Hey Scramblers!
Jason Nolan
>
>Who you are (duh! it'll say it in the hedder) and your affiliation
>
Jason Nolan, Penn State Blue Band (Yes, we do scramble every now and t
then)
>What instrument (including miscies) you play
>
BBb grain silo
>What was the coolest thing your band did this year
>
Blue Band? Cool stuff? (By your standards, anyway)
>Legends, i.e. what was the coolest (or worst, or most vile) thing your
>band did in all it's history
>
Showed up sober to the Homecoming Parade
>Why you joined band
>
Who in their right mind pays $60 for a season of fun in the stands?
>Does your band discrimante on the basis of having to have at least one set
>of genetals per person?
>
We're too scared to check...
>And any thoughts you can think of...
>
Thanks for the rousing welcome Big-10 (11)! (Can you say "sarcasm" boys
and girls?)
>Trashcan Man.
>--
>Trashcan Man is Constantino Tobio, Jr.| = ) |"We wear blue, we wear white,
> to...@panix.com | =\\/(| We wear lingerie at night,
>"Nothing says lovin' like something | \/ \/\| We're the Cleverest Band in
>the
> from the Uterus" -Jennifer Barnes |\/\/ | World!" Columbia U.M.B.
>G(TB)^2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jason Nolan | PSUMBB, the Least Cleverest
211 Irvin Hall | Band in the World,
Pennsylvania State University | but then there's Pitt...
Univeristy Park, PA 16802 -----------------------------------
USA
JRN...@PSUVM.PSU.EDU NO...@PSUMETEO.PSU.EDU N3QKO
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trashcan Man
In my self-appointed role as CUMB's ambassador to the net, I want
to hear from you all.
No, this is not a scam. SEND NO MONEY! Good fame and
foreski^H^Hfortune will befall all of you is you post (or mail to me, for
those shy individuals)
Who you are (duh! it'll say it in the hedder) and your affiliation
What instrument (including miscies) you play
What was the coolest thing your band did this year
Legends, i.e. what was the coolest (or worst, or most vile) thing your
band did in all it's history
Why you joined band
Does your band discrimante on the basis of having to have at least one set
of genetals per person?
And any thoughts you can think of...
My answers to the above:
Constantino Tobio, Jr., a.k.a. Trashcan Man, Columbia University Marching Band
The Rural Mailbox, complete with little folding flag.
At Princeton, forming the Magic Bullet Theory, complete with exploding JFK
skull (I got to be a flying skull fragment!)
At Yale, 1992. Consummating a same sex marriage on the field on Youth Day.
See one of our band managers being taken from behind by another man on their
marriage bed, while the band plays Hava Nagila and dances the Hora!
From the recruitment flyer: The Columbia University Marching band requires
at least one funtioning set of genetalia. Strap-ons permitted.
Who owns New York? Why we own New York, C-O-L-U-M-B-I-A!
I'm sick and tired of big marching bands starting threads on whether
they're allowed to use flip charts on their trumpets. Show me that there's
cool people on this newsgroup!
Matt Bruce
: Hey Scramble Bands!
Hey What??
: In my self-appointed role as CUMB's ambassador to the net, I want
: to hear from you all.
Fine...
: No, this is not a scam. SEND NO MONEY! Good fame and
: foreski^H^Hfortune will befall all of you is you post (or mail to me, for
: those shy individuals)
Could use that; could use what you were about to write as well.
: Who you are (duh! it'll say it in the hedder) and your affiliation
You know me. I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
: What instrument (including miscies) you play
A long, throbbing purple one. This very question (minus parantheses) was
on a Raunch Bus application from two or three years ago; garnered far
better responses than mine, I might add. (For real: Cornet/Trumpet)
: What was the coolest thing your band did this year
Played for Bill Clinton at the Kennedy Library. Drowned out reporters'
questions with the yale Medley. (reporters: "MR. PRESIDENT!! Blah blah blah
NAFTA blah..." us (playing): "Bulldogs, bulldogs, bow wow wow..." Prez:
(cups ear, points to us, shakes head and goes inside)
: Legends, i.e. what was the coolest (or worst, or most vile) thing your
: band did in all it's history
Opinions may differ (mine aren't nec. those of anyone else here) as 75 yrs
is a lot of time for coolness. My submission: '87 at yale Bowl,
temperature -30F. So cold, all instruments froze. We _sang_ the halftime
show. Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, the
Harvard Band will sing the halftime show. The yale Band, copycats that
they are, will probably do the same."
: Why you joined band
(#include HarvardBandAnti-AlcoholDisclaimer.h)
Same answer as told by a former manager to our current manager: "You get
to know people who can buy for you."
: Does your band discrimante on the basis of having to have at least one set
: of genetals per person?
Somewhere in the distance I can hear my woodwinds pointing to me and
shouting "NO!"
: And any thoughts you can think of...
Isn't Christmas, as celebrated in America, a secular holiday? When people get
raped, do they count it as lowering their purity score? [#include
rear-end-covering about how horrible/tragic I think the last subject is]
Those and many more, too many to put in this post.
[rest of survey deleted]
Hoping I didn't Offend too many,
Matt
--
Matt Bruce (mlb...@husc.harvard.edu) takes sole credit for this message.
Not necessarily the opinions of any entity I'm part of, or vice versa.
Matt Bruce
the band", "as told by a former manager to the current manager" should
read "as told by a former manager to the current trumpet section leader".
Sorry!
