White elephants
Marcus L. Rowland
of money on me at this time of year, because I generally spend a fair
bit on her and her family.
This is all well and good if what she buys is something I want, but this
year she landed me with a total white elephant (or what I regard as one
anyway); a mobile phone.
It may seem odd to call this a white elephant, but I do most of my
personal business by post and e-mail, and very rarely make voice phone
calls unless I'm at work or (rarely) at home. Since I live alone I don't
need to call home - since I usually travel by motorbike, I'd have real
problems using it on the move. And the damn thing costs UKP 75 a year to
run, even if I never use it....
I made one call before working out how much it would cost to run - this
means that it can't go back to the shop without a lot of arguments.
Fortunately we've found a way around the problem; it's going to one of
my nieces, as an early birthday present, and my sister is giving me a
gift voucher instead.
No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
get?
--
Marcus L. Rowland
http://www.ffutures.demon.co.uk/ http://www.forgottenfutures.com/
"We are all victims of this slime. They... ...fill our mailboxes with gibberish
that would get them indicted if people had time to press charges"
[Hunter S. Thompson predicts junk e-mail, 1985 (from Generation of Swine)]
Doug Wickstrom
<mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk> excited the ether to say:
>My sister is a nice person but seems to feel that she has to spend a lot
>of money on me at this time of year, because I generally spend a fair
>bit on her and her family.
>
>This is all well and good if what she buys is something I want, but this
>year she landed me with a total white elephant (or what I regard as one
>anyway); a mobile phone.
>
>It may seem odd to call this a white elephant, but I do most of my
>personal business by post and e-mail, and very rarely make voice phone
>calls unless I'm at work or (rarely) at home. Since I live alone I don't
>need to call home - since I usually travel by motorbike, I'd have real
>problems using it on the move. And the damn thing costs UKP 75 a year to
>run, even if I never use it....
The one time I actually needed to call the Auto club was the
first time in months that I left the phone at home. They have
their uses, even if I haven't made an outgoing call for several
weeks, now. Frankly, I'd like to convince She Who Wants to be
Obeyed to carry hers. It does bugger-all good to have one if you
don't _have_ one.
>I made one call before working out how much it would cost to run - this
>means that it can't go back to the shop without a lot of arguments.
>Fortunately we've found a way around the problem; it's going to one of
>my nieces, as an early birthday present, and my sister is giving me a
>gift voucher instead.
That works, I suppose.
>No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
>lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
>get?
A fireproof document safe. Damned if I know what I'm going to do
with it -- it isn't big enough to hold what I _really_ want to
put in a safe.
An electric clock that sounds the hours with assorted recordings
of bird songs.
--
Doug Wickstrom
"If you're looking down and being shocked by how _small_ everyone looks,
there is a good possibility that you are sitting on far too high a horse."
--Avedon Carol
Berni Phillips
>
> No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
> lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
> get?
My newest sister-in-law got me some very girly (I'm not very girly) and
unwanted gifts for both Hanukkah and Christmas. She sells a major line
of cosmetics, and I don't generally wear make-up or scent. I can't
stand any kind of foundation and, years ago, I developed a horrible
reaction to a perfume. She got me a very pretty compact with a cat
charm attached. Then she got me a whole pouch of scented items
(cologne, body lotion with the same scent, scented soaps, etc.), and a
too-precious stuffed cat on a white satin pillow. It was very sweet and
thoughtful of her, but I had no use for any of it. My 13-year-old niece
took the stuffed cat and my sister took the make-up and scented stuff.
Berni Phillips
Marilee J. Layman
<mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> Since I live alone I don't
>need to call home
Don't the snakes like to hear your voice?
>No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
>lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
>get?
My stepmother did better than usual this year, I kept two of her four
gifts. I took the multi-wick candle (I'm afraid of candles unless I'm
sitting staring at them, I've told her this, and she sends me one
every year) and the smudge stick to the local charity along with about
6 years of presents from her that I finally took out of a box. I
figure if I haven't used them in that time, I won't.
The next time I have a healthy person in the condo, I'll have them get
down all the old mugs in the top shelf of the cupboard because I've
been given so many new mugs in the last few years that they're taking
over the glass shelf. I reckon the old mugs can go to the local
charity, too.
--
Marilee J. Layman Co-Leader, The Other*Worlds*Cafe
relm...@aol.com A Science Fiction Discussion Group
Web site: http://www.webmoose.com/owc/
AOL keyword: BOOKs > Chats & Message > SF Forum > The Other*Worlds*Cafe
Ray Radlein
>
> No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
> lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did
> you get?
I got lumbered, I suppose you could say, but not with a white
elephant. I had very few packages to open under the tree this year,
since Angie decided that the 16 feet of seven foot tall bookcases with
paperback-height shelves going in the computer room next month would
count as my Christmas present. And who am I to argue with a gift like
that? It should clear out about two-thirds of the boxes in the
computer room. Ah, to have random, rather than laboriously sequential,
access to my books!
- Ray R.
--
**********************************************************************
"Okkoto-chu! I choose you!" - Princess Pokemononoke
Ray Radlein - r...@learnlink.emory.edu
homepage coming soon! wooo, wooo.
**********************************************************************
Rachael Lininger
Marcus L. Rowland <mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
>lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
>get?
My mother got me demitasse cups and fancy coffee. Does anyone know if
ceramic cups that are dishwasher and microwave safe are also oven safe?
Make I can use them for ramekins.
Also, along with the pocky sticks and cheese puff things, she got me some
odd Japanese dishes. There's no English on the box. Does anyone (Doug)
know what a bowl on a pedestal with a hole about halfway up the side of
the bowl would be? The hole is about the size of a pea. I'm at work, and I
can't remember whether the inside of the bowl is glazed. There is also a
larger, deep bowl without a pedestal that is unpainted and unglazed (and
doesn't have any holes in it). My mother _said_ that it was supposed to be
a casserole for the oven, but I'm not sure--earthenware and preheated
ovens don't always go together.
Rachael
--
Rachael Lininger | "It's good to know an assassin
lininger@ | you can hire with a can of tuna fish."
chem.wisc.edu | --Rocco da Mallet
Ailsa N Murphy
Doug Wickstrom <nims...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
[Oops. I killed the attribution for the original poster by mistake]
>>No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
>>lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
>>get?
>
>A fireproof document safe. Damned if I know what I'm going to do
>with it -- it isn't big enough to hold what I _really_ want to
>put in a safe.
>
>An electric clock that sounds the hours with assorted recordings
>of bird songs.
>
Wow. That's _really_ impressive. We had a white elephant gift
swap the first year I was working at Thomson, and that would have
been among the gifts that occasioned much comment. (I highly
recommend teh concept, too. Junk that you know is junk becomes
kitsch.)
My mom did pretty well this year, only one or two things that
made me sit and stare and wonder what in the world she was thinking.
The book of George MacDonald Xmas stories _almost_ qualifies, but
there's some family history involved in that one that saves it.
I think the whitest elephant I have been given so far was from my
ex-husband - a really upscale manicure kit. My nails have two
states, neglected and longish and neglected and short, and always have
done. I think he took it with him when he left, and I'm sure she's
gotten much more use from it than I ever did.
In retrospect, the message behind that one was obvious. I wonder
how many other white elephant gifts are unsubtle messages from
the giver.
Pity we can't all trade, I'd love the multiwick candles.
I can't think of a symbolic meaning for the bird clock, though.
-Ailsa
--
There is no forgetting sorrow an...@world.std.com
There is no regretting love Ailsa N.T. Murphy
All we really do is borrow all the dreams we're dreaming of
We can never know tomorrow, all we have is giving love today
-Midge Ure
Marcus L. Rowland
>
>A fireproof document safe. Damned if I know what I'm going to do
>with it -- it isn't big enough to hold what I _really_ want to
>put in a safe.
Floppies / CD-Rs / backup tapes etc. seems to be what most people use
them for.
Marcus L. Rowland
<ber...@ix.netcom.com> writes
>I don't generally wear make-up or scent
I don't shave, but I've been given bottles of aftershave at least twice
in the last ten years. Some people aren't very observant.
Marcus L. Rowland
<mjla...@erols.com> writes
>> Since I live alone I don't
>>need to call home
>
>Don't the snakes like to hear your voice?
Snakes don't hear anything... except possibly feeling ground vibrations.
They don't have ears...
P Nielsen Hayden
<FnGL8...@world.std.com>:
>Pity we can't all trade, I'd love the multiwick candles.
The "Malibu" group, a weekly lunch gathering of NYC publishing types
from the book and comics industries (Teresa's a regular, I'm not) has
an annual custom: every Wednesday after Christmas, everybody brings
their most unwanted presents, and trading ensues.
--
Patrick Nielsen Hayden : p...@panix.com : http://www.panix.com/~pnh
Ulrika O'Brien
<mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk>, explained :
> No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
> lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
> get?
I got The Squirrel On A Chain.
Years ago, when my younger brother was small, he bought a dime store
enamel-painted orange and yellow squirrel charm on a potmetal chain
for my mother for Christmas one year. My mother is not the
sentimental type and the squirrel is, it has to be said, fairly
horrible as cheap costume jewelry goes. So my mother saved it
away, in its original blue-and-white gingham check box, and
gave it to somebody else in the family the next year as a gag
gift. It's been circulating around the family at Christmas
gift exchanges ever since. Probably the last 25 years or
thereabouts.
This year was the first time Hal and I have been home with my folks
for Christmas in three or four years. In the interval since I first
moved from home, my Mom's bipolar disorder got bad enough to be
noticed and diagnosed. Unfortunately, the doctors also found that
she's one of the manic depressives who don't respond to lithium.
