"Animal", by Carol Emshwiller
Michael Stemper
is "Animal" and it was written by Carol Emshwiller. First publication in
_Orbit 4_.
It opens with the village hunters capturing an animal, and returning with
it suspended from a pole. The villagers lock it in a cave in a park, so
that everybody can see it.
Then, hints start dropping about the nature of the titular animal. By
the time that it escapes, and is recaptured in a diner in distant city,
"eating French Fries and smoking Marlboros," it's pretty much impossible
to ignore the fact that this animal is the same type of animal as at
least 80% of the participants in rasw. [1]
A story like this is obviously (I hope) SF. It must have had some effect
on me, or I wouldn't be bothering to ask about it. None the less, I have
to ask: what's the point of this story? I just didn't get it on any level.
[1] On Usenet, nobody knows you're a dog.
--
Michael F. Stemper
Build a man a fire, and you warm him for a day. Set him on fire,
and you warm him for a lifetime.
Mike Schilling
"Michael Stemper" <mste...@walkabout.empros.com> wrote in message
news:g40k7f$293$1...@aioe.org...
>I happened across a rather strange little story last weekend. Its title
> is "Animal" and it was written by Carol Emshwiller. First publication in
> _Orbit 4_.
>
> It opens with the village hunters capturing an animal, and returning with
> it suspended from a pole. The villagers lock it in a cave in a park, so
> that everybody can see it.
>
> Then, hints start dropping about the nature of the titular animal. By
> the time that it escapes, and is recaptured in a diner in distant city,
> "eating French Fries and smoking Marlboros," it's pretty much impossible
> to ignore the fact that this animal is the same type of animal as at
> least 80% of the participants in rasw. [1]
>
> A story like this is obviously (I hope) SF. It must have had some effect
> on me, or I wouldn't be bothering to ask about it. None the less, I have
> to ask: what's the point of this story? I just didn't get it on any level.
>
>
> [1] On Usenet, nobody knows you're a dog.
From your description, it sounds like Asimov's "Youth", where two Tom
Sawyerish kids run across some possibly dangerous aliens, and after some
anxious moments everything turns out OK: the kids are safe, the aliens are
friendly, the two species learn to communicate, God's in his heaven and
all's right with the world. Then we learn that the "aliens" are (surprise
ending!).
Could the point be as simple as that?
Dorothy J Heydt
I don't recognize that one. But now I'm reminded of the (was it
Hal Clement?) story where the aliens scout Earth preparatory for
invasion, and they meet a couple of kids (in Alaska, IIRC) with
their cute cuddly pet, and they message home, Call off the
invasion! Because nobody wants to mess with a species whose
young make pets of ....
[spoiler, for them as cares]
...wolverines.
Dorothy J. Heydt
Vallejo, California
djh...@kithrup.com
Michael Stemper
>"Michael Stemper" <mste...@walkabout.empros.com> wrote in message news:g40k7f$293$1...@aioe.org...
>>I happened across a rather strange little story last weekend. Its title
>> is "Animal" and it was written by Carol Emshwiller.
>> It opens with the village hunters capturing an animal, and returning with
>> it suspended from a pole.
>> Then, hints start dropping about the nature of the titular animal. By
>> the time that it escapes, and is recaptured in a diner in distant city,
>> "eating French Fries and smoking Marlboros," it's pretty much impossible
>> to ignore the fact that this animal is the same type of animal as at
>> least 80% of the participants in rasw. [1]
>> A story like this is obviously (I hope) SF. It must have had some effect
>> on me, or I wouldn't be bothering to ask about it. None the less, I have
>> to ask: what's the point of this story? I just didn't get it on any level.
>From your description, it sounds like Asimov's "Youth", where two Tom
>Sawyerish kids run across some possibly dangerous aliens, and after some
>anxious moments everything turns out OK: the kids are safe, the aliens are
>friendly, the two species learn to communicate, God's in his heaven and
>all's right with the world. Then we learn that the "aliens" are (surprise
>ending!).