--Matt
Ken MacFarlane
>
>Who you are (duh! it'll say it in the hedder) and your affiliation
Ken MacFarlane, General Old Guy, Penn Band
>What instrument (including miscies) you play
I think she said she played the flute... :-)
>What was the coolest thing your band did this year
Tough call. The write-up in Sports Illustrated was kind of nice.
>Legends, i.e. what was the coolest (or worst, or most vile) thing your
>band did in all it's history
I don't have time for all the details, but in 1983 the Penn Band was kicked
out of the Vince Lombardi rest stop (outside NYC) and asked never to return.
>Why you joined band
Ivy League Championship Basketball, one that will actually win a tournament
game this year. And free food.
>And any thoughts you can think of...
I'm hungry. I think I'll have lunch...
Ken MacFarlane, a.k.a. k...@eniac.seas.upenn.edu
Percussionist, PGA Director, and All-Around Old Guy, Penn Band
/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\
"Because five years is forever and you haven't grown up yet." -Axl Rose
--
Ken MacFarlane | email: k...@eniac.seas.upenn.edu
CETS Technical Staff | k...@pender.ee.upenn.edu
University of Pennsylvania | office: 057 GRW (Moore)
Philadelphia, PA 19104 | phone: (215)898-2476
Matt Bruce
: >What instrument (including miscies) you play
: I think she said she played the flute... :-)
Then how could she be a miscie? :)
Hmm... bringing up another piece of lore, an incident from Harvard at Penn
'92, that, shall we say, brought the Harvard and Penn bands _together_...
But I can't mention it. Both parties involved would just _die_. Just hope
Ken knows anything of the incident I refer to...
: >And any thoughts you can think of...
[my pre-emptive apologies if anyone was offended by what I put here; it
seemed funny at the time, not so funny looking back on it]
Matt Bruce
: James Szinger, Horn, YPMB.
I thought horns weren't allowed on in yale Bowl.
Or is that sign no longer there?
: >What was the coolest thing your band did this year
: Ateempt a human sacrifice, only to have it fail because cantabs
: aren't human.
Ah... was _wonderin'_ what excuse you'd come up with. _Still_ wondering
why your show included a slam at BU over the Special Olympics thang.
(so New Haven is a more appropriate site than Boston for the Special
Olympics... is this some you-give-the-punchline-I-supply-the-joke thing?)
And how come Handsome Dan didn't get to retire in style... in the volcano?
: Well, there was the Pee-Wee Herman show. Large hand on the
: field, MIcheal Jackson tune, you get the idea.
*YAWN*
: >And any thoughts you can think of...
Typical yalie... couldn't think of any.
: That "consumation" lasted all of eight seconds. Real (i.e.,
: Yale) men can keep it going a lot longer, say, until the next
: columbia football victory.
Hmm... considering football season doesn't start until September, that's
odd. Saaaay... you aren't using one of those things they described in the
alt.sex.* groups a long time ago about keeping an erection over four
months, are you? Sounds painful...
Veritas,
Matt
James J. Szinger
> In my self-appointed role as CUMB's ambassador to the net, I want
>to hear from you all.
Are you sure the band can with stand it's depature from anarchy?
>Who you are (duh! it'll say it in the hedder) and your affiliation
James Szinger, Horn, YPMB.
>What instrument (including miscies) you play
See above.
>What was the coolest thing your band did this year
Ateempt a human sacrifice, only to have it fail because cantabs
aren't human.
>Legends, i.e. what was the coolest (or worst, or most vile) thing your
>band did in all it's history
Well, there was the Pee-Wee Herman show. Large hand on the
field, MIcheal Jackson tune, you get the idea.
>Why you joined band
I came because of the Yale Band
>Does your band discrimante on the basis of having to have at least one set
>of genetals per person?
No. In accordance with federal and state Equal Opportunity laws,
the YPMB does not discriminate on the basis of gender, or lack
thereof. We do, however, discriminate against the metabollically
challenged since we require all members to have a pulse.
>And any thoughts you can think of...
>My answers to the above:
>At Yale, 1992. Consummating a same sex marriage on the field on Youth Day.
>See one of our band managers being taken from behind by another man on their
>marriage bed, while the band plays Hava Nagila and dances the Hora!
That "consumation" lasted all of eight seconds. Real (i.e.,
Yale) men can keep it going a lot longer, say, until the next
columbia football victory.
Ciao,
Jim
--
James J. Szinger j...@fuji.eng.yale.edu
He was born with a gift of laughter The horn, the horn, the lusty horn
and a sense that the world was mad. Is not a thing to laugh to scorn.
James J. Szinger
mlb...@husc7.harvard.edu (Matt Bruce) writes:
>Opinions may differ (mine aren't nec. those of anyone else here) as 75 yrs
>is a lot of time for coolness. My submission: '87 at yale Bowl,
>temperature -30F. So cold, all instruments froze. We _sang_ the halftime
>show. Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, the
>Harvard Band will sing the halftime show. The yale Band, copycats that
>they are, will probably do the same."
That must've benn the time the YPMB "found" a whole lot of Jack
Daniels and used to keep the valves (as well as the musicians)
from freezing so they could play.
James J. Szinger
mlb...@husc7.harvard.edu (Matt Bruce) writes:
>James J. Szinger (j...@fuji.eng.yale.edu) wrote:
>: That "consumation" lasted all of eight seconds. Real (i.e.,
>: Yale) men can keep it going a lot longer, say, until the next
>: columbia football victory.
