[SITH BORE] Come on, people.
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
You can do better than this.
Steve Tilson
--
"How many more, Harry?" said Dumbledore, eyes puddling with tears. "How
many more have to be buried before your thirst for vengeance is satisfied?"
- www.pointlesswasteoftime.com
Lefty Skywalker
> In the past week, there have been few, if any, Sith Bore posts.
>
> You can do better than this.
>
> Steve Tilson
>
You're a hard act to follow.
--
Daniel O. Miller
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the
fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true
science. Whosoever does not know it and can no longer marvel, is as good
as dead, and his eyes are dimmed." - Albert Einstein
WWYD?
(hotmail addy is a red herring; I'm at em see aych ess aye)
Muuurgh
<Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
news:20031107164051.532$Q...@newsreader.com...
> In the past week, there have been few, if any, Sith Bore posts.
>
> You can do better than this.
I actually thought out an entire post. I just don't have the time and
energy right now. But it's GOOD.
It involves, Dan'l, Tilson, Kim_Le and the return of....
-Muuurgh
Penguinista
> In the past week, there have been few, if any, Sith Bore posts.
>
> You can do better than this.
>
> Steve Tilson
>
See what happens when I'm not playing? :-)
My next episode, Attack from Porcilon.
Policrat
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
7/11/03 9:40 pm:
> In the past week, there have been few, if any, Sith Bore posts.
>
> You can do better than this.
So can you...
> Steve Tilson
Pol'
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
What, back-to-back posts? Was there one after Gonk Squad?
Besides, I'm feeling a bit drained, creatively. I need input from the rest
of you to recharge the batteries.
> > Steve Tilson
>
> Pol'
Kim Le
the busy RASSM City streets. He glared at all the crowd that stood
around him in fear... no wait... awe? Wait, are they gawking? Don't
they know he'll kill them all?
"Tilson no like gawk...ing?" Then he knew. He had won something. He
was no longer the Tilsonian Steve, but just regular Steve Tilson. And
he was talking in rudimentarly third person still. What the hell....
The crowd surrounded him, everything was deathly quiet. Then he heard
snickering.
"Aw, is someone chilly?" came the taunts of a familiar voice nearby.
'Curses, I know that voice...' Tilson thought to himself, but then he
realized he *was* feeling a bit chilly. It was quite drafty here.
That's when he bothered to look down and realized that his foray into
Tilsonian Stevedom must have shred his garments earlier so he could
wreak massive destruction in brisky freedom. Yep, the man was quite
naked. And looked like he was pretty chilly. Really, really chilly.
"Here!" said the familiar voice again and Sith Squid came into view to
thrust a t-shirt into his hands. "I got it at this ceremony with this
toilet brush..."
She held up a fancy fiber optic toilet brush, looking at it with
confused curiosity. "I was going to give it to Muuurgh, but he took
off with a plunger instead. Think he went to have some private time
with his new toy."
Tilson wasn't really listening to the damn squid. He was trying to
hide by a convenient trashcan... Damn, it was a power droid and it
kept moving around such that it was difficult to get a bit of privacy
behind it with this crowd. Actually, Tilson was starting to suspect
the power droid was forcing him to waltz back and forth.
He threw the t-shirt over him in a hurry. Luckily, it covered a good
deal of him, thanks to it being quintupleX superlong size, as most
products were these days. 'Guess that Porkins craze was good for
something,' he thought. Of course, it looked like he was wearing a
frumpy dress instead. 'What's this?'
He looked down at the words on his t-shirt. "I WON A SITH WAR AND ALL
I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT" it proclaimed.
"AH SUCK!" he heard the Squid yell. The crowds were suddenly screaming
their all too familiar yells of terror again.
Tilson looked up and could see one thrashed commode, heading straight
down from a great orbital height. It was heading straight for him.
-- Kim Le
summary: Steve Tilson meets the aftermath of Tilsonian Steve's
destruction.