>
>Could the point be as simple as that?
Nah, it wasn't a twist ending. The reader knows for at least two-thirds
of the story that the "animal" is a human.
--
Michael F. Stemper
#include <Standard_Disclaimer>
Always use apostrophe's and "quotation marks" properly.
Michael Stemper
>In article <sbR8k.6329$L_....@flpi150.ffdc.sbc.com>, Mike Schilling <mscotts...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>From your description, it sounds like Asimov's "Youth", where two Tom
>>Sawyerish kids run across some possibly dangerous aliens, and after some
>>anxious moments everything turns out OK: the kids are safe, the aliens are
>>friendly, the two species learn to communicate, God's in his heaven and
>>all's right with the world. Then we learn that the "aliens" are (surprise
>>ending!).
>I don't recognize that one. But now I'm reminded of the (was it
>Hal Clement?) story where the aliens scout Earth preparatory for
>invasion, and they meet a couple of kids (in Alaska, IIRC) with
>their cute cuddly pet, and they message home, Call off the
>invasion! Because nobody wants to mess with a species whose
>young make pets of ....
I believe that you're thinking of "Random Sample" by T. P. Caravan.
--
Michael F. Stemper
Butch Malahide
wrote:
> In article <K333K9....@kithrup.com>, djhe...@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) writes:
> >I don't recognize that one. But now I'm reminded of the (was it
> >Hal Clement?) story where the aliens scout Earth preparatory for
> >invasion, and they meet a couple of kids (in Alaska, IIRC) with
> >their cute cuddly pet, and they message home, Call off the
> >invasion! Because nobody wants to mess with a species whose
> >young make pets of ....
>
> I believe that you're thinking of "Random Sample" by T. P. Caravan.
Nope. I've read the story Dorothy J Heydt is talking about, can't
remember the author or title of that one, but it's *not* "Random
Sample" by T. P. Caravan. The latter is the story about alien visitors
who meet a couple of mean brats and are so shocked by their behavior
(e.g. burning ants) that they nova our sun. What hypocrites.
Dorothy J Heydt
I remember that one too, and you're right, it's not the same.
Gene
> I remember that one too, and you're right, it's not the same.
What's really strange is that we had a successful YASID on this a while back.
Butch Malahide
> djhe...@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) wrote innews:K33J4...@kithrup.com:
>
> > I remember that one too, and you're right, it's not the same.
>
> What's really strange is that we had a successful YASID on this a while back.
In that case, Google makes it easy. The "pet wolverine" story was the
subject of a YASID inquiry by Dorothy J. Heydt in January of 2004, and
it was identified by Mike Van Pelt as "The Easy Way Out" by "Lee
Correy" = G. Harry Stine.
William December Starr
mste...@siemens-emis.com said:
>> "Michael Stemper" <mste...@walkabout.empros.com> wrote in
>> message news:g40k7f$293$1...@aioe.org...
>
>>> Then, hints start dropping about the nature of the titular
>>> animal. By the time that it escapes, and is recaptured in a
>>> diner in distant city, "eating French Fries and smoking
>>> Marlboros," it's pretty much impossible to ignore the fact that
>>> this animal is the same type of animal as at least 80% of the
>>> participants in rasw. [1]
[ ... ]
> Nah, it wasn't a twist ending. The reader knows for at least
> two-thirds of the story that the "animal" is a human.
And its once and future captors are doing _what_ invading
french-fry-serving diners in distant cities and abducting customers?
--
William December Starr <wds...@panix.com>
Mike Van Pelt
Dorothy J Heydt <djh...@kithrup.com> wrote:
>I don't recognize that one. But now I'm reminded of the
>(was it Hal Clement?) story where the aliens scout Earth
>preparatory for invasion, and they meet a couple of kids
>(in Alaska, IIRC) with their cute cuddly pet, and they
>message home, Call off the invasion! Because nobody wants
>to mess with a species whose young make pets of ....
Oh, yeah.
"The Easy Way Out", by G. Harry Stine, a.k.a Lee Corey.
