"Like Water For Chocolate" Review
Greg Eichelberger
>Like Water For Chocolate--even though I enjoyed the magic realism in the first
>half hour, I couldn't belief how sloppy and schlocky this film was.
Well said. In December I wrote sort of a review of this film for a person who
asked if it was a good movie to go see. I guess this would be as good a time
as any to revive my little opinion.
This is one of the worst films to come out of Mexico since "The Robot vs. The
Azrec Mummy" or "Samson vs. The Vampire Women". In fact, Mexican revolutions
were shorter and easier to follow than this picture. It starts out with a
woman who has three daughters, all from different husbands. The oldest is
a plain Jane, the middle is a mindless red-head and the youngest is supposed
to be a troubled, but beautiful dreamer. Anyway, this "stud" comes along and
steals the heart of the youngest. (Actually, I'm being kind when I say
"stud", seeing that Tor Johnson has more sex appeal than this loser). Since
he's supposed to be so good-looking, she falls brain-over-head in lust with
him. But there's the rub. You see, the mom comes from a culture where the
youngest daughter always stays single to take care of the mother in her old
age (what culture is that, Mormons or Koreans?!), so she nixes the affair.
Consequently, the "stud" proposes marriage to the ugly oldest sister, "just
to be close to you." he explains to the baby sis. In the meantime, one of
the silliest subplots in cinematic history invades the picture as a mangey
revolutionary army stops by and the goofy red-head goes off with one of the
lame Pancho Villa knock-offs, only to appear later, as of all things- a
GENERAL!! Well, anyway, the "stud" marries the older girl and impregnates
her. Then he commits adultry with the youngest sister. And even though
the director, Alfonso Arau, tries to make this a beautiful and special
union, it's still adultry. The youngest is then shipped to Texas where a
doctor practically throws himself at he feet. She leads him on and they
return to Mexico just in time for her mother to die. Then, in a haunting
scene that makes "The Ghost And Mr. Chicken" look like a scene from "Citizen
Kane", the now-dead mom keeps appearing to the youngest in a pane of glass.
Remember those old SCTV episodes that featured "Count Floyd" and the "Monster
Chiller Horror Theatres"? That's about how scary these ghost scenes are.
Finally the girl exorcises her mom's spirit from her life. (By the way, if
her mom came back to haunt her, would she have been repossessed?!) The woman
is then forced to choose betwen the rich, intelligent, successful, sensitive,
loving, kind, giving doctor who worships the ground she walks on, or the
brooding, jealous. lazy, unfaithful jerk she's in love with. Obviously,
since the "stud" is better-looking than the doctor, he is picked (sounds a lot
like life, doesn't it?!). Well, to make a long and confusing story a bit
shorter, we cut to 20 years later when the daughter of the oldest sister is
getting married and we get to see the two idiots (the "stud" and the youngest)
finally get to make love in one of the goofiest special effect scenes since
Ed Wood stopped making films. Evidentally, their passion was so hot that it
set off a chemical reaction, causing a lightening bolt to strike their bed,
immolating both of them. That's about the only funny scene in the whole
picture. And, of course, wrapped around the entire movie is this lame" food is
life" metaphor and how the "magic" of cooking can make dreams come true. The
food scenes in "Goodfellas" were much better done and many times more
appetitizing than in this turd of a film. And let's not even get into the
horrible dubbing that makes the "Godzilla" and "Gamera" movies look like
masterpieces.
So the bottom line is?
This was THE worst film I have ever seen simple because of its total
pretentiousness and lack of cohesion. There are certainly worst films out
there, but many of those were made on shoestring budgets or were meant as
camp. And even though the critics (almost en masse) lapped this urine up,
many thinking people, like myself, realized that it was the worst Mexican im-
port since "Montezuma's Revenge" or illegal aliens, take your pick.
Just the way I see it.
Greg Eichelberger
Abdul Malik Said
(Hiroshi Amari) wrote:
> Greg Eichelberger (i...@ccrwest.org) wrote:
> : On April 9, 1995, gmt...@pitt.edu <Gregory M. Thorson> wrote:
>
[childish, low-blow criticisms first]
>
> This was supposed to be a beautiful love story, but the love in this movie
> is very egoistic.
egoistic??? unrequited love that lasts through marriage, shattered dreams,
wars,... which movie did you watch??
> This movie is a formula movie with terrible execution.
OK, granted - a lot of Mexican magic realism looks the same. This is NOT a
terribly-executed formula, though! Given that it is formulaic, it does so
much with the formula: surrealism, comedy, legendary events, and the best
cooking scenes ever!
> It has oppressed love, food scenes, violence, nudity, and rural scenery
> that would make the movie attractive. However, all the ingredients have
> little reasons to be there. I never understand why nudity in this movie is
> necessary. I was offended by nudity that is ridiculous in the context.The
> story would be realistic only in animation.
Maybe you should have watched "Bambi" or "Aladdin", instead. Oh, sorry,
there's no nudity in either of them, so they must not be "attractive" to
you.
Let me get this straight, you were offended when the woman under the
effects of an unwittingly strong aphrodisiac meal runs out to have a cold
shower?? This is NOT (think about it) NOT out of context. Then, the
soldier, from miles away feels her lust, and comes running for her! Her
nudity while running out of the shower, off to join the revolution in a
fit of passion, is **PERFECT**.
> We do not know why they love
> each other so intensely, because they just like how they look.
So, what you're saying is WE don't know why they love each other, but YOU
know? That's very astute of you. The woman's sister is, by no means, ugly.
He tells her that probably because he wants to show he loves her. His love
makes all others ugly.
The love
> depicted in this movie is one of the lowest level of love of all.
(** minor spoiler **)
I don't know which level you would have preferred, but I really felt for a
couple who waited a lifetime for each other.
The
> main character is such a terrible woman that the ending was particularly
> uncomfortable. The director should seek political asylum to Cuba, and
> learn how to produce movies.
>
> : And let's not even get into the
> : horrible dubbing that makes the "Godzilla" and "Gamera" movies look like
> : masterpieces.
>
> Godzilla and Gamera are more human than the guys in the movie.
>
> : So the bottom line is?
>
> : This was THE worst film I have ever seen simple because of its total
> : pretentiousness and lack of cohesion. There are certainly worst films out
[blah blah blah]
Jeez, you sure don't know how to criticize a film, do you? I hope people
didn't actually read your review and get turned off the film, because both
of you guys just TRASH the flick, and don't have anything to say about
specific things that make the movie bad! If your tastes can't handle one
nude scene in a movie, and one rape scene (cut short, with no gory
details), then don't stop others from seeing such movies. Bad production
values (what??) don't make a film bad - or rarely, at least. They are just
that: production. A film is usually tested on the basis of acting,
directing and camerawork (to some extent dependent on the director).
--
Abdul MALIK Said
**NOT** Mike Tyson
umsa...@ccu.umanitoba.ca