I've thought that all along. This current trend of the romantic, sexy
vampire is something I've never understood. Bring back Max
The leak was first sprung big-time, I think, by Langella and Badham in
'79(?) ...whose favorable critics made much of the "new" emphasis on
the vampire's concupiscent cachet. And, from there, Barbara Cartland
was only one twin bed over. Nowadays, until and unless there's some
unforeseen resurrection of "hard" supernatural antique fiction, I
regret that Dracula may have had his last whiff of coffin mold...
- - - - - - - -
YOUR taste at work...
Something to do with teenage girls of all ages and sexes, except that
it seems to be a reaction against sex--or sexual objectivity as
pandered by popular culture. Like that dormant Michael Jackson thing,
brought back to life by his death: "He IS that into you, and he
doesn't want to knock you up right away, or at all."
(Dunno about that last bit, since vampires not looking like Shreck or
Lugosi activate my remote. Do modern vampires breed?)
>The current "sexy sparkly vampire" craze is making me barf. We need a
>vampire movie that goes against that crap, one that once again depicts
>the vampire as a rat-like filthy bringer of disease and pestilence. In
>fact, I even have a suggestion on what the trailer and theater poster
>should use as a tagline:
>"VAMPIRES AREN'T SEXY...IN FACT THEY SUCK."
>(And yes, I know about the Werner Herzog remake. Got it on DVD, great
Even Ann Rice, who has done her bit over the past 35 years to glam
vampires up (although mostly in a gay way: kinda funny how in her
books turning into the UnDead turns one into a cocksucker as well as
bloodsucker, but I digress) paid homage to the original in
"Interview..." and at least acknowledged the existence of that type of
vampire as a subspecies of the breed. Unfortunately, IIRC, in the film
version Louis's search for more of his kind in central Europe and
first finding the Count Orloff variety did not make in to the screen.
A teenage girl wants to feel that sex, although merely Nature's chore
for some, is for her literally a matter of life and death. (Cf. 'la
petite mort'.) As for vampire rugrats... only on 'Buffy', afaik.
done! check out "Let the Right One In." I advise getting the swedish
version rather than waiting for american remake. I saw the dubbed
version, which was good. I hear the subtitled version is rather badly
30 Days of Night, while not close enough to the comics for my liking,
also avoids the sexy sparkly vampire crap, and many of the vampires
are indeed rat-like!
Did you see Shadow of the Vampire? That was pretty good.
Oh, you don't? Okay: It dates back to a novel written by John William
Polidori who was a contemporary of Lord Byron--
And where he got the idea to portray "Lord Ruthven" as horny amoral
self-indulgent libertine parasite, we shall never know. ;)
> Bring back Max Schreck.
How about next fall's "Cirque du Freak", with the sinister, seductive
John C. Reilly? ;)
What about "Shadow of the Vampire"? Excellent movie.
John Malkovich (as F.W.Murnau): "Why him, you monster? Why not the... script
Willem Dafoe (as Max Schreck): "Oh. The script girl. I'll eat her later."
I was about to suggest those very two.
You saw "30 Days of Night", right? Danny Huston was certainly in that
vein--so to speak.
I watched Twilight and it struck me that this vampire:
1. Isn't dead/undead
2. Doesn't appear to suck anybody's blood
3. Walks around mostly by day
Why did they even make him a vampire at all?
I've been watching the old 1966 Dark Shadows on DVD, the part of the
story where Barnabas Collins enslaves Maggie Evans. There is a nice
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
I like to think of myself as a living brain enema
:: Currently listening to The Souls of Distortion, 2004, by Joe Satriani, from "Is There Love In Space?"
Well yeah but that's every movie since "Rebel Without a Cause".
I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA FOR A SUBGENIUS MOVIE! It can star Doc
I think another point of the vampire as a boyfriend though is that
he's that DANGEROUS boyfriend that you know you should stay away from
but secretly it's his very dangerousness that revs your motorboat.
So he's totally dangerous IN THEORY. But ... SHE CHANGES HIM!
Maybe Doc Martian wouldn't work for the SubGenius version of this
movie after all. I don't think you could change him into much of
anything but a walrus.
"cry BORING! and let slip the dogs of plonk".
:: Currently listening to Soul Systems Burn, 2001, by King Black Acid, from "The Mothman Prophecies Soundtrack"
So he could be A) cool, B) different, and C) leap tall trees with a
Which they could've equally accomplished with an episode of "Smallville".
At least they didn't use Tom Hanks as the Vampire.
However bad something sucks, it could suck worse.
God is a name the world gives to the devil when he is victorious.
