It is not just you. The movie will sink like a brick.
Brenda
--
---------
Brenda W. Clough
http://www.sff.net/people/Brenda/
Recent short fiction: PARADOX, Autumn 2003
http://home.nyc.rr.com/paradoxmag//index.html
Upcoming short fiction in FIRST HEROES (TOR, May '04)
http://members.aol.com/wenamun/firstheroes.html
That's it! I wondered what about the trailer was creeping me out so
much.
Ted
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is _supposed_ to be creepy.
--
Aaron Denney
-><-
The creepy pedophile stuff is the only new thing being brought to this
version. Everything else is just a rehash of the original film, except
bigger... with the charm removed.
Doug
...seriously, do we need 60 Oompa Loompas instead of 6?
I thought it was a new adaptation of the book, not a remake of the first
film. Looks like they've got the squirrels from the book rather than
the golden geese from the first movie anyway.
Beats me, never read the book. Some of the details are different, but
the overall feeling is the same. Dahl is on record as being
disappointed by the original film. We'd need a ouija board to find out
his feelings about this one, of course.
Doug
Yep. My guess is that Depp is modeling Wonka on a number of people,
one of whom is definitely Michael Jackson. He did POTC exactly the
same way, with Jack Sparrow being (according to Depp) a cross between
Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew.
-David
I kept thinking Freddie Mercury, of course that could just be the teeth.
Ian
> Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is _supposed_ to be creepy.
>
Damn straight. The Gene Wilder version was MILD. (I liked that one,
don't get me wrong; Wilder did know what he was doing. However, Wonka
is NEVER that warm and comfortable. I think of him as a
chocolate-obsessed version of Ruggedo, the Nome King. He is NOT a safe
little elf to be with, and even Charlie and his family undergo some
considerably stressful times with him.
--
Sea Wasp
/^\
;;;
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/seawasp/
> Is it just me, or does Willy Wonka in the new movie look and sound a bit
> too much like Michael Jackson?
I think it's just you.
stePH
--
"I want you to put Felix's penis on me!"
>>
>> The creepy pedophile stuff is the only new thing being brought to
>> this version. Everything else is just a rehash of the original film,
>> except bigger... with the charm removed.
>>
> I thought it was a new adaptation of the book, not a remake of the
> first film. Looks like they've got the squirrels from the book rather
> than the golden geese from the first movie anyway.
Hopefully Burton's not making a musical, like the first film was. I hate
musicals. Yes, I know the Oompa Loopas sang songs in the book, but nobody
else did.
I'll probably go see it ... Burton used to be on my "just go see it" list
until he did _Planet of the Apes_.
All of his books are well worth reading, imo. He really understood the
darkness and nastiness of childhood.
There is an article and an interview with Depp in this week's
NEWSWEEK. He says he was not modeling upon Michael Jackson.
Which may mean he is just unlucky.
>There is an article and an interview with Depp in this week's
>NEWSWEEK. He says he was not modeling upon Michael Jackson.
Well, what else is the guy going to say?
>Which may mean he is just unlucky.
Could be. I don't know if it'll have any effect at all on
the movie, to be honest. Even if everyone thinks he's
deliberately copying Jackson. That guy has a LOT of
supporters out there, even after years of weirdness.
And there are a lot more people who won't care one way
or the other. I think the people who would avoid the
movie based on Depp mimicking Jackson are just a drop
in the bucket compared to the total intended audience.
Doesn't mean the film won't bomb on its own merits, of
course.
Pete
James and the Giant Peach was pretty good, although my favorite is The
Hundred and One Balloons.
I have read the book, but not for a loooong time. There are a couple of
other things that seem to be from the book and not the first movie. Like
the Great Glass Elevator. And the book did have hundreds of
Ooompaloompas running around.
However, IIRC Willie Wonka should be a wizened old gnome type of guy,
not a creepy dead-faced weirdo with straight black hair. The idea of a
Jacko look-alike putting out magic tickets to lure little kids to his
"fantasy land" is just bad timing.
All of his books, and especially all of his short stories (which are
available as omnibuses).
Adults block it out, but kids know that childhood is a troubling and
creepy time. Adults try to ignore it, but kids *love* reading books
that recognize the troublingness and creepyness of childhood.
ObSF: _Hogfather_
--
Mark Atwood When you do things right, people won't be sure
m...@mark.atwood.name you've done anything at all.
http://mark.atwood.name/ http://www.livejournal.com/users/fallenpegasus
I wonder they forget.
I remember the early stages of my easy-A in high school English,
when I realized that there was a viable niche in that course [1] for
someone who presented unconventional ideas reasonably well, came when
we all had to write essay on being kids. Everyone but me wrote saccharine
works about how great it was to be a kid and I wrote a funny one about
how much it sucked to be a kid, to lose every argument with adults on the
basis of being smaller than them, even when logic and the millipedes were
on my side.
I know some kids had childhoods and teen years as filled with
opportunities for character growth as mine, so either they thought they
were supposed to present the happy happy childhood idea as true or they
were better at supressing memories.
James Nicoll
1: But not gym. The one time I actually got a teacher to crack and
scream at me when I presented a paper claiming to show marriage was
a bad idea from a taxview point. I have no idea why he went ballistic.
--
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/immigrate/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/james_nicoll
One of my cousins, a stand up comedian (and a damn funny one), has
that as one of his routines.
"Do I want to be a kid again?
HELL NO!
Being a kid *sucked*."
