[VOY] Brian the Snorf's Quick Review: VOY Season 3
Brian the Snorf
------(lotsa spoilers below)------
Many amazing things have happened lately. It's been a full year, and I
haven't been shouted out of the reviews newsgroup yet! The death threats
that I receive daily have decreased by at least 10 percent. I actually
*brushed against* a girl a mere three weeks ago. And most surprising of
all, Voyager improved. Or maybe it's not surprise at all, considering it
just about hit rock bottom last season and would have to try extremely
hard to get any worse. Either way, Voyager has improved...no two ways
about it...despite having some extreme dry spells in the middle of the
season.
The main thing I noticed about this season of Voyager was the way
almost everything felt like Trek Lite (tm). I might have not noticed this
if DS9 had not been on a the next day each week, and I saw how much
_substance_ they attempt to put in most of their episodes, even the
mediocre ones. That's not to say that Voyager didn't manage to be
entertaining this season; much the opposite. But most episodes really
didn't give you much to think about afterward. Think of it this way: a
good, thoughtful DS9 episode is like a long, drawn out evening with tons
of foreplay and finally, incredible sex at the end. (Gee, I wonder what
that'd be like.) On the other hand, most Voyager eps are like a pleasant
quickie that you won't remember a week from then. Both can be good, I
suppose...but I guess I've always been a romantic at heart. But enough
fun with analogies....on with the reviews.
I'll just do pretty much the standard thing and give paragraph reviews
for each episode along with my rating. If you've been fortunate enough to
avoid reading my reviews in the past, you might not understand the rating
system, so refer down to the bottom of the article for an explanation.
Ready? Let's get busy.
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"Basics, Part II"
Written by Michael Piller.
Directed by Winrich Kolbe.
We guessed it. Almost everybody who speculated on how they were going
to escape the planet and get back Voyager were right. "Basics, Part II"
was an *extremely* predictable way to start out the season, but not
entirely disappointing. Hell, it was downright fun. The Doctor was
entertaining, Suder was cool as always, we finally get rid of the stupid
Kazon, and you gotta love that giant worm. The ironic thing was that this
was technically a second season episode, but it was a accurate indication
of the direction the show was heading: cartoonish action galore.
Rating: 8.0
"Flashback"
Written by Brannon Braga.
Directed by David Livingston.
I'm almost forced to like this one simply because of the fact that it
has Sulu, the Excelsior, and all that jazz in it, but writer Brannon Braga
has a knack for snatching defeat from the proverbial jaws of victory. In
this case, though we do learn stuff about Tuvok, the contrived virus plot
is one big cop-out, which makes the whole episode mean almost nothing.
Sulu and Rand are used here for nothing more than background noise, which
in retrospect was probably a good thing, considering their somewhat flat
performances. So, screw my instincts. And screw this episode.
Rating: 7.5
"The Chute"
Teleplay by Kenneth Biller. Story by Clayvon C. Harris.
Directed by Les Landau.
About friggin time. Dark, moody, and thought provoking, "The Chute"
exemplifies everything Voyager is *not* before arriving at it's pitiful
excuse for an ending. What's interesting about this episode is that it
bears a striking similarity to DS9's "The Ship", except that the Voyager
writers feel the need to include an outside reason for the character's
behavior and not just chalk it up to stress. That being said, I'll accept
that I may have been overzealous when I first saw this episode because it
was such a departure for Voyager, but I'll stick with my rating. IMHO,
the best and hardest-hitting show of the season, despite it's lame ending.
Rating: 9.4
"The Swarm"
Story by Michael Sussman.
Directed by Alexander Singer.
Since we were all tired of the Kazon and Vidians, the writers decided
to use this season to introduce us to a plethora of new aliens and races,
some of which were typical Trek material (which means their face was
squished up somehow) and a few that were totally off the map. The show
has gained (and way overused) CGI animation for special effects during
this season as well, and constructed these non-humanoid aliens with their
new toy. What I'm leading up to here is that the Swarm (tm) were the
first of these CGI aliens (the worm back in Basics II doesn't count). And
as shown by recent movies such as "The Lost World," good FX can't make up
for a bad story. This episode quickly introduced (and then quickly did
away with) the "trilobites from hell", who are a terribly malevolent
force that has one weakness: it is easily scared away by excessive
technobabble. Come to think of it, who isn't? The B-plot involving the
doctor's memory loss was far superior and should have been the only story.
Rating: 7.7
"False Profits"
Teleplay by Joe Menosky & Kenneth Biller. Story by George Brozak.
Directed by Cliff Bole.
