iso monologues: "two minutes", victoria woods?

[Mary Yee]

I have been unable to find two comic monologues:

1. "Two Minutes", in which an auditioner goes into angst about being
given only two minutes in which to perform his/her monologue. Don't
know the author.

2. Name escapes me, but it is about a director who is giving notes
after a rehearsal of Hamlet. I believe the author is Victoria Wood(s).

Any information you can give me would be appreciated. As I don't have
much access to these newsgroups, a private reply is preferred:
m....@vocalist.org .

Thanks in advance.

[Carol]

> 2. Name escapes me, but it is about a director who is giving notes
> after a rehearsal of Hamlet. I believe the author is Victoria Wood(s).

It's in the Comic Relief Revue Book (from 1989). I have found my copy and
the piece you mention is called Giving Notes. I could probably copy and send
it on to you (but wait until the weekend as I don't have much time at the
moment). Email me and let me know if you want it.

best wishes

Carol
(also sent to poster)
Have you donated some food today?
http://www.thehungersite.com/

[Robert Burbidge]

The second is by written by the incomparable Victoria Wood and is available
on a BBC cassette tape, (performed by Julie Walters.) Sorry can't remember
tape name.

[Stephen Farrow]

Robert Burbidge wrote:
>
> The second is by written by the incomparable Victoria Wood and is available
> on a BBC cassette tape, (performed by Julie Walters.) Sorry can't remember
> tape name.

It's also published in at least one of her books - "Up to You, Porky"
(Methuen) - which should be available via amazon.co.uk. It *may* also be
in 'Chunky' (a collected edition of 'Up to You, Porky', 'Barmy', and
'Mens Sana in Thingummy Doodah' with a bit of extra material added), but
I can't verify this because my copy is in England and I'm not.

It's very very funny indeed ("The Players' scene... did any of you feel
it stretched a bit too? I think we'll go back to the tumbling on the
entrance, rather than the extract from 'Barnum'. You see, we're running
at six hours twenty now, and if we're going to put those soliloquies
back in..."). The cassettes of her live act (available on BBC Audio) are
even better. And "The Ballad of Barry and Freda" might just be the
funniest song I've ever heard.

Yes, I'm a fan!

In any case, that particular monologue is worth seeking out - it's great
fun to perform (and it's not gender-specific, anyone can do it), and it
usually goes down quite well, particularly with audiences familiar with
really bad community theatre/amateur dramatics.

Stephen

> >
> > 2. Name escapes me, but it is about a director who is giving notes
> >after a rehearsal of Hamlet. I believe the author is Victoria Wood(s).
> >

--
Will men ever get pregnant? And if they do, will they opt for
shoulder-tie dungarees, or play safe with Peter Pan collar-type loose
smocks? Whatever they decide, there's bound to be a documentary about
it. And possibly a tea towel.
- Victoria Wood

[JRL]

> 2. Name escapes me, but it is about a director who is giving notes
> after a rehearsal of Hamlet. I believe the author is Victoria Wood(s).

'Tis called 'Giving Notes' by Victoria Wood (performed by Julie Walters)
and is included in the revue show: "The Shakespeare Revue", the book of
which is available to buy.

Available to order from Amazon.com, priced $16.95
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1854592599/qid%3D951243554/002-458697
7-2993819

It also contains lots of lovely Shakespeare jokes, sketches, songs, routines
etc.

JEREMY :o)