"It was entirely unexpected, Captain, the creature must
have an unreasonably high Ferocity Index."
--
Mike Van Pelt | Wikipedia. The roulette wheel of knowledge.
mvp at calweb.com | --Blair P. Houghton
KE6BVH
Butch Malahide
> In article <K333K9....@kithrup.com>,
>
> >I don't recognize that one. But now I'm reminded of the
> >(was it Hal Clement?) story where the aliens scout Earth
> >preparatory for invasion, and they meet a couple of kids
> >(in Alaska, IIRC) with their cute cuddly pet, and they
> >message home, Call off the invasion! Because nobody wants
> >to mess with a species whose young make pets of ....
>
> Oh, yeah.
>
> "The Easy Way Out", by G. Harry Stine, a.k.a Lee Corey.
This one keeps coming back.
Sept. 1996: asked by David & Janice Hodghead, answered by Steve
Patterson
Feb. 2003: asked by Neil Riedel, answered by Colin Campbell
Jan. 2004: asked by Dorothy J. Heydt, answered by Mike Van Pelt
Dec. 2004: asked by Gene Ward Smith, answered by MVP
Nov. 2006: asked by Jack Tingle, answered by Lee K. Gleason who
googled the 2003 thread
June 2008: asked by DJH, answered by MVP
Dorothy J Heydt
Thank you! I should probably bookmark that or something.
Robert A. Woodward
m...@web1.calweb.com (Mike Van Pelt) wrote:
> In article <K333K...@kithrup.com>,
> Dorothy J Heydt <djh...@kithrup.com> wrote:
> >I don't recognize that one. But now I'm reminded of the
> >(was it Hal Clement?) story where the aliens scout Earth
> >preparatory for invasion, and they meet a couple of kids
> >(in Alaska, IIRC) with their cute cuddly pet, and they
> >message home, Call off the invasion! Because nobody wants
> >to mess with a species whose young make pets of ....
>
> Oh, yeah.
>
> "The Easy Way Out", by G. Harry Stine, a.k.a Lee Corey.
>
> "It was entirely unexpected, Captain, the creature must
> have an unreasonably high Ferocity Index."
Wasn't that a report on the first Grizzly bear they encountered?
(then they saw <spoiler> drive another Grizzly away from its kill
and then saw <spoiler> mooch some goodies off of some children,
after which, they ran away, far away).
--
Robert Woodward <robe...@drizzle.com>
<http://www.drizzle.com/~robertaw>
Michael Stemper
>On Jun 26, 4:36=A0pm, mstem...@walkabout.empros.com (Michael Stemper) wrote:
>> In article <K333K9....@kithrup.com>, djhe...@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) writes:
>> >Hal Clement?) story where the aliens scout Earth preparatory for
>> >invasion, and they meet a couple of kids (in Alaska, IIRC) with
>> >their cute cuddly pet, and they message home, Call off the
>> >young make pets of ....
>>
>> I believe that you're thinking of "Random Sample" by T. P. Caravan.
>
>Nope. I've read the story Dorothy J Heydt is talking about, can't
>remember the author or title of that one, but it's *not* "Random
>Sample" by T. P. Caravan.
Yeah, I found that for myself when I got home. Wrong "alien invaders
scared by kids" story. I couldn't find the right one, either. I would
have sworn that it was in _Fifty Great Short SF Stories_, but I was wrong.
>(e.g. burning ants) that they nova our sun. What hypocrites.
Hardly. "Sauce for the goose," and all that.
--
Michael F. Stemper
Why doesn't anybody care about apathy?
Dorothy J Heydt
That sounds vaguely familiar and may indeed be part of the plot.
What I mostly remember is the ran far, far away part.
Jack Tingle
That was the sequence, plus one of the aliens was squashed by the
grizzly, which impressed them, since the alien was wearing armor at the
time. The explorers were also impressed when they realized the children
were _children_, and they decided adults might be more than they wanted
to fool with.
The <spoiler> and the explorers made the same judgment. And you know, I
don't fault the explorers for retreating. As they said, "There are
easier places to conquer."
