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P Nielsen Hayden

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Mar 6, 2001, 11:21:48 AM3/6/01
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[Followups set to rec.arts.sf.fandom.]


When I talk about Jenna Felice, I often use the phrase "feral child."
And I don't mean anything untoward by it; indeed, I mean it as a
compliment. I mean she's someone who, despite her youth, has spent
more years taking care of herself than many people a decade older than
her. By the time Jenna she in her early teens, almost everyone in her
birth family was dead or in jail. She more or less raised her younger
sister herself. I don't know a lot about this part of her life, aside
from a magazine essay she once wrote (and sold) about being the
survivor of a family destroyed by AIDS. For me, the camera first
zooms in on Jenna in 1992, when she came to Tor as an intern from
Hunter College High School. She was sixteen.

She was a terrific intern -- mouthy, funny, perceptive, immensely
practical and direct. A great fit for Tor, an organization that tends
to favor self-starters. Which is another way of saying we tend to be
less efficiently organized than we ought to be, so that the kind of
people who flourish at Tor tend to be people with a certain kind of
confidence and flair -- people willing to roll up their sleeves and
remake the universe as seems sensible to them. Jenna had that kind of
fearlessness from the start.

So when, a few years later, I needed a new full-time, on-staff
editorial assistant, Jenna was the obvious choice. And an outstanding
assistant she turned out to be. In a very real sense a senior book
editor is only as good as his or her assistant, and Jenna was very
good indeed. She made it her business to know everybody, not just at
Tor (where our growth has long outstripped my ability to remember who
all the new faces are) but all the people who get stuff done in the
service departments of St. Martin's and Holtzbrinck. Jenna could make
the bureaucracy jump through hoops of fire. Packages held up at a
Canadian customs broker? Warehouse making it hard to mail Nebula-
nominated books to everyone in SFWA? Need to cut a check instantly
and ship it by overnight mail to Brazil? Jenna knew how to make it
happen. She was Radar O'Reilly with a tough, sometimes dismissive,
often exasperated, always funny, and very Brooklyn attitude.

And she's smart. All through this time she was working with Rob
Killheffer on CENTURY, the excellent (if maddeningly infrequent)
small-press magazine of ambitious, edgy SF. She was an insightful
editorial reader for me. She has canny self-taught taste and
judgment. She has a knack for spotting talented people and making
friends with them. She can be kind, and she can be tough. Being a
good editor entails all of these qualities. That she had them was
evident when she was an intern and when she was my assistant. So in
the natural course of things, eventually she was promoted, becoming a
full editor at 21 -- the youngest in the SF book industry today.

Which under the best of circumstances would be a stressful thing to
be. And real life never happens under the best of circumstances.
Jenna can also be dismissive, tactless, and wrongheaded. I've wanted
to drop-kick her out the 14th floor of the Flatiron Building at times.
No doubt she's wanted to do the same to me. We are very similar in
some ways, and baffle one another in others. Our relationship as
friends and colleagues has always been a little wary, punctuated by
moments of hilarious self-recognition. Every so often, we've had the
refreshing ability to call one another on each other's bullshit.

Fade to present.

Sunday evening, as she was alone in her apartment preparing to go out,
Jenna -- always a severe asthmatic -- suffered a sudden, sharp, nearly
overwhelming asthma attack. She managed to call 911, and then
evidently staggered to the front door of some neighbors who are
medical students. They administered immediate first aid, but when the
ambulance arrived just a few minutes later, she was no longer
breathing and her extremities were blue. She was intubated in the
ambulance. When the ambulance arrived at the ER just a few blocks
away, she was going into cardiac arrest.

The ER people did what ER people do; and well, as far as we can tell.
Her heart was restarted. She went into seizure, twice; she was then
sedated in order to prevent her from tearing the intubation free.

36 hours later, she's still unconscious in critical condition. Her
color, we're told, is good; her blood is fine; her internal organs all
work. She is, however, entirely unresponsive. Is it simply because
of the sedation? Could be. But her brain spent several minutes -- we
don't know exactly how many -- starved of oxygen.

The doctors and nurses -- I haven't spoken directly to any of them,
but I have first-hand reports of conversations with them -- have been
blunt. We don't know how damaged she is. Neither the best nor the
worst outcomes are at all out of the question.

We don't know if she's still there.

I want her to still be there.