Already a blunt, critical, and, well, bigoted woman to begin with,
she loses all semblance of internal editing when in the grips of a
manic cycle. She will say pretty much whatever comes into her head
to say. In combination with the fact that she's never really
approved of Hal (or, indeed, anyone I ever went out with --
seemingly they're Not Good Enough for me), and gets completely wound
up and stressed when she tries to do Christmas up to her own
standards, well, you can perhaps imagine how relaxed and joyous is
the family circle at Christmas. Georg, The Funny One, can sometimes
dispel the tension with diversionary humor, but even so the last
couple of visits had broken down into fits of recrimination and
general ugliness by the end.
But I had a call from Mom a little while ago, and she sounded
surprisingly like the woman I used to know. She's found a new
doctor, and he's given her a prescription for something that seems
to get her balanced out. It broke the last spell of depression
without starting a manic cycle. We had a nice chat, and it never
got weird at all. We agreed Hal and I would come up to join them in
Mariposa if Hal got any time off for Christmas at all. I made Mom
promise she wasn't to go out of her way at all, and we agreed that
we didn't need to do presents.
We had resigned ourselves to Hal getting no time off -- the wages
of working at corporate for a retail chain -- then found out on
Christmas Eve morning when we drove in to drop Hal at work
that his boss was giving him the day off, so we went home and got
Sarah her Lyme disease booster, packed up the dog food, the warm
clothes, and -Persuasion- on audio tape, and headed for the
Sierras below Yosemite. Traffic on 99 up the San Juaquin
valley was surprisingly light, and the near-full moon rose
huge and pale pumpkin orange over the orchards and Sierra
foothills as we whistled along the darkened road through
Plainsburg and Planada.
And we had a nice visit, and it *stayed* nice. Mom went to no
trouble, which meant that there were only two types of homemade
cookies, a ham, meatballs, and a turkey, rather that the full
panoply of Swedish julbord and julbak. But, she never stressed
about it. We sat around swapping photos, took turns taking rides
around the acreage on their new John Deere Gator (a sort of tractor
dune buggy -- the general consensus was that it was a Disney ride,
with differing opinions as to which one. Hal muttered, "Dead men
tell no tales," the first time I drove him out on it). Sarah
got to gallop around the dirt roads and meadows to her heart's
content, and Shoobie got to be boss dog, which pleased him
mightily. (Shoobie is a shih tzu-lhasa, Sarah is Staffordshire-
Sharpei, if only half grown. I was glad that Sarah decided
to be a polite houseguest.)
Georg and his new wife Pam came up on Christmas Day and brought
gifts despite the injunction. A hardware store gift certificate
for Mom, a Dilbert candy dispenser for Dad, and me, I got the
dreaded Squirrel on a Chain. Just like a regular family Christmas.
They also gave Hal and me a toaster oven as consolation, but I
think getting the family white elephant, and a happy, friendly
visit where nobody had to get mad at anybody else at all was really
the best possible Christmas present.
On Christmas night the moon rose late, and Mom and I took the dogs
out in the frosty night before moonrise, and the stars were amazing,
shimmering and twinkling in the temperature gradient. The Milky
Way drew a vague haze across the sky, and I tried to remember
the names of the stars in Orion, all of which had blue-
white halos against the black of the sky.
On Boxing Day morning, the frost on the dry grass and scrub
shone silver and rhinestone white. It wasn't quite Christmas
snow, but still very pretty, as Sarah and I hiked up to Ben
Hur Road and back.
--
Daily Affirmation: The complete lack of evidence is
the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
ulrika o'brien * uaob...@earthlink.net * member fwa
Ulrika O'Brien
<ele...@starship.dnrc.bell-labs.com>, explained :
> In article <8EAA8E2...@166.84.0.240>,
> P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
> > an...@world.std.com (Ailsa N Murphy) wrote in
> > <FnGL8...@world.std.com>:
> >
> > >Pity we can't all trade, I'd love the multiwick candles.
> >
> > The "Malibu" group, a weekly lunch gathering of NYC publishing types
> > from the book and comics industries (Teresa's a regular, I'm not) has
> > an annual custom: every Wednesday after Christmas, everybody brings
> > their most unwanted presents, and trading ensues.
>
> Mark's group one year had some sort of bizarre grab bag in which
> everyone gets a number. Then person #1 picks a wrapped gift from the
> pile and unwraps it. Each person in order thereafter picks a wrapped
> gift, unwraps it, and then can keep it or force anyone who already has
> a present to exchange.
>
> Mark picked an audiocassette, and then changed with someone who had
> three kitchen bowl scrapers--who couldn't believe that anyone would
> actually *want* the scrapers.
>
> (Obviously, nothing stops people from making mutually agreeable
> exchanges afterwards.)
This is the same principle that the annual LASFS Gift Exchange
operates on, except that gifts are supposed to be of stfnal
or fannish interest, and have a minimum value. To the extent
that everyone comes with a goal of giving the most interesting,
funny, or prized gift, it works very well. Unfortunately, recent
years have seen several fen who repeatedly show up with
the aim of giving something of as little cost/value to themselves
as possible and Getting Something Really Cool back. Since there's
at least one forced swap available to everybody (the first draw
may force a swap at the very end, as I recall), there are way too
many opportunities for pettiness, jealousy, and bitter pouting when
the forced swap goody Fanboy got is then force-swapped away from
him. I got tired of the hissy fits and angry outbursts as not
exactly in keeping with the spirit of the season and have since
given up on going.
Scott Taylor
<MPG.12d2aca1b...@news.earthlink.net>...
> On Mon, 27 Dec 1999 22:33:23 +0000 Marcus L. Rowland,
> <mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk>, explained :
>
> > No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
> > lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
> > get?
>
> I got The Squirrel On A Chain.
Rasseff award with gold Yule log and a couple of inches of snow.
--
Scott Taylor
Freelancer for Hire
Have Powerbook, Will Travel
Kip Williams
> Also, along with the pocky sticks and cheese puff things, she got me some
> odd Japanese dishes. There's no English on the box. Does anyone (Doug)
> know what a bowl on a pedestal with a hole about halfway up the side of
> the bowl would be? The hole is about the size of a pea. I'm at work, and I
> can't remember whether the inside of the bowl is glazed.
Sounds like you've received a highly prized practical joke, the "dribble
grail." (I can't see the thing, of course. Maybe it's a chalice.)
--
--Kip (Williams)
amusing the world at http://members.home.net/kipw/
Kip Williams
>
> In article <R05oOKjDVznrhM...@4ax.com>, Marilee J. Layman
> <mjla...@erols.com> writes
> >> Since I live alone I don't
> >>need to call home
> >
> >Don't the snakes like to hear your voice?
>
> Snakes don't hear anything... except possibly feeling ground vibrations.
> They don't have ears...
Nature books have been telling me for years that snakes hear through
their tongues, and this is why they stick them out periodically. (Must
be hell to buy headphones for.)
P Nielsen Hayden
<MPG.12d2b37c5...@news.earthlink.net>:
>This is the same principle that the annual LASFS Gift Exchange
>operates on, except that gifts are supposed to be of stfnal
>or fannish interest, and have a minimum value. To the extent
>that everyone comes with a goal of giving the most interesting,
>funny, or prized gift, it works very well. Unfortunately, recent
>years have seen several fen who repeatedly show up with
>the aim of giving something of as little cost/value to themselves
>as possible and Getting Something Really Cool back. Since there's
>at least one forced swap available to everybody (the first draw
>may force a swap at the very end, as I recall), there are way too
>many opportunities for pettiness, jealousy, and bitter pouting when
>the forced swap goody Fanboy got is then force-swapped away from
>him. I got tired of the hissy fits and angry outbursts as not
>exactly in keeping with the spirit of the season and have since
>given up on going.
"But that was the _old_ LASFS."
It's amazing how some things in fandom never change. I have never been
to a LASFS meeting...and yet every time I hear a report of one, it
sounds like just the mixture of inspired lunacy and overcrowded
infantilism described by Burbee, Laney, and Rotsler in their
fanwritings of the 1940s.
Ulrika O'Brien
explained :
> "But that was the _old_ LASFS."
>
> It's amazing how some things in fandom never change. I have never been
> to a LASFS meeting...and yet every time I hear a report of one, it
> sounds like just the mixture of inspired lunacy and overcrowded
> infantilism described by Burbee, Laney, and Rotsler in their
> fanwritings of the 1940s.
Yeh. It's like that, only less interesting. Still, I suppose
I am missing out on all sorts of fanwriting inspiration by
abjuring the place. Where else can I find so much high fannish
dysfunction so conveniently on display? The challenge lies in
injecting sufficient good humor into any given account to keep
mere truthfulness from seeming mean-spirited.
Somebody quick, knock the jade off me. I feel old.
Kevin J. Maroney
>It may seem odd to call this a white elephant, but I do most of my
>personal business by post and e-mail, and very rarely make voice phone
>calls unless I'm at work or (rarely) at home. Since I live alone I don't
>need to call home - since I usually travel by motorbike, I'd have real
>problems using it on the move. And the damn thing costs UKP 75 a year to
>run, even if I never use it....
Do you travel at all? Arthur and Bernadette and I just spent five days
in a hotel (visiting Bernadette's blood family in Michigan), and we
managed to run up $50 in phone bills without hardly trying. Had we had
B's mobile phone with us, it would have paid for itself for a month.
--
Kevin Maroney | kmar...@crossover.com
Kitchen Staff Supervisor, New York Review of Science Fiction
http://www.nyrsf.com
Kevin J. Maroney
>Nature books have been telling me for years that snakes hear through
>their tongues, and this is why they stick them out periodically. (Must
>be hell to buy headphones for.)
I thought they *smelled* through their tongues.
And dreamed through their scales, and communed with the Lord of the
Snakes with their fangs.
Rachael Lininger
Ulrika O'Brien <uaob...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>Somebody quick, knock the jade off me. I feel old.
_I_ don't think you're old. I'm surely an authority, since I'm one of the
youngest regular people here, and I'm not sure the other kiddies have met
you yet. Have you?
I'm going to go out and play now.
Berni Phillips
names for a real gift exchange, and those who chose to also participated
in the white elephant.
