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Usenet's Greatest Poet / gjd

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George J. Dance

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Jun 2, 2022, 7:36:35 AM6/2/22
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Guess Who?

I'm usenet's greatest poet,
At least that's what they say.
The Village People love my work
And I'm not even gay.

The most prolific poet
The internet has known,
I've written fifty thousand poems
In the past week alone.

I sit at my computer
And dream of South and North,
And just like vomit from a drunk
The poems come gushing forth.

It's sometimes hard to type them,
They all come out so fast,
And some of them are really long
While some are just half-vast.

I've never learned poetics;
I know that I don't need 'em
Because I simply write the poems;
Let other people read 'em.

Oh once Bob Dylan phoned me
But didn't praise my work
So I hung up on him. He's just
A pissbum and a jerk.

I know he's simply jealous,
Like all those guys, of me.
That's why they bury all my stuff;
It's a conspiracy.

I know I could be published
And everyone would buy,
But knowing the conspiracy
Why would I even try?

So I just stay on usenet
Where true success depends,
Not on your money, or your fame,
But on your online friends.

I'm friends with half a dozen
True poets just like me.
(Sometimes we write, sometimes we fight
With the conspiracy.)

They say my poems are perfect,
And all I have to do
Is thank all six, and tell them all
Their poems are perfect, too.

~~
GJD
Message has been deleted

Zod

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Jun 4, 2022, 3:05:14 PM6/4/22
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On Saturday, June 4, 2022 at 12:29:01 PM UTC-4, HC wrote:
>
> I don’t wish you any harm

I do not wish you any harm either, Corey.....!

General-Zod

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Jun 4, 2022, 3:20:13 PM6/4/22
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On Saturday, June 4, 2022 at 3:14:23 PM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> Stop your harassment.

Okay, I will not respond to your posts ever again, is that better...?

Zod

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Jun 5, 2022, 5:25:15 PM6/5/22
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On Thursday, June 2, 2022 at 12:13:18 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> On 2022-06-02 10:40 a.m., Michael Pendragon wrote:
> > The funny thing is that you seem to be describing Will Donkey in the above... except that Will hasn't got six friends.
> I'm glad you found a way to enjoy it. No names are mentioned, so a
> reader's free to apply it to whomever they think it fits.
>
> I could say more, but maybe later; it's noon already, and I have to get
> some work done.

Hope you have time today....!

General-Zod

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Jun 6, 2022, 6:20:15 PM6/6/22
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Second read, quite excellent poetry....

George J. Dance

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Jun 6, 2022, 7:12:10 PM6/6/22
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Thanks, Zod. I appreciate your trying to get the thread back to the OP.

Maybe "excellent" is to high praise, but I am happy with it. The meter's
good, and it's one I've never used before. As for the content, it is
satire, so it's meant to be humorous rather than profound, and I'd say
it works there, too.

It doesn't belong on the blog or wiki, but I do have a section of mainly
satire on other poets in the /Doggerel/ book -- if I expand that section
in the collected volume I'm planning, this will fit right in.



W-Dockery

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Jun 6, 2022, 7:40:13 PM6/6/22
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It would go well on a lampoon blog.

By the way, the poem definitely isn't about me.

For example, I was never friends with the guy from the Village People.

🙂

Rocky Stoneberg

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Jun 7, 2022, 5:50:14 PM6/7/22
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I was in the Navy, though... ha ha.

W.Dockery

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Jun 7, 2022, 8:00:18 PM6/7/22
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Reminds me of a poet I know.

🙂

W-Dockery

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Jun 9, 2022, 8:55:15 PM6/9/22
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I know more about Horatio Hornblower's influence on Star Trek than I do Horatio Nelson's influence on the Hornblower character, but from what I've just read on Google, Horatio Hornblower was indeed based partially on Horatio Nelson.

HTH and HAND.

W.Dockery

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Jun 9, 2022, 10:05:22 PM6/9/22
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Like I said:

I know more about Horatio Hornblower's influence on Star Trek than I do Horatio Nelson's influence on the Hornblower character, but from what I've just read on Google, Horatio Hornblower was indeed based partially
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^°^^^^^^^^^^^

on Horatio Nelson.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The character was "based partially" on Nelson.

HTH and HAND.