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> "Tilson no like gawk...ing?" Then he knew. He had won something. He
> was no longer the Tilsonian Steve, but just regular Steve Tilson. And
> he was talking in rudimentarly third person still. What the hell....
[snip]
> He threw the t-shirt over him in a hurry. Luckily, it covered a good
> deal of him, thanks to it being quintupleX superlong size, as most
> products were these days. 'Guess that Porkins craze was good for
> something,' he thought. Of course, it looked like he was wearing a
> frumpy dress instead. 'What's this?'
>
> He looked down at the words on his t-shirt. "I WON A SITH WAR AND ALL
> I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT" it proclaimed.
>
> "AH SUCK!" he heard the Squid yell. The crowds were suddenly screaming
> their all too familiar yells of terror again.
>
> Tilson looked up and could see one thrashed commode, heading straight
> down from a great orbital height. It was heading straight for him.
"Criminy," Tilson said. "I'm going to die wearing a dress."
******
Moments later, Squid, Dan'l Miller, Muuurgh, McEwok, and any other
interested Sith Warrior were examining the wreckage of the commode, half
embedded in the pavement, Tilson apparently somewhere under it.
"Jeez," Muuurgh said, waving a hand in front of his nose, contemplating
the brown blob oozing languidly away from the shards of porcelain. "Next
time we have a Tilsonian on our hands, let's make sure the first thing we
shoot at it is Beano."
"Ssso Tilssson won?" Worsel said. "Isss it over?"
"Far as I can tell," Dan'l said, examining his tricorder. "The universe
seems to be getting back to normal now."
"But how could he win, if he's under that?" McEwok demanded. "Hey, ah've
got me voice back... "
"Apparently, by first having Tilson win and then killing him, we've somehow
assured the stability of the RASSMverse," Dan'l said. "Stroke of genius,
really. Don't know why I didn't think of it. Oh, wait; I DID think of
it."
"Damn," Squid said. "That was a perfectly decent T-shirt. Oh, well."
"Considering what you almost caused to happen, I think you got off light,"
Dan'l told her. "You might want to check into the ontological rules of a
given reality before you go breaking them again."
"Where's the fun in that?"
********
Things were getting back to normal.
A beaver went around the dam he'd built, dismantling the anti-aircraft guns
he'd installed on its upper deck.
A hunter came across a family of deer and raised his rifle. The deer ran,
instead of blasting the hunter with RPG's.
And in a seedy hotel room in RASSM City, Natalie Portman looked over at
what was lying in bed next to her. She jumped out of the bed, screaming,
and ran in place, naked and screaming, for two solid minutes... giving
Esopo plenty of time to finish himself.
********
Aboard the Super Star Destroyer *Surly Punk 2*, a blue glow appeared on the
command deck. Captain Winnifred watched as Tilson spilled from the glow
onto the deck. Tilson was unconscious, at best, and wearing nothing but a
long T-shirt.
"Oh, how I've longed for this day," Winnifred said.
*********
In RASSM City, a somewhat battered and soiled porcupine crawled woozily
from the commode wreckage. It looked around at the Sith Warriors,
chittered something, and ran to the power droid. The blob flowed after it.
"Yep," Muuurgh said, "things are definitely getting back to normal."
Like characters at the end of a kung fu movie, they all laughed together,
and walked arm-in-arm toward the sunset.
******
SUMMARY:
It may or may not be over, but things are getting back to normal for the
moment.
Policrat
> Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> in article 20031107164051.532$Q...@newsreader.com,
>> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
>> 7/11/03 9:40 pm:
>>
>>> In the past week, there have been few, if any, Sith Bore posts.
>>>
>>> You can do better than this.
>>
>> So can you...
>
> What, back-to-back posts? Was there one after Gonk Squad?
>
> Besides, I'm feeling a bit drained, creatively. I need input from the rest
> of you to recharge the batteries.
I'll see what I can do...
>>> Steve Tilson
>>
>> Pol'
>
> Steve Tilson
pol'