I don't know what's realistic to hope for.

I don't know whether to start mourning, to pray, to yell at the sky.

We won't really know for days to come.

I walk past Jenna's office at Tor and the light is on and the first
thing I think in that first microsecond is "Oh, good, Jenna's back,"
and of course it turns out to be someone else in there looking for
something, and all the insupportable, barely real, impossible-to-
encompass news of the last day and a half comes back to me.

I want her to open her eyes and say something rude and be really
appalled by this piece of writing I'm about to post. I want her back.


--
Patrick Nielsen Hayden : p...@panix.com : http://www.panix.com/~pnh

P Nielsen Hayden

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Mar 6, 2001, 11:27:01 AM3/6/01
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On 6 Mar 2001 16:21:48 GMT,
P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:


>[Followups set to rec.arts.sf.fandom.]


Of course, being tired and distracted, I managed to set followups to
rec.arts.sf.written instead.

I'm setting followups to _this_ message to rec.arts.sf.fandom, but I
fear I've merely made a mess.

Soren deSelby

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Mar 6, 2001, 11:48:03 AM3/6/01
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In article <slrn9aa3v...@pnh-1.dsl.speakeasy.net>, p...@panix.com wrote:
>On 6 Mar 2001 16:21:48 GMT,
> P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
>
>
>>[Followups set to rec.arts.sf.fandom.]
>
>
>Of course, being tired and distracted, I managed to set followups to
>rec.arts.sf.written instead.
>
>I'm setting followups to _this_ message to rec.arts.sf.fandom, but I
>fear I've merely made a mess.
>

Thank you, Patrick. I've been trying to write something about Jenna, and
haven't been able to. It's awful to just have to wait.

________
no unity with traitors
no compromise with thieves

Kate Schaefer

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Mar 6, 2001, 12:33:14 PM3/6/01
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"P Nielsen Hayden" <p...@panix.com> wrote in message
news:slrn9aa3v...@pnh-1.dsl.speakeasy.net...
[about Jenna Felice's severe asthmatic attack and uncertain prognosis
thereafter]

I've encountered her fierce grin and sharp intelligence, and wanted to see
more of her. I'm waiting and hoping with you.


Avram Grumer

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Mar 6, 2001, 1:48:14 PM3/6/01
to

> We won't really know for days to come.

Oh, geez. I know Jenna only slightly (present tense intentional, dammit),
but I'm waiting too.

--
Avram Grumer | av...@grumer.org | http://www.PigsAndFishes.org

"Soon everyone will be playing with a wireless device in their pocket."
-- from Unplugged Games business plan

Dan Goodman

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Mar 6, 2001, 2:04:40 PM3/6/01
to
On 6 Mar 2001 16:27:01 GMT, p...@panix.com (P Nielsen Hayden) wrote:

>On 6 Mar 2001 16:21:48 GMT,
> P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
>
>
>>[Followups set to rec.arts.sf.fandom.]
>
>
>Of course, being tired and distracted, I managed to set followups to
>rec.arts.sf.written instead.

Which, it seems to me, is an appropriate place for it.

>I'm setting followups to _this_ message to rec.arts.sf.fandom, but I
>fear I've merely made a mess.
>
>--
>Patrick Nielsen Hayden : p...@panix.com : http://www.panix.com/~pnh


Dan Goodman
dsg...@visi.com
Whatever you wish for me, may you have twice as much.
http://www.visi.com/~dsgood/index.html
Whatever you wish for me, may you have twice as much.

Jo Walton

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Mar 6, 2001, 2:55:47 PM3/6/01
to
In article <slrn9aa3l...@pnh-1.dsl.speakeasy.net>

p...@panix.com "P Nielsen Hayden" writes:

> I walk past Jenna's office at Tor and the light is on and the first
> thing I think in that first microsecond is "Oh, good, Jenna's back,"
> and of course it turns out to be someone else in there looking for
> something, and all the insupportable, barely real, impossible-to-
> encompass news of the last day and a half comes back to me.
>
> I want her to open her eyes and say something rude and be really
> appalled by this piece of writing I'm about to post. I want her back.

I only met her last year. She was bright and funny and passionate and
interesting to talk to. She remembered that I wanted a copy of _The
Sand Reckoner_ and sent it to me when it came out. I want to know her
better. I want her back too, and I hardly knew her. This must be so
awful for you. And waiting not knowing is always so unbearable.