At which point he launchs into a liteny of reason why being a kid is
unfair, unjust, violent, unpleasent, and put upon, and comparing it to
just how much being an adult can rock.
> Luna <luna...@NOSPAMmindspring.com> writes:
> >
> > All of his books are well worth reading, imo. He really understood the
> > darkness and nastiness of childhood.
>
> All of his books, and especially all of his short stories (which are
> available as omnibuses).
>
> Adults block it out, but kids know that childhood is a troubling and
> creepy time. Adults try to ignore it, but kids *love* reading books
> that recognize the troublingness and creepyness of childhood.
Adults probably block it out because the troublingness and creepiness of
childhood is at least 50% due to the behavior of the parents.
>
> Adults block it out, but kids know that childhood is a troubling and
> creepy time.
And then adults insist on telling them "These are the best years of your
life."
Millipedes?
That "Cat in the Hat" movie suffered similarly, through bad timing
and bad taste of the filmmakers part. Michael Myers, as the Cat,
seemed to be modeling a mixture of Dr. Seuss's original Cat and
Austin Powers. What resulted was a white-faced freak who made sex
jokes in the presence of children. It was kinda boneheaded even
without Michael Jackson in the general awareness.
Ha. I wish I had had access to chunks of cobalt and nickel
back in the 5th grade, when I wrote them as answers to the
question "Name two metals that are magnetic" on a science
test. (The "teacher" wanted "iron and steel".)
(Yes, I still hold a grudge on this one, 40 years later.)
>Without, and it turned out that this was important, giving the
>teacher any idea what it was I was about to put on her desk.
*SKKNORRRFFF*
Oh, my poor keyboard and monitor....
--
Infamy is like a pair of tight leather pants in | Mike Van Pelt
the Amazon. It might LOOK cool, but after just | mvp at calweb.com
a couple of hours it chafes, and that's just | KE6BVH
the start of your problems. -- Howard Tayler
Are you sure that's not The Twenty-One Ballons, by William Pene du Bois?
--
chuk
Thus the high rate of teen suicide.
--
Aaron Davies
Opinions expressed are solely those of a random number generator.
Magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
Ho! Ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Thrust!
> trike <dougtr...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Beats me, never read the book. Some of the details are different, but
> > the overall feeling is the same. Dahl is on record as being
> > disappointed by the original film. We'd need a ouija board to find out
> > his feelings about this one, of course.
>
> All of his books are well worth reading, imo. He really understood the
> darkness and nastiness of childhood.
<aol/> The only other author I've read who seems to have the same feel
for that is Rowling: the home scenes with the Dursleys, especially in
the first two or three books, seem straight out of Dahl--_Matilda_ or
_James and the Giant Peach_, in particular.
Mike Van Pelt wrote:
> In article <d9sdmf$ekm$1...@reader1.panix.com>,
> James Nicoll <jdni...@panix.com> wrote:
> >In article <WAiwe.908$0V3...@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com>,
> >I had a teacher who thought that if millipedes were called
> >thousand footed, they must literally have a thousand legs.
> >I knew that this was wrong so I collected a bunch and brought
> >them in so we could count the legs together.
>
> Ha. I wish I had had access to chunks of cobalt and nickel
> back in the 5th grade, when I wrote them as answers to the
> question "Name two metals that are magnetic" on a science
> test. (The "teacher" wanted "iron and steel".)
Is this going to turn into, "dumb things teachers told me"?
In highschool, one science teacher taught us that Ichthyosaurs gave
rise to swordfish. I protested vainly that no reptile ever gave rise to
a fish, in fact there was no direct relationship between and fish and
other sea-going animals.
We argued about that through the quarter (I actually liked the guy
quite a bit). He tried to get me by putting it on the final exam, but
erred by including it in the "short answer" portion. I was able to
accurately reply, "YOU claim it was swordfish". He counted it as
correct.
Brian
Heh. Not me personally, but I know someone who, on an English Lit test,
was asked "who wrote <something or other; I forget what>", and answered
"Byron" (or maybe "Lord Byron"). This was counted only half correct.
When asked about it, the teacher said "you didn't include the co-author".
When faced with the protest that there *was* no co-author, she showed
right there in the teacher's answer book, where it said the book was by
"George Gordon, Lord Byron". And to get full credit, you had to name
both of the authors, sez she. And refused to change the grade.
Or be confused by the facts, for that matter.
That's a true story, so my informant (who was the student involved)
tells me. I think the one I heard Nth hand about the musical team
of "Rimsky and Korsakof" wasn't genuine. That may have been a Victor
Borge bit.
Wayne Throop thr...@sheol.org http://sheol.org/throopw
Aaron Davies wrote:
> Luna <luna...@NOSPAMmindspring.com> wrote:
>
> > trike <dougtr...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > > Beats me, never read the book. Some of the details are different, but
> > > the overall feeling is the same. Dahl is on record as being
> > > disappointed by the original film. We'd need a ouija board to find out
> > > his feelings about this one, of course.
> >
> > All of his books are well worth reading, imo. He really understood the
> > darkness and nastiness of childhood.
>
> <aol/> The only other author I've read who seems to have the same feel
> for that is Rowling: the home scenes with the Dursleys, especially in
> the first two or three books, seem straight out of Dahl--_Matilda_ or
> _James and the Giant Peach_, in particular.
> --
Oh i think Ray Bradbury had this one taped. See "The Playground" in
particualr, but 'All summer in a Day" does the job, too.
-DES
I first envounterd this book read aloud, by my fatehr, many years ago.
