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Books that should not be written, Authors that shouldn't try

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Keith Morrison

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May 8, 2001, 12:18:38 AM5/8/01
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I was idly channel surfing the other day and stopped on a music channel.
There was a young female artist doing a cover of an old song and I was
thinking that she did it well and that the song wasn't one that some of
the other female singers could pull off. I just couldn't picture them
being able to do it tolerably well. Wrong sort of voice and vocal range
for it.

That got me to thinking. The same has got to apply to books. I mean,
there must be some authors who, if they tried to write the type of SF
other authors did, would end up creating a godawful abomination of a
story. Even if the writer is, in their own niche, pretty good. I'm
thinking, for instance, that Doc Smith would have had a hard time in
trying to write a quiet little mood piece without blowing something up.

So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
author that you can think of?

For bonus points, any examples that actually have been done?

Lee DeRaud

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May 8, 2001, 9:59:35 AM5/8/01
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The movie 'Starman II', screenplay by C.J.Cherryh :-)

Either William Gibson writing "Lord of Light" or Roger Zelazny writing
"Neuromancer"...and yes, I *really* hated "Donnerjack", thanks for
asking.

>For bonus points, any examples that actually have been done?

'I Will Fear No Evil', RAH.

This is too easy. *Extra* bonus points: who *should* have written it?
Still too easy: Laurel K. Hamilton.

Lee

Lucy Kemnitzer

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May 8, 2001, 12:00:45 PM5/8/01
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On Tue, 8 May 2001 13:59:35 GMT, Lee DeRaud
<lee.d...@boeing.com> wrote:

>On Mon, 07 May 2001 22:18:38 -0600, Keith Morrison
><kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:
>
>>I was idly channel surfing the other day and stopped on a music channel.
>>There was a young female artist doing a cover of an old song and I was
>>thinking that she did it well and that the song wasn't one that some of
>>the other female singers could pull off. I just couldn't picture them
>>being able to do it tolerably well. Wrong sort of voice and vocal range
>>for it.
>>
>>That got me to thinking. The same has got to apply to books. I mean,
>>there must be some authors who, if they tried to write the type of SF
>>other authors did, would end up creating a godawful abomination of a
>>story. Even if the writer is, in their own niche, pretty good. I'm
>>thinking, for instance, that Doc Smith would have had a hard time in
>>trying to write a quiet little mood piece without blowing something up.
>>
>>So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
>>author that you can think of?
>
>The movie 'Starman II', screenplay by C.J.Cherryh :-)

Oh no, this would be wonderful! The kid -- remember he was
supposed to be a teacher and that, his daddy said so? -- he's
reclaimed by the Starman's people, and it turns out the kind of
teacher he's supposed to end up being is a professor of
xenopsychology in the Starman's world. But the transition is
horrible and scary, and involves nearly fatal misunderstandings
and, of course, one or two beatings and one chaotic confrontation,
possibly with weapons, after which the Starman's particular
faction is in a better position than it was before, but most of
the questions remain unanswered, and the Starman's kid is
reconciled to the fact that he can never go home again.

Lucy Kemnitzer

aRJay

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May 8, 2001, 6:31:22 AM5/8/01
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In article <3AF7739E...@polarnet.ca>, Keith Morrison
<kei...@polarnet.ca> writes

A sequel to Arthur C Clarke's _Against the Fall of Night_ by Gregory
Benford. I claim the bonus points for this one.

Hal Clement doing the big fantasy trilogy.

Isaac Asimov doing MilSF.
--
How does a rocket/jet engine work?
"It's not that hard.
Stuff goes in, stuff happens, stuff goes out faster than it came in."
- Ian Stirling
aRJay

Ross Presser

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May 8, 2001, 3:00:34 PM5/8/01
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Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:

> So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> author that you can think of?
>
> For bonus points, any examples that actually have been done?

Not SF, but P. J. Farmer once did a Tarzan story "as if William S.
Burroughs had written it", and proposed (but didn't attempt) writing
_The Naked Lunch_ as if Edgar Rice Burroughs had written *that*.

--
Ross Presser * ross_p...@imtek.com
"A free-range shoggoth is a happy shoggoth, and a happy shoggoth is
generally less inclined to eat all of you at once." - Tim Morgan

Lee DeRaud

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May 8, 2001, 6:00:31 PM5/8/01
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On Tue, 08 May 2001 16:00:45 GMT, rit...@cruzio.com (Lucy Kemnitzer)
wrote:

Chortle. The original 'Starman' was at heart a love story...I actually
kinda *like* the idea of people going to the sequel and having it turn
into a horror film :-)

Lee

Matthias Warkus

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May 8, 2001, 3:16:03 PM5/8/01
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It was the Tue, 8 May 2001 11:31:22 +0100...

...and aRJay <aR...@escore.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> >So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> >author that you can think of?

A sequel to Lem's "Invincible" by S.M. Stirling.

mawa
--
Area Man Can't Get No Satisfaction
Especially When That Man Is On The Radio

Film at 11

Pete McCutchen

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May 8, 2001, 8:00:16 PM5/8/01
to
On Mon, 07 May 2001 22:18:38 -0600, Keith Morrison
<kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:

>So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
>author that you can think of?
>
>For bonus points, any examples that actually have been done?

This may be too easy, but I'm thinking Phillip Jose Farmer's Oz book
qualifies, here.
--

Pete McCutchen

Jordan S. Bassior

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May 8, 2001, 8:55:11 PM5/8/01
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Matthias Warkus said:

>A sequel to Lem's "Invincible" by S.M. Stirling.

Why would that be bad? I liked that world, wouldn't mind to see some other
writers playing in it.
--
Sincerely Yours,
Jordan
--
"To urge the preparation of defence is not to assert the imminence of war. On
the contrary, if war were imminent, preparations for defense would be too
late." (Churchill, 1934)
--

Jordan S. Bassior

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May 8, 2001, 8:55:52 PM5/8/01
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Pete McCutchen said:

>This may be too easy, but I'm thinking Phillip Jose Farmer's Oz book
>qualifies, here.

Don't forget the way he (literally) mangled Doc Savage and Tarzan. The bridge
fight scene -- OUCH.

Adam Benedict Canning

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May 8, 2001, 9:19:00 PM5/8/01
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On Tue, 8 May 2001 19:16:03 +0000, mawa...@gnome.org (Matthias
Warkus) wrote:

>It was the Tue, 8 May 2001 11:31:22 +0100...
>...and aRJay <aR...@escore.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> >So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
>> >author that you can think of?
>
>A sequel to Lem's "Invincible" by S.M. Stirling.

A Culture novel by John Norman

Adam

Jordan S. Bassior

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May 9, 2001, 5:43:34 AM5/9/01
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Guy Gordon said:

>You mean like "A Wizard of Earthsea" by E.E. "Doc" Smith?

Now _that_ I would read!

(and before you ask, I loved the Ursula K. LeGuin novels).

Gareth Wilson

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May 9, 2001, 6:22:39 AM5/9/01
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Adam Benedict Canning wrote:

>
> >A sequel to Lem's "Invincible" by S.M. Stirling.
>
> A Culture novel by John Norman
>

A Miles Vorkosigan book by Robert Forward.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gareth Wilson
Christchurch
New Zealand
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Matthias Warkus

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May 9, 2001, 7:36:30 AM5/9/01
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It was the 09 May 2001 00:55:11 GMT...

...and Jordan S. Bassior <jsba...@aol.com> wrote:
> Matthias Warkus said:
>
> >A sequel to Lem's "Invincible" by S.M. Stirling.
>
> Why would that be bad?