I understand that the DS9 crew is under contractual obligation to do at
least a couple "Ferengi episodes" per season, but why Voyager? Despite
the show's sometimes mediocre stories and lack of consistent character
development, at least there isn't any Ferengi in the Delta Quadrant. Or
so I thought. This forgettable follow-up to TNG's equally forgettable 4th
season episode "The Price" goes from bad to worse as Janeway pulls a 360
from last episode, and goes from waving aside Starfleet regulations to
strictly adhering to them. The real gem of this episode, however, comes
in the final act, when the Voyager crew shows their true ineptitude. The
two Ferengi beat up a Starfleet security guard, break into the shuttlebay
where their ship is being stored, and escape through a wormhole back to
the Alpha Quadrant. I must have been in a real good mood when I gave this
one a...
Rating: 5.0
"Remember"
Teleplay by Lisa Klink. Story by Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky.
Directed by Rick Kolbe.
This episode never really left me with any real strong impression. I
understand what it was supposed to be, a tragic recreation of a past
quasi-holocaust. But this story just moved along like standard fare, and
something of this depth shouldn't feel so pedestrian. Maybe it was
because the rip-off from TNG's "Violations" was so obvious that I knew
half the story already. It's too bad; the potential was *there* for this
to be the best of the season. Well, at least it was better than the
sleazy previews, but that's faint praise.
Rating: 8.3
"Sacred Ground"
Teleplay by Lisa Klink. Story by Geo Cameron.
Directed by Robert Duncan McNeill.
Last season, it was "Tuvix"...this season, it's "Sacred Ground"-- two
episodes that attempt to make you think afterwards. (No, wait...they're
both second season episodes...or holdovers, at least.) The point is that
they each had their message pasted in big bold letters during the final
act so that we all GOT THE POINT. So we did. And it was mildly
interesting. Mildly, mind you...some scenes at the beginning weren't good
for anything but sleep therapy. After naptime ended, though, the episode
picked up somewhat and staged a lukewarm showdown between science and
faith. Though not terribly well done, I'm proud they tried, and I give
big E's for effort.
Rating: 8.1
"Future's End, Part I"
Written by Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky.
Directed by David Livingston.
After the horribly contrived first act of this episode is over, and
Braga has thrown the crew back into the past, "Future's End, Part I"
shaped up to be one the best of the season. The plot was entertaining,
the character work was great, the writing was snappy, and Sarah
Silverman's breasts jostled around quite a bit in that scene where she was
running. But I wish the writers wouldn't end on a note that has nothing
to do with the next installment...that handheld camera footage thing was
pretty much dropped in the next episode. Despite that, the first part of
Voyager's visit to 1996 turned out way better than I anticipated.
Rating: 9.0
"Future's End, Part II"
Written by Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky.
Directed by Cliff Bole.
And continued to turn out better than I thought it would as we rolled
on into Part II. Though the plot was thinner here, and some stuff was
thrown in for no particular reason (the militia plot, for example), this
still turned out pretty decent. But the ending irks me enough that I will
write (nearly) verbatim what I wrote a few months ago when this first
aired. I thought that the entire point of these episodes was that this
paradox was almost "fated" to happen, and that Voyager would be
destroyed. However, this is mentioned only once as the situation gets
down to the wire and Janeway launches the final torpedo which destroys the
time ship. (I had a bit of a problem with this sequence too; Janeway
manually launches the torpedo, Starling looks up and moans, and boom.
That's it? Bleh.) So how did the Voyager crew do anything that could be
considered "different" from what they would normally do? And why were
they destroyed before? *What* did they do different?
Rating: 8.5
"Warlord"
Written by Lisa Klink.
Directed by David Livingston.
Uh, no. While I *did* enjoy seeing Jennifer Lien prance around and
flaunt herself, the plot of this episode was so silly and repetitive that
I found myself alternatively laughing or shaking my head in disgust. How
was it silly? The idea of "gaining soul possession" of someone (pardon
the pun) through the fingers (a la DS9's "The Passenger," another bad
episode) is dumb enough...not to mention trite. But the plot holes and
extremely easy solutions which frequent "Warlord," especially the
laughable final act, only add insult to injury. How was it repetitive?
Kes/Tieran yells, attempts to seduce someone, and them complains about
headaches. And continues to do so throughout the entire episode. Silly +
repetitive usually equals a mediocre episode, and this was no exception.
Rating: 5.8
"The Q and the Gray"
Teleplay by Kenneth Biller. Story by Shawn Piller.
Directed by Cliff Bole.