>Hmm... considering football season doesn't start until September, that's
>odd. Saaaay... you aren't using one of those things they described in the
>alt.sex.* groups a long time ago about keeping an erection over four
>months, are you? Sounds painful...
No, it's all natural with no artificial colors or preservatives.
It's just a question of stamina and will power, though I'm not
sure you'd understand.
>Veritas,
Without the Lux?
That Sux.
Lux et veritas,
Michael Stephen Stone
year...
With the Michael Jordan's early retirement from
professional basketball, the Chicago Bulls have been forced to
recruit the one man capable of replacing him... Jesus
Christ Himself!
And Jesus is taking the ball up the court and
oh no -the ball has slipped through His hands again. But now
He's recovered it and oh no! Jesus is pinned at the board, but
wait it's a turn around jump shot and Jesus scores for two!
The crowd goes wild!
Jesus is shooting 100% this season, and it looks
like this carpenters son from Nazareth is going places! He's on
the football squad, and He always throws a perfect Hail Mary.
In the boxing ring, He may turn the other cheek, but that
hasn't kept Him from winning the heavyweight crown of thorns!
Jesus Christ, He rose for you, He rose for me, He rows for the
crew team. Well, actually He doesn't row, He gets out back and
pushes. In fact there's only one sport Jesus doesn't play...
Lacrosse!
Last Saturday's autoposy on the late actor and
vegetarian River Phoenix
swept Hollywood in a wave of denial. Drs. found lethal levels
of heroin, cocaine, valium, ephidrine and marijuana coursing
through his meat free veins. Actually, they weren't exactly
coursing, they were just kind of sitting there.
In his defense, friends say River never tried acid, however,
since it was tested on animals.
Six Oregon cheerleaders were hospitalized this week
with third degree burns after sitting on blocks of dry ice in a
pep rally stunt. Apparantly the cheerleaders did not realize
that dry ice can reach temperatures of 144 degrees below zero.
We'd like to thank the Oregon cheerleaders for giving new
meaning to the term, "I froze my ass off."
President Clinton today criticized NAFTA opponents,
including the one he refered to as "that guy witht the giant
sucking sound." Senator Bob Packwood refused comment.
grungy
> Who you are (duh! it'll say it in the hedder) and your affiliation
grungy - Rice U. MOBster '73-'93
> What instrument (including miscies) you play
trumpet (mostly), and F-horn (in concert season, under duress)
> What was the coolest thing your band did this year
Shook hands with the Aggies; or froze while being hidden behind the masses
percussion (9 bands) during the halftime at the UofH game.
> Legends, i.e. what was the coolest (or worst, or most vile) thing your
> band did in all it's history
Too many to recount here - trapped in our own stadium by irate Aggies in
'73 for two hours...
> Why you joined band
I love being in a band
> Does your band discrimante on the basis of having to have at least one set
> of genetals per person?
"I have never bothered to check..." (Godley and Creme)
> And any thoughts you can think of...
Time to go
--
bcnu - grungy - Rice U. MOBster '73-'93
.opinions expressed are just that.obviously.
"Vanna, I want to buy a diphthong."
THOG
Theodore Hong
>>Opinions may differ (mine aren't nec. those of anyone else here) as 75 yrs
>>is a lot of time for coolness. My submission: '87 at yale Bowl,
>>temperature -30F. So cold, all instruments froze.
>That must've benn the time the YPMB "found" a whole lot of Jack
>Daniels and used to keep the valves (as well as the musicians)
>from freezing so they could play.
"Back when I was in the Band, we used to use champagne for valve oil!"
I've heard it said, but I don't know the game...probably a yale game --
there would have been lots of champagne on hand for the staff changeover
ceremony.
ObCoolIncident: Parading through Grand Central Station in New York on the
night before the yale game. (Alas, 'twas the year before I came).
Theo
--
Theodore Hong
The Harvard University "Thromdibulator" Band
"And now the city lights are dimming one by one
It costs too much money to keep them on..."
Trashcan Man
James J. Szinger <j...@fuji.eng.yale.edu> wrote:
>In article <2e1173$b...@scunix2.harvard.edu>
>mlb...@husc7.harvard.edu (Matt Bruce) writes:
>
>>James J. Szinger (j...@fuji.eng.yale.edu) wrote:
>
>>: That "consumation" lasted all of eight seconds. Real (i.e.,
>>: Yale) men can keep it going a lot longer, say, until the next
>>: columbia football victory.
>
>>Hmm... considering football season doesn't start until September, that's
>>odd. Saaaay... you aren't using one of those things they described in the
>>alt.sex.* groups a long time ago about keeping an erection over four
>>months, are you? Sounds painful...
>
>No, it's all natural with no artificial colors or preservatives.
>It's just a question of stamina and will power, though I'm not
>sure you'd understand.
Excuse me, but is it me, or was the reason the Yale Band was not in
attendance at the last Columbia-Yale Football game because YOU GUYS
COULDN'T AFFORD THE BUS?
Man- even the lame-o Dartmouth band came.
Daniel Press
> Who you are (duh! it'll say it in the hedder) and your affiliation
Dan Press -Vice Pres. of the Brown (dance-me-around-by-my-willie) BAND!
> What instrument (including miscies) you play
Safe Sax.
> What was the coolest thing your band did this year
UPenn. During their Alma Mater we all got down on all 4's and raised a
leg.
Also at UPenn. Stole a sign from the hotel stairwell stating "Discharge
Level"
Also got the 6th and 9th floor signs.