I just can't imagine Stirling getting the subtleties. And one of the
points of "Invincible" is that a sequel is pretty much impossible
anyway since everything's so hopeless.

mawa
--
Favourites - share and enjoy: <URL: http://www.enlightenment.org>
<URL: http://www.userfriendly.org> <URL: http://www.gnome.org>
<URL: http://freshmeat.net> <URL: http://www.calvinandhobbes.com>
<URL: http://www.metager.de> <URL: http://www.happypenguin.org>

Alinet2

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May 9, 2001, 10:46:21 AM5/9/01
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>From: Keith Morrison kei...@polarnet.ca

>
>So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
>author that you can think of?
>
>For bonus points, any examples that actually have been done?
>

"Central Passage" by Laurence Schoonover.
"Children of Men" by P.D. James

__

Women and cats will do as they please, men and dogs should relax and get
used to it." Robert Heinlein.

Hound of Cullen

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May 9, 2001, 11:06:22 AM5/9/01
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Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote in
<3AF7739E...@polarnet.ca>:

> So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> author that you can think of?

The Philip K. Dick "Star Trek" novel.


> For bonus points, any examples that actually have been done?

Non-SF: "Poodle Springs." Robert B. Parker's sequel to Chandler's "The Big
Sleep." It probably seemed like a good idea, but Parker is too different
from Chandler,and it doesn't work.

Hound

Jordan S. Bassior

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May 9, 2001, 11:08:14 AM5/9/01
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Matthias Warkus said:

>I just can't imagine Stirling getting the subtleties. And one of the
>points of "Invincible" is that a sequel is pretty much impossible
>anyway since everything's so hopeless.

But the situation, as posited, in _Invincible_ wasn't hopeless -- for future
expeditions. Simply because one (supposedly) invincible ship was defeated by
the planet doesn't mean that a future attempt would have failed.

(I submit that this exposes a logical flaw in Lem's world view, if he thought
he was proving that the Universe would always defeat Man).

Randy Money

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May 9, 2001, 12:02:11 PM5/9/01
to
Keith Morrison wrote:
>
> [...] I mean,

> there must be some authors who, if they tried to write the type of SF
> other authors did, would end up creating a godawful abomination of a
> story. Even if the writer is, in their own niche, pretty good. I'm
> thinking, for instance, that Doc Smith would have had a hard time in
> trying to write a quiet little mood piece without blowing something up.
>
> So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> author that you can think of?

_The Female Man_ by John Norman

_Starship Troopers_ by Norman Spinrad

_Herovit's World_ by Robert Heinlein


Randy Money

William Hyde

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May 9, 2001, 12:05:38 PM5/9/01
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In article <3AF7739E...@polarnet.ca>,

Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> writes:
>
> So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> author that you can think of?

"More Than Human", by Jerry Pournelle

"Davy", by our own S. M. Stirling

"Orion Shall Rise", by Ray Bradbury.

"Ill Met in Lankhmar", by Piers Anthony

On reconsideration, the Bradbury might be interesting.


>
> For bonus points, any examples that actually have been done?

"The Ringworld Throne", by Larry Niven

"Greybeard", by P. D. James (this has already been noted,
but it needs more than one vote).

"*", by Gentry Lee

William Hyde
Department of Oceanography
Texas A&M University
hy...@rossby.tamu.edu

Dan Swartzendruber

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May 9, 2001, 1:02:37 PM5/9/01
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In article <9dbpsi$5dk$1...@news.tamu.edu>, hy...@rossby.tamu.edu says...

> In article <3AF7739E...@polarnet.ca>,
> Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> writes:
>
> "*", by Gentry Lee

hee hee.

Mark Atwood

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May 9, 2001, 1:15:57 PM5/9/01
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Guy Gordon <gor...@NOSPAMwhite-crane.com> writes:
> You mean like "A Wizard of Earthsea" by E.E. "Doc" Smith?

I think I would like that better than the original...

--
Mark Atwood | I'm wearing black only until I find something darker.
m...@pobox.com | http://www.pobox.com/~mra

Sea Wasp

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May 9, 2001, 1:27:06 PM5/9/01
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OH yeah. And some of his other "I'm writing about other people's
characters but putting them through John Norman's Characterization
Machine" books.

Another Oz one: _Wicked_. Eeeeeeew.

--
Sea Wasp http://www.wizvax.net/seawasp/index.html
/^\
;;; _Morgantown: The Jason Wood Chronicles_, at
http://www.hyperbooks.com/catalog/20040.html

Sea Wasp

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May 9, 2001, 1:28:12 PM5/9/01
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Guy Gordon wrote:
>
> You mean like "A Wizard of Earthsea" by E.E. "Doc" Smith?

Guy, the idea was things that SHOULDN'T be written, not books that
you'd sell your mother to BUY.

I'd buy that in a splintered second.

And yes, I love the original Earthsea trilogy. Re-read it fairly
often. But Doc Smith's Earthsea? WOW.

Sea Wasp

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May 9, 2001, 1:32:12 PM5/9/01
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"The Stars My Destination" by Jack Chalker

"A Fire Upon the Deep" by Piers Anthony

"Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
chilling fascination to it)

atholbrose

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May 9, 2001, 1:56:54 PM5/9/01
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On Wed, 09 May 2001 13:27:06 -0400, Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> wrote:
> Another Oz one: _Wicked_. Eeeeeeew.

I loved "Wicked" for the first two-thirds. I still haven't decided if the
way things ended up -- well, I mean, the way how things ended up was
presented -- killed the enjoyment I had in that first part.

Mark Atwood

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May 9, 2001, 2:13:46 PM5/9/01
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Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> writes:
>
> Another Oz one: _Wicked_. Eeeeeeew.

I *like* that one. She's so aspy it's like it's out of a textbook.

Jim Mann

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May 9, 2001, 2:23:10 PM5/9/01
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Sea Wasp wrote in message <3AF97D...@wizvax.net>...

>
> Another Oz one: _Wicked_. Eeeeeeew.
>


I disagree with this one. Wicked was very well done.

---
Jim Mann


Jerry Brown

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May 9, 2001, 3:22:35 PM5/9/01
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On 9 May 2001 16:05:38 GMT, hy...@rossby.tamu.edu (William Hyde) wrote:

> "*", by Gentry Lee

Was this meant to be "*Rama*" or has Lee also committed similar
atrocities elsewhere in SF?


Jerry Brown
--
A cat may look at a king
(but probably won't bother)

Sea Wasp

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May 9, 2001, 3:29:20 PM5/9/01
to

The whole thing bothered me. The Oz depicted therein bore the same
resemblance to the REAL Oz that I would to my original self after
being in a fiery car-crash that damaged my brain as well as body: the
general outline might have some similarity to the original, but the
rest would be a hideous mockery of the original.

Sea Wasp

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May 9, 2001, 3:31:40 PM5/9/01
to

*Shrug* I feel the same way about it that I do about Barnstormer.
Both are supposedly Oz stories, even if told from different
perspectives/points of view, but are essentially impossible to
reconcile with the originals, and leave a distinctly bad taste in my
mouth.

Michael S. Schiffer

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May 9, 2001, 3:18:00 PM5/9/01
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Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> wrote in <3AF97E...@wizvax.net>:

>Guy Gordon wrote:

>> You mean like "A Wizard of Earthsea" by E.E. "Doc" Smith?

> Guy, the idea was things that SHOULDN'T be written, not books
> that
>you'd sell your mother to BUY.

> I'd buy that in a splintered second.

> And yes, I love the original Earthsea trilogy. Re-read it
> fairly
>often. But Doc Smith's Earthsea? WOW.