There's this terrible urge at moments like this to shout at the universe
that it isn't being fair, as if it would, this time, maybe, take some
notice. All that energy. All that life. How can that not count?

And there's absolutely nothing that can help. I shall pray, and I shall
think distant hopeful thoughts in Jenna's direction, that she will wake
up the way you suggest.

Please let us know how she goes on.

--
Jo J...@bluejo.demon.co.uk
I kissed a kif at Kefk
Locus Recommended First Novel: *THE KING'S PEACE* out now from Tor.
Sample Chapters, Map, Poems, & stuff at http://www.bluejo.demon.co.uk

Marilee J. Layman

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Mar 6, 2001, 5:46:36 PM3/6/01
to
On 6 Mar 2001 16:21:48 GMT, p...@panix.com (P Nielsen Hayden) wrote:

>
>[Followups set to rec.arts.sf.fandom.]

I got it.

>When I talk about Jenna Felice, I often use the phrase "feral child."
>And I don't mean anything untoward by it; indeed, I mean it as a
>compliment. I mean she's someone who, despite her youth, has spent
>more years taking care of herself than many people a decade older than
>her. By the time Jenna she in her early teens, almost everyone in her
>birth family was dead or in jail. She more or less raised her younger
>sister herself. I don't know a lot about this part of her life, aside
>from a magazine essay she once wrote (and sold) about being the
>survivor of a family destroyed by AIDS. For me, the camera first
>zooms in on Jenna in 1992, when she came to Tor as an intern from
>Hunter College High School. She was sixteen.

Oh dear. When you started this way, I paged to the bottom. Oh dear.
Jenna used "fucking" every third word when I met her, and as shocking
as that was to me, I really liked her. I was comatose for 6 weeks and
came back with most of my brain intact. I hope she does better.

<big snip>

--
Marilee J. Layman
Bali Sterling Beads at Wholesale
http://www.basicbali.com

Lori Coulson

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Mar 6, 2001, 5:57:16 PM3/6/01
to

: > We won't really know for days to come.

Avram Grumer (av...@grumer.org) wrote:

: Oh, geez. I know Jenna only slightly (present tense intentional, dammit),


: but I'm waiting too.

Would she have objected to someone she doesn't know lighting a
candle for her? I have minor problems with asthma and allergies and am
thinking there but for the grace of the Goddess go I...

Waiting with you,

Lori Coulson
--
*****************************************************
...Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver...
Just around the riverbend? Pocahontas
*****************************************************

Joel Rosenberg

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Mar 6, 2001, 6:07:07 PM3/6/01
to
Aiee! Please give her my best, and let me know when she's well. I
don't know Jenna well, but I like her a lot.

Kevin J. Maroney

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Mar 6, 2001, 8:08:24 PM3/6/01
to
On 6 Mar 2001 16:21:48 GMT, p...@panix.com (P Nielsen Hayden) wrote:
>But her brain spent several minutes -- we
>don't know exactly how many -- starved of oxygen.

So did Arthur's.

I can't convey how much I hope she comes through this as well.

--
Kevin J. Maroney | kmar...@ungames.com
"Love doesn't have a point. Love *is* the point."--Alan Moore

Lis Carey

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Mar 6, 2001, 8:08:51 PM3/6/01
to
p...@panix.com (P Nielsen Hayden) wrote in <slrn9aa3lb.irv.pnh@pnh-
1.dsl.speakeasy.net>:

>
>[Followups set to rec.arts.sf.fandom.]
>
>
>When I talk about Jenna Felice, I often use the phrase "feral child."
>And I don't mean anything untoward by it; indeed, I mean it as a
>compliment. I mean she's someone who, despite her youth, has spent
>more years taking care of herself than many people a decade older than
>her. By the time Jenna she in her early teens, almost everyone in her
>birth family was dead or in jail. She more or less raised her younger
>sister herself. I don't know a lot about this part of her life, aside
>from a magazine essay she once wrote (and sold) about being the
>survivor of a family destroyed by AIDS. For me, the camera first
>zooms in on Jenna in 1992, when she came to Tor as an intern from
>Hunter College High School. She was sixteen.
>
>She was a terrific intern -- mouthy, funny, perceptive, immensely
>practical and direct. A great fit for Tor, an organization that tends
>to favor self-starters. Which is another way of saying we tend to be
>less efficiently organized than we ought to be, so that the kind of
>people who flourish at Tor tend to be people with a certain kind of
>confidence and flair -- people willing to roll up their sleeves and
>remake the universe as seems sensible to them. Jenna had that kind of
>fearlessness from the start.