> Legends, i.e. what was the coolest (or worst, or most vile) thing your
> band did in all it's history
The West Point show. 'Nuff said.
> Why you joined band
Fish, because ice cream have teeth. (surreal reasoning)
> Does your band discrimante on the basis of having to have at least one set
> of genetals per person?
It's a requirement, this is Brown....
> And any thoughts you can think of...
No two infinite bodies can exist simultaneously, because they would be
bounded by each other.
>
> The Rural Mailbox, complete with little folding flag.
Smells so fresh!
-------> Request!
Could you post the new "Roar! xxxxx Roar!" Lyrix? Including the
Bobbit stuff... and, of course, Satan.
Or email that to Brown...@Brown.edu
(Yes, I'm the one that stripped in front of your band at the game)
________________________________________________________________________
\ /
\ "Hopelessly lost, but making good time!" /
\ Pr...@Brown.edu /
\ ______/_____/____/___/__/_/- Dan P. ___/__/_/- ViceP Brown Band/
\______________________________________________________________/
Trashcan Man
>In article <Daniel_Press...@tonto-slip4.cis.brown.edu>,
>Daniel...@Brown.edu (Daniel Press) wrote:
>> The West Point show. 'Nuff said.
>
Well, there was OUR show at West Point, where the Band was Banned (get the
pun) from ever showing their faces their again.
It was during the 70's, if I'm not mistaken. CUMB formed, on the field, a
B-52 bomber napalming a Cambodian village COMPLETE WITH BURNING
VILLAGERS!!! Army wasn't too pleased with that, I guess...
Matt Bruce
: Well, there was OUR show at West Point, where the Band was Banned (get the
: pun) from ever showing their faces their again.
Most Ivy Bands have been banned from West Point for similar incidents.
Harvard's story (all hearsay, mind you): Our happened in 1983 or '84,
shortly after the incident in Beirut. One of the formations involved the
number of servicemen killed in that incident, along with the song "Only
the Good Die Young" mentioned in another thread.
Some Holy Cross guy thought he heard the word "abortion" in the joke we
used before playing that this year; alas, it was only about the Pope's new
Encyclical about birth control and trumpets.
Trying to Find a Way to Justify Adding rec.pets.cats to this Odd Crosspost,
Theodore Hong
>Well, there was OUR show at West Point, where the Band was Banned (get the
>pun) from ever showing their faces their again.
We haven't been allowed to play a half-time show at West Point for
quite some time (and now they're off our schedule, so we probably
won't be starting again any time soon).
Among other things we did to annoy them, we started to play the
Star Spangled Banner (for which all of the cadets were required to
stand) and then stopped. Over and over again. Finally, they stopped
standing up, whereupon we played the entire thing through.
"That's all right, that's okay, the military-industrial complex is
controlled by civilians anyway..."
Theo
--
Theodore Hong "Are we just like all the rest?
VMS Systems Programmer We're looking too hard for something he's got
th...@husc.harvard.edu or moving too fast to rest..."
ho...@novax.llnl.gov -Genesis, "Man on the Corner"
Trashcan Man
>Trashcan Man (to...@panix.com) wrote:
>
>: Well, there was OUR show at West Point, where the Band was Banned (get the
>: pun) from ever showing their faces their again.
>
>Most Ivy Bands have been banned from West Point for similar incidents.
>Harvard's story (all hearsay, mind you): Our happened in 1983 or '84,
>shortly after the incident in Beirut. One of the formations involved the
>number of servicemen killed in that incident, along with the song "Only
>the Good Die Young" mentioned in another thread.
Rather tasteless- somehow, I don't imagine Ken "Death Before
Dishonor" Strayhorn being very impressed by this...
>Some Holy Cross guy thought he heard the word "abortion" in the joke we
>used before playing that this year; alas, it was only about the Pope's new
>Encyclical about birth control and trumpets.
If we ever have a joke about abortion, I want us to form a coathanger on
the field. Ona vaguely related note, last year, when George Bush was
campaigning and said that he "Held a Crack Baby in his arms," We wanted to
form a Crack Baby. Dean Lehecka wouldn't let us, despite him being a total
cultural retard. Somehow, whenever I hear crack Baby, I think of one of
Roy Radow's many fantasies.
>Trying to Find a Way to Justify Adding rec.pets.cats to this Odd Crosspost,
>Matt
In good time, Matt, in good time.
Trashcan Man
>to...@panix.com (Trashcan Man) writes:
>
>>Well, there was OUR show at West Point, where the Band was Banned (get the
>>pun) from ever showing their faces their again.
>
>We haven't been allowed to play a half-time show at West Point for
>quite some time (and now they're off our schedule, so we probably
>won't be starting again any time soon).
Pity, no? Same with us.
>Among other things we did to annoy them, we started to play the
>Star Spangled Banner (for which all of the cadets were required to
>stand) and then stopped. Over and over again. Finally, they stopped
>standing up, whereupon we played the entire thing through.
Thoroughly evil. I like it.
ObTastelessBand: Yale-Columbia, 1974, at Yale. This os when we started
having our scripts censored. It all started when we did on the field at
Yale during Youth Day (We love Youth Day at Yale, I guess) an ode to birth
control. Now, this was 1974, with plenty of kiddies watching us form
diaphragms, I.U.D.'s, condoms, and reenacted the Rythim Method by forming
a calendar and play "I've Got Rythim." Not particularly tasteless, but
let's see one of those lamer midwestern bands have the creativity to form
something more complex than a triangle.