After the above average "Death Wish," I was more than ready for another
visit from Q. I realize now that I shoulda been careful what I wished
for, considering the crap the Voyager writers managed to spew out the
second time around. Simply put, "The Q and the Gray" is the worst Q
episode ever. Why? Because Q has stopped being Q and is now just some
alien who might drop by. On the back of the paperback version of the
(brilliant) novel _Q-Squared_, Q is described as "sometimes dangerous,
sometimes merely obnoxious, Q has always been mysterious and seemingly
all-powerful." No longer. Q has been reduced to a cute annoyance, and
the Continuum (portrayed beautifully in "Death Wish") now a place where
mortals can enter and take control of. "The Q and the Gray" also brings
up questions which it never has the guts to answer. Why do the Q _need_
weapons if they're omnipotent? Why doesn't Janeway ask Q to send Voyager
back at the end of the episode, considering the two are now nothing more
than friends? And most importantly, why was this episode ever made?
Rating: 5.1
"Macrocosm"
Written by Brannon Braga.
Directed by Alexander Singer.
Voyager takes cartoonish-action to the extreme as this episode has
Janeway stripping down to the "bare essentials" to fight cheesy CGI
effects that buzz around like flies. Yet another in the long line of
copied plots and ideas, "Macrocosm" was sort of a mix between , "Aliens,"
"Ghostbusters," & TNG's "Genesis," along with a tedious flashback scene in
the middle (that only served to show the crew's ineptitude). Nothing in
the episode was particularly memorable-- most of it is no more than
Janeway (aka. Ripley) being stalked by sound effects and goo-wielding bugs
as she tromps around the empty ship in size 13 boots. On the other hand,
where else but Voyager could you kill a virus with a knife? The "bomb" at
the end with the high-tech 24th century *digital* readout was the final
insult; I thought I was watching "The Sentinel."
Rating: 5.3
"Fair Trade"
Teleplay by Andre Bormanis. Story by Ronald Wilkerson & Jean Louise Matthias.
Directed by Jesus Salvador Trevino.
Voyager moves from cheesy all-out action to cheesy after-school
special. Neelix realizes the error of his ways and decides to straighten
up and tell his parents (I'm sorry...I meant Janeway) the truth. Despite
the fact that the show is going over a valid point and furthering Neelix's
character in the process, the show comes across as exactly what it is:
predictable, pedestrian, and worst of all...boring. (Sure, "Macrocosm"
wasn't overly impressive, but it certainly kept my attention.) This
episode started with a whimper, and ended on much the same note. Sorry,
but no thanks.
Rating: 5.5
"Alter Ego"
Written by Joe Menosky.
Directed by Robert Picardo.
This episode didn't really have much of an impact on me, and I still
feel neutral about it. Thank goodness the silly "Fatal Attraction" bit
that the preview threw in our faces the week before only spanned about
eight minutes of the show. In fact, the whole episode was surprisingly
(and nicely) underplayed until the holodeck beach volleyball chicks
started attacking the crew. The ending with Tuvok and the "true Marayna"
is unusually thoughtful (for Voyager), and is a great way to cap off an
otherwise mundane outing.
Rating: 7.9
"Coda"
Written by Jeri Taylor.
Directed by Nancy Malone.
Though the previous episode was a bit too close to TNG's "Elementary,
Dear Data," it is original enough to be a separate piece of work. "Coda,"
on the other hand, is nothing more than previous Trek episodes pasted
together in a jumbled mess which entertains on only the most shallow of
levels. The first two acts of "Coda" are almost exactly like TNG's
wonderful "Cause and Effect." Then, the shuttlecraft crashes on a planet
full of dry ice ("Power Play") and soon, Janeway has an out-of-body
experience where she witnesses her own death ("Tapestry") and walks
through stuff ("The Next Phase"). The episode continues with bits of
"Remember Me," DS9's "Distant Voices," and VOY's own "Cold Fire," until it
stumbles to it's predictable (and downright stupid) ending. I'd recommend
you all watch "Coda" just so you've seen it; not that it's much of a story
(heck, the first two acts are completely unnecessary), but it's definitely
an experience worthy of the name: Voyager.
Rating: 7.6
"Blood Fever"
Written by Lisa Klink.
Directed by Andrew Robinson.
Fine, so the plot made no sense...but I was too busy laughing to mind.
The main thrust (pardon the expression) of the story is that Torres has
some melded horniness in her from a fellow Vulcan officer, and now *must*
have sex or die. So, of course, she gets trapped in a situation with the
guy the writers want to set her up with, Paris. And, of course, sex is
strictly forbidden on Trek, so we won't be seeing any of that. Violence
is acceptable, though, and if the Vulcan guy and Torres duke it out,
she'll be fine. You can guess what transpires. But this episode was
hilarious, and if you just sit back and enjoy it for what it is (a farce),
you'll enjoy it. If only that didn't apply to so many other episodes...