One of my favorite stories, and probably Stine's best single work.
Regards,
Jack Tingle
Michael Stemper
>In article <4864578a$0$21807$d36...@news.calweb.com>, m...@web1.calweb.com (Mike Van Pelt) wrote:
>> In article <K333K...@kithrup.com>, Dorothy J Heydt <djh...@kithrup.com> wrote:
>> >preparatory for invasion, and they meet a couple of kids
>> >(in Alaska, IIRC) with their cute cuddly pet, and they
>> >message home, Call off the invasion! Because nobody wants
>> >to mess with a species whose young make pets of ....
>> "The Easy Way Out", by G. Harry Stine, a.k.a Lee Corey.
>>
>> "It was entirely unexpected, Captain, the creature must
>> have an unreasonably high Ferocity Index."
>
>Wasn't that a report on the first Grizzly bear they encountered?
>(then they saw <spoiler> drive another Grizzly away from its kill
>and then saw <spoiler> mooch some goodies off of some children,
It was more than that. The kids literally whopped <spoiler> upside the
head for having mis-behaved. In response, it groveled, seeking forgiveness.
>after which, they ran away, far away).
--
Michael F. Stemper
Indians scattered on dawn's highway bleeding;
Ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind.
Bryan Derksen
But also "judge not lest ye be judged." There could have been bigger
aliens waiting in the wings to toast their galactic empire after they
novaed Sol.
Oddly enough, I can't think of any examples of this sort of thing
offhand. Seems like it'd be a classic "turnabout" sort of idea.
Mike Van Pelt
Butch Malahide <fred....@gmail.com> wrote:
>On Jun 26, 9:59 pm, m...@web1.calweb.com (Mike Van Pelt) wrote:
>> "The Easy Way Out", by G. Harry Stine, a.k.a Lee Corey.
>
>This one keeps coming back.
[list of times it's turned up in YASID threads]
Yeah... Probably because it's a very memorable story, by
someone who didn't write a huge number of stories, that
hasn't been anthologized a whole lot.
I though I knew who had written it - someone other than
Stine - until I checked in my Analog anthology after it
came up in 2004.
You know, there are a whole bunch of really great classic
stories like this that younger readers may never have
seen. Someone ought to do an anthology of the really
good stuff that hasn't been over-anthologized.
John Schilling
<robe...@drizzle.com> wrote:
>In article <4864578a$0$21807$d36...@news.calweb.com>,
> m...@web1.calweb.com (Mike Van Pelt) wrote:
>
>> In article <K333K...@kithrup.com>,
>> Dorothy J Heydt <djh...@kithrup.com> wrote:
>> >I don't recognize that one. But now I'm reminded of the
>> >(was it Hal Clement?) story where the aliens scout Earth
>> >preparatory for invasion, and they meet a couple of kids
>> >(in Alaska, IIRC) with their cute cuddly pet, and they
>> >message home, Call off the invasion! Because nobody wants
>> >to mess with a species whose young make pets of ....
>>
>> Oh, yeah.
>>
>> "The Easy Way Out", by G. Harry Stine, a.k.a Lee Corey.
>>
>> "It was entirely unexpected, Captain, the creature must
>> have an unreasonably high Ferocity Index."
>
>Wasn't that a report on the first Grizzly bear they encountered?
>(then they saw <spoiler> drive another Grizzly away from its kill
Oh, you mean this one?
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/06/060613-cat-bear.html
Yeah, I'd recommend against invading any planet occupied by those
critters and their pets. Unreasonably high Ferocity Index, indeed.
--
*John Schilling * "Anything worth doing, *
*Member:AIAA,NRA,ACLU,SAS,LP * is worth doing for money" *
*Chief Scientist & General Partner * -13th Rule of Acquisition *
*White Elephant Research, LLC * "There is no substitute *
*John.S...@alumni.usc.edu * for success" *
*661-718-0955 or 661-275-6795 * -58th Rule of Acquisition *
Michael Stemper
Well, this story was a turnabout. We (as exemplified by the brats)
burned ants. Then, the aliens burned us.
