info
Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss
An Exclusive Inside Look At 15 Upcoming Star Wars Shows
15 views
Skip to first unread message
Ubiquitous
Dec 15, 2020, 5:28:57 AM12/15/20
to
Disney announced about 7,562 new Star Wars shows yesterday. But that's
just the tip of the iceberg, as more shows are soon to follow. We at
The Babylon Bee have a Star Wars insider (we're not saying it's Gina
Carano, but we're not not saying it). We asked her -- or him, or them
-- what shows have yet to be announced, and they were able to tease
these upcoming shows. They sound amazing!
• My 3,000 Lb. Life - An inside look at the triumphs and tragedies of
being a body-positive Hutt. Touching and moving.
• Tatooine's Got Talent - Watch as talented acts like Figrin D'an and
the Modal Nodes and fan-favorite the Max Rebo Band compete until only
one is left standing.
• Better Call Maul - Follow Darth Maul's post-fall life as a seedy
lawyer clawing his way to the top of the exciting Dathomir legal world.
• 1,000 Ways for Rose Tico to Die - A real crowd-pleaser!
• Watto and the Tatooine Pawn Stars - Watch as Watto haggles people
down, refusing to take Republic credits and making people partake in
dangerous spaceship battles to make a deal. "Best I can do is three
Huttese truguts."
• Meesa Breaking Bad! - Follow Jar-Jar Binks' post-political life. Down
on his luck and without health insurance, Binks is forced to cook Death
Sticks to pay his medical bills.
• This Show Is Just Five Seasons Of Baby Yoda Doing Cute Things -
Exactly what it sounds like. Fans are pumped for this one!
• Naked and Afraid on Hoth - Two contestants are dropped off on the ice
planet without clothes or any survival gear in an extreme survival
competition. And you thought Tauntauns smelled bad on the outside!
• The Tauntaun King - Meet an eccentric exotic animal collector and his
dramatic wheelings and dealings across the galaxy. The Tauntaun King
gets more and more bizarre with each episode!
• The Great Bothan Bakeoff - Bothans bake things and compete in this
light-hearted cooking show. Many Bothans died to bring us these pies.
• How I Met Your Father - This hilarious sitcom features ghost-Padme as
she tells Luke and Leia all the wacky hijinks that led to her marrying
the evilest man in the galaxy. It's a pretty solid show but we're led
to believe the last episode will ruin the whole thing forever.
• Dirty Jobs with Darth - Follow along as Darth Vader documents the
craziest and most dangerous jobs in the galaxy, from keeping rancors
and feeding people to sarlaccs to cleaning out the trash compactor on
the Death Star.
• To Catch An SJW - Host Gina Carano entraps and then ambushes whiny
Star Wars fans on the internet and confronts them in person. "Why don't
you have a seat right over there?" she says as they drop their soy
milkshake in fear.
• The Masked Bounty Hunter - Every episode has a contest where various
bounty hunters show off their killing and capturing skills. The twist
is, they're masked, so you never know who's under there until they're
voted off! Just don't vote the Mandalorian off, because if you try to
take off his mask, well, you'll die.
• Sith Busters - This show will debunk popular Jedi myths and
investigate questions like how the heck Rey is so powerful despite
never having any formal Jedi training. Sith? Busted!
Which one are you most excited for?
--
Joe Biden went from stealing someone's wife, to stealing speeches, to
stealing money, to stealing an election.
He has really grown as a politician.
-- Michael Moore
#StopTheSteal
just the tip of the iceberg, as more shows are soon to follow. We at
The Babylon Bee have a Star Wars insider (we're not saying it's Gina
Carano, but we're not not saying it). We asked her -- or him, or them
-- what shows have yet to be announced, and they were able to tease
these upcoming shows. They sound amazing!
• My 3,000 Lb. Life - An inside look at the triumphs and tragedies of
being a body-positive Hutt. Touching and moving.
• Tatooine's Got Talent - Watch as talented acts like Figrin D'an and
the Modal Nodes and fan-favorite the Max Rebo Band compete until only
one is left standing.
• Better Call Maul - Follow Darth Maul's post-fall life as a seedy
lawyer clawing his way to the top of the exciting Dathomir legal world.
• 1,000 Ways for Rose Tico to Die - A real crowd-pleaser!
• Watto and the Tatooine Pawn Stars - Watch as Watto haggles people
down, refusing to take Republic credits and making people partake in
dangerous spaceship battles to make a deal. "Best I can do is three
Huttese truguts."