I came home with a tree-topper that's an angel that happens to be a fish
instead of humanoid. You've got the gorgeous robes, the wings, the
halo, and a fish head. It holds a scroll with calligraphy about there
not being an end to fishing season or a limit.
The original purchaser of this was my mother, who's one of the least
observant people on this planet. She thought the fish was a frog and
had purchased it for a frog-loving daughter-in-law a few years ago. As
it wasn't a frog, it wound up in the white elephant.
I find it amusing enough to be tempted to hang onto it and maybe even
put it on top of the tree. (Hey, I've got ornaments of aliens on the
tree.) I decided that its best use would be as a birthday present for a
brother who was not present on Christmas. John loves to fish, so he
should be the owner of this treat.
Fish on the tree is a family joke anyway. My mother had all these
blown-glass ornaments from Germany. Most of them perished years ago,
but one which survived all our childhoods was the dead fish (as we
called it). It's a fish hanging head-downwards. One year my mother
found reproductions of this ornament and bought one for each of us.
(I'm one of seven siblings.) Most of my sibs have always hated the dead
fish so they formed a conspiracy for her to receive them all back again
the next year. She got back all but mine, which I hang onto for
sentimental reasons.
One of the best items in the white elephant came from my sister's
boyfriend, who works in disaster relief. It was a functional gas mask.
He wrapped it with a sign: Phillips Family Fart Protector. That one got
stolen quite a bit.
Ah well, it's good everyone has a sense of humor.
Berni Phillips
Dave Weingart
>I can't think of a symbolic meaning for the bird clock, though.
Sometimes a bird clock is just a bird clock.
--
73 de Dave Weingart KA2ESK O, what can ail thee, geek-at-arms
mailto:phyd...@liii.com Alone and slowly telnetting?
http://www.liii.com/~phydeaux The net has crumbled from the load
ICQ 57055207 And no hosts ping
Evelyn C. Leeper
P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
> an...@world.std.com (Ailsa N Murphy) wrote in
> <FnGL8...@world.std.com>:
>
> >Pity we can't all trade, I'd love the multiwick candles.
>
> The "Malibu" group, a weekly lunch gathering of NYC publishing types
> from the book and comics industries (Teresa's a regular, I'm not) has
> an annual custom: every Wednesday after Christmas, everybody brings
> their most unwanted presents, and trading ensues.
Mark's group one year had some sort of bizarre grab bag in which
everyone gets a number. Then person #1 picks a wrapped gift from the
pile and unwraps it. Each person in order thereafter picks a wrapped
gift, unwraps it, and then can keep it or force anyone who already has
a present to exchange.
Mark picked an audiocassette, and then changed with someone who had
three kitchen bowl scrapers--who couldn't believe that anyone would
actually *want* the scrapers.
(Obviously, nothing stops people from making mutually agreeable
exchanges afterwards.)
--
Evelyn C. Leeper, http://www.geocities.com/evelynleeper
The artist is a kind of prison from which the works of art escape.
--Jean Cocteau
Cally Soukup
> [Oops. I killed the attribution for the original poster by mistake]
>>>No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
>>>lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
>>>get?
>>
>>A fireproof document safe. Damned if I know what I'm going to do
>>with it -- it isn't big enough to hold what I _really_ want to
>>put in a safe.
>>
>>An electric clock that sounds the hours with assorted recordings
>>of bird songs.
>>
> Wow. That's _really_ impressive. We had a white elephant gift
> swap the first year I was working at Thomson, and that would have
> been among the gifts that occasioned much comment. (I highly
> recommend teh concept, too. Junk that you know is junk becomes
> kitsch.)
We did a "one real gift and one white elephant per couple, and then
everyone draw randomly" gift exchange at work this year. I got a
Mikasa Christmas platter that I'm quite sure had been sitting in the
back of someone's closet for years. I rewrapped it and gave it to
my mother-in-law, who absolutely loved it.
My favorite white elephant at the office party this year was the
(slightly broken) chandelier, complete with official looking document
proclaiming that it was a real replica of the chandelier of the Paris
Opera House (and a hardcover copy of The Phantom of the Opera). The
document didn't say it was a GOOD copy <smile>.
--
"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend
to the death your right to say it." -- Beatrice Hall
Cally Soukup sou...@pobox.com
Ailsa N Murphy
Evelyn C. Leeper <ele...@lucent.com> wrote:
>
>Mark's group one year had some sort of bizarre grab bag in which
>everyone gets a number. Then person #1 picks a wrapped gift from the
>pile and unwraps it. Each person in order thereafter picks a wrapped
>gift, unwraps it, and then can keep it or force anyone who already has
>a present to exchange.
>
IMO, they're the most sensible way to do office gift exchanges, as
you don't have to worry about one particular person wants, so long
as you get something you figure more than one person would want.
First one of those I went to, I bought a small bottle of Kahlua,
a quart of half & half, and a reasonably nice looking glass. It
got swapped a fair amount, iirc.
Ailsa N Murphy
Scott Taylor <izzy...@faerealm.com> wrote:
>Ulrika O'Brien <uaob...@earthlink.net> wrote in article
><MPG.12d2aca1b...@news.earthlink.net>...
>> On Mon, 27 Dec 1999 22:33:23 +0000 Marcus L. Rowland,
>> <mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk>, explained :
>>
>> > No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
>> > lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
>> > get?
>>
>> I got The Squirrel On A Chain.
>
>
possible fanzine article, can I use it?
Dave Weingart
>I came home with a tree-topper that's an angel that happens to be a fish
>instead of humanoid. You've got the gorgeous robes, the wings, the
>halo, and a fish head. It holds a scroll with calligraphy about there
>not being an end to fishing season or a limit.
Fish head, fish head, robe-y, holy fish head?
Doug Wickstrom
(Rachael Lininger) excited the ether to say:
>Also, along with the pocky sticks and cheese puff things, she got me some
>odd Japanese dishes. There's no English on the box. Does anyone (Doug)
>know what a bowl on a pedestal with a hole about halfway up the side of
>the bowl would be?
Umm, broken? Sorry, I haven't the foggiest. Is there a way you
can post an image of the thing to a web site, somewhere, or a
scan of the box?
Might be an incense burner.
>The hole is about the size of a pea. I'm at work, and I
>can't remember whether the inside of the bowl is glazed. There is also a
>larger, deep bowl without a pedestal that is unpainted and unglazed (and
>doesn't have any holes in it). My mother _said_ that it was supposed to be
>a casserole for the oven, but I'm not sure--earthenware and preheated
>ovens don't always go together.
That might actually _be_ a casserole of some sort, though perhaps
not in the usual way. Sometimes such are meant to be heated and
used to contain another dish to keep it warm. There aren't many
ovens in Japanese homes, anyway -- no room. I think I saw such a
thing used in an open fire, once, too, to protect another dish
from the flame.
Then again, some of this is for the export market.
--
Doug Wickstrom
"I feel a sudden, strange urge to say something pithy and quotable."
--Michael Flynn
Doug Wickstrom
<mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk> excited the ether to say:
>In article <386855...@ix.netcom.com>, Berni Phillips
><ber...@ix.netcom.com> writes
>>I don't generally wear make-up or scent
>
>I don't shave, but I've been given bottles of aftershave at least twice
>in the last ten years. Some people aren't very observant.
Or trying to tell you something?
Doug Wickstrom
<mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk> excited the ether to say:
>In article <1ijg6s0j29dgrbga4...@4ax.com>, Doug Wickstrom
><nims...@worldnet.att.net> writes
>>
>>A fireproof document safe. Damned if I know what I'm going to do
>>with it -- it isn't big enough to hold what I _really_ want to
>>put in a safe.
>
>Floppies / CD-Rs / backup tapes etc. seems to be what most people use
>them for.
As I said, it's not nearly big enough.
--
Doug Wickstrom
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have
a tremendous impact on history." --Dan Quayle
Doug Wickstrom
Murphy) excited the ether to say:
>I can't think of a symbolic meaning for the bird clock, though.
It was meant to be annoying, I think.
--
Doug Wickstrom
"I know, indeed, the evil of that I purpose; but my inclination gets the
better of my judgement." --Euripides
Marcus L. Rowland
Maroney <kmar...@crossover.com> writes
>
>Do you travel at all? Arthur and Bernadette and I just spent five days
>in a hotel (visiting Bernadette's blood family in Michigan), and we
>managed to run up $50 in phone bills without hardly trying. Had we had
>B's mobile phone with us, it would have paid for itself for a month.
Like I said, I live alone - who am I supposed to be calling? My typical
trip is to a convention, and most of the people I want to talk to will
be in the bar, not on the other end of a phone.
P Nielsen Hayden
[re the LASFS]
>The challenge lies in
>injecting sufficient good humor into any given account to keep
>mere truthfulness from seeming mean-spirited.
Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.
I've been to that kind of fan gathering. Ow.
Rachael Lininger
Doug Wickstrom <nims...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>On 28 Dec 1999 09:37:57 -0600, lini...@fozzie.chem.wisc.edu
>(Rachael Lininger) excited the ether to say:
>
>>Also, along with the pocky sticks and cheese puff things, she got me some
>>odd Japanese dishes. There's no English on the box. Does anyone (Doug)
>>know what a bowl on a pedestal with a hole about halfway up the side of
>>the bowl would be?
>
>Umm, broken? Sorry, I haven't the foggiest. Is there a way you
>can post an image of the thing to a web site, somewhere, or a
>scan of the box?
Nah, it's deliberate.
The box had pictures of seafood on it. This probably does not explain
much, given that much of the Japanese diet is seafood (which is why I'm
learning Chinese food, not Japanese food). I can't get anything scanned,
though.
>Might be an incense burner.
I can't quite see that.
>That might actually _be_ a casserole of some sort, though perhaps
>not in the usual way. Sometimes such are meant to be heated and
>used to contain another dish to keep it warm. There aren't many
>ovens in Japanese homes, anyway -- no room. I think I saw such a
>thing used in an open fire, once, too, to protect another dish
>from the flame.