I suppose that you could go for a Dickian cascade, where somebody more
powerful burns the aliens, and then somebody burns the alien-burners,
ad infinitum. After the levels mount too high, the story ends with a
flashback, showing the ants having burned something smaller than them --
as punishment for cruel behavior.
That'd work.
--
Michael F. Stemper
#include <Standard_Disclaimer>
Butch Malahide
wrote:
> In article <8Je9k.32885$Jx.17998@pd7urf1no>, Bryan Derksen <bryan.derk...@shaw.ca> writes:
> >Michael Stemper wrote:
> >>> (e.g. burning ants) that they nova our sun. What hypocrites.
>
> >> Hardly. "Sauce for the goose," and all that.
>
> >But also "judge not lest ye be judged." There could have been bigger
> >aliens waiting in the wings to toast their galactic empire after they
> >novaed Sol.
>
> >Oddly enough, I can't think of any examples of this sort of thing
> >offhand. Seems like it'd be a classic "turnabout" sort of idea.
>
> Well, this story was a turnabout. We (as exemplified by the brats)
> burned ants. Then, the aliens burned us.
Actually, I don't think the brats *burned* any ants in the story; I
think they were *stomping* ants. But that's beside the point. The
point is, the aliens didn't just burn *us*, they incidentally burned
all the ants in the world. *That's* why I call them hypocrites.
Michael Stemper
>On Jun 29, 9:03=A0pm, mstem...@walkabout.empros.com (Michael Stemper) wrote:
>> In article <8Je9k.32885$Jx.17998@pd7urf1no>, Bryan Derksen <bryan.derk...@=>shaw.ca> writes:
>> >Michael Stemper wrote:
>> >>> (e.g. burning ants) that they nova our sun. What hypocrites.
>>
>> >> Hardly. "Sauce for the goose," and all that.
>>
>> >But also "judge not lest ye be judged." There could have been bigger
>> >aliens waiting in the wings to toast their galactic empire after they
>> >novaed Sol.
>>
>> >Oddly enough, I can't think of any examples of this sort of thing
>> >offhand. Seems like it'd be a classic "turnabout" sort of idea.
>>
>> Well, this story was a turnabout. We (as exemplified by the brats)
>> burned ants. Then, the aliens burned us.
>
>Actually, I don't think the brats *burned* any ants in the story; I
>think they were *stomping* ants.
I seem to recall that they'd been using a magnifying glass. In fact, I
think that, when the burning of the earth started, there was even a
bit of description that implied that the aliens were focusing the sun
on us. (Thorndyke would be proud!)
> But that's beside the point. The
>point is, the aliens didn't just burn *us*, they incidentally burned
>all the ants in the world. *That's* why I call them hypocrites.
Okay, I'll give you that. The aliens were just a cruel and capricious
as the brats.
--
Michael F. Stemper
Life's too important to take seriously.
Tim McDaniel
Bryan Derksen <bryan....@shaw.ca> wrote:
>Michael Stemper wrote:
>> In article
>> <dcebbadc-3b16-41aa...@b1g2000hsg.googlegroups.com>,
>> Butch Malahide <fred....@gmail.com> writes:
>>> (e.g. burning ants) that they nova our sun. What hypocrites.
>>
>> Hardly. "Sauce for the goose," and all that.
>
>But also "judge not lest ye be judged." There could have been bigger
>aliens waiting in the wings to toast their galactic empire after they
>novaed Sol.
>
>Oddly enough, I can't think of any examples of this sort of thing
>offhand. Seems like it'd be a classic "turnabout" sort of idea.
It reminds me of three stories -- but there weren't 4 layers (ants <
humans < aliens < meta-aliens) but just 3 (others < humans < aliens or
humans < alien < meta-alien), which is less interesting. YASID for
these, please? Spoilers to come ...