I'd read it too. But what a contrast-- Earthsea is quiet and slow (for
all the major events that take place in the stories), and events occur
on a human scale. A Smithian Earthsea would have ships blasting
through the howling tempests of the hellishly boiling seas. Magicians'
duels would involve coruscating bursts of incandescent radiance
punctuated by knives of pure force reaching out towards the foe...

Some similarities remain-- Roke probably still only accepts male
candidates (though it's unlikely to display the same level of explicit
misogyny, and Ged assures Tenar that Earthsea as a whole is based on
equality of the sexes). The role of the dragons is likely different.
Etc.

In any event, it seems unlikely that Ged would choose to serve any
wambly Equilibrium. He frees Atuan from its claustrophobic theocracy
(utilizing directed hurricanes-- or Rings of Erreth-Akbe, as they're
called for some reason-- harnessed using techniques learned while
infiltrating the Tombs in the guise of a prisoner). He defeats Cob by
a combination of intentional infiltration and final direct magical
combat (by now, the combatants are hurling tsunamis and earthquakes and
continent-sized acid hurricanes at one another, and concentrating the
full radiance of the noonday sun across the world upon the point at
which the other is standing). He ultimately oversees the expansion of
Earthsea's civilization into a previously undiscovered second
archipelago beyond the waters of the raft people.

(As far as Tehanu goes, one imagines that anyone who attempts to rape
or scar a third-level being in Smith's universe is going to be dead
before rather than after, and that the conflict Ged and Tenar find
themselves in will work itself out on a somewhat larger scale. But I
don't remember the plot of _Tehanu_ well enough to go further than
that.)

Mike

--
Michael S. Schiffer, LHN, FCS If reading in an archive, please do
ms...@mediaone.net not click on words highlighted as links
msch...@condor.depaul.edu by Deja or other archives. They violate
the author's copyright and his wishes.

Gareth Wilson

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May 9, 2001, 4:01:58 PM5/9/01
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Sea Wasp wrote:

> "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
> chilling fascination to it)
>

I would buy that in a heartbeat.

William Hyde

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May 9, 2001, 4:12:53 PM5/9/01
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In article <jt5jft04onsh9d4fd...@4ax.com>,

Jerry Brown <je...@jwbrown.co.uk.RemoveThisBitToReply> writes:
> On 9 May 2001 16:05:38 GMT, hy...@rossby.tamu.edu (William Hyde) wrote:
>
>> "*", by Gentry Lee
>
> Was this meant to be "*Rama*" or has Lee also committed similar
> atrocities elsewhere in SF?

Well, there is "Cradle".

I was using "*" as a wildcard to stand for any title
by Dr Lee.

Pete McCutchen

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May 9, 2001, 5:01:59 PM5/9/01
to
On 09 May 2001 00:55:52 GMT, jsba...@aol.com (Jordan S. Bassior)
wrote:

>Pete McCutchen said:
>
>>This may be too easy, but I'm thinking Phillip Jose Farmer's Oz book
>>qualifies, here.
>
>Don't forget the way he (literally) mangled Doc Savage and Tarzan. The bridge
>fight scene -- OUCH.

Thanks for the reminder, Jordo. I'd been trying to forget that one.
Now it'll take me another twenty years to suppress that particular
memory.
--

Pete McCutchen

Taki Kogoma

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May 9, 2001, 5:39:07 PM5/9/01
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On Thu, 10 May 2001 08:01:58 +1200, did Gareth Wilson
<gr...@ext.canterbury.ac.nz>, to rec.arts.sf.written decree...

>Sea Wasp wrote:
>> "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
>> chilling fascination to it)
>
>I would buy that in a heartbeat.

This is the version where *all* of the Noldor go to Middle Earth
instead of the faint-hearted staying in Aman with Finarfin, with the
resulting alteration in the balance of power wrt the Sindar and Morgoth
being considerably less successful in his attempts at conquest?

--
Capt. Gym Z. Quirk | "I'll get a life when someone
(Known to some as Taki Kogoma) | demonstrates that it would be
quirk @ swcp.com | superior to what I have now."
Veteran of the '91 sf-lovers re-org. | -- Gym Quirk

Matthias Warkus

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May 9, 2001, 2:44:44 PM5/9/01
to
It was the Wed, 09 May 2001 13:32:12 -0400...

...and Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> wrote:
> "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
> chilling fascination to it)

Argh. Yes.

mawa
--
mirrorite, n.:
Highly reflective material manufactured at extremely high cost
under zero-gravity conditions and then polished for years, like
telescope reflectors. Used solely in floor cleaner commercials.

Brian K. White

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May 9, 2001, 8:28:12 PM5/9/01
to

"Jordan S. Bassior" <jsba...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010509110814...@ng-fy1.aol.com...

> Matthias Warkus said:
>
> >I just can't imagine Stirling getting the subtleties. And one of the
> >points of "Invincible" is that a sequel is pretty much impossible
> >anyway since everything's so hopeless.
>
> But the situation, as posited, in _Invincible_ wasn't hopeless -- for
future
> expeditions. Simply because one (supposedly) invincible ship was
defeated by
> the planet doesn't mean that a future attempt would have failed.
>
> (I submit that this exposes a logical flaw in Lem's world view, if he
thought
> he was proving that the Universe would always defeat Man).

GPL4 - Bill Gates
hehe no seriously (as it were)
Bill the Galactic Hero #73 - Orson Scott Card & Jeffry Carver

--
Brian K. White -- br...@aljex.com -- http://www.aljex.com/bkw/
+++++[>+++[>+++++>+++++++<<-]<-]>>+.>.+++++.+++++++.-.[>+<---]>++.
filePro BBx Linux SCO Prosper/FACTS AutoCAD #callahans Satriani

Ahasuerus

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May 9, 2001, 8:38:20 PM5/9/01
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Matthias Warkus <mawa...@gnome.org> wrote:

> ...and aRJay <aR...@escore.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> >So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
>> >author that you can think of?
>
> A sequel to Lem's "Invincible" by S.M. Stirling.

As in "You're gonna need a bigger boat"? :)

--
Ahasuerus

Brenda W. Clough

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May 9, 2001, 11:05:04 PM5/9/01
to

Matthias Warkus wrote:

> It was the Wed, 09 May 2001 13:32:12 -0400...
> ...and Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> wrote:
> > "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
> > chilling fascination to it)
>
> Argh. Yes.

You realize that in that version, the Ring really would symbolize the atom bomb.

Brenda

--
What do you do with a secret?
Whisper it in a desert at high noon.
Lock it up and bury the key.
Tell the nation on prime-time TV.
Choose a door . . .

Doors of Death and Life
by Brenda W. Clough
http://www.sff.net/people/Brenda
Tor Books
ISBN 0-312-87064-7


Jordan S. Bassior

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May 9, 2001, 11:58:06 PM5/9/01
to
Brenda W. Clough said:

>You realize that in that version, the Ring really would symbolize the atom
>bomb.

Yeah. And the Good Guy Ring would give his minions super-biological powers. But
Feanor, long ago, crafted a Good Guy Ring that lets the Elves make
super-magical-cyborgs.

Unfortunately, the Bad Guys would win. But the Good Guys would flee to the land
of the Valar, and continue the fight from there ... ;-)

kesi...@math.ttu.edu

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May 10, 2001, 12:25:31 AM5/10/01
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Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:

: So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
: author that you can think of?

_A_Deepness_in_the_Sky_, by Robert Heinlein. The later RAH.

_The_Door_Into_Fire_ by Jon Norman.

_Foundation_, by C.J.Cherryh.

_Cyteen_, by Neal Stephenson.

_Cryptonomicon_, by Piers Anthony.

The Lensman books, by L. Neil Smith.

==Jake ``by me'' K.

