"New Moon" No real spoilers but..
Mr. Hole the Magnificent
idiot.
BroTHeR zAcHaRy
<classic.mr.h...@gmail.com> wrote:
> The character of Bella sure is stupid. Geez girl I mean you're just an
> idiot.
Not as stupid as a 100 year old man who's seen and experienced the
world in more ways a mortal could falling in love with a child.
michael
download it to avoid supporting an awful franchise.
"Mr. Hole the Magnificent" <classic...@gmail.com> skrev i melding
news:270d64e9-40e0-4a43...@j14g2000yqm.googlegroups.com...
tomcervo
> I haven't seen the movie. Is it worth my time to do so. Maybe I should
> download it to avoid supporting an awful franchise.
>
>
> > The character of Bella sure is stupid. Geez girl I mean you're just an
> > idiot.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
BY ROGER EBERT / November 18, 2009
The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with
intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-
start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still:
their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.
"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" takes the tepid achievement of
"Twilight" (2008), guts it, and leaves it for undead. You know you're
in trouble with a sequel when the word of mouth advises you to see the
first movie twice instead. Obviously the characters all have. Long
opening stretches of this film make utterly no sense unless you walk
in knowing the first film, and hopefully both Stephanie Meyer novels,
by heart. Edward and Bella spend murky moments glowering at each other
and thinking, So, here we are again.
Bella (Kristen Stewart) is still living at home with her divorced dad
(Billy Burke), a cop whose disciplinary policy involves declaring her
grounded for the rest of her life and then disappearing so she can
jump from cliffs, haunt menacing forests, and fly to Italy so the
movie can evoke the sad final death scene from--why, hold on, it's
Romeo and Juliet! The very play Edward was reciting narcissistically
and contemptuously in an opening scene.
Yes, Edward (Robert Pattinson) is back in school, repeating the 12th
grade for the 84th time. Bella sees him in the school parking lot,
walking toward her in slow-motion, wearing one of those Edwardian
Beatles jackets with a velvet collar, pregnant with his beauty. How
white his skin, how red his lips. The decay of middle age may
transform him into the Joker.
Edward and the other members of the Cullen vampire clan stand around a
lot with glowering skulks. Long pauses interrupt longer ones. Listen
up, lads! You may be immortal, but we've got a train to catch.
Edward leaves, because Bella was not meant to be with him. Although
he's a vegetarian vampire, when she gets a paper cut at her birthday
party one of his pals leaps on her like a shark on a tuna fish.
In his absence she's befriended by Jake (Taylor Lautner), that nice
American Indian boy. "You've gotten all buff!" she tells him. Yeah,
real buff, and soon he's never wearing a shirt and standing outside in
the winter rain as if he were--why, nothing more than a wild animal.
They don't need coats like ours, remember, because God gave them
theirs.
Those not among that five percent of the movie's target audience that
doesn't already know this will (spoiler) be surprised that Jake is a
werewolf.
Bella: So…you're a werewolf?
Jake: Last time I checked.
Bella: "Can't you find a way to...just stop?
Jake (patiently): "It's not a lifestyle choice, Bella."
Jake is influenced, or controlled, or something, by Sam, another
member of the tribe. He's like the alpha wolf. Sam and his three
friends are mostly seen in long shot, shirtless in the rain, hanging
around the edges of the clearing as if hoping to dash in and pick off
some fresh meat.
Bella writes long letters to her absent vampire friend Alice (Ashley
Greene), in which she does nothing to explain why she is helplessly
attracted to these sinister, humorless and vain men. It can't be the
sex. As I've already explained in my review of the first film, The
Twilight Saga is an extended metaphor for teen chastity, in which the
punishment for being deflowered I will leave to your imagination.
The movie includes beauteous fields filled with potted flowers
apparently buried hours before by the grounds crew, and nobody not
clued in on the plot. Since they know it all and we know all, sitting
through this experience is like driving a tractor in low gear though a
sullen sea of Brylcreem.
Irish Mike
> I haven't seen the movie. Is it worth my time to do so. Maybe I should
> download it to avoid supporting an awful franchise.
You'll love New Moon - assuming you're a dim-witted, gullible teenager
with more money than brains.
Irish Mike
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