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
One, probably in the _Galactic Empires_ anthology: the first human
expedition to Mars claims it for all humanity, despite the Martian
natives gathering from every point of the compass (they are attracted
to the heat of the rocket drives used for landing). The humans think
that they are under attack, panic, and slaughter the natives. Back on
Earth, the astronauts are at a ceremony lionizing them as heroes, when
an alien materializes in the center, unrolls a document, and starts
chanting something that humans begin to recognize is a claim to Earth.
(Maybe this is "We're Civilized" by Mark Clifton and Alex
Apostolides?)
Two: I'm thinking it might be by Clarke and in a Clarke anthology. An
alien lands on Earth to say that there's been a treaty negotiated by
two bordering empires, where the Graf that Earth is in is being
transferred to another empire. Unfortunately for us, while the old
empire was fine with letting us develop unmolested, the new empire
would not -- they were going to exploit us. After the turmoil of the
reaction, the envoy points out human imperialism. At the end, the
envoy also mentions that, while he's not prejudiced, the new Graf is,
and do we have any green people, or at least blue?
Three: I'm thinking a Zelazny short-short. A massive space creature
comes by, pops the Earth into his mouth, and chews, thinking it's
pretty tasty. Then a much more massive space creature grabs the first
by the scruff of his neck and pops him into his mouth.
--
Tim McDaniel, tm...@panix.com
Konrad Gaertner
>
> Three: I'm thinking a Zelazny short-short. A massive space creature
> comes by, pops the Earth into his mouth, and chews, thinking it's
> pretty tasty. Then a much more massive space creature grabs the first
> by the scruff of his neck and pops him into his mouth.
Martin Gardner, "Thang"
--
Konrad Gaertner - - - - - - - - - - - - email: kgae...@tx.rr.com
http://kgbooklog.livejournal.com/
"I don't mind hidden depths but I insist that there be a surface."
-- James Nicoll
TechDock
"Tim McDaniel" <tm...@panix.com> wrote in message
news:g4gnfn$mf2$1...@reader1.panix.com...
> In article <8Je9k.32885$Jx.17998@pd7urf1no>,
<snip>
> Tim McDaniel, tm...@panix.com
And a glance at my copy of Galactic Empires shows it is indeed "We're
Civilized!" by Clifton and Apostolides.
- TechDock
Anthony Nance
> alien lands on Earth to say that there's been a treaty negotiated by
> two bordering empires, where the Graf that Earth is in is being
> transferred to another empire. Unfortunately for us, while the old
> empire was fine with letting us develop unmolested, the new empire
> would not -- they were going to exploit us. After the turmoil of the
> reaction, the envoy points out human imperialism. At the end, the
> envoy also mentions that, while he's not prejudiced, the new Graf is,
> and do we have any green people, or at least blue?
With your #1 and #3 answered, and knowing Clarke stories sort of well,
I was hoping to answer your #2. However, it rings no bells, and nothing
turned up from having thumbed rather thoroughly through The Collected
Stories of ACC. ("Reunion" is kind of sort of in the same ballpark if you
squint really really hard....) I'd be interested in hearing what Clarke
story this is if you ever figure it out.
Tony
Dan Goodman
My memory says this was by Mack Reynolds, but none of the titles at
imbd.org ring a bell.
--
Dan Goodman
"I have always depended on the kindness of stranglers."
Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Expire
Journal http://dsgood.livejournal.com
Futures http://clerkfuturist.wordpress.com
mirror 1: http://dsgood.insanejournal.com
mirror 2: http://dsgood.wordpress.com
Links http://del.icio.us/dsgood
David DeLaney
>Three: I'm thinking a Zelazny short-short. A massive space creature
>comes by, pops the Earth into his mouth, and chews, thinking it's
>pretty tasty. Then a much more massive space creature grabs the first
>by the scruff of his neck and pops him into his mouth.
Mmmm - Dunsany, not Zelazny, surely? <... ...> Okay, definitely not Dunsany.
I know I've read the story, so might be Zelazny after all...