Rating: 8.6
"Unity"
Written by Kenneth Biller.
Directed by Robert Duncan McNeill.
Color me unimpressed. The return of the Borg, in the now second-most
hyped episode of the season, was somewhat underwhelming to Yours Truly. I
just wasn't too enthralled with what I considered boring scenes with the
mini-Collective, yet another shuttlecraft (and unknown ensign) loss,
Chakotay "sleeping around," etc. Little things also bugged me, such as
the statement that some of the people had been "assimilated at Wolf 359."
This is an example of an obvious logistical mistake that the writers
ignored just for the "hey, I recognize that name" factor. Cheap. I'll
admit the ending was good, but I was half-asleep by then. Look, everyone
else enjoyed it. So don't let me stop you; I just hafta stick by my guns
on this one.
Rating: 7.5
"The Darkling"
Teleplay by Joe Menosky. Story by Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky.
Directed by Alexander Singer.
The first in what has come to be known as Voyager's "Trilogy of
Terror," "The Darkling" is definitely one of the worst ways to spend an
hour. The two "plots" are both hopelessly silly pieces of tripe which are
sure to induce vomiting if viewed more than once. Medical purposes aside,
this episode has no redeeming value. The Doctor's "evil half" is nothing
more than an excuse for Picardo to hunch over and grunt. And the second
plot, involving Kes' potential departure from the ship (which will be
happening next season anyway), is handled with typical Trek smoothness,
which means it is fumbled miserably before a gleefully hard press on the
RESET button. If I haven't made myself clear yet, this is one to avoid.
Rating: 3.7
"Rise"
Teleplay by Brannon Braga. Story by Jimmy Diggs.
Directed by Robert Sheerer.
And so is this one. "Rise" is Voyager's attempt to jump on the NBC's
_Asteroid_ bandwagon (albeit, a _failed_ attempt). We the audience are
forced to endure more pseudo-aliens (bad actors with a few clumps of clay
stuck on their face), yet ANOTHER shuttle crash, and some unexpectedly
poor CGI effects (I'm not kidding, these were *really* bad). I probably
wouldn't have had that much of a problem with the last-second ending if
they hadn't broken the Trek laws of physics and beamed someone up through
the shields just to accomplish it. I think the "story" hidden underneath
all this drek is supposed to be a character piece about Tuvok and Neelix,
but it is so trite and uninteresting we don't even care.
Rating: 2.9
"Favorite Son"
Written by Lisa Klink.
Directed by Marvin Rush.
The final chapter in the "Trilogy of Terror" spares nothing in its
quest to be the worst episode in Trek history. Battling the infamous
"Threshold" for last place, "Favorite Son" can be looked at as Voyager's
tribute to TOS-- the crew arrives at a planet with a ninety percent female
population. Now you'd think that at least a small part of me (well, it's
not _that_ small) would enjoy this episode just for that, but I was
actually quite bored with the gals' constant touching and stroking. What
disgusts me more than the lack of any nudity in this episode, however, is
the way the writers tease us with the possibility of Harry being from
another race and then pull a 180 by utilizing more Fun With Science (tm)
(such as DNA being able to implant extremely specific knowledge into a
person...*sure*). I never really understood the reason that the female
aliens were trying to suck Harry dry, but I'm sure it was good. By the
end of the episode, I figure the writers were so tired they said "screw
it" and let Voyager beam Harry through the shields (that's twice in a row
now) just so they could end it. (At least they finally did, but why
insult us once again by pretending that this horrible excuse for a story
has anything to do with Homer's _Odyssey_?)
Rating: 2.5
"Before and After"
Written by Kenneth Biller.
Directed by Allan Kroeker.
Despite the fact that this episode contained one of the worst child
actors we've ever had to endure, Voyager finally comes through with a
better-than-average story and begins what appears to be a (mostly)
successful sprint to the end of the season. The "Kes traveling backwards
in time" is reminiscent of "All Good Things," but is original enough in
its own right. The real interesting part of the story is the quickly
addressed "Year in Hell," which shows what potential Voyager has. It
almost makes you forget that the ending of this episode is no more than
anticlimactic technobabble.
Rating: 8.4
"Real Life"
Teleplay by Jeri Taylor. Story by Harry Kloor.
Directed by Anson Williams.
Remarkably similar to "The Swarm" in plot and structure, "Real Life"
combines an interesting story concerning the Doctor with Yet Another Space
Anomaly Plot. (tm). I won't even talk about the whirlpool CGI crap,
because it was so tired and generic that I don't remember enough about
it. I do recall the story about the Doc's family, however, and though I
have mixed feelings about how it was handled...I already mentioned that I
give big E's for effort. An example of this is the way the writers
avoided cliches by not saving Doc's holodeck daughter at the last second.