Mark Jones

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May 10, 2001, 1:43:16 AM5/10/01
to
And yea, verily, on Wed, 09 May 2001 13:32:12 -0400, Sea Wasp
<sea...@wizvax.net> spake thusly:

>"The Stars My Destination" by Jack Chalker
>
> "A Fire Upon the Deep" by Piers Anthony
>
> "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
>chilling fascination to it)

Action Comics #1 by S. M. Stirling. Little Kal-El rockets to earth
from a doomed planet, only to be found and raised as...Clark Von
Strakenberg. And little Clark goes on to show the world what a
_real_ Superman with the Will to Power can achieve!

Mark Jones

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May 10, 2001, 1:45:31 AM5/10/01
to
And yea, verily, on Thu, 10 May 2001 08:01:58 +1200, Gareth Wilson
<gr...@ext.canterbury.ac.nz> spake thusly:

>Sea Wasp wrote:
>
>> "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
>> chilling fascination to it)
>>
>
>I would buy that in a heartbeat.

I especially look forward to the scene where Frodo, at the edge of
Mt. Doom, puts the ring on and seizes power, throwing Sauron down
and taking his rightful place at Overlord.

Mark Jones

unread,
May 10, 2001, 1:48:58 AM5/10/01
to
And yea, verily, on 10 May 2001 04:25:31 GMT, kesi...@math.ttu.edu
spake thusly:

Oooh! Oooh! Put me on the waiting list for THAT one!

Mark Atwood

unread,
May 10, 2001, 1:53:41 AM5/10/01
to
sin...@pacifier.com (Mark Jones) writes:
>
> Action Comics #1 by S. M. Stirling. Little Kal-El rockets to earth
> from a doomed planet, only to be found and raised as...Clark Von
> Strakenberg. And little Clark goes on to show the world what a
> _real_ Superman with the Will to Power can achieve!

It's been done. A couple of times. DC's "Elseworlds".

SkyeFire

unread,
May 10, 2001, 3:36:10 AM5/10/01
to
In article <ht1ifts99fajs27oa...@4ax.com>, Pete McCutchen
<p.mcc...@worldnet.att.net> writes:

>
>>Don't forget the way he (literally) mangled Doc Savage and Tarzan. The
>bridge
>>fight scene -- OUCH.
>
>Thanks for the reminder, Jordo. I'd been trying to forget that one.
>Now it'll take me another twenty years to suppress that particular
>memory.

Doc Savage vs Tarzan? Sorry, but *this* I have to read (yes, I have a
masochistic streak). Where would I find it?

SkyeFire

unread,
May 10, 2001, 3:36:09 AM5/10/01
to

>
>_A_Deepness_in_the_Sky_, by Robert Heinlein. The later RAH.

Hey, now! That wouldn't be so -- oh. *Later* RAH. Umm...okay, I can see
your point...

>_The_Door_Into_Fire_ by Jon Norman.

AAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!!

>_Foundation_, by C.J.Cherryh.

You know that sound when the Difference Engine inside your head suddenly
strips gears? Yeah, that one...

>_Cyteen_, by Neal Stephenson.

I dunno, it could be funny...

>_Cryptonomicon_, by Piers Anthony.

There goes the spare set of gears...

>The Lensman books, by L. Neil Smith.

Never read enough LNS to make a call on this one. But I suspect it would
turn out to be some kind of political tract under a thin layer of prose...


Jens Kilian

unread,
May 10, 2001, 6:53:53 AM5/10/01
to
jsba...@aol.com (Jordan S. Bassior) writes:
> But the situation, as posited, in _Invincible_ wasn't hopeless -- for future
> expeditions. Simply because one (supposedly) invincible ship was defeated by
> the planet doesn't mean that a future attempt would have failed.


SPOILERS for _The Invincible_ below.


"The Invincible" itself wasn't defeated. Its predecessor was, and the story
revolves around the investigation of its fate.

The failure of the humans to communicate with the entity who destroyed the
precursor ship (and killed an investigating party from _TI_) does not, IMHO,
count as a defeat. It is not even a case of incompatible (human and alien)
intelligences[1] - the necrosphere is not intelligent, and *every* attempt at
communication will fail. (I.e., future expeditions would also be "defeated".)

There is still the opportunity for investigation, of course. Perhaps the
planet and its non-biologically evolved inhabitants will become a study object,
like the Solaris ocean.

Bye,

Jens.

[1] As in _Fiasco_ - and that *was* a defeat.
--
mailto:j...@acm.org phone:+49-7031-464-7698 (TELNET 778-7698)
http://www.bawue.de/~jjk/ fax:+49-7031-464-7351
PGP: 06 04 1C 35 7B DC 1F 26 As the air to a bird, or the sea to a fish,
0x555DA8B5 BB A2 F0 66 77 75 E1 08 so is contempt to the contemptible. [Blake]

Jens Kilian

unread,
May 10, 2001, 7:11:56 AM5/10/01
to
Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> writes:
> "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
> chilling fascination to it)

Interesting idea. How would the history of Arda look in the Drakaverse
(where Melkor has all the luck and his opponents are stupid)?

- The First Age.

Arda created, Valar descend into it, Melkor makes war on the others, but
*escapes* their wrath instead of being chained. He hides away and breeds
evil all through the age. He discovers the Elves, Dwarves and Men
immediately after their respective awakenings and corrupts almost all of
them. Orcs and their Dwarvish and Mannish analogs breed like flies.
Before Orome ever has a chance to discover the Elves, the few uncorrupted
ones flee west, pursued by the armies of Evil. Ulmo manages to rescue a few
and brings them to Valinor. Repeat for the Dwarves and Men. The Valar
begin preparations for war, but are far behind Morgoth.

The War of Wrath ends in stalemate, with Morgoth holding *all*
Middle-Earth. The Valar create Numenor as a buffer (and to get rid of the
Men, which they cannot keep in Valinor). End of Age.

- The Second Age.

Everybody arms like crazy. The Numenoreans assault Middle-Earth with
a humongous fleet, supported by Elves and Valar. Repeat War of Wrath,
Morgoth suffers heavy losses but pushes the allies out again. Sauron
is sent as governor to lord it over the defeated Numenoreans. Faced with
a choice of conversion or being burnt as an offering to Morgoth, most
of them declare for Evil.

After some more time, Sauron's fleet assaults Valinor, but is defeated.
Sauron expelled into outer darkness, Numenor sinks. The few remaining
faithful flee *west*. End of Age.

- The Third Age.

Morgoth's chief henchhuman is transported to the Tolkienverse by magical
accident, and lands in Angmar at the right time to become the Witch King.
The Drakaverse Valar send 5 carefully chosen Maiar after him...

All interspersed with long, careful descriptions of weapons technology,
torture, nonconsensual S&M etc.


On the whole, I prefer the original version ;-)

Jens.

Jens Kilian

unread,
May 10, 2001, 7:16:04 AM5/10/01
to
kesi...@math.ttu.edu writes:
> _Foundation_, by C.J.Cherryh.

Oooh.

*Any* _Stainless Steel Rat_, by C.J.Cherryh.

Matthias Warkus

unread,
May 10, 2001, 6:55:45 AM5/10/01
to
It was the Thu, 10 May 2001 00:38:20 GMT...

Yup, exactly ;)

mawa
--
Not everything in the world exists because of or for the benefit of
economics.
-- Arthur

Matthias Warkus

unread,
May 10, 2001, 7:50:58 AM5/10/01
to
It was the Thu, 10 May 2001 08:01:58 +1200...

...and Gareth Wilson <gr...@ext.canterbury.ac.nz> wrote:
> > "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a certain
> > chilling fascination to it)
>
> I would buy that in a heartbeat.