<snip>

I hope that you get what you want on this--that she wakes up and
recovers enough to be her old self

--

Lis Carey

Re-elect Gore in '04

Cally Soukup

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Mar 6, 2001, 7:53:58 PM3/6/01
to
In rec.arts.sf.fandom P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:

> 36 hours later, she's still unconscious in critical condition. Her
> color, we're told, is good; her blood is fine; her internal organs all
> work. She is, however, entirely unresponsive. Is it simply because
> of the sedation? Could be. But her brain spent several minutes -- we
> don't know exactly how many -- starved of oxygen.

> The doctors and nurses -- I haven't spoken directly to any of them,
> but I have first-hand reports of conversations with them -- have been
> blunt. We don't know how damaged she is. Neither the best nor the
> worst outcomes are at all out of the question.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I've got my fingers crossed for Jenna.

--
"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend
to the death your right to say it." -- Beatrice Hall

Cally Soukup sou...@pobox.com

Steven H Silver

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Mar 6, 2001, 9:22:40 PM3/6/01
to
I've never met Jenna, but, of course, I'm familiar with some of her
work. She sounds like an extremely interesting person. I certainly
hope she recovers and, from a selfish point of view, that I get to
meet her at some date.

Steven

Rachel Brown

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Mar 6, 2001, 10:29:33 PM3/6/01
to
I never even heard of Jenna until now, but it sounds like we have a fair
amount in common. I really hope she recovers.

I happen to be in the middle of trying to set it up so I can teach first
aid and CPR to my dojo (I used to do that professionally). I don't know if
Jenna's neighbors were any help at all-- sometimes one's best efforts
aren't enough-- but I'm definitely going to make a harder push both to get
as many people as I can to show up.

If you haven't ever taken a class, or if it's been a long time since the
last one, this might be a good time to sign up for one.

Rachel

She was a vixen when she went to school,
And though she be but little, she is fierce

William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"

Kip Williams

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Mar 6, 2001, 10:35:11 PM3/6/01
to

Yes, I hope so too.

--
--Kip (Williams)
amusing the world at http://members.home.net/kipw/

Dave Weingart

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Mar 6, 2001, 10:43:37 PM3/6/01
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One day in Teletubbyland, p...@panix.com said:
>I don't know whether to start mourning, to pray, to yell at the sky.

What a hell of a thing to come back to RASFF to after the high
of Consonance.

Damn.

I don't know at this point what the status is, but any positive
energy I have is hereby Patrick's to redirect as needed.
--
73 de Dave Weingart KA2ESK Consonance 2001! Urban Tapestry!
mailto:phyd...@liii.com Mike Stein! Oh, yeah, and some guy
http://www.liii.com/~phydeaux named Dave Wein-something-or-other.
ICQ 57055207 http://www.consonance.org

Lenny Bailes

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Mar 7, 2001, 12:05:45 AM3/7/01
to
In article <slrn9aa3l...@pnh-1.dsl.speakeasy.net>
p...@panix.com "P Nielsen Hayden" writes:

> I walk past Jenna's office at Tor and the light is on and the first
> thing I think in that first microsecond is "Oh, good, Jenna's back,"
> and of course it turns out to be someone else in there looking for
> something, and all the insupportable, barely real, impossible-to-
> encompass news of the last day and a half comes back to me.
>
> I want her to open her eyes and say something rude and be really
> appalled by this piece of writing I'm about to post. I want her back.

It is very painful news. I know Jenna as the "cow
ephemera" collector, supreme, and emissary of Century Magazine.

I'm sending beams -- as they say over on the Well.

--
Lenny Bailes | len...@slip.net | http://userwww.sfsu.edu/~lennyb

fairest one

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Mar 7, 2001, 12:42:00 AM3/7/01
to
In rec.arts.sf.fandom P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
<snip>

: 36 hours later, she's still unconscious in critical condition. Her


: color, we're told, is good; her blood is fine; her internal organs all
: work. She is, however, entirely unresponsive. Is it simply because
: of the sedation? Could be. But her brain spent several minutes -- we
: don't know exactly how many -- starved of oxygen.

