On Tue, 14 Dec 2021 14:38:58 GMT, djh...@kithrup.com
>In article <8a1grg1jfad685lml...@4ax.com
>>The blackjack dealer slid a card from the shoe to the square in front
>>of me and then took one for herself. My other knew I had a queen and
>>she a six, but to maintain my disguise as a normal person, I lifted
>>the corner of mine for a quick peek. The next cards, dealt face up,
>>were an eight for me and a jack for her.
>>What would you do different?
>Well: is this the opening of the story, or an extract from later?
>If it's an extract, perhaps you'd want to introduce "my other" in
>some not-too-explain-y way. Appparent they can sense predetermined
>order, which exists in the present, but can't predict random
>actions that will happen in the future? (This almost makes
>I am handicapped in this discussion by knowing damn-all about
>blackjack--it is blackjack, isn't it?
>Possibly an opening paragraph might help, on the order of
>"We walked into the casino, my other and I. I heard the rattle
>of dice, the nervous chatter of voices, smelled high-quality
>booze and cheap perfume. But my other fed me the order of cards
>in the deck, one deck becoming clear as it finished its last
>shuffle, and [whatever else the other can see because it exists
>in the present.]"
>But it's an interesting concept. Go with it.
This is the opening.Yes, it's blackjack. You draw cards until you're
as high as possible without going over 21, and then whoever has the
highest hand wins. In casinos, the dealer has to stand on 17 and above
and draw on 16 or less.
One problem I've had is making sure there's no hint of another
person/body involved, as in "significant other." I've learned that if
a reader gets an idea there are two people, nothing will shake it
loose. Even when told, by other characters' statements/actions they
see only one person, the reader will still think there are two, but
maybe one is a ghost, or invisible, or . . .
I considered: ". . . My other way of seeing showed I had a queen . .
.," . . . "My unseen other eyeball looked through the cards . . .,"
and . . . "My magic-induced other sight showed . . .," but nothing
along these lines feels right.
That he only sees things that are fixed adds, I think, on two
different levels. It prevents him from being omniscient (and leading a
perfect life), and it makes him wonder if there are people whose
others can see the future (he doesn't know the source of his 'gift').
There might be a later scene with him in a non-casino card game. He
knows the next card will give him a full house, but what he's dealt is
different. He instantly knows his opponent is dealing seconds, but he
can't call him out on it ("I psychically knew what my next card would
be" won't win you any friends at the poker table) .