>VMS Systems Programmer We're looking too hard for something he's got
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This should have been my Obtasteless.
Your article's newsgroups:
alt.tasteless Truly disgusting.
rec.arts.marching.misc Marching-related performance activities.
Now the above describes Columbia... Truly Disgusting Marching-related
performance activities.
Jeff Randall
>ObTastelessBand: Yale-Columbia, 1974, at Yale. This os when we started
>having our scripts censored. It all started when we did on the field at
>Yale during Youth Day (We love Youth Day at Yale, I guess) an ode to birth
>control. Now, this was 1974, with plenty of kiddies watching us form
>diaphragms, I.U.D.'s, condoms, and reenacted the Rythim Method by forming
>a calendar and play "I've Got Rythim." Not particularly tasteless, but
>let's see one of those lamer midwestern bands have the creativity to form
>something more complex than a triangle.
Actually, when we did "I've Got Rhythm" back in 1992, we formed a
trumpet player and animated it, making it march down the field. Certanly
not as simplistic as a triangle, and quite a bit more tasteful than birth
control.
Jeff "Euclid" Randall - MI 'bone since 1990.
--
JRan...@uiuc.edu (MIME) THIS IS _NOT_ CCSO'S OPINION!!!
jar4...@sumter.cso.uiuc.edu (NeXT) If It were, It would've had a
CP-SEL/MEL,IA, CFI-A more important name on it. =)
Trashcan Man
[post about Columbia-Yale game of '74 deleted]
>>a calendar and play "I've Got Rythim." Not particularly tasteless, but
>>let's see one of those lamer midwestern bands have the creativity to form
>>something more complex than a triangle.
>
>Actually, when we did "I've Got Rhythm" back in 1992, we formed a
>trumpet player and animated it, making it march down the field. Certanly
>not as simplistic as a triangle, and quite a bit more tasteful than birth
>control.
Yes. But you neglect something. The Columbia Band is *the* most tasteless
band in the Ivy League. Taste is only used in our vocablary when it comes
to the bile that we hork up on the bus while drinking heavily.
ObBand. My goal is to, one day before I graduate, vomit during the playing
of the Alma Mater and run off the field.
ObTasteless. Form on the field a squicking session, complete with drill,
skull, and engorged penis.
Matt Bruce
: >>a calendar and play "I've Got Rythim." Not particularly tasteless, but
: >>let's see one of those lamer midwestern bands have the creativity to form
: >>something more complex than a triangle.
: >
[Illini reply deleted]
: Yes. But you neglect something. The Columbia Band is *the* most tasteless
: band in the Ivy League. Taste is only used in our vocablary when it comes
: to the bile that we hork up on the bus while drinking heavily.
True. Depending on how "tasteless" is defined, probably the most tasteless
band in the country.
ObBand: Then again, your main problem seems to be getting the manpower "to
form something more complex than a triangle."
ObTasteless: I had this message cross-posted to rec.pets.dogs with some
cruel stuff about Handsome Dan, but just as I was about to send it husc7
got squicked. Guess that cross-post thing just wasn't meant to be.
--Matt "I wish User Assistants spoke better English..."
Jo Miller
mlb...@husc9.harvard.edu writes:
>ObTasteless: I had this message cross-posted to rec.pets.dogs with some
>cruel stuff about Handsome Dan, but just as I was about to send it husc7
>got squicked. Guess that cross-post thing just wasn't meant to be.
Well, at least Handsome Dan can hunker down and lick his balls in front
of 5,000 people as a good mascot should. When Harvard's--what is it, a
pilgrim?--does that I'll be impressed! : )
Jo (hm, no alt.sex.fetish.pilgrims to cross-post to....)
Trashcan Man
>Trashcan Man (to...@panix.com) wrote:
>
>: >>a calendar and play "I've Got Rythim." Not particularly tasteless, but
>: >>let's see one of those lamer midwestern bands have the creativity to form
>: >>something more complex than a triangle.
>: >
>
>[Illini reply deleted]
>
>: Yes. But you neglect something. The Columbia Band is *the* most tasteless
>: band in the Ivy League. Taste is only used in our vocablary when it comes
>: to the bile that we hork up on the bus while drinking heavily.
>
>True. Depending on how "tasteless" is defined, probably the most tasteless
>band in the country.
Not even the illustious LSJUMB or MOB could ever bave the tastelessness
within them to have the scriptreader utter the words "final solution"
when referring to the homeless. No band in America would form a burning
American flag, while playing "Light My Fire" by the Doors. (we got a bomb
threat for that one)
>ObBand: Then again, your main problem seems to be getting the manpower "to
>form something more complex than a triangle."
Well, you only need three persons to form a triangle... We proved that one
at the Cornell show.
Trashcan Man
>In article <2egg51$3...@scunix2.harvard.edu> Matt Bruce,
>mlb...@husc9.harvard.edu writes:
>>ObTasteless: I had this message cross-posted to rec.pets.dogs with some
>>cruel stuff about Handsome Dan, but just as I was about to send it husc7
>>got squicked. Guess that cross-post thing just wasn't meant to be.
>
>Well, at least Handsome Dan can hunker down and lick his balls in front
>of 5,000 people as a good mascot should. When Harvard's--what is it, a
>pilgrim?--does that I'll be impressed! : )
Actually, Harvard doesn't have a bestial mascot. They're the Crimson,
whatever tha means. When I think of Crimson, I do think of tampons. So,
they can be the Harvard Twatrags. Hey, I like that! Or the Harvard
Sootikins. How about the Harvard Clots?