: The doctors and nurses -- I haven't spoken directly to any of them,
: but I have first-hand reports of conversations with them -- have been
: blunt. We don't know how damaged she is. Neither the best nor the
: worst outcomes are at all out of the question.

: We don't know if she's still there.

: I want her to still be there.

: I don't know what's realistic to hope for.

my dad spent five weeks in a coma this fall. he is now out of the
hospital, and is doing well. he's cleared to go back to work, he's
driving around town, he sounds fine, he looks fine if a little skinny.

while he was in the hospital, it sure didn't seem like that was a
realistic thing to hope for. but it's what we got, and i'm okay with that,
y'know?

he was non-responsive for the first several weeks. in hindsight, it looks
like it was the sedation. i am hoping that that will be what's going on
with jenna, as well, and that she'll also come out of it a bit confused
but pretty much okay.

to pass on a frustrating piece of information, the way that i understand
it is that they will not be able to do useful neurological testing while
she is sedated, because the sedation changes the neurological responses.
that's what they kept telling us, in any case.

: I don't know whether to start mourning, to pray, to yell at the sky.

i did most of those things. not so much yelling at the sky, but it was
*cold* here in november and december.

take care of yourself, too. take care of each other. and go talk to
her. (my dad doesn't remember a bit of those five weeks, but it helped
me. all i could do, most of the time, was be there and talk to him
some. so that's what i did.)

betsy.
--
"I think when my litter was being taught these skills, I was back
in the den dismembering a vole." --jon carroll, sfgate, 12.07.00

P Nielsen Hayden

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Mar 7, 2001, 12:46:19 AM3/7/01
to
On Wed, 07 Mar 2001 05:42:00 GMT,
fairest one <kall...@visi.com> wrote:


>take care of yourself, too. take care of each other. and go talk to
>her. (my dad doesn't remember a bit of those five weeks, but it helped
>me. all i could do, most of the time, was be there and talk to him
>some. so that's what i did.)


We're organizing a schedule of Tor people to visit her over the next
several days. Melissa Singer has volunteered to manage the duty
roster.

Nobody around here is going gentle anywhere if we have anything to say
about it.

Vera Nazarian

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Mar 7, 2001, 3:08:46 AM3/7/01
to
On 6 Mar 2001 16:27:01 GMT, p...@panix.com (P Nielsen Hayden) wrote:

>I'm setting followups to _this_ message to rec.arts.sf.fandom, but I
>fear I've merely made a mess.

No problem, Patrick.

Wishing the best outcome possible, and you just wait and see, Jenna
*will* be sitting in her office again, before the end of the month!

--

~ Vera Imagine a world without color...

LORDS OF RAINBOW, an epic fantasy first novel.

DREAMS OF THE COMPASS ROSE, a "hybrid" short story collection,

Both coming soon from Wildside Press in 2001. (trade paperback & hardcover)

http://www.veranazarian.com

Ken MacLeod

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Mar 7, 2001, 4:09:20 AM3/7/01
to
In article <slrn9abip...@pnh-1.dsl.speakeasy.net>, P Nielsen
Hayden <p...@panix.com> writes

>
>We're organizing a schedule of Tor people to visit her over the next
>several days. Melissa Singer has volunteered to manage the duty
>roster.
>
>Nobody around here is going gentle anywhere if we have anything to say
>about it.
>

Good. My good wishes to you all in bringing her back.

--
Ken MacLeod

David Goldfarb

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Mar 7, 2001, 5:57:18 AM3/7/01
to
I never knew nor even knew of Jenna Felice till your post, Patrick,
but she sounds like she's cool. My sympathies, and wishes of luck.

--
David Goldfarb <*>|
gold...@ocf.berkeley.edu | Private .sig -- please do not read.
aste...@slip.net |
gold...@csua.berkeley.edu |

Gunslinger

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Mar 7, 2001, 8:30:45 AM3/7/01
to

<Note: A copy of this usenet post has been sent to the cited author>

>--
>Patrick Nielsen Hayden : p...@panix.com : http://www.panix.com/~pnh


Although I am rather new to this NG and rasff, I know how hard it is to lose
someone close to you so suddenly, and send my best hopes and wishes to you in
this time of need...if I had any good luck left myself, I would send that along
too

Nick "Gunslinger" Marsala, MoBster, CO of the Hansen's Roughriders faction on
just about every irc campaign there ever was..