Ok. I have a feeling that an open flame would not be a clever idea, but as
I don't have a fireplace and don't think my landlord would like me
starting a bonfire on the balcony, it's a moot point.
>Then again, some of this is for the export market.
Yes. Oh, well. Thanks. I've got a storage cell downstairs...
Julie Stampnitzky
Post), auction sites such as eBay do a lot of business post-Christmas in
unwanted gifts people resell.
The reporter talks to Sherri Kenyon of Nashville, Tennessee. "Luckily for
Kenyon, her mother-in-law doesn't surf the web. Because if she did, she
would find some of her unwanted gifts featured at eBay."
Gee, I hope her mother-in-law doesn't read the Post, either...
--
Julie Stampnitzky |"I hope you can imagine my furious joy,
Rehovot, Israel |scribbling away in the lamplight, sometimes
http://www.yucs.org/~jules |surprising myself with what I think, and how I
http://neskaya.darkover.cx |choose to express it." (_Freedom & Necessity_)
Ulrika O'Brien
<an...@world.std.com>, explained :
> In article <01bf5177$1b33c940$07da6796@kp-erp-w462808>,
> Scott Taylor <izzy...@faerealm.com> wrote:
> >Ulrika O'Brien <uaob...@earthlink.net> wrote in article
> ><MPG.12d2aca1b...@news.earthlink.net>...
> >> On Mon, 27 Dec 1999 22:33:23 +0000 Marcus L. Rowland,
> >> <mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk>, explained :
> >>
> >> > No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
> >> > lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
> >> > get?
> >>
> >> I got The Squirrel On A Chain.
> >
> >Rasseff award with gold Yule log and a couple of inches of snow.
> >
> If one can second these, I do, and if no one's optioned this as a
> possible fanzine article, can I use it?
Gee, gosh, thanks. How about if I give you second dibs after
me. I still have delusions of getting Gyre out this week, if
only I can keep the damn' flu at bay.
Ulrika O'Brien
<mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk>, explained :
> In article <386855...@ix.netcom.com>, Berni Phillips
> <ber...@ix.netcom.com> writes
> >I don't generally wear make-up or scent
>
> I don't shave, but I've been given bottles of aftershave at least twice
> in the last ten years. Some people aren't very observant.
Or they're trying to say something.
I'm perpetually baffled by the whole idea of scent as
gift, at least perfumes and colognes bought for people
whose taste you don't know. These things seem so
enormously personal, much more so than jewelry, to me.
From personal experience I know that the wrong scent on
a particular body chemistry can go horribly,
horribly nasty. As it happened I did by my boss a bottle of
perfume for Christmas, but only because she'd happened to
mention what she liked and I'd remembered. I only buy scent
for people whom I know well enough to know they'll like and
use it. This only seems like good sense, to me. Otherwise
you risk spending what can be a lot of money on a gift not
merely unwonderful, but downright horrid.
Then again, it seems like I'm buying fewer and fewer gifts of the
Just Because I Should variety. A present should be funny, or
delightful, or otherwise really well suited to the recipient,
and preferably a surprise. I hate the awkwardness of bland,
unwanted presents.
Ailsa N Murphy
Ulrika O'Brien <uaob...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>On Wed, 29 Dec 1999 01:17:07 GMT Ailsa N Murphy,
><an...@world.std.com>, explained :
>> >
>> possible fanzine article, can I use it?
>
>Gee, gosh, thanks. How about if I give you second dibs after
>me. I still have delusions of getting Gyre out this week, if
>only I can keep the damn' flu at bay.
>
Lounge? Please please please?
And thanks for the second level option. I hope to produce an
actual fanzine, rather then the idea of having a fanzine, before
Passover. I've already picked a name & everything. I know who
I want to solicit articles from, too, I just haven't gotten up
the nerve to do it until this one.
Gotta write more LoCs....
Dave Weingart
That you do, since I'm starting to pull together what will be the
January 2000 ish of LJRF right now (<obPlug>text available online
at http://www.liii.com/~phydeaux/ljrf/</obplug>).
Adina Adler
> In article <84b2kc$4...@nntpb.cb.lucent.com>,
> Evelyn C. Leeper <ele...@lucent.com> wrote:
> >
> >Mark's group one year had some sort of bizarre grab bag in which
> >everyone gets a number. Then person #1 picks a wrapped gift from the
> >pile and unwraps it. Each person in order thereafter picks a wrapped
> >gift, unwraps it, and then can keep it or force anyone who already has
> >a present to exchange.
> >
> Ah, yes, the Yankee Gift Swap. Those are really common around here.
> IMO, they're the most sensible way to do office gift exchanges, as
> you don't have to worry about one particular person wants, so long
> as you get something you figure more than one person would want.
I've never seen one of these, and that may explain why it doesn't make
sense to me. It implies that I can unwrap a present, sigh with delight
as I discover that it's a wonderful box of chocolate truffles, and
then watch in horror as someone forces me to exchange it for something
I really don't want. How is this fun?
--
Adina Adler
Visit the Readercon web page at http://www.readercon.org
Evelyn C. Leeper
In Mark's group's case, one person was sent with X dollars to buy X
items at the Dollar Store (*), so it was really more for entertainment
than any sort of wonderful gift-giving. I can see where if everyone
brings one item, there would be much more disparity in the
"desirability" of the items--and the higher the average cost is, the
worse it gets. It's hard to get really attached to three bowl
scrapers, a blank audiocassette, or a pair of mousetraps.
Certainly one SF variation might be for everyone to bring one wrapped
mass-market paperback.
(*) And what is it with these "Dollar Stores" anyway. There seems to
be one in every strip mall these days, each with a slight variation on
the name. The food is mostly stale, though the chocolate-covered
matzoh were okay, because who can tell if matzoh is stale anyway? (**)
On the other hand, the best grapefruit spoons we have we got at one of
these stores.
(**) See, every thread turns into Jewish food minutiae. :-)
Richard Brandt
>
> uaob...@earthlink.net (Ulrika O'Brien) wrote in
> <MPG.12d2da52f...@news.earthlink.net>:
>
> [re the LASFS]
>
> >The challenge lies in
> >injecting sufficient good humor into any given account to keep
> >mere truthfulness from seeming mean-spirited.
>
> Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.
>
> I've been to that kind of fan gathering. Ow.
Sir, you have no idea.
--
===Richard Brandt is at http://www.spaceports.com/~rsbrandt===
"Weekly pregnancy test kits are awarded."
-- one really odd contest prize
Ailsa N Murphy
Adina Adler <ad...@shell3.shore.net> wrote:
>an...@world.std.com (Ailsa N Murphy) writes:
>
>> In article <84b2kc$4...@nntpb.cb.lucent.com>,
>> Evelyn C. Leeper <ele...@lucent.com> wrote:
>> >
>> >Mark's group one year had some sort of bizarre grab bag in which
>> >everyone gets a number. Then person #1 picks a wrapped gift from the
>> >pile and unwraps it. Each person in order thereafter picks a wrapped
>> >gift, unwraps it, and then can keep it or force anyone who already has
>> >a present to exchange.
>> >
>> Ah, yes, the Yankee Gift Swap. Those are really common around here.
>> IMO, they're the most sensible way to do office gift exchanges, as
>> you don't have to worry about one particular person wants, so long
>> as you get something you figure more than one person would want.
>
>I've never seen one of these, and that may explain why it doesn't make
>sense to me. It implies that I can unwrap a present, sigh with delight
>as I discover that it's a wonderful box of chocolate truffles, and
>then watch in horror as someone forces me to exchange it for something
>I really don't want. How is this fun?
>
something you've gotten until it's over. Although begging sometimes
works.
The ones I've been to have been all in good fun, with at worst an
air of goodnatured competition.
It's probably like the punch buggies, very YMMV.
Julie Stampnitzky
> (*) And what is it with these "Dollar Stores" anyway. There seems to
> be one in every strip mall these days, each with a slight variation on
> the name.
Worse- they've been imported to Israel, under the same name. And we don't
even *have* dollars here. Go figure.
Kip Williams
was a ten dollar limit on the present. Some managed to find really
amazing stuff for a ten spot. The exchanging got to be pretty hot
sometimes.
The most well-appreciated present I brought to one of those was the
ballpoint pens that look like hypodermic needles, complete to the liquid
sloshing inside. The recipient turned around and used them as gifts for
a hard-to-shop-for family member. I found those at the shop where I was
buying a brace for the rib I broke rehearsing "Man of La Mancha." (Fell
on my quarterstaff. Doctor didn't notice the break at first, but I
noticed that it made noises when I pressed in a certain place. Still
aches once in a while.)
--
--Kip (Williams)
amusing the world at http://members.home.net/kipw/
Kip Williams
to work for us, and was followed by a piece of kitschy sculpture
(depicting an owl and a pussy cat and a large crescent moon) that she
had apparently tried to leave behind at her last place of work. It had
some history, dating back to one of the holiday exchanges.
She left the company a little while back, and took a job at the company
where Geoff's dad works. One of the employees from the HR officer's area
brought the sculpture back to Geoff and explained the situation to him.
He forwarded it to his dad with an explanation. The present has since
been presented to our former employee, with a card welcoming her to her
new office. Haven't heard how she liked it.
David G. Bell
<YeIxRCAK...@ffutures.demon.co.uk>
mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk "Marcus L. Rowland" wrote:
> In article <v3ii6ssduicrerfi9...@4ax.com>, Kevin J.
> Maroney <kmar...@crossover.com> writes
> >
> >Do you travel at all? Arthur and Bernadette and I just spent five days
> >in a hotel (visiting Bernadette's blood family in Michigan), and we
> >managed to run up $50 in phone bills without hardly trying. Had we had
> >B's mobile phone with us, it would have paid for itself for a month.