He did Wonka as W.C. Fields, and i have ever since seen wille wonka
that way. Think about it: the fields of "I'm a bit deaf in this ear"
and "Go away kid, you bother me."
-DES
I can't tell if the more just outcome would be the better one, where
instead of high rates of teen suicide, there were instead more parents
and teachers murdered by their children.
Six of one, half a dozen of the other...
> > And then adults insist on telling them "These are the best years of your
> > life."
>
> Thus the high rate of teen suicide.
Such teens are very useful when you're waging a war against a greatly
superior force. Since they are very common, you can make them feel useful
by strapping some bombs on them and sending them against the hated
outsiders.
>Is this going to turn into, "dumb things teachers told me"?
Or "correct answers teachers marked wrong"...
Third grade. "Name two mammals that live in the ocean." Yes, there's
an obvious answer, but I knew that dolphins and porpoises aren't the
same animal (not even the same family!), and I was still too naive to
try to out-psych the test creator. I dashed down the first thing that
came to mind and went on. Had to drag the fargin encyclopedia out of
our family-room cupboard to get my perfect score back...
--Craig
--
"Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever." - The Replacements
Craig Richardson (crichar...@worldnet.att.net)
> Ha. I wish I had had access to chunks of cobalt and nickel
> back in the 5th grade, when I wrote them as answers to the
> question "Name two metals that are magnetic" on a science
> test. (The "teacher" wanted "iron and steel".)
>
> (Yes, I still hold a grudge on this one, 40 years later.)
8th grade science teacher dragging me and my lab partner up to the
front of the class because we had scratch-tested, determined the
density, and otherwise identified 5 minerals in the time others had
done one: "How are you doing it that fast?"
Me: "Well, I know what they are when I see them, so he sets up the
balance for the density we ought to get while I'm choosing the right
stuff for the scratch test and so we get it all done really fast."
Teacher: "You know them by SIGHT?"
Me: "Yes."
Teacher: "NO ONE identifies all those minerals by sight!" (strides
over to a huge barrel of different rocks, roots around, grins, yanks
out one) "There! What's THAT then?"
Me: (two second pause to survey the rock in my hand) "Calchopyrite."
Teacher: (stares for a few seconds) "Go find out what it is... you're
right."
I also corrected that teacher in astronomy, though in that case he
was simply behind the times; the textbook said Pluto had no moon,
while I knew that they'd discovered Charon.
Then there was my Social Studies teacher who I bet 5 dollars -- in
class -- that he was wrong about how oil was found underground. I then
crossed the hall, walked into the library, grabbed the National
Geographic which happened to have, that month, a special article on
oil, found the paragraph I knew was there, and walked back to the
class and handed it to him. He read it, grinned, and handed me the 5.
I was the guy who won in that arena. THAT part of childhood I didn't
mind. It was the other KIDS.
If I could be a kid again, but knowing what I know now, I might. It
certainly wouldn't be as bad.
--
Sea Wasp
/^\
;;;
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/seawasp/
Eight grade Engligh class. We were given a long list of names of
historical figures to identify. On the list was Michael Faraday. I put
down something about early researcher in electricity, and it came back
marked wrong, and that he was a Civil War admiral.
It took the better part of a week to convince first the teacher and then
the librarian who had consulted in writing the test that
"Michael Faraday != David Farragut".
It was only one point out of a >100 pt test, and I wasn't even fighting
for a perfect score, but still. I got my revenge, though. After the
test, we had to pick one person on the list and give a 15 minute
presentation on him/her. When the dust settled, the teacher (and class)
knew more than they wanted to about Faraday...
-dms
A Year 11 teacher corrected one of my essays, saying that I should have
used "a myriad of ..." instead of "myriad ...". Off to the library I
went to find an example in the Shorter Oxford, which she grudgingly
accepted.
The same woman also managed to kill some great poetry for me. I still
can't stand _The Rime of the Ancient Mariner_, great though I know it to
be. Fortunately _Kubla Khan_ managed to survive the treatment.
Luke
I certainly can't imagine what problem the other kids would have had with
you.
>Heh. Not me personally, but I know someone who, on an English Lit test,
>was asked "who wrote <something or other; I forget what>", and answered
>"Byron" (or maybe "Lord Byron"). This was counted only half correct.
>When asked about it, the teacher said "you didn't include the co-author".
>When faced with the protest that there *was* no co-author, she showed
>right there in the teacher's answer book, where it said the book was by
>"George Gordon, Lord Byron". And to get full credit, you had to name
>both of the authors, sez she. And refused to change the grade.
>Or be confused by the facts, for that matter.
I missed an extra-credit question on a spelling test once. The
question was "Can goblins drink out of goblets?" I said yes, the
teacher said no, since goblins are imaginary. It was only extra
credit, and I found that explanation so illogical, I decided it wasn't
worth arguing the point.
Rebecca
> I remember the early stages of my easy-A in high school English,
>when I realized that there was a viable niche in that course [1] for
>someone who presented unconventional ideas reasonably well, came when
>we all had to write essay on being kids. Everyone but me wrote saccharine
>works about how great it was to be a kid and I wrote a funny one about
>how much it sucked to be a kid, to lose every argument with adults on the
>basis of being smaller than them, even when logic and the millipedes were
>on my side.
The moment that crystallized my oddness to me was when we were
assigned the "poetry project" in...hmm.. 4th, maybe 5th grade. We had
to pick a theme, find X numbers of poems about it, collect them
together, write up a brief description/analysis of the poems and how
they fit the theme, and give it a nice artistic cover.