"Hell is just a word, the reality is my home"


D. Potter

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Mar 7, 2001, 9:36:47 AM3/7/01
to
Patrick wrote:

>>"I want her to open her eyes and say something rude and be really
appalled by this piece of writing I'm about to post. I want her back."<<

I'm sending along GoodThoughts and Healing Wishes, particularly for Jenna, but
some for you.

--
D.

Chris Croughton

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Mar 7, 2001, 7:29:28 AM3/7/01
to
On 6 Mar 2001 16:21:48 GMT, P Nielsen Hayden
<p...@panix.com> wrote:

>36 hours later, she's still unconscious in critical condition. Her
>color, we're told, is good; her blood is fine; her internal organs all
>work. She is, however, entirely unresponsive. Is it simply because
>of the sedation? Could be. But her brain spent several minutes -- we
>don't know exactly how many -- starved of oxygen.

This makes three people in the last three days I'm lighting candles for.
One died of cancer yesterday, one is expected to go at any moment and
now your friend. I haven't known her (although from your message I
feel as though I have), but that doesn't stop it hurting.

As in the other cases, I'm also sending thoughts and prayers for the
people affected. If you can use virtual hugs, you have those as well.

Chris C

Avedon Carol

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Mar 7, 2001, 1:22:02 PM3/7/01
to

Yeah, what he said.

--
Avedon

"At holiday parties, Republican political operatives boasted freely about
their success in snaring the White House. A common refrain, told in a
joking style, was: 'We stole the election fair and square.'" (Robert Parry)

Eimear Ni Mhealoid

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Mar 7, 2001, 1:51:59 PM3/7/01
to

Avedon Carol <ave...@cix.co.uk> wrote in message
news:chucat8nomroclrkm...@4ax.com...

> On Wed, 7 Mar 2001 09:09:20 +0000, Ken MacLeod
> <k...@libertaria.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >In article <slrn9abip...@pnh-1.dsl.speakeasy.net>, P Nielsen
> >Hayden <p...@panix.com> writes
> >>
> >>We're organizing a schedule of Tor people to visit her over the next
> >>several days. Melissa Singer has volunteered to manage the duty
> >>roster.
> >>
> >>Nobody around here is going gentle anywhere if we have anything to say
> >>about it.
> >
> >Good. My good wishes to you all in bringing her back.
>
> Yeah, what he said.

Me too.

--
Eimear Ni Mhealoid

Loren Joseph MacGregor

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Mar 7, 2001, 2:23:49 PM3/7/01
to
In rec.arts.sf.fandom, P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
>On Wed, 07 Mar 2001 05:42:00 GMT,
> fairest one <kall...@visi.com> wrote:

>>take care of yourself, too. take care of each other. and go talk to
>>her. (my dad doesn't remember a bit of those five weeks, but it helped
>>me. all i could do, most of the time, was be there and talk to him
>>some. so that's what i did.)

>We're organizing a schedule of Tor people to visit her over the next
>several days. Melissa Singer has volunteered to manage the duty
>roster.

>Nobody around here is going gentle anywhere if we have anything to say
>about it.

My first message on the subject apparently fell off the net,
and this is probably a good thing.

I hope and pray for the best for everyone concerned, most especially
Jenna.

-- LJM

Martin Wisse

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Mar 7, 2001, 3:57:33 PM3/7/01
to

My thoughts are with you. Strength and my best wishes.

Martin Wisse
--
...British writers all eventually get around to
the smell of overcooked cabbage.
-Lucy Kemnitzer, rasseff

Robert B. Marks

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Mar 7, 2001, 3:56:06 PM3/7/01
to

P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote in message
news:slrn9aa3l...@pnh-1.dsl.speakeasy.net...

> We don't know if she's still there.
>
> I want her to still be there.
>
> I don't know what's realistic to hope for.
>
> I don't know whether to start mourning, to pray, to yell at the sky.
>
> We won't really know for days to come.
>
> I walk past Jenna's office at Tor and the light is on and the first
> thing I think in that first microsecond is "Oh, good, Jenna's back,"
> and of course it turns out to be someone else in there looking for
> something, and all the insupportable, barely real, impossible-to-
> encompass news of the last day and a half comes back to me.
>
> I want her to open her eyes and say something rude and be really
> appalled by this piece of writing I'm about to post. I want her back.