>
> Like I said, I live alone - who am I supposed to be calling? My typical
> trip is to a convention, and most of the people I want to talk to will
> be in the bar, not on the other end of a phone.
They're for ordering pizzas while you're on the net.
It isn't worth it for a 25-mile-old Domino's
--
David G. Bell -- Farmer, SF Fan, Filker, and Punslinger.
Alison Hopkins
Marcus L. Rowland wrote in message ...
>Like I said, I live alone - who am I supposed to be calling? My typical
>trip is to a convention, and most of the people I want to talk to will
>be in the bar, not on the other end of a phone.
>--
Which sounds far more fun. Although, I have found mobiles very useful, when
conrunning, for tracking down escaped committee.
Apparently, btw, the mobile phone population of the UK went up by *five
million* in the run up to Christmas. iirc, there are now 25 million mobile
phones in the UK. When I was last selling telco billing software, a little
over two years back, the figure was under ten million. <gulp>
When I *started* selling telco billing, some four years ago, it was three
million. <blink>
Ali
Milt Stevens
Evelyn C. Leeper wrote in message <84dqht$2...@nntpa.cb.lucent.com>...
>Certainly one SF variation might be for everyone to bring one wrapped
>mass-market paperback.
>
books don't work all the time. For years, copies of "Zotz" kept showing up
in the gift exchange. It was science fiction (sort of), and it was a
hardback book. However, it must have been so overprinted that you could
pick up copies for a quarter. It finally became the unstated rule that you
better have a pretty good gag attached to it if you wanted to put a copy of
"Zotz" in the gift exchange.
One year, I recall ending up with a Barry Malzberg novel from the gift
exchange. I commented I didn't think a Barry Malzberg novel was worth a
quarter. Craig Miller offered me a quarter for the book, and I took it.
Craig then said he could sell any SF hardback to Sherrie Gottlieb at Change
of Hobbit for a dollar. I'm glad he had something in mind. I'd hate to
think his taste in SF was that bad.
There were a number of non-book items that showed up for years in the LASFS
gift exchange. There was a flatbed mimeo which was reputedly once owned by
Benjamin Franklin. There was also an actual chocolate covered manhole
cover. It kept coming back every year, because what else could you do with
a chocolate covered manhole cover.
Milt Stevens
P Nielsen Hayden wrote in message <8EAAA1D...@166.84.0.240>...
>It's amazing how some things in fandom never change. I have never been
>to a LASFS meeting...and yet every time I hear a report of one, it
>sounds like just the mixture of inspired lunacy and overcrowded
>infantilism described by Burbee, Laney, and Rotsler in their
>fanwritings of the 1940s.
>
And you don't know half of it. I once walked in on a meeting where a motion
to suppress a motion to suppress was being hotly debated. After about ten
minutes, a latecomer asked if it could be mentioned what the original motion
had been, so the membership might know what they were talking about. It was
the sense of the meeting that knowing what you were talking about was
cheating, and they went on arguing for another twenty minutes.
Milt Stevens
Marcus L. Rowland wrote in message ...
><ber...@ix.netcom.com> writes
>>I don't generally wear make-up or scent
>
>I don't shave, but I've been given bottles of aftershave at least twice
>in the last ten years. Some people aren't very observant.
I seem to have a knack for winning useless (to me) door prizes at Christmas
Parties. One year, I won a selection of hair care products. While I don't
exactly comb my hair with a washcloth, I'm no great market for hair care
products. Another year, I won a videotape rewind when I didn't even own a
television set.
Kate Schaefer
>In article <MPG.12d2da52f...@news.earthlink.net>,>>Somebody quick, knock the jade off me. I feel old.
>
>_I_ don't think you're old. I'm surely an authority, since I'm one of the
>youngest regular people here, and I'm not sure the other kiddies have met
>you yet. Have you?
>
>I'm going to go out and play now.
1) Which jade was on Ulrika?
2) If you're one of the youngest regular people here, what kind of people
are the non-regular ones?
3) Have too met Ulrika, have too.
LAFF
>>>>what species of white elephant did you
>>>>get?
My family did a "grab bag" sort of thing where all the women would get
something <$25 that would appeal to a woman and the men would get
something for guys. Then on Christmas each woman pulled one of the
other women's names, etc.
I got a 4-CD boxed set of pop songs that have been in movie
soundtracks. Except that they're all cover versions, not the original
artists. Think of a halfway-decent bar band: some of the covers are
really pretty good, but a few of them -- of songs I really love -- are
like chalk screetching on a blackboard.
If I'd realized they were cover versions before I opened the box, I
could've exchanged it, but now . . . well, if I turn the sound down
most of it is OK as background music for when I'm reading e-mail.
Other than that, though, and four boxes of candy (for someone who's
already packing several extra pounds?) it was a pretty good haul. And
at least the candy is chocolate. I already ate one!
--
Lois Fundis lfu...@weir.net
Doug Wickstrom
<Sardo...@email.msn.com> excited the ether to say:
>There were a number of non-book items that showed up for years in the LASFS
>gift exchange. There was a flatbed mimeo which was reputedly once owned by
>Benjamin Franklin. There was also an actual chocolate covered manhole
>cover. It kept coming back every year, because what else could you do with
>a chocolate covered manhole cover.
Lift it for exercise?
--
Doug Wickstrom
"Honto no ii katana wa saya ni haiteiru." --Tsubaki Sanjuro
Alan Woodford
<fn...@dial.pipex.com> wrote:
>
>Marcus L. Rowland wrote in message ...
>
>
And I'm still not one of them there mobile phone people :-)
I think it must be my mean streak. I occasionally pick up a few
leaflets to find out which is the cheapest for my projected use (a few
outgoing calls per month, but basically as emergency contact) but when
I try to work out the costs, my head explodes.
I can do A-level maths, on a good day, but mobile phone charge rates
just confuse the *#£% out of me.
Alan "Easily confused" Woodford
Men in Frocks, protecting the Earth with mystical flummery!
David Goldfarb
Milt Stevens <Sardo...@email.msn.com> wrote:
)There was also an actual chocolate covered manhole
)cover. It kept coming back every year, because what else could you do with
)a chocolate covered manhole cover.
I'm not sure what to say about that.
--
David Goldfarb <*>| "Oh no, foolish Jed, you have let out
gold...@ocf.berkeley.edu | the verbal gerbils!"
gold...@csua.berkeley.edu | -- _Sandman_ #11
aste...@slip.net |
Ray Radlein
>
> I still have delusions of getting Gyre out this week [....]
Just in time for the imminent collapse of civilization! How
appropriate.
- Ray R.
--
**********************************************************************
"Okkoto-chu! I choose you!" - Princess Pokemononoke
Ray Radlein - r...@learnlink.emory.edu
homepage coming soon! wooo, wooo.
**********************************************************************
Victor Gonzalez
wrote:
Brilliant. I'm so convinced, I could just shit.
--
Victor Gonzalez: <sq...@galaxy-7.net>
Squib webpage: <http://www.galaxy-7.net/squib>
Bjørn Vermo
<mrow...@ffutures.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> It may seem odd to call this a white elephant, but I do most of my
> personal business by post and e-mail, and very rarely make voice phone
> calls unless I'm at work or (rarely) at home. Since I live alone I don't
> need to call home - since I usually travel by motorbike, I'd have real
> problems using it on the move. And the damn thing costs UKP 75 a year to
> run, even if I never use it....
>
Well, I generally hate telephones (which have a nasty habit of ringing
at inopportune moments) but it is really nice to have one at times.
Especially one with an off switch. 75 Ukrainian Pundits does seem a
bit excessive, though, if you do not really use the thing. Is it not
possible to buy prepaid calling cards around your neighbourhood? Most
kids here use them, since they cannot get a subscription unless an
adult signs up for it. It is hellishly expensive to make calls with,
but you get a number assigned without having to pay a subscription.
Giving somebody one of the phones they sell at a great discount with
lots of strings attached just to tie up new customers would definitely
make one of the whitest elephants I can imagine...
Alison Hopkins
Bjørn Vermo wrote in message ...
>Well, I generally hate telephones (which have a nasty habit of ringing
>at inopportune moments) but it is really nice to have one at times.
>Especially one with an off switch. 75 Ukrainian Pundits does seem a
>bit excessive, though, if you do not really use the thing. Is it not
>possible to buy prepaid calling cards around your neighbourhood? Most
>kids here use them, since they cannot get a subscription unless an
>adult signs up for it. It is hellishly expensive to make calls with,
>but you get a number assigned without having to pay a subscription.
>
Fastest growth sector of the mobile market in the UK, and a high percentage
of the new ones sold this month were pre pay. The downside is that *some* of
the providers timeout the vouchers after a while - I think Orange and Virgin
don't. They are also widely used by the <ahem> criminal fraternity and call
girls as you don't have to provide any kind of name and address, unless
buying the voucher by credit card. The phone providers now ask for
identification if you buy vouchers by credit card, as there's been some wide
spread fraud.
Ali
(Lord, I could bore as an Olympic sport on this! :)
Ulrika O'Brien
explained :
> In article <84eprf$dcc$0...@216.39.131.158>, Kate Schaefer <ka...@oz.net>
> wrote:
>
> > Rachael Lininger wrote in message <84bkmc$7s2$1...@fozzie.chem.wisc.edu>...
> > >In article <MPG.12d2da52f...@news.earthlink.net>,
> > >Ulrika O'Brien <uaob...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> > >
> > >>Somebody quick, knock the jade off me. I feel old.
> > >
> > >_I_ don't think you're old. I'm surely an authority, since I'm one of the
> > >youngest regular people here, and I'm not sure the other kiddies have met
> > >you yet. Have you?
> > >
> > >I'm going to go out and play now.
> >
> >
> > 1) Which jade was on Ulrika?
> >
> > 2) If you're one of the youngest regular people here, what kind of people
> > are the non-regular ones?
> >
> > 3) Have too met Ulrika, have too.