It'd surely feature some neat multiple-launch rocket systems.

mawa
--
The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
-- Mark Twain

Matt Ruff

unread,
May 10, 2001, 11:15:44 AM5/10/01
to
Keith Morrison wrote:
>
> So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination
> of story/ author that you can think of?

Neat question, but the problem is that a lot of the ideas that are
popping into my head are books that probably would be very interesting
to at least skim through. Thomas Pynchon's "Starship Troopers," for
example, or Isaac Asimov doing J.G. Ballard's "Crash."

> For bonus points, any examples that actually have been done?

Heinlein's "Time Enough For Love" and "Number of the Beast" could both
have been much better books with a different author. Heinlein's just too
conservative -- not in a political sense, but in the sense of never
wanting to let his characters get in too far over their heads.

"Time" I would give to somebody who wasn't afraid to let Lazarus Long
express regrets or talk about mistakes he's made along the way, instead
of focusing only on the times he remembered to pack extra socks. And I'd
spin off the last fifty pages into a novel in its own right, to be
written by someone who's comfortable portraying sex with mom as
something people actually have mixed feelings about, and not just
because they think gramps is an uptight square.

"Number of the Beast" would make a good Vernor Vinge novel, I think.
He'd find a way to strand his protagonists in a succession of
*dangerous* alternate universes instead of sending them to Oz in search
of an ob-gyn clinc.

-- M. Ruff

Jordan S. Bassior

unread,
May 10, 2001, 12:49:17 PM5/10/01
to
Matthias Warkus said:

>It was the Thu, 10 May 2001 08:01:58 +1200...
>...and Gareth Wilson <gr...@ext.canterbury.ac.nz> wrote:
>> > "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a
>certain
>> > chilling fascination to it)
>>
>> I would buy that in a heartbeat.
>
>It'd surely feature some neat multiple-launch rocket systems.

Who is writing this version of _The Lord of the Rings_?

The Ringbearer is defeated and Sauron gets the Ring. The West seems lost, until
a US Civil War regiment accidentally falls through a dimensional portal and
winds up at Minas TIrith ...

Jordan S. Bassior

unread,
May 10, 2001, 1:00:20 PM5/10/01
to
SkyeFire said:

> Doc Savage vs Tarzan? Sorry, but *this* I have to read (yes, I have a
>masochistic streak). Where would I find it?

It's part of a trilogy which I think was put together in one book as _A Feast
Unknown_.

James C. Ellis

unread,
May 10, 2001, 1:04:10 PM5/10/01
to
Jordan S. Bassior wrote:
>
> Who is writing this version of _The Lord of the Rings_?
>
> The Ringbearer is defeated and Sauron gets the Ring. The West seems
> lost, until a US Civil War regiment accidentally falls through a
> dimensional portal and winds up at Minas TIrith ...

Isn't that William Forstchen's version?

Biff

--
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"Me? Lady, I'm your worst nightmare - a pumpkin with a gun.
[...] Euminides this! " - Mervyn, the Sandman #66
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Eloise Beltz-Decker

unread,
May 10, 2001, 2:10:02 PM5/10/01
to
On Wed, 9 May 2001, atholbrose wrote:

> On Wed, 09 May 2001 13:27:06 -0400, Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> wrote:
> > Another Oz one: _Wicked_. Eeeeeeew.
>
> I loved "Wicked" for the first two-thirds. I still haven't decided if the
> way things ended up -- well, I mean, the way how things ended up was
> presented -- killed the enjoyment I had in that first part.

I liked "Wicked" a lot as well, once I got over the hangup of
trying to view it as an Oz book :-> As a novel, it's actually kind of
interesting and literary.

--
Eloise Beltz-Decker elo...@ripco.com
http://pages.ripco.com/~eloise/
"He's having a cheezure! Quick, get the de-fromagulator!"
- John Mason, in a fit of silliness in the airport
on the way home from FilKONtario 11.

David Given

unread,
May 10, 2001, 9:16:24 AM5/10/01
to
[...]

> _Foundation_, by C.J.Cherryh.
>
> _Cyteen_, by Neal Stephenson.

Actually, both authors could probably pull these off. They'd be different
books; but they're well up to handling the overall themes involved.

Admittedly, in Cherryh's _Foundation_, I expect Hari Seldon would actually
have very little idea what was going on; and Stephenson's _Cyteen_ would
keep having asides on what the well-to-do Union CIT has for breakfast.

> _Cryptonomicon_, by Piers Anthony.

Excuse me. My brain has just exploded.

Let's see...

_The Story of Dr. Doolittle_, by Iain no-M Banks.

_Use of Weapons_, by John W. Campbell.

_The Gate to Women's Country_ by Sharon Green.

--
+- David Given --------McQ-+
| Work: d...@tao-group.com | "Half the lies our opponents tell about us are
| Play: d...@cowlark.com | untrue." --- Sir Boyle Roche
+- http://www.cowlark.com -+

Jordan S. Bassior

unread,
May 10, 2001, 3:25:17 PM5/10/01
to
James C. Ellis said:

>Jordan S. Bassior wrote:
>>
>> Who is writing this version of _The Lord of the Rings_?
>>
>> The Ringbearer is defeated and Sauron gets the Ring. The West seems
>> lost, until a US Civil War regiment accidentally falls through a
>> dimensional portal and winds up at Minas TIrith ...
>
> Isn't that William Forstchen's version?

Yep :)

Michael J. Lowrey

unread,
May 10, 2001, 3:36:38 PM5/10/01
to
_The Left Hand of Darkness_, by S. M. Stirling & John
Norman

_The Turner Diaries_, by Nalo Hopkinson

_40,000 in Gehenna_, by Mervyn Peake

_The Iron Heel_, by Ayn Rand

--
Michael J. "Orange Mike" Lowrey
Sunrise Book Reviews

Matthew Austern

unread,
May 10, 2001, 4:01:12 PM5/10/01
to
d...@pearl.tao.co.uk (David Given) writes:

> In article <9dd57...@enews3.newsguy.com>,
> kesi...@math.ttu.edu writes:
> [...]
> > _Foundation_, by C.J.Cherryh.
> >
> > _Cyteen_, by Neal Stephenson.
>
> Actually, both authors could probably pull these off. They'd be different
> books; but they're well up to handling the overall themes involved.
>
> Admittedly, in Cherryh's _Foundation_, I expect Hari Seldon would actually
> have very little idea what was going on; and Stephenson's _Cyteen_ would
> keep having asides on what the well-to-do Union CIT has for breakfast.

I don't think that's quite right. In Cherryh's _Foundation_ it would
be unclear whether or not Seldon had any idea what was going on.
Seldon would tell some people he had a plan and tell other people
something different, and the reader would spend most of the book
trying to figure out what, if anything, Seldon was really planning.

I'd rush out to buy it the moment I heard about it.

Erik Trulsson

unread,
May 10, 2001, 4:58:02 PM5/10/01
to
Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:

> So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> author that you can think of?


_The Colour of Magic_ by Stephen Donaldson

_Tigana_ by Piers Anthony

_Lord of Light_ by Isaac Asimov

_Neuromancer_ by E.E. "Doc" Smith
(or a Lensman book by William Gibson)


--
<Insert your favourite quote here.>
Erik Trulsson
ertr...@student.uu.se

Matthias Warkus

unread,
May 10, 2001, 5:21:42 PM5/10/01
to
It was the Thu, 10 May 2001 14:16:24 +0100...

...and David Given <d...@pearl.tao.co.uk> wrote:
> _Use of Weapons_, by John W. Campbell.

ROTFL!