:: Currently listening to Pablo Picasso, 1984, by Burning Sensations, from "Repo Man: Soundtrack"
> Maybe Doc Martian wouldn't work for the SubGenius version of this
> movie after all. I don't think you could change him into much of
> anything but a walrus.
I am reminded by the KING OF THE HILL episode where Bill was
apparently part of a secret Army drug experiment that made him fat and
manboobed and hairt. It was called "Operation Human Walrus" or
something. I couldn't find a pic of it, but here's the synopsis of the
WE OWN THE COPYRIGHTS ON DOC MARTIAN AND HIS DISEASE, I WILL SEE THEM
The wind is the moon's imagination; wandering
:: Currently listening to Brian Jones presents The Pipes of Pan at Jajouka: 2-2, 1968, by Brian Jones/Master Musicians of Jajouka, from "The Pipes of Pan at Jajouka"
...with Mike Myers as "Dieter".
the blade movies are also decent at playing up the non-sexy vampire
thing. There are a couple sexy vamps in the first one, but most of
the vamps in it are old businessmen, and in the sequels the vampires
get more monstrous with unhingeable jaws and tentacles etc.
the whole sexy-vampire thing is all Bram Stoker's fault. ever since
he made Dracula a ladies' man, someone's come along wanting explore
the vampire-as-sex-object angle more than the vampire-as-undead-
monster angle. anne rice, joss whedon, stephenie meyer, all just
going down the path Bram Stoker pointed out to them, each one going a
little farther than the last.
i would say that zombies are free from this sexifying, but that would
be a lie. Naked Ape has a couple music videos with dancing zombie
women (carwash-girls and a pole dancer!), a google of "Zombie pinups"
will produce results, and there;s the new horror movie out Deadgirl,
in which two teenage guys find a zombie woman strapped to a table in
the basement of an abandoned building and keep her as a sex toy.
as for werewolves, google "yiffing".
I guess it goes to show, one man's flesh-eating monster is another
man's dream girl.
>I watched Twilight and it struck me that this vampire:
>1. Isn't dead/undead
>2. Doesn't appear to suck anybody's blood
>3. Walks around mostly by day
>Why did they even make him a vampire at all?
>I've been watching the old 1966 Dark Shadows on DVD, the part of the
>story where Barnabas Collins enslaves Maggie Evans. There is a nice
although on the plus side of watching this movie, is several dozen
fifteen-year-old girls visibly having orgasms in the front row.
Overally, I call that a WINZ.
"you know what all your enemies have in common? You!"
- J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
:: Currently listening to Max Q, 1995, by Man... or Astro-Man?, from "Project Infinity"
That's why we need a fad of smell-enhanced moviemaking. The whole
genre would die.
Perhaps one of his descendants. In this, simply knowing a romantic,
sexy woman is taboo.
Vampires today can be identifiably embraced for hedonistic persuasions
much as do punked apocalyptic movie scenarios to negate politics for
an all-consuming moral consequence anarchistic nihilism presents.
Iggy Pop in HARDWARE or M.A.R.K. 13.
>Vampires today can be identifiably embraced for hedonistic persuasions
>much as do punked apocalyptic movie scenarios to negate politics for
>an all-consuming moral consequence anarchistic nihilism presents.
Have you met purple?
"Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
"Yeah, well, I guess he had it comin'."
"We all got it comin', kid."
:: Currently listening to Barely Legal, 2001, by The Strokes, from "Is This It"
Pink's sister, Wendy-O's daughters?
Not a great movie, but not terrible either. I tend to think it is not
worthy of either the denouncement OR the praise that it receives.
On Aug 24, 10:40 pm, Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl?
> On Sun, 23 Aug 2009 17:40:54 -0700, Zapanaz
> <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl?f...@mindspring.com> wrote:
> >I watched Twilight and it struck me that this vampire:
> >1. Isn't dead/undead
> >2. Doesn't appear to suck anybody's blood
> >3. Walks around mostly by day
> >Why did they even make him a vampire at all?
> >I've been watching the old 1966 Dark Shadows on DVD, the part of the
> >story where Barnabas Collins enslaves Maggie Evans. There is a nice
> >creepy vampire.
> although on the plus side of watching this movie, is several dozen
> fifteen-year-old girls visibly having orgasms in the front row.
> Overally, I call that a WINZ.
> International Satanic Conspiracy
> Customer Support Specialisthttp://joecosby.com/
In fact, Vampire legends have been "sexy" ever since, and the oevre
lends itself to this fey/sexy thing. Sorry guys, but Vampires are not
Butch. I don't know where you guys get the idea that the whole vampire
thing ever "went away from" being manly. It's NOT MANLY AND IT AIN'T
NEVER HAS BEEN.