• Meesa Breaking Bad! - Follow Jar-Jar Binks' post-political life. Down
on his luck and without health insurance, Binks is forced to cook Death
Sticks to pay his medical bills.
• This Show Is Just Five Seasons Of Baby Yoda Doing Cute Things -
Exactly what it sounds like. Fans are pumped for this one!
• Naked and Afraid on Hoth - Two contestants are dropped off on the ice
planet without clothes or any survival gear in an extreme survival
competition. And you thought Tauntauns smelled bad on the outside!
• The Tauntaun King - Meet an eccentric exotic animal collector and his
dramatic wheelings and dealings across the galaxy. The Tauntaun King
gets more and more bizarre with each episode!
• The Great Bothan Bakeoff - Bothans bake things and compete in this
light-hearted cooking show. Many Bothans died to bring us these pies.
• How I Met Your Father - This hilarious sitcom features ghost-Padme as
she tells Luke and Leia all the wacky hijinks that led to her marrying
the evilest man in the galaxy. It's a pretty solid show but we're led
to believe the last episode will ruin the whole thing forever.
• Dirty Jobs with Darth - Follow along as Darth Vader documents the
craziest and most dangerous jobs in the galaxy, from keeping rancors
and feeding people to sarlaccs to cleaning out the trash compactor on
the Death Star.
• To Catch An SJW - Host Gina Carano entraps and then ambushes whiny
Star Wars fans on the internet and confronts them in person. "Why don't
you have a seat right over there?" she says as they drop their soy
milkshake in fear.
• The Masked Bounty Hunter - Every episode has a contest where various
bounty hunters show off their killing and capturing skills. The twist
is, they're masked, so you never know who's under there until they're
voted off! Just don't vote the Mandalorian off, because if you try to
take off his mask, well, you'll die.
• Sith Busters - This show will debunk popular Jedi myths and
investigate questions like how the heck Rey is so powerful despite
never having any formal Jedi training. Sith? Busted!
Which one are you most excited for?
--
Joe Biden went from stealing someone's wife, to stealing speeches, to
stealing money, to stealing an election.
He has really grown as a politician.
-- Michael Moore
#StopTheSteal
Wolffan
Dec 15, 2020, 9:45:37 AM12/15/20
to
On 15 Dec 2020, Ubiquitous wrote
(in article<3rmdnXj4F69_EkXC...@giganews.com>):
Don’t give Diznuts ideas. At least two of those are not as insane as, say
Star Dreck Pick a card. If that can get airtime, Sith Busters and Dirty Jobs
With Darth have a chance, too. Adam and Jamie dodging lightsabers and blaster
fire would be more entertaining than at least 50% of the current lineup on
Diznuts. They’d have a chance to have a Really Big Explosion, far bigger
than the time they blew up the cement mixer.
(in article<3rmdnXj4F69_EkXC...@giganews.com>):
Star Dreck Pick a card. If that can get airtime, Sith Busters and Dirty Jobs
With Darth have a chance, too. Adam and Jamie dodging lightsabers and blaster
fire would be more entertaining than at least 50% of the current lineup on
Diznuts. They’d have a chance to have a Really Big Explosion, far bigger
than the time they blew up the cement mixer.
Jerry Brown
Dec 15, 2020, 11:01:06 AM12/15/20
to
On Tue, 15 Dec 2020 04:28:06 -0500, Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net>
wrote:
>Disney announced about 7,562 new Star Wars shows yesterday. But that's
>just the tip of the iceberg, as more shows are soon to follow. We at
>The Babylon Bee have a Star Wars insider (we're not saying it's Gina
>Carano, but we're not not saying it). We asked her -- or him, or them
>-- what shows have yet to be announced, and they were able to tease
>these upcoming shows. They sound amazing!
<snip>
>Which one are you most excited for?
Back in the days of Babylon 5's ever diminishing returns I was
starting to expect "Rebo & Zooty: Narnshit" at some point.
--
Jerry Brown
A cat may look at a king
(but probably won't bother)
wrote:
>Disney announced about 7,562 new Star Wars shows yesterday. But that's
>just the tip of the iceberg, as more shows are soon to follow. We at
>The Babylon Bee have a Star Wars insider (we're not saying it's Gina
>Carano, but we're not not saying it). We asked her -- or him, or them
>-- what shows have yet to be announced, and they were able to tease
>these upcoming shows. They sound amazing!
>Which one are you most excited for?
starting to expect "Rebo & Zooty: Narnshit" at some point.
--
Jerry Brown
A cat may look at a king
(but probably won't bother)
0 new messages