>
> Brilliant. I'm so convinced, I could just shit.
Um. Huh?
P Nielsen Hayden
<#mw574nU$GA.227@cpmsnbbsa05>:
Actually, I would put all of that in the "inspired lunacy" category.
At least it's creative and somewhat witty!
In fact, parliamentary surrealism has a long history in several fan
clubs. The true killer ninja practitioners of the art are, of course,
NESFA, tutored as they are by their Ascended Perfect Master, George
Flynn.
--
Patrick Nielsen Hayden : p...@panix.com : http://www.panix.com/~pnh
P Nielsen Hayden
<386A70B6...@rgfn.epcc.edu>:
>P Nielsen Hayden wrote:
>>
>> uaob...@earthlink.net (Ulrika O'Brien) wrote in
>> <MPG.12d2da52f...@news.earthlink.net>:
>>
>> [re the LASFS]
>>
>> >The challenge lies in
>> >injecting sufficient good humor into any given account to keep
>> >mere truthfulness from seeming mean-spirited.
>>
>> Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.
>>
>> I've been to that kind of fan gathering. Ow.
>
>Sir, you have no idea.
Bet me.
Marcus L. Rowland
<b...@bigblue.no> writes
>Is it not
>possible to buy prepaid calling cards around your neighbourhood? Most
>kids here use them, since they cannot get a subscription unless an
>adult signs up for it. It is hellishly expensive to make calls with,
>but you get a number assigned without having to pay a subscription.
It turns out that a couple of companies do offer this sort of deal,
where you pay only for calls provided you make at least a couple of
(expensive) calls a year. If I ever feel the need for a mobile I'll go
for one of them.
--
Marcus L. Rowland
http://www.ffutures.demon.co.uk/ http://www.forgottenfutures.com/
"We are all victims of this slime. They... ...fill our mailboxes with gibberish
that would get them indicted if people had time to press charges"
[Hunter S. Thompson predicts junk e-mail, 1985 (from Generation of Swine)]
Alison Hopkins
Alan Woodford wrote in message <386b16fb...@news.demon.co.uk>...
>And I'm still not one of them there mobile phone people :-)
>
>I think it must be my mean streak. I occasionally pick up a few
>leaflets to find out which is the cheapest for my projected use (a few
>outgoing calls per month, but basically as emergency contact) but when
>I try to work out the costs, my head explodes.
>I can do A-level maths, on a good day, but mobile phone charge rates
>just confuse the *#£% out of me.
>
>Alan "Easily confused" Woodford
<g> Well, you could hit Carphone Warehouse, who will actually analyse the
projected usage and work out the best tariff for you. They carry all the
networks. Or, if you decide to just go for something simple, I'd suggest
Orange or perhaps Virgin. Get the cheapest phone, and either the lowest
monthly rental - don't worry about call costs - or a bundle which includes
some minutes. Right now, for your kind of usage, I'd say Orange has the best
deals including some good freebies. I'm with Vodafone, but that's because
I've had the number for nearly ten years, and I *really* don't want to
notify a change to all the people who've got it. Plus, for business use and
international roaming I think Voda is excellent. And I get Airmiles! :):) :)
Ali
Tom Galloway
P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
>In fact, parliamentary surrealism has a long history in several fan
>clubs. The true killer ninja practitioners of the art are, of course,
>NESFA, tutored as they are by their Ascended Perfect Master, George Flynn.
I once managed to get a pun fine at a NESFA meeting based on parliamentary
surrealism. In relatively quick succession, three successive motions to
strike something from the record were made, and as the latter two were made
as amendments, all three were active. Debate started on the latest one, but
realizing what had happened, I jumped up with a point of parliamentary
procedure; there could be no further debate on any of the motions as what
was now going on was an undebatable motion to adjourn.
After all, three strikes and you're out.
tyg t...@netcom.com
Jordin Kare
kmar...@crossover.com wrote:
> Kip Williams <ki...@home.com> wrote:
>
> >Nature books have been telling me for years that snakes hear through
> >their tongues, and this is why they stick them out periodically. (Must
> >be hell to buy headphones for.)
>
> I thought they *smelled* through their tongues.
>
> And dreamed through their scales, and communed with the Lord of the
> Snakes with their fangs.
Nonsense. Fangs are where they store information. You know,
"Fangs for the memories..."
Jordin Kare
Alan Woodford
Thanks for the advice. I think a mobile phone has just shot off over
the horizon, though.
My phone provider has just sent me notification of a change in their
charging systems. It looks as though my bill will go up 50+% in
February.
Anybody know BT's Number :-)
Alan "I hate Telewest Communications" Woodford
Jordin Kare
wrote:
>
> I can't think of a symbolic meaning for the bird clock, though.
Time flies.
Jordin Kare
Vicki Rosenzweig
1999 20:22:21 GMT:
>(*) And what is it with these "Dollar Stores" anyway. There seems to
>be one in every strip mall these days, each with a slight variation on
>the name. The food is mostly stale, though the chocolate-covered
>matzoh were okay, because who can tell if matzoh is stale anyway? (**)
>On the other hand, the best grapefruit spoons we have we got at one of
>these stores.
>
>(**) See, every thread turns into Jewish food minutiae. :-)
What I'm currently boggled by is some stores that have signs
reading EVERY ITEM $10 <much smaller print>or up<end tiny print>.
In other words, they're betting that the customers won't pay
enough attention to notice that what they're advertising is
"We have nothing that costs less than ten dollars" *and*
won't be annoyed enough to leave when they discover that the
ten dollars is the minimum rather than flat or maximum price.
I refuse to set foot in one.
--
Vicki Rosenzweig | v...@redbird.org
r.a.sf.f faq at http://www.redbird.org/rassef-faq.html
Sue Mason for TAFF!
Richard Brandt
>
> rsbr...@netscape.net (Richard Brandt) wrote in
> <386A70B6...@rgfn.epcc.edu>:
>
> >P Nielsen Hayden wrote:
> >>
> >> uaob...@earthlink.net (Ulrika O'Brien) wrote in
> >> <MPG.12d2da52f...@news.earthlink.net>:
> >>
> >> [re the LASFS]
> >>
> >> >The challenge lies in
> >> >injecting sufficient good humor into any given account to keep
> >> >mere truthfulness from seeming mean-spirited.
> >>
> >> Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.
> >>
> >> I've been to that kind of fan gathering. Ow.
> >
> >Sir, you have no idea.
>
> Bet me.
I shall only mention the club member who apparently
swore off bathing with the onset of winter, if not sooner.
At least his social skills were superior to most of the other
participants'.
--
===Richard Brandt is at http://www.spaceports.com/~rsbrandt===
"Weekly pregnancy test kits are awarded."
-- one really odd contest prize
Loren MacGregor
>
> P Nielsen Hayden wrote:
> >
> > rsbr...@netscape.net (Richard Brandt) wrote in
> > <386A70B6...@rgfn.epcc.edu>:
> >
> > >P Nielsen Hayden wrote:
> > >>
> > >> uaob...@earthlink.net (Ulrika O'Brien) wrote in
> > >> <MPG.12d2da52f...@news.earthlink.net>:
> > >>
> > >> [re the LASFS]
> > >>
> > >> >The challenge lies in
> > >> >injecting sufficient good humor into any given account to keep
> > >> >mere truthfulness from seeming mean-spirited.
> > >>
> > >> Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.
> > >>
> > >> I've been to that kind of fan gathering. Ow.
> > >
> > >Sir, you have no idea.
> >
> > Bet me.
>
> I shall only mention the club member who apparently
> swore off bathing with the onset of winter, if not sooner.
> At least his social skills were superior to most of the other
> participants'.
-Anyone- who has been in fandom for any length of time has those
kinds of stories.
For example, there was someone who used to attend the Nameless.
When I'd bring new people to Horizon Books for a meeting, I'd ask
them if they were familiar with the Kliban cartoon, "Robert lived in
Vermont and ate the heads off of chocolate bunnies," because if they
said yes, I'd say, "You're about to meet him. Tell me when you spot
him." And they'd see a likely prospect and say, "Robert!" and he'd
turn around and say, nasally, "Yes?" Because his name, as it
happens, was Robert. (There were several other Roberts who were NOT
"Robert," by the way.)
One year in late November a friend of mine felt sorry for him and
asked him home to share Thanksgiving dinner with his family. Within
a short while, the politeness of everyone had been buffed off by
Robert's repeated comments like, "What's this? It looks horrible.
I'm not going to eat it," or "This isn't anything like what I used
to have; don't you know how to cook turkey," and on and on and on.
Finally he was banished to the kitchen to finish his meal alone.
Yet in spite of all his quirks and tics and foibles, he was
basically a good-hearted person -- he just had less than no idea how
to express himself socially. "Less than no idea" in this case means
he thought he know -exactly- how to express himself, but was
seriously wrong.
And he's just one of many.
I've been one of many in exactly that circumstance, too. It is not
pleasant to recall the time when I was called into my manager's
office at work to be told that my work was exceptional but that my
coworkers were complaining that I neither bathed nor changed my
clothes often enough to suit them.
Well, things change. At least, one hopes so.
-- LJM
Evelyn C. Leeper
> >Certainly one SF variation might be for everyone to bring one wrapped
> >mass-market paperback.
> >
>
> One year, I recall ending up with a Barry Malzberg novel from the gift
> exchange. I commented I didn't think a Barry Malzberg novel was worth a
> quarter. Craig Miller offered me a quarter for the book, and I took it.
> Craig then said he could sell any SF hardback to Sherrie Gottlieb at Change
> of Hobbit for a dollar. I'm glad he had something in mind. I'd hate to
> think his taste in SF was that bad.
Of course, I actually like Malzberg's novels.
--
Evelyn C. Leeper, http://www.geocities.com/evelynleeper
The artist is a kind of prison from which the works of art escape.
--Jean Cocteau
Bruce Baugh
>In fact, parliamentary surrealism has a long history in several fan
>clubs.