_Ringworld_, by J.R.R. Tolkien
_Hospital Station_ etc. by David Weber

mawa
--
-> Honestly you guys need to get laid more often, and preferably by a
-> female that you don't have to inflate.
Well, I think this is true for everyone.
-- David Steuber on comp.os.linux.advocacy

Rick

unread,
May 10, 2001, 7:05:41 PM5/10/01
to
"Erik Trulsson" <ertr...@student.uu.se> wrote in message
news:3afb0...@nowhere.special...

> _Neuromancer_ by E.E. "Doc" Smith
> (or a Lensman book by William Gibson)

Actually the latter sounds pretty interesting...trying to imagine a dark,
brooding Lensman novel with a self-loathing antihero protagonist...


Lee DeRaud

unread,
May 10, 2001, 6:58:38 PM5/10/01
to
On Thu, 10 May 2001 20:58:02 GMT, Erik Trulsson
<ertr...@student.uu.se> wrote:

>Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:
>
>> So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
>> author that you can think of?
>
>_The Colour of Magic_ by Stephen Donaldson

The only way I'd read that one would be if it featured
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Covenant getting pounded into dust by a troll.

Lee

Mike Thoma

unread,
May 10, 2001, 7:56:45 PM5/10/01
to
Steve Taylor wrote:

>
> Jens Kilian wrote:
>
> > All interspersed with long, careful descriptions of weapons technology,
> > torture, nonconsensual S&M etc.
>
> Don't forget the Lesbian Babes and the interminable interior monologues
> full of backstory and infodump.
>

Interior monologues full of backstory and infodump? Much as
I've come to enjoy him as a writer, I think Flint is the
worst for this. In the Belisarius books, he constantly has
his characters explain things to each other that they
clearly already know, just to review the story from previous
books.

Shakuntala:
Let's review what we will do with the grenades. There is a
very good reason for doing this.

Holkar:
What's that?

Shakuntala:
Plot exposition.

Kungas:
That's right. As you know, Bob, when the crystals first
explained the Malwa plot to Belisarius, he decided ....

Ahasuerus

unread,
May 10, 2001, 8:17:11 PM5/10/01
to
Michael J. Lowrey <oran...@uwm.edu> wrote:
[snip]

> _The Iron Heel_, by Ayn Rand

What a ... wondrous idea! :) This thread has incarnated before, but some
of the suggestions this time around ("_The Story of Dr. Doolittle_, by
Iain no-M Banks" (!)) make me wonder if r.a.sf.w. has really declined as
much as the background noise hereabouts would make you suspect.

[Pats r.a.sf.w. on the back]

--
Ahasuerus

Ahasuerus

unread,
May 10, 2001, 8:42:45 PM5/10/01
to
SkyeFire <skye...@aol.com> wrote:
> In article <ht1ifts99fajs27oa...@4ax.com>, Pete McCutchen
> <p.mcc...@worldnet.att.net> writes:
> [Jordan Bassior wrote:]

>>> Don't forget the way he (literally) mangled Doc Savage and Tarzan. The
>> bridge fight scene -- OUCH.
>>
>>Thanks for the reminder, Jordo. I'd been trying to forget that one.
>>Now it'll take me another twenty years to suppress that particular
>>memory.
>
> Doc Savage vs Tarzan? Sorry, but *this* I have to read (yes, I have a
> masochistic streak). Where would I find it?

Philip Jose Farmer's _A Feast Unknown_ is easy to find used. Be
forewarned, though, that it is quite explicit in a number of ways that
many people find hard to stomach. It's not as hardcore as some late
Delany, but it's not the kind of clean and healthy porn that you might
expect in a pulp hero pastiche.

OTOH, it's been occasionally suggested that _A Feast Unknown_ (1969) [and
_The Image of the Beast_ (1968), which were written for a budding "high
brow hard core" publisher in the late sixties] is his best crossover work
and arguably his best work period. On the gripping hand, most everybody
seems to agree that the sequels were nothing special.

--
Ahasuerus

Ahasuerus

unread,
May 10, 2001, 8:46:49 PM5/10/01
to
Matthias Warkus <mawa...@gnome.org> wrote:
> ...and Ahasuerus <ahas...@not-for-mail.org> wrote:
>> Matthias Warkus <mawa...@gnome.org> wrote:
>> > ...and aRJay <aR...@escore.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> >> >So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
>> >> >author that you can think of?
>> >
>> > A sequel to Lem's "Invincible" by S.M. Stirling.
>>
>> As in "You're gonna need a bigger boat"? :)
>
> Yup, exactly ;)

I suspect that in an alternative universe/newsgroup where Lem is better
known than Godwin we would have to endure endless flamewars about _The
Invincible_ :)

--
Ahasuerus

Sea Wasp

unread,
May 10, 2001, 9:04:13 PM5/10/01
to
Erik Trulsson wrote:

>
> _Neuromancer_ by E.E. "Doc" Smith

Hell, I'd pay double for this.

> (or a Lensman book by William Gibson)

Now THERE is a bad idea.

--
Sea Wasp http://www.wizvax.net/seawasp/index.html
/^\
;;; _Morgantown: The Jason Wood Chronicles_, at
http://www.hyperbooks.com/catalog/20040.html

Andrew Wheeler

unread,
May 10, 2001, 9:16:36 PM5/10/01
to
"Michael J. Lowrey" wrote:

> _The Left Hand of Darkness_, by S. M. Stirling & John
> Norman
>
> _The Turner Diaries_, by Nalo Hopkinson
>
> _40,000 in Gehenna_, by Mervyn Peake
>
> _The Iron Heel_, by Ayn Rand

_Creatures of Light and Darkness_ by Isaac Asimov

_The Dying Earth_ by Ernest Hemingway

_At the Mountains of Madness_ by Edmond Hamilton

_The Man in the High Castle_ by Harry Turtledove
(since Stirling has been mentioned too much already)

_Stormbringer_ by David Eddings

_Dying Inside_ by Spider Robinson

--
Andrew Wheeler
Editor, SF Book Club (USA)
"Success taps softly on the back door in the middle of
the night..._never_
rings the bell...disaster comes through the living room
picture window
with headlights on and SIRENS blaring!" -- The Flaming
Carrot

Joseph Michael Bay

unread,
May 10, 2001, 9:12:14 PM5/10/01
to
Matt Ruff <Storyt...@worldnet.att.net> writes:

>Neat question, but the problem is that a lot of the ideas that are
>popping into my head are books that probably would be very interesting
>to at least skim through. Thomas Pynchon's "Starship Troopers," for
>example

His name is Capt. Johnny ("Puerto") Rico. He
is outfitted in thick armor, a tartan of orange, rust,
and scarlet. His skull is made of metal.

>"Number of the Beast" would make a good Vernor Vinge novel, I think.
>He'd find a way to strand his protagonists in a succession of
>*dangerous* alternate universes instead of sending them to Oz in search
>of an ob-gyn clinc.


The part where they comment on how lucky they are that they
didn't read Lovecraft and such when they were young suggests
a much more interesting book.
--
Joe Bay FLX NAV VEH CHO
Cancer Biology NUC MEM ATM OIE
Leland Stanford Junior University LIF CNT PAK UNF

Lee Ann Rucker

unread,
May 10, 2001, 10:38:24 PM5/10/01
to
In article <3AF7739E...@polarnet.ca>,
Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:

> I'm
> thinking, for instance, that Doc Smith would have had a hard time in
> trying to write a quiet little mood piece without blowing something up.

You *know* it's one of the laws of Usenet that as soon as you say
something's impossible, someone will provide an example of it:

The WWII section of "Triplanetary" is fairly quiet, and the only
explosion happens offscreen. Of course, this could be because it's
autobiographical.