Most of the kids did things like friendship, love, spring, patriotism,
family, that kind of thing. I think there may have even been one on
puppies. Mine was "man's use of the supernatural to explain the world
around him". Had a nice cover of a ghost rising above a tombstone
with RIP on it. Stuck out like a sore thumb among the others. And I
was absolutely flabbergasted when I saw the themes that the other kids
had picked. They all seemed so... simple.
Rebecca
[conflict with adults in childhood]
> I was the guy who won in that arena. THAT part of childhood I
> didn't mind. It was the other KIDS.
Unquestionably the worst aspect of childhood, I agree.
stePH
--
"I want you to put Felix's penis on me!"
Mike Van Pelt wrote:
> Ha. I wish I had had access to chunks of cobalt and nickel
> back in the 5th grade, when I wrote them as answers to the
> question "Name two metals that are magnetic" on a science
> test. (The "teacher" wanted "iron and steel".)
>
> (Yes, I still hold a grudge on this one, 40 years later.)
I've got two. I had to convince my high school Biology teacher that
water expanded when it froze, "So THAT'S why you can't put soda in the
fridge..." She later went on to be the scientific advisor for our US
Representative.
I never was able to convince my chemistry teacher of the point of
Schroedinger's Cat after she had completely butchered the explination
to our class. "But that makes no sense...the cat can't be alive AND
dead. You must have misunderstood something." She gets Federal grant
money to search for cures for cancer.
My COLLEGE Health and Wellness teacher told us on the first day that the
word "biology" comes from "ology"- the study of, and "bi"-two, so
biology is the study of two things, plants and animals. That was just
the first taste of inaccuracies.
> Mike Van Pelt wrote:
> > In article <d9sdmf$ekm$1...@reader1.panix.com>,
> > James Nicoll <jdni...@panix.com> wrote:
> > >In article <WAiwe.908$0V3...@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com>,
> > >I had a teacher who thought that if millipedes were called
> > >thousand footed, they must literally have a thousand legs.
> > >I knew that this was wrong so I collected a bunch and brought
> > >them in so we could count the legs together.
> >
> > Ha. I wish I had had access to chunks of cobalt and nickel
> > back in the 5th grade, when I wrote them as answers to the
> > question "Name two metals that are magnetic" on a science
> > test. (The "teacher" wanted "iron and steel".)
> Is this going to turn into, "dumb things teachers told me"?
Yes, it seems it has, and I can't resist joining in myself.
First off was fairly tame. A teacher asked what radar was and I stuck
my hand up and replied that it was a way of getting distances to
something by bouncing radio off it, and that the army used it (I think
this was the bit she didn't like) and said a few other things all of
which I thought were broadly correct - I can't remember the exact
details and probably slipped up somewhere though. Apparently I was
wrong though, and another kid came up with the right answer - "It's
what bats use".
Then there was the teacher who was telling us about the three factors
that influence wave height:
wind strength
how long the wind blows for
reach (how far the wave can travel)
Now there was a rather confusing table of numbers we were supposed to
use to figure this out. It was rather confusing because it didn't give
you a way to separate out the factors (eg keep reach and time
constant, vary strength) so the teacher convinced herself that reach
was negatively correlated with wave height. Took me about
three-quarters of an hour to talk her round.
--
Edd
And I guess "biochemistry" comes from "bi," meaning two, and
"ochemistry," which is the Irish word for chemistry . . .
--
Bill Snyder [This space unintentionally left blank.]
Actually I'd give her that one, though it is certainly an odd question
for a spelling test. Now if the question were
_Could_ goblins drink out of goblets?
Then "yes" would probably be correct.
Ted
To whom? To her? Who cares?
--
An experiment in publishing:
http://www.ethshar.com/thesprigganexperiment0.html
The All-New, All-Different Howling Curmudgeons!
http://www.whiterose.org/howlingcurmudgeons
To correct you, but I don't have to prove you wrong. Usually I say "You
can go look it up yourself, you don't need to believe me."
>In article <d9sdmf$ekm$1...@reader1.panix.com>,
>James Nicoll <jdni...@panix.com> wrote:
>>In article <WAiwe.908$0V3...@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com>,
>>Mike Schilling <mscotts...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>"James Nicoll" <jdni...@panix.com> wrote in message
>>>news:d9s9og$ell$1...@reader1.panix.com...
>>>> I wrote a funny one about
>>>> how much it sucked to be a kid, to lose every argument with adults on the
>>>> basis of being smaller than them, even when logic and the millipedes were
>>>> on my side.
>>>
>>>Millipedes?
>>>
>> I had a teacher who thought that if millipedes were called
>>thousand footed, they must literally have a thousand legs. I knew
>>that this was wrong so I collected a bunch and brought them in so
>>we could count the legs together. Without, and it turned out that
>>this was important, giving the teacher any idea what it was I was
>>about to put on her desk.
>
>I lost my interest in proving people wrong around age 12 or so. If my
>teachers (nuns) wanted to believe stupid things, let 'em.
As a former high school physics teacher I might be offended at all
this teacher-trashing, except...
...we used to tell similar stories about how elementary school
teachers inculcated bizarre math ideas in the kids before they sent
them on to us.
e.g: 2/3 + 3/5 = 5/8, because it's easier than all that common
denominator stuff.
cheers
Gary
Apparently.
