Lily Floating

[brian shin]

Lily Floating

Monet's Lilies are floating
on the polished marble on
which I walk. The Water's blue
draws blood from its enemy
green, the colors pouring forth
onto my face. The white spark
of the lilies' flower calls
to me like your face in a
crowded room. Oh! The first glimpse
of your cream skin peeping from
behind your silken hair
shook me from my daze like a
phone ringing away daydreams.
To hear your tender voice now,
whispering advice over
my open ears, would mean more
than a woman's lips upon
my shoulders. After I first
saw your smile, I knew you
to be a beautiful rose
opening to the sun, or
perhaps the Lily in the
Monet painting before me.
But now your hand rises up
from the water to grasp mine
and pull me into your world.
But don't think this means
I like you.

---just a short little fun thing.
brian

[John Adam Kaune]

* not bad... you might want to avoid the redundancy of "painting," later on -
just use "lily" or "monet" and we'll clue in. Or, send this to h.a.joyce and
perhaps get a sublime rewrite. But one does not necesssarily have to cloak
things in mysterious fragments in an effort to render some sacred image as
poetic - the obvious does well at times, I suppose. Comments: "cream skin
peeping" just doesn't work - it's awkward. Same with "To hear your tender...
my shoulders". Other than that, I like.
Here's something related:

monet's old studio is a gift shop
.................................

I received the dream of the six gardens:
wandering the peculiarities of light -
painting again the damp stacks of hay
by the edge of the Seine, eating lunch.
the old man's celebration
of a simple pond of lilies -
the reflection of long-armed willows
hanging limp in remembrance
of modernity. please, can i return
to the studio now, so i can buy
that small reproduction? thank you.

May 24/94
John Adam Kaune