Michael S. Schiffer

unread,
May 10, 2001, 10:47:01 PM5/10/01
to
Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> wrote in <3AFB3A...@wizvax.net>:
>...

>> (or a Lensman book by William Gibson)

> Now THERE is a bad idea.

I don't know-- it might be interesting. A scientist/technician on the
bad side of the law, recruited by Boskone to hack into a captured Lens
(preserved somehow-- perhaps by keeping the Lensman alive but
unconscious), working alongside a Lyranian bodyguard/assassin. The
climax comes when our cowboy is just "successful" enough that he finds
himself in a wide-open two-way with Mentor, at which point...

Mike

--
Michael S. Schiffer, LHN, FCS
ms...@mediaone.net
msch...@condor.depaul.edu

Jordan S. Bassior

unread,
May 10, 2001, 11:37:23 PM5/10/01
to
Lee Ann Rucker said:

>The WWII section of "Triplanetary" is fairly quiet, and the only
>explosion happens offscreen. Of course, this could be because it's
>autobiographical.

Of course, he makes up for it in the _next_ section -- WWIII :)

Captain Button

unread,
May 10, 2001, 11:38:49 PM5/10/01
to

Lensman novels by Stephen Donaldson?

--
"You may have trouble getting permission to aero or lithobrake
asteroids on Earth." - James Nicoll
Captain Button - [ but...@io.com ]

Joyce Reynolds-Ward

unread,
May 10, 2001, 11:53:41 PM5/10/01
to
On Thu, 10 May 2001 21:04:13 -0400, Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net>
wrote:

snip

>> (or a Lensman book by William Gibson)

> Now THERE is a bad idea.

How about a Lensman book by David Feintuch?

Seafort with a Lens....

jrw

Rachel Brown

unread,
May 11, 2001, 12:06:09 AM5/11/01
to
Andrew Wheeler <andrew...@earthlink.com> wrote in article
>
> _Stormbringer_ by David Eddings

Ye Gods.

> _Dying Inside_ by Spider Robinson

We have this one already, and you're right, he shouldn't have written it.
It occurs in at least three of his books. "Oh, boy, I'm telepathic, and so
are you, and you, and you, and we all love each other, oh boy! Now that
we've all achieved this nirvana of enlightened, perfect telepathic bliss,
let us make the entire world telepathic so we can all understand each other
perfectly and be oh! so happy together."

It was bad enough having to endure that sort of thing when I was in college
and had to listen to high people explain to me why I should be high too.
Actually, reading about it in a book is preferable. You don't have to
shove away pot pipes or disentangle yourself from unwanted hugs. You just
close the book.

Rachel

She was a vixen when she went to school,
And though she be but little, she is fierce

William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"

Captain Button

unread,
May 11, 2001, 1:21:20 AM5/11/01
to
Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists insist that on Mon, 07 May 2001 22:18:38 -0600, Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:

[ snip ]

> So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> author that you can think of?

A Honor Harrington novel by Robert Sheckley

Steve Taylor

unread,
May 11, 2001, 1:25:22 AM5/11/01
to
Joyce Reynolds-Ward wrote:

> How about a Lensman book by David Feintuch?
>
> Seafort with a Lens....

Well, his sense of duty is strong enough that I'd suspect he'd be
incorruptable, and he's shown himself to be extremely capable. But
though it's never mentioned in the books, I suspect Lensmen are supposed
to have a slightly more positive attitude.

> jrw

Steve

Keith Morrison

unread,
May 11, 2001, 1:22:56 AM5/11/01
to
Sea Wasp wrote:
>
> Erik Trulsson wrote:
>
> >
> > _Neuromancer_ by E.E. "Doc" Smith
>
> Hell, I'd pay double for this.

Well, the idea of a software defence defending its data by nuking the
continent the hacker is on is sort of amusing.

--
Keith

Michael Schilling

unread,
May 11, 2001, 1:34:35 AM5/11/01
to
Pete McCutchen wrote:

> On 09 May 2001 00:55:52 GMT, jsba...@aol.com (Jordan S. Bassior)
> wrote:
>
> >Pete McCutchen said:
> >
> >>This may be too easy, but I'm thinking Phillip Jose Farmer's Oz book
> >>qualifies, here.


> >
> >Don't forget the way he (literally) mangled Doc Savage and Tarzan. The bridge
> >fight scene -- OUCH.
>
> Thanks for the reminder, Jordo. I'd been trying to forget that one.
> Now it'll take me another twenty years to suppress that particular
> memory.

Pete, if you didn't read _The World According to Garp_, umm, don't.

Michael Schilling

unread,
May 11, 2001, 1:38:25 AM5/11/01
to
Ahasuerus wrote:

I'd say that the story "Riders of the Purple Wage" is head and shoulders above
anything else Farmer ever wrote. I remember _Night of Light_ fondly, but the
stories which were sequels to that were so plodding I'm afraid to reread it.

Del Cotter

unread,
May 10, 2001, 5:08:01 PM5/10/01
to
On Thu, 10 May 2001, in rec.arts.sf.written,
Michael J. Lowrey <oran...@uwm.edu> said:

>_The Left Hand of Darkness_, by S. M. Stirling & John
>Norman

No, no, Jack Chalker!

--
Del Cotter d...@branta.demon.co.uk

Jordan S. Bassior

unread,
May 11, 2001, 3:05:07 AM5/11/01
to
Steve Taylor said:

>Well, his sense of duty is strong enough that I'd suspect he'd be
>incorruptable, and he's shown himself to be extremely capable. But
>though it's never mentioned in the books, I suspect Lensmen are supposed
>to have a slightly more positive attitude.

Direct mind-to-mind contact could induce suicide, you mean? Could be a powerful
weapon in the fight against Boskone ... ;-)

Sea Wasp

unread,
May 11, 2001, 8:45:07 AM5/11/01
to

No, I don't think it's impossible to have a pessimistic gloomy
Lensman -- if the darn Palainians can get Lenses, a depressed but
still upright and incorruptible human ought to be able to get in.

Susan Stepney

unread,
May 11, 2001, 10:30:04 AM5/11/01
to
Rachel Brown wrote:
>
> Andrew Wheeler <andrew...@earthlink.com> wrote in article
> >
> > _Dying Inside_ by Spider Robinson
>
> We have this one already, and you're right, he shouldn't have written it.
> It occurs in at least three of his books. "Oh, boy, I'm telepathic, and so
> are you, and you, and you, and we all love each other, oh boy! Now that
> we've all achieved this nirvana of enlightened, perfect telepathic bliss,
> let us make the entire world telepathic so we can all understand each other
> perfectly and be oh! so happy together."
>

"the entire world, which includes bringing back to life all the people
who have died."


--
_____________________________________________________________________
Susan Stepney tel +44 1223 366343 step...@logica.com
Logica UK Ltd, Betjeman House, 104 Hills Road, Cambridge, CB2 1LQ, UK
http://public.logica.com/~stepneys/ http://www.logica.com/

Susan Stepney

unread,
May 11, 2001, 10:33:02 AM5/11/01
to

And by a few books in the series later,
it's nuking the entire galaxy the hacker is in?

Susan Stepney

unread,
May 11, 2001, 10:34:03 AM5/11/01
to
Captain Button wrote:
>
> Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists insist that on Mon, 07 May 2001 22:18:38 -0600, Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:
>
> [ snip ]
>
> > So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> > author that you can think of?
>
> A Honor Harrington novel by Robert Sheckley
>

An Honor Harrington novel by Anne McCaffrey

Kent Coyle

unread,
May 11, 2001, 9:36:30 AM5/11/01
to

On Thu, 10 May 2001, Michael J. Lowrey wrote:

> _The Left Hand of Darkness_, by S. M. Stirling & John
> Norman
>

> _The Turner Diaries_, by Nalo Hopkinson
>
> _40,000 in Gehenna_, by Mervyn Peake
>
> _The Iron Heel_, by Ayn Rand
>

> --
> Michael J. "Orange Mike" Lowrey
> Sunrise Book Reviews
>
"Stranger in a Strange Land", by either Asimov or Tiptree. (Or Asimov
*and* Tiptree...).