I had a physics teacher in Grade 10 who was teaching us about the concept
of efficiency. He built a little ball-bearing on a track thing and did
some calculations, then told us it was 1800% efficient. I told him it
couldn't be that high, he did it again and got (IIRC) 143% (it was
definitely between 100 and 200%), and when I complained again he pointed
his chalk at me and said, "You do it then." Of course I did.
Hmmm...now that I think of it, that was probably only the first week I was
in that school, and I never was very popular there...
--
chuk
> Aaron Davies <aa...@avalon.pascal-central.com.invalid> wrote:
>
> > <r.r...@thevine.net> wrote:
> >
> > > I missed an extra-credit question on a spelling test once. The
> > > question was "Can goblins drink out of goblets?" I said yes, the
> > > teacher said no, since goblins are imaginary. It was only extra
> > > credit, and I found that explanation so illogical, I decided it wasn't
> > > worth arguing the point.
> >
> > Your teacher needs a lesson in logic.
>
> Actually I'd give her that one, though it is certainly an odd question for
> a spelling test. Now if the question were
>
> _Could_ goblins drink out of goblets?
>
> Then "yes" would probably be correct.
I'd approach it as a "vacuous" proof: all statements about the members
of the empty set are true. (Presumably as a consequence of the
definition of implication.) Thus, since goblins don't exist, they can
drink out of goblets, fly, pat their heads and rub their tummies, or any
other activity you care to name.
True:
All goblins drink out of goblets
No goblins drink out of goblets.
Every goblin who drinks out of a goblet also drinks out of a stein.
If a goblin drinks water out of a goblet, he becomes drunk.
If the sky is blue, then all goblins drink out of goblets.
If the moon is made of green cheese, then some goblins drink out of goblets
False:
Some goblins drink out of goblets.
Some goblins do not drink out of goblets.
The current king of the goblins drinks out of a goblet.
If the sun is hot, then some goblins drink out of goblets.
> Ted Nolan <tednolan> <t...@loft.tnolan.com> wrote:
>
>> Aaron Davies <aa...@avalon.pascal-central.com.invalid> wrote:
>>
>> > <r.r...@thevine.net> wrote:
>> >
>> > > I missed an extra-credit question on a spelling test once. The
>> > > question was "Can goblins drink out of goblets?" I said yes, the
>> > > teacher said no, since goblins are imaginary. It was only extra
>> > > credit, and I found that explanation so illogical, I decided it
>> > > wasn't worth arguing the point.
>> >
>> > Your teacher needs a lesson in logic.
>>
>> Actually I'd give her that one, though it is certainly an odd
>> question for a spelling test. Now if the question were
>>
>> _Could_ goblins drink out of goblets?
>>
>> Then "yes" would probably be correct.
>
> I'd approach it as a "vacuous" proof: all statements about the members
> of the empty set are true. (Presumably as a consequence of the
> definition of implication.) Thus, since goblins don't exist, they can
> drink out of goblets, fly, pat their heads and rub their tummies, or
> any other activity you care to name.
Except exist.
--
Terry Austin
www.hyperbooks.com
Campaign Cartographer now available
The one I'm still annoyed about wasn't a test per se, but an academic
competition ("quiz bowl" type thing, called "Quick Recall" here in
Kentucky) question: it asked for the composer of the New World Symphony,
and I promptly answered Dvorak[1], pronouncing the name "d'vor-ZhAk",
which is, if not perfectly correct in Czech, at least a fairly common
American pronounciation. *My own coach*, sitting at the judges' table,
*after the judge had already given my team the point*, complained that
I'd mispronounced the name, and the resulting confusion was resolved by
withdrawing the question and replacing it with another, which the other
team scored on. We went on to lose the game by a single point.
--
Aaron Davies
Opinions expressed are solely those of a random number generator.
Magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
Ho! Ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Thrust!
[1] Hacek and acute accents omitted for Usenet.
I lost my interest in proving people wrong around age 12 or so. If my
teachers (nuns) wanted to believe stupid things, let 'em.
The point wasn't that that she was wrong but that I was right.
So if I were to use the phrase "fair-use rights" in a sentence, your
reaction would be... :-)
Mike
--
Michael S. Schiffer, LHN, FCS
msch...@condor.depaul.edu
I had a very bad habit of correcting my teachers, especially my math
teachers, far too quickly and eagerly. No "excuse me, but is that
supposed to be a 6?" Rather "it would be 12 but it's actually 24
becauseyouforgottomultiplybytwo".
--
Robert Hutchinson | The Twenty is just so evil. The very name gloats
| over our suffering and powerlessness. It's a
| boot stomping on a human face for twenty minutes.
| -- Shaenon K. Garrity
The first was "abandoned" being pronounced "abanded". I successfully
argued that one into being replaced. Helped me to a win, and a big three-
volume set of M-W unabridged dictionaries.
The second was "scaffold" being pronounced "scaffle". Didn't successfully
argue that one into being replaced. Cost me the schoolwide win.
I had a high school English teacher (US) spend one class ranting about how
the US Government was causing cancer by using lasers. And was serious.
--
"I reject your reality and substitute my own."
"Now, quack, damn you!"
Multiversal Mercenaries
You name it, we kill it. Any time, any reality.
My very favorite correcting-the-teacher's-math story was one,
alas, where I wasn't in that class, I just heard the marvelous
tale later. It was a college physics class on energy storage
in capacitors. The professor had a bank of capacitors of a
particular capacity he'd charged up to a particular voltage,
and, prior to discharging them to get a nice bang, he did the
math on the blackboard to show how much energy was about to be
released.