George J. Dance

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Jun 10, 2022, 4:54:52 AM6/10/22
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On 2022-06-08 6:51 p.m., Will Dockery wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 8, 2022 at 6:34:36 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
>> On 2022-06-06 8:14 p.m., Ash Wurthing wrote:
>>> So your "poetry book" is satire of other poets?
>>
>> Not all of it, silly; but the month of April (NaPoMo) is mainly that.
>>
>>> Seeing your satire work here and how nasty you have become, I'm sure your satire is "Dogshitflinging" with gratuitous use of "jism"!
>>
>> I can't think of any stupider idea than debating one of my poems with
>> someone who's never read it. If you'd like, since as I said they don't
>> have a permanent home online, I could repost them as new threads, one
>> by-one, and you could comment after you know what you're talking about.
>
> There's new interest in your Unsampled series also, perhaps the time is right to bring that, as well.

Unsampled was never meant to be a regular series. When Senetto began
purging poems, and then poets, the second time around, I started
Unsampled as a place for them, so people could read what was cut as well
as what was "accepted", but I never had interest in turning it into a
competitor to the Sampler. The original idea of a magazine-style poetry
thread open to the entire group made sense, but the idea of a one open
to a self-selected few isn't something that appeals to me. I can
understand the appeal to you, as a writing prompt, but writing new
poetry is not a priority with me.

I would like to see more poetry here, and I think reposting the "April"*
poems from /Doggerel/ as stand-alones would be the best way to do that,
as it increases the chance of their being seen and read in future. Even
if most of the replies, as in this thread, are garbage, they at least
bump the threads and give the OP more visibility. At the least, anyone
venturing in here will be aware that I have written poetry, and know
that much about me.

There are 8 poems in that part of the book -- posting them twice a week
would mean they'd all be reposted in a month -- so that looks like the
best frequency. Then, depending on how it works out, I might do the same
with "May".

(* - not to be confused with /April/ magazine, of course).

George J. Dance

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Jun 10, 2022, 5:48:48 AM6/10/22
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I see "Professor NancyGene" has returned to challenge your claim. So,
while I'm not all that interested in Hornblower and Nelson, I was
interested enough to do my own googling.

Here's a website I found by Kyra Cornelius Kramer. She's not a literary
expert; according to her bio, she's

"an author and freelance medical anthropologist. She had BS degrees in
both biology and anthropology from the University of Kentucky, as well
as a MA in medical anthropology from Southern Methodist University."

So she's just an amateur who knows something of the subject. How much, I
can't say; but then, I can't say how much if anything Prof. NG knows
about it either. So Kramer's opinion at least balances that off.

"One of Nelson’s most interesting legacies is that he was the obvious
model for Horatio Hornblower, the navy officer in a series of
best-selling early 20th century novels by C. S. Forester. In turn, the
protagonist of the Forester novels was the source of Gene Roddenberry‘s
inspiration when he created his famous starship captains James T. Kirk
and Jean-Luc Picard."
http://www.kyrackramer.com/2018/09/29/horatio-nelson-hornblower-prototype-and-hero-of-trafalgar/

Kramer doesn't get into the similarities, but one that I noticed from
her article is that Nelson got seasick. According to the Wikipedia
article on Hornblower, that was a recurring motif in the novels:
Hornblower "suffers from seasickness at the start of each of his voyages."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horatio_Hornblower#Inspirations







W-Dockery

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Jun 12, 2022, 3:00:16 PM6/12/22
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>> I think it works as fun rather
> than coming across as malice because no names are mentioned. Nobody
> hurts, nobody cries.

It sure seems fun, as so many here seem to want a piece of the action.

;)

W.Dockery

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Jun 12, 2022, 4:00:15 PM6/12/22
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George J. Dance wrote:
Again, this is a good start on listing what is similar with Horatio Nelson and the Horatio Hornblower character.

Again, I don't claim to be an expert so can only go with what I find on the topic from searching the internet.

HTH and HAND.

Victor H.

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Jun 12, 2022, 4:20:13 PM6/12/22
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The two have many definite similarities, Nancy G. must know this....

Rocky Stoneberg

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Jun 13, 2022, 5:50:16 PM6/13/22
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https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/entertainment/books/1994/12/25/for-the-love-of-a-sailor/87290743-d0da-4780-8d5e-afa14bd9be86/

*************Nelson was used by C.S. Forester as inspiration and model for Horatio Hornblower, the fictional seaman who in the course of a dozen novels rises through the Royal Navy from midshipman to lord admiral, along the way fighting a number of engagements notably similar to Nelson's.*******************

W-Dockery

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Jun 14, 2022, 11:10:18 AM6/14/22
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https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/49a7-W02I0E/ydzf1mrlCgAJ

Speaking of mind-boggling ignorance, Michael Pendragon has plenty of it to spare:

"I'd simply burn the garbage churned out by no-talent phonies like Bukowski, Kerouac and Ginsberg." -Michael Pendragon

HTH and HAND.