The sparkle thing was as inevitable as girls dating gay guys at prom.
Get. Over. It.
On Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:50:20 -0700 (PDT), "Rev. Xanatos Satanicos
Bombasticos" <clin...@gmail.com> wrote:
>I actually don't see what the big deal is. It's a different take on
>vampires. Are we so close-minded to different experiences that all
>vampires must be alike? What about the zombies that run in 28 days
>later? Are they ruining zombies for everyone? Twilight isn't a vampire
>horror movie, it's a vampire romance movie with interspecies sexual
>tension. I liken the story to what it would be like if I fell in love
>with a delicious taco. It would be so hard not to eat this sexy,
>talking taco. I would love this taco, and pet it, and marry it, and
>name him George. But it would be really hard not to eat it. And
>there's the story. Nothing to do with the horror angle, really.
>Not a great movie, but not terrible either. I tend to think it is not
>worthy of either the denouncement OR the praise that it receives.
So you have no strong feelings one way or another about the movie, and
don't understand why other people would.
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep."
- Steven Wright
:: Currently listening to Cello-Suite Nr. 5 c-moll BWV 1011 - II. Allemande, 1720, by Bach, from "Cello Suites - Yo Yo Ma"
As well what precisely defines CDP for so great a standout in
assessing mission directives, making impromptu judgment calls, and
positively identifying advantage of utility from a full field of
resources available. One of the few born true predators, whose
reputations are only preceded by a regard given their innate
Corporal Dean Portman: You know, Kid, it's funny. A couple of days ago
I asked Sarge for a little pussy. The next day he brought you onto the
John Grimm: Don't give me an excuse, Portman. No one here will miss
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpp61ZbzKZM < saw this last halloween
at a film fest, pretty damn good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYo-VxWGVhs < and another one,
Frostbiten (2006) good swedish vampire flick
I recommend the subtitled versions over the dubbed.
and for shits and giggles here's this gem
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpp61ZbzKZM < saw this last halloween
>at a film fest, pretty damn good.
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYo-VxWGVhs < and another one,
>Frostbiten (2006) good swedish vampire flick
>I recommend the subtitled versions over the dubbed.
>and for shits and giggles here's this gem
Another neglected art house/indie vampire flick from Abel Ferrara, "The
Vampirism as metaphor for heroin addiction. I really like Lily Taylor, and
Christopher Walken is great as the experienced vampire (with a whiff of Bill
Burroughs in his performance.)
Black and white. NetFlix did not have it in their catalog when I last
Also, "Tsui Hark's Vampire Hunters". Chinese hopping vampires vs. Shaolin
monks. Some zombie wrangling.
I just found a copy for $2. OTAY!
>Another neglected art house/indie vampire flick from Abel Ferrara, "The
>Vampirism as metaphor for heroin addiction. I really like Lily Taylor, and
>Christopher Walken is great as the experienced vampire (with a whiff of Bill
>Burroughs in his performance.)
>Black and white. NetFlix did not have it in their catalog when I last
That looks interesting. I looked on Amazon.com, it was never released
on DVD. I might grab a copy on VHS.
This is another quirky vampire movie I liked a lot, I didn't remember
it until you mentioned that one:
It's a weird take with a complicated mix of different styles. There
are comedic parts, like Peter Fonda who plays a kook vampire-hunter,
only in the movie all of his kook beliefs are true. Partly it's very
erotic, the main Vampire is very hot and sex and vampirism are
intertwined. David Lynch has a tiny cameo.
Sometimes an eldritch book procrastinates, but soon I was to find that an
exceedingly strange wedge always reached an understanding with an accidentally
- From "A Horror From a Mushroom" by P Love Technology of H
:: Currently listening to Speak of the Devil, 1998, by Chris Isaak, from "Speak of the Devil"
That's been in my queue forever. I was blowing it off because I got a little
turned off to Euro-horror after "Funny Games".
Moving it up.
On Aug 27, 2:32 pm, "XODDI" <root...@loa.com> wrote:
> "Zapanaz" <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl?f...@mindspring.com> wrote in
Have you checked out Zombie Strippers (with Jenna Jameson) yet? I'd
love to get your take on it, as it seems up your alley.
> A teenage girl wants to feel that sex, although merely Nature's chore
> for some, is for her literally a matter of life and death.
Can we please have this discussion without making sweeping generalizations
about millions of total strangers? :-)
alt.flame Special Forces
"President Roosevelt proved that a president could serve for life. Truman
proved that anyone could be elected. Eisenhower proved that your country
can be run without a president." -- Nikita Khrushchev