You have my prayers. Somebody that promising should not be taken so soon.

Best regards to all,

Robert Marks

--
"There are more things in Heaven and Hell than any mortal man
could dream."
- From Demonsbane

Current: Demonsbane; Pocket Books
http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/delric


Pamela Dean Dyer-Bennet

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Mar 7, 2001, 4:13:12 PM3/7/01
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p...@panix.com (P Nielsen Hayden) writes:

>On Wed, 07 Mar 2001 05:42:00 GMT,
> fairest one <kall...@visi.com> wrote:
>>take care of yourself, too. take care of each other. and go talk to
>>her. (my dad doesn't remember a bit of those five weeks, but it helped
>>me. all i could do, most of the time, was be there and talk to him
>>some. so that's what i did.)

>We're organizing a schedule of Tor people to visit her over the next
>several days. Melissa Singer has volunteered to manage the duty
>roster.

Tell her I'll write another book!

Well, it can't hurt. I mean it, tell her, if you're telling her stuff.

>Nobody around here is going gentle anywhere if we have anything to say
>about it.

I met her at one of the later Fourth Streets; she was pure energy and
just delightful in that setting. I'm so sorry about this.

--

Pamela Dean Dyer-Bennet (pd...@demesne.com)
"I will open my heart to a blank page
and interview the witnesses." John M. Ford, "Shared World"

Joyce Reynolds-Ward

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Mar 7, 2001, 6:28:34 PM3/7/01
to
On 6 Mar 2001 16:21:48 GMT, p...@panix.com (P Nielsen Hayden) wrote:

I hope and pray Jenna comes out of this just fine, Patrick.

I *hate* this sort of thing. Too damn close to home.

I mean, as an asthmatic and a mother of an asthmatic, it's the sort of
thing we always have to stop and think about. Even today, with the
array of powerful asthma medications, it's still a big killer, and far
too many people don't take it seriously. It can go real bad on you
really fast. I have had far too many scary moments with my son,
especially since he's a cough-variant asthmatic who doesn't start
wheezing until things are truly horrible and scary. Cigarette smoke
can trigger some awful horrible coughing reactions on his part, so bad
that we've had medical folks come up and inquire if we needed help.

I lost one of my former bosses, a true-to-his-ideals lefty former
state representative, to an asthma attack like this. I hadn't worked
for Wally for many years and certainly didn't know that he was
asthmatic--but it was asthma which killed him.

<Glowers at the crowd>. And as for the rest of you--don't take asthma
lightly! Encourage asthmatic friends and relatives to get their
asthma under control and develop a management plan (check out the
National Jewish Lung Center, they're the primary source for good info
on this). Don't screw around with asthma!

jrw

John Kensmark

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Mar 8, 2001, 1:49:13 AM3/8/01
to
P Nielsen Hayden wrote:

> When I talk about Jenna Felice, I often use the phrase "feral
> child."

It took me a long time to respond to this because I kept trying to
think of something appropriate to say, but, really, there isn't any
possible such. There's only one appropriate outcome, and, very
greatly unfortunately, nothing I can say here can weigh toward that.

What keeps occurring to me is how suddenly, jarringly, unfairly
these things happen. I'm reminded of Ambrose Bierce's definition of
"Abrupt", which is fittingly ironic:

ABRUPT, adj. Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a
cannon-shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests
are most affected by it.

It's a terrible thing to hear; it must be much more terrible to go
through. Certainly, my heart and thoughts are with you and with
Jenna.

--
John Kensmark kensmark#hotmail.com

Shimo Suntila

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Mar 8, 2001, 3:43:24 AM3/8/01
to
Until now I've never heard of Jenna before, but she sounds exactly
like a person I'd like to meet. Meeting and working with that sort of
people is one of those things that keep me a fandom active. And some
day, I hope, I'll meet Jenna. My best wishes go with her and all her
friends at Tor and elsewhere.

- Shimo
--
Shimo Suntila, sh...@utu.fi \ Scifi * Fantasia * Anime * Tähtien sota /
http://users.utu.fi/siilsu/ \ Spin * Vapaa Galaksi * Kosmoskynä /
I stamped out those tin toys because the sig on my screen told me to.