W.Dockery

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Jun 16, 2022, 9:55:14 AM6/16/22
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I also named 5-6 poems by you that I think are good, Corey, while Pendragon has a fantasy of burning everything written by Charles Bukowski, Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg, apparently.

Can Pendragon name five poems from Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac and Charles Bukowski that are good, worth seeing?

W.Dockery

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Jun 16, 2022, 10:20:14 AM6/16/22
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Charles Bukowski, Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg are three of the most critically acclaimed and popular poets of the 20th Century, yet you want to burn all their poetry.

Since you're also an unknown and unsuccessful poet, it sounds like not only your poor taste in poetry causing your extreme reaction, but also some jealousy, Pendragon.

HTH and HAND.

Victor H.

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Jun 16, 2022, 3:55:15 PM6/16/22
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantasy_(psychology)


************* In psychology, fantasy is a broad range of mental experiences, mediated by the faculty of imagination in the human brain, and marked by an expression of certain desires through vivid mental imagery. Fantasies are associated with scenarios that are absolutely impossible.
************

Victor H.

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Jun 16, 2022, 4:15:12 PM6/16/22
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Cujo DeSockpuppet wrote:

> NancyGene <nancygene...@gmail.com> wrote in
> news:092f7dfb-c300-4302...@googlegroups.com:
>
>>
>> Will Dockery, please give us a reason why your judgment on poetry can
>> be trusted.

> Because he's a musician, dammit. Good enough?

Something we can agree on for once...!


Will Dockery
Columbus, GA, United States

https://soundcloud.com/will-dockery

Victor H.

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Jun 16, 2022, 5:05:12 PM6/16/22
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What is the count now G.D....

Does everyone think this poem is about them...?

W-Dockery

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Jun 16, 2022, 8:10:16 PM6/16/22
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I'm sure everyone knows who this poem is about.

🙂

W-Dockery

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Jun 16, 2022, 9:25:16 PM6/16/22
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George J. Dance wrote:

> On 2022-06-02 10:40 a.m., Michael Pendragon wrote:
>> On Thursday, June 2, 2022 at 7:36:34 AM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
>
>> The funny thing is that you seem to be describing Will Donkey in the above... except that Will hasn't got six friends.

> I'm glad you found a way to enjoy it. No names are mentioned, so a
> reader's free to apply it to whomever they think it fits.

> I could say more, but maybe later; it's noon already, and I have to get
> some work done.


Like George Dance said, if it makes you feel better to pretend the poem is about me, then enjoy yourself.

🙂

George J. Dance

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Jul 8, 2022, 1:29:19 AM7/8/22
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> I don't care who you are, that's funny.
>
> 🙂

Yes, it still holds up after a month's reading. And, as you say, it
doesn't matter whom it's about. So I think it's earned its place in the
revision.



W.Dockery

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Jul 27, 2022, 2:20:18 AM7/27/22
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Agreed and seconded.

🙂

Victor H.

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Jul 28, 2022, 7:00:26 PM7/28/22
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No shit Sherlock.... ha ha...

W-Dockery

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Jul 29, 2022, 6:40:13 PM7/29/22
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Lest we forget, this poem was written in response to a challenge from Jim Senetto, which Senetto declined to respond to.

HTH and HAND.

W-Dockery

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Aug 9, 2022, 11:50:44 AM8/9/22
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More on point than ever.

🙂

W.Dockery

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Aug 26, 2022, 10:51:43 AM8/26/22
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Looks like you struck a nerve.

🙂

W-Dockery

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Sep 1, 2022, 2:05:31 AM9/1/22
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Still hilarious, you nailed JS, George Dance.

🙂

W-Dockery

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Oct 20, 2022, 11:55:39 AM10/20/22
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Jim Senetto in a nutshell.

🙂

W-Dockery

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Nov 15, 2022, 4:01:04 PM11/15/22
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Robert Burrows wrote:
> A silly old fool

Look who's talking.

🙂

W.Dockery

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Dec 31, 2022, 7:35:14 PM12/31/22
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Lest we forget.

🙂
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