Teenage Daughter???

[* *Sharon McElroy* *]

.
To those who have a teenage daughter
who is dating, or about to date, I
thought you might get a chuckle out
of this form, which should be filled
out by the guy who wants to date your
daughter....

APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Name: Last___________First__________M.I.__________
Age:______Date of Birth:_________S.S.#____________
Address:__________________________________________
Parents:__________________ ______________________
1. Do you own a van? (If so, please discontinue
_________________ filling out form NOW)
2. In 50 words or less, describe what *no* means to you:
____________________________________________________
3. In 50 words or less, describe what *late* means to you:
____________________________________________________
4. Where would you least like to be shot?______________
5. Which is the last bone you want broken?_____________
6. What do you want to be IF you grow up?______________
7. What is my daughter's name?_________________________
8. Do you have any dental records?_____________________
If so, Dr's. name:_________________File #___________
9. Do you have any identifiable marks?_________________
10. How long can you tread water?_______________________
11. How long can you hold your breath?__________________
12. Are you claustrophobic or have any phobias?_________
13. How fast can you run the 100 yd dash?_______________
14. Do you think you could out-maneuver a full size truck?
____________________________________________________
15. Any server allergies (bee stings, ant bites, etc?___
16. How long do you think a person could live without
bloodflow to the brain?_____________________________
17. How you ever tried dialing 911 with your nose?______
18. Who, besides God, should you fear the most?_________
19. Do you have any last words?_________________________

Parental Use Only:
Appearance (looks like):
Cheech & Chong ____
Mike Tyson ____
Willie Nelson ____
Richie Cunningham ____
Status:
Accepted ____
Pending ____
No !@$#/&! way ____

[Bob Mottram]

> APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
>

> 1. Do you own a van? (If so, please discontinue
> _________________ filling out form NOW)

No, but I do own a cat.

> 2. In 50 words or less, describe what *no* means to you:

Yes please

> 3. In 50 words or less, describe what *late* means to you:

The point at which you collapse, due to lack of sleep and/or alcohol
consumption.

> 4. Where would you least like to be shot?______________

On Linthorpe road.

> 5. Which is the last bone you want broken?_____________

Little toe (it's of not much use for anything)

> 6. What do you want to be IF you grow up?______________

Ruler of the Infinite Expanse

> 7. What is my daughter's name?_________________________

Babe.

> 8. Do you have any dental records?_____________________

No. <Shows teeth>

> 9. Do you have any identifiable marks?_________________

Top marks scored in mathematics, physics and biology.

> 10. How long can you tread water?_______________________

Without aqualung, indefinitely.

> 11. How long can you hold your breath?__________________

About 2 minutes whilst snorkeling.

> 12. Are you claustrophobic or have any phobias?_________

None.

> 13. How fast can you run the 100 yd dash?_______________

100m in about 15 seconds :-(

> 14. Do you think you could out-maneuver a full size truck?

Easily.

> 15. Any server allergies (bee stings, ant bites, etc?___

Dislike Novell Netware.

> 16. How long do you think a person could live without
> bloodflow to the brain?_____________________________

About 3 minutes before permanent brain damage.

> 17. How you ever tried dialing 911 with your nose?______

No, but I've tried other positions.

> 18. Who, besides God, should you fear the most?_________

I fear no man (or deity).

> 19. Do you have any last words?_________________________

"So long, and thanks for all the fish"