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
ncw...@hotmail.com
wrote:
> "Michael Stemper" <mstem...@walkabout.empros.com> wrote in message
>
> news:g40k7f$293$1...@aioe.org...
>
>
>
>
>
> >I happened across a rather strange little story last weekend. Its title
> > is "Animal" and it was written by Carol Emshwiller. First publication in
> > _Orbit 4_.
>
> > It opens with the village hunters capturing an animal, and returning with
> > it suspended from a pole. The villagers lock it in a cave in a park, so
> > that everybody can see it.
>
> > Then, hints start dropping about the nature of the titular animal. By
> > the time that it escapes, and is recaptured in a diner in distant city,
> > "eating French Fries and smoking Marlboros," it's pretty much impossible
> > to ignore the fact that this animal is the same type of animal as at
> > least 80% of the participants in rasw. [1]
>
> > on me, or I wouldn't be bothering to ask about it. None the less, I have
> > to ask: what's the point of this story? I just didn't get it on any level.
>
> > [1] On Usenet, nobody knows you're a dog.
>
> From your description, it sounds like Asimov's "Youth", where two Tom
> Sawyerish kids run across some possibly dangerous aliens, and after some
> anxious moments everything turns out OK: the kids are safe, the aliens are
> friendly, the two species learn to communicate, God's in his heaven and
> all's right with the world. Then we learn that the "aliens" are (surprise
> ending!).
>
The ending isn't such a surprise if you read this story in the
collection _The Martian Way and other stories_ . The cover blurb
tells you exactly what the ending is.
Cheers,
Nigel.
Rich Horton
["Youth"]
>The ending isn't such a surprise if you read this story in the
>collection _The Martian Way and other stories_ . The cover blurb
>tells you exactly what the ending is.
As does the illustration in the original magazine appearance.
Tim McDaniel
Turns out I should have gone with my first impression, which was that
it was also in Galactic Empires.
>My memory says this was by Mack Reynolds, but none of the titles at
>imbd.org ring a bell.
Good memory! It IS Mack Reynolds, "Down the River", in Galactic
Empires, volume TWO, the lead story in the section "The Other End of
the Stick".
Spoiler synopsis ...
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Graff is actually the job title of the governor of a stellar system.
The outgoing Graff reveals the presence of the aliens (to the shock of
the world) and sets up a meeting with the world's leaders in a month's
time.
The old Graff been recalled and Wharis will be sending a new Graff,
because the Gabon of Cathis has deeded the Solar System to the Gabon
of Wharis in return for certain considerations among the Aldebaran
planets. As I noted, after the objections, he asks the US President
about the Louisiana Purchase, Lord Harricraft about the British
Empire, and Perre Bart about North Africa.
The Frenchman sputtered. "But these were backward barbarians!
Our assuming government over the area was to their benefit and to
the benefit of the world as a whole."
The Graff shrugged sadly. "I am afraid that that is exactly the
story you will hear from your new Graff Belde Kelden Forty-eight
L."
The hall rises up in turmoil and calls for revolt, but the outgoing
Graff says that Wharis and the new Graff have reputations for
ruthlessness, and if they revolt, some will be slaughtered, and the
remainder transported to other less-desirable planets to live as best
they can, which under the Gabon of Wharis is often impossible.
The President pleads for any help or advice. The outgoing Graff says
that his hands are tied, but
"However -- well, don't you have any races on this planet with a
green complexion? Graff Belde Kelden Forty-eight L is known to be
extremely prejudiced against races of different colors. If you
had some green representatives to meet him --"
The President stared at him dumbly.
The Graff was distressed. "You mean that you have no races at all
on Earth of green complexion? Or, at very least, blue?"
--
Tim McDaniel, tm...@panix.com
Lawrence Watt-Evans
wrote:
>Graff is actually the job title of the governor of a stellar system.
"Graf" is German for "earl."
--
My webpage is at http://www.watt-evans.com
The ninth issue of the Hugo-nominated webzine Helix
is now at http://www.helixsf.com
Bill Snyder
<l...@sff.net> wrote:
>On Thu, 3 Jul 2008 15:14:56 +0000 (UTC), tm...@panix.com (Tim McDaniel)
>wrote:
>
>>Graff is actually the job title of the governor of a stellar system.