As Mark Jones used to say, how better to run the ship of state aground
than to seize the wheel!
--
Bruce Baugh / bruce...@sff.net
"Never let it be be said, especially by large men with guns, that
I failed to help." - Dave Weinstein
Ulrika O'Brien
explained :
> In article <8EAC88E...@166.84.0.240>, p...@panix.com (P Nielsen Hayden) wrote:
>
> >In fact, parliamentary surrealism has a long history in several fan
> >clubs.
>
> As Mark Jones used to say, how better to run the ship of state aground
> than to seize the wheel!
When LASFS is at its best -- rare, lately -- it's more like running
aground the ship of state by seizing the "Whee!".
Gary Farber
: When LASFS is at its best -- rare, lately
Consistent, though. You're quite aware, I'm sure, of the many articles
asserting this since 1936.
Damn Daugherty projects. And that damn Laney.
It's never been the same since the death of the Science Fiction League,
you know. How could it be?
But Bjo helped clear stuff up.
Oh, wait, Ken Rudolph's recent SHAGGY's are pretty cool. . . .
: -- it's more like running
: aground the ship of state by seizing the "Whee!".
Actually, I'd note to Patrick that LASFS was doing loop-de-loops around
hilarious parliamentary procedure for decades before even MITFIS existed,
let alone NESFA. Which he knows, but was surely thinking of something
else.
--
Copyright 1999 by Gary Farber; For Hire as: Web Researcher; Nonfiction
Writer, Fiction and Nonfiction Editor; gfa...@panix.com; Northeast US
Gary Farber
: In article <#UJ0eznU$GA.172@cpmsnbbsa05>,
: Milt Stevens <Sardo...@email.msn.com> wrote:
:> Evelyn C. Leeper wrote in message <84dqht$2...@nntpa.cb.lucent.com>...
:> >Certainly one SF variation might be for everyone to bring one wrapped
:> >mass-market paperback.
:> >
:> LASFS has run this sort of a forced gift exchange for many years. ...
:>
:> One year, I recall ending up with a Barry Malzberg novel from the gift
:> exchange. I commented I didn't think a Barry Malzberg novel was worth a
:> quarter. Craig Miller offered me a quarter for the book, and I took it.
:> Craig then said he could sell any SF hardback to Sherrie Gottlieb at Change
:> of Hobbit for a dollar. I'm glad he had something in mind. I'd hate to
:> think his taste in SF was that bad.
: Of course, I actually like Malzberg's novels.
Wackily enough, a number of folk think he's been quite brilliant at times,
though also someone who took on too many contracts when he could, and who
thus wrote too many similar novels too close together.
Barry is, IMO, a hero of sf, actually, whose career deserves long and
close analysis, as an agent, a prosletyzier, a critic, and also as a
writer.
But slamming him is an old and long habit. Too bad Franz Rottenzsteiner
isn't still around, or Stanislaw Lem, or the rest of the evial New
Wave. All hail J. J. Pierce.
Doug Wickstrom
Murphy) excited the ether to say:
>I can't think of a symbolic meaning for the bird clock, though.
I think it was cheap.
--
Doug Wickstrom
"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."
--Lee DeForest
Kip Williams
>
> On Tue, 28 Dec 1999 16:16:51 GMT, an...@world.std.com (Ailsa N
> Murphy) excited the ether to say:
>
> >I can't think of a symbolic meaning for the bird clock, though.
>
> I think it was cheap.
Your response has us all atwitter here.
--
--Kip (Williams)
amusing the world at http://members.home.net/kipw/
P Nielsen Hayden
<84hdcp$hrl$3...@news.panix.com>:
>Actually, I'd note to Patrick that LASFS was doing loop-de-loops
>around hilarious parliamentary procedure for decades before even
>MITFIS existed, let alone NESFA. Which he knows, but was surely
>thinking of something else.
I was thinking that my post entailed an opinion about who might be the
real "killer ninjas" of this fannish pasttime, not an assertion about
who played the game first.
I understand correcting misstatements of fact. I'm not sure why a joke
which neither contains nor implies misstatements requires a correction.
Unless, of course, historical primacy in fannish parliamentary banter
really is ranked in terms of "killer ninja"-hood. Perhaps we could
simply run all of our whimsical remarks past you in advance for your
approval.
Avedon Carol
>Actually, I'd note to Patrick that LASFS was doing loop-de-loops around
>hilarious parliamentary procedure for decades before even MITFIS existed,
>let alone NESFA. Which he knows, but was surely thinking of something
>else.
Yeah, but George Flynn _is_ an Ascended Perfect Master.
Marilee J. Layman
<nims...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>On Tue, 28 Dec 1999 16:16:51 GMT, an...@world.std.com (Ailsa N
>Murphy) excited the ether to say:
>
>>I can't think of a symbolic meaning for the bird clock, though.
>
>I think it was cheap.
They're advertised on late-night TV.
--
Marilee J. Layman Co-Leader, The Other*Worlds*Cafe
relm...@aol.com A Science Fiction Discussion Group
Web site: http://www.webmoose.com/owc/
AOL keyword: BOOKs > Chats & Message > SF Forum > The Other*Worlds*Cafe
Kevin J. Maroney
>For example, there was someone who used to attend the Nameless.
>When I'd bring new people to Horizon Books for a meeting, I'd ask
>them if they were familiar with the Kliban cartoon, "Robert lived in
>Vermont and ate the heads off of chocolate bunnies," because if they
>said yes, I'd say, "You're about to meet him. Tell me when you spot
>him." And they'd see a likely prospect and say, "Robert!" and he'd
>turn around and say, nasally, "Yes?" Because his name, as it
>happens, was Robert. (There were several other Roberts who were NOT
>"Robert," by the way.)
For no discernable reason, I just laughed so hard it made my sides
hurt, and I'm about to start giggling kjsda;falkj again.
Thank you.
--
Kevin Maroney | kmar...@crossover.com
Kitchen Staff Supervisor, New York Review of Science Fiction
http://www.nyrsf.com
P Nielsen Hayden
<rj9q6sso0sqqnuk13...@4ax.com>:
>Loren MacGregor <churn...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>
>>For example, there was someone who used to attend the Nameless.
>>When I'd bring new people to Horizon Books for a meeting, I'd ask
>>them if they were familiar with the Kliban cartoon, "Robert lived in
>>Vermont and ate the heads off of chocolate bunnies," because if they
>>said yes, I'd say, "You're about to meet him. Tell me when you spot
>>him." And they'd see a likely prospect and say, "Robert!" and he'd
>>turn around and say, nasally, "Yes?" Because his name, as it
>>happens, was Robert. (There were several other Roberts who were NOT
>>"Robert," by the way.)
>
>For no discernable reason, I just laughed so hard it made my sides
>hurt, and I'm about to start giggling kjsda;falkj again.
I'm one of the people Loren did this to, mumblety er um years ago. Had
no trouble picking out who he meant, either. 'Struth.
Loren MacGregor
It may then please you to know that there was a comic store employee
in another town who -also- looked very much like RLIVATHOOCB ... and
whose name was -also- Robert.
For the record, Robert Lichtman (as just one example) does -not-
look as if he eats the heads off of chocolate bunnies.
-- Loren, escaping from New Jersey
Janice Gelb
P. Nielsen Hayden wrote in message <8EAAA1D...@166.84.0.240>...
>
>It's amazing how some things in fandom never change. I have never
>been to a LASFS meeting...and yet every time I hear a report of
>one, it sounds like just the mixture of inspired lunacy and
>overcrowded infantilism described by Burbee, Laney, and Rotsler in
>their fanwritings of the 1940s.
>
I first got into fandom in Atlanta and was in a Southern apa
called MYRIAD. Mike Glyer was our Foreign Member and at that
time he was secretary of LASFS and ran the minutes through
the apa. For years, we thought he was making most of them
up. It was only when I moved to LA that I realized they were
all factual reporting!
*********************************************************************
Janice Gelb | Just speaking for me, not Sun.
janic...@eng.sun.com | http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8018/
"The legal system prevents us from killing each other. The
etiquette system prevents us from driving each other crazy."
-- Miss Manners
Kip Williams
>
> In <750p6s802g8jnj930...@4ax.com>, Doug Wickstrom
> <nims...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>
> >On Tue, 28 Dec 1999 16:16:51 GMT, an...@world.std.com (Ailsa N
> >Murphy) excited the ether to say:
> >
> >>I can't think of a symbolic meaning for the bird clock, though.
> >
> >I think it was cheap.
>
> They're advertised on late-night TV.
They're also in Parade magazine (Sunday supplement to many newspapers).
And in the coupon section of a couple of papers here.
Alison Hopkins
Alan Woodford wrote in message <386be872....@news.demon.co.uk>...
>Thanks for the advice. I think a mobile phone has just shot off over
>the horizon, though.
>
>My phone provider has just sent me notification of a change in their
>charging systems. It looks as though my bill will go up 50+% in
>February.
Urg. My sympathies.
>
>Anybody know BT's Number :-)
<g> Probably worth considering; I've never moved away from them for local
stuff, and with Premier it's a good deal. I use a cheap bulk carrier for
overseas. Primus goves a damn good deal on US rates, and their new
subsidiary (Planet One?) is even cheaper at 3 pence a minute. Mind you, for
US to UK, there's a company called IDT who charge 10 cents a minute and are
very good. This compares with the utterly obscene rates that hotels or BT's
charge card impose.
>
>Alan "I hate Telewest Communications" Woodford
Ah. Telewest. That says it! :)
Ali
Ulrika O'Brien
<Sardo...@email.msn.com>, explained :
>
> Evelyn C. Leeper wrote in message <84dqht$2...@nntpa.cb.lucent.com>...
> >Certainly one SF variation might be for everyone to bring one wrapped
> >mass-market paperback.