Captain Button

unread,
May 11, 2001, 10:51:48 AM5/11/01
to
Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists insist that on Fri, 11 May 2001 15:33:02 +0100, Susan Stepney <step...@logica.com> wrote:
> Keith Morrison wrote:
>> Sea Wasp wrote:
>> > Erik Trulsson wrote:
>> > >
>> > > _Neuromancer_ by E.E. "Doc" Smith
>> >
>> > Hell, I'd pay double for this.
>>
>> Well, the idea of a software defence defending its data by nuking the
>> continent the hacker is on is sort of amusing.

> And by a few books in the series later,
> it's nuking the entire galaxy the hacker is in?

What did you think gamma-ray bursters were?

Gives the phrase "Illegal Operation" a whole new meaning.

John Ringo

unread,
May 10, 2001, 4:27:44 PM5/10/01
to

Jordan S. Bassior <jsba...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010510124917...@ng-mn1.aol.com...
> Matthias Warkus said:
>
> >It was the Thu, 10 May 2001 08:01:58 +1200...
> >...and Gareth Wilson <gr...@ext.canterbury.ac.nz> wrote:
> >> > "Lord of the Rings" by S. M. Stirling (though this one has a
> >certain
> >> > chilling fascination to it)
> >>
> >> I would buy that in a heartbeat.
> >
> >It'd surely feature some neat multiple-launch rocket systems.
>
> Who is writing this version of _The Lord of the Rings_?
>
> The Ringbearer is defeated and Sauron gets the Ring. The West seems lost,
until
> a US Civil War regiment accidentally falls through a dimensional portal
and
> winds up at Minas TIrith ...
> --


"What's this place?" he asked, looking at the gorge entrance.

"This is the Falls of Rauros," the local guide answered. "Here it was that
Bellarion stood, braying on his horns, daring the legions of Orcs to fall
upon him. Long did they battle, through the day and into the night until, as
the sun rose, lonely stood the hunter upon the falls, braying upon his horn,
crying havoc into the wintering dawn and about him lay the fallen, Rohirrim
and Men of Minas Tirith together bound forever in legacy. For they had stood
the Orcs and the Northlands would be cleansed..."

"Huh," said the bandylegged sergeant. "Good solid head to it, by gum. We dam
this and we kin git some purty good power for them thar triphammers."
:-)

John

--

Gust Front: http://www.johnringo.com/GustFront/GustCover.htm (April 2001,
Baen Books)
March Upcountry: http://www.johnringo.com/MUCover.htm (with David Weber, May
2001, Baen Books)
March To The Sea: (with David Weber, August 2001, Baen Books)


Keith Morrison

unread,
May 11, 2001, 10:34:22 AM5/11/01
to
Del Cotter wrote:
>
> On Thu, 10 May 2001, in rec.arts.sf.written,
> Michael J. Lowrey <oran...@uwm.edu> said:
>
> >_The Left Hand of Darkness_, by S. M. Stirling & John
> >Norman
>
> No, no, Jack Chalker!

Well, that would mean that the non-Gehennan characters would get to
rely on something a lot more obvious than behaviour when determing
who is in a female stage and who isn't. Two big somethings, as it
happens.

--
Keith

Sea Wasp

unread,
May 11, 2001, 11:34:00 AM5/11/01
to
Susan Stepney wrote:
>
> Captain Button wrote:
> >
> > Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists insist that on Mon, 07 May 2001 22:18:38 -0600, Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:
> >
> > [ snip ]
> >
> > > So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> > > author that you can think of?
> >
> > A Honor Harrington novel by Robert Sheckley
> >
>
> An Honor Harrington novel by Anne McCaffrey


You should probably be shot down by a full salvo of missile pods just
for the suggestion.

Sea Wasp

unread,
May 11, 2001, 11:50:02 AM5/11/01
to
The Chronicles of Narnia, by H.P. Lovecraft

Captain Button

unread,
May 11, 2001, 11:49:53 AM5/11/01
to
[ alt.books.david-weber added to the Newsgroups line and followups
set there. ]

Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists insist that on Fri, 11 May 2001 11:34:00 -0400, Sea Wasp <sea...@wizvax.net> wrote:
> Susan Stepney wrote:
>> Captain Button wrote:
>> > Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists insist that on Mon, 07 May 2001 22:18:38 -060
> 0, Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:
>> >
>> > [ snip ]
>> >
>> > > So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
>> > > author that you can think of?
>> >
>> > A Honor Harrington novel by Robert Sheckley
>> >
>> An Honor Harrington novel by Anne McCaffrey

> You should probably be shot down by a full salvo of missile pods just
> for the suggestion.

Oh, I don't know. HH already has a telepathically bonded cute
animal companion, and the way she is getting various bits shot
off at regular intervals she could easily end up as a shell person...

It'd solve the annoyance/confusion problems with the GNS SD(P)
Honor Harrington also.

And she has Mac and all her Armsmen to serve as brawns.

Susan Stepney

unread,
May 11, 2001, 12:39:01 PM5/11/01
to
Sea Wasp wrote:
>
> The Chronicles of Narnia, by H.P. Lovecraft
>

Hamlet, by Spider Robinson

Jordan S. Bassior

unread,
May 11, 2001, 12:46:23 PM5/11/01
to
John Ringo said:

>"What's this place?" he asked, looking at the gorge entrance.
>
>"This is the Falls of Rauros," the local guide answered. "Here it was that
>Bellarion stood, braying on his horns, daring the legions of Orcs to fall
>upon him. Long did they battle, through the day and into the night until, as
>the sun rose, lonely stood the hunter upon the falls, braying upon his horn,
>crying havoc into the wintering dawn and about him lay the fallen, Rohirrim
>and Men of Minas Tirith together bound forever in legacy. For they had stood
>the Orcs and the Northlands would be cleansed..."
>
>"Huh," said the bandylegged sergeant. "Good solid head to it, by gum. We dam
>this and we kin git some purty good power for them thar triphammers."
>:-)

LOL!!! :D

Matthias Warkus

unread,
May 11, 2001, 11:16:09 AM5/11/01
to
It was the Fri, 11 May 2001 15:34:03 +0100...

...and Susan Stepney <step...@logica.com> wrote:
> > > So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> > > author that you can think of?
> >
> > A Honor Harrington novel by Robert Sheckley
>
> An Honor Harrington novel by Anne McCaffrey

Ouch.

What about _Dune_, by Arthur C. Clarke?

mawa
--
I know that I've been mad in love before / And how it could be with you
|: Really hurt me baby :| / How can you have a day without a night
You're the book that I have opened / And now I've got to know much more
-- Massive Attack: Unfinished Sympathy

Steinn Sigurdsson

unread,
May 11, 2001, 1:39:37 PM5/11/01
to

> Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists insist that on Mon, 07 May 2001 22:18:38 -0600, Keith Morrison <kei...@polarnet.ca> wrote:

> [ snip ]

> > So, any suggestions? What's the worse possible combination of story/
> > author that you can think of?


A Skylark of Space novel by John Grisham

A Ralph Bakshi animated version of Startide Rising

Piers Anthony doing a Hobbit sequel

Gray Mouser of Gor

Last Men in London by Ayn Rand

A Culture Novel by Barnes


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