>
>"Graf" is German for "earl."
Well, per the British system; it translates as "count" where that
rank exists. (And if Wikipedia is to be believed, even in Britain
an earl's wife is called a countess.)
--
Bill Snyder [This space unintentionally left blank]
Lawrence Watt-Evans
wrote:
>On Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:51:23 -0400, Lawrence Watt-Evans
><l...@sff.net> wrote:
>
>>On Thu, 3 Jul 2008 15:14:56 +0000 (UTC), tm...@panix.com (Tim McDaniel)
>>wrote:
>>
>>>Graff is actually the job title of the governor of a stellar system.
>>
>>"Graf" is German for "earl."
>
>Well, per the British system; it translates as "count" where that
>rank exists.
Yes, but "count" is too prone to puns, so I went with "earl."
> (And if Wikipedia is to be believed, even in Britain
>an earl's wife is called a countess.)
Yup.
Anthony Nance
Neat - I just found both volumes of GE a couple weeks ago, and
I'm looking forward to reading the unfamiliar stories soon.
Tony
David DeLaney
>Bill Snyder <bsn...@airmail.net> wrote:
>>Lawrence Watt-Evans <l...@sff.net> wrote:
>>>"Graf" is German for "earl."
>>
>>Well, per the British system; it translates as "count" where that
>>rank exists.
>
>Yes, but "count" is too prone to puns, so I went with "earl."
Hey, what did Ms. Bujold ever do to you?
Dave "Inspector, a la In Nomine" DeLaney
Mike Schilling
> On Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:51:23 -0400, Lawrence Watt-Evans
> <l...@sff.net> wrote:
>
>> On Thu, 3 Jul 2008 15:14:56 +0000 (UTC), tm...@panix.com (Tim
>> McDaniel) wrote:
>>
>>> Graff is actually the job title of the governor of a stellar
>>> system.
>>
>> "Graf" is German for "earl."
>
> Well, per the British system; it translates as "count" where that
> rank exists. (And if Wikipedia is to be believed, even in Britain
> an earl's wife is called a countess.)
It's true. A viscount ranks below a count; whether that makes him a
vice-count I'm not sure.
Howard Brazee
<mscotts...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Graff is actually the job title of the governor of a stellar
>>>> system.
>>>
>>> "Graf" is German for "earl."
>>
>> Well, per the British system; it translates as "count" where that
>> rank exists. (And if Wikipedia is to be believed, even in Britain
>> an earl's wife is called a countess.)
>
>It's true. A viscount ranks below a count; whether that makes him a
>vice-count I'm not sure.
So how does one sing "Duke of Earl" in German?
Andrew Plotkin
> Lawrence Watt-Evans <l...@sff.net> wrote:
> >Bill Snyder <bsn...@airmail.net> wrote:
> >>Lawrence Watt-Evans <l...@sff.net> wrote:
> >>>"Graf" is German for "earl."
> >>
> >>Well, per the British system; it translates as "count" where that
> >>rank exists.
> >
> >Yes, but "count" is too prone to puns, so I went with "earl."
>
> Hey, what did Ms. Bujold ever do to you?
For me it's what George Lucas did. I hear "Graf", I think it's short
for "Grand Moff".
(Somewhere in Bujold's universe is a planet where the aristocracy is
descended from Germanic wormhole explorers -- space-time topologists.
"So, Graph Hindenberg, ...)
--Z
--
"And Aholibamah bare Jeush, and Jaalam, and Korah: these were the borogoves..."
*
When Bush says "Stay the course," what he means is "I don't know what to
do next." He's been saying this for years now.
Tim McDaniel
Mike Schilling <mscotts...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>It's true. A viscount ranks below a count; whether that makes him a
>vice-count I'm not sure.
"viscount" is from Latin vice + comes (comes -> count).
--
Tim McDaniel, tm...@panix.com