Picture this: The Harvard Band forming a Tampon on the field, complete
with string, during the Alma Mater. Hmmm...
ObBand: Columbia-Harvard, 1993- CUMB attempts to form the word "LION" on
the field, but spells it "LOIN"
ObTasteless: My recent grogan. It was definetely of grogan proportions, as
it hurt coming out. In a recent conversation with Todd Radel, he called it
Sadofecomasochism. I like it!
Matt Bruce
: >Well, at least Handsome Dan can hunker down and lick his balls in front
: >of 5,000 people as a good mascot should. When Harvard's--what is it, a
: >pilgrim?--does that I'll be impressed! : )
Trashcan Man (to...@panix.com) corrects her:
: Actually, Harvard doesn't have a bestial mascot. They're the Crimson,
: whatever tha means. When I think of Crimson, I do think of tampons. So,
: they can be the Harvard Twatrags. Hey, I like that! Or the Harvard
: Sootikins. How about the Harvard Clots?
With the irony being that the original post came from someone whose new
mascot is "The Big Red". When Harvard plays Cornell, one can picture a
battle to see who has the best bloody secretions. I'd vote Crimson, as it
is more colorful and more painful.
ObWomanlyTasteless: I managed to seriously traumatize the young lady
across the hall from me (while she was in my roommate's bed, both of them
talking and keeping me awake) with mere mention of the word "speculum".
ObBand: See .signature file. I wish I'd made this trip. If the band hadn't
got there late, we'd have run out of fight songs.
--Matt
--
Matt Bruce (mlb...@husc.harvard.edu) takes sole credit for this message.
Not necessarily the opinions of any entity I'm part of, or vice versa.
Harvard 12, Yale 1; at Ingolls Rink (New Haven, CT). FIRST: H-Gustafson
(Martins, Coughlin) 4:28. H-Karmanos (Cohagan, McLaughlin), 11:31.
H-Farrell (Baird, Karmanos), 17:28. SECOND: H-McCann (Farrell, Baird)
2:20(PPG). H-Swenson (McLaughlin), 3:36. H-Farrell (Baird, McCann) 4:14.
H-McCann (Nielson, Cohagan), 6:21. Y-Mackey (Sorem, Barbanti), 8:57(PPG).
H-Martins (Halfnight), 13:58(SHG). H-Farrell (McCann, Martins),
18:51(PPG). THIRD: H-Halfnight (Gustafson, Body) :44(5x3). H-Gustafson
(McCann, Martins) 11:59. H-Craigen (Swenson, Kennish) 13:01. SAVES:
H-Israel 3-3-4-10. Y-Kamatovic 12-3-/-15, Sullivan /-0-7-7.
Jo Miller
mlb...@husc7.harvard.edu writes:
>With the irony being that the original post came from someone whose new
>mascot is "The Big Red". When Harvard plays Cornell, one can picture a
>battle to see who has the best bloody secretions. I'd vote Crimson, as it
>is more colorful and more painful.
Someone needs to come up with an appropriate mascot for this
university-in-the-middle-of-fucking-nowhere. My vote would be for rabid
raccoon or gut-shot deer.
>
>ObWomanlyTasteless: I managed to seriously traumatize the young lady
>across the hall from me (while she was in my roommate's bed, both of them
>talking and keeping me awake) with mere mention of the word "speculum".
Ironically, Speculum is the name of the prestigious journal of the
Medieval Academy of America, a scholarly organization made up of
constipated old white guys too sheltered to realize what the word means
to the rest of the population. I have several issues of this dry
publication on my shelf, and people who visit my house definitely do NOT
think, "Ah, Speculum. That is Latin for 'mirror.' This must be a
medieval history journal." No, they pull down a copy and start looking
for pictures of cranked-open vaginas (er, vaginae).
Just thinking of the dreaded salad tongs makes me shudder...
Jo
grungy
> Well, you only need three persons to form a triangle... We proved that one
> at the Cornell show.
We did this once. Only three of us MOBsters (trumpet, tenor sax, snare
drum) showed up for the spring training football game, but we put on a show
anyway. Just stood out there and yelled "This is a triangle!" and played
the fight song. Didn't really move and yelled "This is a circle!" and
played, hmmm, something else. The crowd didn't look any more or less
confused than usual. (
--
bcnu - grungy - Rice U. MOBster '73-'93
.opinions expressed are just that.obviously.
kleptoids - n. the beings that steal and hide
something that was just put down (rumored to
be invisible)
Thomas Joseph Donohue
> [snippage]
>Actually, Harvard doesn't have a bestial mascot. They're the Crimson,
>whatever tha means. When I think of Crimson, I do think of tampons. So,
>they can be the Harvard Twatrags. Hey, I like that! Or the Harvard
>Sootikins. How about the Harvard Clots?
"Well they call Alabama the Crimson Tide..."
Rusty "disemboweling myself to feed the homeless" D
==========================================================================
@@/\@@ Tom "RustyD" Donohue - dono...@w250zrz.zrz.tu-berlin.de @@/\@@
@(())@ "...and, lo, the piss did flow, the shits were released, @(())@
@\/@ and bladders and sphyncters alike were much relieved." @\/@
==========================================================================
These statements and viewpoints are my own; they do not represent those of
anyone else, living, dead, undead, yet to be born, or slowly dying in pain.
Ken MacFarlane
>With the irony being that the original post came from someone whose new
>mascot is "The Big Red". When Harvard plays Cornell, one can picture a
>battle to see who has the best bloody secretions. I'd vote Crimson, as it
>is more colorful and more painful.