Ninni Pettersson

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Mar 8, 2001, 12:39:24 PM3/8/01
to
Ken MacLeod <k...@libertaria.demon.co.uk> wrote:

And mine too, and lots of encouragement and hope.

/Ninni Pettersson

--
Ninni Pettersson - Stockholm - Sweden
Mail-adress is vidumavi at swipnet dot se

Heather Anne Nicoll

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Mar 8, 2001, 3:32:22 PM3/8/01
to
P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
> Nobody around here is going gentle anywhere if we have anything to say
> about it.

I've been trying to come up with something useful to say, and failing
utterly.

I'm lighting a candle for her.

*helpless gesture*

--
Heather Nicoll - Darkhawk - http://aelfhame.net/~darkhawk/
Not heaven or hell, just the land between.
-- VNV Nation, "Joy"

Alison Hopkins

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Mar 8, 2001, 5:12:31 PM3/8/01
to

Lori Coulson wrote in message <983q0c$5m5$1...@acme.gcfn.org>...
>: In article <slrn9aa3l...@pnh-1.dsl.speakeasy.net>, p...@panix.com
wrote:
>
>: > We won't really know for days to come.
>
>Avram Grumer (av...@grumer.org) wrote:
>
>: Oh, geez. I know Jenna only slightly (present tense intentional,
dammit),
>: but I'm waiting too.
>
>Would she have objected to someone she doesn't know lighting a
>candle for her? I have minor problems with asthma and allergies and am
>thinking there but for the grace of the Goddess go I...
>
>Waiting with you,
>


Piggybacking. I have never met Jenna, but I think I'd like her very much.
And I hope that the outcome is such that there is some future chance that
our paths may cross.

Ali


Jim Toth

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Mar 8, 2001, 10:29:40 PM3/8/01
to
On Wed, 7 Mar 2001 09:09:20 +0000, Ken MacLeod
<k...@libertaria.demon.co.uk> wrote:


Mine as well.

--
Jim Toth
jt...@acm.org

Rob Hansen

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Mar 9, 2001, 5:14:32 AM3/9/01
to
On Thu, 08 Mar 2001 00:49:13 -0600, John Kensmark
<kensmark@see_below.com> wrote:

>P Nielsen Hayden wrote:
>
>> When I talk about Jenna Felice, I often use the phrase "feral
>> child."
>
>It took me a long time to respond to this because I kept trying to
>think of something appropriate to say, but, really, there isn't any
>possible such. There's only one appropriate outcome, and, very
>greatly unfortunately, nothing I can say here can weigh toward that.
>

What he said. I hope things work out for Jenna, Patrick.
--

Rob Hansen
=============================================
Home Page: http://www.fiawol.demon.co.uk/rob/

RE-ELECT GORE IN 2004.

Ed Dravecky III

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Mar 10, 2001, 10:18:07 AM3/10/01
to
In rec.arts.sf.fandom P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
<snip>

> I don't know what's realistic to hope for.

Hope for the best and know that she's a fighter.
My thoughts are with you (and Jenna).

> I want her to open her eyes and say something rude and be
> really appalled by this piece of writing I'm about to post.
> I want her back.

Read your post to her. Talk to her. Tell her she's got a bunch
of folks around the planet (some of whom had never so much as
heard her name before your post) pulling for her swift recovery.

--
Ed Dravecky III
ed3 at panix dot com

Elspeth Kovar

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Mar 11, 2001, 7:50:04 PM3/11/01
to
Ed Dravecky III wrote:
>
> In rec.arts.sf.fandom P Nielsen Hayden <p...@panix.com> wrote:
> <snip>
> > I don't know what's realistic to hope for.
>
> Hope for the best and know that she's a fighter.
> My thoughts are with you (and Jenna).

And mine.

> > I want her to open her eyes and say something rude and be
> > really appalled by this piece of writing I'm about to post.
> > I want her back.
>
> Read your post to her. Talk to her. Tell her she's got a bunch
> of folks around the planet (some of whom had never so much as
> heard her name before your post) pulling for her swift recovery.

And keep talking and reading to her. Tell her what is going on, help
the part of her mind that can still hear stay part of the world. Don't
let her be in silence; let her know that the world, people, and her
friends are still there for her. Give her something to come back to.

Were there something we could do . . . But the best that can be managed
here is to pull for her, and for the people who care so much for her.

Elspeth

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