Voice from the back of the room: "Uh, Dr. Miagawa, I think
you slipped the decimal point there." (I suppose I'm showing
my age by saying this was in the age of slide rules.)
Dr. Miagawa stopped, looked at the calculations on the board,
said "Oh, dear..." while looking in horror out of the corner
of his eye at the Capacitors-O'Death on his desk.
He got the first several rows of the auditorium to move back,
took the screwdriver he was going to use to discharge the
caps and taped it to a meter stick, then taped that meter
stick to another meter stick.
*FLASH*WHAM!!*
Vaporized the screwdriver.
(I have my suspicions that Dr. Miagawa knew exactly what he
was doing, and had one student primed to "correct his math"
if no one else caught it, but it's still great theater.)
--
Infamy is like a pair of tight leather pants in | Mike Van Pelt
the Amazon. It might LOOK cool, but after just | mvp at calweb.com
a couple of hours it chafes, and that's just | KE6BVH
the start of your problems. -- Howard Tayler
> I had a high school English teacher (US) spend one class ranting about how
> the US Government was causing cancer by using lasers. And was serious.
That's so sad, since everyone with a lick of sense knows that *blazers*
that cause cancer, which is why 1970s TV weathermen died off so fast.
--
I don't have a lifestyle.
I have a lifeCSS.
See, you might not have gotten a good physics education, but you learned
an important lesson about politics :)
Got into trouble at my high school for correcting the nuns on points of
theology. (They were making heretical points. I don't mean stuff I
disagreed with. I mean actual heresy.) My principle called me in and told
me to knock it off. (I was buddies witrh my principle. We used to discuss
theology.) I was assigned to religion classes with priests after that. Of
course, I still wonder what bullshit the other people were fed. (I know
what bullshit I was fed. I remember my senior year in faith, the priest
started the first class by saying "Okay, I know some of you aren't
Catholic. I don't care what your faith is. You can be a anything from an
Anabaplist to a Zoroastrian on your own time, but when you are answering
questions on tests in this class, you are to provide the factual
information about what the Catholic Church believes.") The public high
schools in my home town were an absolute disaster. I was able to test out
of my first year in college through AP courses, so the religion classes
were something I was willing to deal with.
ObSF: I've noticed that there's not just an atheistic streak in some
fiction these days, but an anti-God streak. Books like The Am,ber Spyglass
and Towing Jehovah posit the existence of "God" and then whack the
sumbitch.
And hopefully, for his sake, not in Kansas, either.
Well, no, because goblins can't do that stuff. They aren't unreal. They
exist, but as concepts rather than physically reified entities. They can
no more drink from goblets than communism can. It's a mismatching of
concepts, as said once about Dirk Gently.
Now, here's a logically true statement: everytime the Statue of Liberty
hears a fire alarm, she jumps off her pedestal and swims around Manhattan.
>"Robert Hutchinson" <ser...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:MPG.1d2d1afbe...@netnews.mchsi.com...
>> Chuk Goodin says...
>>> Default User wrote:
>>> >Is this going to turn into, "dumb things teachers told me"?
>>>
>>> Apparently.
>>>
>>> I had a physics teacher in Grade 10 who was teaching us about the concept
>>> of efficiency. He built a little ball-bearing on a track thing and did
>>> some calculations, then told us it was 1800% efficient. I told him it
>>> couldn't be that high, he did it again and got (IIRC) 143% (it was
>>> definitely between 100 and 200%), and when I complained again he pointed
>>> his chalk at me and said, "You do it then." Of course I did.
>>>
>>> Hmmm...now that I think of it, that was probably only the first week I
>>> was
>>> in that school, and I never was very popular there...
>>
>> I had a very bad habit of correcting my teachers, especially my math
>> teachers, far too quickly and eagerly. No "excuse me, but is that
>> supposed to be a 6?" Rather "it would be 12 but it's actually 24
>> becauseyouforgottomultiplybytwo".
>
>I had a high school English teacher (US) spend one class ranting about how
>the US Government was causing cancer by using lasers. And was serious.
In my math lab for calculus, we were given the assignment to work an
equation with a tangent in it over a certain period. We'd been
studying the algebraic transforms, and everyone else was handing in
their papers while I was still plugging away at the problem. Turns
out I was the only one (including the TA!) who bothered to graph the
tangent over that area, realized it was discontinuous and asymptotic,
and thus the algebraic transform wouldn't apply.
Rebecca
>>Heh. My 5th grade gym tacher claimed that all of us were Homo erectus
>>because we stood on two feet each - he said this when supervising lunch,
>>not in class, though.
>And hopefully, for his sake, not in Kansas, either.
True. But kids in every state, boys at least, could have hours
of fun with the phrase "homo erectus."
Reminds me of the "Friends" episode where Ross has to go into
the museum to fix the homo sapiens display.
JOEY: Hey, what if homo sapiens really were HOMO sapiens? Is
that why they're extinct?
ROSS: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
JOEY: I'm not judging!
Pete
Why do I get the feeling that wasn't the only reason he made that
claim?
he said this when supervising lunch,
>not in class, though.
Dorothy J. Heydt
Albany, California
djh...@kithrup.com
>I had a high school English teacher (US) spend one class ranting about how
>the US Government was causing cancer by using lasers. And was serious.
Was this in the early eighties? There was some research
into the possible carcinogenic effects of various kinds
of lasers but AFAIK all (at least the ones used for surgery
anyway) don't do that. "The government" was probably not
doing the research but they most likely paid for part of it.