> >
> LASFS has run this sort of a forced gift exchange for many years. Even
> books don't work all the time. For years, copies of "Zotz" kept showing up
> in the gift exchange. It was science fiction (sort of), and it was a
> hardback book. However, it must have been so overprinted that you could
> pick up copies for a quarter. It finally became the unstated rule that you
> better have a pretty good gag attached to it if you wanted to put a copy of
> "Zotz" in the gift exchange.
This, presumably, is what eventually evolved into the explicit rule
about the "Crud call" option. If the recipient of a gift feels that
it isn't actually worth whatever the minimum dollar value of a gift
is that year, that recipient can "call crud" on it, to send it back
to the original donor. Unless someone else is willing to trade for
it, in which case the crud caller must accept the trade. Thus
whatever is packaged along with a silly or otherwise gag gift is
called "crud insurance".
[snip]
> There were a number of non-book items that showed up for years in the LASFS
> gift exchange. There was a flatbed mimeo which was reputedly once owned by
> Benjamin Franklin. There was also an actual chocolate covered manhole
> cover. It kept coming back every year, because what else could you do with
> a chocolate covered manhole cover.
To be strictly honest, though, the "chocolate covered manhole cover"
was actually more of an access cover, technically speaking.
Definitely for covering some sort of street pavement access hole, but
only about 9" inches in diameter. I know because, having been
working for Lex Nakashima during the year he was the keeper of the
cover, I have actually chocolate-coated it myself, in the lead up
to Christmas one year. The old chocolate coating had gotten
rather decidedly tatty and nasty over the years, and I got the
happy task of getting all the old chocolate off -- chipped and pried,
followed by repeated rinses in boiling water -- and putting a new
coating on. I haven't been in close proximity to it since, but I
would presume it's still circulating, since it comes
with a charge to pass it on the next year.
Kate Nepveu
> No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
> lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
> get?
My grandmother, who loves us and means well, is famous for giving just
_baffling_ gifts to all and sundry. Last year, the highlight was the
replica _Titanic_ necklaces for my mother and I: neither of us wear
bulky jewelry, and I haven't even seen _Titanic_ (nor do I want to)...
This year, Christmas felt quite odd, as gift after gift from my
grandmother turned out to be useful and fairly tasteful: a fleece
blanket and a nice earring-necklace set (which my aunt assisted with,
but all the same) for me, some sweaters for my parents...
...until I unwrapped the porcelain koala bear statue and took it out of
the box (dislodged Styrofoam bits clinging madly everywhere). It was
about six inches tall and an odd mix of the cuddly and the realistic--
whimsically cute facial expression plus serious-looking claws. (I
should add, by way of disclaimer, that I have no particular interest in
Australia, possess no other large animal figures, and have sufficient
knick-knacks to decorate my bookshelves and desk.) In a way, it was
almost reassuring, as it removed the need to demand, "Who are you, and
what have you done with my grandmother?!"
The koala bear is, at the moment, sitting in a closet at my parents'
house. I have no idea what I will do with it--I put it there so I could
easily show it to friends--so if anyone out there has a thing for
koalas, just let me know...
Kate
--
http://lynx.neu.edu/k/knepveu/ -- The Paired Reading Page; Reviews
"I rise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save)
the world and a desire to enjoy (or savour) it. This makes it hard
to plan the day." --E.B. White
Kate Nepveu
> <FnGL8...@world.std.com>:
> >Pity we can't all trade, I'd love the multiwick candles.
> The "Malibu" group, a weekly lunch gathering of NYC publishing types
> from the book and comics industries (Teresa's a regular, I'm not) has
> an annual custom: every Wednesday after Christmas, everybody brings
> their most unwanted presents, and trading ensues.
Since my mother is a preschool teacher, she accumulates many Christmas
presents, some of which ended up in the "recycle box" in our old
basement. For a few years, at her suggestion, I would go down and pick
out the best items from the recycle box for a Yankee swap with my
girlfriends (which we did after our real Yankee swap). It was a fun
tradition which, alas, will have to wait a few years to be resumed,
because the old recycle box was discarded during my parents' recent
move, and the new one hasn't yet accumulated enough items.
Kevin J. Maroney
>The koala bear is, at the moment, sitting in a closet at my parents'
>house. I have no idea what I will do with it--I put it there so I could
>easily show it to friends--so if anyone out there has a thing for
>koalas, just let me know...
Crucify it upside down in your back yard. It's the only way to be
sure.
Alison Scott
>No moral, except that it's set me wondering if anyone else has been
>lumbered this Christmas - if so, what species of white elephant did you
>get?
My mother finds my attitude to Christmas presents irritating.
Roughly...
Is it useful?
Is it beautiful?
No? Right, well it's brand new, so it doesn't have any sentimental
value; let's get it down to the charity shop quick before it acquires
some.
Some things are useful and/or beautiful but nevertheless duplicate
things we already have; in which case we keep them as (hopefully not)
mathoms to give to other people.
But we give away whole heaps of stuff, oh yes.
--
Alison Scott ali...@fuggles.demon.co.uk & www.fuggles.demon.co.uk
Multiple award-losing fanzine: www.moose.demon.co.uk/plokta
News and views for SF fans: www.plokta.com/pnn
Kip Williams
>
> Kate Nepveu <kate....@yale.edu> wrote:
>
> >The koala bear is, at the moment, sitting in a closet at my parents'
> >house. I have no idea what I will do with it--I put it there so I could
> >easily show it to friends--so if anyone out there has a thing for
> >koalas, just let me know...
>
> Crucify it upside down in your back yard. It's the only way to be
> sure.
A friend of mine says koalas are evil, and if they weren't zonked on
eucalyptus leaves all day, they'd rip your throat out. He knows a lot
about animals.
Martin Wisse
>"Kevin J. Maroney" wrote:
>>
>> Kate Nepveu <kate....@yale.edu> wrote:
>>
>> >The koala bear is, at the moment, sitting in a closet at my parents'
>> >house. I have no idea what I will do with it--I put it there so I could
>> >easily show it to friends--so if anyone out there has a thing for
>> >koalas, just let me know...
>>
>> Crucify it upside down in your back yard. It's the only way to be
>> sure.
>
>A friend of mine says koalas are evil, and if they weren't zonked on
>eucalyptus leaves all day, they'd rip your throat out. He knows a lot
>about animals.
It seems to me he's confusing Koalas with Dropbears. Koalas are nice and
cuddly, as long as you leave them alone, Dropbears otoh only look nice
and cuddly but are nasty little buggers. They're responsible for a
number of death each year, mostly of tourists. The Dropbear got its
name, because it lives high up on trees and literally drops down on its
prey and rips the prey's throat out. Even that guy on Discovery Channel
with the madon for dangerous wildlife leaves them alone...
Martin Wisse
--
I made this!
...
...
You must be *very* proud
Doug Wickstrom
>"Kevin J. Maroney" wrote:
>>
>> Kate Nepveu <kate....@yale.edu> wrote:
>>
>> >The koala bear is, at the moment, sitting in a closet at my parents'
>> >house. I have no idea what I will do with it--I put it there so I could
>> >easily show it to friends--so if anyone out there has a thing for
>> >koalas, just let me know...
>>
>> Crucify it upside down in your back yard. It's the only way to be
>> sure.
>
>A friend of mine says koalas are evil, and if they weren't zonked on
>eucalyptus leaves all day, they'd rip your throat out. He knows a lot
>about animals.
They like golden showers, too. Dunno if that's relevant, but
it's true, anyway.
--
Doug Wickstrom
"We're working on getting rid of unnecesary regulations and making them more
sensible." --Bill Clinton
Kip Williams
>
> On Tue, 04 Jan 2000 00:43:27 GMT, Kip Williams <ki...@home.com> wrote:
>
> >"Kevin J. Maroney" wrote:
> >>
> >> Kate Nepveu <kate....@yale.edu> wrote:
> >>
> >> >The koala bear is, at the moment, sitting in a closet at my parents'
> >> >house. I have no idea what I will do with it--I put it there so I could
> >> >easily show it to friends--so if anyone out there has a thing for
> >> >koalas, just let me know...
> >>
> >> Crucify it upside down in your back yard. It's the only way to be
> >> sure.
> >
> >A friend of mine says koalas are evil, and if they weren't zonked on
> >eucalyptus leaves all day, they'd rip your throat out. He knows a lot
> >about animals.
>
> cuddly, as long as you leave them alone, Dropbears otoh only look nice
> and cuddly but are nasty little buggers. They're responsible for a
> number of death each year, mostly of tourists. The Dropbear got its
> name, because it lives high up on trees and literally drops down on its
> prey and rips the prey's throat out. Even that guy on Discovery Channel
> with the madon for dangerous wildlife leaves them alone...
He only says it when there are koalas in front of us, either on TV or in
another medium. "Look at his eyes! He's checking out your throat!" It's
a good theory, but he means koalas. He's said it for years, and I doubt
that he'd stop if I invoked dropbears. I might try it, though. Good
conversational gambit.
Patrick Connors
: I once managed to get a pun fine at a NESFA meeting based on parliamentary
: surrealism. In relatively quick succession, three successive motions to
: strike something from the record were made, and as the latter two were made
: as amendments, all three were active. Debate started on the latest one, but
: realizing what had happened, I jumped up with a point of parliamentary
: procedure; there could be no further debate on any of the motions as what
: was now going on was an undebatable motion to adjourn.
: After all, three strikes and you're out.
I move that we award this man a RASFF award.
--
Patrick Connors | "You can't have everything.
pmc@ | Where would you put it?"
primenet com |
Jason Stokes
>In fact, parliamentary surrealism has a long history in several fan
>clubs. The true killer ninja practitioners of the art are, of course,
>NESFA, tutored as they are by their Ascended Perfect Master, George
>Flynn.
Sounds like student politics. I knew a guy who turned up to student
association meetings for the entertainment value; he likened it to a
fun game of nomic, the game of procedural and meta-procedural procedure
manipulation.
--
Jason Stokes: js...@bluedog.apana.org.au