I always thought that the Cornell mascot was a weasel. At least
that's the general impression of what the ugly
animal-type-things-wearing-Cornell-shirts look like.
Of course, most of the time our mascot is a dork...
>ObWomanlyTasteless: I managed to seriously traumatize the young lady
>across the hall from me (while she was in my roommate's bed, both of them
>talking and keeping me awake) with mere mention of the word "speculum".
Try preceding it with "cold" next time. Works wonders.
In reference to grungy's post: At our home games, the home stands
remain fairly full...there were certainly a hell of a lot of boos for
the Brown, Princeton and Cornell bands when they took the field at the
half. Turned to cheers when we take the field, of course.
Ken MacFarlane, a.k.a. k...@eniac.seas.upenn.edu
Percussionist, PGA Director, and All-Around Old Guy, Penn Band
/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\
"Because five years is forever and you haven't grown up yet." -Axl Rose
--
Ken MacFarlane | email: k...@eniac.seas.upenn.edu
CETS Technical Staff | k...@pender.ee.upenn.edu
University of Pennsylvania | office: 057 GRW (Moore)
Philadelphia, PA 19104 | phone: (215)898-2476
James J. Szinger
>Excuse me, but is it me, or was the reason the Yale Band was not in
>attendance at the last Columbia-Yale Football game because YOU GUYS
>COULDN'T AFFORD THE BUS?
We have lives, you know. We can't go to every away game against
every dinky school. We had important things to do that weekend,
like sortin our sock drawers, for instance.
Matt Bruce
(referring to the lack of a yale band vs. Columbia)
: We have lives, you know. We can't go to every away game against
: every dinky school. We had important things to do that weekend,
: like sortin our sock drawers, for instance.
Two things strike me here:
1. Were you that afraid of the shock the Baker Field fans would have at
seeing a band that looked exactly like theirs, yet so much the inferior?
2. This "more important things to do" philosophy regarding sports
intrigues me. I can see not going to Central Florida, but Columbia's,
what, about an hour or two away? If that's your philosophy, why go to
_anything_? Certainly not for the scintillating yale athletic
program. Which reminds me: Does your hockey team follow the same M.O.?
Matt Bruce
: In reference to grungy's post: At our home games, the home stands
: remain fairly full...there were certainly a hell of a lot of boos for
: the Brown, Princeton and Cornell bands when they took the field at the
: half. Turned to cheers when we take the field, of course.
Granted memories get hazy, but I don't remember any boos at Penn Stadium
("Quaker Field"?) when we came last year. Maybe just because it was
parents weekend and the gray-hairs were too polite, who knows? In any
case, the only boos I remember last year or this year were from the yale
stands and the Cornell band, both road games this year.
James J. Szinger
>(referring to the lack of a yale band vs. Columbia)
>: We have lives, you know. We can't go to every away game against
>: every dinky school. We had important things to do that weekend,
>: like sortin our sock drawers, for instance.
>Two things strike me here:
>1. Were you that afraid of the shock the Baker Field fans would have at
>seeing a band that looked exactly like theirs, yet so much the inferior?
The only shock the Columbia crowd would have experienced would be
that of seeing a band that does formations more complex than a staple.
>2. This "more important things to do" philosophy regarding sports
>intrigues me. I can see not going to Central Florida, but Columbia's,
>what, about an hour or two away? If that's your philosophy, why go to
>_anything_? Certainly not for the scintillating yale athletic
>program. Which reminds me: Does your hockey team follow the same M.O.?
We both know there's only one reason Columbia's in the Ivy
League: so that every other team is guaranteed an easy win. Why
spend two hours on a bus and end up in Harlem if the outcome is
certain?
As for the hockey team, it's now safe to reveal that they
participated in a secret NASA experiment and became the first
hockey team to go to Jupiter which explains why they weren't at
Ingalls Rink on Saturday.
Jim
P.S. Please note the correct spelling of Ingalls.
Trashcan Man
>In article <2ei4kh$a...@scunix2.harvard.edu> mlb...@husc7.harvard.edu (Matt Bruce) writes:
>>With the irony being that the original post came from someone whose new
>>mascot is "The Big Red". When Harvard plays Cornell, one can picture a
>>battle to see who has the best bloody secretions. I'd vote Crimson, as it
>>is more colorful and more painful.
>
>I always thought that the Cornell mascot was a weasel. At least
>that's the general impression of what the ugly
>animal-type-things-wearing-Cornell-shirts look like.
When I was up, I went up to the Cornell Bear(?) and said to him, "Hi
Mouse!" He was not amused- he hit me.
>Of course, most of the time our mascot is a dork...
Yeah! I noticed. At the game, I was openly fantasizing about taking the
Quaker to the Boathouse behind the stadium and fitting him with cement
boots. Whata more fitting way to meet one's demise in NYC.
>>ObWomanlyTasteless: I managed to seriously traumatize the young lady
>>across the hall from me (while she was in my roommate's bed, both of them
>>talking and keeping me awake) with mere mention of the word "speculum".
>
>Try preceding it with "cold" next time. Works wonders.
How about the word "pap smear"?
>In reference to grungy's post: At our home games, the home stands
>remain fairly full...there were certainly a hell of a lot of boos for
>the Brown, Princeton and Cornell bands when they took the field at the
>half. Turned to cheers when we take the field, of course.
