wrote:
: >
: >Of course, in MA, where I live, state law is "One Day or One Trial"--
: >You're called to wait one 9-5 day at the courthouse on standby, and if not
: >called, you're off the hook for three years...
: >
: >[inserts ten minutes of "in your face!" and "neener-neener-neener!"'s...] : p
: Same deal around here. I thought it was all of AZ, but maybe PHX
: has different rules? (judging from one of the asu-type women that posted)
I think that's for the definite, you-are-coming-to-court type of
summons. What I got is an on-call summons...they can call me in at any
time during February. Thankfully, I do get a day or two's warning, so I
can go about my normal business...e.g. desperately trying to finish my
master's degree.
: --
: * Brian Dunkle * Comp. Sys. Manager; general computer guy, networks 'n' stuff
: * Division of Biomedical Communications, AHSC, Tucson AZ (much too hot)
: * bdu...@biocom.arizona.edu http://www.biocom.arizona.edu/~bdunkle
: * Home of $$$ MAKE FUN OF MAKE MONEY FAST $$$ page - because someone had to.
--
Carrie Dahlby
> > I'm just looking for the Joel, or someone like him.
(sigh) Aren't we all?
(Double sigh)
Carrie Dahlby
In article <3293B4...@hotmail.com>, Magic Voice <ms...@hotmail.com>
wrote:
> Carrie Dahlby wrote:
> >
> > In article <56tfbp$2...@News.Dal.Ca>, am...@chebucto.ns.ca (Stephen Cooke)
> > wrote:
> >
> > > Joel is sold by weight, not by volume.
> > > Unauthorized reproduction, copying and rental of Joel is prohibited by law.
> > > Home taping is killing Joel.
> > > Joel doesn't cotton to grasshoppers.
> > > Young boys with magnifying glasses are not Joel's friends.
> > > Watch out for Joel!
> > > Please turn down your Joel (where applicable).
> > > MST: Joel is listening.
> > > Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but Joel.
> > > There can be only one! (Joel, that is)
> >
> > Hmmmm....gee...I *wonder* who went to Joel's Gizmonic Antsite recently?!?
> >
>
> Me! Me! I did! Um...sorry. Got overly excited for a second there. I'm
> all better now (I think...).
Phew!!! Ya got me awfully excited for a second there!!!!! :)
p.s. JOEL IS HOT!!!!
Chris Gleason
Soundwave [Chad Gould] <cgo...@gate.net> wrote in article
<570bo1$1r...@news.gate.net>...
> You know, wouldn't Joel be the perfect person to do those Emergency
> Broadcast messages?
>
> -sw- ["This is a test of the Emergency Joel Broadcast system... this
is
> only a test..."]
"Aaaaahhh!!! We've got NUCLEAR EXPLOSION SIIIIIIGN!"
--
That would actually be pretty cool,
Mark Rowan
I hope nobody else posted this suggestion, but:
Next time someone posts a Mike vs. Joel thing, respond with a Joel rule
(tm).
Please do not litter: put Joel in an appropriate receptacle.
Jim M. (ny...@bway.net) wrote:
: Merritt Stone wrote:
: >
: > Carl D. Burke <cbu...@mitre.org> wrote in article <3291D8...@mitre.org>...
: > > Larry MacGregor wrote:
: > > >
: > > > This Joel not valid in sectors "R" and "N"
: > > >
: > > > Larry, oh man, they never come up into the hills
: > >
: > > I think we're ALL Joels on this bus.
: > >
: > > --
: > > Barcode, hey, Paulo, he broke the Joel!
: > >
: > > I'm just looking for the Joel, or someone like him
Noah Singman
Derek Janssen wrote:
> Of course, in MA, where I live, state law is "One Day or One Trial"--
> You're called to wait one 9-5 day at the courthouse on standby, and if
> not called, you're off the hook for three years...
Not bad, considering. I think most of the NY metropolitan area now has
call-in to find out if you have to come in the next day.
Now, I wouldn't mind it so much if they had juror aptitude tests (the
J.A.T.?), and you had preference for interesting cases based on your
score. And the pay was proportional to your score.
Nerds rule!!
Noah
MST#59539
Well, the rest of you all got dates . . .
David Anderson
Fairly reliable sources inform me that Derek Janssen wrote:
>Of course, in MA, where I live, state law is "One Day or One Trial"--
>You're called to wait one 9-5 day at the courthouse on standby, and if not
>called, you're off the hook for three years...
>
>[inserts ten minutes of "in your face!" and "neener-neener-neener!"'s...]
Hold off on those "neeners," Derek. "One day/one trial" applies to the STATE
courts, but if you're called to serve in FEDERAL (i.e., U.S. District) court,
you're in the jury pool for a month. (I was empaneled on two trials during my
month in the pool.)
--David, also in MA
--
========*Opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone. Deal with it.*========
* David Anderson * lan...@cybercom.net * http://www.cybercom.net/~lando5 *
* "No, I'm from Iowa...I only WORK in outer space." *
* --James T. Kirk *
========*MSTie #46861 * Sliders, Monty Python & "Weird Al" Yankovic fan*========
Bill Livingston
Previously on "The Double Guy", Carrie Dahlby wrote:
>In article <3293B4...@hotmail.com>, Magic Voice <ms...@hotmail.com>
>wrote:
>>Carrie Dahlby wrote:
>>>Hmmmm....gee...I *wonder* who went to Joel's Gizmonic Antsite recently?!?
>>
>>Me! Me! I did! Um...sorry. Got overly excited for a second there. I'm
>>all better now (I think...).
>
>Phew!!! Ya got me awfully excited for a second there!!!!! :)
Just engage in some pleasane, unemotional conversation - it'll pass.
>p.s. JOEL IS HOT!!!!
Well, for pity's sake, hand the man some iced tea!
Bill L.
Taking the Nestea Plunge
PS: Joel best if used by date on label
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
bi...@Traveller.COM http://www.Traveller.COM/~bill
Best if Used by Date on Label
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
"Because these are Channel-Lock Joels. And my daddy uses them on his
race car too."
-sw- [Joel lasts longer than you will]
--
Chad Gould aka Soundwave |-X5/D50/DX27S/Juno106/TX16W/BE5-|
internet: cgo...@gate.net |-M1000/Dr550mkII/SE70/MS1402VLZ-|
http://www.webcom.com/cgould/ |Make Happy the Harmonica Happy!!|
"It's not an easy thing to meet your maker" - Blade Runner
Jeffrey Johnson
On Thu, 21 Nov 1996, Noah Singman wrote:
> Now, I wouldn't mind it so much if they had juror aptitude tests (the
> J.A.T.?), and you had preference for interesting cases based on your
> score. And the pay was proportional to your score.
>
> Nerds rule!!
Noah, do you believe that I might _pay_ to take that test, rather than
submit to normal jury duty...not that I didn't just check the 'full time
student nyah nyah nyah' box last time. But seriously, I'd rather be on a
jury in a case involving alleged illicit manufacture of nuclear weapons
than a case where the prosecution needs to spend two days catching the
jury up on DNA methods...
>
> Noah
> MST#59539
> Well, the rest of you all got dates . . .
Hey! Don't rub it in.
JSJ 'At least you're married' 1TG
----------------------------------------------------------------
(pulling the string) "A cow says, 'Moo!' "
(pulling the string) "Amy Ashton says, 'Great. It's just going
to be me and the castrati unless y'all learn the finer points of
laundry.' "
----------------------------------------------------------------