With some lasers, though, if you break the thing open and
get someone to inhale the dye vapor, then you might have a
chance. Of them getting cancer. But that would be kind of
ridiculous to do.
--
Chimes peal joy. Bah. Joseph Michael Bay
Icy colon barge Cancer Biology
Frosty divine Saturn Stanford University
By reading this line you agree to mow my lawn. NO GIVEBACKS.
Fascinating - were they in deliberate disagreement with the
chuch or was is ignorance?
>
> ObSF: I've noticed that there's not just an atheistic streak in some
> fiction these days, but an anti-God streak. Books like The Am,ber Spyglass
> and Towing Jehovah posit the existence of "God" and then whack the
> sumbitch.
> --
> An experiment in publishing:
> http://www.ethshar.com/thesprigganexperiment0.html
> The All-New, All-Different Howling Curmudgeons!
> http://www.whiterose.org/howlingcurmudgeons
See also Ellison, Harlen. I don't know if you see it
as aggressive, but these books resonate with me because
I find the idea of God distinctly unsettling. If I wasn't
an atheist, I think I'd spend all day under the covers,
shivering in terror.
--
turnip
But both real and fictional goblets exist in that sense (along with
some that straddle the boundary), and goblins can certainly drink
from the latter. (Could Indiana Jones drink from the Holy Grail?)
> > ObSF: I've noticed that there's not just an atheistic streak in some
> > fiction these days, but an anti-God streak. Books like The Am,ber
> > Spyglass and Towing Jehovah posit the existence of "God" and then whack
> > the sumbitch.
>
> See also Ellison, Harlen. I don't know if you see it as aggressive, but
> these books resonate with me because I find the idea of God distinctly
> unsettling. If I wasn't an atheist, I think I'd spend all day under the
> covers, shivering in terror.
What was it the old Barrayaran emperor said about atheism being a
comforting philosophy for an old man?
Don't they use it in a sentence to avoid exactly that?
--
Konrad Gaertner - - - - - - - - - - - email: gae...@aol.com
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kgbooklog/
Nobody, not even a goblin, can drink from a fictional goblet.
> (Could Indiana Jones drink from the Holy Grail?)
If he existed, yes. But ask "Can Indiana Jones drink from the Holy Grail?"
and the answer's "No."
--
Mark.
> ObSF: I've noticed that there's not just an atheistic streak in some
> fiction these days, but an anti-God streak. Books like The Am,ber Spyglass
> and Towing Jehovah posit the existence of "God" and then whack the
> sumbitch.
_The Jehovah Contract_ by Victor Koman is another interesting book along these
lines. The main character is a private detective with a side business in
assassination. One day Satan walks into his office with a job request: he wants
his brother (i.e., The Big Guy) assassinated.
And yet, "Every goblin drinks from the Holy Grail" is a true
statement.
--
Bill Snyder [This space unintentionally left blank.]
I'd have been sorely tempted to blurt out "Speak for
yourself, Coach," which would likely have had painful
consequences.
Jujitsu? ;)
--
`I lost interest in "blade servers" when I found they didn't throw knives
at people who weren't supposed to be in your machine room.'
--- Anthony de Boer
"Hell is other children." -- little JP, age 7
--
Tim McDaniel, tm...@panix.com
Mixed vibes, because you're equivocating on "goblet." Unless it is made
clear that the drinking vessel exists in the fictional realm of goblins,
the teacher's interpretation should prevail. A goblet is a real world
object, and a goblin is not.
I think they use it in a sentence to provide context for the speller that
a dry definition might not. But "scaffle" was never going to get me to
think "scaffold", even if they'd shown me a picture of one.
What I'm saying is, yeah, most people could have figured it out, but they
still screwed me.
Indeed. If my mind was suddenly thrown back in time to 1978 and I
woke up in my 9yo body, I would interact with my "peers" *very*
differently, and one of them would be the skill and will to use
carefully targetted violence.
--
Mark Atwood When you do things right, people won't be sure
m...@mark.atwood.name you've done anything at all.
http://mark.atwood.name/ http://www.livejournal.com/users/fallenpegasus
Ignorance, I hope. If I had wandered into a Ken Russell movies, they'd
have been more attractive.
>
>
>>
>> ObSF: I've noticed that there's not just an atheistic streak in some
>> fiction these days, but an anti-God streak. Books like The Am,ber Spyglass
>> and Towing Jehovah posit the existence of "God" and then whack the
>> sumbitch.
>> --
>> An experiment in publishing:
>> http://www.ethshar.com/thesprigganexperiment0.html
>> The All-New, All-Different Howling Curmudgeons!
>> http://www.whiterose.org/howlingcurmudgeons
>
>See also Ellison, Harlen. I don't know if you see it
>as aggressive, but these books resonate with me because
>I find the idea of God distinctly unsettling. If I wasn't
>an atheist, I think I'd spend all day under the covers,
>shivering in terror.
The books don't bother me because, like "The Second Coming" they sort of
indicate to me that atheists don't have a very sophisticated
understanding of religion or theology. Remember, the most
Russell(Bertrand Russell, in his debates with Copleston.) was willing to
commit to was agnosticism.
>Jujitsu? ;)
Lottery numbers come to mind, though it'd help if you knew in advance
you were going back in time. Superbowl/World Series/Whatever
winners would be easier to remember for most people, even non-
sports fans.
The various stuff you've learned over the years would theoretically
make it easier to do well in school. Remembering what the teachers
and other kids were like would make things easier, too.