No one at Baker field ever boos the opposition's bands, but then again,
columbia students are pretty apathetic. Our best showing was definetely
Employee Appreciation Day (free food for all Columbia staff- since I'm
both staff and student, I got the best of both worlds 8) ) and then
followed by Homecoming. Believe it or not, there were quite a few at the
Fordham game.
But seriously, you guys just weren't very funny. Oh, and we know who sent
the fake letter to the Columbia Spectator from the Aryan Nation. It did,
after all, have a Philadelphia postmark...
Trashcan Man
>In article <2e6fpb$p...@panix.com> to...@panix.com (Trashcan Man) writes:
>
>>Excuse me, but is it me, or was the reason the Yale Band was not in
>>attendance at the last Columbia-Yale Football game because YOU GUYS
>>COULDN'T AFFORD THE BUS?
>
>We have lives, you know. We can't go to every away game against
>every dinky school. We had important things to do that weekend,
>like sortin our sock drawers, for instance.
Yeah... cum rags^H^H^H socks get kinda raunchy after a while, don't they?
And please, you have lives? YOU LIVE IN NEW HAVEN!!! 'Nuff said.
Trashcan "Really, I mean well" Man.
Trashcan Man
>
>(referring to the lack of a yale band vs. Columbia)
>: We have lives, you know. We can't go to every away game against
>: every dinky school. We had important things to do that weekend,
>: like sortin our sock drawers, for instance.
>
>Two things strike me here:
>1. Were you that afraid of the shock the Baker Field fans would have at
>seeing a band that looked exactly like theirs, yet so much the inferior?
Ohhh. Low blow. Score one for Matt.
>2. This "more important things to do" philosophy regarding sports
>intrigues me. I can see not going to Central Florida, but Columbia's,
>what, about an hour or two away? If that's your philosophy, why go to
>_anything_? Certainly not for the scintillating yale athletic
>program. Which reminds me: Does your hockey team follow the same M.O.?
Columbia is a Mere 1.5 hour ride. But we're digressing from the original
point. They call themselves a Band, yet they only go to hom games. Which
leads me to believe that they're an emasculated version of a band. Gawd,
couldn't some alum give you the 500 bucks it costs to rent a bus both ways?
Trashcan Man.
Trashcan Man
>>Two things strike me here:
>>1. Were you that afraid of the shock the Baker Field fans would have at
>>seeing a band that looked exactly like theirs, yet so much the inferior?
>
>The only shock the Columbia crowd would have experienced would be
>that of seeing a band that does formations more complex than a staple.
Ahh, but it's not in the complexity of the formations, but in the humor of
the scripts. I guarantee that you will yet to find a funnier, more ballsy
script than the ones we turn out. Who but us at the Penn game would make
references to "water buffaloes"? Who but us would dare sieg heil and goose
step at a school that's about 40% Jewish? Who but us would announce *at
Princeton* that Keith Elias was injured during our halftime show, and
would be out for the season (we made the NY times, NY Post, the Curtis &
Lisa Sliwa Show on radio, and have appeared on The Howard Stern Show. Top
that, Yale)
>We both know there's only one reason Columbia's in the Ivy
>League: so that every other team is guaranteed an easy win. Why
>spend two hours on a bus and end up in Harlem if the outcome is
>certain?
Except for Cornell. They just can't seem to beat us. Hmmm...
grungy
> Who but us would announce *at
> Princeton* that Keith Elias was injured during our halftime show, and
> would be out for the season (we made the NY times, NY Post, the Curtis &
> Lisa Sliwa Show on radio, and have appeared on The Howard Stern Show. Top
> that, Yale)
Hooked me! Keith Elias? Huh?
grungy
Daniel...@Brown.edu (Daniel Press) wrote:
> The West Point show. 'Nuff said.
Tell us a STORY unca' Dan...
--
bcnu - grungy - Rice U. MOBster '73-'93
.opinions expressed are just that.obviously.
"Vanna, I want to buy a diphthong."
THOG
Ken MacFarlane
>I guarantee that you will yet to find a funnier, more ballsy
>script than the ones we turn out. Who but us at the Penn game would make
>references to "water buffaloes"?
Brown, possibly Harvard. Even Cornell mentioned it. "Water buffalo"
was never ballsy. Ballsy is forming "10-0" on the field when you're
down 14-0 to Cornell at the half.
>Who but us would announce *at
>Princeton* that Keith Elias was injured during our halftime show, and
>would be out for the season (we made the NY times, NY Post, the Curtis &
>Lisa Sliwa Show on radio, and have appeared on The Howard Stern Show. Top
>that, Yale)
I have to admit this one wins my nomination for non-Penn Ivy League
Joke of the Year.
Matt Bruce
: would be out for the season (we made the NY times, NY Post, the Curtis &
: Lisa Sliwa Show on radio, and have appeared on The Howard Stern Show. Top
: that, Yale)
@#$% New Yorkers, always have access to the prime media outlets. Then
again, so do the Mets. :)
Matt Bruce
[Tobio water buffalo reference deleted]
: Brown, possibly Harvard. Even Cornell mentioned it. "Water buffalo"
: was never ballsy. Ballsy is forming "10-0" on the field when you're
: down 14-0 to Cornell at the half.
Just our luck we'd be at home vs. Penn the year this happened. Plus it's
hard to fit water buffaloes into a salute to Joe Restic. (for non-Ivy
readers, he retired as our football coach after about 100 years. This was
his last home game, so a little reverence was in order...)
--Matt
ObBand: Anyone know how much a decent silverish trumpet would cost these days?