But *then* they tripped themselves up with cliched "death" lines (such as
"It's getting darker..." and "Everything's blurry...") which effectively
drained the scene of any _genuine_ emotional impact it might have had.
Sure, that's horrible. But they tried!!! :)
Rating: 8.1
"Distant Origin"
Written by Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky.
Directed by David Livingston.
Despite more Fun With Science (tm) and a premise so implausible that a
toddler wouldn't buy it, "Distant Origin" still manages to be one the best
of the season. Forget the fact that the idea of dinosaurs constructing
spaceships and traveling to the Delta Quadrant is something worthy of
Saturday morning TV. This episode had some of the most thoughtful
character work done in quite a while on Voyager. Having the first third
of the episode from the dinos' perspective was a welcome change, and the
intelligent structure of the plot made this episode flow nicely. I was
especially happy that the ending didn't turn out all happy, and that
Chakotay's speech didn't work in the slightest. BTW, did anyone else
notice that David Livingston directed this episode like the movie "The
Rock"? Kinda cool...
Rating: 9.0
"Displaced"
Written by Lisa Klink.
Directed by Allan Kroeker.
And I really thought they had something going there. If you see the
first half of "Displaced," you'll know what I am talking about. The
suspense is taut, the story is interesting, and the whole thing is
realistically handled. I was enjoying this episode up until Chakotay was
"translocated" to the artificial colony. Then the entire thing lapsed
into idiocy. The second half of "Displaced" is just a badly done
adventure story with no heart, and no _brain_. The lack of any security
system on the alien colony ship is questionable, but the ease with which
the Voyager crew (well, two of them) take the ship over and turn it
against the aliens is just sloppy writing. So, just watch the first
part...and think up your own ending! Trust me, it's much more enjoyable
than watching the rest of the episode.
Rating: 7.3
"Worst Case Scenario"
Written by Kenneth Biller
Directed by Alexander Singer.
Last episode, it was ruined halfway through. This time, it takes until
the final third before good character work and an interesting story is set
aside in exchange for a standard ending. "Worst Case Scenario" begins
uniquely (the virtual mutiny) and contains some of the _best_ character
interaction to date on Voyager. I actually began to *like* this
crew...and their individual personalities! And even when the episode
slides into predictable mode and throws in Seska (in place of
Moriarty)...bits such as the one with the doctor's nitric acid treatment
keep this from being a snooze-fest. Janeway toasting "to happy endings"
and saying that she likes deus ex machina really irks me, however. Are
the writers mocking themselves? Or us?
Rating: 9.1
"Scorpion, Part I"
Written by Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky.
Directed by David Livingston.
This time around, they kept the episode good the _whole_ way through,
with a near-perfect combination of character and action scenes. Unlike
"Unity," the Borg were put to good use here...though it is clear to me
that they really lack the *scare* factor that they used to possess. I
remember a time when 15 Borg ships would have had me going "oh sh@t"...but
I sorta took it in stride here. (This could be due to the CGI effects, I
suppose; they just don't float my boat like models usually seem to.)
Besides that minor qualm, this episode worked on just about all levels,
and left me looking forward to the next season (unlike "Basics"). Of
course, they'll probably screw up the good thing they have going here, but
it doesn't hurt to hope...
Rating: 9.2
------
Finally...it's over!!! I can't believe you ate the whole thing!
Overall, an improvement for Voyager this season. But, while it was the
best of times, it was also the worst of times. The second season was just
mediocre in general, but this season gave us some really, *really*
horrible episodes. This new action/adventure/leave-your-brain-at-the-door
format Jeri Taylor and Co. are shoving down our throats has its advantages
and disadvantages, and we'll have to see whether or not they manage to
mellow out and find a balance next season. Until then, I have nothin' but
luv 4 ya! Peace...out.
-Brian the Snorf (http://www.teleport.com/~snorfle/treviews.html)
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The Snorf's rating system:
0.0-3.5 What was that all about? I'm embarrassed to be watching.
3.6-5.0 Yawn. Could have been much, much better.
5.1-6.5 A few good parts, but mostly a snoozer.
6.6-7.5 Watch it. You may like it. Or you may not.
7.6-8.5 Not too shabby.
8.6-9.3 Good episode. A keeper.
9.4-9.9 The best of the bunch. These are the ones you can tell your
friends that don't even like Star Trek to watch.
10.0!!! Never happened in my lifetime...but you never know!
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