I don't claim to understand women all that well even now, but I
sure as hell understand them better than I did as a teen.
But yeah, violence would definitely be an option.
Pete
> Nix <nix-ra...@esperi.org.uk> wrote:
> >On Wed, 29 Jun 2005, Sea Wasp spake:
> >> I was the guy who won in that arena. THAT part of childhood I
> >> didn't mind. It was the other KIDS.
> >>
> >> If I could be a kid again, but knowing what I know now, I
> >> might. It certainly wouldn't be as bad.
>
> >Jujitsu? ;)
>
> Lottery numbers come to mind, though it'd help if you knew in advance
> you were going back in time. Superbowl/World Series/Whatever
> winners would be easier to remember for most people, even non-
> sports fans.
Stocks should be the easiest, assuming you're willing to wait. Just
knowing the names of the right companies could easily make you a
billionaire, given twenty years or so.
Except, of course, that if you go back and buy microsoft stock, that
cash flow will allow Gates to pursue expensive hobbies, so D.R. will
get the contract instead.
Similar things apply to lottery numbers, sports outcomes, and so on and on.
You might be able to make broad technical-prediction type plays
in the market, though. But just carrying back an almanac with
winning lottery/stock/game choices just isn't going to work.
(IMO, and for suitably nerdlike meanings for "isn't going to".)
One of the many flaws in the BTTF series, fwiw.
Wayne Throop thr...@sheol.org http://sheol.org/throopw
I have no particular training in that. But with 43 years instead
of 9 to draw on, I would have lots more strategy. Not to mention the
ability to appear to be a supergenius. Oh, and know what work to do to
NOT get me in trouble eventually.
--
Sea Wasp
/^\
;;;
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/seawasp/
Well, I graduated in 1981 so we're in the ballpark. But, no. This wasn't
"Lasers are dangerous and the government is studying it to find out how
dangerous." This was "The government is giving its citizens cancer by
zapping them with lasers!!!" Near the end of the class I asker her how a
beam of light could cause cancer. She just stared blankly at me for a full
minute, then went off on something completely different.
(To further flesh out your mental picture of this woman, her son was
suspended from (a different) high school for wearing a button she had given
him. It said "Fuck the draft". And she included a note in my report card
explaining that I got a D- because she felt she couldn't flunk the only
student in the class who knew how to run the projector.)
--
"I reject your reality and substitute my own."
"Now, quack, damn you!"
Multiversal Mercenaries
You name it, we kill it. Any time, any reality.
>mch...@panix.com (Michael Alan Chary) wrote in
>news:da10ni$k41$1...@reader1.panix.com:
>>...
>> Well, no, because goblins can't do that stuff. They aren't
>> unreal. They exist, but as concepts rather than physically
>> reified entities. They can no more drink from goblets than
>> communism can.
>
>But both real and fictional goblets exist in that sense (along with
>some that straddle the boundary), and goblins can certainly drink
>from the latter. (Could Indiana Jones drink from the Holy Grail?)
>
I must admit, that was my thought. We write stories about goblins, we
write stories about goblins drinking from goblets, both are equally
unreal, so yes, they can.
Rebecca
>In article <Xns968585365D3D...@130.133.1.4>,
>Michael S. Schiffer <msch...@condor.depaul.edu> wrote:
>>mch...@panix.com (Michael Alan Chary) wrote in
>>news:da10ni$k41$1...@reader1.panix.com:
>>>...
>>> Well, no, because goblins can't do that stuff. They aren't
>>> unreal. They exist, but as concepts rather than physically
>>> reified entities. They can no more drink from goblets than
>>> communism can.
>>
>>But both real and fictional goblets exist in that sense (along with
>>some that straddle the boundary), and goblins can certainly drink
>>from the latter. (Could Indiana Jones drink from the Holy Grail?)
>>
>
>Mixed vibes, because you're equivocating on "goblet." Unless it is made
>clear that the drinking vessel exists in the fictional realm of goblins,
>the teacher's interpretation should prevail. A goblet is a real world
>object, and a goblin is not.
So, just out of curiosity, how real does something have to be in
order to be real? Ask people back in the 12th century whether goblins
were real, and they would say yes. Could they drink out of goblets
back then? And can witches ride switches today?
Rebecca
It looks to me like the question was misleading and deceptive. Claiming
that goblins "don't exist" is wrong. They exist, but in a different
form from real-world objects. They "exist" in the imagination or in
fiction. But the act of "drinking" and the object "goblet" are capable
of existing both in fiction and imagination AND in the real world (and,
arguably, so are goblins, though they may not PRESENTLY exist in the
real-world, or have simply not been proven to exist in the real-world
yet).
So, without specifying the nature of the existence, individually, of
"goblin", "drinking" and "goblet", regarding what form their existence
takes, a listener would assume that they all exist together in the
same realm... a fictional goblin fictionally drinking from a fictional
goblet. It was the responsibility of the question to specify what
type of existence each held, and it didn't.
>Peter Meilinger <mell...@bu.edu> wrote:
>
>> Lottery numbers come to mind, though it'd help if you knew in advance
>> you were going back in time. Superbowl/World Series/Whatever
>> winners would be easier to remember for most people, even non-
>> sports fans.
>
>Stocks should be the easiest, assuming you're willing to wait. Just
>knowing the names of the right companies could easily make you a
>billionaire, given twenty years or so.
Hell, just knowing when the bubble's going to burst would probably
suffice.
--Craig
--
"Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever." - The Replacements
Craig Richardson (crichar...@worldnet.att.net)